30 June 2010

SYTYCD: Performances

We have twice as many guys as girls, and it's so weird to see it so lopsided. How are they not supposed to kick off a guy this week? I hope all the guys are so good that they can't possibly be in the Bottom 3.

Cat's skin looks very pink and I think there's lipstick on her teeth. She's in Hot Mess mode tonight, with her crooked eyes being even wonkier than normal.

1. Adechike and Lauren - Hip Hop by Dave Scott. It was alright. I really love Lauren, I guess Adechike is kind of dull. It didn't really seem to showcase any great skill. His solo was quite amazing though.

2. Ashley and Ade - Contemporary by Some Dude. It was great, and mostly because Ade is such a fabulous, strong partner to have - always good at the lifts and the drops and things. They paired really nicely.

3. Robert and Courtney - Jazz by Sonya. He should be really good at Sonya stuff because he's so tall, strong, quirky, and HOT. It was a cool Sonya routine with cool Sonya music. It suited them well and they were great. More guyliner please!

4. Melinda and Pasha - Salsa by Some Dude. Oh great - my 2 least favorite dancers. Fun times for me. I thought it seemed sloppy and awkward at times, but then again I hate these people - am I going to like it? She got her dress caught on her heel at the beginning and fixed it really quickly and it didn't seem to trip her up. So there's some positivity! But really I just want Melinda to DIE. Mia called her pigeon-toed again and flat out said they made a mistake by not sending her home last week!!! AHAHAHAHAHA! MAJOR BURN!

5. Lauren and Neil - Broadway by Joey Dowling. They're both pretty so this should be good. Near the end, the strap on her dress totally popped and I eagerly anticipated some titty. It was hysterical - somehow it stayed up, even when she wasn't holding it in place. Lord, that was close. Oh yeah, the dancing was good too - she's the best girl, not that there's all that much competition.

6. Billy and Kathryn - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey. It was great, of course. There was a pretty cool lift where she essentially stood on his thighs while he was standing up. I agree with Nigel that Billy doesn't have the greatest partnering qualities though. It kind of seemed like 2 people dancing separately. Beautifully, but separately.

7. Jose and Anya - Samba by a Scumbag Russian. This could get awkward. Again, he's out of his element and it's not fabulous. Even I could tell his arm placement wasn't right and stuff. But he just tries so damn hard and is so adorable I love him - and the judges don't care either. He's not technically perfect, but he has the performance going for him. On a related note, I had to finally Google how old Anya is. I'm 7 years older than her, but I swear she looks 7 years older than me. Anya is a mystery. An old-ass mystery.

8. Kent and Allison - Jazz by Mandy Moore. They were a little mismatched because he's smaller and twiggier and seems so much younger. I just am continually annoyed by his aw-shucks thing. He makes me gag, he's too corny. Nigel hit the nail on the head when he said Kent was playing more to the audience than to his partner. Nicely done, Nigel. Hopefully the judges knocked him down a peg with the whole "quit the farmboy thing" thing.

9. Alex and Twitch - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon - SAME SEX HIP HOP! Of course they make us wait til the end for this epicness. It was amazing. Totally the perfect combination of choreography, song, and performance. Alex just EXPLODED. My mouth was hanging open. It was amazing. Plus there was Twitch!!! Loveloveloved it. Rewound it. Rewatched it. Twice. Loved it. Too much damn fun. The place went mad, the judges were up, the crowd was up, it was so fun to see. People were losing their minds - he's a ballet dancer, goddamn it!!

I love this show so much when it does this to me!!!!

24 June 2010

SYTYCD: Results

Cat's wearing a little black dress with a zipper that goes the whole way down the front diagonally. I want to unzip her. Let's see if all the girls end up at the bottom so American tweens can spend more time with their gay boyfriends! Speaking of which, Kent's going to make it to the Top 2, isn't he? Because he's wholesome, all-American, and makes girls scream for his twinkiness.

Kent and Adechike are safe right away and Cristina and her braces are in the Bottom 3.

Next, Alex and Jose are safe and Melinda and her large calves are in the Bottom 3.

Finally, Lauren is safe, and so we're guaranteed to get a guy in the Bottom 3 for once - and it's either Robert or Billy. It's Robert. Well, that's strange, considering he's HOT! Tweens don't want to date him? I do.

Cristina does her standard shimmying and Melinda does her standard tapping. Robert is 1000 times more versatile, made good use of the whole stage, and did I mention he's HOT?

Bye-bye: Cristina. No more braces. How sad. NOT.

