20 October 2008

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The show recently got a full season pick up so yay for more Terminator.

This week was Family Psychology Week. John talks to a counselor and so does the Shirley Manson Terminator's daughter. She's weirded out by her, because kids can sense when their mothers have turned into liquid-metal Terminators, duh. And liquid-metal Terminators make really really bad, emotionally distant mothers.

David Silver's girlfriend in the future has been sent back to this time, and he sees her in the park and catches up to her. She's gone AWOL from the war, and is just kickin' it in a hotel, chillin' in the past. Must be nice. Of course this does not turn David Silver on. David Silver does not like a coward. But then he comes back later, and he does. Cuz, let's face it, David Silver NEEDS TO GET LAID!

We get a new freaky Terminator chick in the mix, as one pops in from the future. And this one has really bad hair. She's come to kill the psychologist. She and Cameron meet up and beat the crap out of each other. A crazy, weird acrobatic fight that ends with the other chick all folded up, the heel of her boot stuck in her eye. Gross!

In the end, Shirley Manson offers the psychologist a job - to help her "raise" the AI she's making, since it's like a child.

RW/RR: The Island

Finally watched last week's episode of The Island. That's how fascinating and important this thing is in my life right now.

Blah blah Dan and Robin are freaking lunatic alcoholics. Robin tells people they didn't screw because he went limp. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA And now she's "dead to him" - LOL! You know it's bad when Derrick - DERRICK - thinks you're drinking too much and need to be controlled.

Blah Blah Johnny and Ev hate each other.

Face Off: Cohutta (WTF is that name, honestly?), Johnny, and Derrick (who is going in to help Johnny, secretly). The Face Off doesn't lend itself to Derrick being able to help Johnny - it's more of an individual event.

Winner: Johnny. He takes his key back from Ev.

Bye-bye: Cohutta, your lame ass, your lame accent, and your lame name.

19 October 2008

Mark Wahlberg Makes It Up To Me



Mark, I hated your movie. In fact, I hated your last two movies. But that's OK, I still like you.

I posted the brilliant Mark Wahlberg impression Andy Samberg did two weeks ago. Then Mark was in the press and on talk shows bitching about it, saying he didn't think it was funny and that he wanted to punch Andy in the face. But I'll bet that was all just set-up for this week, because he came on Saturday Night Live and it was hysterical!

Max Payne Angers Me


I know what you're thinking. "You saw Max Payne? But doesn't it have like a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes? I thought it was your policy not to see anything rated less than 69%!?"

STFU. You're right, of course. But sometimes I make exceptions. Like when I figure it's the kind of movie critics won't like, but I'll still enjoy the mindless fun.

I did not, in fact, enjoy the mindless "fun" that is Max Payne. I went into this movie loving the trailers and the clips I had seen at Comic-Con. And expecting massive amounts of gun porn. Well, apparently I had seen all the good clips - and all the gun porn clips. BECAUSE THIS WAS NO GUN PORN!!!

OK, fine. You're entitled to wrap plot around a gun porn movie. Absolutely. But not boring plot!! I literally was struggling to keep my eyes open. The set-up was taking way too long. And then the payoff's not even good.

Ugh. This movie is a lot like Hitman - you think it's going to be gloriously stylized violence and it isn't. It gives you blue balls.

18 October 2008

Push Trailer

Here's the trailer for Push, which I got a bit excited about during Comic-Con. It's essentially Heroes, but with better special effects. Ironic, since Heroes rips everything else off. I still think it looks money. Then again, I still plan on seeing Max Payne this weekend....



You can click here for the Apple trailers site and HD versions.

15 October 2008

Project Runway: Finale Part 2

I read today that Bravo is basically sabotaging Project Runway on purpose because of that whole lawsuit nonsense. They didn't have a reunion show (does this mean we don't get one at all!?) and they scheduled the finale opposite the final Presidential debate. Whatever, like it makes a difference. Do the gays even watch the debates? I'll just get my soundbites from The Daily Show, as usual. I wasn't gonna miss my finale!

Kenley is her usual whiny, valley girl voiced, bitchy self as Tim critiques her collection. Gotta love the girl's consistency!!

Leanne drinks Coke Zero. I'm gonna stop drinking it now. It makes you plain-looking, if not downright butt-ugly, and that's the last thing I need. Diet Coke makes you hot!

