I think it was Jim Gaffigan who Tweeted something like, "I hope this whole Hurricane Sandy thing isn't a giant promo for Revolution." You know, I wouldn't put it past NBC.
Gus Fring brings Danny to Monroe. Johnny Crowder, the sadist interrogator, is sent after Our Gang.
Charlie, Bella's Dad, and Nerdy Hipster Guy are speeding off in a horse-drawn carriage with Nora in the back with her infected stab wound. They go to some guy's mansion, a guy that Bella's Dad knew from his Militia days. He's got a doctor in the basement who does a blood transfusion from Bella's Dad to Nora. Meanwhile, Charlie takes a bath and then freaks out and rips apart all of her postcards. She's just the worst. The dude who owns the house is a bona fide creepy whackjob who peddles heroin and whores. In exchange for his kindness, the dude wants Charlie to kill someone who has been burning his heroin. So Charlie has to wear a dress and pretend to be an abused whore to get into the guy's compound.
Of course, Bella's Dad won't let Charlie be in any danger, so he does some swordfighting (naturally) and stops her from killing the guy. Because the editing on this show is THE WORST, now Creepy Whackjob Dude has Nora and Nerdy Hipster Guy and is going to make them duel. An old-school gun duel on his front yard. NHG fakes shooting himself in the heart (by shooting a flask in his pocket) and then actually shoots Creepy Whackjob Dude. R.I.P. Creepy Whackjob Dude.
This week's flashback offers us a look at Nerdy Hipster Guy and his wife post-blackout. It's pretty much what you'd expect, with NHG being totally inept and not at all tough. And he left his wife with a group they were traveling with because he felt so inadequate. Loser.
In the end, Danny is reunited with his mother. I hope she's not disappointed in what a wet dishrag of a man he is.
30 October 2012
26 October 2012
Fringe
Let's not talk about the crazy hours I've been working, the Halloween vacation I went on, the fact that I've seen 2 movies and not reviewed them, and the fact that I have 3 episodes of The Challenge to catch up on. Let's just watch Fringe so I can go to bed and work tomorrow.
Peter's on the run from Observers who tried to read him while he was stealing gas. The rest of the crew is digging out Tape 2 at Harvard. And Old Broyles is having a confab with the Lead Asshole Observer because they've determined that someone is working for the Resistance and feeding Our Team information.
Tape 2's clue directs Our Team to a subway station. But in order to get there, Walter first takes everyone downstairs where Walter has kept all of the evidence from their Fringe Division cases. Random.
During the course of a mind-rapey interrogation, an Observer gets the traitor to reference someone called "The Dove" -- my money's on Broyles cuz he's acting hella on-guard and can block the Observers out of his head pretty well. Sure enough, Broyles texts Ella to tell her the Observers are headed for the lab. So the crew re-ambers the lab and sneaks out.
The team uses the old makes-head-holes-close-up gas (that stuff was awsome!) to get past guards and into the subway station. I like the concept of them using the past Fringe case evidence and making weapons out of them. But I don't know if that's something that's going to continue, or was just the gimmick for this episode.
So what they get out of the station is a giant scroll of an equation that Walter wrote and can't make sense of. Broyles comes by and they have a sweet reunion, and he gives them some weapons. Observers catch up to them. Everyone shoots and runs. Lead Asshole Observer catches up to Etta. I suddenly think this show could get interesting if Etta dies. Time to lose the weirdness of a 5-year age gap between parents and child. Get some drama and angst from her death.
Sure enough, Lead Asshole Observer shoots her. And before she dies, Etta arms a bomb that wipes out a bunch of Observers. R.I.P. Etta. Nothing against you, kid, but I want my old show back. And you were in my way. This might just be the jolt the show needed. Peter's at least going to be crazed for revenge.
This Week's Code: WOUND
Peter's on the run from Observers who tried to read him while he was stealing gas. The rest of the crew is digging out Tape 2 at Harvard. And Old Broyles is having a confab with the Lead Asshole Observer because they've determined that someone is working for the Resistance and feeding Our Team information.
Tape 2's clue directs Our Team to a subway station. But in order to get there, Walter first takes everyone downstairs where Walter has kept all of the evidence from their Fringe Division cases. Random.
During the course of a mind-rapey interrogation, an Observer gets the traitor to reference someone called "The Dove" -- my money's on Broyles cuz he's acting hella on-guard and can block the Observers out of his head pretty well. Sure enough, Broyles texts Ella to tell her the Observers are headed for the lab. So the crew re-ambers the lab and sneaks out.
The team uses the old makes-head-holes-close-up gas (that stuff was awsome!) to get past guards and into the subway station. I like the concept of them using the past Fringe case evidence and making weapons out of them. But I don't know if that's something that's going to continue, or was just the gimmick for this episode.
So what they get out of the station is a giant scroll of an equation that Walter wrote and can't make sense of. Broyles comes by and they have a sweet reunion, and he gives them some weapons. Observers catch up to them. Everyone shoots and runs. Lead Asshole Observer catches up to Etta. I suddenly think this show could get interesting if Etta dies. Time to lose the weirdness of a 5-year age gap between parents and child. Get some drama and angst from her death.
Sure enough, Lead Asshole Observer shoots her. And before she dies, Etta arms a bomb that wipes out a bunch of Observers. R.I.P. Etta. Nothing against you, kid, but I want my old show back. And you were in my way. This might just be the jolt the show needed. Peter's at least going to be crazed for revenge.
This Week's Code: WOUND
16 October 2012
Revolution
Gus Fring is hosting his own Fight Club. Honestly. He beats the crap out of Boring Danny. Which should be awesome, but Shirtless Gus Fring is creepy. Our flashbacks this week show Gus before the blackout when he was a regular joe, kind of a corporate idiot whose neighbors take advantage of him and he just passive-aggressively deals with life. Reminds me of when we met John Locke in flashback. Only 700% less awesome. He's also married to one of Jack Bauer's old girlfriends and has a young son. We see him go all crazy when a looter shows up to his home after the blackout. He's had enough, dammit, he's Gus Fring!
Dull British Stepmom is in the ground, so Bella's Dad says it's time to stop whining and get going. Charlie, stop whining? Right -- that'll be the day. They hear a train, and see Gus trying to get one going.
Nora goes to visit a dude named Hutch and uses the code, "I'm looking for a copy of Joe Biden's biography," which is apparently Resistance code for, "I'm cool." She wants help blowing up the train.
Charlie runs into Gus Fring then Bella's Dad comes along to have a knife fight with him and then run off. This show really sucks. It's just a bunch of shoddly-edited-together scenes. I don't get it.
So you know how Nora wants to blow up the train? Guess what Charlie's whining about -- "What if Danny's on board?" ENOUGH ABOUT DANNY! When Nora sees that Danny is indeed on the train, she wants to stop the bomb, so Hutch stabs her. Oh noooo the train is taking offfff. Whoooo cares.
