Showing posts with label Real World. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Real World. Show all posts
20 November 2012
This Is What Maturity Looks Like?
When you have 4 episodes of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge backed up on your DVR, you give up and delete them. That's too many hours of my life to waste all at once. Plus, you know, I barely knew anyone who was left anyway. Let me know if something happens.
08 October 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
Trishelle is gunning for Sarah because Sarah has her eyes on Alton and Alton is a whore.
The Challenge is a crazy 5-legged race that involves hanging and hooks. And it's suspended over water, as most Challenges are. Eric hits the water right away, as Eric is prone to do. Fresh Meat loses.
The Power Team is Las Vegas. Trishelle wants Sarah/Brooklyn gone, but Alton of course defends his new BFF. I'm not commenting on the fact that Alton's sitting in the back of the bus eating watermelon while they argue. Nope. Trishelle wins that fight. I love that Devyn accuses Sarah of not knowing how to give a proper BJ.
The Arena: A strategy game, with Cara Maria & Brandon being chosen to go against Sarah & Chet, who volunteered themselves. The strategy game involves tying knots in a rope around a jungle gym; then the other team has to unwrap the rope. Besides being a strategy game, it's a heavy-ass rope.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Brandon. Aw, man, MORE PEOPLE I KNOW GOING HOME!! This stinks. I'll miss Cara Maria and her crazy Jack Sparrow hair.
The Challenge is a crazy 5-legged race that involves hanging and hooks. And it's suspended over water, as most Challenges are. Eric hits the water right away, as Eric is prone to do. Fresh Meat loses.
The Power Team is Las Vegas. Trishelle wants Sarah/Brooklyn gone, but Alton of course defends his new BFF. I'm not commenting on the fact that Alton's sitting in the back of the bus eating watermelon while they argue. Nope. Trishelle wins that fight. I love that Devyn accuses Sarah of not knowing how to give a proper BJ.
The Arena: A strategy game, with Cara Maria & Brandon being chosen to go against Sarah & Chet, who volunteered themselves. The strategy game involves tying knots in a rope around a jungle gym; then the other team has to unwrap the rope. Besides being a strategy game, it's a heavy-ass rope.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Brandon. Aw, man, MORE PEOPLE I KNOW GOING HOME!! This stinks. I'll miss Cara Maria and her crazy Jack Sparrow hair.
02 October 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
Sarah's got jungle fever, all in love with Alton. Well, as we know, his body is on point. Exes Melinda and Danny both have significant others back home, so 10 bucks says they end up hooking up.
The challenge is some good old-fashioned, porny, trashy oil wrestling. Really. The fact that they have to wear helmets kind of kills the mood. You know what's killing me this season? The soundtrack. We get it, dubstep is hot right now.
As for these people I don't know: 1) Knight is a fat dumb douche idiot 2) I love Laura's hair and 3) I got confirmation that Sam is a chick, so at least wrestling in bathing suits did that for me.
The Power Team is San Diego, and they choose Fresh Meat to go up against the losers, Austin. Dammit - I'm losing all the people I know! They also choose Endurance.
The Arena: Melinda & Danny (cuz that's all that's left of Austin) v. Camila & Eric (Fresh Meat didn't decide so San Diego chose).
Bye-bye: Melinda & Danny. Oh well, guess they won't hook up after all. Til the next Challenge....
The challenge is some good old-fashioned, porny, trashy oil wrestling. Really. The fact that they have to wear helmets kind of kills the mood. You know what's killing me this season? The soundtrack. We get it, dubstep is hot right now.
As for these people I don't know: 1) Knight is a fat dumb douche idiot 2) I love Laura's hair and 3) I got confirmation that Sam is a chick, so at least wrestling in bathing suits did that for me.
The Power Team is San Diego, and they choose Fresh Meat to go up against the losers, Austin. Dammit - I'm losing all the people I know! They also choose Endurance.
The Arena: Melinda & Danny (cuz that's all that's left of Austin) v. Camila & Eric (Fresh Meat didn't decide so San Diego chose).
Bye-bye: Melinda & Danny. Oh well, guess they won't hook up after all. Til the next Challenge....
20 September 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
The Challenge is back so YAY but also who are half these people so BOO. It's the Battle of the Seasons, but I've only seen Austin (LOL divorcees Melinda and Danny!), the original Las Vegas, and Brooklyn. Oh lordy Devyn has had a lot of plastic surgery. She looks awful.
Didn't see Back to New Orleans, Back to Las Vegas, Back to San Diego (Jesus, they just kept going back to places?), St. Thomas, or Cancun, though I know Jonna and Jasmine from prior Challenges. So yeah, I don't know more than half these people. But on the plus side, 45% of the guys appear to be gay.