Korto decides to make two new looks for her collection. Is she crazy!?

OH CRAP! As Kenley's blowdrying her hair in the morning, and she doesn't have her red lipstick on, she looks HOLY HOT! Now I have the need to see her without makeup, with her hair all blown out and sexy, maybe some black fingernails. Rawr.

You know I just figured out who Kenley reminds me of - Snow White. And tonight she wears red, blue, and white and REALLY reminds me of Snow White.

Tim's the Guest Judge, since Jennifer Lopez dropped out at the last minute due to a "foot injury" (but then she did a triathlon a couple days later - oh J Lo, how you disappoint me).

Kenley: I loved hers! It's not the Kool-Aid talking! That one cream dress with the painted flowers down the middle - brilliant gorgeousness!! The dress that was the bridesmaids dress looked out of place though. I thought everything looked really great in motion on the runway too. It was fun!! GO KENLEY!!

Korto: I liked the pants outfit and the short yellow/print dress the best. The new one-shouldered dress she designed was amazing too. The whole collection was really cohesive.

Leanne: The wave collection. Which I thought would get old, and it did. I don't like the cream color and I only like the waves on the skirts, not on the tops. The waves remind me of a car part - like an air filter or something. But I loved the long blue dress. To me, the collection was really cold and repetitive. Boo.

I really did like Kenley's best, but I'd be down with Korto winning too.

Third: Kenley. Noooooo! *pouty face*

Runner-up: Korto.

Winner: Leanne. BOO TO LIFE!!!! I HATE HER!!! *extreme pouty face*

I don't think they're having a reunion, because they mentioned during commercial that Korto won fan favorite. Dagger.

KHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!


Can't... speak... Miss... the eyebrows..... WAAAAAH!

Vote for McCain

America's favorite midget thinks you should vote for John McCain. This is pretty funny, but what I love the most is hearing her drop the F-bomb.
See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

14 October 2008

Fringe

This week we have the case of the creepy stalky UPS dude. When he gets angry and/or rejected by the woman he's creeping out, he shorts out electronic equipment. Including the elevator he was riding in with several people - and only he survives the plummet to the basement. He also kills his mother with an electrical discharge to her pacemaker.

Gross autopsies, bloody arms caught in machines, the beating of removed hearts - I'm gonna puke!!!! But that's why the show is cool. And there was also REO Speedwagon.

Walter uses pseudoscience and pigeons to find Electric Man. Yes, pigeons. I don't know, I didn't really follow it. I just enjoyed it. Cuz Walter's too cute when he gives two-thumbs-up.

Olivia has visions of her dead boyfriend John from the first episode. Walter says they're not hallucinations, but that part of John's consciousness crossed over into Olivia's during The Brain Transfer Incident of the first episode. Vision!John leads her to a room full of mysterious files that John was working on. More plots!

Iron Man 2 Casting News


Don Cheadle is stepping in to replace Terrence Howard in Iron Man 2, Marvel Studios' sequel to its summer blockbuster.

In the movie, Howard played Jim Rhodes, Tony Stark/Iron Man's best friend and future armor-clad hero War Machine. One scene featured Howard looking at a silver suit of armor and saying "Next time," a line that caused great delight for fans.

But there will be no next time for Howard.

Marvel had no comment, but sources close to the deal said negotiations with Howard fell through over financial differences, among other reasons. Marvel, which had wanted to work with Cheadle, then decided to take the role in another direction and approached the actor.

I love Don Cheadle, so this is great. I normally don't like Terrence Howard. Like, I dislike the man for no reason at all, other than that in real life he seems like a douche. And apparently thinks he's worth more than he is. But I didn't mind him in Iron Man - I actually really liked him.

But Don Cheadle will be cooler. He just will be.

13 October 2008

Heroes: This Show Makes No Sense

Nathan and Tracy hooked up. Nathan continued his religious mumbo-jumbo, which evidently does not extend to premarital sex. They find out from Angela that Dr. Zimmerman worked for the Company and created people with abilities - including Niki, Jessica, Tracy - and Nathan. He's pissed.

Linderman, who I thought was a ghost or something, recruits Daphne to help him. But it ends up no one else can see him but her. I'm confused about what he is. He wants her to recruit Knox, and later Matt. Turns out it was Matt's dad Maury creating the Linderman visions all along to manipulate Nathan and Daphne and "build an army". He's working for Arthur Petrelli, who is not dead, but rather is in a coma, communicating with Maury through telepathy.

