Present Day Off-Island Stuff: Ben is the one who asked for blood samples from Kate and Aaron, and apparently wants to take the kid away. I assume he just wants to put the fear into Kate that Aaron will be taken away. And hopefully force her back to The Island.
Sun is having Jack and/or Ben spied on. And she has a gun.
Sayid gets attacked in the hospital. Well, more like an attempted attack, as he quickly turns the tables and kicks the dude's ass. Duh.
Three Years Ago Island Stuff: Due to all the time travel, Charlotte is suffering from "really bad jet lag". The kind that makes you seize and hemorrhage. Yeah, that is really bad.
As The Gang makes their way through the jungle, they hear screaming. It's Claire giving birth to Aaron. Then there's another time shift and when they return to the beach, their camp is there. It's been raided and the people are gone, and there is a new boat on the beach, probably how the invaders arrived. As they paddle away in the boat, they are shot at by another boat, but escape from that via a conveniently-timed time shift. And now more of them are getting nosebleeds. Damned jet lag.
There is some French wreckage on the beach. And some French people out in the ocean on a raft. They come across a body floating on a piece of something -- and it's Jin. Yay Alive Jin! Unfortunately, the French include Rousseau - young Rousseau. So I guess Jin is traveling through time too, hopefully with the rest of The Gang.
04 February 2009
Fringe
Freak of the Week: We open with a plane and a dude having a nosebleed. Those two things are never good separately on this show, let alone together. The dude tells the flight attendants that he's, like, Hulking out or something, and to lock him in the bathroom and find him sedatives. In the bathroom, his teeth start falling out and huge porcupine spike things start coming out of his back. Then all of the sudden he bursts out of the door like a freaking Bigfoot or something. That was HELLA COOL!
The plane crashes, and The Gang finds the Bigfoot Thing's body. There is much nasty autopsy. Using John's shared memories, Olivia tracks down another dude who starts undergoing the same transformation.
Olivia treats The Tank like a Jacuzzi. Again with The Tank!? She goes in to try to pull out some key John Memories because he was part of a bioterrorist cell with these other guys. John interacts with her while she's in the memory, which is freaky and, according to Walter, not supposed to happen. John tells her that he was on a secret NSA task force along with the others, that they weren't the bad guys.
Olivia and Pacey go undercover as very, very fashionable bioweapon buyers. They look uber-hot doing it. And Pacey's good at lying, which I find hot. And in the end they catch the Big Bioterrorist Bad.
At the end, Olivia asks Walter to put her back in The Tank so she can try to find out the truth about John. HOLYCHRIST, GIRL! Enough with The Tank, you're gonna be a freaking LSD addict. Actually, that sounds good to me right about now. I want a Tank of my own. And a Walter and Pacey to put me in it!
So I guess we're supposed to believe, and Olivia seems to, that John was a Good Guy after all. I still don't buy it.
Next week: the return of the German Dr. Jones, who traveled from Germany to Massachusetts in one second flat! Yay! He's spooky.
The plane crashes, and The Gang finds the Bigfoot Thing's body. There is much nasty autopsy. Using John's shared memories, Olivia tracks down another dude who starts undergoing the same transformation.
Olivia treats The Tank like a Jacuzzi. Again with The Tank!? She goes in to try to pull out some key John Memories because he was part of a bioterrorist cell with these other guys. John interacts with her while she's in the memory, which is freaky and, according to Walter, not supposed to happen. John tells her that he was on a secret NSA task force along with the others, that they weren't the bad guys.
Olivia and Pacey go undercover as very, very fashionable bioweapon buyers. They look uber-hot doing it. And Pacey's good at lying, which I find hot. And in the end they catch the Big Bioterrorist Bad.
At the end, Olivia asks Walter to put her back in The Tank so she can try to find out the truth about John. HOLYCHRIST, GIRL! Enough with The Tank, you're gonna be a freaking LSD addict. Actually, that sounds good to me right about now. I want a Tank of my own. And a Walter and Pacey to put me in it!
So I guess we're supposed to believe, and Olivia seems to, that John was a Good Guy after all. I still don't buy it.
Next week: the return of the German Dr. Jones, who traveled from Germany to Massachusetts in one second flat! Yay! He's spooky.
02 February 2009
24 Pwns Heroes
Jack & Company follow the van containing the Prime Minister, who is brought to Big Bad Dubaku. They break into the building in kickass fashion, meaning black coats, gloves, backpacks, night vision, guns, and earpieces. The best part is that Bill - Mr. Desk Jockey - does it too! WOO!
There is a huge firefight, the PM is rescued, and Dubaku slips out, but the All-Powerful Device Thingy is destroyed. Well then, problem solved, show over.
Jack & Company head back to The Lair of Kicking Ass with the PM and his wife. They have the PM call the President, since they need help and can't trust anyone else. The President must really have a hard-on for this PM, because she agrees to a fast, private meeting at the White House.
Janeane Garofalo is the new Chloe and figures out that the insecticide plant in Ohio is the new target. Their computer system has already been taken over, so she works with the Plant Manager to prevent the tanks from rupturing. Of course said Plant Manager makes the Ultimate Sacrifice.
They really call the President's husband "The First Gentleman"? I guess it makes sense. If they called him that before, I missed it, because I snorted when they said it. The First Gentleman's drugs have worn off and he awakens to the reality of a dead girl and a dead Secret Service agent. Plus the Other Bad Secret Service Agent who nabs his ass.
Dubaku's riding the Metro. Man, I wonder how many Merchants of Death I rode next to on that thing. He's been behind this whole First Gentleman thing, and wants the Other Bad Secret Service Agent to bring him to him.
There is a huge firefight, the PM is rescued, and Dubaku slips out, but the All-Powerful Device Thingy is destroyed. Well then, problem solved, show over.
Jack & Company head back to The Lair of Kicking Ass with the PM and his wife. They have the PM call the President, since they need help and can't trust anyone else. The President must really have a hard-on for this PM, because she agrees to a fast, private meeting at the White House.
Janeane Garofalo is the new Chloe and figures out that the insecticide plant in Ohio is the new target. Their computer system has already been taken over, so she works with the Plant Manager to prevent the tanks from rupturing. Of course said Plant Manager makes the Ultimate Sacrifice.
They really call the President's husband "The First Gentleman"? I guess it makes sense. If they called him that before, I missed it, because I snorted when they said it. The First Gentleman's drugs have worn off and he awakens to the reality of a dead girl and a dead Secret Service agent. Plus the Other Bad Secret Service Agent who nabs his ass.
Dubaku's riding the Metro. Man, I wonder how many Merchants of Death I rode next to on that thing. He's been behind this whole First Gentleman thing, and wants the Other Bad Secret Service Agent to bring him to him.
Heroes Returns and I'm Confused
It feels like this show hasn't been on forever and I lost my zeal for it. I watched it before 24, betting 24 would be better - I save the best for last.
The government is rounding up people with powers, in a campaign headed by Nathan, in conjunction with Bennet.
Hiro is still power-less. Ando still has his power where he super-charges other powered people and Mohinder still has super-strength. Most importantly, Peter's emo bangs are back, and he's acting accordingly.
Why is Claire wearing so much makeup? She looks like the effing Joker.
Why does Matt live in Mohinder's father's apartment? He's like firmly established there. With that effing tortoise.
Sylar's in Baltimore! WOO! Sure, he goes there after I leave. He finds his daddy there. Only it's not his daddy. Jesus, he's had 100 fathers. The story this week is that he was adopted by his uncle. So he goes to see his real-real father who is a taxidermist, always a sign of sanity.
Rounded Up: Tracy, Mohinder, Hiro, Claire, Matt, Peter. They try to get Sylar at Daddy's house, but Sylar takes the whole team down, of course.
Nathan lets Claire go free, I guess out of Daddy Guilt. That was stupid of him. That bitch isn't going to keep her trap shut. It doesn't matter anyway because she hops on board the plane everyone is taken away in and stages a breakout. With bonus plane crash.
Suddenly Peter needs to touch people to get their powers? WHUT?
I feel oddly lost with this show. I heard the next few episodes are really bad and then it gets better when they bring the old writer back. We'll see....
The government is rounding up people with powers, in a campaign headed by Nathan, in conjunction with Bennet.
Hiro is still power-less. Ando still has his power where he super-charges other powered people and Mohinder still has super-strength. Most importantly, Peter's emo bangs are back, and he's acting accordingly.
Why is Claire wearing so much makeup? She looks like the effing Joker.
Why does Matt live in Mohinder's father's apartment? He's like firmly established there. With that effing tortoise.
Sylar's in Baltimore! WOO! Sure, he goes there after I leave. He finds his daddy there. Only it's not his daddy. Jesus, he's had 100 fathers. The story this week is that he was adopted by his uncle. So he goes to see his real-real father who is a taxidermist, always a sign of sanity.
Rounded Up: Tracy, Mohinder, Hiro, Claire, Matt, Peter. They try to get Sylar at Daddy's house, but Sylar takes the whole team down, of course.
Nathan lets Claire go free, I guess out of Daddy Guilt. That was stupid of him. That bitch isn't going to keep her trap shut. It doesn't matter anyway because she hops on board the plane everyone is taken away in and stages a breakout. With bonus plane crash.
Suddenly Peter needs to touch people to get their powers? WHUT?
I feel oddly lost with this show. I heard the next few episodes are really bad and then it gets better when they bring the old writer back. We'll see....
Other People Melting Down Makes Me Happy
WOW. I love a good meltdown. And OMFG, Christian Bale is going APESHIT in this audio clip! They were filming Terminator Salvation and the Director of Photography walked into the shot. And Patrick Bateman unloads on the dude.
It is good stuff - and loaded with curses! Click here.
It is good stuff - and loaded with curses! Click here.
01 February 2009
Battlestar Galactica
There was a nice little civil war shaping up on this week's episode. Gaeta and his merry band of mutineers break Zarek out of prison and off Galactica. There is violence against Cylons, and they lock up Anders, Sharon, and her baby.
When Lee tries to interfere, they threaten to kill him, but Starbuck shoots the bad guys. Nice. This is where the action really picked up. There's a mother-frakking mutiny in the CIC, with Gaeta removing Admiral Adama and arresting him for treason. Meanwhile, Lee and Starbuck make their way through the ship and all the gunfire. They get the President so she can address people and hopefully calm them all down.
Adama and Tigh kick the asses of the Marines leading them to the brig and hook up with Starbuck and Lee. They get the President off Galactica and then the rest of them stay on board to kick mutineer ass. Gaeta orders the President's Raptor shot out of the sky. OH HOLY CRAP!
The episode ends with Tigh and Adama facing down an invading squad of Marines, and certain death with a grenade, which I hope was just a flash bang grenade. Looks like it was, though the preview for next week said Tigh was dead and Adama's about to be airlocked.
Lots of kickass action in this one, and not too much of the usual depressing bollocks. Yay!
