30 November 2007

Happy Holidays


I'm getting into the holiday spirit at work now, with garland and lights and peppermint white mochas and XM Traditional Holiday Hits. And then I came across this, my favorite holiday photo. Happy holidays everyone!

29 November 2007

Me No Likey

Project Runway: Menswear

At the beginning, the show helps me distinguish among all the tattooed, jacked gays by telling us one is HIV-positive. He shall now be known as Hivvie and I'm rooting for him!! He's had HIV for 17 years, which I thought was something only Magic Johnson could pull off. He won this challenge too.

The challenge was menswear. On Project Runway, Menswear = Death. They have to design for Tiki Barber, so they get male models. Male models in a room full of gays! Hilarity ensued. Finally, models I want to see in their underwear.

Carmen ("Kelis") and Sweet P (freak) were the real nightmares. Carmen did the one with the horrid brown jacket and no shirt because she couldn't get it done, and Sweet P did the one with the shirt with the busted-up collar that reminded me of the shirt Denise made for Theo on The Cosby Show. It was the same pattern! I think Sweet P should have gone, but Carmen was eliminated. It's a shame she got kicked out for menswear - she seemed really talented.

27 November 2007

Penalty of the Year

Heroes is in Full-Blown Sylar Mode

Thank god for Sylar. Really. He was in all-out, seductive eeeeeeevil mode last night and it was fabulous. Maya and her brother find out Sylar killed his mother, but that only makes him more attractive to Maya. Now they have something in common - they both "accidentally" killed people. Maya sides with Sylar and kicks her brother out of her life. Then Sylar kills his ass. The best part was when Maya comes to Sylar's room and Sylar acts like he was in the shower, they makeout, and then the camera pans down to the dead brother on the floor. LOLOLOL. This Classic Heroes Moment is brought to you by Sylar. Sylar ends up at (his true love) Mohinder's house -- with Molly. Mohinder's on his way over and he's got the virus cure with him.

The big mystery of this episode was "Where's Micah's backpack?" Lame. Leave it to the kids to get dressed up in what amounts to our first costume on this show and use their powers to get the backpack. Unfortunately Monica gets captured in the process. Eh. What do I care? Kill her.

In the end, Peter and Hiro faced off and.....to be continued. Finally a Patented Heroes Cliffhanger. Next week: a villain will rise! Two heroes will fall! And it's the last episode of the year unless they can resolve this writers' strike soon!

B&C League Report: Week 12


Next week is the last week of our regular season. I'm no statistician, but I'm pretty sure Grillz and MacNCheese are out of contention. The top spot is up for grabs, though McLovin is holding on to it now.

Congratulations to this week's winners: Wide Stance, Ron Mexico, ManBearPig, Sex Panther, and Hot Mama. That horrid, swampy game last night was either a blessing or a curse.

Note to all: If Houman ever wishes you dead, you're going to die. R.I.P. Sean Taylor. At least it wasn't a Bronco this time.

26 November 2007

I'm Hoping There's a Good Scandal Here


Mississippi Senator Trent Lott announced Monday he will leave a 35-year career in Congress in which he epitomized the Republicans' political takeover of the South after the civil rights struggles of the 1960s.

Lott said he wanted to leave on a "positive note" after winning re-election last year to a leadership post and fostering legislation for rebuilding the Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina.

Lott said he wants to spend more time with his family and to pursue other job opportunities, possibly teaching. He ruled out any health concerns, but he said it's time for a younger voice to represent Mississippi in the Senate.

"I don't know what the future holds for us," he said on behalf of himself and his wife, Tricia. "A lot of options, hopefully, will be available."

I mean, come on, you resign in the middle of your term with no discernible reason or future? He was screwing something, it's just a question of what gender.

Awwww


They're both so cute!!! (But Valentina's blocking the real prize.)

Fantasy Football Report

Note to self: Find out if Peyton Manning's Down's Syndrome brother plans to throw 4 pickles. If yes, play the Defense that will catch said pickles and return 3 for TDs. Jesus, this was the wrong week to play the Ravens and sit the Vikings. Jackass.

Wide Stance is leading MacNCheese by 8, with both having a Steeler playing tonight. The other close game is Hot Mama v. Peterskin in the Battle of Yale Avenue. She's currently ahead 99 to 85, but he has a QB and a Kicker playing tonight; she's tapped out.

McLovin is resting all his hopes on Tight End Heath Miller to beat Ron Mexico. The Herpetic One is currently ahead 129 to 76. So good luck Miller!

In the two final games.... ManBearPig has squashed Grillz, whose QB got her -1, while her reserve QB netted 26. The Pig wins it 102 to 73. Sex Panther has defeated KMo 86 to 68, and he still has the Steelers D tonight. Though with his luck, a miracle will occur and the D will net -19.

24 November 2007

The Mist Will Scare the Pist Out of You


Well, maybe not, but I just like the Gene-Shalit way that sounds. Whatevs. I didn't think The Mist was necessarily the scariest film ever, but it was definitely tense and really well done. There are creatures in the movie, but the scariest things really happen because of regular people. It's really a movie about what happens when a large group of people are trapped together and scared. Strong personalities draw people onto different sides, people panic, it's great dramatic stuff.