Right before the challenge, we're suddenly introduced to a new team -- Team Fresh Meat. Well, thank god, now I know more people. Big Easy's lost 70 pounds, but that doesn't stop him from falling into the water, quitting, and DQ'ing. Fresh Meat loses. The Power Team is Cancun, and as such they get to choose which team goes against Fresh Meat, and they choose Team Austin. The Power Team also gets to choose the type of game that's played, and they choose Physical.
The Teams each choose (or else have chosen for them) a guy and a girl to go into the... Arena, I guess? I don't know. Ever since The Hunger Games I think something called the Arena should be more awesome.
Frank is your first hot drunken mess, as he gets hilariously, slurry drunk and rages against everyone until passing out. Jonna's suddenly in love with Zach, but - shocker - she just started seeing someone. Won't stop her from calling the BF and dumping him instantly. Class.
Lacey and Wes choose to go in for Austin and Eric and Cara Maria choose to go in for Fresh Meat (well, Cara Maria has second thoughts, but, hey, she volunteered. No takebacks.).
The challenge involves the competitors tackling each other in an enclosed tube. Cara Maria wins. Then Eric wins. Because, well, it involves tackling in an enclosed tube.
Bye-bye: Lacey and Wes. That's got to be some kind of record for Wes.
Didn't see Back to New Orleans, Back to Las Vegas, Back to San Diego (Jesus, they just kept going back to places?), St. Thomas, or Cancun, though I know Jonna and Jasmine from prior Challenges. So yeah, I don't know more than half these people. But on the plus side, 45% of the guys appear to be gay.
Right before the challenge, we're suddenly introduced to a new team -- Team Fresh Meat. Well, thank god, now I know more people. Big Easy's lost 70 pounds, but that doesn't stop him from falling into the water, quitting, and DQ'ing. Fresh Meat loses. The Power Team is Cancun, and as such they get to choose which team goes against Fresh Meat, and they choose Team Austin. The Power Team also gets to choose the type of game that's played, and they choose Physical.
The Teams each choose (or else have chosen for them) a guy and a girl to go into the... Arena, I guess? I don't know. Ever since The Hunger Games I think something called the Arena should be more awesome.
Frank is your first hot drunken mess, as he gets hilariously, slurry drunk and rages against everyone until passing out. Jonna's suddenly in love with Zach, but - shocker - she just started seeing someone. Won't stop her from calling the BF and dumping him instantly. Class.
Lacey and Wes choose to go in for Austin and Eric and Cara Maria choose to go in for Fresh Meat (well, Cara Maria has second thoughts, but, hey, she volunteered. No takebacks.).
The challenge involves the competitors tackling each other in an enclosed tube. Cara Maria wins. Then Eric wins. Because, well, it involves tackling in an enclosed tube.
Bye-bye: Lacey and Wes. That's got to be some kind of record for Wes.
08 April 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Reunion
The Miz hosts the Reunion this year. I don't know too much about wrestling, but I know enough to know that he's kind of a big deal. Go figure. I remember when he was Mike and he created that damn character on The Real World!
Johnny Bananas is the Ultimate Douchebag. He uses the word gnarly. And wears a tee shirt with his nickname on it. Die.
As usual, Paula brings the hot-mess on the Reunion, because - shocker - her BF dumped her old ass after she was banging Ty and now she's alone. Forever. Spinster Paula is my favorite Paula. She's literally hyperventilating/sobbing. Jesus, woman. Dead by next year?
Robin takes major offense at being called crazy. Only literally-crazy people do that. Mark might not actually be retiring, because the young people like him on the Twitters. And that's it; nothing earth-shattering to see here.
Johnny Bananas is the Ultimate Douchebag. He uses the word gnarly. And wears a tee shirt with his nickname on it. Die.
As usual, Paula brings the hot-mess on the Reunion, because - shocker - her BF dumped her old ass after she was banging Ty and now she's alone. Forever. Spinster Paula is my favorite Paula. She's literally hyperventilating/sobbing. Jesus, woman. Dead by next year?
Robin takes major offense at being called crazy. Only literally-crazy people do that. Mark might not actually be retiring, because the young people like him on the Twitters. And that's it; nothing earth-shattering to see here.
02 April 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Finale Part II
Sorry about that, folks. My ass was brainwashed into thinking books were a good idea, and I was preoccupied with reading The Hunger Games trilogy in 11 days. But guess what? The third book SUCKED ASS so I'm out. Back to normal. No more books for me. I'm so pissed I need to watch The Challenge NOW! At least that's only 42 minutes long....
