31 January 2010

New Movie Of The Year

Once again, Bobby Z comes through with a hot tip. How the hell has The Losers never crossed my radar before? It's action, it's comedy, it's got Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba, Chris Evans, and Zoe Saldana - all my faves. It kind of looks like The A-Team only better (I know, right?).

See you April 9th.

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&from=sp&fg=MsnEntertainment_MoviesTrailersGP2_a&vid=1b9d070f-aff2-47f6-8a86-9b2b44ec4fc6" target="_new" title="'The Losers' Exclusive Look">Video: 'The Losers' Exclusive Look</a>

30 January 2010

Project Runway

Challenge: Team Challenge Alert! Create a high-end look worthy of being part of the master collection at the Met. And then they throw in the additional challenge of making a "look for less" - use 50 bucks to make a ready-to-wear design inspired by another team's look. Wow, that's convoluted.

Ping is, of course, a nutball as a team leader. She's a crazy shopper too - all over the place and frantic. Ugh, her energy is horrific.

Seth Aaron and Anthony are paired up and, as much as I hate Seth Aaron, they're a cute, funny partnership. The Douchebag has a sense of humor - go figure.

Runway: Jonathan and Mila's was gross. It was this gross Shamu-looking jacket and then what looked like running pants! I didn't think that Janeane and Ben's was anything special - didn't look very high-end or innovative. Ping and Jesse's sucked too, of course - the main piece had a Statue of Liberty vibe. A lot of the "looks for less" were really good. Emilio and Anna's was a FABULOUS dress. I want it!

Shows How Much I Know: Jonathan and Mila were one of the top two couples. I still say that outfit is gross.

Winner: Mila. Oh no. Just no. Is my taste level really that far off? Is the fact that I don't have Lifetime in HD the problem? Maybe I need to clean my glasses. Should've been Maya for sure. Boo.

Bye-bye: Ping. Oh thank god, take your crazy and leave.

29 January 2010

Yay For More Sketch Comedy

Wow, Will Ferrell has certainly made something of his little website, hasn't he?

(NSFW language. From a kid. Which is always comedy gold.)

28 January 2010

Fringe: Down With Nazis!

Freak of the Week: An entire Jewish wedding party gets wiped out in Brookline (been there - the city, not the wedding massacre).

Walter wore a purple tuxedo when he got married. Of course he did. He's also trying to fix up Peter and Olivia, and it's hilarious.

A toxin was released by a candle at the wedding, but it only killed the people who were related to a Holocaust survivor in the family. There was a strange dude at the wedding, and that dude later pops up at a coffee shop, leaving more bodies in his wake. He's testing a toxin that will only kill selected individuals - in the case of the coffee shop, he killed all people with brown eyes. Dagger.

Turns out Walter's dad was a Nazi - or actually a spy for the Allies, posing as a Nazi scientist - and he's the one who developed this toxin. Walter had his father's books with the formula, but Peter sold the books 10 years ago as an act of rebellion. He goes to visit his freaky little used-bookstore friend from last season, who somehow still has the record of who bought the book. Good record-keeping, dude, nicely done.

The team tracks down the Nazi who was trying to make his very own Master Race. He planted a trap in his home, trying to kill Walter, but Walter runs out in time. The Nazi, meanwhile, is at the World Tolerance Initiative conference, where I'm guessing his plan is to be... less-than-tolerant. Walter finds a way to reverse the toxin though, and it kills the Nazi instead.

The closest we get to a Walter Food Thing of the Week is the cup of tea he thinks Olivia's offering him at the second crime scene. I rewound a few times to try to figure out what he was eating in the lab - I think it was a granola bar, but that seems so pedestrian for Walter.

This Week's Code: FATHER.

So before the preview for next week, I'm all, "Again with the stand-alone episode?" I know I shouldn't complain, because I still love it, but we're going to get more alternate-universe soldiers with previously-frozen, reattached heads, right? Right!? Well, I got my answer big-time in the preview. The two universes colliding - people having 4 legs and being all conjoined with people (or their alternate selves). EPIC!

The Real World: DC

Josh finally does something - calls his girlfriend. Boring. Later, his mom calls and, like any awesome mom would, tells him his girlfriend is cheating on him. They all have really thick, gross Philly accents, which are like Baltimore accents, but somehow even lower-rent.

His girlfriend comes to visit and I can't wait to see what she looks like. She's tiny and she has really busted teeth. That's all I can say. And there's no further mention of the possible cheating. So maybe his mom just likes to start crap.

After his girlfriend leaves, Josh hooks up with a chick. Classy. It's uber-classy when he tells his girlfriend he's not getting his dick sucked, but he could be.

Erika gets the chance to sing with some band that only she knows, and she thinks it's a big deal. It isn't. Too bad her voice is all raspy, but she doesn't do too badly.

Ty cracks me up because he says dumb S all the time. Like his generalization that all women are dependent on men. And he wasn't kidding. I love it. I also love that it angers Andrew - he hates that Ty can say anything and Emily still likes him. Meanwhile, Ty's the one falling for Emily, and doesn't believe her when she says she's not catching feelings. Because she's not being "a woman." So because she doesn't love him, now he doesn't love her. Lame.

DC Sighting of the Week: McFadden's! Hell yeah. Had some happy hours there in the day.

27 January 2010

The Third Time Isn't The Charm

These poor boys. Hopefully they're as funny as daddy. And rich.

Hours after performing 'Free Bird' on the final Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, comedian Will Ferrell and wife Viveca Paulin welcomed their third son.

Axel Ferrell arrived Saturday morning, Jan. 23, in Los Angeles, his rep confirms to PEOPLE exclusively, adding, "All the Ferrells are well." Baby boy joins older brothers Magnus, 5 ½, and Mattias, 3.

Ferrell and Paulin, 40 – who met in an acting class 15 years ago and wed in 2000 – announced the pregnancy in September.

26 January 2010


Peter tries to call Deaf Girl. Peter needs to learn what "deaf" means. He has his dream about her again, with the cello-playing and the people dying, and he thinks Sylar is trying to help. Naturally, he wants to track Sylar down.

I actually like Gretchen now because, while Claire wants to go off and save everyone at the Carnival, Gretchen's all, "I thought you wanted to be normal. Then go to class." BEST LINE EVER! Claire doesn't listen and takes off, in order to protect T Bag and the Carnival from her father.