It's a very quiet movie that doesn't rely on a soundtrack to let you know when to be scared. There's barely a score at all, which makes it feel all the more real, like you are trapped with the people. The ending is awesome. Just dark and great. That's all I can say about it. It's different than the ending Stephen King wrote and totally darker. You gotta go a long way to be darker than The Man himself.

23 November 2007

Because the Suspense Is Killing You

The Bourbon-Pecan Tart was un-effing-believable. Like, one-of-the-best-things-I've-ever-made-or-eaten good. Here's a link to the recipe if you're interested.

22 November 2007

Turkey is the Reason for the Season


My favorite meal of the year! We've been cooking since 9:00 and just finished cleaning up. Today's menu:

Buttermilk-Oat Rolls
Turkey Breast
Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes
Oven Roasted Green Beans
Bread Stuffing with Caramelized Onion, Bacon, and Apples
Dessert will be Bourbon-Pecan Tart with Chocolate Drizzle, which I am eagerly anticipating.

What did you have? HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Beowulf Stinks


I can't put it any plainer than that, folks. I saw it because these are the things a wife does for her husband, and I heard the 3-D version was worth it. It wasn't. Sure, it was probably 600 times more worth it than the plain version, but it still stinks.

I hate this kind of animation. Hate it! There's nothing amazing or real-looking about it. There were only 2 times where I found myself thinking, Wow, OK, that person looks real. The rest of the time they either looked like Downs Syndrome versions of the actors or Shrek characters. The acting is horrible, probably because the animated characters can't show emotion. The dialog was horrific. That can't be the fault of the dude from the 8th century who wrote the poem, it has to be the adapter.

It was soooo booooring too. At least the 3-D was fun to watch. A couple times I definitely thought I was about to be hit with an arrow or something. Without the 3-D, there's no point in seeing this movie. And really, you can get the same effect with those 3-D attractions at Disney World.

We were going to see Hitman, but I read some bad reviews, including one from a geek site. But now I can't see how it can be worse than Beowulf, so I'm tempted to see it. I'll probably regret that too, but this is a 4-day weekend after all. What else am I gonna do after today?

21 November 2007

Movie Review: 2 Girls 1 Cup

I have been waiting to blog on this topic for about a month now, unsure of the right time. Well, I think Thanksgiving and the kickoff to the holiday season is as good a time as any to share 2 Girls 1 Cup. You can go to 2girls1cup.com to view the video. I refuse to link to it here, as I have some standards. Warning: do not view after you have had your Thanksgiving meal. And if you do get the courage to watch it, please record your reaction. Also, the video is completely not suitable for work, even if you work at a Brazilian brothel.

For those that don't know, the video is kind of like the video from The Ring, with a whole mystique built around it. I first heard of this video on Opie & Anthony. I heard the description and listened to (and watched) people's reactions to it. I told a friend and then finally got up the nerve to watch it myself. I recorded my reaction and posted it to You Tube. You can find my reaction below. (I don't know why the audio doesn't sync up. I wasn't about to watch it again and make another one.)



I guess that means I was having the Best Week Ever last week. A completely safe for work and funnier version of the video is 2 Guys 1 Cup, featured below. Please share with your family and friends -- and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

B&C Hottie of the Week


EW.com has a great little gallery of Did they really think that was sexy? photos. This picture of Justin Timberlake is my favorite. Because you know everyone thought it was so sexy back in the day. He's gotta be embarrassed by this now. How old was he - 12?

20 November 2007

B&C League Report: Week 11


Oops. I slept on posting these results.

Congratulations to this week's winners: me, McLovin, Ron Mexico, KMo, and Hot Mama. For the most part, the winners really gave it to the losers. Ron Mexico's really risen through the ranks, hasn't he?

Apparently there is a trade deadline for the season - and it's next Tuesday the 27th. So prepare whatever bribes you need if you need to make trades. Remember, nothing's off limits in my league. Money, sex, children, John's mustache hairs - bid with confidence!

Green Team!


Some environmentally-friendly words from the folks at Funny or Die. Really inspires me to save the planet.

Heroes: Bennet Badass Bonanza

This was mostly a Bennet- and Nakamura-centric episode, with some Parkman thrown in for good measure. Matt’s powers expanded to include Jedi Mind Tricks. Convenient.

Bob took Claire (and her blood). Bennet showed that little West punk who was boss and then teamed up with him to save Claire. He almost shot Mohinder too, but pussed out. Instead they took Elle and he tortured her a bit. With Mr. Muggles’ doggy bath – best improv torture device since Jack Bauer used that lamp. In fact, the line, "Did you pack Mr. Muggles' doggy bath?" is now right up there with "I'm gonna need a hacksaw." Bennet was definitely at his best this episode, what with all the threatening he's so good at.

At what I thought was the end of the show, but it wasn’t, Mohinder had the damn nerve to shoot Bennet through the eye and kill his ass in a spectacular blaze of glory. It was a really cool shot. I sat there with my mouth open, rewound it, and then went, “Oh, he’ll be OK – they’ll bring him back with Claire’s blood.” So then it comes back from commercial and what do you know he’s being pumped with some blood and comes to life. Is it Claire’s blood? Did Elle and Bob bring him back? I assume so, and yet it could also be Adam’s I suppose. And will this have any consequences? Like, is Bennet now invincible too or is it a one-time-only thing? When Reanimated Bennet woke up he said “Holy Sh—“ – just like Claire did last season. LOL.