Bella's Dad and Charlie highjack a couple of horses to catch the train. They bust in and Charlie laughably tries to fight Gus Fring. Please choke her to death, Gus, please!!! Bella's Dad literally reaches into the flames of the engine to pull out the bomb-booby-trapped log. Good thing he got there in time to notice that a bomb-booby-trapped log was being used. Effing random and awful. Anyway, Nate comes out of left field (remember his dumb ass, the Militia Spy with a Heart of Gold?) to throw Charlie off of the train to protect her from Gus and then Bella's Dad jumps off after her. These 2 idiots are back where they have always been -- looking for Danny, now tracking him to Philadelphia.
Oh so our big Shocking Revelation when Gus meets up with his wife is that Nate is his son, Jason. Also, Charlie's Mom says there are 12 Mystical Flash Drive Pendants.
This show might be tolerable if it were more about the adults and the Resistance and less about the boring, whiny teenagers. Alas. This show gets really good ratings!! I don't understand that at all.
Dull British Stepmom is in the ground, so Bella's Dad says it's time to stop whining and get going. Charlie, stop whining? Right -- that'll be the day. They hear a train, and see Gus trying to get one going.
Nora goes to visit a dude named Hutch and uses the code, "I'm looking for a copy of Joe Biden's biography," which is apparently Resistance code for, "I'm cool." She wants help blowing up the train.
Charlie runs into Gus Fring then Bella's Dad comes along to have a knife fight with him and then run off. This show really sucks. It's just a bunch of shoddly-edited-together scenes. I don't get it.
So you know how Nora wants to blow up the train? Guess what Charlie's whining about -- "What if Danny's on board?" ENOUGH ABOUT DANNY! When Nora sees that Danny is indeed on the train, she wants to stop the bomb, so Hutch stabs her. Oh noooo the train is taking offfff. Whoooo cares.
Bella's Dad and Charlie highjack a couple of horses to catch the train. They bust in and Charlie laughably tries to fight Gus Fring. Please choke her to death, Gus, please!!! Bella's Dad literally reaches into the flames of the engine to pull out the bomb-booby-trapped log. Good thing he got there in time to notice that a bomb-booby-trapped log was being used. Effing random and awful. Anyway, Nate comes out of left field (remember his dumb ass, the Militia Spy with a Heart of Gold?) to throw Charlie off of the train to protect her from Gus and then Bella's Dad jumps off after her. These 2 idiots are back where they have always been -- looking for Danny, now tracking him to Philadelphia.
Oh so our big Shocking Revelation when Gus meets up with his wife is that Nate is his son, Jason. Also, Charlie's Mom says there are 12 Mystical Flash Drive Pendants.
This show might be tolerable if it were more about the adults and the Resistance and less about the boring, whiny teenagers. Alas. This show gets really good ratings!! I don't understand that at all.
12 October 2012
Fringe
So I just watched the pilot for Arrow. And I'm all in. It's like Smallville but 1000 times better. Cuz this guy actually kills people. And the mystery of what happened to him while he was missing is cool. Loved the pilot!
Over on Fringe, it's the Great Hunt for the Video Tapes. The first one is Walter smoking a massive bong, and it leads them to a location in a Northern Pennsylvania forest. Within this forest is... for old time's sake let's call them the Freaks of the Week -- people who look like they have tar all over their faces and live in some weird little village.
The shit-faced guys recognize Walter. They're a group of refugees from the city who maintain an historical record of mankind. Walter's tape sends them to an abandoned mine where they find an extra-tarred-up dead body. The team starts developing tar spots as well. They've got to get to the bottom of the mine to retrieve some kind of quartz crystals that are super, super important, you guys. Some tar guy makes the sacrifice play to retrieve it. The end.
Olivia does a lot of angsting over whether she was a bad mother. Boo. I'm still not feeling this season. Yeah, I get it, life is bad under The Observers. It's also boring. And I don't care about these ugly tar people. The story on this one stunk. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
This Week's Code: ANGER. Yeah, that about sums it up. The next one looks better though.
Over on Fringe, it's the Great Hunt for the Video Tapes. The first one is Walter smoking a massive bong, and it leads them to a location in a Northern Pennsylvania forest. Within this forest is... for old time's sake let's call them the Freaks of the Week -- people who look like they have tar all over their faces and live in some weird little village.
The shit-faced guys recognize Walter. They're a group of refugees from the city who maintain an historical record of mankind. Walter's tape sends them to an abandoned mine where they find an extra-tarred-up dead body. The team starts developing tar spots as well. They've got to get to the bottom of the mine to retrieve some kind of quartz crystals that are super, super important, you guys. Some tar guy makes the sacrifice play to retrieve it. The end.
Olivia does a lot of angsting over whether she was a bad mother. Boo. I'm still not feeling this season. Yeah, I get it, life is bad under The Observers. It's also boring. And I don't care about these ugly tar people. The story on this one stunk. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
This Week's Code: ANGER. Yeah, that about sums it up. The next one looks better though.
09 October 2012
Revolution
Dull British Stepmom and Nerdy Hipster Guy meet Bella's Dad and Charlie at the rendezvous point. There is more walking. They come upon dogs eating a deer. The dogs chase them. Taste the excitement, people! Cuz honestly - it's so. boring. Flashback to Charlie's mom leaving the family to "get supplies" - still. boring. Oh wait - there's a STORM COMING! That's exciting!
Now to Monroe's palace where Charlie's mom is being held. After sweet talking doesn't work for Monroe, Johnny Crowder is brought in to do some light torture. I think. I don't know, they don't show anything and then at the end they just come back to Monroe threatening to rip out Danny's molars in front of her. That would be awesome. Spoiler Alert: it'll never happen.
The Team of Idiots arrives at an amusement park. That Quasi-Militia Guy is still following them; he just won't go away. And now there's another guy watching them... WITH A DOG!! When the power is out, dogs rule the world!
Charlie is the worst character on television. Stop whining, twat! Let Bella's Dad do what he needs to do and stop giving him the guilt trip for not wanting to find your stupid brother. Said stupid brother uses the cover of the impending storm (like, tornado-level storm) to get away. But then Gus Fring is on him in 2 seconds, as if to further demonstrate how not-bright Danny is. That's a new record - didn't he get away for about 15 seconds last time?
Time for more RUNNING FROM DOGS!!!!! Dull British Stepmom is stabbed by Guy With Dog. Lucky her; he nicked an artery so she gets out of this soon. Then DOG MAN NABS CHARLIE! And they talk each other to death. Til Bella's Dad gets there for the KNIFE FIGHT wherein Quasi-Militia Guy stabs Dog Man!
So the storm comes but doesn't really, it just kind of peters out, much like this show. But then the ceiling caves in on Gus Fring. Will Dumb Danny save him? Of course he will. Because Dumb Danny is perfect. Gus slaps handcuffs back on him. Dumb Danny.
R.I.P. Dull British Stepmom. I couldn't care less. And this was after Nerdy Hipster Guy sewed up her artery. Jesus, he had to endure the trauma of diner surgery for this bitch only to have her die 1 minute later? Boo. Oh guess what - now Bella's Dad isn't going anywhere. Dammit, he almost got away!
Now to Monroe's palace where Charlie's mom is being held. After sweet talking doesn't work for Monroe, Johnny Crowder is brought in to do some light torture. I think. I don't know, they don't show anything and then at the end they just come back to Monroe threatening to rip out Danny's molars in front of her. That would be awesome. Spoiler Alert: it'll never happen.