She convinces T Bag to turn himself in so that everyone in the Carnival can be left alone and no one gets hurt. As he's starting to surrender, shooting breaks out, but it's not Bennet. It's a massacre! And it's kind of awesome. R.I.P. Tattoo Girl - now take your Sprint phone daughter with you.

Mike gets kudos for figuring it out (thereby putting him on the same intellectual level as a Heroes writer - congrats). Samuel had Multiple Man do the shooting to make it look like Bennet did the shooting so that the Carnival would want to kill Bennet, hate the outside world, and rally around Samuel.

Deaf Girl shows up just in time to administer some first aid. Bennet's girlfriend calls Tracy (I was wondering where she'd been) because she somehow thinks Tracy can help this whole situation.

Matt's wife has welcomed Sylar into the house for lunch. Sylar eats up the damn scenery, as always. Love him. Would love him even more if he had his own sitcom.

Sylar asks Matt to go in and repress Sylar's memories so he doesn't know he has powers. Um, that stuff never works. Why do they think it would work now? Good lord, does no one learn stuff on this show? Matt somehow has the ability to bury Sylar's powers - wow, his powers just keep changing, don't they? He also traps Sylar inside his own nightmare of loneliness and starts to brick him up in his basement - Cask of Amontillado-style. Look, that whole thing made no sense, but I like the idea of him being bricked into Matt's wall - in a house he shares with his damn family. Dumbest idea ever.

It lasts all of a minute though, until Peter shows up. He "goes inside" Sylar's head and gets trapped in his own lonely nightmare, on the streets of NYC alone. Okaaaay.

25 January 2010


Alright so let's see, last we left this show, Renee went all crazy and Jack-like and cut off a dude's thumb to get his parole bracelet off. The dude's bleeding out - no crap - and so Jack helps out by getting some kind of acid to cauterize the wound. Jack has a lot of nerve calling Renee unstable - why, because she only cut off the dude's thumb and not his head? I'd also appreciate it if he'd stop saying she has a death wish. I'm pretty sure Jack's had a death wish during more than half of the seasons of this show. Learn empathy, man.

Renee cracks me up, mocking the thumbless guy and calling him a baby - and later a drama queen - for all the whining about pain. She gets Thumbless to take her to Vladimir but of course things don't go as planned and Renee is thrown in a car and driven away. And naturally the car is armored, and so the two-way doesn't work, and then there's a decoy car, and so Jack is following the wrong car. Vladimir kills Thumbless and Renee flat-out begs him to shoot her, which of course means he doesn't, and now he believes she has a nice weapons deal for him. She's in.

In less exciting news, Bad Russian Guy Sergei has two sons - one is David Anders and the less-famous one is dying because he transported the radioactive rods. Anders doesn't want his brother to die, and so he takes him to a doctor. There's your first Dumb Mistake By A Bad Guy That Will Lead To The Operation's Downfall.

President Hassan is hella pissed about his brother (and other members of his government) trying to overthrow him and he wants everyone dead. Meanwhile, his wife is playing the role of Elin Woods, all pissed because her husband loved that Blonde Journalist. And the U.S. President doesn't want him cracking down on his people and jeopardizing peace talks. Hassan's having an all-around bad day.

In least-exciting news, keep getting personal calls at work, Starbuck! You would think by now they'd have a ban on personal calls at CTU. And certainly a ban on leaving your freaking job during a terrorist crisis. Starbuck deserves waaaay better than this D-story. She heads home to find Rape Van Kevin (and, comically, some buddy of his on her couch) and we learn that they were in jail together - but it was a long time ago, when Starbuck was a minor. Kevin knows she works at CTU and wants her to cut him into some kind of money theft or something. CTU doesn't run Bank of America, Kev -- or does it?

23 January 2010

Project Runway

Challenge: Design a party dress out of a burlap potato sack (plus some trimmings and buttons and things).

Jesus decides he's going to totally cover the burlap with ribbons. Tim warns him that the challenge was to utilize the burlap, not just freaking cover it up. Idiot.

Seth Aaron says Ping's good at "that Asian-influence look". Yeah, she is - cuz she's Asian. And her name is Ping.

Ping's good at bringing the crazy, I know that much. And she makes a dress that looks like a barrel - and barely covers her model's ass. In fact, the flap in the back comes open as she walks, like a hospital gown. Nicely done, Ping. Way to bring that Asian influence. Do Asians show their ass a lot?

I was very happy that most of the designs looked good this time! I couldn't believe some of them started out as burlap. But there are still too many damn designers to sort through. Get me to the Top 8 please.

Amazing: Anthony (yay! he came through for me!), Ben (who are you? I love you), Amy (my Iranian Crush), Emilio, Jonathan, and Maya (my Goth Crush).

Bloody Awful: Ping. Pamela's was gross too because it was all faded-denim looking and horrifically ill-fitting. Her model looked like she had a big ass.

Shocking Revelation of the Week: Jesus has vampire eyes. Seriously, check them out.

Winner: Jay.

Bye-bye: Pamela. And seriously - look at that ass.

The Real World: DC

Andrew is such a nerd, and totally desperate. He's the kind of weirdo who only works in movies. Because he's "funny" and "quirky" and says things like, "I'm in love with you" to a chick he just met. Stuff like that works in romantic comedies, but I don't think that works in real life.

The only thing I find funny about Andrew is watching him get shot down by this chick constantly. He's practically date-rapey (but in a funny way, promise) because she just wants to spoon. Damn, he's desperate and it's hysterical.

In other news, the guys go to a gay sports bar, thinking it was just a regular old sports bar. I want to move back to DC so badly - I WANT TO GO TO THERE!

Also, Ashley's mom told her "I never want to see your ugly face again" and they haven't spoken in a year and a half. Ashley's a lucky bitch. (Zing!) Actually, she's just a bitch. To Mike. Back off my man! I don't want to see her ugly face again either.

Is Josh going to do anything this season? I mean, come on, put on a panda hat or something.

21 January 2010


Freak of the Week: Super sweaty guy in an office elevator gets a nosebleed and keels over dead. But then things get really freaky when all his veins pop out and rupture. Nice.

Olivia and Peter head to the office to start investigating when another person in the office comes down with the same blood-spray disease. It's contagious. QUARANTINE TIME!

But Peter and Olivia are in there, dammit! It's like my favorite part of Season 3 of 24 when Michelle was trapped in the hotel with the infection and Tony had to work on the outside. Fabulous stuff. And this of course makes Walter very upset and he works furiously to determine the nature of the infection.