For the Nakamuras, it was basically all about Hiro traveling back to save his father, then being told by said father not to, and then finally settling on finding out who his father’s killer was. Of course it’s Adam.

Really I’m most excited about the preview because it showed Sylar at Mohinder’s apartment and let’s face it, that’s a couple that needs to be reunited.

19 November 2007

Now That's What I Call The Tween Music Scene


Who makes the hotter chick? Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brother on the right?

Perfect Cloverfield Trailer

The real thing, not that crappy cell phone stuff.

WTF is this monster thing? Is that its ass?

B&C Presents: Unsolicited Product Recommendations

Went on a bit of a holiday candle spree at Bath & Body Works. The Winter candle totally smells like Winter. It's a combination of pine, cinnamon, bay leaf, and woods. Kinda smells like a fireplace too.

THANK YOU B&BW for bringing back a peppermint candle. I can only assume that they read my blog last year.

For holiday soap, I recommend Warm Chestnut Cheer. Who doesn't want their hands to smell like warm nuts?

Finally, behold my new money Chucks. Ooooo....aaaaah.

Fantasy Football Report

First, an important message: Lineups lock this Thursday at 11:30 AM. So before you have your turkey, set your lineup. Some time during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Featuring Al Roker would be best.

We have 3 final results already, and the other 2 are basically final.

Wide Stance kicked Sex Panther's ass in the Battle of the Florida Household, 105 to 62. Eat it.

The best thing Hot Mama ever did was trade Manning. Because now she starts Favre and gets way more points from him. She has defeated Grillz 92 to 79.

Ron Mexico spread the herpes to Peterskin, soundly defeating him 116 to 75.

MacNCheese should have gone with Campbell as her QB, as McNabb got her -1 points. McLovin is ahead of her 106 to 69, with each having a player tonight. KMo and her pal Tom Brady beat up on ManBearPig 109 to 79, with the Pig having the Broncos D playing tonight.

On a Real Football note: The Jets? Really, Steelers? The JETS??!! We watched the Ravens/Browns game at our Browns' friends' house. I didn't mind the loss because it was exciting (the second half) and hard-fought (the second half). Imagine what would have happened if the Ravens had shown up for the first half. Imagine....

18 November 2007

No Country for Old Men


This was a great movie. I can definitely recommend this one. I didn't know much about it going in. It's basically another Coen Brothers film that says money and greed are bad.

It takes place in Texas in 1980 and the backcountry scenery is just gorgeous. The characters seem so freaking real, especially the supporting ones. They're just amazing. Some are funny, and all are quirky, in that Coen Brothers way. Like Fargo, but with Texas accents.

A man finds a bunch of dead drug runners and a case full of money. A psychotic bowl-cut-wearing killer relentlessly hunts him for that money. And then there's the sheriff looking for them both.

It is just so good. The movie is so quiet. A couple times I realized that no one in the theater was moving or making noise. I felt transfixed by the movie, sitting perfectly still, watching what was happening.

See it!

16 November 2007

God Bless the Internet

I love covert-cell-phone-video of cool trailers!

So the movie is called Cloverfield after all. It'll be the Feel Motion Sickness Movie of the Year. It almost makes me want to see Beowulf so I can see the trailer in high quality. Almost. "Are you the one they call Beowulf?"

And maybe the best part of this trailer is I'm pretty sure the dude recording it whispers "yes!" when he reads the opening text.

Update: Damn. The video was removed, as expected. You can try this link. Too bad you don't get to hear the geek go "yes!"

Rhetorical Question


Is Jeremy Piven the skeeviest dirtbag to ever live?

15 November 2007

Project Runway For The Win

Yay! Project Runway is back! It will be time-shifted to provide me with entertainment on writers-strike-Thursday nights without my usual comedies.

It's way too soon for me to learn everyone's names. But here's who I like:
1) The gay guy. OK, that's a joke. All but one of the dudes is gay, but I guess that's not unusual for this show. There are lots of tattoos and dumb punky hairstyles and nicknames this time around.

There's one name I do remember: Christian. I wasn't sure if Christian was male or female for a while. I'm still just 96% sure he's a he, but only because he's living in the guy's apartment. He might have filled out his application wrong.

OK, so here's who I like:
1) The Bald Israeli, whose dress was stunning, but he was stuck with the fat ugly German Olympian model. He won this week.
2) The Fat Guy.
3) The Hermaphrodite.
4) The Chick That Looks Like Kelis.

I don't like the Aging Crazy Crunchy Granola Hippie or the Aging Biker Chick.

That is all.

I Got Nothing

Most Boring Day Ever? Maybe. Since I have nothing to post, I'll grasp with this link to some funny audio. The guy is calling the Jimmy Dean Sausage company to complain. I enjoy it.

Click the link above, then click Play to play the audio.

14 November 2007

B&C's Favorite Midget


Is looking pretty hot (and not really age-appropriate) here!

More through this link.

Should This Be My Christmas Card?


This season's finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm was hysterical! Larry realized he was in love with Loretta and they live happily ever after. I loved the addition of Leon and The Blacks this season. And this holiday card is just priceless.

