Our Gang of Idiots is in Philly, so Gus Fring thinks Monroe should beat cheeks to Boston for a while. Fool, Monroe don't run.
Gus Fring finds the crew hiding out in a friendly house. Bella's Dad has gone to do whatever it is he needs to do, so he's not there. Charlie is thrown into a cell with her mom, who recognizes her instantly by her voice. And appearance. A daughter who was, like, 10 last time they saw each other. I guess a mother always knows. Then they get reunited with Boring Danny too. It's boring. Monroe's all, "Hey, Charlie's Mom, are you enjoying the family reunion? Make me some power, bitch, or choose which one of your kids dies."
Bella's Dad, meanwhile, is in Gus Fring's house with a sword to his wife's neck. Nice. He wants his family back. If that was really Gus Fring, he'd be all, "Cut that bitch's head off." But it's not, so instead he says hold on a second, I'll get your friends. And then he tells them where to find Charlie and Boring Danny.
Our flashbacks are meant to show us how much Monroe and Bella's Dad are in love, and make us feel sympathy for Monroe, whose family was killed in a car accident. We're also hammered over the head with Johnny Crowder being creepy. We get it. He's a cartoon psychopath. Charlie's Mom kills him.
Danny and Charlie escape from their cell, because it's what they do. And Bella's Dad and his Hot Latina GF are breaking in to find them at the same time. Bella's Dad's sword saves the day again. So at last they've found Danny... but now they have to get Mom! At least that happens quicker than the 8-year ordeal to find Danny.
Time for the Miles and Monroe faceoff!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! Monroe's all, We were BFFs, man, what the eff? Monroe won't kill him, he wants him back. Aw, how sweet. I should be getting a strong gay vibe off this show, but unfortunately it's not good enough for me to. I just don't care. Make out, then maybe I will. Or shoot him in the face, then things can get interesting.
Bella's Dad is all, You're nothing to me; I should have killed you the first time. FISTFIGHT!!!!!! Then - shocker - SWORDFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's decent too, until it ends when Bella's Dad runs away. Everyone gets out alive -- and then a helicopter takes off. Charlie's Mom really should have sabotaged that power device after killing that dude....
Showing posts with label Revolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Revolution. Show all posts
27 November 2012
20 November 2012
Revolution
Bella's Dad is the shit, with his sword and his rugged leather coat. He is the ONLY thing tolerable about this damn show.
Our Gang of Idiots have teamed up with some Rebels and are walking through the train tunnels to Philly. Charlie steps on a landmine. YAY!!! Blow up, Charlie!! Shocker, Charlie tells them all to leave and, shocker, they won't. Tragically, they all escape the explosion, but now there is literally no turning back, as the tunnel behind them is blocked.
Charlie's Mom is building some machine and explains to a new Militia guy (and therefore the audience) that the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant is like a wireless battery that powers small appliances, like CD players featuring plugs for Led Zeppelin albums, and works only within a short range. Her machine will be an amplifier so it can work up to 1/2 a mile and power larger things... like missiles. But Gus Fring is suspicious of her and sends in a guy for a second opinion. She's not making an amplifier -- she's making a bomb. Now that's clever. She also kills the second-opinion guy so that they need her to build the amplifier for real now. Are you sure you're related to Charlie? (And do you think you're Walter White?)
Our Gang of Idiots are slowly suffocating because the rubble from the explosion also cut off their air supply. And we know this because they are starting to hallucinate. But just for a little while, and then they conveniently stop. They can breathe fine though. I need a doctor to tell me if this is possible, thank you. There also seems to be a lot of air in those great big tunnels. But whatever.
Bella's Dad's hallucination features the music of Led Zeppelin and a visit from Monroe. Have you heard they have some greatest hits album out or something? That's the rumor. Why does Monroe look like he wants to bang Bella's Dad? I'd totally watch that show. Please.
Nerdy Hipster Guy sees his wife, who is the boring nag she always was. Good thing they find a door and get some air, but then a Rebel guy they're traveling with is suddenly actually Militia and kills everyone who isn't in the main cast (dagger!) and takes Bella's Dad. Then Charlie shoots the Militia guy and he gets a shot off at her as he goes down. YAAAYYYY! We're then treated to Charlie dreaming about her Dad being alive and Miles trying to wake her up, mostly by yelling, "Wake up!" Go to the light, Charlie!!! Ugh this show slows down so much when it's about Charlie, especially when she utters the word, "Danny." She wakes up. The bullet just grazed her head. Shit.
I'm pretty sure after next week we don't get another episode of Revolution for 4 months. This is going to be the Greatest 4 Months of My Life.
