Happy Anniversary

Nearly 3 years ago, I wrote this post about hating Phil Simms.  It was simple, yet powerful.  It continues to get comments randomly, including today.  God bless all the Phil Simms haters out there.  It's as true today as it ever was.  (It also features some mighty fine artwork.)

Nina Dobrev Is Hotter Than You

Nice try. Oh God I hate this bitch. For absolutely no reason.

No. No. NO!

Thanks to KP for the tip on Bear. Bear, people! BEAR! Even better - Bear Blu!!! Lets hope the kid looks like a lumberjack and is into motorcycles. He won't need a nickname.

It's a Boy for Alicia Silverstone

The actress and author, 34, welcomed her first child with husband Christopher Jarecki on Thursday, May 5, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Son Bear Blu Jarecki weighed in at 7 lbs., 15 oz.

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And then I had to read this one a couple times over the weekend to make sure I didn't have the gender wrong. This kid won't get picked on.

Nikki Cox & Jay Mohr Welcome a Boy

It's a happy Cinco de Mayo for Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox, who welcomed their first child together on Thursday, their rep tells PEOPLE.

The couple's baby boy, Meredith Daniel Mohr, weighed in at 6 lbs. 7 oz.

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NOOOOOOOOOOO

God, I hate this smug bitch. Thanks for guaranteeing I never watch The Today Show again.

Ann Curry is going to be replacing Meredith Vieira on The Today Show. It was an announcement that was expected, and it has been made official today. After five years, Vieira is leaving the popular morning show, and leaving her post to Curry, who has been an NBC correspondent for fourteen years.

Instead of hiring someone new, The Today Show is going to play musical chairs with their already talented reporters. "Natalie Morales, 38, is set to step into Ann's role, and MSNBC anchor Savannah Guthrie, 39, will be the 9 AM anchor," Hollywood Life reports.

On the plus side? Even more Brangelina coverage!

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WTF

Why is this bitch sucking on a pacifier? X?

I Told You Melissa Leo Sucks

If she wins in this dress, it's over.

Edited to add: It's over.

Mel Gibson's Finest Role

Well, here it is - the eagerly-anticipated audio. He just sounds like a nonsensical asshole. I'd love to see how he comes back from this. But then again, I still love Alec Baldwin.

Audio Tape of the Year

Forget Christian Bale's raveout or Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a pig. THIS is the tape I want to hear. Mark my words -- "I am going to come and burn the f**king house down... but you will blow me first." is going to be this year's "rude, thoughtless little pig."

In one of the most explosive, racist and vile outbursts by a celebrity ever caught on tape, Mel Gibson told the mother of his love child that the way she was dressed would get her "raped by a pack of n***ers," RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

It's a shocking and blockbuster development in the couple's bitter legal battle, and Mel's disgusting words are on audio tape. His racist, misogynist statement is one of the secrets lurking in his war with his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

RadarOnline.com has heard the tape, which also includes Mel telling Oksana he will burn down her home.

Drunken Mel previously shocked the world with his anti-Semetic comments when busted for DUI. Now, the new racist outburst has taken the Oscar winner to an even deeper low.

His outburst came during a series of explosive arguments with Oksana, mother of his infant daughter Lucia. They have been battling in court, with documents under seal, for the past several weeks.

And there is more than one disgusting outburst from Mel. RadarOnline.com has listened to the hate-fuelled rants the Braveheart star unleashed during fights with Oksana as their relationship unraveled.

"You're an embarrassment to me," Mel tells her at one point.

"You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault."

Mel's attorney told RadarOnline.com that he is no longer commenting on the case and said Mel's publicist is the only Mel official who will speak for him.

Mel's profane outbursts are littered with references to Oksana being a "whore" and "c**t".

In another tirade, Mel tells Oksana: "How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice."

He warns, "I am going to come and burn the f**king house down... but you will blow me first."

The emergence of the explicit tapes is a stunning development in the couple's bitter separation and court battle over custody of their young daughter.

RadarOnline.com first broke the story about how Mel, 54, and Oksana, 40, filed dueling restraining orders against each other under seal.

Published reports say Oksana is alleging Gibson punched her in the face twice during a fit of rage, giving her a concussion and knocking out two of her front teeth.

Gibson does not deny that they had a confrontation but has simply described it, through his lawyer, as a loud argument.

In a further outburst, Mel is heard telling her, "You're a bitch" to which Oksana insists, "I didn't do anything."

"Did so," Mel responds.

The tapes do not make it clear what the couple was arguing about.

But Mel tells Oksana, "Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... f**king fake... f**king fake.

"You are the most synthetic person... who the f*** are you?"

He also takes aim at Oksana's previous relationship with former James Bond star Timothy Dalton, with whom she has a 13-year-old son, Alexander.

A source close to the situation says Oksana claims she was forced to tape Mel after he made a series of death threats.

The source says she hopes the recordings will be admissible in any potential trial.

"Oksana's motivation for recording this was to show Mel how mean he was, and because she feared for her life," said the insider.

"She wanted to get evidence that he was dangerous and violent."