Everyone is awoken in the dark on the frozen tundra. Their challenges include a nasty-food one, of course. Diem's a vegetarian but has to eat some animal's head and a cup of blood. But other than that, there isn't a whole lot to talk about. The usual challenges. Just in snow. So they seem even more awful.
CT's the Big Disappointment this time around, as he's utterly exhausted and literally useless by the time a puzzle comes along. It's a battle between CT and Diem and Camila and Johnny; I don't even know what happened to Emily and Ty.
Winners: Johnny and Camila. Ew I hate Johnny. But seriously - where are Emily and Ty? Did they die and I missed it? There they are -- I wonder how far behind they were. Cuz seriously. It seemed like 8 hours.
Everyone is awoken in the dark on the frozen tundra. Their challenges include a nasty-food one, of course. Diem's a vegetarian but has to eat some animal's head and a cup of blood. But other than that, there isn't a whole lot to talk about. The usual challenges. Just in snow. So they seem even more awful.
CT's the Big Disappointment this time around, as he's utterly exhausted and literally useless by the time a puzzle comes along. It's a battle between CT and Diem and Camila and Johnny; I don't even know what happened to Emily and Ty.
Winners: Johnny and Camila. Ew I hate Johnny. But seriously - where are Emily and Ty? Did they die and I missed it? There they are -- I wonder how far behind they were. Cuz seriously. It seemed like 8 hours.
22 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Finale Part I
The Dome: Mark and Robin v. Camila and Johnny, in that brutal pull-the-stick-away-from-the-other-person challenge. Camila kicks Robin's ass and Johnny breaks the old guy down.
Bye-bye: Mark and Robin. Go raise your son, sweetie. Mark of course claims this is his retirement, but I don't buy it.
Time to travel to ICELAND!! That sounds like a goddamn nightmare, but these idiots are excited. I hope their dicks freeze off. Because it's -10 degrees. TJ tells them to get some rest. So of course they go out and do some shots.
The final challenge involves 7 different checkpoints. And they HAVE to finish; you can't quit and settle for third. Sounds like a TJ Rule.
First up is dog-sledding and then they have to jump into an icy river. The best time at those events gets the best sleeping accommodations. They're all sleeping on the glacier tonight. I like the whole ranking of accommodations. Nice.
CT and Diem are in 1st, so they sleep in a tent with an air mattress, fur blankets, and heating lamps. Johnny and Camila are in 2nd, and get a little heater. Emily and Ty are last, so they sleep on 2 yoga mats. Honestly, it would have been better if it had been, like, a hotel room v. a cabin v. a tent. But I guess there aren't a lot of hotels on the middle of glaciers.
To be continued!!!
15 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
When we last left these idiots, Ty was semi-offended by Emily's blackface and we awaited who would be going into The Dome with them. Paula and Dunbar are sent in. Jesus, even TJ tells CT and Diem that it was a stupid move. Shoulda broken up with Johnny/Mark alliance instead of picking on Paula and Dunbar. Whatever, dude, they don't overthink this stuff. Except that they do.
Bye-bye: Paula and Dunbar. AHAHAHAHAHA. Paula says she'll be doing challenges til she's 83. So next year, then?
The remaining teams are summoned to an airfield. This is the point where I remember that they're going to, like, the goddamn Arctic for the finale and I'm excited again. Not yet though -- this challenge just involves doing some crap while running through the jet wash. The jet wash is horrifically strong, so the challenge is hysterical.
Power Couple: CT and Diem. In your face, TJ!
The Dome: Mark and Robin are sent in to go against losers Camila and Johnny. Mark literally hasn't gone through an elimination challenge in his 57 years of doing Challenges? Damn. To be continued, of course.
Bye-bye: Paula and Dunbar. AHAHAHAHAHA. Paula says she'll be doing challenges til she's 83. So next year, then?
The remaining teams are summoned to an airfield. This is the point where I remember that they're going to, like, the goddamn Arctic for the finale and I'm excited again. Not yet though -- this challenge just involves doing some crap while running through the jet wash. The jet wash is horrifically strong, so the challenge is hysterical.
Power Couple: CT and Diem. In your face, TJ!
The Dome: Mark and Robin are sent in to go against losers Camila and Johnny. Mark literally hasn't gone through an elimination challenge in his 57 years of doing Challenges? Damn. To be continued, of course.
08 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Paula tells Ty he has no chance. Which of course means he'll have full access to 3 holes in 15 minutes.
Diem whines/talks things out with CT. She looks 53 years old. She's the new Paula. But at least she has cancer survival as an excuse.