He determines that the virus is trying to get out of the building - any time it is in a host, that person tries to go outside... or just jumps through a window. Olivia isn't infected, but Peter is - and he makes a frantic attempt to leave the building.

The government decides that killing the dozen people infected inside of the building is the only means of containing the virus. Well, do you really think Walter's going to let Peter die (again)? HELL NO!

Walter determines that sulfur is the way to kill the virus - and horseradish from the office refrigerator contains sulfur. I guess this makes horseradish Walter's (Lifesaving) Food Thing of the Week. While the CDC synthesizes a cure, the infected still have to be dealt with - they're trying to break out of the building. In order to save them (and, well, Peter), Olivia goes inside to set off a gas that will put them to sleep for a bit. Peter gets to her first, and they have a bit of a kick-ass fight, but luckily Olivia gets the ventilation system going and everyone passes the F out.

Astrid totally caught Walter when he said, "I can't let Peter die again." Oops. She's gonna be suspicious!

The Walter-ness was off the charts in this episode, between all the Peter drama and lecturing kids at the Boston Children's Museum in the kind of terrifying fashion that only Walter would.

This episode was good - and I'm a sucker for a good infection/people doing things against their will story - but we haven't had a nice mythology episode is a while. Weird, no? Lately they've been self-contained episodes.

This Week's Code: WINDOW.

Next week: Nazis!


Tosh.0 is my new favorite show. Thanks to Mary for the heads-up.

Mullet Samurai
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture

Movie of the Year: Hot Tub Time Machine

I saw a trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine last weekend and just about died. It's so bizarre it can only be the Most Hilarious Movie of 2010.

This trailer is red band - NSFW due to language and boobs - and totally worth it.

Good Luck With That

So who's going to watch the new/old The Tonight Show? Anyone? Bueller? *crickets*
NBC and Conan O’Brien have reached a resolution of the issues surrounding O’Brien’s contract to host The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.

Under terms of an agreement that was signed earlier today, NBC and O’Brien will settle their contractual obligations and the network will release O’Brien from his contract, freeing him to pursue other opportunities after September 1, 2010.

O’Brien will make his final appearance as host of The Tonight Show on January 22.

NBC also confirmed that Jay Leno will return to host The Tonight Show on March 1 and Jimmy Fallon will stay in his 12:35 a.m. timeslot. Because no one cared about Jimmy Fallon.

19 January 2010

Heroes: The Most Pointless Thing I've Seen All Year

Claire walks into a room at school for a study group and there's Sylar - he's written "Why Claire Bennet" half a million times on the chalkboard. Claire's all, "You killed my father!" Sylar just wants a friend. And he wants to take this whole school setting all the way - by brainstorming on the chalkboard about how much they have in common. She's all, "You're a psychopath." Sylar forces a kiss on her so he can... I don't know, pull out information like the Tattoo Lady. He teases her about her inability to tell Gretchen how she feels. Claire stabs him in the eye with a pencil, which is enough to get rid of his invisible-grip on her.

She grabs Gretchen and they hide in a closet. Get it? In the closet. But it wasn't Gretchen - it was Sylar disguised as Gretchen. El Oh El! Except... then he just walks away - so while I appreciate the deception, did he get the answer he needed? Has he just had enough of harassing Claire for the day?

Mohinder leaves for India, leaving Bennet, Ando, and Hiro to be the Three Musketeers. But Hiro passes out, and dreams/hallucinates/whatever a trial. World v. Hiro Nakamura. The Judge? His dad. The courtroom? The Burnt Toast Diner. (Wow, they really have no budget for sets, huh?) The prosecutor? Adam Monroe. The entire thing? Pointless and ridiculous.

Hiro wakes up from this pointless hour of television with his brain tumor gone. Well, damn, I guess he's going to live now....

I'm reminded how pissed off I am that Robert Knepper's on this show. It doesn't deserve him, dammit. My poor T Bag, forced to order a milkshake and creepily blather on and on to an old chick seemingly without a point. On the plus side, I solved a work issue in my head while he was showing her the cottage he built for her. At least I could use some of my brain tonight....

We end with a pissed-off Samuel, after being rejected for the 500th time, causing an earthquake and leveling the whole town. And Sylar shows up to Matt's house looking for him. OK.

Go Here Immediately

MacGruber actually looks good! Not only that, the villain's name is Von Cunth. I can 100% get behind the movie for that reason alone.

CLICK HERE - Language in trailer is NSFW

18 January 2010

24: Hour Two

Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Hassan are A-OK (luckily for Director Bubba), and Bad Russian Assassin's not happy. Freddie spots the Russian and gives chase on foot, with Jack and his Cute Asian Cop buddy soon following in their cop car. (Cute Asian Cop might be the new Lieutenant Baker. Yes, I'm still hung up on Lt. Baker from about 4 seasons ago.) Jack gets to the Russian just as he's about to shoot Freddie. R.I.P. Bad Russian Assassin.

Hassan's Brother isn't happy he's survived either, and worried he'll be found out - so he does the logical thing of stabbing a CTU agent in the neck and running away from the scene. Well, now you'll definitely be found out, ass.

We get an alarm in CTU - but it's not the usual lockdown alarm. DAMMIT! It's the hazardous materials alarm, triggered by the Russian guy's dead body - he's come in contact with weapons-grade uranium.

Jack gets back to CTU and - with a straight face - says he's going to try to catch the last flight out to Los Angeles. Yeah, good luck with that. CTU determines the Russian mob is behind all of this and it just so happens that Miss Renee Walker, our cute little freckled, wannabe Female Jack Bauer redhead from last season, has previous undercover work with the Russian mob. Renee no longer works for the FBI (she was fired for some sort of breakdown and it appears she attempted suicide - great, now she's unstable too!), but Bubba orders her to be brought in.

Lucky for everyone, Renee's cover is still intact with the Russians, so Bubba asks her to go back undercover. Wow, Bubba sure does ask for a lot from people without producing much himself. Renee says she'll go in, because I guess she cares about saving the world from nuclear-trigger-happy Russians.

Jack decides to tag along with Renee when she goes undercover. So much for Los Angeles. OH SNAP - LEOBEN IS THE LEAD RUSSIAN MOBSTER!!! Agent Starbuck better watch out! Callum Keith Rennie is the greatest bad guy ever! AND THEN DAVID ANDERS IS ANOTHER BAD GUY! He's like the second-greatest bad guy ever! This show truly has the greatest casting and I bow down to it.