Our Gang of Idiots have teamed up with some Rebels and are walking through the train tunnels to Philly. Charlie steps on a landmine. YAY!!! Blow up, Charlie!! Shocker, Charlie tells them all to leave and, shocker, they won't. Tragically, they all escape the explosion, but now there is literally no turning back, as the tunnel behind them is blocked.
Charlie's Mom is building some machine and explains to a new Militia guy (and therefore the audience) that the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant is like a wireless battery that powers small appliances, like CD players featuring plugs for Led Zeppelin albums, and works only within a short range. Her machine will be an amplifier so it can work up to 1/2 a mile and power larger things... like missiles. But Gus Fring is suspicious of her and sends in a guy for a second opinion. She's not making an amplifier -- she's making a bomb. Now that's clever. She also kills the second-opinion guy so that they need her to build the amplifier for real now. Are you sure you're related to Charlie? (And do you think you're Walter White?)
Our Gang of Idiots are slowly suffocating because the rubble from the explosion also cut off their air supply. And we know this because they are starting to hallucinate. But just for a little while, and then they conveniently stop. They can breathe fine though. I need a doctor to tell me if this is possible, thank you. There also seems to be a lot of air in those great big tunnels. But whatever.
Bella's Dad's hallucination features the music of Led Zeppelin and a visit from Monroe. Have you heard they have some greatest hits album out or something? That's the rumor. Why does Monroe look like he wants to bang Bella's Dad? I'd totally watch that show. Please.
Nerdy Hipster Guy sees his wife, who is the boring nag she always was. Good thing they find a door and get some air, but then a Rebel guy they're traveling with is suddenly actually Militia and kills everyone who isn't in the main cast (dagger!) and takes Bella's Dad. Then Charlie shoots the Militia guy and he gets a shot off at her as he goes down. YAAAYYYY! We're then treated to Charlie dreaming about her Dad being alive and Miles trying to wake her up, mostly by yelling, "Wake up!" Go to the light, Charlie!!! Ugh this show slows down so much when it's about Charlie, especially when she utters the word, "Danny." She wakes up. The bullet just grazed her head. Shit.
I'm pretty sure after next week we don't get another episode of Revolution for 4 months. This is going to be the Greatest 4 Months of My Life.
14 November 2012
Revolution
Our band of idiots buys their way across a Militia bridge near Philly and right into Johnny Crowder's trap. They run and escape, because it's what they do. Then Johnny brings out Nora's sister to try to get them to surrender. I don't care about Nora, I care even less about her sister. It takes a matter of moments for the band of idiots to mix up some explosives and free her sister. Well, that was easy. Then the sister is going to split, because Nora would rather stay with these idiots than go with her sister to see their father. Nora is dumb. Charlie releases Nora of her "contract" and the sisters walk off together, to Texas. Bye, dummies.
AHAHAHAHAHA Nora's sister played her -- she was working for Johnny Crowder and stole the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant for him and led the band of idiots into a(nother) trap. She even lied about finding their father. AHAHAHA this bitch is awesome.
Well of course Nora goes back to rescue the idiots and of course there is swordfighting. But they don't rescue the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant, and now Monroe has it.
Also over in Militia-land, Monroe plans to banish Gus Fring's son to California. Gus won't let that happen -- he gets some convenient dirt on another officer's son who is a rebel. He tells Monroe, and in exchange for the favor, his son gets to stick around. In other news, Gus Fring's wife wants his ass to be in charge.
Our cliffhanger involves some people in some giant crappy bluescreen tracking Flash Drive Pendants all over the country. OK whatever. This show. Stinks.
AHAHAHAHAHA Nora's sister played her -- she was working for Johnny Crowder and stole the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant for him and led the band of idiots into a(nother) trap. She even lied about finding their father. AHAHAHA this bitch is awesome.
Well of course Nora goes back to rescue the idiots and of course there is swordfighting. But they don't rescue the Mystical Flash Drive Pendant, and now Monroe has it.
Also over in Militia-land, Monroe plans to banish Gus Fring's son to California. Gus won't let that happen -- he gets some convenient dirt on another officer's son who is a rebel. He tells Monroe, and in exchange for the favor, his son gets to stick around. In other news, Gus Fring's wife wants his ass to be in charge.
Our cliffhanger involves some people in some giant crappy bluescreen tracking Flash Drive Pendants all over the country. OK whatever. This show. Stinks.
06 November 2012
Revolution
We open with Charlie getting branded with the Monroe insignia. Nice. Two days earlier....
The crew is ambushed by a ragtag group of kids not seen since Children of the Corn. They're looking for a kid who was taken by the Militia. Blah blah kids making a society blah blah no parents blah blah find brothers blah blah. Everyone bands together to rescue the kid, who is being forced, along with other kids, to train for the Militia.