The source claims that Mel has heard two of the tapes.

Said the source, "Mel is doing everything he can to suppress this... they are the rantings of a mad man."

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Good Luck With That

So who's going to watch the new/old The Tonight Show? Anyone? Bueller? *crickets*

NBC and Conan O’Brien have reached a resolution of the issues surrounding O’Brien’s contract to host The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.

Under terms of an agreement that was signed earlier today, NBC and O’Brien will settle their contractual obligations and the network will release O’Brien from his contract, freeing him to pursue other opportunities after September 1, 2010.

O’Brien will make his final appearance as host of The Tonight Show on January 22.

NBC also confirmed that Jay Leno will return to host The Tonight Show on March 1 and Jimmy Fallon will stay in his 12:35 a.m. timeslot. Because no one cared about Jimmy Fallon.

Die Jay Leno and NBC

So... how many people will watch Jay Leno return and how much must it suck to have to go back to your old job? I don't blame Jay here, I blame NBC and the crappy decision-making. Let's hope Conan and his staff 1) get paid and 2) find a nice creative outlet for themselves.

Late-night funnyman Conan O'Brien's last night as host of "The Tonight Show" will likely be next Friday, allowing Jay Leno to reclaim his old time slot.

"Conan does not currently plan on doing any more new shows after next week,” a source told People magazine's Web site this afternoon.

TMZ.com reported today that Leno struck a deal with NBC to reclaim the 11:35 p.m. to 12:35 a.m. "Tonight Show" slot.

If Jan. 22 is O'Brien's final live broadcast, the show will have ended two weeks before NBC’s scheduled preemption for its 2010 Winter Olympics coverage.

O'Brien's departure means that Leno will return to "The Tonight Show" desk at 11:35 p.m. in a deal the long-time host finalized today with the Peacock network, TMZ.com reported.

Under the contract Leno had been working under, TMZ.com reported that he had been guaranteed the 10 p.m. hour. By moving Leno back to late-night, NBC was in breach of his contract and needed to negotiate a new deal.

NBC has declined comment.

The bombshell reports come two days after O'Brien released a statement saying that he would not go along with the network's plan for him to host a relocated "Tonight Show" at 12:05 a.m., following "The Jay Leno Show" at 11:35 p.m.

"I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is [The Tonight Show's] destruction," O'Brien had said in the statement.

On Wednesday night's show, O'Brien took a swipe at Leno, saying, "Hosting 'The Tonight Show' has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me -- and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life, unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too."

Network executives have been fighting a losing, two-front war since giving O'Brien the "Tonight" job.

Not only has Leno's 10 p.m. show been weak in the ratings, but CBS's "Late Show with David Letterman" has consistently been beating O'Brien.

In the 10 p.m. slot, NBC had nothing in development worth investing the millions it would take to rush to the air. So NBC pulled Leno, who replaced the legendary Johnny Carson, out of retirement and created a 10 p.m. "Tonight"-esque show to fill that slot without spending much money.

But "The Jay Leno Show" -- while profitable to NBC -- did not attract enough viewers to satisfy its affiliates, left holding the bag with an ineffective lead-in to their 11 p.m. newscasts.

O'Brien's departure could usher a move to Fox, although he has denied that he is in negotiations with them.

Source

The Japanese Always Have To Outdo Us

Thanks to Bobby Z for the holiday shopping tip. I present: the Japanese version of a Snuggie. It's a sleeping bag with legs. And no pee hole, as far as I can tell. It's actually worse than a Snuggie - shouldn't it have arms too? And if it did, wouldn't it then just be a snowsuit?

My feet are cold just looking at this thing....

I Work With Special People

This belongs on FAIL Blog.

This is what greeted me on the way into the building today. At first I smiled because the smiley face was cute. And then I laughed because these are not the kind of people I'd want to do "buisness" with.


Business FAIL.

Why Are Americans the Ugly Ones?

Americans have this reputation for being utter douchebags whilst traveling abroad, but check this dude out!!! Mike was afraid of him, because he's probably a Russian mobster, but that of course didn't stop me from joning on him the whole time. I probably have a hit out on me now.

He had his shirt off most of the time!! How gross is that? He had hairy man boobs and I wanted to puke!!! Plus he was wearing that horrid baby blue tracksuit that matched his mother's. Ugh.

Site Announcement

Those of you who know me know that it's been a rough couple of months for me. I feel so much better now, and I'm starting a new job Monday. I feel like I've matured emotionally and like I'm starting a new phase of my life. So after much deliberation, I'd like to make this announcement:

I am removing Perez Hilton from my Google Reader.

Shocked, no? Look, it was good, clean, harmless fun when he was just drawing jizz on people's faces. Then he took upon himself the duty of outing gay celebrities and things got weird. But now he whines and cries when he's punched by someone after he dropped "the F bomb" on them. He was the one who came down the hardest (rightfully so) on Isaiah Washington when he said the same word. Now this A-hole uses the word, gets punched, and acts as if he's been murdered and victimized. What a child.