When Lee tries to interfere, they threaten to kill him, but Starbuck shoots the bad guys. Nice. This is where the action really picked up. There's a mother-frakking mutiny in the CIC, with Gaeta removing Admiral Adama and arresting him for treason. Meanwhile, Lee and Starbuck make their way through the ship and all the gunfire. They get the President so she can address people and hopefully calm them all down.
Adama and Tigh kick the asses of the Marines leading them to the brig and hook up with Starbuck and Lee. They get the President off Galactica and then the rest of them stay on board to kick mutineer ass. Gaeta orders the President's Raptor shot out of the sky. OH HOLY CRAP!
The episode ends with Tigh and Adama facing down an invading squad of Marines, and certain death with a grenade, which I hope was just a flash bang grenade. Looks like it was, though the preview for next week said Tigh was dead and Adama's about to be airlocked.
Lots of kickass action in this one, and not too much of the usual depressing bollocks. Yay!
29 January 2009
The Real World: Brooklyn
Ryan goes to a "nice party" in a fake mustache and like a 70s suit. He thinks he's funny. He doesn't amuse me. Poser.
Sarah's creepy, abusive (if wanting to share a sleeping bag is abusive, I don't know, that confused me) dad calls, and he wants to talk to her and calls her selfish for not talking to him. Ew. Then he calls again - and she answers the phone that second time. How about not answering the phone and screening your calls like you said you were going to?
JD's a mean drunk. Which I can empathize with, but I don't like. Can he just make out with a guy already!?
Other than all that, the big drama is that Devyn gets lost on the way to an audition, is late, and her resume smears. Wow.
Also, Chet is officially the World's Biggest Douchebag, continually talking about how sexually attracted that model is to him. Ugh. And then saying he likes to hang out with her because being with her gives him self-confidence. DOUCHE!
Next week we might get faux military flashback trauma drama? Great.
Sarah's creepy, abusive (if wanting to share a sleeping bag is abusive, I don't know, that confused me) dad calls, and he wants to talk to her and calls her selfish for not talking to him. Ew. Then he calls again - and she answers the phone that second time. How about not answering the phone and screening your calls like you said you were going to?
JD's a mean drunk. Which I can empathize with, but I don't like. Can he just make out with a guy already!?
Other than all that, the big drama is that Devyn gets lost on the way to an audition, is late, and her resume smears. Wow.
Also, Chet is officially the World's Biggest Douchebag, continually talking about how sexually attracted that model is to him. Ugh. And then saying he likes to hang out with her because being with her gives him self-confidence. DOUCHE!
Next week we might get faux military flashback trauma drama? Great.
28 January 2009
Lost
Flashback: Penny is having Desmond's baby. Yay Penny and Desmond! I love that no matter what, we get one happy ending on this show. Well, I guess that's subject to change with time travel, who knows. Anyway, she's having his baby - on their boat. With no modern medicine whatsoever. Crazy woman.
Present Day: Desmond tries to track down Jeremy Davies's mother, as JD had instructed him to in one of his time travels. He finds out she's in Los Angeles.
50 Years in the Past: Jeremy Davies, Miles, and Charlotte are captured by people with arrows and guns. The Others think that they are U.S. military sent to conduct hydrogen bomb tests. Jeremy Davies takes a look at the bomb they found. It's leaking and needs to be buried.
Locke, Sawyer, and Juliet find the camp where they're being held. One of the Others turns out to be the young version of Charles Widmore (Penny's father, the evil man behind this whole business, etc.).
They time jump again and then Charlotte starts seizing.
Most Important Bit of Information: DESMOND NAMED HIS SON CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! AFTER HIS FRIEND!!!! It's almost enough to melt my cold heart.
You know what this episode wasn't missing? Jack. And Jack and Kate.
Present Day: Desmond tries to track down Jeremy Davies's mother, as JD had instructed him to in one of his time travels. He finds out she's in Los Angeles.
50 Years in the Past: Jeremy Davies, Miles, and Charlotte are captured by people with arrows and guns. The Others think that they are U.S. military sent to conduct hydrogen bomb tests. Jeremy Davies takes a look at the bomb they found. It's leaking and needs to be buried.
Locke, Sawyer, and Juliet find the camp where they're being held. One of the Others turns out to be the young version of Charles Widmore (Penny's father, the evil man behind this whole business, etc.).
They time jump again and then Charlotte starts seizing.
Most Important Bit of Information: DESMOND NAMED HIS SON CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! AFTER HIS FRIEND!!!! It's almost enough to melt my cold heart.
You know what this episode wasn't missing? Jack. And Jack and Kate.
Snuggie Must Die
Thanks to loyal reader Kim for this video. OMG, I hate the Snuggie with a passion and this video sums up everything wrong with it and its commercial!
27 January 2009
Fringe: Computers Kill
Freak of the Week: People watch a video on the internet. Brains liquefy. I'm kind of freaked out to have my laptop on right now.
Long story short, they solve it. But the real deal from tonight: Chris Partlow! Chris Partlow from The Wire! Yay! I love to see those actors get work.
Walter's Quirk of the Week: He buys $2000 worth of baboon seminal fluid, but can't remember why.
And Pacey was extra cute tonight with the bitchiness and the drunken flirting. And of course with his love for Walter. Awwwwww.
Long story short, they solve it. But the real deal from tonight: Chris Partlow! Chris Partlow from The Wire! Yay! I love to see those actors get work.
Walter's Quirk of the Week: He buys $2000 worth of baboon seminal fluid, but can't remember why.
And Pacey was extra cute tonight with the bitchiness and the drunken flirting. And of course with his love for Walter. Awwwwww.
26 January 2009
24: Lots of CAPSLOCK Ahead
It's 1:00. Lunch time: over.
LARRY'S EYES ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER! I'm sorry, I know I say it every time but GODDAMN!!! I was clawing at my face having to look into those horrid, beady eyes. They drive me nuts and I can't pay attention to anything happening at the FBI now. I want him shot between the eyes, yet something tells me a bullet wouldn't fit between them. *rimshot*
Chloe and Bill show up to dig up Renee. She's not breathing. Yeah, no crap, she was freaking covered in plastic. Jack could have left her a breathing hole. Lame. Bill gives her a shot of adrenaline and all is well. But she has to "stay dead" or else the undercover operation will be outed.
OH MY GOD TONY NEEDS A HUG AND NEEDS ONE NOW AND I AM HERE TO GIVE IT TO HIM!!! Am I the only one who says "Yeah" along with Tony now? You just always know when they're coming. And tonight Jack seemed to want to steal Tony's thunder with his own "yeah"s.
David, the leader of Tony's crew and his new "BFF", takes Jack hostage and Tony's got a gun on them. Who will he choose? WELL HE CHOOSES HIS REAL BFF, JACK, DUH and shoots David in the neck. R.I.P. David. Tony's all conflicted and emo about it. Poor Tony.
Things heat up in the White House Subplot when the Big Bad calls up the President, tells her to look out her window, and collides two airplanes in midair. HOLY CRAP!!! I really like this President. She kicks ass. I don't understand why her advisors want to freaking negotiate with terrorists. THE UNITED STATES DOES NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!!! Stand your ground, Madame President.
The Bad Secret Service guy slices and dices the President's dead son's fiancee right in front of the paralyzed-but-still-alert First Gentleman. Nice. Also nice? The Secret Service guy is wearing those gloves that horse inseminators wear. (I watch a lot of Dirty Jobs.) R.I.P. President's Dead Son's Fiancee.
The First Gentleman gets un-paralyzed enough to kick the Secret Service guy's ass as he's about to hang him, toppling them both over a railing. R.I.P. Bad Secret Service Guy.
Jack's plan is to still hand over the Prime Minister in order to get to the Big Bad. Chloe hooks him up with transmitters. The exchange is made - the PM for diamonds - and Sniper!Jack saves Tony's life when he's about to be killed. Time to move out and follow the target!
Next Terrorist Target: a chemical plant in some dump town in Ohio. You can have it. It's OHIO!
LARRY'S EYES ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER! I'm sorry, I know I say it every time but GODDAMN!!! I was clawing at my face having to look into those horrid, beady eyes. They drive me nuts and I can't pay attention to anything happening at the FBI now. I want him shot between the eyes, yet something tells me a bullet wouldn't fit between them. *rimshot*
Chloe and Bill show up to dig up Renee. She's not breathing. Yeah, no crap, she was freaking covered in plastic. Jack could have left her a breathing hole. Lame. Bill gives her a shot of adrenaline and all is well. But she has to "stay dead" or else the undercover operation will be outed.
OH MY GOD TONY NEEDS A HUG AND NEEDS ONE NOW AND I AM HERE TO GIVE IT TO HIM!!! Am I the only one who says "Yeah" along with Tony now? You just always know when they're coming. And tonight Jack seemed to want to steal Tony's thunder with his own "yeah"s.
David, the leader of Tony's crew and his new "BFF", takes Jack hostage and Tony's got a gun on them. Who will he choose? WELL HE CHOOSES HIS REAL BFF, JACK, DUH and shoots David in the neck. R.I.P. David. Tony's all conflicted and emo about it. Poor Tony.
Things heat up in the White House Subplot when the Big Bad calls up the President, tells her to look out her window, and collides two airplanes in midair. HOLY CRAP!!! I really like this President. She kicks ass. I don't understand why her advisors want to freaking negotiate with terrorists. THE UNITED STATES DOES NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!!! Stand your ground, Madame President.
The Bad Secret Service guy slices and dices the President's dead son's fiancee right in front of the paralyzed-but-still-alert First Gentleman. Nice. Also nice? The Secret Service guy is wearing those gloves that horse inseminators wear. (I watch a lot of Dirty Jobs.) R.I.P. President's Dead Son's Fiancee.
The First Gentleman gets un-paralyzed enough to kick the Secret Service guy's ass as he's about to hang him, toppling them both over a railing. R.I.P. Bad Secret Service Guy.
Jack's plan is to still hand over the Prime Minister in order to get to the Big Bad. Chloe hooks him up with transmitters. The exchange is made - the PM for diamonds - and Sniper!Jack saves Tony's life when he's about to be killed. Time to move out and follow the target!
Next Terrorist Target: a chemical plant in some dump town in Ohio. You can have it. It's OHIO!
25 January 2009
The Best Movie of 2008
I was feeling all depressed this morning, and bored out of my mind, which doesn't help. I mean, how the hell did Meet the Press end up on my TV? David Gregory =/= Tim Russert.
Luckily, I did some channel searching and came across Step Up 2: The Streets.
I'm a sucker for a dance movie. And this movie has the usual rag-tag group of kids who you wouldn't expect to be dancers but - surprise! - they end up being good. But what really sets this one apart from the others? The final dance sequence takes place at night in the rain. IN THE RAIN!