Monroe has been torturing someone Charlie's Mom knows for one of those Mystical Flash Drive Pendants. Charlie's Mom tries to get the guy to tell her where it is, but she sucks at it, so the guy knows she's a spy. When he still won't talk, Gus Fring brings in the guy's daughter.
Flashback to Charlie's parents -- they had a company that developed a way to inhibit electricity. Last time I checked, it's called A POWER BUTTON. Maybe a lightswitch. The Department of Defense is interested in it. In the same way they're interested in $900 toilets. Also, we find out Danny had some kind of condition while his mom was carrying him, and he was all weakened and stuff, which explains his dishrag-ness. And the DoD offered to help the baby in exchange for their cooperation.
So Charlie gets captured because that's just what she does. And she's brought into the training, or at least the orientation, wherein they are beaten to death if they try to leave. And also where you get branded.
Bella's Dad comes to rescue Charlie because that's just what he does. And there is swordfighting. Naturally. Also, in the midst of things, Nerdy Hipster Guy's Mystical Flash Drive Pendant goes off and gets electricity going for minute again.
The end. This show stinks.....
The crew is ambushed by a ragtag group of kids not seen since Children of the Corn. They're looking for a kid who was taken by the Militia. Blah blah kids making a society blah blah no parents blah blah find brothers blah blah. Everyone bands together to rescue the kid, who is being forced, along with other kids, to train for the Militia.
Monroe has been torturing someone Charlie's Mom knows for one of those Mystical Flash Drive Pendants. Charlie's Mom tries to get the guy to tell her where it is, but she sucks at it, so the guy knows she's a spy. When he still won't talk, Gus Fring brings in the guy's daughter.
Flashback to Charlie's parents -- they had a company that developed a way to inhibit electricity. Last time I checked, it's called A POWER BUTTON. Maybe a lightswitch. The Department of Defense is interested in it. In the same way they're interested in $900 toilets. Also, we find out Danny had some kind of condition while his mom was carrying him, and he was all weakened and stuff, which explains his dishrag-ness. And the DoD offered to help the baby in exchange for their cooperation.
So Charlie gets captured because that's just what she does. And she's brought into the training, or at least the orientation, wherein they are beaten to death if they try to leave. And also where you get branded.
Bella's Dad comes to rescue Charlie because that's just what he does. And there is swordfighting. Naturally. Also, in the midst of things, Nerdy Hipster Guy's Mystical Flash Drive Pendant goes off and gets electricity going for minute again.
The end. This show stinks.....
30 October 2012
Revolution
I think it was Jim Gaffigan who Tweeted something like, "I hope this whole Hurricane Sandy thing isn't a giant promo for Revolution." You know, I wouldn't put it past NBC.
Gus Fring brings Danny to Monroe. Johnny Crowder, the sadist interrogator, is sent after Our Gang.
Charlie, Bella's Dad, and Nerdy Hipster Guy are speeding off in a horse-drawn carriage with Nora in the back with her infected stab wound. They go to some guy's mansion, a guy that Bella's Dad knew from his Militia days. He's got a doctor in the basement who does a blood transfusion from Bella's Dad to Nora. Meanwhile, Charlie takes a bath and then freaks out and rips apart all of her postcards. She's just the worst. The dude who owns the house is a bona fide creepy whackjob who peddles heroin and whores. In exchange for his kindness, the dude wants Charlie to kill someone who has been burning his heroin. So Charlie has to wear a dress and pretend to be an abused whore to get into the guy's compound.
Of course, Bella's Dad won't let Charlie be in any danger, so he does some swordfighting (naturally) and stops her from killing the guy. Because the editing on this show is THE WORST, now Creepy Whackjob Dude has Nora and Nerdy Hipster Guy and is going to make them duel. An old-school gun duel on his front yard. NHG fakes shooting himself in the heart (by shooting a flask in his pocket) and then actually shoots Creepy Whackjob Dude. R.I.P. Creepy Whackjob Dude.
This week's flashback offers us a look at Nerdy Hipster Guy and his wife post-blackout. It's pretty much what you'd expect, with NHG being totally inept and not at all tough. And he left his wife with a group they were traveling with because he felt so inadequate. Loser.
In the end, Danny is reunited with his mother. I hope she's not disappointed in what a wet dishrag of a man he is.
Gus Fring brings Danny to Monroe. Johnny Crowder, the sadist interrogator, is sent after Our Gang.