It appears that when Renee was undercover, she banged her way through the Russian mob. Well yeah, that might screw you up. Nutjob whore. She is incredibly unstable and badass though (much like Jack) - she cuts off a Russian guy's hand to free him from a tracking bracelet. Ahahaha. She goes to Jack, "Find something to cauterize that wound." Yeah, that's something Jack would say.

Rape Van Kevin calls Starbuck from her apartment and is all, "I'm crazy, get over here." She goes. Will these people never learn? Unsavory people from your past won't just go away - have them arrested and tortured or something.

Question of the Night: Is Bubba a hunchback? Or does he just have bloody awful posture?

Also, it's pretty cool that New York has as little traffic as Los Angeles always did.

24: Hour One

Jack's looking for the Bad Russian Assassin when he's harassed by some young hoodlum basketball players. He speaks to them in a language they understand - he flashes his gun and offers $100 for the guy's whereabouts. Luckily, in the midst of playing the game, these young lads took the time to focus on a guy who was dropped off by a taxi nearby. This leads Jack to the house where Bad Russian Assassin was holed up - and the couple he was with are naturally dead now.

Herc from The Wire - this season has the best casting! - is a cop who shows up to the dead people's house. When he sees Jack Bauer with a gun, he naturally thinks he's the bad guy and tasers Jack's ass. Herc has a bit of a bad attitude and is all about vigilante-style justice. And good lord, but he beats Jack half to hell. Bad idea, Herc!

Naturally, Jack gets the upper hand eventually. With the Cute Asian Cop's help, they figure out the couple must have been killed by the Bad Russian Assassin.

The Blonde Journalist tells Director Bubba she was banging President Hassan, and that's why she has a keycard to his residence. Bubba calls Hassan to verify this, and he does. Nice that he's so trusting that he immediately tells Bubba all his dirty laundry. His Brother With The Fabulous Hair is none too pleased about this confession.

The United Nations building is evacuated when CTU decrypts whatever information it was that they had last night. It is, of course, false information that was planted, and evacuating the building is all part of the Bad Russian Assassin's plan. He's going to blow up the outside of the building instead.

Agent Starbuck's Harasser From The Past is back, and shows up to CTU: NY. You know Kevin's bad news because he drives a blue Rape Van. He's all shady and (of course) vague and demands a place to crash. So she hands over the keys to her apartment. Starbuck isn't very smart on this show.

As Freddie Prinze, Jr. escorts Hassan out of the building, the manhole beneath their motorcade explodes. To be continued. NOW.

Project Runway

Hard to believe we've got a new season already, but here we are. This is the way Project Runway is supposed to be - in New York, in the Atlas Apartments, at Parsons, with Michael Kors and Nina Garcia, and with Heidi pregnant and drinking apple cider instead of champagne.

There are far too many designers to keep track of. The Chinese Chick is insane. I like The Gay One. OK, I'll get specific. I like The Black Gay One. More specific? Anthony. And this year's Girl Crush is neck-and-neck between The Alt-Porn-Looking Girl and The Iranian One. Seth Aaron is a douchebag with douche-hair and a douche-name. I might want him dead.

Guest Judge: Nicole Richie, who is my favorite Reformed Wacko Chick ever. Unless and until Lindsay gets her damn act together.

I was largely underwhelmed by the runway. There were too many to keep track of, but these were the worst: The Black Chick's looked like it was from the 1980s. The Chinese Chick just drapes fabric all over someone and calls it a dress. She's weird. A few people did stuff that looked like business-wear from the 80s and 90s. Ugh. Jesus's looked like a leather car seat. Anthony's wasn't very good either. Blah.

The only one that stood out as good was Emilio's. The only one.

Winner: Emilio. Well, that was a no-brainer. It was the only one that was good. Plus he put a lot of work into it.

Bye-bye: Christiane a/k/a The Black Chick. We hardly knew ye. Your dress was fugly. Bye bye.

17 January 2010

24: Hour Two

CTU:NY looks like a spaceship, no? It's like something out of Star Trek, with doors that open horizontally and stuff. Maybe it's a little over-the-top now that I think about it.

Jack is ordered back to CTU for debriefing. CTU somehow traces the threat to the blonde journalist. They find her in record time, through all kinds of crazy technology. Aside from cameras and incredibly invasive advanced technology, CTU covers the city with drones. And that's the lesson today - technology < Jack. And this new CTU Director Bubba loves himself some technology and hates himself people who would question it (*cough*Freddie Prinze, Jr.*cough*). I'll bet they do some real high-tech torture now!

But the technology does help them nab the journalist, who is brought to CTU. Chloe, who is of course the smartest person in the room, is suspicious of how easy it was to find the right person. See, she's been on this show long enough to know there's always a guy behind a guy behind a guy.

Instead of debriefing Jack, Chloe feeds the beast, telling Jack of her suspicions that the journalist was framed. Director Bubba doesn't listen to Jack. BAD IDEA! Chloe tries to guilt Jack into helping her and let's face it - she has a point. He calls her any time of night with any request and she jumps. Jack's doing everything he can to walk away from the situation, but Kim insists he stay to help, essentially giving him permission. She's sacrificing him for the good of America, dammit!

Chloe hacks Jack's way into the armory where he starts loading up on guns. Unfortunately, CTU finds out he's there first and stops him. BAD IDEA! Jack blackmails his way out of it, getting permission to investigate his leads in exchange for not tattling on Director Bubba and his love for wonky technology.

Turns out the bad guy in the inner circle is Hassan's own brother. As distracting as Hassan's hair may be, his brother's hair is even worse. He looks like one of the Beatles. It's wavy and lustrous and... OK, maybe I'm a little jealous. The guy who I think is the lead assassin is a cop - part of the UN Security Detail assigned to Hassan.

Agent Starbuck gets a call from someone, harassing her about changing her name and having a wild past. Because every season has a CTU agent with a past who gets phone calls, sneaks around, and acts shifty. Oh yeah, and Starbuck is engaged to Freddie Prinze, Jr. Some day I'll use their real character names. Today is not that day.

24: Hour One

This season we start at 4 in the afternoon. The harsh light of day on the mean streets of New York City. Somewhere in those mean streets, Jack Bauer is asleep on the couch with his granddaughter. Oh how things have changed. Jack is living in a phat pad. Damn. Kim comes by to pick up the kid and Jack tells her he's decided to move to Los Angeles to be near them... tonight. Yeah, good luck with that. The day's just begun, Jack. (Meanwhile, if he's leaving, can I have his place in NYC? It's amazing.)