This movie definitely made me feel better. And made me miss So You Think You Can Dance. Now I'm ready to take it to the streets, y'all!
24 January 2009
Gran Torino
Talk about an Oscar snub. Gran Torino is all about Clint Eastwood. He gives a great performance as an old curmudgeonly racist who comes to befriend his Hmong neighbors. He's kickass, tough, and bitter, though maybe the character is too much of a cliche. I mean at some point you know exactly which racial epithet he's going to throw out and how much of a curmudgeon he's going to be. But he's still central to the film, and to be honest some of those Asian actors are crap so they really make him look good.
Something odd bothered me - he never uses the n-word. I mean, he uses every name in the book except that - it's conspicuous in its absence, as if they clearly set out NOT to use it. I've heard complaints about the ending, but I guessed what would happen so it didn't bother me. I suppose there could have been some more violent ass-kicking to make it truly satisfying. It's a bit of a politically correct ending, which is saying a lot for a film where every other word out of the main character's mouth is racist.
The Real World: Brooklyn
Ryan's not on The Real World to further his music career. Not at all. Oh look, they conveniently got into Pete Wentz's bar. Oh look, there's a record producer who can hook them up with an agency and a producer. It seemed like the producer was more interested in putting the stones to Baya, and Ryan was cockblocking him. P.S.: Ryan's music sucks. And he's not funny. At all. He does a song about wanting to be a tampon. 'Nough said. The agents meet with the 2 of them, plus Chet, who wants to be a host. Blandest. Host. Ever. And now Baya wants to be a DJ. Christ. And I used to like her, but the fact that she finds Ryan so amusing makes me hate her.
At least the producer has some taste and tells Ryan to keep working. Thank god. He feels like an ass for playing The Tampon Song. HAHAHAHAHAHA Way to blow it, loser.
I hate Chet. He has a really high self-image that is incongruent to who he actually is. I hate people with high self-esteem who don't deserve it. He'd date that model. Sure. He'd "give her two weeks". Ugh.
Kat's concerned because her boyfriend isn't talking to her. Hmmm. Maybe he just realized that all of his buddies will now know he's dating a tranny. Just a thought. He's suddenly second-guessing signing that release.
MORE J.D. PLEASE!
At least the producer has some taste and tells Ryan to keep working. Thank god. He feels like an ass for playing The Tampon Song. HAHAHAHAHAHA Way to blow it, loser.
I hate Chet. He has a really high self-image that is incongruent to who he actually is. I hate people with high self-esteem who don't deserve it. He'd date that model. Sure. He'd "give her two weeks". Ugh.
Kat's concerned because her boyfriend isn't talking to her. Hmmm. Maybe he just realized that all of his buddies will now know he's dating a tranny. Just a thought. He's suddenly second-guessing signing that release.
MORE J.D. PLEASE!
23 January 2009
Battlestar Galactica
Six and Tigh are acting oddly like they're a happy, newly-pregnant couple. How weird. And how do two Cylons make a baby anyway?
The humans are pretty accepting of these new Cylons, and they want their technology. The Cylons want to be full citizens of the Colonial Fleet, a place in the government and all. Most people, led by VP Zarek, think this is B.S., and so there is much mutiny on ships not named Galactica. Gaeta's doing a lot of troop-rallying too and partners up with Zarek.
The Chief's fat half-breed kid is pissing blood. Doc tells the Chief that the baby isn't actually his. Cally had him do a paternity test because she wasn't sure... and the kid's no longer a half-breed. Hot Dog is the father, so of course the Chief finds him and beats him up. Because it's his fault, not that whore you married, right?
President Roslin throws out all of her cancer drugs. You know, it's pretty amazing that they still have all those pharmaceuticals in the first place -- is wasting them really a good idea? Well it all works out well for her, as Adama bangs it out real good. I don't know if this was supposed to be their first time together or what, but it made me happy. Those old geezers deserve it.
The humans are pretty accepting of these new Cylons, and they want their technology. The Cylons want to be full citizens of the Colonial Fleet, a place in the government and all. Most people, led by VP Zarek, think this is B.S., and so there is much mutiny on ships not named Galactica. Gaeta's doing a lot of troop-rallying too and partners up with Zarek.
The Chief's fat half-breed kid is pissing blood. Doc tells the Chief that the baby isn't actually his. Cally had him do a paternity test because she wasn't sure... and the kid's no longer a half-breed. Hot Dog is the father, so of course the Chief finds him and beats him up. Because it's his fault, not that whore you married, right?
President Roslin throws out all of her cancer drugs. You know, it's pretty amazing that they still have all those pharmaceuticals in the first place -- is wasting them really a good idea? Well it all works out well for her, as Adama bangs it out real good. I don't know if this was supposed to be their first time together or what, but it made me happy. Those old geezers deserve it.
22 January 2009
The Only Oscar Nomination That Matters
Best Supporting Actor: Robert Downey, Jr. - TROPIC THUNDER
Because he's the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
It really is excellent that they nominated a comedic performance. And also kind of ironic, given the character he played. Other nonsense here.
21 January 2009
Lost Returns
All the shows are back now, son!
Some present-day-but-really-3-years-from-where-we-left-off stuff happens to the survivors. Sayid kicks MAJOR ass when people are sent to capture him and Hurley. I mean, he kills one dude using a dishwasher. Loaded with knives. Awesome.
Jack shaves his beard and loads Locke's body into a van with Ben, who tells him to pack his S, cuz they're getting the band back together and going back to the Island.
Desmond and Penny are married. Awwwwwwww.
Three Years Ago: The people on the Island find themselves on an empty Island. Everything was put back in time - the camp is gone, and the exploded station is whole again. Either the Island is moving or the people are moving. Time travel - not confusing at all!
Locke, however, isn't with the group. He's alone somewhere on the Island, and witnesses the plane crash of Eko's brother. He gets shot in the leg by Ethan. As Ethan's about to kill him, the Island time travels again. To the future, because Eko's brother is a skeleton once more. Richard finds Locke, treats his bullet wound, tells him he is time travelling and that he has to bring the Oceanic Six back to the Island. By dying. And then Locke goes back to the past again. Oy.
The main group of Islanders are on the beach at night when they are attacked by flaming arrows. Flaming. Arrows. Sawyer and Juliet are captured and I think their attackers are people from the past, but it was hard to tell. Locke ends up saving them and killing the guys.
We got 2 hours of weird time jumping and loads of set-up, but I think it was a good way to pick the show back up. Interesting and just-confusing-enough.
Some present-day-but-really-3-years-from-where-we-left-off stuff happens to the survivors. Sayid kicks MAJOR ass when people are sent to capture him and Hurley. I mean, he kills one dude using a dishwasher. Loaded with knives. Awesome.
Jack shaves his beard and loads Locke's body into a van with Ben, who tells him to pack his S, cuz they're getting the band back together and going back to the Island.
Desmond and Penny are married. Awwwwwwww.
Three Years Ago: The people on the Island find themselves on an empty Island. Everything was put back in time - the camp is gone, and the exploded station is whole again. Either the Island is moving or the people are moving. Time travel - not confusing at all!
Locke, however, isn't with the group. He's alone somewhere on the Island, and witnesses the plane crash of Eko's brother. He gets shot in the leg by Ethan. As Ethan's about to kill him, the Island time travels again. To the future, because Eko's brother is a skeleton once more. Richard finds Locke, treats his bullet wound, tells him he is time travelling and that he has to bring the Oceanic Six back to the Island. By dying. And then Locke goes back to the past again. Oy.
The main group of Islanders are on the beach at night when they are attacked by flaming arrows. Flaming. Arrows. Sawyer and Juliet are captured and I think their attackers are people from the past, but it was hard to tell. Locke ends up saving them and killing the guys.
We got 2 hours of weird time jumping and loads of set-up, but I think it was a good way to pick the show back up. Interesting and just-confusing-enough.
20 January 2009
Fringe Returns
Oh how I missed Pacey and the Gang. I rewatched the season while it was off the air and now I love this show even more.
When we last were here, Olivia was kidnapped by the gang that teleported that guy from Germany to Boston. And I forgot that the lead Bad Guy who kidnapped Olivia works for the FBI. They give her a spinal tap, but it doesn't prevent her from kicking like 86 dudes' asses and escaping. Olivia kicks ass!
Unfortunately, she's picked up by a guy named Harris from Homeland Security. He has been charged with reviewing Fringe Division, and Olivia once prosecuted him for sexual assault (his convictions were overturned). He makes threats and is generally creepy-cool-bad. He tells her not to investigate her own abduction, and then lets her go.
Freak of the Week: A college professor collapses and dies, and a giant freaking spiny slug thing slithers out of his body. Ew. Walter examines it, and I'm sick of looking at it. It's gross. It's a super-sized version of the common cold virus. I never want to get sick again.
Olivia recognizes the shoes on the Bad FBI Dude (Mitchell) as the shoes of her kidnapper. She tells Charlie and he enlists Pacey's help, since they have to investigate him on the down low. Pacey taps Mitchell's phone in time to hear him order his wife to kill Olivia, who is at their house snooping.
MASSIVE GIRLFIGHT!!!! Winner: Olivia, who is a better shot than the wife. Bullet through the brain wins every time.
They lure Mitchell out, Olivia pistol whips him in the face (NICE!), and they arrest him. Under questioning, he claims that he "saved" Olivia and she has no idea what she's done.
No resolution there, of course, but wow Olivia kicked major ass in this episode.
Walter's Craving of the Week: cheesesteaks. I like how Walter thinks, as ever.
When we last were here, Olivia was kidnapped by the gang that teleported that guy from Germany to Boston. And I forgot that the lead Bad Guy who kidnapped Olivia works for the FBI. They give her a spinal tap, but it doesn't prevent her from kicking like 86 dudes' asses and escaping. Olivia kicks ass!
Unfortunately, she's picked up by a guy named Harris from Homeland Security. He has been charged with reviewing Fringe Division, and Olivia once prosecuted him for sexual assault (his convictions were overturned). He makes threats and is generally creepy-cool-bad. He tells her not to investigate her own abduction, and then lets her go.
Freak of the Week: A college professor collapses and dies, and a giant freaking spiny slug thing slithers out of his body. Ew. Walter examines it, and I'm sick of looking at it. It's gross. It's a super-sized version of the common cold virus. I never want to get sick again.
Olivia recognizes the shoes on the Bad FBI Dude (Mitchell) as the shoes of her kidnapper. She tells Charlie and he enlists Pacey's help, since they have to investigate him on the down low. Pacey taps Mitchell's phone in time to hear him order his wife to kill Olivia, who is at their house snooping.
MASSIVE GIRLFIGHT!!!! Winner: Olivia, who is a better shot than the wife. Bullet through the brain wins every time.
They lure Mitchell out, Olivia pistol whips him in the face (NICE!), and they arrest him. Under questioning, he claims that he "saved" Olivia and she has no idea what she's done.