Charlie, Bella's Dad, and Nerdy Hipster Guy are speeding off in a horse-drawn carriage with Nora in the back with her infected stab wound. They go to some guy's mansion, a guy that Bella's Dad knew from his Militia days. He's got a doctor in the basement who does a blood transfusion from Bella's Dad to Nora. Meanwhile, Charlie takes a bath and then freaks out and rips apart all of her postcards. She's just the worst. The dude who owns the house is a bona fide creepy whackjob who peddles heroin and whores. In exchange for his kindness, the dude wants Charlie to kill someone who has been burning his heroin. So Charlie has to wear a dress and pretend to be an abused whore to get into the guy's compound.
Of course, Bella's Dad won't let Charlie be in any danger, so he does some swordfighting (naturally) and stops her from killing the guy. Because the editing on this show is THE WORST, now Creepy Whackjob Dude has Nora and Nerdy Hipster Guy and is going to make them duel. An old-school gun duel on his front yard. NHG fakes shooting himself in the heart (by shooting a flask in his pocket) and then actually shoots Creepy Whackjob Dude. R.I.P. Creepy Whackjob Dude.
This week's flashback offers us a look at Nerdy Hipster Guy and his wife post-blackout. It's pretty much what you'd expect, with NHG being totally inept and not at all tough. And he left his wife with a group they were traveling with because he felt so inadequate. Loser.
In the end, Danny is reunited with his mother. I hope she's not disappointed in what a wet dishrag of a man he is.
16 October 2012
Revolution
Gus Fring is hosting his own Fight Club. Honestly. He beats the crap out of Boring Danny. Which should be awesome, but Shirtless Gus Fring is creepy. Our flashbacks this week show Gus before the blackout when he was a regular joe, kind of a corporate idiot whose neighbors take advantage of him and he just passive-aggressively deals with life. Reminds me of when we met John Locke in flashback. Only 700% less awesome. He's also married to one of Jack Bauer's old girlfriends and has a young son. We see him go all crazy when a looter shows up to his home after the blackout. He's had enough, dammit, he's Gus Fring!
Dull British Stepmom is in the ground, so Bella's Dad says it's time to stop whining and get going. Charlie, stop whining? Right -- that'll be the day. They hear a train, and see Gus trying to get one going.
Nora goes to visit a dude named Hutch and uses the code, "I'm looking for a copy of Joe Biden's biography," which is apparently Resistance code for, "I'm cool." She wants help blowing up the train.
Charlie runs into Gus Fring then Bella's Dad comes along to have a knife fight with him and then run off. This show really sucks. It's just a bunch of shoddly-edited-together scenes. I don't get it.
So you know how Nora wants to blow up the train? Guess what Charlie's whining about -- "What if Danny's on board?" ENOUGH ABOUT DANNY! When Nora sees that Danny is indeed on the train, she wants to stop the bomb, so Hutch stabs her. Oh noooo the train is taking offfff. Whoooo cares.
Bella's Dad and Charlie highjack a couple of horses to catch the train. They bust in and Charlie laughably tries to fight Gus Fring. Please choke her to death, Gus, please!!! Bella's Dad literally reaches into the flames of the engine to pull out the bomb-booby-trapped log. Good thing he got there in time to notice that a bomb-booby-trapped log was being used. Effing random and awful. Anyway, Nate comes out of left field (remember his dumb ass, the Militia Spy with a Heart of Gold?) to throw Charlie off of the train to protect her from Gus and then Bella's Dad jumps off after her. These 2 idiots are back where they have always been -- looking for Danny, now tracking him to Philadelphia.
Oh so our big Shocking Revelation when Gus meets up with his wife is that Nate is his son, Jason. Also, Charlie's Mom says there are 12 Mystical Flash Drive Pendants.
This show might be tolerable if it were more about the adults and the Resistance and less about the boring, whiny teenagers. Alas. This show gets really good ratings!! I don't understand that at all.
Dull British Stepmom is in the ground, so Bella's Dad says it's time to stop whining and get going. Charlie, stop whining? Right -- that'll be the day. They hear a train, and see Gus trying to get one going.
Nora goes to visit a dude named Hutch and uses the code, "I'm looking for a copy of Joe Biden's biography," which is apparently Resistance code for, "I'm cool." She wants help blowing up the train.
Charlie runs into Gus Fring then Bella's Dad comes along to have a knife fight with him and then run off. This show really sucks. It's just a bunch of shoddly-edited-together scenes. I don't get it.
So you know how Nora wants to blow up the train? Guess what Charlie's whining about -- "What if Danny's on board?" ENOUGH ABOUT DANNY! When Nora sees that Danny is indeed on the train, she wants to stop the bomb, so Hutch stabs her. Oh noooo the train is taking offfff. Whoooo cares.
