30 November 2010

The Event

The dude who was after Leila comes to and Sean threatens to kill him if he doesn't get answers. Only we all know he won't pull the trigger. Instead, he injects the guy with a syringe the guy had on him, a syringe meant for Leila. It makes the dude age. Too bad Leila wasn't injected - we could be rid of her quicker.

The Newly-Old Dude says they need to go to Willow Brook Hospital, but then he dies. So That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend head there, hoping to find Leila's sister. It's a mental hospital where the employees play fast and loose with privacy rules - Leila easily find a list of patients and pretends one of them is her aunt so they can enter the facility.

Sean snoops around while Leila asks the crazy woman if there are any kids at the hospital. But Sean is quickly caught, in one of those poorly-lit back hallways that all hospitals have. As they are escorted off the premises, another patient yells to them that there are indeed kids there, that he can hear them under the floor. Guess they'll need to find a way back in.

Aaaaaand, of course they do - they sneak in at night while the janitor's taking out trash. In the elevator, Sean uses the key card with the triangle on it to access lower floors. More poorly-lit hallways - the kind where the lights are flickering. Oh, show, you love the cliches. They find a bunch of rooms that have been recently- and hurriedly-vacated by children. Leila makes the smart move of screaming her sister's name, running the hall and trying to find her. She finds a room where "LEILA" is written on the wall. IDK, if I'm kidnapped I'm not going to write my sister's name on the wall. This girl must be just as smart as her sister.

They pick through some burned case files and luckily find one mostly intact. It's a file on that kidnapped-kid's father - containing multiple photos that show the dad hasn't aged. And there's another intact file - Leila's dad's. He's an alien dun-dun-duuuuun. It's really helpful that all of these photos are dated with a handwritten label. Thank god.

President Underwood and Sterling visit the VP in the hospital. The VP pulls the whole, "I have a head injury, I don't recall" bit when asked who was behind the assassination attempt. They're pulled away for a national security emergency - a missile has been discovered on satellite photos, in some fake country. Or at least no country I've ever heard of. Sterling says it's got to be terrorists making the missile.

Meanwhile, Sophia, Thomas, Alien Asian Hottie, and Thomas's duplicitous girlfriend from last week are hanging out. That chick shot herself in the knee last week - why are they making her sit on the ground Indian-style doing some weirdass tea ceremony? Hasn't she been through enough?

Sophia is suspicious of Thomas and his GF, and wants AAH to follow the money, find out what Thomas is up to. AAH finds Thomas's banker dead in his bathtub. Well, that's one way to get rid of the money trail.

As the President, et al. watch satellite video of the missile installation (it's a Middle Eastern country, natch), we see that Thomas and his GF are the ones behind it. The special effects are... special... as the missile is launched. The U.S. isn't the target though, and the missile isn't carrying the nuclear payload they thought it was. Instead, what they've done is launch a communications satellite. Thomas is phoning home.

Hey, whatever happened to those crappy flashbacks this show used to have? I mean, they were crappy, but at least be consistent.

22 November 2010

The Event

A signal is sent out to the aliens living among us (via text message, natch), and they all gather in a hotel ballroom with Thomas and Sophia, like they're having a goddamned conference. There are a lot of them.

Sophia lays out the plan to go home, but most of the aliens like Earth just fine, thank you very much. Thomas is banging a fellow alien who wants him to be the leader... and shoot his own mother in the face. There's a super long, boring setup, as Thomas and Mommy travel to pick up some part that's vital to their returning home. Just shoot this Botoxed bitch in the face already! Surprise, surprise - he can't kill Mommy, even for a sweet piece of cougar ass and all the power in the world.

In exchange for her betrayal, Sophia gives the cougar a choice: be ostracized from the alien community or shoot yourself in the knee. Shoot yourself in the knee? What kind of deal is that? She shoots herself in the knee. The Mama's Boy watches from the car.

That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend call his FBI agent buddy (remember her?) to discuss the missing girls. FBI agent says that one missing girl recently returned home. How convenient! Time to hit the road once again and drive to Tulsa!

Sean and Leila talk to the girl's mother, and then the little girl comes out, saying she knows Leila's sister. But her overprotective parents freak out and kick Sean and Leila out. That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend then do an absolutely horrific job of following the family when they drive off. Like, way to be obvious, lurking at the bottom of the driveway and following one car length behind.

When they stop at a gas station, Leila confronts the mom and girl in the bathroom to try to talk some sense into them without Daddy Buttinsky around. It's then that we see the girl's face clearly, and she looks like an old woman. The girl says that they were being held at a hospital, and that there was a triangle symbol on the drugs the kids were shot up with. Also, there was a water tower. I'm guessing Leila and Sean will put this together in 6 seconds, like they always do.