No resolution there, of course, but wow Olivia kicked major ass in this episode.
Walter's Craving of the Week: cheesesteaks. I like how Walter thinks, as ever.
Happy Inauguration Day!
What a great, historic day. I wish I could be there historically freezing my ass off.
The new First Couple.
My First Couple.
The new First Couple.
My First Couple.
19 January 2009
24: Viewer Discretion is Advised
The Prime Minister and his wife are holed up in his Safe Room. Jack pulls a MacGruber - we'll gas them out! Using basic household products! Don't try this at home, kids.
Surprise - the wife pussed out and opened the door. Who says women can handle pain? Renee shows up to the house just as The Gang loads the PM and his wife into a spiffy yellow van. (White vans are for amateurs.) Aaaand she gets caught. God, these women are the suck tonight!
Emerson wants to kill Renee for meddling, and orders Jack to do it. I want to kill her for second-guessing Jack and whining excessively. Jack gives her a nice flesh wound instead, but has to bury her body. He covers her in plastic - now correct me if I'm wrong, but she can't breathe through that, right? Why no struggling to breathe? That made no sense. Also, she got the Silent Clock. But I don't think she's actually dead. The Silent Clock means nothing anymore.
I think that the sole purpose of the President's husband's subplot is to set the scenes outside of Washington monuments. That way they can prove that we're not in L.A. anymore. I don't pay attention to what they say because they're boring. Instead I try to figure out where they are in DC.
Of course, just as I say that, something actually happens in the subplot. The Secret Service agent poisons the First Husband and confesses to killing his son.
I called that FBI dude banging that FBI chick. I may not know their names, but I totally called it the second he walked over to her desk. He may be cheating, but he's not completely heartless - he got his wife's plane landed early after all. What more does that bitch want?
I really like Janeane Garofalo's matchy-matchy purple shirt and glasses. I want those glasses. She doesn't suck.
Surprise - the wife pussed out and opened the door. Who says women can handle pain? Renee shows up to the house just as The Gang loads the PM and his wife into a spiffy yellow van. (White vans are for amateurs.) Aaaand she gets caught. God, these women are the suck tonight!
Emerson wants to kill Renee for meddling, and orders Jack to do it. I want to kill her for second-guessing Jack and whining excessively. Jack gives her a nice flesh wound instead, but has to bury her body. He covers her in plastic - now correct me if I'm wrong, but she can't breathe through that, right? Why no struggling to breathe? That made no sense. Also, she got the Silent Clock. But I don't think she's actually dead. The Silent Clock means nothing anymore.
I think that the sole purpose of the President's husband's subplot is to set the scenes outside of Washington monuments. That way they can prove that we're not in L.A. anymore. I don't pay attention to what they say because they're boring. Instead I try to figure out where they are in DC.
Of course, just as I say that, something actually happens in the subplot. The Secret Service agent poisons the First Husband and confesses to killing his son.
I called that FBI dude banging that FBI chick. I may not know their names, but I totally called it the second he walked over to her desk. He may be cheating, but he's not completely heartless - he got his wife's plane landed early after all. What more does that bitch want?
I really like Janeane Garofalo's matchy-matchy purple shirt and glasses. I want those glasses. She doesn't suck.
18 January 2009
DAGGER!
The bad news. Thanks for the season, thanks for a good game in Miami, but ultimately thanks for nothing.
The good news. The Ravens loss was clearly a karmic slap for my excessive rejoicing at Philly's defeat.
The yummy news.
The good news. The Ravens loss was clearly a karmic slap for my excessive rejoicing at Philly's defeat.
The yummy news.
The Real World: Brooklyn
Who's the one dude? Scott? I didn't even notice his existence until he was in the "Next Week On" part. Too many people.
For a straight Mormon virgin, Chet sure is hella obsessed with JD's penis size. I don't think he's gay, I think he's just a creepy a-hole. An unfunny, creepy a-hole. An unfunny, creepy a-hole who wears eyeliner.
How can the roommates praise Ryan for being open-minded when a drag queen kisses him (for $100) - and he proceeds to make faces and scrub out his mouth? Loser.
Baya gets into the dance conservatory she wants to get into. And then turns it down. Because it's going to be too much work. Ah, a girl after my own heart. Lazy bitch.
For a straight Mormon virgin, Chet sure is hella obsessed with JD's penis size. I don't think he's gay, I think he's just a creepy a-hole. An unfunny, creepy a-hole. An unfunny, creepy a-hole who wears eyeliner.
How can the roommates praise Ryan for being open-minded when a drag queen kisses him (for $100) - and he proceeds to make faces and scrub out his mouth? Loser.
Baya gets into the dance conservatory she wants to get into. And then turns it down. Because it's going to be too much work. Ah, a girl after my own heart. Lazy bitch.
EPIC BATTLE TODAY
Sure, the Ravens are playing the Steelers today for a spot in the Super Bowl. But there's an even bigger battle to be fought, and it's on the sidelines.
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXY COACHES!!!
Check 'em out, folks. In a battle like this, we all win.
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXY COACHES!!!
Check 'em out, folks. In a battle like this, we all win.
17 January 2009
Slumdog Millionaire
I finally got out to the movies, after 2 months!! There are quite a few movies that I want to see, but I knew that this one wouldn't just be entertaining, it would also be feel-good.
And it's a great movie. I love how the story is told. If you don't know, the main character is a contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. The police investigate him, because there's just no way that this uneducated kid from the slums can be answering these questions correctly, doing what doctors and lawyers could not do. As he watches the show back with the police, he explains how he knows the answers, and we get to see the flashbacks. Random pieces of this kid's tough life gave him the knowledge. So it's really interesting how the story is told through the questions, answers, his interrogation, and the flashbacks.
The conclusion is very satisfying, the performances are great, and it's exciting. I suppose it was the best "serious movie" of last year.
16 January 2009
Battlestar Galactica Returns
January snuck up on me. I kind of slept on this show returning.
No signs of human life on Planet Earth, and not much in the way of plant life either. Earth was nuked about 2000 years ago. Everyone's a little upset about it, especially President Roslin. And Dee, who kills herself over it. R.I.P. Dee.
They excavate the planet, and find the remains of the 13th Tribe -- and they were Cylons, not humans. Dun dun dun. Starbuck finds the crashed remains of her ship -- with her dead body in it. DUN DUN DUN!! That's freaky and cool. She burns the body, and no one but Leoben knows about it.
Adama and Tigh have this vicious, awesome confrontation. I was giddy from it! Lots of drinking and frakking and Adama begging Tigh to kill him.
The Final Cylon is revealed (already?) -- and it's Ellen, Saul's ex-wife, who is only his ex-wife because he, you know, killed her. Meh, I don't know what to think about that. I figured the Final Cylon would be a side character. But then what does this make Starbuck?
All I know is, these 10 episodes are going to be hella depressing, aren't they?
No signs of human life on Planet Earth, and not much in the way of plant life either. Earth was nuked about 2000 years ago. Everyone's a little upset about it, especially President Roslin. And Dee, who kills herself over it. R.I.P. Dee.
They excavate the planet, and find the remains of the 13th Tribe -- and they were Cylons, not humans. Dun dun dun. Starbuck finds the crashed remains of her ship -- with her dead body in it. DUN DUN DUN!! That's freaky and cool. She burns the body, and no one but Leoben knows about it.
Adama and Tigh have this vicious, awesome confrontation. I was giddy from it! Lots of drinking and frakking and Adama begging Tigh to kill him.
The Final Cylon is revealed (already?) -- and it's Ellen, Saul's ex-wife, who is only his ex-wife because he, you know, killed her. Meh, I don't know what to think about that. I figured the Final Cylon would be a side character. But then what does this make Starbuck?
All I know is, these 10 episodes are going to be hella depressing, aren't they?
13 January 2009
You Lose, Afflecks
A week after their second daughter's birth, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have announced her name, Garner's reps tell PEOPLE exclusively.
It is Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck.
OK, so I totally called the flower thing, and even said Rose. Go me. But Seraphina!? Just no. Sara, Sera, Seraphina as a middle name, sure. Nice try guys, now you're not the awesome, normal couple I thought you were.
Best. Video. Ever.
A compilation of one Mr. Tony Almeida. Love it!
Remember that classic moment when Mason mocked Tony's voice? R.I.P. George Mason.
Remember that classic moment when Mason mocked Tony's voice? R.I.P. George Mason.
The End of an Era
Prison Break has been canceled. Put out of its misery way past its time.
Thank god because now I don't have to waste an hour every week.
Thank god because now I don't have to waste an hour every week.
12 January 2009
24 Kicks Ass Again
No way does Tony freaking work for the Butcher of Sengala. No effing way. Is he working for like a Terrorists Consultants Group? That's what it looks like. I can't believe he'd actually work for that guy. But he claims to be all about the cash.
I'd like to say "Hi" to Tony's boobies.
Jack's interrogation of Tony involves lots of whispering, threats, and WALL SLAMMING! YES! Line of the Day: Tony: "Every second you help the government, you're spitting on Teri's grave!" OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!! UNLEASH THE FURY!!!! (That's where the wall slamming comes in.)
Tony whispers a code to Jack that leads Jack to call a number, which Bill answers. BILL MOTHERLOVIN' BUCHANAN!!! YES! I KNEW TONY WAS DOING SOMETHING GOOD! And Chloe's involved too! YAYYYYYYY! The Gang's all back together and Bill has a beard this time so he's even more kickass!!!
The Gang is working outside of the government because government officials are working with the Senegal butcher dude. Well working outside of the government makes it hard to prove your case, doesn't it? Nothing can be easy in 24-Land.
So Jack has to break Tony out of FBI custody. He chokes the bitch out, takes her gun and badge, and gets his boy. SO EXCITING!!!! And the music! God, the MUSIC!!!!
They escape in typical Crazy Jack manner (including nose-diving a car off of a parking garage) and meet up with Bill. The Gang's hideout is uber cool. I love the walls!
So it turns out that at first Tony was really working for the bad guys - for 3 years! But naturally my good-hearted boy turned it around. And now the 3 of them are working together. And only the 3 of them. 3 people against the entire federal government? I like those odds.
Tony goes back under deep cover - and brings Jack with him. To Georgetown! Woot! Tony, Jack, and Tony's boss break into an apartment to kidnap the former Prime Minister of Sengala. But the PM locks himself into a panic room.
As usual, I completely ignore all other subplots. But Miss FBI got all torture-y. Guess someone learned The Way of the Bauer really quickly. And God, Larry's eyes are so close together. He needs to die soon, because I can't look at him.
I'd like to say "Hi" to Tony's boobies.
Jack's interrogation of Tony involves lots of whispering, threats, and WALL SLAMMING! YES! Line of the Day: Tony: "Every second you help the government, you're spitting on Teri's grave!" OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!! UNLEASH THE FURY!!!! (That's where the wall slamming comes in.)