Bella's Dad and Charlie highjack a couple of horses to catch the train. They bust in and Charlie laughably tries to fight Gus Fring. Please choke her to death, Gus, please!!! Bella's Dad literally reaches into the flames of the engine to pull out the bomb-booby-trapped log. Good thing he got there in time to notice that a bomb-booby-trapped log was being used. Effing random and awful. Anyway, Nate comes out of left field (remember his dumb ass, the Militia Spy with a Heart of Gold?) to throw Charlie off of the train to protect her from Gus and then Bella's Dad jumps off after her. These 2 idiots are back where they have always been -- looking for Danny, now tracking him to Philadelphia.
Oh so our big Shocking Revelation when Gus meets up with his wife is that Nate is his son, Jason. Also, Charlie's Mom says there are 12 Mystical Flash Drive Pendants.
This show might be tolerable if it were more about the adults and the Resistance and less about the boring, whiny teenagers. Alas. This show gets really good ratings!! I don't understand that at all.
09 October 2012
Revolution
Dull British Stepmom and Nerdy Hipster Guy meet Bella's Dad and Charlie at the rendezvous point. There is more walking. They come upon dogs eating a deer. The dogs chase them. Taste the excitement, people! Cuz honestly - it's so. boring. Flashback to Charlie's mom leaving the family to "get supplies" - still. boring. Oh wait - there's a STORM COMING! That's exciting!
Now to Monroe's palace where Charlie's mom is being held. After sweet talking doesn't work for Monroe, Johnny Crowder is brought in to do some light torture. I think. I don't know, they don't show anything and then at the end they just come back to Monroe threatening to rip out Danny's molars in front of her. That would be awesome. Spoiler Alert: it'll never happen.
The Team of Idiots arrives at an amusement park. That Quasi-Militia Guy is still following them; he just won't go away. And now there's another guy watching them... WITH A DOG!! When the power is out, dogs rule the world!
Charlie is the worst character on television. Stop whining, twat! Let Bella's Dad do what he needs to do and stop giving him the guilt trip for not wanting to find your stupid brother. Said stupid brother uses the cover of the impending storm (like, tornado-level storm) to get away. But then Gus Fring is on him in 2 seconds, as if to further demonstrate how not-bright Danny is. That's a new record - didn't he get away for about 15 seconds last time?
Time for more RUNNING FROM DOGS!!!!! Dull British Stepmom is stabbed by Guy With Dog. Lucky her; he nicked an artery so she gets out of this soon. Then DOG MAN NABS CHARLIE! And they talk each other to death. Til Bella's Dad gets there for the KNIFE FIGHT wherein Quasi-Militia Guy stabs Dog Man!
So the storm comes but doesn't really, it just kind of peters out, much like this show. But then the ceiling caves in on Gus Fring. Will Dumb Danny save him? Of course he will. Because Dumb Danny is perfect. Gus slaps handcuffs back on him. Dumb Danny.
R.I.P. Dull British Stepmom. I couldn't care less. And this was after Nerdy Hipster Guy sewed up her artery. Jesus, he had to endure the trauma of diner surgery for this bitch only to have her die 1 minute later? Boo. Oh guess what - now Bella's Dad isn't going anywhere. Dammit, he almost got away!
Now to Monroe's palace where Charlie's mom is being held. After sweet talking doesn't work for Monroe, Johnny Crowder is brought in to do some light torture. I think. I don't know, they don't show anything and then at the end they just come back to Monroe threatening to rip out Danny's molars in front of her. That would be awesome. Spoiler Alert: it'll never happen.
The Team of Idiots arrives at an amusement park. That Quasi-Militia Guy is still following them; he just won't go away. And now there's another guy watching them... WITH A DOG!! When the power is out, dogs rule the world!
Charlie is the worst character on television. Stop whining, twat! Let Bella's Dad do what he needs to do and stop giving him the guilt trip for not wanting to find your stupid brother. Said stupid brother uses the cover of the impending storm (like, tornado-level storm) to get away. But then Gus Fring is on him in 2 seconds, as if to further demonstrate how not-bright Danny is. That's a new record - didn't he get away for about 15 seconds last time?
Time for more RUNNING FROM DOGS!!!!! Dull British Stepmom is stabbed by Guy With Dog. Lucky her; he nicked an artery so she gets out of this soon. Then DOG MAN NABS CHARLIE! And they talk each other to death. Til Bella's Dad gets there for the KNIFE FIGHT wherein Quasi-Militia Guy stabs Dog Man!
So the storm comes but doesn't really, it just kind of peters out, much like this show. But then the ceiling caves in on Gus Fring. Will Dumb Danny save him? Of course he will. Because Dumb Danny is perfect. Gus slaps handcuffs back on him. Dumb Danny.