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Make sandwiches... with a partner... while you're joined together like Siamese Twins. (It was all a horrid bipartisan pun - they even called it a "bipartisandwich". Oh god, are they going to make with the government/political puns all season?) It's slightly dangerous, with all of the knives. I love sandwiches, and there were lots of good-looking ones. The Tanned Douchebag and the Fat Chick won, and they get immunity.

Elimination Challenge: Make a healthy school lunch for $2.60 per child. And do it in teams.

Andrea's team made some great-looking BBQ chicken, cole slaw, and mac and cheese. Want. The meal with the carnita tacos (with tortillas made from oatmeal!) looked good too. The other teams were a bit disastrous - like the one that kind of neglected vegetables, and the one that made chicken with sherry jus -- for kids. Sherry. Wine.

During Judges' Table there was a boatload of under-the-bus-throwing. The bottom two teams were even shit-talking each others' dishes. And The Tanned Douchebag made the crappiest, most pointless thing, but he's safe so who cares. It's my Smooth Brother No. 1 who's in trouble here!

Winner: The Pork Carnitas team, and Kelly specifically.

Bye-bye: Jacqueline, for her super-sugary banana pudding. Good. She sucks and so do bananas.

23 June 2010

SYTYCD: Performances

1. Cristina and Pasha - Paso Doble by Jean-Marc Généreux. She's a ballroom dancer - and Latina - so this should be fine. It was intense and cool, but I still just don't like her.

2. Adechike and Allison - Contemporary by Mandy Moore. It was fine, pretty standard. He's got such great technique, but something about him bugs me. The smile was really fake this week. I don't know, it was fine and boring.

3. Alex and Lauren - Broadway by Tyce. Alex is just amazing. And they were so perfectly in sync it was SCARY.

4. Ashley and Mark - Jazz by Travis. It was really cool and I love Mark. Ashley's pretty good considering I think of her as an underdog, meaning I don't think of her at all. The routine definitely seemed more Contemporary than Jazz. Even Nigel said so - it's not just me.

5. Billy and Comfort - Krump by Lil' C. Now THAT'S a combination. This is going to be crazy!! How is Billy Bell supposed to be hood??? If he can do this, he can do anything. And you know what? He did it. I mean, it was still Billy Bell, but it was the best he could do I think. He needed to pull that tongue in, but it was cool to see him do something pretty much the polar opposite of his style. The judges hammered him, but I think he gets an A for effort.

6. Robert and Anya - Argentine Tango by Jean-Marc Généreux. It was great. But Robert would be a lot hotter if he would just stop talking. More dancing, less talking.

7. Melinda and Ade - Contemporary by Stacey. The routine was lame. I mean, it was about environmentalism, which I think is the weirdest idea yet (and this show has had some weird themes). Meh, Melinda bores me AND annoys me. Die.

8. Jose and Kathryn - Bollywood by an Indian Dude. This could end up being really sweet or really awful. It ended up being in-between. Like, you could tell Jose worked hard. And sometimes he seemed stiff, like he was just trying to get the moves right, keeping an eye on Kathryn. It definitely wasn't perfect, but who doesn't love Jose?

9. Lauren and Dominic - Lyrical Hip Hop by a Fat Chick. It was a great routine and I love my little blond cheerleader Lauren. Fabulous!

10. Kent and Courtney - Jazz by Tyce. I was worried that Farm Boy was going to pop a boner on stage, he was all worked up into a frenzy about touching a girl. I definitely checked for a tent when he was done. The dancing was great, and Kent made me laugh tonight. I might be pulled into his farm boy charm.

22 June 2010

Green Hornet

I can't decide how I feel about Green Hornet yet. I had just read earlier this week that it's horrible, that the studio hated it. But on the other hand, Christoph Waltz is in it. And I HAVE to support any movie that has Christoph Waltz in it. On the third hand, I can understand Jackie Chan way better than I can understand Kato in this trailer. And I can't understand a word Jackie Chan says.

21 June 2010

Top Chef: DC

So now I get to be jealous of both the food AND the locale. Plus I get the bonus of rooting for Andrea, who is Head Chef and Owner of Talula, a place I love in Miami! Nice.

The only other person who stands out to me is Smelly Dreadlocked Man. Oh wait - we also have the Tanned Douchebag and the Gay Indian Dude who prepared for the show by hiring a Wardrobe Stylist. Lord help us. There are loads of Smooth Brothers who I can't tell apart.

Quickfire Challenge: Mise en place tournament - peeling potatoes, dicing onions, breaking down chickens. Kenny (Smooth Brother No. 1) is insane, and finishes each leg first. Tanned Douchebag wins though, based on the last part of the tournament - making a dish with the ingredients.