Tony whispers a code to Jack that leads Jack to call a number, which Bill answers. BILL MOTHERLOVIN' BUCHANAN!!! YES! I KNEW TONY WAS DOING SOMETHING GOOD! And Chloe's involved too! YAYYYYYYY! The Gang's all back together and Bill has a beard this time so he's even more kickass!!!
The Gang is working outside of the government because government officials are working with the Senegal butcher dude. Well working outside of the government makes it hard to prove your case, doesn't it? Nothing can be easy in 24-Land.
So Jack has to break Tony out of FBI custody. He chokes the bitch out, takes her gun and badge, and gets his boy. SO EXCITING!!!! And the music! God, the MUSIC!!!!
They escape in typical Crazy Jack manner (including nose-diving a car off of a parking garage) and meet up with Bill. The Gang's hideout is uber cool. I love the walls!
So it turns out that at first Tony was really working for the bad guys - for 3 years! But naturally my good-hearted boy turned it around. And now the 3 of them are working together. And only the 3 of them. 3 people against the entire federal government? I like those odds.
Tony goes back under deep cover - and brings Jack with him. To Georgetown! Woot! Tony, Jack, and Tony's boss break into an apartment to kidnap the former Prime Minister of Sengala. But the PM locks himself into a panic room.
As usual, I completely ignore all other subplots. But Miss FBI got all torture-y. Guess someone learned The Way of the Bauer really quickly. And God, Larry's eyes are so close together. He needs to die soon, because I can't look at him.
11 January 2009
24 Is Back; 2009 Officially Rules
It has been. So. Long.
We start with a kickass daytime, traffic-accident kidnapping.
Jack Bauer doesn't need counsel when he's answering questions at a Senate hearing. Counsel is for pussies. Hey sorry, Senator, sometimes torture happens. Deal. Jack bitches at the Senator and then is taken away by the FBI, who need him, presumably for those torture skills.
The guy who was kidnapped is a Homeland Security engineer, the kidnappers want to get through some kind of major government firewall, blah blah blah... TONY! TONY'S BACK! He was revived right after Jack left him, and a different body was buried in his grave. Wow, they went so far as to bury a different body? Why would someone do that? And will they ever explain that?
Poor Jack feels so betrayed that his BFF didn't tell him he was alive... and he doesn't want to believe Tony's gone bad either. Believe it, Jack. Tony has a scar and he's wearing a black leather jacket now. He's bad.
Anyway, Tony is heading this crew of baddies. And the FBI keeps referring to them as a "crew". I don't like the use of that word. The crew takes over Air Traffic Control and causes a near-crash at JFK airport. The fact that Tony didn't let the planes actually crash: Clue No. 1 he's not really bad. I hope.
Jack thinks there's a mole in the FBI. Of course. Now that CTU has disbanded, the moles have to find employment elsewhere. He's right (of course) and in the end he figures out where Tony is, and shows up. And epic Jack and Tony fight results. EPIC!
Seems the Big Bad behind Tony's crew is seeking vengeance for the death of his brother, killed in that whole Sengala thing from the TV movie I guess. Bad guys on this show always have rooms with huge screens displaying maps. This guy's maps are green.
I like the new President (though I largely ignore her dead son/war subplot so far) and I really like Janeane Garofalo. I don't like the main FBI dude (Larry?), because his eyes are too close together. He's gross.
These 2 hours flew by. And I wonder if maybe Tony really is bad after all. You never know, this show could change its mind after 5 weeks.
It was great, and there's more tomorrow. And we haven't even gotten Chloe and Bill yet!
We start with a kickass daytime, traffic-accident kidnapping.
Jack Bauer doesn't need counsel when he's answering questions at a Senate hearing. Counsel is for pussies. Hey sorry, Senator, sometimes torture happens. Deal. Jack bitches at the Senator and then is taken away by the FBI, who need him, presumably for those torture skills.
The guy who was kidnapped is a Homeland Security engineer, the kidnappers want to get through some kind of major government firewall, blah blah blah... TONY! TONY'S BACK! He was revived right after Jack left him, and a different body was buried in his grave. Wow, they went so far as to bury a different body? Why would someone do that? And will they ever explain that?
Poor Jack feels so betrayed that his BFF didn't tell him he was alive... and he doesn't want to believe Tony's gone bad either. Believe it, Jack. Tony has a scar and he's wearing a black leather jacket now. He's bad.
Anyway, Tony is heading this crew of baddies. And the FBI keeps referring to them as a "crew". I don't like the use of that word. The crew takes over Air Traffic Control and causes a near-crash at JFK airport. The fact that Tony didn't let the planes actually crash: Clue No. 1 he's not really bad. I hope.
Jack thinks there's a mole in the FBI. Of course. Now that CTU has disbanded, the moles have to find employment elsewhere. He's right (of course) and in the end he figures out where Tony is, and shows up. And epic Jack and Tony fight results. EPIC!
Seems the Big Bad behind Tony's crew is seeking vengeance for the death of his brother, killed in that whole Sengala thing from the TV movie I guess. Bad guys on this show always have rooms with huge screens displaying maps. This guy's maps are green.
I like the new President (though I largely ignore her dead son/war subplot so far) and I really like Janeane Garofalo. I don't like the main FBI dude (Larry?), because his eyes are too close together. He's gross.
These 2 hours flew by. And I wonder if maybe Tony really is bad after all. You never know, this show could change its mind after 5 weeks.
It was great, and there's more tomorrow. And we haven't even gotten Chloe and Bill yet!
Nice Cross-Promotion, FOX
This is The Observer from Fringe standing on the sidelines of the Eagles/Giants game, right? I'm not seeing things?
Awesome.
The Real World: Brooklyn
Kim forced me to watch this show. What convinced me? "There's a hot gay dude." I'm there. Sad thing is, I kinda liked the show!
Ryan. Guitar-playing Pennsylvanians with excellent gaydar represent.
Katelynn. Post-op trannies who got their surgery done in Thailand(!) represent.
Chet. "Metrosexual" Mormon virgins with homemade pink collars represent.
Devyn. Cute-ass big-titted little Miss Missouris represent.
Baya. White girl dancers with quirky names represent.
Sarah. Adorable tattooed "weird girls" represent.
JD. HOT ASS GAY GUYS who train dolphins represent.
Scott. Lame-ass meatheads with crappy New England accents represent.
I know they're all thinking WTH is Katelynn doing there - cuz she's not your typical "attractive" Real World type. And LOL that half of them figured it out.
I love Sarah and JD desperately. Now I'm going to have to watch the show just for them, and wait for their inevitable fall from grace.
One complaint: They didn't all get smashed their first night together? WTH kind of lame Real World is this!?
Best Cringe Moment: Ryan referring to Kat as "it." DOUCHE!
So they actually all seem pretty decent. The chicks seem cool and way too normal. So we'll see.
Ryan. Guitar-playing Pennsylvanians with excellent gaydar represent.
Katelynn. Post-op trannies who got their surgery done in Thailand(!) represent.
Chet. "Metrosexual" Mormon virgins with homemade pink collars represent.
Devyn. Cute-ass big-titted little Miss Missouris represent.
Baya. White girl dancers with quirky names represent.
Sarah. Adorable tattooed "weird girls" represent.
JD. HOT ASS GAY GUYS who train dolphins represent.
Scott. Lame-ass meatheads with crappy New England accents represent.
I know they're all thinking WTH is Katelynn doing there - cuz she's not your typical "attractive" Real World type. And LOL that half of them figured it out.
I love Sarah and JD desperately. Now I'm going to have to watch the show just for them, and wait for their inevitable fall from grace.
One complaint: They didn't all get smashed their first night together? WTH kind of lame Real World is this!?
Best Cringe Moment: Ryan referring to Kat as "it." DOUCHE!
So they actually all seem pretty decent. The chicks seem cool and way too normal. So we'll see.
10 January 2009
OH SHIT SON!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!!!!! THAT GAME WAS TOO EFFING CLOSE BUT SO EFFING GOOD!
I was laughing/crying/biting myself through that last quarter.
A.
May.
Zing.
09 January 2009
08 January 2009
B&C Douchechill of the Week
Seriously, what the hell DID Nikki Cox do to her face? When I saw those lips a few months back, I thought maybe the swelling would go down or something. No.
Runner up: Jewel. She's never gonna fix the wonky teeth, huh?
06 January 2009
Bets On Names?
Jennifer Garner and husband Ben Affleck have welcomed their second daughter, PEOPLE confirms exclusively. The actress's rep says: "Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck gave birth to a healthy baby girl."
The baby was born Tuesday in Los Angeles. No other details were immediately available. Garner and Affleck, both 36, are also parents to daughter Violet, 3.
I'm going to say they go with something classic again. Hopefully nothing hokey like continuing the flower theme (Rose, Tulip, Iris) or the color theme (Blue?). I'll just throw out Claire as a guess.
05 January 2009
The O'Connells Bat 500 on Names
Rebecca Romijn and husband Jerry O’Connell welcomed two healthy daughters — Dolly Rebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip — on December 28.I approve of Charlie 100%. I mean, you could have done Charlotte and just used the nickname, but I still approve. Dolly? No. It only reminds me of Dolly Madison, Dolly Parton (which was their intent), and Dolly the Cloned Sheep. Although 3 names are unnecessary, I like that they are flowers. Cute. And at least the first name isn't Tulip.
04 January 2009
DO IT FOR ME, GUYS!
As my friend Chris said, I'll be in the "Make a Wish" section. Pleeeeeeeeease! I need to have 2009 off to a good start!
GO RAVENS!!!!
02 January 2009
Woah That Sucks
Jesus, I'm blown away that the kid was 16! I remember when he was born.
source
Rand Memorial Hospital in the Bahamas tells TMZ the son of John Travolta died today.
There have been reports that Jett was autistic, though Travolta has denied it, saying he suffers from Kawasaki Syndrome, a condition which often leads to heart disease.
Travolta's attorney Michael Ossi says Jett suffered a seizure at his family's vacation home at the Old Bahama Bay Hotel on Grand Bahama Island. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful and he died on scene.
source
01 January 2009
HAPPY 2009!
It's gotta be better than 2008, right? RIGHT!?
And this movie had better not disappoint...
(Click the picture for bigger muscles.)
And this movie had better not disappoint...
(Click the picture for bigger muscles.)
31 December 2008
Baloney & Cereal Oh-Eight Sillies: TV
Now television I can do. Television can be viewed while you sit disabled on a sofa for 2 months. Thank god for television.
Best TV of 2008
1. Chuck - Because I watch or DVR 4 shows on Monday nights. And this is always the show that I watch last on Tuesday evenings - because it is the one that is guaranteed to be good. And it makes me happy. I can't think of a single character I don't love to pieces.