R.I.P. Dull British Stepmom. I couldn't care less. And this was after Nerdy Hipster Guy sewed up her artery. Jesus, he had to endure the trauma of diner surgery for this bitch only to have her die 1 minute later? Boo. Oh guess what - now Bella's Dad isn't going anywhere. Dammit, he almost got away!
02 October 2012
Revolution
I keep hearing them say "Annie" when they're saying "Danny." This is fitting, since Danny is a giant vagina.
Rebel HQ is in a shitty chain restaurant. They've taken on a bunch of casualties and things look grim and the Militia finds them blah blah blah. I like that in a post-apocalyptic, Renaissance-ish world, Monroe's Militia has taken the time to develop a logo. It's on all their tents and even branded on their skin. Awesome. Maybe Rebel HQ should do better than an American flag.
Shocker: Bella's Dad does what Bella's Dad does best - sword fighting. I guess they really are going to do this every week....
This week's flashbacks show us Bella's Dad and Monroe's relationship soon after the blackout. They tell us absolutely nothing. But in the present day, we find out Bella's Dad was once the second-in-command in the Militia. So what? We already knew they were BFFs. This isn't surprising to me. But it's surprising to Charlie, who in her defense didn't know they were besties in the first place. I guess we're meant to be afraid of the Militia because Badass Bella's Dad trained them. Then we get a flashback where Bella's Dad was once the unstable, murderous one of the pair of Miles & Monroe. Hey -- I like that the "M" in the militia logo might be for Monroe but could also be for Miles Matheson. Lots of M's in this bitch.
Nerdy Hipster Guy and Dull British Stepmom are on a quest for the Mystical Flash Drive Woman, but she's nowhere to be found at her farm. Her place is trashed and NHG finds the remnants of a computer that I guess he just assumes she recently used. Because who would have a computer 15 years after the power went out, I guess. Unless it was just for nostalgia. Or wishful thinking.
At the end, the Mystical Flash Drive starts glowing, music starts playing, and DBS can see the photo of her kids on her iPhone. And then the power goes out again.
Rebel HQ is in a shitty chain restaurant. They've taken on a bunch of casualties and things look grim and the Militia finds them blah blah blah. I like that in a post-apocalyptic, Renaissance-ish world, Monroe's Militia has taken the time to develop a logo. It's on all their tents and even branded on their skin. Awesome. Maybe Rebel HQ should do better than an American flag.
Shocker: Bella's Dad does what Bella's Dad does best - sword fighting. I guess they really are going to do this every week....
This week's flashbacks show us Bella's Dad and Monroe's relationship soon after the blackout. They tell us absolutely nothing. But in the present day, we find out Bella's Dad was once the second-in-command in the Militia. So what? We already knew they were BFFs. This isn't surprising to me. But it's surprising to Charlie, who in her defense didn't know they were besties in the first place. I guess we're meant to be afraid of the Militia because Badass Bella's Dad trained them. Then we get a flashback where Bella's Dad was once the unstable, murderous one of the pair of Miles & Monroe. Hey -- I like that the "M" in the militia logo might be for Monroe but could also be for Miles Matheson. Lots of M's in this bitch.
Nerdy Hipster Guy and Dull British Stepmom are on a quest for the Mystical Flash Drive Woman, but she's nowhere to be found at her farm. Her place is trashed and NHG finds the remnants of a computer that I guess he just assumes she recently used. Because who would have a computer 15 years after the power went out, I guess. Unless it was just for nostalgia. Or wishful thinking.
At the end, the Mystical Flash Drive starts glowing, music starts playing, and DBS can see the photo of her kids on her iPhone. And then the power goes out again.
25 September 2012
Revolution
We start with a one-week-before-the-blackout flashback and intersperse them during the show. Oh, so this show wants to be Lost.
Bella's Dad really enjoys sword fighting. I suppose it makes sense - bows and arrows and swords because guns are banned by the Militia or whatever. Plus it just looks cool, which is really what I think this show is all about. Authenticity? Nope.
They're in one of those bizarre bazaars - really, people sell spices on the street - when Bella's Dad starts fighting guys for reasons that weren't apparent to me. Then he ditches the group for 2 weeks so he can track down a woman. Only he can't get away from Miss Persistence, Charlie, who takes off after him. That Quasi-Militia Guy Nate conveniently runs into her. "Why'd you save me?" Because he wants to bone you, dummy. This Charlie chick is really obsessed with her dingbat brother. He looks like the biggest douche on the planet. He can't be worth all of this trouble.
Gus Fring is such a badass that when he finds a guy with a gun and an American flag he burns it all up. Gus Fring hates America! He's also way too good for this show.