The Team of Idiots arrives at an amusement park. That Quasi-Militia Guy is still following them; he just won't go away. And now there's another guy watching them... WITH A DOG!! When the power is out, dogs rule the world!
Charlie is the worst character on television. Stop whining, twat! Let Bella's Dad do what he needs to do and stop giving him the guilt trip for not wanting to find your stupid brother. Said stupid brother uses the cover of the impending storm (like, tornado-level storm) to get away. But then Gus Fring is on him in 2 seconds, as if to further demonstrate how not-bright Danny is. That's a new record - didn't he get away for about 15 seconds last time?
Time for more RUNNING FROM DOGS!!!!! Dull British Stepmom is stabbed by Guy With Dog. Lucky her; he nicked an artery so she gets out of this soon. Then DOG MAN NABS CHARLIE! And they talk each other to death. Til Bella's Dad gets there for the KNIFE FIGHT wherein Quasi-Militia Guy stabs Dog Man!
So the storm comes but doesn't really, it just kind of peters out, much like this show. But then the ceiling caves in on Gus Fring. Will Dumb Danny save him? Of course he will. Because Dumb Danny is perfect. Gus slaps handcuffs back on him. Dumb Danny.
R.I.P. Dull British Stepmom. I couldn't care less. And this was after Nerdy Hipster Guy sewed up her artery. Jesus, he had to endure the trauma of diner surgery for this bitch only to have her die 1 minute later? Boo. Oh guess what - now Bella's Dad isn't going anywhere. Dammit, he almost got away!
08 October 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
Trishelle is gunning for Sarah because Sarah has her eyes on Alton and Alton is a whore.
The Challenge is a crazy 5-legged race that involves hanging and hooks. And it's suspended over water, as most Challenges are. Eric hits the water right away, as Eric is prone to do. Fresh Meat loses.
The Power Team is Las Vegas. Trishelle wants Sarah/Brooklyn gone, but Alton of course defends his new BFF. I'm not commenting on the fact that Alton's sitting in the back of the bus eating watermelon while they argue. Nope. Trishelle wins that fight. I love that Devyn accuses Sarah of not knowing how to give a proper BJ.
The Arena: A strategy game, with Cara Maria & Brandon being chosen to go against Sarah & Chet, who volunteered themselves. The strategy game involves tying knots in a rope around a jungle gym; then the other team has to unwrap the rope. Besides being a strategy game, it's a heavy-ass rope.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Brandon. Aw, man, MORE PEOPLE I KNOW GOING HOME!! This stinks. I'll miss Cara Maria and her crazy Jack Sparrow hair.
The Challenge is a crazy 5-legged race that involves hanging and hooks. And it's suspended over water, as most Challenges are. Eric hits the water right away, as Eric is prone to do. Fresh Meat loses.
The Power Team is Las Vegas. Trishelle wants Sarah/Brooklyn gone, but Alton of course defends his new BFF. I'm not commenting on the fact that Alton's sitting in the back of the bus eating watermelon while they argue. Nope. Trishelle wins that fight. I love that Devyn accuses Sarah of not knowing how to give a proper BJ.
The Arena: A strategy game, with Cara Maria & Brandon being chosen to go against Sarah & Chet, who volunteered themselves. The strategy game involves tying knots in a rope around a jungle gym; then the other team has to unwrap the rope. Besides being a strategy game, it's a heavy-ass rope.
Bye-bye: Cara Maria and Brandon. Aw, man, MORE PEOPLE I KNOW GOING HOME!! This stinks. I'll miss Cara Maria and her crazy Jack Sparrow hair.
07 October 2012
I Believe In Love Again
Amber Tamblyn and David Cross are married!
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants actress, 29, and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret actor, 48, tied the knot on Saturday, a rep for the actress confirmed to PEOPLE.
05 October 2012
Fringe
Did I mention yet that Last Resort sucks? It legit sucks. And I had 2 people I trust recommend it to me! Needless to say, I no longer trust them. It's just a dumb, incomprehensible mess and godawful. Ick. Anyway, I just watched last night's and it's time to wash the taste out of my mouth with some Fringe. Let's hope it tastes as good as it used to. Cuz so far it tastes a little off. It's weird when a kid and her parents are nearly the same age and when you're not sure what's been happening for 20 years.
Harvard has been taken over by Observers, but the team wants to get into Walter's lab. "It's not a problem for someone who's done acid," says Walter. He remembers tunnels beneath the campus. They find the lab ambered-up and cobwebbed over. An Observer loyalist happens across the lab and Etta whips out some kind of crazy torture/aging device on him. Olivia's not so proud of her daughter any longer. Walter rigs some pig's eyes so they can get through an ocular scanner to get into the science building so they can turn the power back on. So there's a bunch of gross eyeball stuff which I hate. Good old Fringe.
Etta and Peter go undercover into the science building where they see experiments being done on humans, brains in jars, etc. Etta also sees her old pal Desmond's head - and only his head - surrounded by electrodes. And it blinks. YAY Fringe!
Using a laser from Walter's laserdisc player, they dig out a camera (Betamax, natch - Walter loves his outdated technology) and videotape. On it, Walter says that he laid out his plan on several videotapes which must be found and put together. I'm sorry - is this the new Freak of the Week? Videotape of the Week? It's Lord of the Rings with Betamax! Mike makes some Harry Potter reference instead.
This Week's Code: FAITH. As in, have faith that this will feel like my show again. I miss my Freaks of the Week. :(
Harvard has been taken over by Observers, but the team wants to get into Walter's lab. "It's not a problem for someone who's done acid," says Walter. He remembers tunnels beneath the campus. They find the lab ambered-up and cobwebbed over. An Observer loyalist happens across the lab and Etta whips out some kind of crazy torture/aging device on him. Olivia's not so proud of her daughter any longer. Walter rigs some pig's eyes so they can get through an ocular scanner to get into the science building so they can turn the power back on. So there's a bunch of gross eyeball stuff which I hate. Good old Fringe.
Etta and Peter go undercover into the science building where they see experiments being done on humans, brains in jars, etc. Etta also sees her old pal Desmond's head - and only his head - surrounded by electrodes. And it blinks. YAY Fringe!
Using a laser from Walter's laserdisc player, they dig out a camera (Betamax, natch - Walter loves his outdated technology) and videotape. On it, Walter says that he laid out his plan on several videotapes which must be found and put together. I'm sorry - is this the new Freak of the Week? Videotape of the Week? It's Lord of the Rings with Betamax! Mike makes some Harry Potter reference instead.
This Week's Code: FAITH. As in, have faith that this will feel like my show again. I miss my Freaks of the Week. :(
02 October 2012
Revolution
I keep hearing them say "Annie" when they're saying "Danny." This is fitting, since Danny is a giant vagina.
Rebel HQ is in a shitty chain restaurant. They've taken on a bunch of casualties and things look grim and the Militia finds them blah blah blah. I like that in a post-apocalyptic, Renaissance-ish world, Monroe's Militia has taken the time to develop a logo. It's on all their tents and even branded on their skin. Awesome. Maybe Rebel HQ should do better than an American flag.