Hiro and Ando freed Adam so he could help them find the formula - which I guess is the formula used to create specials. He takes them to a "specials for hire" bar. Knox ends up capturing Adam. Then Knox and Daphne recruit Hiro to join them - by making him kill Ando. He drives a sword through Ando's heart. WHAT!? Did Hiro really kill Ando? WHAT!? THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE!!

Mohinder's in the woods hunting people. He kills a dude and brings him to his lab, and he has the neighbor dude from last week, barely alive, spun up in some kind of web against the wall. And his back is all scaly again. WHAT IS HE!? Maya shows up and starts in with the black tears, and he traps her into one of those web things. So now Mohinder's a killer, cuz really that black dude looked dead. THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE!!

Claire's hunting bad guys - starting with Bubs from The Wire. He creates black holes - cool! She is, of course, outmatched. That's what happens when you're an 18-year-old girl out on your own hunting villains. But Bubs isn't really a villain, y'all - he accidentally sucked someone into a black hole and was imprisoned. So Claire decides she'll help him instead.

Peter's raging against Sylar and trying to kill his own mother, but Sylar saves her. Angela puts Peter in a coma as punishment.

Bennet and Sylar team up again to find Bubs. And they can't agree on a radio station in the car. Sylar's acting like a bratty teenager, and sure was awfully accepting of his New Mommy. THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE!!

They show up at Bubs' house and Claire's shocked to see her dad and Sylar working together. In the ensuing black hole drama, Sylar saves Claire's life. Bennet asks Bubs to suck Sylar into a black hole, but Bubs refuses to kill anyone, instead sucking himself into a black hole.

You know what this show wasn't missing? Matt in Africa.

But really - this is just too confusing and there are too many people. THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE!!

RW/RR: The Island

Jesus, Johnny is just awful to Ev!

I think they should starve the players every year. Like, I'm over this island thing, but just put them in a mansion without food. Good times.

Face Off: Tyrie, Dan, and Ev. She's definitely the only one who would go into the Face Off with 2 guys.

The winner will be able to take a key from any player who has one. They spent entirely too much time on the issue of whose key Ev would take, making deals and everything, even before knowing if she'd win the Face Off or not. Which was a clear indication that she would win it.

Winner: Ev. She takes Johnny's key after a big speech calling out the alliance, naming the members and everything. Now Johnny's on a rampage. I hope it ends up in some good drama and that Johnny's not all talk (like he usually is).

Bye-bye: Tyrie.

Life on Mars

Finally watched the series premiere of the American version of Life on Mars. Man, I was really hoping to hate it.

I love (like, love love love) the original British version. It's an amazing show. (Tragically, only available illegally here in the States.) It's the kind of show that still haunts me and hearing music from it gives me chills. Anyway, with American versions of British shows you can either get a crappy ripoff or something just as good (see, The Office). So far, this is just as good.

The characters mostly have the same names as the British version, which makes me sad. I prefer to think of those original characters as their own entities - I don't want to think of these people as the same people. Especially Gene Hunt. He is amazing in the British version. AMAZING! Here, he's played by Harvey Keitel and just kind of reminds me of Harvey Keitel. I like Chris and Ray in this version though.

The show is about a detective from 2008 who goes back in time to 1973 after being hit by a car. But has he time traveled or is he in a coma? These are the mysteries of the show. Meanwhile, he has to be a cop in 1973 without modern technology. The American version takes place in New York, and right away you can show the hero back in time by showing the Twin Towers. Spooky. With the British version, I definitely didn't pick up on every pop culture reference, being foreign and all. But in this American version there will be more that I can pick up on.

There were lots of details and shots that were identical to the British show. I wonder how much they're going to keep to those plots as the show continues. I liked this, even if it was just because I kept flashing back to the British version. It'll take a couple more episodes before I know for sure. But I didn't hate it!

Fall Rules!!!

We went to Ashcombe Farms for my last day in PA. It was so much fun and the best part of all was that Owen had a great time! Yay! I'm the Greatest Aunt Ever! Suck it, sisters!