Monroe the Head Militia Dude is the guy from the shitty show The Cape. He's an asshole too, stabbing a guy in the guts and trying to track down rebels. And he has a team of prisoner/slaves pulling a helicopter. Blah blah he's evil. Nora, the chick Bella's Dad is looking for, is A) hot B) wearing a tank top her boobs fall out of and C) one of those prisoner/slaves. Bella's Dad, Charlie, and Nora team up to kill all the guards, free the slaves, and get weapons for the Rebels -- with even more ultra-cool sword fighting.
Nerdy Hipster Guy is left with Dull British Stepmom to try to find the woman he's supposed to give the Mystical Flash Drive to. Too bad someone named Randall tracks her down first -- and he's got an electrical current. The horror!
Monroe has Charlie's Mom prisoner, but the nice kind of prison where she gets to apparently shower, wear nice clothes, write with fountain pens, and have ice. And I guess that was meant to be some kind of revelation, because the shows ends there. Well now, that wasn't very exciting, was it?
Bella's Dad really enjoys sword fighting. I suppose it makes sense - bows and arrows and swords because guns are banned by the Militia or whatever. Plus it just looks cool, which is really what I think this show is all about. Authenticity? Nope.
They're in one of those bizarre bazaars - really, people sell spices on the street - when Bella's Dad starts fighting guys for reasons that weren't apparent to me. Then he ditches the group for 2 weeks so he can track down a woman. Only he can't get away from Miss Persistence, Charlie, who takes off after him. That Quasi-Militia Guy Nate conveniently runs into her. "Why'd you save me?" Because he wants to bone you, dummy. This Charlie chick is really obsessed with her dingbat brother. He looks like the biggest douche on the planet. He can't be worth all of this trouble.
Gus Fring is such a badass that when he finds a guy with a gun and an American flag he burns it all up. Gus Fring hates America! He's also way too good for this show.
Monroe the Head Militia Dude is the guy from the shitty show The Cape. He's an asshole too, stabbing a guy in the guts and trying to track down rebels. And he has a team of prisoner/slaves pulling a helicopter. Blah blah he's evil. Nora, the chick Bella's Dad is looking for, is A) hot B) wearing a tank top her boobs fall out of and C) one of those prisoner/slaves. Bella's Dad, Charlie, and Nora team up to kill all the guards, free the slaves, and get weapons for the Rebels -- with even more ultra-cool sword fighting.
Nerdy Hipster Guy is left with Dull British Stepmom to try to find the woman he's supposed to give the Mystical Flash Drive to. Too bad someone named Randall tracks her down first -- and he's got an electrical current. The horror!
Monroe has Charlie's Mom prisoner, but the nice kind of prison where she gets to apparently shower, wear nice clothes, write with fountain pens, and have ice. And I guess that was meant to be some kind of revelation, because the shows ends there. Well now, that wasn't very exciting, was it?
18 September 2012
Revolution
OK let's see if I feel like blogging this. I'd love for this show to be good, but I'm already thinking it will be craptastic.
The heroine's name is Charlie. Right off the bat, I have a problem with this show. Charlie as a girl's name is soooooo 5 years ago.
The power goes out. But not just the power, car electrical systems too. Man, we can't even have batteries? Everyone's screwed. Welcome to my worst nightmare - no air conditioning or television.
Now it's 15 years later and we're back to ye olden times, where all the kids look Amish except for Charlie, who's now hot. No one could figure out how to get electricity working? Really? There wasn't some workaround someone could devise?
Charlie and her dad live in a little makeshift village, her mom having died a few years back. OR DID SHE?
Gus Fring comes riding into town on a horse with a posse loaded up with bows and arrows, because Gus Fring is a badass. He's looking for Charlie's Dad and Charlie's Dad's brother a/k/a Bella's Dad. (Team Bella's Dad!) When Charlie's Brother, Danny, gets pissed and threatens Gus, chaos ensues, Danny is taken away by Gus, and Charlie's Dad is shot and killed, dying with enough time to tell Charlie to find Bella's Dad in Chicago.
Charlie, her stepmom-ish person, and the Nerdy Hipster Guy head out of the village. You know, for the power being out, people sure don't look very dirty. Nerdy Hipster Guy earns his nickname -- turns out he used to work for Google and was worth $80 million. Well then, his life sucks now. Did I mention NHG was given an emulet/flash drive by Charlie's Dad and that it contains something ~*~secretive~*~? The trio make it to O'Hare and take a nap on a crashed plane, are attacked by randoms, and are saved by a dark, "handsome" stranger, Nate.