Shocker: Bella's Dad does what Bella's Dad does best - sword fighting. I guess they really are going to do this every week....
This week's flashbacks show us Bella's Dad and Monroe's relationship soon after the blackout. They tell us absolutely nothing. But in the present day, we find out Bella's Dad was once the second-in-command in the Militia. So what? We already knew they were BFFs. This isn't surprising to me. But it's surprising to Charlie, who in her defense didn't know they were besties in the first place. I guess we're meant to be afraid of the Militia because Badass Bella's Dad trained them. Then we get a flashback where Bella's Dad was once the unstable, murderous one of the pair of Miles & Monroe. Hey -- I like that the "M" in the militia logo might be for Monroe but could also be for Miles Matheson. Lots of M's in this bitch.
Nerdy Hipster Guy and Dull British Stepmom are on a quest for the Mystical Flash Drive Woman, but she's nowhere to be found at her farm. Her place is trashed and NHG finds the remnants of a computer that I guess he just assumes she recently used. Because who would have a computer 15 years after the power went out, I guess. Unless it was just for nostalgia. Or wishful thinking.
At the end, the Mystical Flash Drive starts glowing, music starts playing, and DBS can see the photo of her kids on her iPhone. And then the power goes out again.
Rebel HQ is in a shitty chain restaurant. They've taken on a bunch of casualties and things look grim and the Militia finds them blah blah blah. I like that in a post-apocalyptic, Renaissance-ish world, Monroe's Militia has taken the time to develop a logo. It's on all their tents and even branded on their skin. Awesome. Maybe Rebel HQ should do better than an American flag.
Shocker: Bella's Dad does what Bella's Dad does best - sword fighting. I guess they really are going to do this every week....
This week's flashbacks show us Bella's Dad and Monroe's relationship soon after the blackout. They tell us absolutely nothing. But in the present day, we find out Bella's Dad was once the second-in-command in the Militia. So what? We already knew they were BFFs. This isn't surprising to me. But it's surprising to Charlie, who in her defense didn't know they were besties in the first place. I guess we're meant to be afraid of the Militia because Badass Bella's Dad trained them. Then we get a flashback where Bella's Dad was once the unstable, murderous one of the pair of Miles & Monroe. Hey -- I like that the "M" in the militia logo might be for Monroe but could also be for Miles Matheson. Lots of M's in this bitch.
Nerdy Hipster Guy and Dull British Stepmom are on a quest for the Mystical Flash Drive Woman, but she's nowhere to be found at her farm. Her place is trashed and NHG finds the remnants of a computer that I guess he just assumes she recently used. Because who would have a computer 15 years after the power went out, I guess. Unless it was just for nostalgia. Or wishful thinking.
At the end, the Mystical Flash Drive starts glowing, music starts playing, and DBS can see the photo of her kids on her iPhone. And then the power goes out again.
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
Sarah's got jungle fever, all in love with Alton. Well, as we know, his body is on point. Exes Melinda and Danny both have significant others back home, so 10 bucks says they end up hooking up.
The challenge is some good old-fashioned, porny, trashy oil wrestling. Really. The fact that they have to wear helmets kind of kills the mood. You know what's killing me this season? The soundtrack. We get it, dubstep is hot right now.
As for these people I don't know: 1) Knight is a fat dumb douche idiot 2) I love Laura's hair and 3) I got confirmation that Sam is a chick, so at least wrestling in bathing suits did that for me.
The Power Team is San Diego, and they choose Fresh Meat to go up against the losers, Austin. Dammit - I'm losing all the people I know! They also choose Endurance.
The Arena: Melinda & Danny (cuz that's all that's left of Austin) v. Camila & Eric (Fresh Meat didn't decide so San Diego chose).
Bye-bye: Melinda & Danny. Oh well, guess they won't hook up after all. Til the next Challenge....
The challenge is some good old-fashioned, porny, trashy oil wrestling. Really. The fact that they have to wear helmets kind of kills the mood. You know what's killing me this season? The soundtrack. We get it, dubstep is hot right now.
As for these people I don't know: 1) Knight is a fat dumb douche idiot 2) I love Laura's hair and 3) I got confirmation that Sam is a chick, so at least wrestling in bathing suits did that for me.
The Power Team is San Diego, and they choose Fresh Meat to go up against the losers, Austin. Dammit - I'm losing all the people I know! They also choose Endurance.
The Arena: Melinda & Danny (cuz that's all that's left of Austin) v. Camila & Eric (Fresh Meat didn't decide so San Diego chose).
Bye-bye: Melinda & Danny. Oh well, guess they won't hook up after all. Til the next Challenge....
01 October 2012
I Love Drew Barrymore
I love Drew Barrymore. I truly do. And now she's named her daughter the name I love the most! And I can totally picturing her saying "Olive" with her crooked mouth and it's adorable. Is that weird? Yeah, it's wierd.
Drew Barrymore and her husband Will Kopelman have welcomed their first child – a baby girl named Olive, her rep confirms to JustJared.com.
“We are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Olive Barrymore Kopelman, born September 26th, healthy, happy and welcomed by the whole family. Thank you for respecting our privacy during this most special time in our lives,” Drew said in a statement via her rep.
28 September 2012
Fringe
We only get 13 more episodes of Fringe. And they're in the Observer-run year of 2036. I really wanted to do a massive rewatch of Fringe while it was on break, but I didn't. So maybe it's a goal for after this season then.
Once we get accustomed to the future and the team of Etta, Walter, Astrid, and Pacey working together, Etta determines that amber gypsies have taken Olivia. I guess they go around cutting people out of amber and then selling them to family members. She's not with the amber gypsies because the little midget bookstore dude bought her -- and uses her as a coffee table. I'm not making this stuff up, people.
They get ambered-Olivia into the back of a van but then Observers and their army of human slaves show up. Walter gets separated from the rest and captured. Olivia is freed from the amber. YAY hi Olivia I love you!! Lovely Bishop family reunion ensues. Well, except for Walter, who is being interrogated by Observers, and not very nicely. He's def being mindraped. Boo Observers.
So it seems the years before they all got ambered-up went like this -- Etta "died" or maybe just disappeared. After losing their kid, Olivia and Peter split because they were sad, and also he was a pussy and she wanted to go save the world. Before she ambered herself, Olivia was bringing Walter a device to unscramble the plan for defeating the Observers that September had put into Walter's mind.
Etta hooks the team up with her Resistance friends, who sneak them in to free Walter. The thought device doesn't help them, because Walter's brain got all effed up during the mindraping.
This Week's Code: DOUBT.
OK, look, I'm all for any kind of Fringe. Truly. But I miss my little team solving Freak of the Week cases. There, I said it.
Once we get accustomed to the future and the team of Etta, Walter, Astrid, and Pacey working together, Etta determines that amber gypsies have taken Olivia. I guess they go around cutting people out of amber and then selling them to family members. She's not with the amber gypsies because the little midget bookstore dude bought her -- and uses her as a coffee table. I'm not making this stuff up, people.
They get ambered-Olivia into the back of a van but then Observers and their army of human slaves show up. Walter gets separated from the rest and captured. Olivia is freed from the amber. YAY hi Olivia I love you!! Lovely Bishop family reunion ensues. Well, except for Walter, who is being interrogated by Observers, and not very nicely. He's def being mindraped. Boo Observers.
