G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Yeah, I saw G.I. Joe: Retaliation on Easter morning.  No church for me, thanks.  Truth be told, it was more Mike's pick than mine, but it's not like I protested.  I'm always up for some mindless gun porn entertainment.

And that's exactly what it was.  Do you want to see The Rock walk around explosions in slow motion? If you're an American, the answer is yes.  Do you want to see guns, guns, and more guns?  Duh.  Do you want to see Bruce Willis sleepwalk his way through a role that, well, doesn't really require anything more than sleepwalking? Of course you do.  What's not to love about all of these things?  Swords and stunts and explosions and rock music and fighting for "America."  Love it.

Just don't expect a riveting plot.  Or a movie that doesn't feel like it's 2 different movies going on concurrently.  Or The Rock to cover up his arms.  Cuz it ain't happening.

Oh wait - best of all - Walton Goggins is in it.  Boyd Crowder lights up any movie he's in.

Justified

So this episode's going to be about the Marshals trying to leave Harlan alive with Drew Thompson, also alive.  And the Detroit Mafia trying to get Drew, likely alive or dead.

Tonin's man is knocking the teeth out of Boyd's mouth, but Boyd can still talk his way into helping him get around Harlan.  Boyd sends Colt to go get Drew.

The Marshal Convoy (a decoy, Drew is still back with Raylan and Rachel) starts out, but PTSD Tim feels like it's an IED trap, so they stop.  And indeed, Colt has Tonin's sniper on them.  After some witty repartee, Tim ends up protected and with them in his gun sights.  Booyah.  Then Tim and Art blow up the IED-laden car parked nearby so that they can escape.

Boyd figures out Raylan's holed up in their old high school.  Because Boyd just has that sixth sense when it comes to his BFF.

Another of Tonin's guy's finds Patton Oswalt at Arlo's house and tries to beat Raylan's location out of him.  Beats the holy hell out of him!  Patton stabs him through a nice juicy artery just as Raylan shows up.  Raylan brings Patton back to the school with him.

The mafia helicopter lands and Boyd and one of Tonin's guys enter.  Boyd can't talk Raylan out, so they call for backup.  They have a quick standoff, but then Art and Tim show up.  And anyway, Rachel and Drew are on the way out of Harlan - via a train.

This episode was chock full of awesome dialogue and chess-playing.  Loved it.

Justified

The Hunt for Drew Thompson has become the Hunt for Shelby.  He's headed to Mexico with Ellen May, but the airport and roadblocks don't work out.  So Ellen May heads to see Limehouse for protection.  Bubba!!!  Aw, man, remember when this show was awesome?  If the ghost of Mags Bennett comes back we can all be happy!

Boyd figures they're with Bubba and sends Ava.  Bubba's gonna charge them $150,000 for each.  But when Boyd brings the money, Bubba says he has to choose one of them.  That's a good dilemma!  Ava forces Boyd to take Shelby and leave Ellen May behind.

So now it's up to Colt to turn Shelby over to the Detroit Mafia.  Well, that's not going to go well.  Plus, Johnny made a deal with Raylan to let him know where Shelby's being picked up.  How does Boyd not yet know he can't trust Johnny?

The helicopter lands to get Shelby but then the Marshals show up.  Oh poor Boyd, everything's gone to shit.  Again.  Now everyone's trying to get out of Harlan before Tonin shows up.

Well, I enjoyed seeing Limehouse again and the ending was pretty badass.  And there was lots of good, bantery dialogue this week -- Art admiring Drew for pulling off this "badass shit," Raylan realizing he's become a frequent visitor of a whorehouse.  But screw Cousin Johnny.  For real.

Justified

So last week everyone died, but not anyone who meant much, other than Arlo.

Tim's dead friend texted him before he got dead, leading Tim to know it was Boyd's War Buddy.

Raylan picks Hunter up to transport him to his other prison.  He takes him to Wynn Duffy's RV instead, trying to get Hunter to give up Drew Thompson.  Hunter would rather die than give up Drew.

Boyd and Ava are house shopping, and it's a big-ass house (one Ava's momma used to clean).  Naturally, the real estate lady doesn't think they can afford it.  Boyd has a briefcase of cash, bitch.

Jurassic Park Preacher's sister comes to Ava's whorehouse looking for Ellen May, because EM called the church asking for guidance... yesterday.   Oops.  Ava and Boyd call Boyd's War Buddy in for a meeting, but Boyd trusts him when he says the Church Lady must be lying.  The guys go off in search of Church Lady, with Tim following Colt.  Boyd comes back after not finding her where he looked, and Cousin Johnny tells him Ellen May ain't dead.

Colt gets high and finds Church Lady.  He'd choke her to death if Tim wasn't there to butt in.  Boyd arrives and gets Tim to let him have Colt so he can resolve the situation.  Resolution involves a stern lecture until he confesses.  Gunplay blue balls!  He tells Boyd that he even had Shelby trying to look for her.  So Boyd heads to Shelby's house to see what he knows, but Raylan, Tim, and the gang are there because they're waiting for Shelby to show up....

Shelby is Drew, which was obvious I suppose and now it makes sense why he's been hanging around and interested in Drew Thompson for no real reason.  Not that any of this makes sense.  Why do I care about Drew Thompson again!?