The challenge is wedding-themed, complete with dresses and tuxes and eating a huge wedding cake and Dunbar dropping Paula in the ocean.
Power Couple: CT and Diem.
Emily and Camila decide to dress up as Ty and Paula, respectively. Emily: "Are you sure this isn't racist?" No, actually, I'm not sure.... Apparently, that's where Ty draws the line -- blackface made out of melted chocolate. Ty says he's going home, Emily feels bad because she didn't realize blackface was racist, and Paula's begging Ty to stay. But really it's not the racism that bothers Ty, it's just feeling alone and like he has no one. You have the old lady, dude.
The show ends on a lame cliffhanger - who will be sent in to go against losers Ty and Emily?
Diem whines/talks things out with CT. She looks 53 years old. She's the new Paula. But at least she has cancer survival as an excuse.
The challenge is wedding-themed, complete with dresses and tuxes and eating a huge wedding cake and Dunbar dropping Paula in the ocean.
Power Couple: CT and Diem.
Emily and Camila decide to dress up as Ty and Paula, respectively. Emily: "Are you sure this isn't racist?" No, actually, I'm not sure.... Apparently, that's where Ty draws the line -- blackface made out of melted chocolate. Ty says he's going home, Emily feels bad because she didn't realize blackface was racist, and Paula's begging Ty to stay. But really it's not the racism that bothers Ty, it's just feeling alone and like he has no one. You have the old lady, dude.
The show ends on a lame cliffhanger - who will be sent in to go against losers Ty and Emily?
03 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Ty and Paula keep flirting and Paula keeps saying she has a boyfriend. They end up making out. And motorboating. And screwing. It's the Worst Thing I've Ever Seen. Diem and CT have a massive, drunken, crying fight on a bus and it's the Greatest Thing I've Ever Seen. Thanks for taking the sting off Ty banging that old lady, guys.
The Challenge involves handling slippery balls and - let's face it (this is too easy) - if there's one thing these people are good at, it's handling slippery balls.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila. Jesus Christ - it's always them!
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in to go against losers Dunbar and Paula. It's that awful giant-rubber-band resistance challenge.
Bye-bye: Rachel and Aneesa.
The Challenge involves handling slippery balls and - let's face it (this is too easy) - if there's one thing these people are good at, it's handling slippery balls.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila. Jesus Christ - it's always them!
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in to go against losers Dunbar and Paula. It's that awful giant-rubber-band resistance challenge.
Bye-bye: Rachel and Aneesa.
23 February 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Time for a night of boozing and time for Camila to cry and rage and walk around topless and jump in the pool because she wants attention from that douche Johnny. That bitch is cray. Cara Maria's all, "Abram, move in with me." Always good to make cohabitation plans when you're drunk in Costa Rica. But I love those crazy kids and I want it to work out. Unfortunately, once they're sober, she's too afraid to do it.
The challenge involves jumping across a bunch of really tall pillars. It's frighteningly unstable-looking, to hell with being tethered to a rope above.
Power Couple: Robin and Mark. I love how much Robin enjoys being the Queen and Mark pretty much discounts her altogether.
The Dome: Ty and Emily are sent in to go against losers Cara Maria and Abram. It's that brutal wrestling challenge, where of course Emily destroys Cara Maria. And Ty gets Abram eventually.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Abram. Work it out, you crazy kids.
The challenge involves jumping across a bunch of really tall pillars. It's frighteningly unstable-looking, to hell with being tethered to a rope above.
Power Couple: Robin and Mark. I love how much Robin enjoys being the Queen and Mark pretty much discounts her altogether.
The Dome: Ty and Emily are sent in to go against losers Cara Maria and Abram. It's that brutal wrestling challenge, where of course Emily destroys Cara Maria. And Ty gets Abram eventually.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Abram. Work it out, you crazy kids.
19 February 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Everyone paints their faces and gets drunk. So in no time, they're all bitching at each other with ridiculous makeup on their faces.
The challenge is holding on to a giant, rapidly-spinning log suspended over the water. When you fall off, you swim, etc. etc.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila.
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in against losers Jasmine and Tyrie. It's that spinny challenge again where you have to jump over and duck under the spinny things.
It comes down to Rachel v. Jasmine. And of course Rachel wins.
Bye-bye: Jasmine and Tyrie.
Verdict: Most boring episode ever.
The challenge is holding on to a giant, rapidly-spinning log suspended over the water. When you fall off, you swim, etc. etc.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila.
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in against losers Jasmine and Tyrie. It's that spinny challenge again where you have to jump over and duck under the spinny things.
It comes down to Rachel v. Jasmine. And of course Rachel wins.