So it seems the years before they all got ambered-up went like this -- Etta "died" or maybe just disappeared. After losing their kid, Olivia and Peter split because they were sad, and also he was a pussy and she wanted to go save the world. Before she ambered herself, Olivia was bringing Walter a device to unscramble the plan for defeating the Observers that September had put into Walter's mind.
Etta hooks the team up with her Resistance friends, who sneak them in to free Walter. The thought device doesn't help them, because Walter's brain got all effed up during the mindraping.
This Week's Code: DOUBT.
OK, look, I'm all for any kind of Fringe. Truly. But I miss my little team solving Freak of the Week cases. There, I said it.
25 September 2012
Revolution
We start with a one-week-before-the-blackout flashback and intersperse them during the show. Oh, so this show wants to be Lost.
Bella's Dad really enjoys sword fighting. I suppose it makes sense - bows and arrows and swords because guns are banned by the Militia or whatever. Plus it just looks cool, which is really what I think this show is all about. Authenticity? Nope.
They're in one of those bizarre bazaars - really, people sell spices on the street - when Bella's Dad starts fighting guys for reasons that weren't apparent to me. Then he ditches the group for 2 weeks so he can track down a woman. Only he can't get away from Miss Persistence, Charlie, who takes off after him. That Quasi-Militia Guy Nate conveniently runs into her. "Why'd you save me?" Because he wants to bone you, dummy. This Charlie chick is really obsessed with her dingbat brother. He looks like the biggest douche on the planet. He can't be worth all of this trouble.
Gus Fring is such a badass that when he finds a guy with a gun and an American flag he burns it all up. Gus Fring hates America! He's also way too good for this show.
Monroe the Head Militia Dude is the guy from the shitty show The Cape. He's an asshole too, stabbing a guy in the guts and trying to track down rebels. And he has a team of prisoner/slaves pulling a helicopter. Blah blah he's evil. Nora, the chick Bella's Dad is looking for, is A) hot B) wearing a tank top her boobs fall out of and C) one of those prisoner/slaves. Bella's Dad, Charlie, and Nora team up to kill all the guards, free the slaves, and get weapons for the Rebels -- with even more ultra-cool sword fighting.
Nerdy Hipster Guy is left with Dull British Stepmom to try to find the woman he's supposed to give the Mystical Flash Drive to. Too bad someone named Randall tracks her down first -- and he's got an electrical current. The horror!
Monroe has Charlie's Mom prisoner, but the nice kind of prison where she gets to apparently shower, wear nice clothes, write with fountain pens, and have ice. And I guess that was meant to be some kind of revelation, because the shows ends there. Well now, that wasn't very exciting, was it?
Bella's Dad really enjoys sword fighting. I suppose it makes sense - bows and arrows and swords because guns are banned by the Militia or whatever. Plus it just looks cool, which is really what I think this show is all about. Authenticity? Nope.
They're in one of those bizarre bazaars - really, people sell spices on the street - when Bella's Dad starts fighting guys for reasons that weren't apparent to me. Then he ditches the group for 2 weeks so he can track down a woman. Only he can't get away from Miss Persistence, Charlie, who takes off after him. That Quasi-Militia Guy Nate conveniently runs into her. "Why'd you save me?" Because he wants to bone you, dummy. This Charlie chick is really obsessed with her dingbat brother. He looks like the biggest douche on the planet. He can't be worth all of this trouble.
Gus Fring is such a badass that when he finds a guy with a gun and an American flag he burns it all up. Gus Fring hates America! He's also way too good for this show.
Monroe the Head Militia Dude is the guy from the shitty show The Cape. He's an asshole too, stabbing a guy in the guts and trying to track down rebels. And he has a team of prisoner/slaves pulling a helicopter. Blah blah he's evil. Nora, the chick Bella's Dad is looking for, is A) hot B) wearing a tank top her boobs fall out of and C) one of those prisoner/slaves. Bella's Dad, Charlie, and Nora team up to kill all the guards, free the slaves, and get weapons for the Rebels -- with even more ultra-cool sword fighting.
Nerdy Hipster Guy is left with Dull British Stepmom to try to find the woman he's supposed to give the Mystical Flash Drive to. Too bad someone named Randall tracks her down first -- and he's got an electrical current. The horror!
Monroe has Charlie's Mom prisoner, but the nice kind of prison where she gets to apparently shower, wear nice clothes, write with fountain pens, and have ice. And I guess that was meant to be some kind of revelation, because the shows ends there. Well now, that wasn't very exciting, was it?
20 September 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons
The Challenge is back so YAY but also who are half these people so BOO. It's the Battle of the Seasons, but I've only seen Austin (LOL divorcees Melinda and Danny!), the original Las Vegas, and Brooklyn. Oh lordy Devyn has had a lot of plastic surgery. She looks awful.
Didn't see Back to New Orleans, Back to Las Vegas, Back to San Diego (Jesus, they just kept going back to places?), St. Thomas, or Cancun, though I know Jonna and Jasmine from prior Challenges. So yeah, I don't know more than half these people. But on the plus side, 45% of the guys appear to be gay.
Right before the challenge, we're suddenly introduced to a new team -- Team Fresh Meat. Well, thank god, now I know more people. Big Easy's lost 70 pounds, but that doesn't stop him from falling into the water, quitting, and DQ'ing. Fresh Meat loses. The Power Team is Cancun, and as such they get to choose which team goes against Fresh Meat, and they choose Team Austin. The Power Team also gets to choose the type of game that's played, and they choose Physical.
The Teams each choose (or else have chosen for them) a guy and a girl to go into the... Arena, I guess? I don't know. Ever since The Hunger Games I think something called the Arena should be more awesome.
Frank is your first hot drunken mess, as he gets hilariously, slurry drunk and rages against everyone until passing out. Jonna's suddenly in love with Zach, but - shocker - she just started seeing someone. Won't stop her from calling the BF and dumping him instantly. Class.
Lacey and Wes choose to go in for Austin and Eric and Cara Maria choose to go in for Fresh Meat (well, Cara Maria has second thoughts, but, hey, she volunteered. No takebacks.).
The challenge involves the competitors tackling each other in an enclosed tube. Cara Maria wins. Then Eric wins. Because, well, it involves tackling in an enclosed tube.
Bye-bye: Lacey and Wes. That's got to be some kind of record for Wes.
Didn't see Back to New Orleans, Back to Las Vegas, Back to San Diego (Jesus, they just kept going back to places?), St. Thomas, or Cancun, though I know Jonna and Jasmine from prior Challenges. So yeah, I don't know more than half these people. But on the plus side, 45% of the guys appear to be gay.
Right before the challenge, we're suddenly introduced to a new team -- Team Fresh Meat. Well, thank god, now I know more people. Big Easy's lost 70 pounds, but that doesn't stop him from falling into the water, quitting, and DQ'ing. Fresh Meat loses. The Power Team is Cancun, and as such they get to choose which team goes against Fresh Meat, and they choose Team Austin. The Power Team also gets to choose the type of game that's played, and they choose Physical.