But Hal Holbrook sent someone after the girl as well, and he's doing a shite job of casually following as well. In the ensuing chase - a chase which leads from the gas station through a field of dead corn stalks - Sean takes on the gunman, even with his wasn't-it-just-severe injury.

Oh but wait - he wasn't there for the little old girl -- he was there for Leila. So Leila was "the girl that got away" - whatevs.

In other news, the VP isn't dead yet. Snore. Ooooo Fall Finale next week - goody!

20 November 2010

The Challenge: Cutthroat

For whatever reason, I always watch the opening credits even though I am insanely bothered by 2 things: 1) the Eurotrash techno soundtrack and 2) that look Tyler gives. UGGGGHHH!

The Challenge is a crazy-high tightrope challenge, and only one team is able to have everyone make it across.

Gulag: Dunbar v. Dan and Camila v. Laurel and Laurel's moustache. Laurel's bitter, of course, because she's a giant C. Her rants actually make me laugh. Does she know this is just a dumb game on MTV?

Camila has plans to win the Gulag and then come back and throw the next Challenge to screw her team.

Bye-bye: Dan (hey, you stayed sober on this show - you're the big winner) and Camila. So much for a good sabotage, it's the only thing I had to look forward to in this game.

18 November 2010


Other Universe Freak of the Week: Creepy old man shaves his creepy old head. Kid sees a monster in his closet. It's the creepy old man, in a silver mask, who steals the kid. Um, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight, what with my closet next to my bed and all.

The Fringe Division has jurisdiction over the kidnapping because of the Peter Bishop Act. The team has seen this happen before -- it's the Candyman. Not only that - the Candyman had kidnapped Broyles' son a while back. The kids are always returned, but they're basically drained of immune systems. Olivia's seen this before -- the dude is stealing the kids' youth in order to reverse-age.

Olivia interviews Broyles' sickly, blind kid. At first I thought the kid was a shite actor, but then he got all good and weepy and almost made me cry! Cute kid! She gets some more information from him and then her badass self tracks the Candyman down and kills him. She also figures out that there's a creepy Reverend behind the whole thing. The creepy Reverend breaks into Broyles' house to terrorize his kid again, but Broyles gets home just in time.

In the meantime, Olivia also slipped up by identifying herself as "FBI" to the kidnapped kid. Broyles hears this, and is all, "You know who you are, don't you?" But he lets it go because he owes Olivia a solid for saving his kid.

Since Faux-livia's mission is almost complete over in Our World, Walternate plans to have Olivia pulled from duty in the morning... because they don't need her anymore! No! Don't throw her away!

But meanwhile, Olivia gets our favorite taxi driver, Bubs, to help her break in to Walternate's lab so she can get back in the water tank and get home. Go, Olivia! Go home! This wily bitch actually drugs herself and pulls it off - she's back in Our Universe's souvenir shop. She says something to a woman who works there as she's pulled back. Walternate looks at her in disgust and tells his people to lock her up.

Now we're back in Our Universe and Pacey and Faux-livia are all cuddly in bed. Until Peter gets a phone call -- from the souvenir shop woman. She has a message for him: Olivia is trapped in the Other Universe.

I JUST SQUEALED MY ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's all coming out, man! Peter's got this!!!! That bitch is going down!!!!

Why do we have to have Thanksgiving and a week off?????

This Week's Code: ESCAPE.

16 November 2010

Green Lantern Trailer

En espanol... let's hope this kicks ass, OK? I'm a Ryan Reynolds fan anyway, but this looks killer. I'm excited!

Edited to add: Trailer on Apple now. All English, the way god intended.

15 November 2010

The Event

We're blaming Brazil for the airplane disaster? Really? Brazil? The government/media is also telling us that Daddy the Pilot died, even though he's currently being interrogated by President Underwood. Damn, the President does his own interrogating of suspects now? The Pilot tells him that the people who forced him to pilot the plane almost didn't go through with it, but got a go-ahead call at 8:01 PM - a few minutes after the President's alien briefing meeting ended. In flashback, we see that the VP gave Hal Halbrook the order to go ahead with the assassination attempt. Of course he did, those VPs are always wily jackasses.

It doesn't take the President long to figure out the VP was against him, but knows that someone else has to be pulling the strings. The VP is a runaway though (like, literally, he slipped his Secret Service detail), so the President won't get a chance to interrogate him next.

That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend are still on the run I guess. Sean gets shot, but it's not in the head - GODDAMMIT! - so he's OK. He talks His Dumb Girlfriend through starting a car with a screwdriver. I don't think I could do that even with a diagram. Sean can't go to the hospital since he's a wanted man. Fingers crossed he bleeds out!! So Dumb Girlfriend kidnaps a doctor at gunpoint. She's a smart one.