I've decided Fall is the best season because of the food. And I had tons this weekend! I also brought home some multi-colored leaves, to add a touch of Fall to Florida. I had a great trip - thanks to everyone who made it awesome!


10 October 2008

Partying Like Rock Stars

I brought Ghostie up to Pennsylvania to enjoy some Fall weather.



We went to the park.



We partied our asses off with 4 kids aged 3 and under!

09 October 2008

Prison Break

Gretchen has T-Bag tied to a chair. She cuts him all over his arm. His good arm!

Ocean's Eleven time - The Gang's goin to Vegas! Half of them anyway; the rest are staying to try to find T-Bag. T-bag finds them, as he and his secretary lure them to a meeting and kidnap them. Mahone gets away, and gets the tracking device from Michael Rapaport so he can find Bellick and Scofield.

Yes, T-Bag still has the ability to tie people up with his one good hand. (He ended up tying up the secretary somehow as well.) He forces Scofield to put together the map from the Bird Book pages, a map which turns out to be a blueprint. Their work is interrupted when Gretchen, watching from another room, sees Bellick's ankle monitor and knows they're being tracked. So they split by the time Mahone shows up.

The blueprint is for the Gate Company building where T-Bag was working. T-Bag takes Scofield there and they find a secret door in the floor. He takes him down to the basement, where Mahone is waiting. They lock T-Bag in a room and tell Michael Rapaport to come get him.

Meanwhile, in Vegas, the data card reader doesn't work in the Casino, because it picks up too many electronic devices. Sucre follows their target (Mike from 24) to the pool. Well, guess what - the target is gay and Sucre's smooth 12-pack abs are just the thing to lure him!!! Luckily, he's not just gay, he's a creepy, rich gay willing to pay for sex. He invites Sucre up to his room for cognac and balls. But - LOL - it's just a classic Prison Break misdirection. Turns out he's an old impotent dude who wants to pay Sucre to bang his young, hot wife.

The Asian guy gets caught trying to cheat in the Casino, because that's essentially why he created that reader device. He had cheated in the past and Security confiscates the device. Oops. Now he has to build another device. Why don't they just go steal it back?

Gretchen calls the boys and says she has the rest of the book. If they want it, they have to give her back T-Bag. Why does she care about T-Bag so much?

Michael Scofield Nosebleed Situation Update: It's apparently something that happened to their mother too. Nosebleeds as a kid that start back up when they're 30, resulting in death at 31. Michael just turned 31. Dun Dun Dun!

08 October 2008

Project Runway: Finale Part 1

The remaining designers get $8000 to go home and design a wedding dress -- ooo, that's new -- and a collection. Then they come back to NYC and get narrowed down to 3 finalists.

Korto in Little Rock. She has an "ethnic but not too ethnic" collection, with her own beadwork and snakeskin (ew). The wedding dress is beige and non-traditional. Her husband and her daughter are adorable.

Leanne in Portland, OR. That boyfriend is such a lucky guy. He looks just as dull and pasty. Her collection has a wave-pattern theme. I don't like it. At all. And there are three colors: white, off-white, and a Tiffany blue. The wedding dress stinks. Is she dull or on some kind of drug? I can't tell now. Too bad they don't make pills that give you a personality.

Jerell in Los Angeles. Lots of "elegant" dresses in his collection. But some look like a wrinkled mess and as usual have that one-extra-thing thrown on that I hate. EDIT! He introduces his "love interest" Dan. Really? Love interest? That's the term we use now?

Kenley in Brooklyn. Kenley used to be a chubby little teen. Now I love her even more. Her collection has ropes (yes, ropes) and hand-painted fabrics. The wedding dress is crazy in a grand-finale kind of way. Her collection probably got the most praise from Tim, at least that's how they edited it.

Back to New York. They all act like massive bitches about and to Kenley. She apologizes to them, but it was a half-ass apology. Whatever, they seemed to accept it. And Jerell rocks the sternum bones and the tie-on-a-chain.

Last-Minute Challenge: Design a bridesmaid dress to accompany your wedding dress. They will be judged on those 2 dresses in order to make it to the next round.

Jerell seems perfectly content to make an ugly bridesmaid dress. And a sloppy one at that. THAT HE WANTS TO ADD YARN TO! YARN! Korto makes her dresses match. I'm over Leanne's wave designs before they even began. I like how it looks on the skirt, but not at the top and middle. It's just so puffy.