The Teams each choose (or else have chosen for them) a guy and a girl to go into the... Arena, I guess? I don't know. Ever since The Hunger Games I think something called the Arena should be more awesome.
Frank is your first hot drunken mess, as he gets hilariously, slurry drunk and rages against everyone until passing out. Jonna's suddenly in love with Zach, but - shocker - she just started seeing someone. Won't stop her from calling the BF and dumping him instantly. Class.
Lacey and Wes choose to go in for Austin and Eric and Cara Maria choose to go in for Fresh Meat (well, Cara Maria has second thoughts, but, hey, she volunteered. No takebacks.).
The challenge involves the competitors tackling each other in an enclosed tube. Cara Maria wins. Then Eric wins. Because, well, it involves tackling in an enclosed tube.
Bye-bye: Lacey and Wes. That's got to be some kind of record for Wes.
18 September 2012
Revolution
OK let's see if I feel like blogging this. I'd love for this show to be good, but I'm already thinking it will be craptastic.
The heroine's name is Charlie. Right off the bat, I have a problem with this show. Charlie as a girl's name is soooooo 5 years ago.
The power goes out. But not just the power, car electrical systems too. Man, we can't even have batteries? Everyone's screwed. Welcome to my worst nightmare - no air conditioning or television.
Now it's 15 years later and we're back to ye olden times, where all the kids look Amish except for Charlie, who's now hot. No one could figure out how to get electricity working? Really? There wasn't some workaround someone could devise?
Charlie and her dad live in a little makeshift village, her mom having died a few years back. OR DID SHE?
Gus Fring comes riding into town on a horse with a posse loaded up with bows and arrows, because Gus Fring is a badass. He's looking for Charlie's Dad and Charlie's Dad's brother a/k/a Bella's Dad. (Team Bella's Dad!) When Charlie's Brother, Danny, gets pissed and threatens Gus, chaos ensues, Danny is taken away by Gus, and Charlie's Dad is shot and killed, dying with enough time to tell Charlie to find Bella's Dad in Chicago.
Charlie, her stepmom-ish person, and the Nerdy Hipster Guy head out of the village. You know, for the power being out, people sure don't look very dirty. Nerdy Hipster Guy earns his nickname -- turns out he used to work for Google and was worth $80 million. Well then, his life sucks now. Did I mention NHG was given an emulet/flash drive by Charlie's Dad and that it contains something ~*~secretive~*~? The trio make it to O'Hare and take a nap on a crashed plane, are attacked by randoms, and are saved by a dark, "handsome" stranger, Nate.
In 15 years would Wrigley Field already be overgrown with forest, like an ancient ruin? I just don't buy it. Chicago's looking hella old time, part Wild West, part Renaissance -- it's a weird vibe. They find Bella's Dad easily enough, tending bar. See -- there are bars. They can make booze? I find it hard to believe cities would just be overrun with flora and fauna. But I guess we have our priorities straight.
Gus works for whoever is in charge of the militia and they want to know how to get the power back on. They think Charlie's Dad and Bella's Dad both knew why it went off and how to fix it. Bella's Dad is the kind of guy who plays by his own rules and doesn't want to help Charlie. Oh and Nate ends up being militia. He comes back to get Bella's Dad with a bunch of militia thugs. Too bad for them Bella's Dad is a goddamn ninja assassin. He kills them all except Nate, who saves Charlie from a soldier and then runs off. Okaaaayyyy.
Monroe, the Head Militia Dude? Used to be Bella's Dad's BFF. He's in a big tented camp, with ice in his drink so that bastard figured something out.
OK, so Danny is a boring pain in the ass. I mean, dull and stupid. He escapes from Gus Fring but then is recaptured by Gus. I can already tell he's going to be the lamest thing ever. Also, Charlie is pretty damn boring herself. I'll watch for Bella's Dad, Nerdy Hipster Guy, and Gus Fring.
Oh wait - the dun-dun-DUN moment -- When Danny was escaped for 4 minutes he was taken in by some random chick. That chick turns out to have her own emulet/flash drive thing, puts it in a computer, and types out a message: "The militia was here." See? Dun-dun-DUNNNNNN.
The heroine's name is Charlie. Right off the bat, I have a problem with this show. Charlie as a girl's name is soooooo 5 years ago.
The power goes out. But not just the power, car electrical systems too. Man, we can't even have batteries? Everyone's screwed. Welcome to my worst nightmare - no air conditioning or television.
Now it's 15 years later and we're back to ye olden times, where all the kids look Amish except for Charlie, who's now hot. No one could figure out how to get electricity working? Really? There wasn't some workaround someone could devise?
Charlie and her dad live in a little makeshift village, her mom having died a few years back. OR DID SHE?
Gus Fring comes riding into town on a horse with a posse loaded up with bows and arrows, because Gus Fring is a badass. He's looking for Charlie's Dad and Charlie's Dad's brother a/k/a Bella's Dad. (Team Bella's Dad!) When Charlie's Brother, Danny, gets pissed and threatens Gus, chaos ensues, Danny is taken away by Gus, and Charlie's Dad is shot and killed, dying with enough time to tell Charlie to find Bella's Dad in Chicago.
Charlie, her stepmom-ish person, and the Nerdy Hipster Guy head out of the village. You know, for the power being out, people sure don't look very dirty. Nerdy Hipster Guy earns his nickname -- turns out he used to work for Google and was worth $80 million. Well then, his life sucks now. Did I mention NHG was given an emulet/flash drive by Charlie's Dad and that it contains something ~*~secretive~*~? The trio make it to O'Hare and take a nap on a crashed plane, are attacked by randoms, and are saved by a dark, "handsome" stranger, Nate.
In 15 years would Wrigley Field already be overgrown with forest, like an ancient ruin? I just don't buy it. Chicago's looking hella old time, part Wild West, part Renaissance -- it's a weird vibe. They find Bella's Dad easily enough, tending bar. See -- there are bars. They can make booze? I find it hard to believe cities would just be overrun with flora and fauna. But I guess we have our priorities straight.
Gus works for whoever is in charge of the militia and they want to know how to get the power back on. They think Charlie's Dad and Bella's Dad both knew why it went off and how to fix it. Bella's Dad is the kind of guy who plays by his own rules and doesn't want to help Charlie. Oh and Nate ends up being militia. He comes back to get Bella's Dad with a bunch of militia thugs. Too bad for them Bella's Dad is a goddamn ninja assassin. He kills them all except Nate, who saves Charlie from a soldier and then runs off. Okaaaayyyy.
Monroe, the Head Militia Dude? Used to be Bella's Dad's BFF. He's in a big tented camp, with ice in his drink so that bastard figured something out.
OK, so Danny is a boring pain in the ass. I mean, dull and stupid. He escapes from Gus Fring but then is recaptured by Gus. I can already tell he's going to be the lamest thing ever. Also, Charlie is pretty damn boring herself. I'll watch for Bella's Dad, Nerdy Hipster Guy, and Gus Fring.
Oh wait - the dun-dun-DUN moment -- When Danny was escaped for 4 minutes he was taken in by some random chick. That chick turns out to have her own emulet/flash drive thing, puts it in a computer, and types out a message: "The militia was here." See? Dun-dun-DUNNNNNN.