Hey, when did they end up in Atlanta? That Dumb Bitch takes the doctor in to a Walgreens to stock up on surgical supplies. I love how the pharmacist barely flinches when the doctor orders the stuff. Is it that common for doctors to buy their own supplies at Walgreens? By the time they come back out to the car, Sean is gone. I guess he saw the Atlanta PD and decided bleeding out on the street was a better option than just laying low in the car? That's where the doctor and Leila find him - bleeding out in an alley. Well, this is as good a place as any to perform surgery. And with Dumb Girlfriend as the Dumb Physician's Assistant! The doctor can't find the artery. Yeah, no shit - it's dark outside and you're in an alley with no lighting. Oy vey. The Miracle Doctor stitches him up and, after 3 stitches, pronounces that he'll be fine. Awesome.

The President has a crystal dish shaped like the Capitol filled with what looks like black and white jellybeans on his desk. I find myself fascinated by this.

Hal Holbrook orders the Assassin Chick to kill the VP. He had a whole conversation with the VP earlier, but I was more fascinated by the jellybeans, so I didn't pay attention to it. And even though he's a runaway, Assassin Chick finds him. But she doesn't kill him, instead she wants to work with the VP to turn in Hal Holbrook.

The VP, being the weak douche he is, calls President Underwood and says he's turning himself in, that he thought he was doing what was right for the country. He only says that "Eli" is involved - and then he's killed (presumably) by a car bomb, Hal Holbrook's backup plan.

At the very end, we see Hal Holbrook stand before a mirror, reverse-age, and then age again. WTF. Hey that reminds me - what about those freaky girls from last week?

14 November 2010


I thought I had seen every action movie setup known to man. There was even that one movie where the refrigerated truck had to stay cold, wasn't there? But here's a new one: a runaway train. I'd love to say Unstoppable was about more than a runaway train, but... it really wasn't.

Don't get me wrong, I actually loved this movie. Like, really enjoyed it for what it was. But that's not to say I wasn't laughing half the time. Sometimes it felt like a big joke Tony Scott and Denzel Washington were pulling on Hollywood. Like they didn't think anyone would actually fund it and then, when they did, they had to go through with it. But even if it were a joke, those 2 know how to make a movie. Throw in Chris Pine as the young whippersnapper and Rosario Dawson and Kevin Corrigan to make me happy and you've got the makings of a good movie.

A lot of the movie is told through news reports, and sometimes that gets annoying. It relies on the news for a lot of exposition. But then you realize that, really, that's the age we live in. News reporters would be on the scene quickly, news helicopters would be flying inches from the speeding train, and there would be computer animations of impending explosions.

Unstoppable has all of the action movie cliches, only this time with trains. This parody from Saturday Night Live is pretty dead-on. And you've gotta love it for the mindless fun.

13 November 2010

The Challenge: Cutthroat

I’m 2 episodes behind! Let’s go!

Dan’s starting to waver in his sobriety, and is thinking about drinking again. No, really? Can’t imagine how that would happen.... He calls his mommy to help him. Well, look at that – someone made a mature decision in the house! And even though I expect it not to hold, it does. For now anyway.

There’s a lot of gay oral sex talk going on, but tragically it’s just talk – a debate as to whether it’s gay or not. Yeah, Ty, it’s gay. So do it!

Blah blah swimming challenge is boring blah blah. Until Chet gets a concussion and goes white – and I mean WHITE – even for Chet. He looks like a zombie – it’s freaking awesome! And then of course the black dude can’t swim and Brandon has to be rescued in the water. Stop living up to stereotypes, man!

Ty does his usual thing where he overreacts and Emily does her usual thing where she eggs him on and then gets mad when he overreacts and a plant ends up in someone’s bed. Yawn. Someone slap somebody!

Gulag: Ty v. Brandon and Katie v. Camila.

Bye-bye: Katie and Ty. His team gets hella pissed when he just lays down but, um, it looked like he was literally exhausted. Just cuz he can’t turn as white as Chet did? Assholes. That’s 2 Blues down.

At the start of the next episode, Chet returns from the hospital, but is sent home because of his head injury. Bye-bye: Chet.

Since you’d assume Brandon loves to live up to stereotypes, the Red Team chooses him to do the part of the challenge that basically involves shooting a basketball. But Brandon shows those racists –– he doesn’t make any baskets. You go boy! The Gray Team wins just as they did last episode.

Gulag: Emily v. Melinda and Derrick v. Brandon. The Red Team sucks – just because their racist asses volunteered Brandon to shoot baskets, they blame him for their loss.

Brad gets his panties in a bunch because Camila voted for him, and of course Tori’s panties follow. So now they have it out for Camila. So what – Brad didn’t get sent to the Gulag anyway. That Red Team stinks.

Bye-bye: Melinda (duh) and Brandon (duh). Now the Red Team REALLY stinks.

12 November 2010


Freak of the Week: People still use shortwave radios? I guess so, because a bunch of people around the world are using them in some kind of shortwave radio chatroom. They all receive a transmission of numbers, have a seizure and, get amnesia.