2. Fringe - I've been rewatching the season on Hulu this week. God it's good. And although the "freaks of the week" and the larger conspiracy are interesting things, it's the characters that really make this show. Mostly Pacey and his father. They are so well played, I just want to hug the TV screen.
3. Pushing Daisies - So sad that this show is canceled. It's another just plain feel-good show. It's witty and wry, with a fairy-tale feel, the dialogue is so smart and quick, and again these characters are fun. Mostly Emerson Cod. Oh how I will miss seeing him every week.
4. 30 Rock - The goddamned funniest show on television. Only this show would make a Lemon Party reference (Google if you must; NSFW). Liz Lemon is the woman I want to be, she's perfect in every way. Alec Baldwin is amazing. Again, just great dialogue and characters.
5. The Office - A goddamned close second. Toby came back. Yay!
6. So You Think You Can Dance - I need to get my leg fixed so that I can dance along when this show returns this summer. It's infectious and has people with real talent (!) and I love it.
7. Heroes - For all of its faults, it's still a fun show with great characters. I pretty much am committed to drinking the Kool-Aid with this show. I don't over-think, I just go with the flow.
8. Lost - Definitely looking forward to its imminent return. The freighter characters they added this year were actually interesting! And of course it was one hell of a cliffhanger.
Worst TV of 2008
American Idol and Big Brother. Never again.
Best TV of 2008
1. Chuck - Because I watch or DVR 4 shows on Monday nights. And this is always the show that I watch last on Tuesday evenings - because it is the one that is guaranteed to be good. And it makes me happy. I can't think of a single character I don't love to pieces.
2. Fringe - I've been rewatching the season on Hulu this week. God it's good. And although the "freaks of the week" and the larger conspiracy are interesting things, it's the characters that really make this show. Mostly Pacey and his father. They are so well played, I just want to hug the TV screen.
3. Pushing Daisies - So sad that this show is canceled. It's another just plain feel-good show. It's witty and wry, with a fairy-tale feel, the dialogue is so smart and quick, and again these characters are fun. Mostly Emerson Cod. Oh how I will miss seeing him every week.
4. 30 Rock - The goddamned funniest show on television. Only this show would make a Lemon Party reference (Google if you must; NSFW). Liz Lemon is the woman I want to be, she's perfect in every way. Alec Baldwin is amazing. Again, just great dialogue and characters.
5. The Office - A goddamned close second. Toby came back. Yay!
6. So You Think You Can Dance - I need to get my leg fixed so that I can dance along when this show returns this summer. It's infectious and has people with real talent (!) and I love it.
7. Heroes - For all of its faults, it's still a fun show with great characters. I pretty much am committed to drinking the Kool-Aid with this show. I don't over-think, I just go with the flow.
8. Lost - Definitely looking forward to its imminent return. The freighter characters they added this year were actually interesting! And of course it was one hell of a cliffhanger.
Worst TV of 2008
American Idol and Big Brother. Never again.
Baloney & Cereal Oh-Eight Sillies: Movies
I feel like any Top Movies of the Year List I do is woefully inadequate because I've missed so much these past two months. There are a handful of movies that I'm sure are great, but I can't get out to the theater to watch them. So I'll just have to make do with the ones I did see. In order to make it 8 for oh-eight, I'll do Top Five and Bottom Three.
Best Movies of 2008
1. Iron Man - I'm actually putting this movie ahead of the next, though it was very close. Robert Downey, Jr. is so amazing, he grounds the movie in such realism that you totally buy everything that happens. Love it.
2. The Dark Knight - This ended up in second place because of glaring flaws that couldn't be overlooked. The who-will-blow-up-the-other-boat scene -- it just rings false to me and bothers me more the more I watch it. Christian Bale's gravelly, unnecessary whisper. But those are small things when considering the big picture - and the Joker, Two-Face, and Commissioner Gordon.
3. Tropic Thunder - Hilarious. And for as good as Robert Downey, Jr. is (once again), it's Jack Black who steals the movie. And dammit, if it isn't the only Tom Cruise movie I have ever or will ever like!
4. Burn After Reading - Funny, quirky, a great return to Fargo form for the Coen Brothers. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are hysterical, the situations and characters are absurd, and it had me laughing even hours later.
5. Step-Brothers - Apparently, I really kept things light this year. All of the serious dramas come out at the end of the year, so maybe that's why I didn't see many. This movie is hilarious and destined to be a comedy classic, and I really just have one word to say: balls.
Worst Movies of 2008
1. The Happening - No words for how disappointing this was. Ridiculous, pointless -- oh look, I found two words!
2. Semi-Pro - Again, a disappointment. Whereas Step-Brothers is a classic Will Ferrell film, this one is just plain unfunny.
3. Max Payne - Disappointed yet again! Damn these marketing folks for making movies look good with their fancy trailers, music, guns, and biceps. Boring and dull.
Best Movies of 2008
1. Iron Man - I'm actually putting this movie ahead of the next, though it was very close. Robert Downey, Jr. is so amazing, he grounds the movie in such realism that you totally buy everything that happens. Love it.
2. The Dark Knight - This ended up in second place because of glaring flaws that couldn't be overlooked. The who-will-blow-up-the-other-boat scene -- it just rings false to me and bothers me more the more I watch it. Christian Bale's gravelly, unnecessary whisper. But those are small things when considering the big picture - and the Joker, Two-Face, and Commissioner Gordon.
3. Tropic Thunder - Hilarious. And for as good as Robert Downey, Jr. is (once again), it's Jack Black who steals the movie. And dammit, if it isn't the only Tom Cruise movie I have ever or will ever like!
4. Burn After Reading - Funny, quirky, a great return to Fargo form for the Coen Brothers. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are hysterical, the situations and characters are absurd, and it had me laughing even hours later.
5. Step-Brothers - Apparently, I really kept things light this year. All of the serious dramas come out at the end of the year, so maybe that's why I didn't see many. This movie is hilarious and destined to be a comedy classic, and I really just have one word to say: balls.
Worst Movies of 2008
1. The Happening - No words for how disappointing this was. Ridiculous, pointless -- oh look, I found two words!
2. Semi-Pro - Again, a disappointment. Whereas Step-Brothers is a classic Will Ferrell film, this one is just plain unfunny.
3. Max Payne - Disappointed yet again! Damn these marketing folks for making movies look good with their fancy trailers, music, guns, and biceps. Boring and dull.
29 December 2008
Up Yours, Life!!
I'm going to the game! I'm renting a wheelchair and going to the game!
Now I need purple tinsel for my RoboLeg....
Now I need purple tinsel for my RoboLeg....
28 December 2008
The Biggest Dagger in the History of Daggers
GO RAVENS! I mean seriously. The Ravens made the playoffs! Awesome! Tony Romo was practically crying because the Eagles handed him his ass! Awesome!
Next week: the Ravens play in Miami. NOT AWESOME!!! I'm disabled!!! I can't go!!! Do they have handicapped tickets!?
25 December 2008
Vote!
Be sure to vote for your favorite Christmas movie in my poll! These are your only choices. They're all classics as far as I'm concerned.
RESULTS:
The Ref: 2
Home Alone: 1
Christmas Vacation: 7
Elf: 3
Well, there's no accounting for taste. You're wrong. The correct answer is The Ref.
Merry Christmas From Florida
Where Mike had to do most of the cooking, but I totally helped.
And RoboLeg got in the holiday spirit.
Menu: Mimosas, Ham with pineapple chutney, Cranberry goat cheese parcels, Mini vegetable and cheese frittatas, Grilled vegetable salad, and Cinnamon rolls.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!
And RoboLeg got in the holiday spirit.
Menu: Mimosas, Ham with pineapple chutney, Cranberry goat cheese parcels, Mini vegetable and cheese frittatas, Grilled vegetable salad, and Cinnamon rolls.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!
24 December 2008
22 December 2008
Prison Break
While Mondays usually mean 4 shows being taped or watched, tonight there was only one. And unfortunately it has to be Prison Break.
Linc, Gretchen, T-Bag, and Michael Rapaport are in Miami to try to get the computer card that can save the world or whatever. Mahone pops by to join in for some reason too. There is much scheming and secretive meeting, and Gretchen gets shot.
Michael is being held in a house and is told that his mother is alive (no one on this show ever stays dead) and working for The Company. The Company wants him to work for them, and is like brainwashing him and chemically lobotomizing him or something. But Michael rigs some nonsense and escapes. He does a LOT of running for someone who just had brain surgery yet shows no outward signs. Sara shows up and grabs Michael, after the Bald Bad Dude's daughter told her where he was.
I thought Kathleen Quinlan was a real actress. What's she doing on this show playing Michael's mother? Michael's mother who appears to be behind all this computer chip stealing business.
Only 6 more episodes left (maybe forever), and it's not back til the Spring.
Linc, Gretchen, T-Bag, and Michael Rapaport are in Miami to try to get the computer card that can save the world or whatever. Mahone pops by to join in for some reason too. There is much scheming and secretive meeting, and Gretchen gets shot.
Michael is being held in a house and is told that his mother is alive (no one on this show ever stays dead) and working for The Company. The Company wants him to work for them, and is like brainwashing him and chemically lobotomizing him or something. But Michael rigs some nonsense and escapes. He does a LOT of running for someone who just had brain surgery yet shows no outward signs. Sara shows up and grabs Michael, after the Bald Bad Dude's daughter told her where he was.
I thought Kathleen Quinlan was a real actress. What's she doing on this show playing Michael's mother? Michael's mother who appears to be behind all this computer chip stealing business.
Only 6 more episodes left (maybe forever), and it's not back til the Spring.
21 December 2008
I Think This Says It All
THAT RAVENS WIN WAS AMAZING LAST NIGHT!!! THANKS FOR THE EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT, RAVENS!
20 December 2008
Birthday FAIL
I went to Chick-Fil-A for my birthday lunch (birthday's tomorrow, but they're closed on Sundays) so I could have some waffle fries and a peppermint chocolate milkshake.
No peppermint chocolate milkshakes.
Dagger.
Thankfully, the No. 2 Seed, Arby's, had a mint chocolate shake. Which was good, even if it was an unnatural shade of green.
F. U. Chick-Fil-A. F. U.
(Also, since where is there that second "c" in the name? I had no idea.)
16 December 2008
Prison Break
Denise Crosby's operating on Michael Scofield. And she looks Old. As. Balls.
He has convenient flashbacks and a visit from dead Westmoreland during surgery. Thanks for reminding me how good this show used to be. Oh to have Season 1 and Fox River back!!
Michael survives the surgery, though during it he was injected with something weird which I'm sure will come into play at some point.
Lincoln uses pliers to pull out T-Bag's teeth until he tells him where Gretchen is. Christ, Lincoln, YOU ROCK! Linc and Sucre head to the exchange point where Gretchen and Michael Rapaport await the buyer. The buyer steals Scylla after a shootout where everyone is a horrible shot despite most of them being trained government agents.