13 November 2007

B&C League Report: Week 10

Ugh. Lost again. I'm as bad as the Ravens! (Maybe because I have so many of them on my team. Time to drop!) Three more weeks of this mess til playoffs.

This week's games were mostly pretty close ones, except for Hot Mama's decimating of Sex Panther. Congratulations to the winners: Grillz, Hot Mama, Ron Mexico, Peterskin, and MacNCheese.

And Starring Zachary Quinto as Spock

Very creepy how much he looks like Leonard Nimoy back in the day, as I suspected he would. I was holding out hope they'd let Zachary keep his money hair and nix the bowl. Alas....

12 November 2007

Heroes: 1 Down, 3 to Go

The fact that there are only 3 episodes left makes me so bitter. It's like, what's the point then? Can we just forget this season and wait til they come back full-strength?

This episode filled us in on some of what happened in the last 4 months, but not everything. Where the F was Sylar?

DL survived the gunshot wound at Kirby Plaza. Bob meets Niki and puts her on meds to suppress her abilities. The meds make her depressed so she dumps them and springs a new personality, Gina, an L.A. cokewhore. DL becomes a firefighter, but ultimately is killed when he goes to rescue Niki from the clubs of L.A.

Maya wiped out her brother's whole wedding party with her black tears. Still boring!

Peter exploded, Nathan burned and fell to Earth, then Peter flew down to save him. He took Nathan to a hospital where he was a crispy critter beyond belief. Elle and Bob got Peter at the hospital; they tell him he's dangerous but they're working on a cure and they drug him to dampen his abilities. He's held in a cell next to Adam, who has been there for 30 years. Adam tells Peter that his blood cures people and he can cure Nathan, which is of course enough for Peter to stop taking the meds and walk them both through the prison walls. Adam's blood does indeed cure Nathan.

Nitpick: When Nathan is cured I think it said "two" or "three weeks ago" - can Nathan really become an alcoholic and grow that big-ass beard he had at the beginning of the season in that amount of time? Italians are hairy I guess.

Theory: Mama Petrelli's power is the power of persuasion. I think she persuaded Peter to regain his memory, and was suggesting to Heidi in this episode that she move on and keep the secret.

In the end, Bob and Elle catch Peter and Adam at the hospital. Well really they catch Adam. Peter runs off, his shirt burning courtesy of Elle, which leads to the 75th shot of shirtless Peter this season. I mean really, we get it, you worked out during the hiatus. The boy has been shirtless every week!! The Haitian does him a favor by chaining him to the inside of a cargo container and wiping his memory.

I guess this filled in some blanks, but really no more blanks than I could just have assumed myself. 3 left. Boo.

Prison Break: Smell You Next Year

Because of the writers' strike reshuffling, Prison Break won't return til January 14. I can't say too much happened in this "fall finale."

The old bald Company guy from last year returned and instructed Susan (a/k/a Gretchen) to conduct a bang and burn operation. Which essentially meant a whole lot of planning for a single helicopter to fly to Sona and try to rescue Whistler. They shot up a bunch of guards, but ultimately Michael figured out what Whistler was up to and hung onto him and the helicopter wasn't able to airlift them both.

After that debacle, a new guard came into the prison, decided Scofield was too much trouble for Sona and kicked him out. Didn't realize you could kick a dude out of a lawless prison for being too lawless.

Mahone's story went nowhere. During his hearing he was having one of his patented Twitchy Episodes, scratching his wrists til they bled. He wasn't able to give any straight answers, so he's being sent back to Sona. Linc shot a Company guy who was sent to kill him in the head, that was pretty sweet. And we got a 3-second glimpse of Michael's tattoo while he changed his shirt. Whoopee!!

B&C Word of the Week

211 (noun): When you have a bathroom emergency. Like a 911, but it's a number 2.

I am going to do my best to incorporate this into conversation. I gotta go - I've got a 211! It's my new favorite term!

B&C Cameltoed Cougar of the Week


My apologies if you've recently eaten.

Fantasy Football Report

First, a thank you to Mary for her poll. I for one voted that Sex Panther's balls are the driest. He paid Hot Mama 20 bucks for Peyton Manning and loses to her. Lucky for her, she had a money back-up in Brett Favre. She beats him with a final score of 87 to 49.

In the other final score, KMo was missing Tom Brady this week, falling to Ron Mexico 76 to 85.

Wide Stance is ahead of Grillz who needs to make up 14 points off the Seahawks defense tonight. MacNCheese is murdering ManBearPig 115 to 78, with the Pig hoping Hasselsuck can make up those points tonight.

In the Feel Good Story of the Week, McLovin loves to brag about his RBs and WRs, but his QB got him -1 yesterday. He falls to my new favorite brother-in-law 79 to 85, and Peterskin still has his TE tonight.

11 November 2007

I Went to Disney World!

We went to Orlando this weekend to take advantage of great weather and a cheap hotel. It's amazing to me that going to Disney hasn't gotten old for me yet, considering it involves 3 things I hate: crowds of tourists, rest stops, and buffets.

We spent the first part of Saturday at Animal Kingdom. We hadn't been there for a few years. Everest is the new indoor/outdoor roller coaster, and it was awesome. We did that twice. The Safari ride is so fun too.