The President is still a woman (now divorced, and her daughter was sent to prison - HA!). It's hard for me to adjust to a female President when I've been watching Mad Men in the same day - I didn't think women had brains or were allowed to work, let alone run the country! If Don Draper could see this now! She's working on some peace talks with President Hassan, the guy with the pompadour hairdo from Slumdog Millionaire.

Jack's plans are disrupted when his buddy shows up at the door, with knowledge of an assassination plot against President Hassan. In no time, the guy's looking for a deal and Jack's strangling him, demanding to know the details.

Jack calls into CTU. CTU is in some sweet futuristic digs. Damn, son!!! I guess by now it's like the year 2018. The future! I am in love with the new CTU. Plus we get Agent Starbuck, Agent Freddie Prinze, Jr., and a CTU Director who used to head Bubba Gump Shrimp. Upgrade! Poor Chloe's only been in this office a month and she's having a hard time getting up to speed with the new technology. Chloe not on top of things? This really is new!

Jack grabs the Jack Pack and heads out with his buddy to the nearest helipad so he can be turned over to CTU. He calls Kim along the way to let her know he may be a little late. As he's performing some back-alley surgery on his buddy's bullet wound (using a mattress and a knife), some do-gooder sees them and calls 911 on his SPRINT PHONE. The police of course intervene and screw things up.

The bad guys find them and start shooting. Jack ends up taking one of them out with a fire axe to the chest and the other one takes a long fall down a stairwell. Holy crap! Those were some good kills, and we're still just in the first hour. After a huge helicopter explosion, Jack's buddy tells him that there's someone in Hassan's inner circle involved in the assassination plot. Guess who? The hot blonde journalist Hassan's banging. Duh.

R.I.P. Jack's buddy and some random CTU dudes.

16 January 2010

The Book of Eli

Wow. OK? Just wow. This movie was amazing. I had been looking forward to it since Comic-Con and let's face it - Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, and the apocalypse!? How can it miss?

I loved everything about this movie. The performances are great, the cinematography is great - there were a lot of really cool shots. I loved the sepia-tone of the whole thing and how dry and (I assume) realistic the End of the World looked. I actually normally hate movies where people are dirty the whole time (really, I HATE them), but it didn't bother me as much here. So if I could overlook the dirt, greasiness, and general lack of hygiene, it must have been a captivating film.

There's not much I can say that won't ruin it. You should know from commercials it's about a man trying to protect the Bible. I can imagine that if you are religious (I'm not), you'd really like the message in this film. It's all about faith, missions from God, that kind of thing. Plus it has a pretty killer ending that makes you want to re-think everything and see the movie again. It's definitely the kind of movie that will stick with you for a while.

14 January 2010

Fringe: FREAKS!

Freak of the Week: Cop stops a kid wandering along a wooded street by himself, and offers the runaway boy a ride. While in the back of the car, the kid's face changes and deforms. By the time they're back at the small-town station, he looks like a Klingon, what with the deformed forehead and all. Now here's the thing: I have a REAL problem with deformed looking people. The Hills Have Eyes, that one horrid episode of The X-Files, all of that stuff just freaks me out. Well, too bad for me, because into the police station come 2 adult deformed-ass people. Ugh. They shoot the cops dead, take the kid, and that's where The Team comes in.

While driving to their hotel, The Team is run off the road by the Klingon things and shot at. Walter remains snoring away in the back, unfazed, while Pacey shoots back. Peter gets a shot at the dude, and by the time they track a blood trail, the guy's dead - and back to normal-human-looking. Yet by the time they get the body back to Boston he's all deformed again. Ew.

The freakiness can be traced to the nearby military base, natch. And an invisibility experiment called Project Elephant that Walter worked on. It turns out the whole damn town is freaky. What really changes is our perception of the people -- like, they look normal in their town, but when taken outside of it they look like freaks.

Until Walter finds and switches off the machine that camouflages the people. Then I have to stare at this woman's deformed face while she explains things. *shudder*

Walter Awwww Moment of the Week: Walter doesn't want to go to the supermarket, and won't get out of the car, no matter how much Peter coaxes him.

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He found an old, dusty box of Devil Dogs in the library where he had hidden his files. Because of course you would hide Devil Dogs with your files. If you're Walter Bishop. Dear Partiers: get fresh ones, please.

Can I Also Add: Broyles is the effing man!! Walter pleads with him not to expose the town, and to let the people go back to camouflaging themselves. So Broyles is all, "Did you find the machine? Because if you didn't, then there's nothing to report." It took Walter a little while to catch on.

This Week's (Non-Botched) Code: MUTATE.

Next Week: Looks off the chain - Peter infected with something, Walter trying to save his life (again). Good stuff!

We Got That B Roll

Shout-out to Mary. I finally watched Tosh.0 and it's BRILLIANT!! Check it out. Plus it brought me this great clip.

This Is Why You Don't Bet Against The Baltimore Ravens

The Real World: DC

Ty, fresh from banging Emily, calls his freshly-ex-girlfriend to let her know. Wow, honest. But like, what was she supposed to say? And if y'all had broken up, why do you need to tell her? She just hung up on him.

Ty turns into a bitch after sex, and is all weird with Emily. I suppose he feels guilty, and so he's possessive and jealous and wanting way more out of the relationship already. Weirdo. They half-seriously fight, and she spits in his face. LOL. She has bigger balls than he does. She's such a dude.

The rest of the episode focuses on Callie's beautiful chunkiness. LOL that Josh and Andrew think she has a great body - because she has meat on her bones - but don't want to tell her because she'll take it the wrong way. They're sweet. Unfortunately, Ty is an asshole and makes a comment that Callie's "not skinny enough" for Playboy. Poor thing. He's also the asshole because he doesn't understand the problem with what he said, and it takes Emily talking to him for 85 hours to make him realize.

Eff you, Callie! You look good! Own it! Stop crying over that ass! Why the eff would you want to be in Playboy anyway? Also, please take off that yellow nail polish.

Die Jay Leno and NBC

So... how many people will watch Jay Leno return and how much must it suck to have to go back to your old job? I don't blame Jay here, I blame NBC and the crappy decision-making. Let's hope Conan and his staff 1) get paid and 2) find a nice creative outlet for themselves.

Late-night funnyman Conan O'Brien's last night as host of "The Tonight Show" will likely be next Friday, allowing Jay Leno to reclaim his old time slot.