Elimination Challenge: Create a dish that represents where you're from and serve it at a Cherry Blossom Festival reception. They compete in smaller groups - not as a team, but against the other people in your group. The Top 4 from the Quickfire get to pick the members of their group - picking the crappy chefs first, which leads to a bunch of hurt feelings and indignation.

Top 4: Two Smooth Brothers, the Bald Russian, and the Tanned Douchebag. And the Winner is Tanned Douchebag Angelo.

Bottom 4: Smelly Dreadlocked Man, Some Random, a Smooth Brother, and Dumb Bitch Who Serves Grainy Liver Mousse.

Bye-bye: Smelly Dreadlocked Man John. Well at least I don't have to get grossed out at the sight of him any more, wondering if a long gray hair is going to end up in someone's food.

20 June 2010

I Love Sushi

And I've gotta say, the peaches are my favorite part! (Embedding disabled because Adult Swim is lame, but follow the link. Then do yourself a favor and watch some other Dr. Steve Brule videos while you're there.)

Kids' Movie Weekend

I really need to see Get Him to the Greek, but for some reason *cough*Mike*cough*, I ended up seeing 2 kids' movies instead.

I wasn't really excited to see The Karate Kid, and it was pretty much what I expected. Your typical sports movie where the underdog works hard and beats the bad guy. I don't really remember the original all that well, but the only thing this movie seemed to have in common with it was an old Asian dude. Otherwise, it's pretty different. They could have called it The Kung-Fu Kid and just been accused of ripping off The Karate Kid. I mean, it takes place in China and they do kung-fu -- there's no Japanese karate involved. But I digress.

The movie was fine but here's my main problem with it - the kid's too young. He's 12, not the high school senior of the original. 12 is too young to be so violent. (The Chinese kids are encouraged to break people down, literally. Then again, this is China -- they're growing super-soldiers to take over the world in 5 years.) 12 is too young to be wandering off alone in a new foreign city, hanging out with an adult male. The movie could have easily taken a turn and become an after-school special. 12 is too young to be fighting for honor. 12 is too young to be confidently macking on a hottie. And 12 is definitely too young for abs. This kid had abs that rival Bradley Cooper's. It was insane.

Jaden Smith is likeable. He totally has his dad's personality - you could see his father delivering lines the same way. For me, the best part of the movie was Jackie Chan. There is something cuddly about a serious, quiet Jackie Chan. I'm used to the whacky, comedic action guy. I like this serious one better. He made the movie for me.

In the end, I just had too many real questions bothering me. Would a single mother really relocate her son to China for a job? Is that what the economy's brought us to? And keep letting your kid fend for himself on the streets of a foreign city!

Toy Story 3 on the other hand, I definitely wanted to see. I always enjoy the Toy Story movies, and Pixar movies in general. This was great. The level of detail in a Pixar movie always gets to me. This time, we have the toys going off to a day care center that is made out to be a prison. The movie's just as good as the ones that came before. Sweet, funny, and just a little twisted. Seriously, the Big Baby is creepy as hell.

17 June 2010

SYTYCD: Results

I found something else that bothers me about this new format. Conceivably, all of the girls could be picked off one after the other (by the catty 12-year-old girls who vote), leaving nothing but guys in the Top 6. Let's face it, girls vote for the gay boys that they think will be their boyfriends some day. But I guess it doesn't really matter. It's just in all of the other seasons, it was always boy/girl, boy/girl.

Bottom Three: Melinda, Alexie, Cristina. See? Three girls, and all the Gay Boyfriends are safe.

I don't really care about any of these girls, so any of them can go. I mean, I'll always stand by my Filipina Princess, but whatever. After the girls dance for their lives, the judges decide who to boot. Once again, they seem to love Cristina. Ick.

Bye-bye: Alexie. Sadness.

16 June 2010

SYTYCD: Performances

Our first live show opens with all kinds of horrid camerawork and missed close-ups. Oh - this show is directed by a woman now, right? That explains a lot.

OK, so Mary Murphy's NOT going to be a judge this season? At all? I forget, but I guess Mia replaced her and Adam's permanent too. It's OK, I can live without her Hot Tamale Train. Adam's hella orange though.

1. Billy and Lauren - Broadway by Tyce, set to "Footloose". I loved Lauren; it was hard to take my eyes off her. It's kind of depressing how you don't really hear from the All-Star either before or after. :( In his opening bit, we saw that Billy's dad is a general contractor. I hope he loves his gay son! Billy's great, but this new format is throwing me off - I want to hear from Lauren!!