Bye-bye: Jasmine and Tyrie.
Verdict: Most boring episode ever.
14 February 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Dustin and Heather get sent home because Dustin busted his knee and had to get stitches. Damn, they just drop them without ceremony around here. What's most amazing is that Dustin wasn't drunk when he hurt himself. How are there not more drunken injuries on this show?
The challenge involves general-knowledge questions. I don't think these people have general knowledge. Shocking news: Paula can spell "calculator" but thinks John Wilkes Booth killed JFK.
Power Couple: Dunbar and Paula. Yeah, cuz they're the smartest.
The Dome: Emily and Ty are sent in to go against losers Leroy and Naomi. It's some giant rubber band challenge, and it's painful to watch because they're working against so much resistance.
Bye-bye: Leroy and Naomi. And now Emily and Ty are coming back pissed that they were thrown in.
The challenge involves general-knowledge questions. I don't think these people have general knowledge. Shocking news: Paula can spell "calculator" but thinks John Wilkes Booth killed JFK.
Power Couple: Dunbar and Paula. Yeah, cuz they're the smartest.
The Dome: Emily and Ty are sent in to go against losers Leroy and Naomi. It's some giant rubber band challenge, and it's painful to watch because they're working against so much resistance.
Bye-bye: Leroy and Naomi. And now Emily and Ty are coming back pissed that they were thrown in.
06 February 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Jasmine and Tyrie are living up to my expectation for being the most volatile couple. He shows her his ass and she punches him -- hard. Jasmine is officially the Black Tonya. She doesn't get kicked out for that? Then it's not a zero-tolerance policy, is it, MTV?
The challenge involves hooks and platforms and is suspended above water, as all challenges are.
Power Couple: Sarah and Vinny.
Everyone goes partying. Vinny - who you may recall is DISGUSTING - dances in the club with his shirt off. And then proceeds to rip off Mandi's top. She's, of course, humiliated -- not that the top was covering up much to begin with, mind you.
The Dome: Wes and Mandi are sent in to go against losers Naomi and Leroy. Vinny, in choosing Wes and Mandi, proceeds to rail about how much of an idiot Wes is. Yeah dude, fine, you're right, but that just makes Wes go after him for the booby incident. Vinny is WAY more of an idiot than Wes. God, I hate him. Aaaaaand Vinny gets the boot from the competition. Good. Fat prick. Unfortunately, Sarah gets kicked out too. Which is horrible because I love her and I feel bad, but she's the idiot who banged Vinny. So you reap what you sow, bitch. It's amazing watching her lose her shit about being kicked out. Waaaaahhhhhh I can't stay and drink and compete in this stupid TV show waaaaaahhhhhhh. I bet they had to be on the same flight out.
They still go through with The Dome, and it's one of those brutal tug-of-war-type things. Leroy and Mandi win their respective battles, so there's one sudden death round (chosen with a coin flip): the guys. And Leroy wins.
Bye-bye: Wes and Mandi. Damn, that sucks -- who is everyone going to hate now???
The challenge involves hooks and platforms and is suspended above water, as all challenges are.
Power Couple: Sarah and Vinny.
Everyone goes partying. Vinny - who you may recall is DISGUSTING - dances in the club with his shirt off. And then proceeds to rip off Mandi's top. She's, of course, humiliated -- not that the top was covering up much to begin with, mind you.
The Dome: Wes and Mandi are sent in to go against losers Naomi and Leroy. Vinny, in choosing Wes and Mandi, proceeds to rail about how much of an idiot Wes is. Yeah dude, fine, you're right, but that just makes Wes go after him for the booby incident. Vinny is WAY more of an idiot than Wes. God, I hate him. Aaaaaand Vinny gets the boot from the competition. Good. Fat prick. Unfortunately, Sarah gets kicked out too. Which is horrible because I love her and I feel bad, but she's the idiot who banged Vinny. So you reap what you sow, bitch. It's amazing watching her lose her shit about being kicked out. Waaaaahhhhhh I can't stay and drink and compete in this stupid TV show waaaaaahhhhhhh. I bet they had to be on the same flight out.
They still go through with The Dome, and it's one of those brutal tug-of-war-type things. Leroy and Mandi win their respective battles, so there's one sudden death round (chosen with a coin flip): the guys. And Leroy wins.
Bye-bye: Wes and Mandi. Damn, that sucks -- who is everyone going to hate now???
26 January 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
EEEEEEE I forgot this was starting! Excellent.
The couples are paired up. Emily and Ty hate each other. Johnny and Camila seem ready to hook up again. Paula would definitely do Dunbar again.