"Conan does not currently plan on doing any more new shows after next week,” a source told People magazine's Web site this afternoon.

TMZ.com reported today that Leno struck a deal with NBC to reclaim the 11:35 p.m. to 12:35 a.m. "Tonight Show" slot.

If Jan. 22 is O'Brien's final live broadcast, the show will have ended two weeks before NBC’s scheduled preemption for its 2010 Winter Olympics coverage.

O'Brien's departure means that Leno will return to "The Tonight Show" desk at 11:35 p.m. in a deal the long-time host finalized today with the Peacock network, TMZ.com reported.

Under the contract Leno had been working under, TMZ.com reported that he had been guaranteed the 10 p.m. hour. By moving Leno back to late-night, NBC was in breach of his contract and needed to negotiate a new deal.

NBC has declined comment.

The bombshell reports come two days after O'Brien released a statement saying that he would not go along with the network's plan for him to host a relocated "Tonight Show" at 12:05 a.m., following "The Jay Leno Show" at 11:35 p.m.

"I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is [The Tonight Show's] destruction," O'Brien had said in the statement.

On Wednesday night's show, O'Brien took a swipe at Leno, saying, "Hosting 'The Tonight Show' has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me -- and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life, unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too."

Network executives have been fighting a losing, two-front war since giving O'Brien the "Tonight" job.

Not only has Leno's 10 p.m. show been weak in the ratings, but CBS's "Late Show with David Letterman" has consistently been beating O'Brien.

In the 10 p.m. slot, NBC had nothing in development worth investing the millions it would take to rush to the air. So NBC pulled Leno, who replaced the legendary Johnny Carson, out of retirement and created a 10 p.m. "Tonight"-esque show to fill that slot without spending much money.

But "The Jay Leno Show" -- while profitable to NBC -- did not attract enough viewers to satisfy its affiliates, left holding the bag with an ineffective lead-in to their 11 p.m. newscasts.

O'Brien's departure could usher a move to Fox, although he has denied that he is in negotiations with them.


12 January 2010


Bennet and his girlfriend are digging up info on T Bag when they come across the woman he's obsessed with - and she's a Cylon. Vanessa's parents owned the estate Samuel grew up in - so has he been obsessed with her for like 40 years? And why, of all the people they've investigated from Samuel's past, did they decide to focus on her? They must have read a script.

Bennet drops by Matt's house, where Matt is now Mr. Mom. A comparison is made between T Bag and Osama Bin Laden. Really. They track down Vanessa and Matt uses his mind to convince her to talk to them.

She says they were engaged, but he wanted her to join a Carnival and for Christ's sake, she's too hot of a cougar for a Carnival. He's still obsessed with her and calls her all the time. Drunk dialer.

Samuel shows up, steals Vanessa away to the Carnival, and is generally creepy with her. Matt and Bennet try to track them, but they're unsuccessful because the Carnival moves/is invisible/whatever. I wonder why Matt doesn't just use his power to convince Bennet to STFU and leave him alone. It would be easier. Maybe he did (though they didn't make it obvious, like they normally do) because Bennet leaves him and goes to Claire's dorm room. He says all kinds of gay stuff about wanting to repair the burned bridge of their relationship. But I'm distracted because Claire's hair looks a darker shade of blonde, and I like it.

Matt, meanwhile, gets all self-loathing, whining to his wife that he should have done something to stop Sylar and save people.

Tattoo Lady says the Carnival will need a new leader - and it's Peter. She thinks really hard about him and - across the country - the compass tattoo reappears on his arm and moves. Well, that's a new power. I do so love these people's ability to manifest powers based on what's convenient.

Hiro and Ando are in Florida, where Ando has blindly listened to Hiro's ramblings, and committed him to a random mental hospital, not knowing Hiro's intent. His intent, of course, is to free Mohinder, whom he had trapped there during his time travels. Ando still has his electrical power, so he breaks in and sees that the "Dr. Watson" Hiro keeps blathering on about is Mohinder.

Ando switches out the drugs on the unsupervised drug cart, so that Mohinder won't be drugged anymore and can return to his super-strength self. Health care in Florida must really suck if you can 1) have someone committed so easily 2) have your pick from the drug cart.

Though he's been in a straight jacket on the floor for 6 months, 1 missed dose means Mohinder is up and aware and stronger than ever. They break out of the hospital no problem. As they're on the run, Mohinder decides it's a good idea for Ando to use his lightning power to unscramble Hiro's brain so he can teleport them. Well that was easy. And also THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW. And that's saying a lot. There's no way that move could have backfired, nope not at all.

In Deaf Girl news, she plays the cello and summons Peter. He sees Samuel's compass on her cello and takes some giant leaps to determine Samuel's evil. Mama Petrelli freaks out when she sees Peter with Deaf Girl - she had a dream about her, and she's going to kill thousands of people. Peter wants to know more, so he takes Mommy's power so he can figure it out for himself. Oy.

Peter has the same dream - Deaf Girl is playing the cello, I assume summoning special people to slaughter. It's kind of clear she's being forced or crazy or something, and Sylar is nearby. So Peter does the sensible thing - goes over to Deaf Girl's apartment and smashes her damn cello! YAY! NO MORE CELLO!!! Thanks, Peter!

In the end, Bennet and his girlfriend are making out when Mohinder, Ando, and Hiro pop in. Cock blockers.

Conan Has Big (Ginger) Balls

To be honest, I don't even watch the late-night shows all that often. But when I do, Conan O'Brien is my entertainment provider of choice. I hate how he's getting the shaft after what was an obviously-terrible idea by NBC.

Here's a statement he released today, which I love. Way to show class and a sense of humor. NBC doesn't deserve you, Conan.

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.



11 January 2010

Fringe: Bonus Monday Episode

There was a day when a double bill of Chuck and Fringe would be just about the greatest night of my life. But is it me or has Chuck not been good these last 2 days? I'm disappointed and Fringe had better not do me wrong, is what I'm saying.

So we get Fringe on a Monday, but there's a catch - it's an unaired Season One episode. Which is kind of odd, because you have things like Living Charlie Francis. Don't get me wrong - I freaking LOVE Charlie, but now you're just rubbing salt in the wound and making me miss him even more. You Fringe bastards.

Freak of the Week: Girl (Lisa) is taken off of life support and the doctors start harvesting her organs. Damn, they really do that fast, don't they? No rest for the dead. I guess they did it a little TOO fast because the chick is still alive. She jumps up and starts yelling out some code.