In the afternoon we went to Epcot Center, always my favorite. We had lunch in Germany, which is officially the only buffet I like. Buffet-style is perfect for German food because you really only want a sampling of everything. Good good stuff. We had dinner in China. This was the final weekend of the Epcot Wine and Food Festival. They had lots of different stands with little plates of food and wine for purchase. We're definitely going to go back to do that next year, so if you like food, come visit us. The plan is to start at 11 AM and eat my way around the world all day!

I formulated a new theory over the course of the trip. You know how most domestic abuse takes place on Super Bowl Sunday? Well I've got to figure that the second-most domestic abuse is doled out on Disney vacations. One of my favorite parts of the day is that time right at dusk (I like to call it the "magic hour") when families are exhausted and hungry and you hear kids and adults yelling and being yelled at. I relish other people's misery. The closest I came to misery was when Mike forced me to watch the 30-minute stage presentation in America - featuring "animatronic actors." Lordy.

I Hate the Ravens

Aaaaaaand... we've officially come to the point in the football season when I get officially fed up with the Ravens. Thank god I'm not watching this game. The current score is 21-0. It makes me want to vomit. I can't wait for the December 16 game here in Miami so I can jump onto the field and punch Brian Billick in the face.

09 November 2007

Heroes Already 100% Improved


Now THAT'S how you fix a show. I fully support the costume choice here. Shirtless Peter doesn't do it for everyone. Some of us want to see Sylar in black.

More Star Trek Casting News

Star Trek is beaming up Winona Ryder. Paramount Pictures and director JJ Abrams have set Ryder to play the Vulcan mother of a young Spock (Zachary Quinto). Scripted by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, the film revolves around the Starfleet Academy days of the crew of the Starship Enterprise. Chris Pine has been set to play Capt. Kirk, Simon Pegg will play Scotty, Karl Urban is Dr. McCoy and Eric Bana will play the villain, Nero.

This is the first casting I'm skeptical about. As far as I'm concerned, they don't get any more irrelevant than Winona Ryder. Also, if this Variety article is correct, she's playing a Vulcan. Any geek knows that Spock's mother was human not Vulcan, so I'll just assume that's an editorial error. Otherwise there will be some kind of geek revolt.

08 November 2007

Priests Can Stalk People Too

A Boston priest was arrested in New York City last week and has been charged with stalking late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien, New York City police said.

Rev. David Ajemian has been placed on leave after he was arrested last Friday, the Archdiocese of Boston announced Wednesday. Ajemian, 46, remains in the custody of New York City police after he allegedly sent multiple communications to O'Brien over 14 months, police said.

CBS station WBZ reports that Ajemian is accused of sending O'Brien threatening notes on parish letterhead and contacting his parents. "I want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution - or a spot on your couch," wrote the Rev. David Ajemian, who signed the notes "Padre."

Court papers say Ajemian referred to himself as "your priest stalker" in one note and complained of not being allowed in to see an earlier taping of the O'Brien show. "Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?" the note said.

Ajemian was arrested at 30 Rockefeller Plaza while trying to enter a taping session of NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Ajemian was a reverend at St. Patrick's Parish in Stoneham, Mass., from 2005 to May of this year. He has not been reassigned to another parish since May.

New York City police officials said Ajemian is charged with aggravated stalking and harassment. They said he had been sending the popular talk show host e-mails and letters since September 2006.

This Makes Me Happy

Heroes Creator to Fans: I'm Super Sorry
On the chilly Monday morning that Hollywood's writers went on strike, Heroes creator Tim Kring called from the streets outside the Hollywood studio where his NBC series is shot. "Yes, I'm picketing my own show," says the 50-year-old writer-producer. "So surreal."

But Kring wasn't calling to discuss labor woes — he was calling to explain why Heroes, suffering a creative decline and a 15 percent ratings drop from the same period last year, went from Human Torch hot to Iceman cold. The good news? A turnaround appears to be under way. After weeks of sluggish storytelling, the Nov. 5 episode recaptured some of last season's fanciful energy. We've also seen the next two episodes — and we like them, too. The cliff-hangers are back. Narrative purpose has been discovered. Old favorites like Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) and Horn-Rimmed Glasses (Jack Coleman) take center stage. Even more encouraging: Kring himself is keenly aware that Heroes is broken. Here's his candid critique:

THE PACE IS TOO SLOW "We assumed the audience wanted season 1 — a buildup of intrigue about these characters and the discovery of their powers. We taught [them] to expect a certain kind of storytelling. They wanted adrenaline. We made a mistake."

THE WORLD-SAVING STAKES SHOULD HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED SOONER The premonition of nuclear apocalypse created a larger context that unified every story line last season. Kring now sees that Volume 2 (the first 11 episodes of season 2) would have been better served if Peter's vision of viral Armageddon had appeared in the season premiere rather than episode 7. "We took too long to get to the big-picture story," he says.

THE ROOKIES DIDN'T GREET THEMSELVES PROPERLY New Heroes Monica (Dana Davis), Maya (Dania Ramirez), and Alejandro (Shalim Ortiz) "shouldn't have been introduced in separate story lines that felt unattached to the show. The way we introduced Elle (Kristen Bell) — by weaving her in via Peter's story line — is a more logical way to bring new characters into the show." (That said, Kring says a few newbies won't make it beyond this second volume, which wraps Dec. 3.)