2. Cristina and Mark - Jazz by Sonya. Mark is MADE for Sonya routines - can't wait! I think Cristina was good. I don't know. Here's my problem so far - I'm focusing on the dancers I know instead of watching the new ones. Especially here where I really wanted to see Mark dance Sonya's stuff. This is going to be all about the All Stars for me, I can tell. Also, Cristina's clear braces bother me.

3. Jose and Comfort - Hip hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. Comfort pwns hip hop and it was a kickass routine. Jose lucked out starting out with hip hop. He was great. They partnered really well together.

4. Adechike and Kathryn - Jazz by Travis. Cool routine. Once again, I focused on Kathryn. The judges were kind of harsh with him because they expect so much. Mia slammed him for having no chemistry or emotion.

5. Melinda and Pasha - Jive by Tony & Melanie. Words can't describe the douchechills Pasha gives me, especially when people call him hot and he has a shirt open to his navel. Puke. In this case, I was actually watching Melinda, and thought she was good. The judges didn't like her legs and Mia called her pigeon-toed. But Melinda's personality didn't bother me, and kind of helped her in this performance, so I consider it a win.

6. Alex and Allison - Contemporary by Sonya. Well, I don't know Allison, so I suppose I'll be watching the new kid for once. It was really amazing, and gave everyone all kinds of goosebumps. Allison was great too, and I didn't know what to expect from her. Even Nigel was getting all choked up, and that's usually Mia and Adam's job. Mia said it was the best piece ever on the show!!

7. Alexie and Twitch - Hip hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. They showed clips from her performance on Star Search as a kid and ADAM JUDGED HER THEN TOO! OMG! Young Adam! It's hysterical! I was underwhelmed by the performance. Didn't think the choreography was all that, and didn't think Alexie had a lot to work with. Twitch was the one I watched cuz I love him, and I thought she was too stiff or something. She's wrong for hip hop.

8. Lauren and Ade - Pop jazz by Mandy Moore. The routine was really cute and it was great to see Ade again. She held her own, considering it was with Ade, and the choreography kind of fit her because it was cheerleader-esque. It was a bit robotic, but that seemed to be the point of the routine. Mia criticized her for not "filling the spaces" and I could totally see that - technically precise, but not emotional.

9. Kent and Anya - Cha cha by Tony & Melanie. Anya's kind of mature for this little twerp, isn't she? He's going to do a strong cha cha? Oh lord. It was what I expected. He's pulling faces and he looks 12 and he's too weak to lift Anya's fat ass. (Seriously, Anya was unexpectedly curvy. You know, for this show.) He clearly had a great time, which was cute, but the whole farm-boy-makes-good thing is getting old already.

10. Ashley and Neil - Contemporary by Tyce. Well, I'm pretty much just watching my BF Neil. Screw Ashley. I don't know, the routine kind of bored me and I didn't feel chemistry between them. It's probably because Neil was thinking of me the whole time, and who can blame him.

11. Robert and Courtney - African Jazz by Some Dude. Love the African Jazz! The choreography was awesome and they were amazing. Something about Robert bothers me. But he IS hot, so I need to get over that and just appreciate. You know what it is? His personality. And the melodramatic false modesty and gratitude. Die. You'll make a cute corpse.

13 June 2010

SYTYCD: Season 7 Starts

I did a massive catch-up of 5 hours of So You Think You Can Dance, because the audition part isn't my favorite part of this show. This season they made it even worse by doing awkward home visits and draaaaagging out the final selections.

We've only got a Top 11 this season because they're bringing back some all-stars to pair up with the new dancers. Then I guess we'll get 1 kicked off each week instead of 2, so the season will be the same length. It's like they're going for a Dancing With The Stars vibe, giving the contestants professional partners. And now a bad dancer won't bring their partner down with them. If you get sent home, you can't blame your partner - your partner is an all-star, MF'er.


Alex, my favorite super-gay Asian ballet dancer. Love.

Lauren, the cutesy blond chick. Love.

Robert and Ashley, who so far have been unremarkable and forgettable, but will probably surprise me.

Jose, who they're trying to get to be this season's Legacy, and I don't buy it. Yet. He's great in his b-boy style, but to be the next Legacy you really have to be awesome at everything.

Cristina, the salsa dancer who annoys me.

Adechike, who is amazing.

Melinda, the tapdancer with other talents -- one of which is annoying the piss out of me with her personality.

Billy, the dude from last season who left early because he "got sick." I, of course, assumed he had AIDS, because that's what I do.

Alexie, my Filipina princess. Love.

Kent, the small town boy who apparently wants us to think he's straight. Aw, how cute. Love.


There are 12 of them, so I guess they'll rotate them in based on the styles.