06 September 2012
Whyyyyy?
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are calling it quits.
The comedic stars, who wed in August 2003, are ending their marriage, a rep for both actors confirms to PEOPLE. The couple are parents to two sons – Archie, 3½, and Abel, 2.
And their kids are so cute and moppish - one's a ginger!! This stinks.
04 September 2012
Lawless is Pointless
I saw Lawless yesterday and haven't been compelled to write a review. A pointless movie on a pointless blog - what's the point? Lawless is a movie that just is -- it has no substance that stays with you, the story's not very compelling, there's nothing memorable about it. It's cool to watch olde timey moonshiners in action - I guess? It's violent, but even that wasn't very exciting. Hell, I'm putting the poster of Gary Oldman on this post because I forgot (in the last 24 hours, mind you) that he was even in the movie. Didn't amount to much screen time and wasn't memorable, so what the hell's the point of using Gary Oldman?See it if you're a big Shia LaBeouf fan, I guess. Tom Hardy's fine, but he just kind of grumbles and snorts his way through the movie; his character doesn't have much personality. The movie didn't really go anywhere. Again, I just didn't see the point. So you can feel good about skipping this one, unless you're hella into moonshining and Shia LaBeouf. Then have at it and enjoy.
02 September 2012
Breaking Bad
Last week still hurts. R.I.P. Mike. But thank you, Vince Gilligan, for giving me Jonathan Banks. Love.
I think all Breaking Bad finales should fall on holiday eves. I probably won't be able to sleep afterward anyway, might as well get the day off.
Mike's in the trunk and it's up to Walter and Todd to give him the ol' acid-and-barrel funeral. Sooner or later, everyone ends up in a barrel. Jesse shows up, but doesn't see Mike. Walter says he's handling the situation with the 9 guys in prison. Jesse really needs to just leave the ABQ. Sweetie, seriously, just go. Now.
Dennis the laundry manager is ready to make a deal with Hank.
Heisenberg walks in to a restaurant to meet with Lydia, sunglasses and all. Walt's there to get the list of names. Really, dude? What are you going to do, kill them all? Ass. But first, Lydia lays out a business plan -- she's ready to take this thing international -- time to bring meth to the Czech Republic. He's in. She gives him the names. Walter had the ricin capsule under his hat the whole time. But I guess the prospect of international diversification was enough to allow Lydia to live. The ricin capsule goes back behind an electrical outlet faceplate.
Remember Todd's uncle with the prison connections? That's who's tapped to kill off all the dudes. He and his boys (including Devil!!) make the plans to hit the guys in all their separate prisons. Whacking bin Laden wasn't this complicated. Everyone gets viciously shivved, except Dennis, who gets burned the eff up.
Walter's at Marie's with the baby when Hank comes home, despondent that his case just got effed. Poor Hank. I officially want him to find Walter out and win.
Time for a back-to-business montage. Walter and Todd cook, Lydia flies the meth out of the country, and Skyler launders the fat stacks. Rinse, repeat. 3 months passes. Marie's ready for the kids to go home already. Marie's a saint. I wouldn't watch my sister's effing kids for 3 months just so she can run a car wash.
Skyler takes Walter to a storage facility. Inside is all the money she can't launder. Tons of it. She doesn't even know how much there is. Fat. Stacks. She wants her kids and her life back, so she wants Walter to see that he has enough goddamn money already.
When we get back from break, Walter's at the doctor again. No follow up on that yet.
Just when I was hoping Jesse would just disappear from the story altogether (because that's actual preferable to how things are probably going to end), Walter pays him a visit. There's a bong so he's getting high again. :(
The boys reminisce about their RV. Oh man, those were some good times. Walter gives Jesse his $5 million. That's true love right there.
We see Jesse had a gun on him the whole time. You know, just in cases. Walter goes home and tells Skyler, "I'm out." Man, don't you wish the show would just end here? I kind of do. Except not really. Because I'm a glutton for punishment and I was to sufferrrrrrr.
Hank goes to take a crap during dinner at the White house. And what does he find on the back of the toilet? Leaves of Grass, inscribed to W.W. from G.B. OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT SONNNNNNNN IT'S ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
I think all Breaking Bad finales should fall on holiday eves. I probably won't be able to sleep afterward anyway, might as well get the day off.
Mike's in the trunk and it's up to Walter and Todd to give him the ol' acid-and-barrel funeral. Sooner or later, everyone ends up in a barrel. Jesse shows up, but doesn't see Mike. Walter says he's handling the situation with the 9 guys in prison. Jesse really needs to just leave the ABQ. Sweetie, seriously, just go. Now.
Dennis the laundry manager is ready to make a deal with Hank.
Heisenberg walks in to a restaurant to meet with Lydia, sunglasses and all. Walt's there to get the list of names. Really, dude? What are you going to do, kill them all? Ass. But first, Lydia lays out a business plan -- she's ready to take this thing international -- time to bring meth to the Czech Republic. He's in. She gives him the names. Walter had the ricin capsule under his hat the whole time. But I guess the prospect of international diversification was enough to allow Lydia to live. The ricin capsule goes back behind an electrical outlet faceplate.
Remember Todd's uncle with the prison connections? That's who's tapped to kill off all the dudes. He and his boys (including Devil!!) make the plans to hit the guys in all their separate prisons. Whacking bin Laden wasn't this complicated. Everyone gets viciously shivved, except Dennis, who gets burned the eff up.
Walter's at Marie's with the baby when Hank comes home, despondent that his case just got effed. Poor Hank. I officially want him to find Walter out and win.
Time for a back-to-business montage. Walter and Todd cook, Lydia flies the meth out of the country, and Skyler launders the fat stacks. Rinse, repeat. 3 months passes. Marie's ready for the kids to go home already. Marie's a saint. I wouldn't watch my sister's effing kids for 3 months just so she can run a car wash.
Skyler takes Walter to a storage facility. Inside is all the money she can't launder. Tons of it. She doesn't even know how much there is. Fat. Stacks. She wants her kids and her life back, so she wants Walter to see that he has enough goddamn money already.
When we get back from break, Walter's at the doctor again. No follow up on that yet.
Just when I was hoping Jesse would just disappear from the story altogether (because that's actual preferable to how things are probably going to end), Walter pays him a visit. There's a bong so he's getting high again. :(
The boys reminisce about their RV. Oh man, those were some good times. Walter gives Jesse his $5 million. That's true love right there.
We see Jesse had a gun on him the whole time. You know, just in cases. Walter goes home and tells Skyler, "I'm out." Man, don't you wish the show would just end here? I kind of do. Except not really. Because I'm a glutton for punishment and I was to sufferrrrrrr.
Hank goes to take a crap during dinner at the White house. And what does he find on the back of the toilet? Leaves of Grass, inscribed to W.W. from G.B. OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT SONNNNNNNN IT'S ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
26 August 2012
Breaking Bad
When we last left Walter, he was claiming everyone would win. But we know better, right? Mike drives the Three Musketeers out into the desert to meet the methylamine buyers. Or would-be buyers, as Walter tells them they can't have it. But he offers them 35% of his business if they work as his distributors. He makes Classic Coke, not their generic-cola, dyed-blue crap.