HIRO WAS IN JAPAN WAY TOO LONG Hiro's (Masi Oka) time-bending adventure in 17th-century Japan — where he mentored samurai hero Takezo Kensei (David Anders) — finally came to an end on Nov. 5. But Kring says it "should have [lasted] three episodes. We didn't give the audience enough story to justify the time we allotted it."

YOUNG LOVE STINKS Kring regrets sticking Claire (Hayden Panettiere) with a super-dud boyfriend and forcing Hiro to moon over a cutesy princess. "I've seen more convincing romances on TV," he admits. "In retrospect, I don't think romance is a natural fit for us."

Yet while Heroes has finally found some dramatic traction, this second volume is pretty much a wash. The Dec. 3 episode has been retooled to function as a potential season finale — a move inspired by the writers' strike and a desire to give the show "a clean slate" when it goes back into production for Volume 3. At that point, Kring wants to craft a rebooted Heroes that can attract new fans and win back those who've tuned out: "The message is that we've heard the complaints — and we're doing something about it."

Yes, more killing, less kissing. Love it when someone can admit they've screwed up, and I'm thrilled at the promise that they'll get back on track. If the writers would just stop striking.

This is a Man's Haircut, Right?


RIGHT??!!

American Gangster

Saw American Gangster last night. I loved every second of it. Mike wasn't as siced, because it wasn't violent enough for him. Bloodthirsty ass.

Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, not sure what else you need. The story was great. Denzel plays a dude (an American gangster, if you will) who turns into a 1970's Harlem drug lord by buying heroin direct from the manufacturer and selling it purer and cheaper. Kind of like Wal-Mart I guess.

The thing that always gets me in these gangster movies is the wife. They love it when they can have amazing houses, cars, jewelry, and clothes, but the second something goes wrong the bitches freak out. Where did you think the money was coming from, slut? So the movie has those kind of mobster-movie cliches, but I still love it.

This Makes Me Bitter

With the writers strike under way, FOX is switching up its 2008 schedule.

The biggest news is that Day 7 of 24 is no longer on the schedule. Originally slated to have a three-hour, two-night premiere on January 13 and 14, the writers' strike has left FOX in a bind: air the first eight hours, then pause until the strike ends, or postpone the season so fans can get one continuous 24-hour adventure. FOX blinked, and now fans will have to wait even longer to see Jack Bauer take on Tony Almeida and the FBI.

Meanwhile, those Prison Break fans worried about a break from December until April can settle down, as it will come back to its Monday at 8pm time slot on January 14.

06 November 2007

This is a Woman's Haircut, Right?


RIGHT??!!

B&C League Report: Week 9

Fantasy Football sucks! The Ravens suck!

OK, now that that's out of the way....

Congratulations again to the Losers, who are an awesome group of people: Wide Stance (I'm on a streak!), Hot Mama, Sex Panther, Grillz, and ManBearPig (thanks for seeking revenge on my loss, dude!).

The rest of you can suck my balls. As can the Ravens defense and offense. I'm tempted to cut all my Baltimore players, but then I'll be like Mike, switching QBs every week and still not getting results.

05 November 2007

Heroes Getting Back in the Groove

It's like this whole season up til now has been this massive set-up with no release. But finally next week we'll be getting the What-Happened-During-The-Past-Four-Months episode. Yay answers!

This week, Matt's powers expanded - Bob told him he has his father's abilities, the ability to control anything within the mind. So Matt enters Molly's nightmare, Freddy Krueger-style, traps his Pops there, and escapes with Molly. Papa Parkman had been working for the real mastermind behind the killings - Adam Monroe. And who does Adam turn out to be? Kensei, of course. Maybe he doesn't age on top of being able to regenerate. Cuz he's looking like he did in 1671.

Peter began this episode in 2008, being hosed down in decontamination. The Shanti virus spread and killed 93% of the world's population. Peter meets his mom in the future, and she helps him get his memory back. Well, really, she GIVES him his memory back, at least the memories of his family. He teleports himself Back to the Present - as does Hiro (thank you Jesus!). Hiro and Ando are all giddy and reunited and feeling so good - until Ando tells Hiro his pops is dead.

West finds out it was Claire's dad who abducted him. Bennet finds out Claire's been dating and using her powers - and says it's time to pack up the family. In Sanders Family news, D.L. returns - as an illusion created by Papa Parkman. It makes Niki rage out, and she injects herself with the virus to stop her from killing everyone. But Mohinder says this virus has no cure. Dun dun dun! Bob tells Mohinder to get Claire - "her regenerative abilities are the key." That's when Mo decides to confess that he's been working with Bennet to take down the Company. He doesn't know which side is the right side. Hell, I don't know which side is the right side anymore!

Next week should be good. Better be good! This football game stinks. I'm out.

Prison Break: Two Times the Fun?

A two-hour episode today that really packed a lot in. There were definitely some great tense moments, but a lot of the usual Prison Break Fake-Outs as well.