Mahone escapes his transport and runs through the woods. Agent Lang lets him escape. Of course she does. True love forever!
Speaking of true love, Sucre drops out of the Gang. Adios, Papi, don't go away forever por favor!
Also, Scylla apparently holds the secrets to harnessing solar energy. I'm not kidding. Like, at all.
He has convenient flashbacks and a visit from dead Westmoreland during surgery. Thanks for reminding me how good this show used to be. Oh to have Season 1 and Fox River back!!
Michael survives the surgery, though during it he was injected with something weird which I'm sure will come into play at some point.
Lincoln uses pliers to pull out T-Bag's teeth until he tells him where Gretchen is. Christ, Lincoln, YOU ROCK! Linc and Sucre head to the exchange point where Gretchen and Michael Rapaport await the buyer. The buyer steals Scylla after a shootout where everyone is a horrible shot despite most of them being trained government agents.
Mahone escapes his transport and runs through the woods. Agent Lang lets him escape. Of course she does. True love forever!
Speaking of true love, Sucre drops out of the Gang. Adios, Papi, don't go away forever por favor!
Also, Scylla apparently holds the secrets to harnessing solar energy. I'm not kidding. Like, at all.
Merry Christmas From Me
Don't say I never gave you anything.
Zach Galifianakis is my hero. Here are 3 short episodes of his timeless interview series, Between Two Ferns.
Michael Cera
Jimmy Kimmel
and finally John Hamm, who is my newest comic hero. And the last minute or so is PRICELESS!!
Zach Galifianakis is my hero. Here are 3 short episodes of his timeless interview series, Between Two Ferns.
Michael Cera
Jimmy Kimmel
and finally John Hamm, who is my newest comic hero. And the last minute or so is PRICELESS!!
15 December 2008
Heroes
Mohinder decides to try to save his scaly ass by injecting himself - again! - with the formula. He's interrupted by Knox and Flint who start trashing the lab, with Peter joining in on the fun. And Daphne also speeds in to steal the formula. Which Ando decides to inject into himself to get powers. Enough with the self-medicating!
Ando doesn't get the hoped-for power of time travel, but rather some red lightning that acts as a power super-charger. Which somehow allows him to take Daphne back through time to save Hiro and bring him back to the present.
Sylar traps Meredith, Angela, Bennet, and Claire at Primatech. Bennet unleashes some bad guys in order to catch Sylar. Instead, Sylar kills them all, plus makes Meredith lose control of her fire ability and traps Bennet in a room with her. Claire throws herself through the glass and saves Daddy. R.I.P. Mommy, who ends up dying in her own flames, as Primatech burns to the ground.
R.I.P. Knox, whom Tracy freezes as he's fighting Nathan. In the midst of destroying the lab, Peter injects himself with the formula, gets his powers back, and flies Nathan out of there before it explodes. R.I.P. Flint?
Claire stabs Sylar in the back of the neck, in the spot that is guaranteed to kill him. But we all know he's not dead.
And so ends Volume Three. At the start of Volume Four, Worf is President and agrees to help Nathan hunt down the Heroes.
Tune in come February, when the show tries to save itself. I gotta say, "Fugitives" looks pretty cool.
Ando doesn't get the hoped-for power of time travel, but rather some red lightning that acts as a power super-charger. Which somehow allows him to take Daphne back through time to save Hiro and bring him back to the present.
Sylar traps Meredith, Angela, Bennet, and Claire at Primatech. Bennet unleashes some bad guys in order to catch Sylar. Instead, Sylar kills them all, plus makes Meredith lose control of her fire ability and traps Bennet in a room with her. Claire throws herself through the glass and saves Daddy. R.I.P. Mommy, who ends up dying in her own flames, as Primatech burns to the ground.
R.I.P. Knox, whom Tracy freezes as he's fighting Nathan. In the midst of destroying the lab, Peter injects himself with the formula, gets his powers back, and flies Nathan out of there before it explodes. R.I.P. Flint?
Claire stabs Sylar in the back of the neck, in the spot that is guaranteed to kill him. But we all know he's not dead.
And so ends Volume Three. At the start of Volume Four, Worf is President and agrees to help Nathan hunt down the Heroes.
Tune in come February, when the show tries to save itself. I gotta say, "Fugitives" looks pretty cool.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Sarah travels to a UFO Convention and meets up with a dude posing as a chick that Mike totally called was a dude. Mike knows his trannies. The Man Lady claims to have parts of a UFO, which Sarah thinks are really Terminator parts I guess. Sarah sees one of the UFOs. I don't know what's happening here.
We find out who John's little girlfriend Riley really is. Or will be, I guess, since she's from The Future. She came through to the Present with David Silver's Aussie girlfriend. Her mission: to keep John away from "her". That's vague.
I know this show isn't called The David Silver Chronicles, but COME ON!!!
We find out who John's little girlfriend Riley really is. Or will be, I guess, since she's from The Future. She came through to the Present with David Silver's Aussie girlfriend. Her mission: to keep John away from "her". That's vague.
I know this show isn't called The David Silver Chronicles, but COME ON!!!
Wolverine Trailer
The tag line for this movie should be "Witness the biceps" not "Witness the origin." Cuz for real - the man's arms are criminal. I actually think we saw better footage at Comic-Con, but the trailer's still pretty good.
13 December 2008
B&C Duh of the Week
I was off the internet for 2 days due to Vicodin-induced vision problems. And come back to 410 items in my Google Reader. Of those, only 2 things stood out to me.
1. Tara Reid is in rehab, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
No S Sherlock.
This filled me with joy. JOY! 1. I hate this bitch. 2. I hated her bragging about how awesome her relationship was and how it was such a whirlwind romance. 3. I love that it was her husband who filed against her. 4. I hope she dies alone.
Yeah, I hate Kate Walsh for no particular reason at all.
1. Tara Reid is in rehab, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
No S Sherlock.
2. ET breaks news that Private Practice star Kate Walsh's husband Alex Young has filed for divorce from the actress. ET was first to obtain the divorce filing.
Reps for the pair tell ET, "Papers have been filed to amicably end the marriage of executive Alex Young and actress Kate Walsh. The couple remain on friendly terms and sincerely hope the media will respect their privacy during this difficult time."
In divorce papers, Young cites irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split. The date of separation is listed as November 22, 2008, just before the Thanksgiving holiday.
Kate and Alex have been married since September of 2007. The couple got engaged in May 2007 after a whirlwind courtship.
This filled me with joy. JOY! 1. I hate this bitch. 2. I hated her bragging about how awesome her relationship was and how it was such a whirlwind romance. 3. I love that it was her husband who filed against her. 4. I hope she dies alone.
Yeah, I hate Kate Walsh for no particular reason at all.
10 December 2008
09 December 2008
Prison Break
Linc totally pwns Michael Rapaport. Rapaport's all, It wasn't personal, it's business, come on, I'll let you meet the buyer.
T Bag doesn't kill a bible salesman, even though he thinks he's a Company agent. It was a crazy tense scene where he was going to kill him, it was awesome. And then he ended up being a Company agent after all, and pwned T Bag. That was cool.
Michael uses hair spray, a lighter, pipes, and duct tape to make a gun. I'm not kidding. It shoots tear gas canisters.
There was loads of punching and shooting, as The Gang tried to doublecross Rapaport and The Company caught up with them as well. And then there were the nosebleeds, as Michael's tumor caught up with him. He passes out and The Company picks him up.
Mahone meets with his old friend Kickass Agent Lang. He needs her to get him access to the Attorney General. But she ends up betraying him and having him locked back up. DAGGER MAHONE!!!!
Lincoln shows up at The Company to get his brother back. They say they will operate on his tumor in exchange for the computer chip thingy. The General gives Lincoln a file labeled "Tombstone II" - a sequel to the movie, perhaps?
T Bag doesn't kill a bible salesman, even though he thinks he's a Company agent. It was a crazy tense scene where he was going to kill him, it was awesome. And then he ended up being a Company agent after all, and pwned T Bag. That was cool.
Michael uses hair spray, a lighter, pipes, and duct tape to make a gun. I'm not kidding. It shoots tear gas canisters.
There was loads of punching and shooting, as The Gang tried to doublecross Rapaport and The Company caught up with them as well. And then there were the nosebleeds, as Michael's tumor caught up with him. He passes out and The Company picks him up.
Mahone meets with his old friend Kickass Agent Lang. He needs her to get him access to the Attorney General. But she ends up betraying him and having him locked back up. DAGGER MAHONE!!!!
Lincoln shows up at The Company to get his brother back. They say they will operate on his tumor in exchange for the computer chip thingy. The General gives Lincoln a file labeled "Tombstone II" - a sequel to the movie, perhaps?
Terminator: Salvation Trailer
Sure, it's half-ass quality. Sure, it has Japanese subtitles. I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET! Especially since I can't hit the theater this weekend to see this trailer (or the Wolverine trailer).
08 December 2008
Heroes
In their little trip to the past, Hiro and Claire discover that Hiro's mother had the ability to heal others. And Claire decides to prevent the Company from making Baby Claire the Catalyst.
Hiro has a sweet reunion with his dying mother, and she heals his amnesia. Claire also hangs out with her mom in the past, and even changes her own diaper. Now that's effing creepy. In the end, Hiro ends up being the Catalyst. Until Arthur pops in and steals it from him, along with his power, leaving him stranded in the past, literally clinging to a flagpole.
Elle is really dead. I was holding out hope that she wasn't, but nope - she's dead - and Sylar sets fire to her body on the beach. Where'd he get the convenient lighter fluid? Maybe it's one of his powers. Or the kind of thing that washes up on the beaches in California. Working off of Elle's cell phone, Sylar tracks down a chick who is a human lie detector, and slices her head open. Back to the old Sylar!
Nathan has decided to take over Pineheart from Papa, and they are working with the Department of Defense to make superpowered soldiers. Nothing can go wrong with that, right?
Arthur transfers The Catalyst into the formula and now they have some delicious red superpowered Kool-Aid. One of the soldiers is injected and becomes superstrong.
Angela orders Peter to kill his father. He shoots him right through the head. But Sylar comes in and stops the bullet. He asks Arthur if he's really his father. Human Lie Detector says no. Bullet - reactivated. R.I.P. Arthur Petrelli and your kickass Chicago accent. Thanks for the Kool-Aid.
Hiro has a sweet reunion with his dying mother, and she heals his amnesia. Claire also hangs out with her mom in the past, and even changes her own diaper. Now that's effing creepy. In the end, Hiro ends up being the Catalyst. Until Arthur pops in and steals it from him, along with his power, leaving him stranded in the past, literally clinging to a flagpole.
Elle is really dead. I was holding out hope that she wasn't, but nope - she's dead - and Sylar sets fire to her body on the beach. Where'd he get the convenient lighter fluid? Maybe it's one of his powers. Or the kind of thing that washes up on the beaches in California. Working off of Elle's cell phone, Sylar tracks down a chick who is a human lie detector, and slices her head open. Back to the old Sylar!