Allison. She's the only one I don't know, because I didn't start watching until Season 3.
Comfort. Was she all that versatile? I don't remember her that way. I guess she'd just do hip hop routines.
Dominic. Love love love.
Neil. You know what - I STILL fantasize about Neil being my gay boyfriend. LOVE NEIL!
Pasha. Oh great. Another season of Pasha making the sexy for us. Of course he took his shirt off. Barf.
Twitch - YAY!

I don't know how I feel about them messing with my SYTYCD formula, but I'll give it a shot. Hopefully it'll push the dancing to the next level.

The A-Team

Do you have any idea how happy I am that The A-Team movie wasn't a huge disappointment? I loved the show as a kid and was really hoping they wouldn't screw this up. It was awesome.

For me, if you have a good Murdock, you have a great A-Team. And Sharlto Copley's Murdock was every bit as good as I thought he'd be. The whole team had great chemistry together, even if you couldn't always understand Rampage Jackson's mumblings. And even I can't deny that tanned, blond Bradley Cooper ain't hard to look at. He totally played the perfect, charming Faceman. And Patrick Wilson as a CIA douchebag was great too - totally eccentric. Every character in the movie was kind of a bit off-kilter. It really is the kind of movie where you can tell people had fun making it and it had all these little moments that seem unscripted and just fun.

What can I say? This A-Team fangirl had a big smile on her face the whole time. It has a great cast and those crazy, perfectly-timed stunts that are an A-Team signature. It also sets itself up nicely for a sequel, and maybe even a villain played by a guy who really would make a cool, badass A-Team 2 villain.

04 June 2010

This. Must. Happen.

I'm back on my Jeremy Renner bandwagon. This needs to happen. I don't even know what a Hawkeye is, but if it puts ol' JR in a major movie, I'm all for it. Oh, and I've actually done a bit of research on Hawkeye - sounds like a complex, awesome character. Bring it!

Jeremy Renner is in final negotiations to join The Avengers, Marvel Studios' big-screen take on its superhero team that's being directed by Joss Whedon.

Renner will play the bow-and-arrow-carrying hero Hawkeye, who, while not one of the initial members of the team when it was created in the 1960s, became an integral member soon after when the misguided villain switched sides.

Renner will join Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Chris Evans as Captain America, Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and Don Cheadle as War Machine.

The Hulk may also be a character in the movie, but at this stage, there is no deal that would bring back Ed Norton, who starred as the emerald giant in 2008's The Incredible Hulk.

Renner's involvement was initially rumored last fall, although the actor, who was in the middle of the awards derby with his war thriller The Hurt Locker, was at the time more taken with Paul Thomas Anderson's untitled drama and was being heavily courted by Universal for Battleship.

Renner never joined Battleship, and while he still has definite interest in Anderson's film, that project is still cobbling financing and has seen its start pushed back several times.

Renner saw a chance to take on work in a role that, while key, is not starring in nature and will allow him to slide into Anderson's film if it should come together.

To keep costs manageable for The Avengers, Marvel is trying to keep a lid on the movie's finances and the actors are taking salary cuts, according to insiders.


03 June 2010

Rose Is All We've Got Left!

R.I.P. Yet Another Golden Girl

Rue McClanahan has died at the age of 76.

"She passed away at 1 a.m. this morning," her manager, Barbara Lawrence, tells PEOPLE. "She had a massive stroke."

McClanahan, who played man-happy Blanche Devereaux on the still-popular '80s sitcom Golden Girls, had suffered a minor stroke earlier this year while recovering from bypass surgery. Lawrence adds that at the time of her death Thursday, McClanahan “had her family with her. She went in peace."

01 June 2010

Conan: Live!

I saw Conan O'Brien's Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television tour this past Sunday in Atlantic City, NJ. I went to the 11:35 PM show, which I thought was extra nerdy-cool because of it being his old time slot. The show was great. He was hilarious and he rocked hard. I had been in the audience of his old show in NYC once and he had brought out the acoustic guitar beforehand, so I knew he loved to play. But this time he was rocking it. And you could tell he was having a blast.

Since this was a casino show, some of the very first rows were empty - reserved for comps for gamblers. Very early on, he invited the audience to move forward - knowing the fans should have those seats, not some random gambling douchebags. He also came out into the crowd at the end, running right down the middle, high-fiving and hugging people.

His band was all there too (except for Max) and they ruled. It was a really high-energy show. Andy came out too, and there were a couple recorded segments. We even got the Walker: Texas Ranger Lever, though it was re-named due to NBC possibly owning the rights to it. The whole show was awesome -- I laughed my ass off.

Conan was so great. He seemed to be doing what he loves, but still had that edge of bitterness that someone in his position is bound to have. Can't wait til he starts up his TBS show in the Fall.