Lechero killed one of his dudes, pretty much slit his throat on television, and then strung him up in the prison yard. That didn't really have a point - I just thought it was cool.

Lincoln finally told Michael that Sara is dead. Michael blames Whistler for this (right, dude, it's not your fault that she helped you escape and got caught up in everything). He calls Whistler out with the chicken foot. Remember: chicken foot = fight to the death. Michael uses the time leading up to the fight as a distraction for the boys to set up their escape. They start down the window - Michael even touches the ground - but a freaking CLOUD ruins their plan, which hinged on a guard being blinded by reflecting sun. Way to account for weather, Scofield.

So they have to fight, but of course are interrupted by alarms. The guards discovered a guard that they drugged. Prisoner #2 is blamed for the escape and killed.

Dumbass Lincoln lies to Susan every chance he gets, but she refrains from decapitating L.J. Long story short, Hulk!Linc catches up to Susan and L.J. and punches her square in the face. Nice! But he ultimately pusses out, doesn't kill her, and we're back to where we started, with her taking off with L.J.

Long story short back at the prison, Lechero figures out it was Michael escaping and wants in on it. And the Big Reveal is that Susan has been working with Whistler this whole time. Michael sees them talking in the visitation area. Maybe that's not so smart - meeting in public.

As for Mahone, here's his plot: Mahone out. He's offered a deal by his old FBI cronies - 4 years in (an American) prison in exchange for his testimony about the President, the Company, etc. He's scheduled to testify at some hearing but it keeps getting postponed. This makes Crazy, Paranoid Mahone uneasy. He's wigging out and that's where we leave him.

Then I turn on the football game and the Ravens just scored their first touchdown, making it 7 to 35. Gotta go watch Heroes - it has to be better than this game!

24 Dagger of the Week

Just when I'm getting Tony back, they might take him away again. TV Guide says:
An extended work stoppage is likely to mean that there will be no new season of 24. Fox won't start the show if its story can't be completed in the real-time format (and 24 episodes) that viewers expect.

Give me just 7!!! Rename the show!!!! Give me back Tony!!!

STRIKE!

Long story short - if this thing continues for a while, Heroes (and all shows, but I only really care about Heroes) is only going to run 11 episodes this year, 24 will start hella late and wouldn't run a complete season, The Daily Show and Saturday Night Live are in repeats, we'll have to endure reality shows and news programming, and eventually movie scripts will run dry. Chaos I tell you! The end of days!
Hollywood is going to all-out war, after last-minute talks gave false hope that today's strike by the Writers Guild of America could be averted -- or at least delayed for a few days.

Talks collapsed at 9:30 p.m. PST Sunday after more than 10 hours of last-ditch negotiations, only a few hours before the official start of the strike by the WGA at 12:01 am PST.

Picketing will start at 9 a.m. today at more than a dozen high-profile locations in Hollywood with guild members told that they're expected to spend at least 20 hours a week on picket lines. Targets include CBS Radford, CBS Television City, Culver Studios, Disney, Fox, Hollywood Center, NBC, Prospect, Paramount, Raleigh, Sony, Sunset Gower, Universal and Warner Bros.

"The parties are so far apart on core economic issues that it's probably not going to resolved quickly," said Anthony Haller, a partner at the law firm Blank Rome. "The core issues in this dispute aren't the kind that can be subject to the usual sort of horse-trading you see in typical labor negotiations. It looks like the WGA does not think that the DGA will be strong enough to get what the writers believe they need."

Fantasy Football Report

McLovin = Dominance. I don't know how else to say it. ManBearPig has tapped out with 75, while McLovin's Tight End can add to his 100 tonight. Hey, ManBearPig - McLovin's balls are dry.

Wide Stance = Slipping. Ron Mexico is done with 101, but I've got to make up 51 points tonight with 4 Baltimore and Pittsburgh players. Even I don't have that much faith in the Ravens. And Adrian Peterson can bite me.

MacNCheese = On a Roll. She has already beaten Hot Mama 92 to 82, and still has a player tonight.

Sex Panther = A Season of Loser Quarterbacks. Cutler gets injured, netting him a big fat zero. Peterskin has him 103 to 42, with both having players tonight.

Finally, Grillz has to make up 27 points with Mark Clayton to beat KMo's 83.

04 November 2007

B&C Arrest of the Week


Chicago police say actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested at the Walgreens at 757 N. Michigan Av. around 2:30 a.m. Sunday after repeatedly refusing to leave the store.

A security guard repeatedly told LaBeouf that he wasn't welcome and had to leave because he appeared to be drunk, police said.

When the actor refused to leave, the security guard detained him and called police.

After he was arrested, LaBeouf was "very courteous and polite," and he posted bond before 7 a.m., police said.

LaBeouf, 21, of Glendale, Calif., was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing. He is scheduled to appear in court in Branch 29 on Nov. 28 at 9 a.m.

He's such a clean-cut kid. He gets arrested and it's for overstaying his welcome at a Walgreens. What a pussy!

Super Bowl Sunday


I'm butt-siced for the game today!! I'll be rooting for Peyton, but I picked the Pats, so I'll be schizoid during the game. I hope it lives up to my expectations - I want the total to be like 76!!!

We (by which I mean Mike) are making Game Day Chili and Sweet Potato Pie and I'll be drinking Woodchuck Cider, since it's Fall-like here.