The code is for a classified nuclear submarine launch code. Later, Lisa speaks Russian. She's developed a psychic link with a missing dude, and she leads the team to his dead body - he was murdered at the same time Lisa came back to life.

Walter feeds Lisa drugs to speak to the dead guy possessing her body - it's like something out of The Exorcist. Cool stuff. While possessed by the dead guy, Lisa escapes the lab and goes to the guy's home to kill his wife, who had hired a guy to kill him. The team arrives though, and Peter talks Lisa down while Charlie, preferring the direct route, shoots a tranq dart in her back. Lisa is better and the dead guy is gone. The end.

This episode may not have moved things forward at all (because it was, well, the past), but I learned 2 things: 1) Olivia and Peter drinking beer and eating pizza = hot. 2) Pacey walking through a junkyard with a flashlight = hotter.

Observer Sighting: He walked behind Olivia as she was talking to the girl's mom outside of church.

Food Thing of the Week: None, sadly. Peter accused Walter of drinking all of the cream sodas. But I'd say the Fringe Partiers can look forward to beer and pizza Thursday night!!! (It's either that or milk straight from a cow.)

Alternatively, you could go with Walter's Line of the Night: "We need more drugs!"

This Week's Code: ASENGE. Um, what? Maybe I got the code wrong lol. I even tried Google Translator and no dice. I guess my code-cracking = FAIL.

09 January 2010

The A Team Trailer

Sorry, but I made all kinds of high-pitched squealing notices while I watched this. The A-Team freaking rules and this looks good. Corny and good. And Sharlto Copley rocking a drawl? Yes please! I always loved Murdock.

The Real World: DC

Andrew hearts Callie. Ashley tells Mike he can bang her anytime he wants. Ty is attracted to Emily's personality. You can't bang personality. During a night out, they all end up making out (except for Callie and Andrew because, let's face it, Andrew's too goofy to take seriously). But Ty also ends up kissing a random and Emily's grossed out.

Mike's Colorado boyfriend is coming to visit soon! OMG I CAN'T WAIT! They go to a gay bar a/k/a my paradise. Mike makes out with adorable Robbie on the pool table. Thank you for not making me wait until Mike's BF visits. Once Mike's made out with a dude in front of her, Ashley is all, "I don't want him. I don't know where you guys got that." Oh really, Ashley? Read the second sentence of this post.

Andrew needs to know that he's going to keep being rejected by Callie if he keeps wearing a panda bear hat.

Mike goes to an interview wearing shorts and a tee shirt. I mean, there's business casual and then there's CASUAL. Idiot.

Andrew hooks up with a random, but she's clearly only there for the cameras. I hate obvious whores. Andrew didn't get laid, and blames it on the girls being all snoopy, but let's face it, it's because it's Andrew.

By the end of the episode, Ty and Emily have done it. It.

07 January 2010

Holy Crap

I'd heard Artie was hospitalized - and it's kind of par for the course with him - but STABBING YOURSELF? His poor mother. I haven't listened to the show in years, but I remember they were close.

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said.

Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges.

A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding.

"We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."

05 January 2010

Heroes Part 2

So we're at Nathan's funeral (no sign of his ex-wife or his sons, naturally) and there's that fabulously over-done, cliched shot of the 21-gun salute accompanied by someone being startled by it and a tear rolling from her eye. In this case, Claire. I'm really over that damn shot.

We flashback to a couple days ago when Bennet shows Nathan's body to Peter - his head has been cut off and sewn back on. So that's weird. Was it the only way they could show us 100% that he was dead? That seemed weird.

Everyone's all bitchy at Nathan's wake - Claire's bitchy with Bennet for making Fake!Nathan, Peter's pissed at Mommy for a host of reasons. Claire and Peter are in the kitchen bitching with each other when Claire cuts her finger accidentally. She feels pain - and it doesn't heal - because Peter has the Haitian's power. Right, that inconsistent power that I thought he needed to activate, but apparently he doesn't, thereby not-covering-up the holes from earlier.

Later, Peter goes back to listening to the police scanner and heads out to save a chick who has been shot by a disgruntled co-worker. Claire follows him and attends to the wounded woman while Peter fancies himself a hostage negotiator. He saves the day, but not without being shot first, and Claire not-so-quickly passes on her healing power.

Sylar swings by the Carnival to bitch at T Bag. He's here to feast on powers. Well T Bag shows him - by starting up a dirt storm that rips half of Sylar's face off! Again, that was cool. DO MORE COOL STUFF!

Naturally, Sylar reassembles himself and T Bag sends Tattoo Girl to bang Sylar and figure out what's up. So as they're making out, Tattoo Girl uses her power to determine... that Sylar is lonely and doesn't want to die alone. Haven't we been through that whole lonely thing before with him?

T Bag wants Sylar to join up with the Carnival so he can have a family, and they decide to let the tattoo decide. It's like a Magic 8 ball, only it allows Sylar the chance to be shirtless. The tattoo shows Claire, so Sylar's off to college.

Our old friend Edgar the Fast Mover is back for Bennet, but Bennet is somehow faster and tases his ass. Bennet brings Edgar to a restaurant's walk-in refrigerator (no really, he rented out the whole restaurant for that), because the cold slows him down and makes him easy to control/interrogate/torture. Edgar pretends to ally with Bennet to take down T Bag (CULT RAID!) but it's a trick and he gets away, with the raid plans. OK. So why did Bennet have to ruin that restaurant's business for the night?

I also like the fact that Claire went back to school (in Virginia, right?) and still had the woman's blood on her hands. In the age of swine flu, we really should be washing our hands more, Claire.

04 January 2010

Heroes Part 1

Somehow I'm getting sick again. WTH? So there's no way I can endure 2 hours of Heroes, not when I need to be in bed by 9:00. The second episode will wait until tomorrow.

Claire's working at the Carnival now - picking up trash and bringing T-Bag his pancakes. The Multiplier Guy is creeping her out. OK, we get it, he stares at her funny. Enough! She's being all nosy, trying to get into T Bag's trailer, where he's poking through a Primatech Paper box. The Puppet Master catches her and pulls her out of there, asking what she's doing, and throwing her against the trailer. Oh. I thought they were new BFFs. Nice way to treat your friends.

Through some superb deductive powers that would put Sherlock Holmes to shame, Claire figures out who Joseph is and that T Bag killed him. And now she knows that he's evil and needs to be stopped! The dialogue between them makes me want to throw up. They really just shoehorn all of this crap in. I guess that's what happens when you write yourself into a million corners.