Nathan has decided to take over Pineheart from Papa, and they are working with the Department of Defense to make superpowered soldiers. Nothing can go wrong with that, right?
Arthur transfers The Catalyst into the formula and now they have some delicious red superpowered Kool-Aid. One of the soldiers is injected and becomes superstrong.
Angela orders Peter to kill his father. He shoots him right through the head. But Sylar comes in and stops the bullet. He asks Arthur if he's really his father. Human Lie Detector says no. Bullet - reactivated. R.I.P. Arthur Petrelli and your kickass Chicago accent. Thanks for the Kool-Aid.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
At the start of the episode, Sarah sends David Silver to help a muy pregnant woman who has been shot. And then we get a flashback to 6 months ago when Sarah and Cameron saved the woman and her family from the Terminators. In turn, David Silver has a flashforward to the teenaged daughter being a doctor who saves his life in the future.
So the episode goes back and forth between past, present, and future. This show tends to do that kind of unusual storytelling a lot - and it's effective. I really like when the show goes into the future because David Silver is a badass and the end of the world is cool and destruction is kickass.
The woman dies giving birth. The baby ends up being a girl David Silver meets in the future who has an immunity to a virus and saves mankind or some such (in partnership with her doctor sister).
You know what this episode wasn't missing? John Connor. Which is to say, he wasn't in the episode at all, but I didn't miss him.
So the episode goes back and forth between past, present, and future. This show tends to do that kind of unusual storytelling a lot - and it's effective. I really like when the show goes into the future because David Silver is a badass and the end of the world is cool and destruction is kickass.
The woman dies giving birth. The baby ends up being a girl David Silver meets in the future who has an immunity to a virus and saves mankind or some such (in partnership with her doctor sister).
You know what this episode wasn't missing? John Connor. Which is to say, he wasn't in the episode at all, but I didn't miss him.
07 December 2008
B&C Impressions of the Week
Mike loves to make fun of me on a daily basis. He always starts by imitating me walking through Walgreens after the midnight emergency room visit.
And this is how he claims I walk now. Sure, it's easier now, but I'm not THAT good now!
And this is how he claims I walk now. Sure, it's easier now, but I'm not THAT good now!
05 December 2008
OJ Sentenced
OJ GETS 15 YEARS!!!
This is the perfect time to bring out one of my favorite holiday pictures.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, OJ!!!
My Pathetic Existence
Also, it should be illegal for Godiva to send a freaking catalog to the home of a sofa-ridden person. I'm suing.
I WANT ONE!
No, I don't read Martha Stewart's blog. I just ended up on it somehow.
I WANT THIS PUPPY AND I WANT IT TO STAY A PUPPY FOREVER!!!!!
More pics here
02 December 2008
Fringe
Freak of the Week: Bank robbers rig a contraption that allows them to walk through walls to get into the safety deposit box room. One of them gets stuck in the wall on the way back out. Oops.
Turns out Olivia knows the dude killed in the wall. Or really, her Dead Boyfriend's memories know him. Their memories are combining in her head. Nice.
Turns out the safety deposit boxes they've been stealing were rented by Walter over 20 years ago. He just can't remember what was in them or why he rented them. I LOVE WHEN WALTER'S ALL CONFUDDLED AND THEN DRUGGED UP!!!
Turns out what they were stealing were pieces of a teleportation machine that Walter built. Yes, a teleportation machine. Once it's assembled, the robbers use it to teleport that German prisoner dude from a couple weeks back. It works! They move him from the German prison to a field near Boston. And they kidnap Olivia.
TURNS OUT I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! AND IT'S NOT COMING BACK UNTIL JANUARY!!!!! NO!!!
Turns out Olivia knows the dude killed in the wall. Or really, her Dead Boyfriend's memories know him. Their memories are combining in her head. Nice.
Turns out the safety deposit boxes they've been stealing were rented by Walter over 20 years ago. He just can't remember what was in them or why he rented them. I LOVE WHEN WALTER'S ALL CONFUDDLED AND THEN DRUGGED UP!!!
Turns out what they were stealing were pieces of a teleportation machine that Walter built. Yes, a teleportation machine. Once it's assembled, the robbers use it to teleport that German prisoner dude from a couple weeks back. It works! They move him from the German prison to a field near Boston. And they kidnap Olivia.
TURNS OUT I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! AND IT'S NOT COMING BACK UNTIL JANUARY!!!!! NO!!!
Prison Break
In tonight's episode, Michael Rapaport double-crossed The Gang and now they're pissed.
I love that Gretchen always has perfect red lips and perfect red nails. Makes her even more badass.
I love that The Feds always wear suits. Undercover sneak attacks be damned. The Feds capture Linc and end up offering The Gang a deal. Another effing deal. Homeland Security determined they're telling the truth, and that Rapaport screwed them. But they need them to testify against him.
Meanwhile, Rapaport forces Gretchen to work with him to try to sell The Computer Chip of Awesomeness. But he can't sell it - because it's not complete. Michael took a piece of it off before he turned it over.
So Michael shows up to the warehouse where they're holding Linc to strike their deal. But it's another double-cross. Or something. I can't keep track - maybe it's a quadruple-cross? Cuz The Homeland Security Dude goes to shoot The Brothers, but then Another Dude shoots That Dude to take The Brothers to the Bald Bad Dude. But Sucre busts in and then Lincoln shoots That Other Dude.
This show stinks.
I love that Gretchen always has perfect red lips and perfect red nails. Makes her even more badass.
I love that The Feds always wear suits. Undercover sneak attacks be damned. The Feds capture Linc and end up offering The Gang a deal. Another effing deal. Homeland Security determined they're telling the truth, and that Rapaport screwed them. But they need them to testify against him.
Meanwhile, Rapaport forces Gretchen to work with him to try to sell The Computer Chip of Awesomeness. But he can't sell it - because it's not complete. Michael took a piece of it off before he turned it over.
So Michael shows up to the warehouse where they're holding Linc to strike their deal. But it's another double-cross. Or something. I can't keep track - maybe it's a quadruple-cross? Cuz The Homeland Security Dude goes to shoot The Brothers, but then Another Dude shoots That Dude to take The Brothers to the Bald Bad Dude. But Sucre busts in and then Lincoln shoots That Other Dude.
This show stinks.
01 December 2008
Heroes
This Daphne-on-crutches stuff was funny last week. But now I just get another show tonight featuring a crippled person. Mike calls me Daphne now. Daphne, Jimmy from South Park ("What a great audience"), and Tiny Tim.
Claire's rushed to the hospital suffering a huge infection because she's never been sick before and her body can't fight the infection. Claire looks like ass. She goes into cardiac arrest and they freaking cut her chest open - drastic, no? And suddenly makes me even more wary of my impending surgery. The funniest part is where her mother is just watching from the window. Um. Her chest and guts are all open and all over the place, and she's watching relatively calmly? Ew.
Gabriel and Elle did it. Right there, in the house, on the bare floor. She's the mother of Little Noah, right? But then Bennet busts up the afterglow with his bigass gun. Mood killer. But I guess it's nice he let them finish.
Elle gets shot and Gabriel patches her up and sends her off so he can face Bennet alone. They have a monster fist fight, then Bennet slashes Gabriel's throat open.
The Petrellis break up a child sex slavery ring in Haiti. No really. Peter's really good with a freaking hugeass gun -- for a nurse.
But oh look - that nasty eclipse clears up just in time for everyone to get their powers back and for Claire and Gabriel to recover. How terribly convenient. But this also means Mohinder's scales are growing back. Sad horns.
Gabriel and Elle show up at the Bennet house, a little pissed. Bennet says Gabriel's not really a Petrelli, but Gabriel doesn't want to hear it and starts to return the slit-throat favor. Hiro shows up suddenly and teleports Gabriel, Elle, and Claire away. It looks like Sylar's back and killing Elle on a beach.
Then my DVR cuts off. Effer. I'll see if I missed anything on Hulu tomorrow.
Claire's rushed to the hospital suffering a huge infection because she's never been sick before and her body can't fight the infection. Claire looks like ass. She goes into cardiac arrest and they freaking cut her chest open - drastic, no? And suddenly makes me even more wary of my impending surgery. The funniest part is where her mother is just watching from the window. Um. Her chest and guts are all open and all over the place, and she's watching relatively calmly? Ew.
Gabriel and Elle did it. Right there, in the house, on the bare floor. She's the mother of Little Noah, right? But then Bennet busts up the afterglow with his bigass gun. Mood killer. But I guess it's nice he let them finish.
Elle gets shot and Gabriel patches her up and sends her off so he can face Bennet alone. They have a monster fist fight, then Bennet slashes Gabriel's throat open.
The Petrellis break up a child sex slavery ring in Haiti. No really. Peter's really good with a freaking hugeass gun -- for a nurse.
But oh look - that nasty eclipse clears up just in time for everyone to get their powers back and for Claire and Gabriel to recover. How terribly convenient. But this also means Mohinder's scales are growing back. Sad horns.
Gabriel and Elle show up at the Bennet house, a little pissed. Bennet says Gabriel's not really a Petrelli, but Gabriel doesn't want to hear it and starts to return the slit-throat favor. Hiro shows up suddenly and teleports Gabriel, Elle, and Claire away. It looks like Sylar's back and killing Elle on a beach.
Then my DVR cuts off. Effer. I'll see if I missed anything on Hulu tomorrow.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
This week's episode featured a guy in a wheelchair. This show is taunting me now, right?
Cameron sees a Terminator model in a picture from the 1920's. Luckily there is also plenty of 1920's news footage about the guy. So we get loads of flashbacks, and all this information that comes from the library like it's a GD police station or something.
All this leads Cameron to figure out that the 1920's Terminator has holed himself up into a wall, where he plans to assassinate the Governor in 2010. So she kills him. I really didn't follow how she noodled that one through. I guess that's what makes her a Terminator.
This was the lamest plot contrivance B.S. ever. And BORING! WHERE IS DAVID SILVER!? THERE WAS NO DAVID SILVER!!! Hell, there was no Sarah. And all John did was make out with Riley a little. I don't think he even touched boob.
DULL!
Cameron sees a Terminator model in a picture from the 1920's. Luckily there is also plenty of 1920's news footage about the guy. So we get loads of flashbacks, and all this information that comes from the library like it's a GD police station or something.
All this leads Cameron to figure out that the 1920's Terminator has holed himself up into a wall, where he plans to assassinate the Governor in 2010. So she kills him. I really didn't follow how she noodled that one through. I guess that's what makes her a Terminator.
This was the lamest plot contrivance B.S. ever. And BORING! WHERE IS DAVID SILVER!? THERE WAS NO DAVID SILVER!!! Hell, there was no Sarah. And all John did was make out with Riley a little. I don't think he even touched boob.
DULL!
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