03 November 2007

I Officially Live in Paradise


Apparently November 3 marks the beginning of the season I like to call The Reason I Live In South Florida. It was 70 when we went outside this morning. PERFECT!!!

02 November 2007

B&C DVR Alert II

Tyra's like a bad car wreck - I can't look away and she always leaves a bloody mess behind. Should I watch this show? I think I HAVE to watch this show.
In what is likely a first for television, Tyra Banks on Monday will devote her entire hour-long talk show to discussing ... the vagina.

"I have wanted to do this show for two years," says Banks, 33. "I know for a lot of women talking about what is going on in our bodies is extremely difficult, but it is incredibly important."

She added, "We should be able to talk to our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends about our bodies and not be embarrassed. I hope after this show women will not be ashamed about what's up down there."

Banks gives her audience an anatomy quiz, welcomes two gynecologists to the show, and shows a segment in which she takes a 28-year-old Plano, Texas, woman to her very first gynecological appointment – all in an effort to educate women about what can be an uncomfortable topic.

She explains: "My mother told me to look at myself because, 'It's just another part of your body that needs to be healthy just like your eyes, your nose, your ears, your mouth and everything else.' "

B&C Fatass Father of the Year


A judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail on Thursday likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there, given their drug problems.

"There isn't any structure there that this court can depend upon," Montgomery County Judge Steven O'Neill said before sentencing Reid's son Britt to up to 23 months in jail plus probation.

"I'm saying this is a family in crisis," O'Neill said.

Earlier Thursday, O'Neill sentenced Garrett Reid, a drug addict and dealer who said he got a thrill out of selling drugs in "the 'hood," to up to 23 months in jail for smashing into another motorist's car while high on heroin.

O'Neill said that searches of the Reid family's house and vehicles found a long list of drugs, guns and ammunition.

While police found only weapons and ammunition -- and not drugs -- at the house, O'Neill apparently based his remarks on Britt Reid's statement that he once mistakenly grabbed a Vicodin tablet instead of health supplements out of a pill drawer at the home.

He said both boys had been overmedicated throughout much of their lives and that Britt got hooked on painkillers when he suffered a football injury in high school.

"It sounds more or less like a drug emporium there with the drugs all over the house, and you're an addict," O'Neill told Britt Reid.

Police found a shotgun and hollow-point bullets along with cocaine, marijuana and OxyContin, a painkiller, in the vehicle Britt Reid was driving during a Jan. 30 road-rage encounter, and later found a handgun at the house that they believe he had brandished at the other driver.

They found vials of heroin and steroids, more than 200 pills and a drug scale in Garrett Reid's car the same day, when he injured another motorist.

Both sons lived at their parents' home in the suburb of Villanova at the time of their arrests.

He coaches winners and he raises winners!

B&C DVR Alert


Be sure to watch or record Saturday Night Live this weekend. I predict it will be The Greatest Ever. Because Brian Williams will be hosting. Yes, that Brian Williams.

01 November 2007

Feel Good Story of the Week

A 24-year-old New York City man remains jailed after he was found allegedly having sex with a 92-year-old woman's corpse inside the morgue of the hospital where he worked.

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.

Merino was arraigned Monday on a charge of desecrating human remains, a second degree crime in New Jersey. A judge set bail at $400,000 with conditions that included Merino surrendering his passport and submitting to a psychological evaluation. He faces a maximum of 10 years in prison, if convicted.

At least pick a hot, young chick. This is just plain gross.

BABIES!

Here are some pics from our trip up North. Me and Fitz at a museum.

Two cute-ass pics of Owen.


The trip home wouldn't be complete without a cold ride in my dad's "new" VW Thing.

Geek Patrol: Good News/Bad News

X-Files 2 is officially on. Fox announced that it will hit theaters on July 25, 2008 with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson both reprising their roles from the hit TV series. As with the first movie, series creator Chris Carter will direct from a script he co-wrote with Frank Spotnitz. As you might expect, very little is known about the plot and the press release boasts that the only people who know the story are "top studio brass and the film’s principals." What we do know is that it will be a stand-alone story that will take the relationship of Mulder and Scully in "unexpected directions."

Like I've said before it has been a loooooong time since the show was on the air. But I'll still check it out since I loved the show. The release date coincides with Comic-Con. I hope they make an appearance anyway!
NBC has pulled the plug on Heroes: Origins, the Heroes spin-off that was slated to run next April. The network declined comment, but sources said the possible strike by the Writers Guild of America — which could happen after the guild's contract expires midnight Thursday — played a role in the decision.

"Looking at everything in context of the strike, we’re evaluating all of our production commitments," said one insider. "Scripts haven’t been written yet."

Origins was designed to provide fans with six episodes of a fresh Heroes-related show in place of repeats in the spring. If the labor situation changes quickly, the network could revisit the decision to scrap the show.

Dagger! Maybe Kevin Smith and Eli Roth can come direct a regular episode instead. I thought this was a mistake for a new series to do anyway. They were believing their own hype a little too much.

Real Men Use a Bedazzler


Pretty much an average day at work yesterday. Dudes using bedazzlers and running around in short shorts. I carved this pumpkin at my desk.