Hiro pops into Japan and talks a bunch of nonsense about Star Wars, Highlander, Battlestar Galactica, and Don Quixote. What did he become? Irrelevant Pop Culture Reference Man?

Luckily, Hiro still has his business card on him, and so the police contact Ando. He explains it easily enough - Hiro has a brain tumor. Ando figures out that Hiro is kind of speaking in code, and when he talks about rescuing Dr. Watson from a castle, he means going after Mohinder in a psychiatric hospital in Florida. OK.

We get a random black and white flashback to Young T Bag, pining after a girl named Vanessa.

Deaf Girl is back, and she's been rejected from medical school. How sad. I don't care. T Bag shows up at her apartment all, "I'm the one who sent you the cello." Oh - the wall-cracking cello? Thanks. Take it back. T Bag asks for Deaf Girl's help in finding a dude who can grow flowers and plants - I'll call him Mr. Green Thumbs. It seems she can summon people with the power of her cello - by thinking about them and playing in the park. OK. Weird.

T Bag wants Mr. Green Thumbs to - I'm guessing here - make the land near the Carnival inhabitable. Dude, plant some sod and have patience like the rest of us. Or for Christ's sake - plenty of people live in a desert, just live there. Instead, Mr. Green Thumbs offers up grass and flowers on the desert soil. So, um, all your problems are solved then? Huh? Claire is impressed by the greenery, but still decides to go home. Right - school's starting back up.

Nathan's death is being reported on the news as part of a single-passenger plane crash. Claire finally checks her emails with all these messages from her dad and Peter. The funeral begins. Oh finally the show gets interesting. And now I'm off to bed. To be continued....

02 January 2010

Lars and the Real Girl

Yes, I'm reviewing a movie that came out 2 years ago. GO RENT IT! (Or if you have Showtime, catch it there.)

I had always wanted to see this in theaters, and finally DVR'd it when I saw it on the schedule. This is an amazing little film. It's this fabulous study in mental illness combined with a feel-good story about an amazing support system. Ryan Gosling is amazing as a screwed-up, way-beyond-shy guy who buys a Real Doll -- not as a sex partner, but as a girlfriend. He talks to her and wheels her around in a wheelchair. He lives with his brother and his pregnant wife, who work to help him. In fact, the entire town goes out of their way to make Bianca feel like part of the community - she gets elected to the School Board at one point!

Everyone is so understanding in this small town in Wisconsin, it's kind of unreal. But if I can set my cynicism aside, so can you. It's just downright adorable how loving everyone is toward Lars, knowing that they can help him heal. The town really does come to love Bianca just as much as Lars does.

This is such a pleasant little feel-good film. Watch it, live it, love it.

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Nine Sillies: TV is My Best Friend

Best TV of 2009:

8. Curb Your Enthusiasm – It was so good this year. The Seinfeld reunion was amazingly perfect, along with the usual inappropriate antics of Larry David.

7. Community – I started watching for Joel McHale – and he’s great – but OMG those supporting characters!? How amazing are Abed (Danny Pudi) and Troy (Donald Glover)? AMAZING! And I wish Senor Chang taught me Spanish.

6. Parks & Recreation – I didn’t love this show last year, but this season has been great!! Louis C.K. as the cop boyfriend and Chris Pratt as Andy really helped put it over the top. Really, the whole cast is pretty fabulous – Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, and Aubrey Plaza... OMG Aubrey Plaza kills me as April the intern.

5. Being Human – This reminds me that the show is coming back soon! You can wait to catch it on BBC America or try to find *cough*alternative*cough* methods of viewing it. It’s a great British show about werewolf, ghost, and vampire roommates. It’s hot and funny and fabulous!! (Dear America: Please don't remake this. You'll ruin it.)

4. So You Think You Can Dance – Still the best place to go for real (and amazing) talent.

3. The Soup – And not just because I went to a taping this year. It’s always great, and it’s not just about Joel – I love me some Mankini and the other random little “characters” – they’re real to me, dammit!

2. Chuck – Edged out by Fringe this year, but really they’re equal in my mind. Just depends on if you’re going for tragic/scary/fun or comedic/fun. All the characters are fabulous. I bought my Five Dollar Footlong and helped to get the show saved. Can’t wait til this comes back this month!

1. Fringe – I can’t be more in love with a show if I tried. I love every single damn character and Walter Bishop breaks my damn heart on a weekly damn basis.

Worst Show I Can’t Stop Watching: Flash Forward. For a second there, it got better, but then it went back to sucking. The main problem is that I don’t care about the characters – seriously, they could all die and I’d move on with my life. The flash forwards are too damn repetitive, especially when I don’t care about the characters!!

Worst Shows Period: Life on Mars (Never. Americanize. Anything. Brilliant.) and Prison Break (a show I didn’t even recognize toward the end, it had fallen so hard).

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Nine Sillies: Movies

Because my Best Of lists are nothing if not arbitrary, I'll do the Top Seven movies of the year and the Bottom Two - thereby adding up to 9 for 2009.

7. Fast & Furious – Everything you could ask for in a Fast & Furious movie. Homo-eroticism, fast cars... yep, that's about it.

6. Star Trek – Chock full of entertainment from start to finish, even if you’re not into sci-fi. Lots of hotness, too.

5. The Hangover – Definitely the best comedy of the year. It’s fun, funny, and features a naked Asian dude – not sure what more you’re looking for.

4. The Hurt Locker – Amazingly tense and well-performed.

3. Up In The Air – It’s the kind of movie you like even more when you start thinking about it. I really loved the ambiguity, and the 3 stars in it are amazing.

2. District 9 – Original, believable, groundbreaking. Screw Avatar, this was the best sci-fi movie of the year. Sharlto Copley is the Best Actor of the year too, dammit.

1. Inglourious Basterds – It really is Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece, and that’s saying a lot. I can watch this movie over and over and see something new to love about it every time. And I do. Just when I thought Christoph Waltz (Oscar or die!) was the best thing in the movie, Brad Pitt cracks me up. Just when I thought it was all about the dialogue, the framing of a shot slays me. This movie makes me want to learn German in the worst way possible. Hands down the best (and most fun) movie of 2009.

And the 2 worst movies (that I saw) of 2009:

G.I. Joe – No. Just no.

New Moon. I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it. I went for the laughs, and there were some for sure, but mostly it was just a slow, boring, dreary sequel to a slow, boring, dreary movie. But with 300% more abs.