The elimination rounds take place in The Dome. Ooooooo. Each Challenge's Power Couple chooses who goes into The Dome against the Challenge's losing couple.
The house is decorated with pictures of the couples' happier moments together. Love it! There should be nothing but large posters everywhere.
Challenge: The Challenge involves coating themselves in honey and wiping it off of each other. Of course it does - I'd expect nothing less from the first Challenge on Battle of the Exes.
Nate is my Number One Stunner in terms of hatred. Ugh. Just a fat, bro-dawg douche. Annoying, unfunny ass. Lucky for me, he also appears to suck at Challenges - he keeps falling in the water over and over and it's hysterical. Dunbar is fat as hell, but not as fat as Vinny. Naomi is a skank. I feel bad for Diem because she and CT had a legitimate relationship and they haven't talked to each other in ages and she's grossed out by all of his hookups and he's sad that she blew him off after his brother died. So it's helllllllla awkward. I genuinely feel bad -- but I love it.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila.
The Dome: Wes and Mandi are sent in to go against losers Nate and Priscilla. I thought the challenge would be far, far too athletic for Nate to handle, and I was right. Even Mandi outlasted him.
Bye-bye: Nate and Priscilla. Sorry I couldn't continue loving to hate you, bro. Glad to know you have big plans for the future -- like coming back to the next Challenge.
The couples are paired up. Emily and Ty hate each other. Johnny and Camila seem ready to hook up again. Paula would definitely do Dunbar again.
The elimination rounds take place in The Dome. Ooooooo. Each Challenge's Power Couple chooses who goes into The Dome against the Challenge's losing couple.
The house is decorated with pictures of the couples' happier moments together. Love it! There should be nothing but large posters everywhere.
Challenge: The Challenge involves coating themselves in honey and wiping it off of each other. Of course it does - I'd expect nothing less from the first Challenge on Battle of the Exes.
Nate is my Number One Stunner in terms of hatred. Ugh. Just a fat, bro-dawg douche. Annoying, unfunny ass. Lucky for me, he also appears to suck at Challenges - he keeps falling in the water over and over and it's hysterical. Dunbar is fat as hell, but not as fat as Vinny. Naomi is a skank. I feel bad for Diem because she and CT had a legitimate relationship and they haven't talked to each other in ages and she's grossed out by all of his hookups and he's sad that she blew him off after his brother died. So it's helllllllla awkward. I genuinely feel bad -- but I love it.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila.
The Dome: Wes and Mandi are sent in to go against losers Nate and Priscilla. I thought the challenge would be far, far too athletic for Nate to handle, and I was right. Even Mandi outlasted him.
Bye-bye: Nate and Priscilla. Sorry I couldn't continue loving to hate you, bro. Glad to know you have big plans for the future -- like coming back to the next Challenge.
12 January 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
I was really looking forward to this show... and then found out it was just a preview (I'm sorry - "the pre-game"). *sad horns* You know what? I don't care. I need this. I'll take it.
It's "hosted" by Kenny, who is awkward and awful at hosting. And the panel doesn't help much - Laurel, Mike, Tyler, and Jenn. I like Laurel's blonde hair but that bitch has no personality. The panel gives us their pointless predictions on how the couples will fare.
So here are our couples:
Paula and Dunbar - shocker, Paula's on a Challenge.
CT and Diem - I always thought they were a cute couple. We witnessed their first kiss! CT always brings the crazy.
Wes and Mandi - they hooked up, but it appeared to be mutual so they shouldn't really have bad blood between them.
Naomi and Leroy - I didn't watch that season, but I do like Leroy.
Heather and Dustin - again, didn't watch that season, but he is the one who did gay-for-pay online porn. Nice.
Priscilla and Nate - GODDAMMIT, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Nate is gross. Like, big fat bro-seph gross.
Abram and Cara Maria - I always liked those freaks. Too bad they didn't make it.
Jasmine and Tyrie - No thoughts on them. Maybe she'll go crazy?
Emily and Ty - I liked them too, but they have a hella volatile relationship.
Rachel and Aneesa - Should be good competitors, but who cares about that - lesbian drama.
Johnny and Camila - boring.
Mark and Robin - I liked them together. She's a crazy whore and I love her.
Sarah and Vinny - who is this Vinny effer and when did Sarah hook up with him!? I totally watched that Challenge -- I remembered the clips they showed -- but don't remember them.
It's "hosted" by Kenny, who is awkward and awful at hosting. And the panel doesn't help much - Laurel, Mike, Tyler, and Jenn. I like Laurel's blonde hair but that bitch has no personality. The panel gives us their pointless predictions on how the couples will fare.
