Baloney & Cereal Oh-Nine Sillies: Movies

Because my Best Of lists are nothing if not arbitrary, I'll do the Top Seven movies of the year and the Bottom Two - thereby adding up to 9 for 2009.

7. Fast & Furious – Everything you could ask for in a Fast & Furious movie. Homo-eroticism, fast cars... yep, that's about it.

6. Star Trek – Chock full of entertainment from start to finish, even if you’re not into sci-fi. Lots of hotness, too.

5. The Hangover – Definitely the best comedy of the year. It’s fun, funny, and features a naked Asian dude – not sure what more you’re looking for.

4. The Hurt Locker – Amazingly tense and well-performed.

3. Up In The Air – It’s the kind of movie you like even more when you start thinking about it. I really loved the ambiguity, and the 3 stars in it are amazing.

2. District 9 – Original, believable, groundbreaking. Screw Avatar, this was the best sci-fi movie of the year. Sharlto Copley is the Best Actor of the year too, dammit.

1. Inglourious Basterds – It really is Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece, and that’s saying a lot. I can watch this movie over and over and see something new to love about it every time. And I do. Just when I thought Christoph Waltz (Oscar or die!) was the best thing in the movie, Brad Pitt cracks me up. Just when I thought it was all about the dialogue, the framing of a shot slays me. This movie makes me want to learn German in the worst way possible. Hands down the best (and most fun) movie of 2009.

And the 2 worst movies (that I saw) of 2009:

G.I. Joe – No. Just no.

New Moon. I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it. I went for the laughs, and there were some for sure, but mostly it was just a slow, boring, dreary sequel to a slow, boring, dreary movie. But with 300% more abs.