In 15 years would Wrigley Field already be overgrown with forest, like an ancient ruin? I just don't buy it. Chicago's looking hella old time, part Wild West, part Renaissance -- it's a weird vibe. They find Bella's Dad easily enough, tending bar. See -- there are bars. They can make booze? I find it hard to believe cities would just be overrun with flora and fauna. But I guess we have our priorities straight.
Gus works for whoever is in charge of the militia and they want to know how to get the power back on. They think Charlie's Dad and Bella's Dad both knew why it went off and how to fix it. Bella's Dad is the kind of guy who plays by his own rules and doesn't want to help Charlie. Oh and Nate ends up being militia. He comes back to get Bella's Dad with a bunch of militia thugs. Too bad for them Bella's Dad is a goddamn ninja assassin. He kills them all except Nate, who saves Charlie from a soldier and then runs off. Okaaaayyyy.
Monroe, the Head Militia Dude? Used to be Bella's Dad's BFF. He's in a big tented camp, with ice in his drink so that bastard figured something out.
OK, so Danny is a boring pain in the ass. I mean, dull and stupid. He escapes from Gus Fring but then is recaptured by Gus. I can already tell he's going to be the lamest thing ever. Also, Charlie is pretty damn boring herself. I'll watch for Bella's Dad, Nerdy Hipster Guy, and Gus Fring.
Oh wait - the dun-dun-DUN moment -- When Danny was escaped for 4 minutes he was taken in by some random chick. That chick turns out to have her own emulet/flash drive thing, puts it in a computer, and types out a message: "The militia was here." See? Dun-dun-DUNNNNNN.
The heroine's name is Charlie. Right off the bat, I have a problem with this show. Charlie as a girl's name is soooooo 5 years ago.
The power goes out. But not just the power, car electrical systems too. Man, we can't even have batteries? Everyone's screwed. Welcome to my worst nightmare - no air conditioning or television.
Now it's 15 years later and we're back to ye olden times, where all the kids look Amish except for Charlie, who's now hot. No one could figure out how to get electricity working? Really? There wasn't some workaround someone could devise?
Charlie and her dad live in a little makeshift village, her mom having died a few years back. OR DID SHE?
Gus Fring comes riding into town on a horse with a posse loaded up with bows and arrows, because Gus Fring is a badass. He's looking for Charlie's Dad and Charlie's Dad's brother a/k/a Bella's Dad. (Team Bella's Dad!) When Charlie's Brother, Danny, gets pissed and threatens Gus, chaos ensues, Danny is taken away by Gus, and Charlie's Dad is shot and killed, dying with enough time to tell Charlie to find Bella's Dad in Chicago.
Charlie, her stepmom-ish person, and the Nerdy Hipster Guy head out of the village. You know, for the power being out, people sure don't look very dirty. Nerdy Hipster Guy earns his nickname -- turns out he used to work for Google and was worth $80 million. Well then, his life sucks now. Did I mention NHG was given an emulet/flash drive by Charlie's Dad and that it contains something ~*~secretive~*~? The trio make it to O'Hare and take a nap on a crashed plane, are attacked by randoms, and are saved by a dark, "handsome" stranger, Nate.
In 15 years would Wrigley Field already be overgrown with forest, like an ancient ruin? I just don't buy it. Chicago's looking hella old time, part Wild West, part Renaissance -- it's a weird vibe. They find Bella's Dad easily enough, tending bar. See -- there are bars. They can make booze? I find it hard to believe cities would just be overrun with flora and fauna. But I guess we have our priorities straight.
Gus works for whoever is in charge of the militia and they want to know how to get the power back on. They think Charlie's Dad and Bella's Dad both knew why it went off and how to fix it. Bella's Dad is the kind of guy who plays by his own rules and doesn't want to help Charlie. Oh and Nate ends up being militia. He comes back to get Bella's Dad with a bunch of militia thugs. Too bad for them Bella's Dad is a goddamn ninja assassin. He kills them all except Nate, who saves Charlie from a soldier and then runs off. Okaaaayyyy.
Monroe, the Head Militia Dude? Used to be Bella's Dad's BFF. He's in a big tented camp, with ice in his drink so that bastard figured something out.
OK, so Danny is a boring pain in the ass. I mean, dull and stupid. He escapes from Gus Fring but then is recaptured by Gus. I can already tell he's going to be the lamest thing ever. Also, Charlie is pretty damn boring herself. I'll watch for Bella's Dad, Nerdy Hipster Guy, and Gus Fring.
Oh wait - the dun-dun-DUN moment -- When Danny was escaped for 4 minutes he was taken in by some random chick. That chick turns out to have her own emulet/flash drive thing, puts it in a computer, and types out a message: "The militia was here." See? Dun-dun-DUNNNNNN.
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