So here are our couples:
Paula and Dunbar - shocker, Paula's on a Challenge.
CT and Diem - I always thought they were a cute couple. We witnessed their first kiss! CT always brings the crazy.
Wes and Mandi - they hooked up, but it appeared to be mutual so they shouldn't really have bad blood between them.
Naomi and Leroy - I didn't watch that season, but I do like Leroy.
Heather and Dustin - again, didn't watch that season, but he is the one who did gay-for-pay online porn. Nice.
Priscilla and Nate - GODDAMMIT, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Nate is gross. Like, big fat bro-seph gross.
Abram and Cara Maria - I always liked those freaks. Too bad they didn't make it.
Jasmine and Tyrie - No thoughts on them. Maybe she'll go crazy?
Emily and Ty - I liked them too, but they have a hella volatile relationship.
Rachel and Aneesa - Should be good competitors, but who cares about that - lesbian drama.
Johnny and Camila - boring.
Mark and Robin - I liked them together. She's a crazy whore and I love her.
Sarah and Vinny - who is this Vinny effer and when did Sarah hook up with him!? I totally watched that Challenge -- I remembered the clips they showed -- but don't remember them.
04 January 2012
Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Exes: YES!
Thanks to Kim for the reminder to check this preview out. Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Exes. This looks epic. Some thoughts: Abram and Cara Maria broke up. Shocker. Who did Sarah bang? Jesus, Robin, stop doing shows and go raise your kid. Looks like even more drama than usual - and it's the kind of show they could do for 50 years because they have quite the pool to choose from - PLUS I really like that Arctic setting at the end - normally they're all about the tropical locations, but I really like the idea of these idiots freezing to death. Hope it's awesome (and that I remember to watch it)!
28 August 2011
The Challenge: Rivals
There's not a whole hell of a lot to say about a Final Challenge episode. No drinking, no sex, no fights, just physical competition. And lame stuff, like shoveling dirt. Though it IS fun to watch Jenn cry and then get pissed and want to quit.
They threw in a food thing this year which is pretty brilliant. After doing all that hard, hot work, they have to eat everything on a table. TIME FOR PUKE!!!!! Wes in particular has some spectacular puke, because he's been heaving all day anyway.
I thought the puke would be the grossest part, but Wes develops some kind of growth behind his knee. I don't know what's going on, but Kenny actually picks his huge ass up and carries Wes up a mountain.
This Final Challenge is an overnight challenge, and Jenn and Mandi get disqualified because they don't make it to the checkpoint in time. There's a lot of midnight puking as the pairs have to take turns sleeping.
It's morning and time for another hike up a rocky mountain to find a key and unlock a trophy at the finish line. Mike quits because he's too sick to continue, and realizes he and Leroy have no shot anyway. TJ's not hard enough on him. Pussy.
Winners: Johnny and Tyler and Evelyn and Paula. Go Key West.
They threw in a food thing this year which is pretty brilliant. After doing all that hard, hot work, they have to eat everything on a table. TIME FOR PUKE!!!!! Wes in particular has some spectacular puke, because he's been heaving all day anyway.
I thought the puke would be the grossest part, but Wes develops some kind of growth behind his knee. I don't know what's going on, but Kenny actually picks his huge ass up and carries Wes up a mountain.
This Final Challenge is an overnight challenge, and Jenn and Mandi get disqualified because they don't make it to the checkpoint in time. There's a lot of midnight puking as the pairs have to take turns sleeping.
It's morning and time for another hike up a rocky mountain to find a key and unlock a trophy at the finish line. Mike quits because he's too sick to continue, and realizes he and Leroy have no shot anyway. TJ's not hard enough on him. Pussy.
Winners: Johnny and Tyler and Evelyn and Paula. Go Key West.
20 August 2011
The Challenge: Rivals
When we last left CT, he was beginning to rage out. Unfortunately, he didn't crack Johnny across the face. CT's just standing up for Adam, because they'll always have Paris.
The Jungle: It's CT and Adam vs. Johnny and Tyler in a thing that's hard to explain. But it has elements of football/rugby, so CT's about to crack some heads. He rocks Tyler and it's awesome. It's super-close and CT ends up carrying Adam across the finish by his shorts. Unfortunately, not in time.
Bye-bye: CT and Adam. Because Adam screwed up. Bummer. Wow, they really edited this well, because I'm actually sad for those dudes, and normally who gives a crap. They're making it out like it's the most devastating loss of all time. Maybe it is. But I'm not buying that Johnny and Tyler are in love and some kind of unstoppable force.
The Final Challenge is taking place in Patagonia. I thought that was a brand of backpack or something. Hiking gear, something like that? It's gorgeous, whatever it is, all green and mountains and lakes.