Then yesterday, after Michael Jackson died, I was watching celebrity Twitters for some godforsaken reason and he was making it all about him and he was a giant A-hole. I just can't take it anymore. He makes me ill.

Bye bye, Perez. I can get my gossip elsewhere, where they do it funnier too.

In the meantime, check out this great parody from Breckin Meyer. And then read this great post about the situation. Perez wants to donate any money he receives from the lawsuit to the Matthew Shepard Foundation, but they won't take his money.

But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.
…we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people’s attention the consequences of hateful or intolerant language.”

HAHAHAHAHA!

Breckin Meyer Responds to Perez Hilton - watch more funny videos

(P.S.: Let me know if I miss any good goss, k?)

B&C Hero of the Week

I thought it was great when the Governor of South Carolina went off hiking the Appalachian Trail without cell phone contact. But no, that wasn't the real story. He was in Argentina getting laid. Even better! Affairs > hiking.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admitted Wednesday, amid speculation over his whereabouts for the last several days, that he has been engaged in an extramarital affair with an Argentinian woman.

"I've been unfaithful to my wife," the Republican governor told a news conference in Columbia, the state capital. "I developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina."

His voice choking at times, Sanford apologized to his wife and four sons, his staff and supporters, and said he would resign immediately as head of the Republican Governors Association. The affair was discovered five months ago, Sanford said.

The South Carolina governor had not been seen in public since June 18. When questioned, Sanford's staff had told media outlets that he was hiking in the Appalachian Trail. But Sanford was spotted Wednesday in Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, Georgia.

The South Carolina governor said he had been in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He said it was his fault for "shrouding this larger trip."

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It was over Father's Day too. Nice.

Jon: Free Man

That uppity bitch is finally gone. Good for you, Jon. Enjoy your freedom. And enjoy the child support payments.

After months of speculation, the 10-year marriage of Jon & Kate Plus Eight's stars Kate and Jon Gosselin appears to be coming to an end, a source close to the situation tells PEOPLE.

Documents to initiate a legal split were filed at the Bucks County Courthouse in Doylestown, Penn., Monday afternoon.

Fans who have watched the couple's popular TLC show – or read the voluminous coverage of the Gosselin marriage in the press – will hardly be surprised: The duo had long maintained a tense relationship, with Jon recently telling PEOPLE he wanted a less high-profile life, while Kate appeared to remain committed to their TV career.

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Blind Item

B&C has it on good authority that a certain warmed-over starlet is slaying her current TV project before it has even had the chance to start.

She sure knows how to hold a grudge - she got in a fight with the director and hasn't left her trailer since 9:30 AM.

B&C Hot Dude of the Week

Brooke Hogan is a dude, right? And she's 42, not 21, right? Yesterday someone asked me if I was a high school intern. Nice to know I look younger than this bitch.

Jack Bauer Does Not Negotiate With Fashion Designers

Look, if Jack did it, the guy deserved it. I sure hope this doesn't mess with his probation though.

Fashion designer Jack McCollough, who was allegedly headbutted by Kiefer Sutherland at a party in lower Manhattan early Tuesday morning, is slamming reports that he provoked the actor.

"Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly," a rep for McCollough, of the New York-based fashion empire Proenza Schouler, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities."

One report claims that McCollough bumped into fellow party guest Brooke Shields, prompting Sutherland to get physical with the designer. New York's Daily News reports that McCollough – a friend of Shields's – interrupted her and Sutherland while they were speaking outside the SoHo nightspot SubMercer and that Sutherland then allegedly headbutted McCollough after the two men exchanged words.

But one guest at the event tells PEOPLE that the altercation came as a surprise to bystanders. "Jack walked into the party and tried to order a drink, and then the next thing he knew, he got headbutted for no identifiable reason," the partygoer tells PEOPLE. "Jack did nothing other than walk into a party. He did not bump into Brooke. It's just puzzling.”

According to an NYPD spokesperson, the incident, which occurred around 2 a.m., is under investigation.

Sutherland's lawyer, Blair Berk, had no comment.

Smartest Man Ever

The new issue of Us Weekly has shocking, exclusive pictures of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad leaving a club at 2 a.m. -- with a mystery woman and without his wedding band.

Jon Gosselin arrived at the club at 11:20 p.m. and by 2 a.m. "could barely walk" as he exited the less-public back entrance of Legends Lounge -- near the family's $1.3-million home in Wernersville, Pennsylvania -- on April 18, a fellow partier tells Us Weekly.

While TLC had no comment on the story or the couple's marital status, Jon sent an emailed statement to Us.

"I went to Legends to speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car," he says. "Yes, I have female friends -- but that is all she is. I'm not going to end my friendships just because I'm on TV."

In February, the 32-year-old was spotted flirting with -- and even attempting to kiss -- coeds at Juniata College, multiple students confirm to Us Weekly. (He denied any wrongdoing.) He told one coed "he was getting divorced." In the May Ladies Home Journal, he says, "I always thought I would be, like, 54 years old and marry a 19-year-old or something."

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, JON!!