Mike gets his $5 million and Declan's crew gets his share of the business. Jesse tries to remind Walter that he's out too, but Walter wants a transition period. Even in the meth business, you gotta give your two weeks' notice. Poor kid ain't getting out....
Mike says his goodbyes and tells the guys to get the bug out of Hank's office. The attorney distributes the legacy costs to his guys' safety deposit boxes, and leaves a big old stack in a box for Mike's granddaughter's 18th birthday. Mike overhears the DEA saying they have a search warrant, so he tosses his laptop and a million guns into a well and parks a car at the airport.
Back to poor Jesse... Walter just won't let him talk. Walter wants to give Jesse his own lab and his own cook so they can cook twice as much. Jesse wants out. Walter asks him what he'd do other than video games and go-karts, and probably using drugs again. Jesus. Walter says Jesse shouldn't have the money, because it's filthy blood money, right? So why not stay and make more? Jesse doesn't need your money, asshole!! Jesse awesomely walks out while Walter stands alone, yelling that he's getting nothing.
Walter starts a cook with Todd. Oh god. Those 2 deserve each other.
Over in DEA land, Hank's not doing so great at the new job, not timely filing his reports and wasting time on Mike. He decides to start tracking the attorney instead. The attorney makes another drop at the bank, but this time Gomez is waiting for him. Drat. Walter pays Hank a visit to cry some more about Skyler and then remove the bugs. He also overhears Gomez tell Hank that the attorney is going to flip and give up Mike. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! This can only mean one thing....
Walter gives Mike the heads-up that the DEA is coming to get him at the park where he's watching his granddaughter, then he and Jesse meet with Saul to review options. Saul's hilariously offended that Mike used another lawyer to move the money. Mike calls and asks Saul to get his go-bag from the airport parking garage. Jesse wants to deliver it because he's sweet, but Walter does. There's a gun in the bag. Of course there is. Christ on a bike I can't watch this!!!
Walter wants the names of Mike's guys, but Mike just lays Walter out for ruining the good thing they all had going. Of course Walter runs after Mike and shoots him. They made me all excited too, thinking he was getting away. Instead, Mike just sits by a river, bleeding out. Walter finds him and is all, Oh nevermind, Lydia has the names, I can get them from her. Mike tells him to shut up so he can die in peace. Awesome til the end. Mike falls over. I am sad.
R.I.P. Mike you were THE SHIT!!!
Mike gets his $5 million and Declan's crew gets his share of the business. Jesse tries to remind Walter that he's out too, but Walter wants a transition period. Even in the meth business, you gotta give your two weeks' notice. Poor kid ain't getting out....
Mike says his goodbyes and tells the guys to get the bug out of Hank's office. The attorney distributes the legacy costs to his guys' safety deposit boxes, and leaves a big old stack in a box for Mike's granddaughter's 18th birthday. Mike overhears the DEA saying they have a search warrant, so he tosses his laptop and a million guns into a well and parks a car at the airport.
Back to poor Jesse... Walter just won't let him talk. Walter wants to give Jesse his own lab and his own cook so they can cook twice as much. Jesse wants out. Walter asks him what he'd do other than video games and go-karts, and probably using drugs again. Jesus. Walter says Jesse shouldn't have the money, because it's filthy blood money, right? So why not stay and make more? Jesse doesn't need your money, asshole!! Jesse awesomely walks out while Walter stands alone, yelling that he's getting nothing.
Walter starts a cook with Todd. Oh god. Those 2 deserve each other.
Over in DEA land, Hank's not doing so great at the new job, not timely filing his reports and wasting time on Mike. He decides to start tracking the attorney instead. The attorney makes another drop at the bank, but this time Gomez is waiting for him. Drat. Walter pays Hank a visit to cry some more about Skyler and then remove the bugs. He also overhears Gomez tell Hank that the attorney is going to flip and give up Mike. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! This can only mean one thing....
Walter gives Mike the heads-up that the DEA is coming to get him at the park where he's watching his granddaughter, then he and Jesse meet with Saul to review options. Saul's hilariously offended that Mike used another lawyer to move the money. Mike calls and asks Saul to get his go-bag from the airport parking garage. Jesse wants to deliver it because he's sweet, but Walter does. There's a gun in the bag. Of course there is. Christ on a bike I can't watch this!!!
Walter wants the names of Mike's guys, but Mike just lays Walter out for ruining the good thing they all had going. Of course Walter runs after Mike and shoots him. They made me all excited too, thinking he was getting away. Instead, Mike just sits by a river, bleeding out. Walter finds him and is all, Oh nevermind, Lydia has the names, I can get them from her. Mike tells him to shut up so he can die in peace. Awesome til the end. Mike falls over. I am sad.
R.I.P. Mike you were THE SHIT!!!
EXTREME Weekend!!!!
It's Hurricane Isaac weekend here in South Florida, so what better time to catch up on a buttload of movies before being trapped in your house for a day or 2? P.S.: That picture of Isaac is from Wednesday's forecast, when he was destined for my house. Now we're pretty much just getting a Tropical Storm. Being the movie geek I am, I paraphrased Lt. Aldo Raine from Inglourious Basterds yesterday when I said, "More like rained on. I've been rained on before." I think I'm going to have to watch that movie again today....
First up on Friday night was Premium Rush. This is a movie about EXTREME bike messengers. Really. It's fine. I mean, was it supposed to be amazing? No. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt's in it and he's pretty. Unfortunately for the movie, biking looks ridiculous when you see a lot of it. I mean, his little legs moving up and down the whole time. It's comical. Also, on bikes, no matter how fast they're going -- they're still bikes! So slow "chases." And WTF is up with Michael Shannon and his scenery-chewing bullshit? I know he's supposed to be a good actor, but I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Was he doing it tongue-in-cheek or was he being serious? Either way, ick. Also, the musical score was awful and when a movie score stands out that's bad -- you're not supposed to notice it. It was bizarre. Anyway, it was fine.
Next up on Saturday was the very definition of an EXTREME action movie - The Expendables 2. Dude. I mean, you sit there rolling your eyes at the dialogue and yet who gives a shit when you have Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting side-by-side and mowing down guys with machine guns? And you get 3 awesome Jean-Claude Van Damme roundhouse kicks. How can you not love that? Stallone fighting with chains. Statham throwing knives. Then Chuck Norris rolls in totally randomly and makes Chuck Norris jokes. Everyone saying each other's catch phrases. (OK, that's I can do without.) It's a fun movie to watch. If you don't pop a couple boners during it, you're not human.I closed out the weekend seeing The Bourne Legacy again because Mike hadn't seen it yet, and it could have been my last night on earth so I wanted to spend it wisely. I liked it better the second time, likely because I knew to expect a slow start and less Jeremy Renner than you would think a Jeremy Renner movie would contain. Of all of these EXTREME movies, this one is definitely the most realistic. Those old guys don't do their own stunts in the same way Renner does. JCVD's roundhouse kicks were done in such a way that I pictured him doing one, then taking a 15 minute break, then doing the next one. Punch, break, punch, break, duck, break, heavily edit. The old men just aren't as ferocious as they used to be.
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