Wes continues his crusade against Cara Maria. She dares him to make her cry. Oh, sweetie, no. I'm surprised it doesn't happen, and she actually stands up for herself. It's not hard to counter Wes's "you're immature" argument when the man poured Coke all over your head. Pot, kettle, Wes.
It's the morning of the Final and Tyler and Jenn have food poisoning. Tyler's is worse, and he decides to compete against doctor's orders. Dumbass.
And so the Final begins. It's pretty hysterical how bad Jenn and Mandi are at kayaking. Like, so bad. But then Wes and Kenny are in their kayak backwards, so they're not much better.
To be continued, of course.
The Jungle: It's CT and Adam vs. Johnny and Tyler in a thing that's hard to explain. But it has elements of football/rugby, so CT's about to crack some heads. He rocks Tyler and it's awesome. It's super-close and CT ends up carrying Adam across the finish by his shorts. Unfortunately, not in time.
Bye-bye: CT and Adam. Because Adam screwed up. Bummer. Wow, they really edited this well, because I'm actually sad for those dudes, and normally who gives a crap. They're making it out like it's the most devastating loss of all time. Maybe it is. But I'm not buying that Johnny and Tyler are in love and some kind of unstoppable force.
The Final Challenge is taking place in Patagonia. I thought that was a brand of backpack or something. Hiking gear, something like that? It's gorgeous, whatever it is, all green and mountains and lakes.
Wes continues his crusade against Cara Maria. She dares him to make her cry. Oh, sweetie, no. I'm surprised it doesn't happen, and she actually stands up for herself. It's not hard to counter Wes's "you're immature" argument when the man poured Coke all over your head. Pot, kettle, Wes.
It's the morning of the Final and Tyler and Jenn have food poisoning. Tyler's is worse, and he decides to compete against doctor's orders. Dumbass.
And so the Final begins. It's pretty hysterical how bad Jenn and Mandi are at kayaking. Like, so bad. But then Wes and Kenny are in their kayak backwards, so they're not much better.
To be continued, of course.
11 August 2011
The Challenge: Rivals
Paula and Mike need to stop making out. I'm trying to keep food down.
They travel to this amazing villa in Argentina, and proceed to drunkenly tear it apart. Wes pours a 2-liter of Pepsi all over Cara Maria because Wes is 3. OMG, you guyyyyyys, Cara Maria's life is so haaaarrrrrddddd! Laurel takes up her cause and goes after Wes with a bottle of soda - but Tyler stops her from ruining the piano. Because we can't ruin the piano!!!! And LOL Laurel calls Paula 39 years old. I wonder if that's true. Either way, Paula starts crying and I start laughing.
Unfortunately, we can't just have fighting for an hour straight so we're interrupted by a Challenge: some crap about swinging from a helicopter above the water... whatever. BACK TO NAME CALLING AND SODA THROWING!
Winners: Evelyn and Paula. Jesus, again? Michael and Leroy. Well, those newbs skated into the finals, huh?
Losers: CT and Adam. And TJ demands a vote right away, so there's no time for everyone to deliberate and group-think. HAHA! Johnny and Tyler end up there. I hope CT murders them; they're babies. Tyler feels betrayyyyyed and gives Paula the kind of guilt trip I thought only my mother was capable of.
We don't get the Jungle til next week. Too bad, because CT is drunk, fired up, and ready.
They travel to this amazing villa in Argentina, and proceed to drunkenly tear it apart. Wes pours a 2-liter of Pepsi all over Cara Maria because Wes is 3. OMG, you guyyyyyys, Cara Maria's life is so haaaarrrrrddddd! Laurel takes up her cause and goes after Wes with a bottle of soda - but Tyler stops her from ruining the piano. Because we can't ruin the piano!!!! And LOL Laurel calls Paula 39 years old. I wonder if that's true. Either way, Paula starts crying and I start laughing.
Unfortunately, we can't just have fighting for an hour straight so we're interrupted by a Challenge: some crap about swinging from a helicopter above the water... whatever. BACK TO NAME CALLING AND SODA THROWING!
Winners: Evelyn and Paula. Jesus, again? Michael and Leroy. Well, those newbs skated into the finals, huh?
Losers: CT and Adam. And TJ demands a vote right away, so there's no time for everyone to deliberate and group-think. HAHA! Johnny and Tyler end up there. I hope CT murders them; they're babies. Tyler feels betrayyyyyed and gives Paula the kind of guilt trip I thought only my mother was capable of.
We don't get the Jungle til next week. Too bad, because CT is drunk, fired up, and ready.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)