Judging. Jerell's and Korto's both look like wrinkled paper bags to me. Wrinkled paper bags with way too much going on. She ended up making her bridesmaids dress shorter and adding a little color, but it was still hella dull. He has to add horrid details like these huge jewels and a big flowery headpiece. There is just always TOO MUCH. I don't like the 2 tiers in Leanne's wedding dress (though it definitely looks well-made), but I loved the bottom of the bridesmaids dress. Kenley's wedding dress is a-dor-a-ble, as is the bridesmaids dress. Go Kenley!!

Bye-bye: Jerell. And he's a tad bitchy about it too.

ALL FEMALE FINALE!!

07 October 2008

I'm Ready to Join the Family



I already love Cheetos and Asians - I'm qualified to join the Jolie-Pitt Family!!!

06 October 2008

Heroes: There Are Too Many People On This Damn Show

Mohinder's skin is all peeling off and crap since he injected himself with that power serum. Ew. He can't reverse the effects and he's got goo coming out of his hands. He kicks some abusive-racist-husband-neighbor ass. He also rages out against Maya, which was hot and lovely. Unfortunately, he apologizes to her. Pussy.

As for The Attack of the Blonde Clones: Niki/Jessica/Tracy (or Barbara?) were triplets separated at birth and experimented on to give them powers. Tracy can't deal with her powers, and the fact that she killed a dude, so she jumps off of a building, but Nathan flies in and catches her.

At the end of the episode, Angela sends Hiro and Ando to dig Adam up. Adam's a little salty!!!! Yay for the return of Adam!

Four Years in the Future: Future!Peter takes Present!Peter there to show him how everyone has powers now and it's like bad and stuff. People are flying all over NYC. He says they have to find Sylar because his power will help them. Future!Brunette!Claire shows up and shoots Future!Peter and chases off Present!Peter. Claire works with Knox and Daphne. I call them the Bad Kids Gang.

Present!Peter goes to Mohinder's Future!Lab and Mohinder's there, gone all "The Fly". You don't get a good look at him, but you know he's a monster. He tells Peter that Sylar's at the Bennet house. LOL!!! Sylar has a kid named Noah and he's cooking (waffles, natch).

He says when he was Sylar he had a hunger he couldn't control, but that now as Gabriel he struggles to control it, and he won't give his power to Peter lest he turn out the same way. Peter says he has to and blahblahblah, he tells Gabriel to paint the future so he can see why he needs to. Gabriel agrees, but wants to make sure his son doesn't see him. Awwwww. When he sees that the world will explode, he helps Peter take on his intuitive aptitude.

Matt and Daphne are married and have a kid and are taking care of Molly. They get Molly to give them Peter's location and the Bad Kids set out to go to the Bennets. SHOWDOWN!! Little Noah is killed in the ensuing fight. UH-OH! Gabriel goes nuclear and explodes Costa Verde. Oooooops.

Nathan is President and Tracy is the First Lady! And the Haitian's in the Bad Kids Gang too. Claire cuts into Present!Peter, wanting him to feel the pain of all of those deaths. Peter tries to cut Nathan's head open, then teleports back to the present and attacks Sylar in his cell, whining about having his power or something. Sylar says Peter has the hunger now.

The special effects stink on the show this year. The nuclear explosion was pretty cool, but some of the flying and the double-Peter effects are really painfully bad.

Terminator: David Silver Badassery

This show is always awesome when it features David Silver war flashbacks (flash-forwards technically). And thus tonight was awesome.

Another Terminator is in town to hunt down and kill one of John Connor's future lieutenants. John and David Silver go all undercover at the kid's military school to protect him.

In the meantime, the ladies are protecting an even younger kid with the same name from being killed as well. But this means essentially kidnapping the kid - they don't even let him call his mother! I get that he would trust them (maybe) because they saved him from being killed, but wow that was one trusting, not-scared kid.

His parents are good parents, and they're looking for him, going on TV and asking for his return. But the kid is pretty much fine with being a captive. SO WEIRD!

But back to the important part - David Silver defending all the military school students from the Terminator when he comes at night. There is shooting and running and burning of Terminators in tar pits. Yes!

This was probably the best episode yet, except for that strange Stockholm Syndrome Kid. (They ended up letting him go once that Terminator died.)