Peter and Faux-livia are all cozied up with breakfast in bed as if they're in a lovely, long-term relationship, until duty calls. I'm not too gung-ho about Peter and Olivia hooking up, but I'm OK with it this way since it's not really Olivia. Just makes for more angst once that's revealed!

Walter's pissed at Peter because he's still working on the Otherworldly Peter Death Machine. Nina has a heart-to-heart with Walter over some weed, telling him he should let Peter continue his investigation.

The shortwave radios pick up number broadcasts, some kind of codes transmitted by who knows who. But along with the numbers, some dude is transmitting a pulse that gave them amnesia. He does it again later with a transmission to the pilot of a small plane.

The investigation leads to the First People - people before the dinosaurs. The numbers are the keys to the universe, and the dude wants to keep people from discovering what they mean.

Faux-livia goes to see the dude, who is from the Other Universe, working for Walternate, to scold him for being sloppy. Just as he's about to be discovered, Faux-livia pushes him out of a window and he splatters onto the ground at Broyles's and Peter's feet, leaking mercury. He was a shapeshifter.

Astrid, kind of channeling Other Astrid, cracks the code. The numbers represent several locations around the world. The closest one is in New Jersey, and buried deep beneath the ground (wow, they really took a chance that Astrid was right - they dug a bigass hole) is a large stone thing containing part of a machine. One of the locations is also Walter's old house in Massachusetts. The locations are all pieces of Walternate's Death Device.

At the end, Faux-livia receives instructions through the Otherworldly Typewriter. Initiate Phase Two.

Walter's Line of the Week: "I feel a bowel movement coming on." Goddammit, Walter, that was just unnecessary!

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: Cucumber and cheese sandwich - the best food for thought, as developed by Walter. It worked on Astrid!

This Week's Code: DECAY.

10 November 2010

The Event

Alien Asian Hottie is injured but not dead, and Sterling goes to visit him, intent on finding out who the mole is. He's still unconscious, but The Dude in the Trunk is discovered and tells everyone that Simon is the bad guy. Sterling decides to investigate a bit, and notices that Simon hasn't aged since he was hired. He's not just a mole - he's an alien! Time for a DNA test, and time for Thomas to go in and switch out the blood samples. At the same time, another alien mole plants incriminating evidence at the coffeeshop with The Dude in the Trunk's fingerprints. It's all so convenient how everyone knows what everyone else is doing and how to stop it.

Simon regains consciousness, and Sterling tells him that he passed his DNA test, and that Murphy is the mole. Shouldn't they now DNA test that dude to confirm? No? Well, I guess if they did someone would just swoop in and change the samples anyway.

In the Land of People I Cannot Stomach, the reporter tells That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend all of her alien conspiracy theories, and digs through Dumb Girlfriend's dad's stuff. She finds a list of names and numbers - which of course they determine are codes, codes that That Annoying Prick Sean can crack.

You know what I'd love? If he worked really hard to figure out what the code was but then it turned out that it wasn't anything. Just a list. Alas, The Reporter takes them to one of those high-tech conspiracy dudes who has some kind of great encrypted system that will help Sean. The names are girls who have gone missing and the numbers refer to shell corporations. Mmm-kay.

Wait - Hal Holbrook is alive? He must be -- because he's on this show -- but I'd swear he died a year ago. He's the dude behind DB Sweeney and the whole Let's Kidnap Leila and/or Sean Movement. One of his teams hunts Sean and Leila down just after they crack the code, but those two wily idiots escape, albeit separated from The Conspiracy Nuts.

Dumb Girlfriend's sister is still alive, being held with other little girls -- but they're not just little girls! They're like deformed freaky people! OK, that actually scared me.

Over on the alien side of things, we learn that Sophia is Thomas's mother. They need some nuclear material in order to transport themselves back home.

Pointless Flashback of the Week: 14 years ago, Sterling was in love with a chick who turned out to be a Russian spy. When he got the heads-up from his daddy (who was also in the CIA), he confronted her and wanted to run away with her. But of course she wasn't having any of it. She didn't love you for your looks, you jackass. As she tried to run away, his daddy shot and killed her, letting Sterling take the credit for catching her.

04 November 2010


Well, that break wasn't so bad. My show is back! And it's Other Universe time!

A guy cuts his way through one of those amber resin quarantine areas, freeing his twin brother and resuscitating him. Meanwhile, that area had been quarantined for 4 years. People stay alive in that amber? That's freaky! Secretary Walternate doesn't want word getting out that people trapped in amber are basically alive, so Fringe Division has to find the twins.

There's a bunch of twins-swapping and Olivias-swapping parallel stuff going on in this episode. And Olivia keeps having Visions of Peter telling her she's from another universe, which she tries to chase away by self-medicating with something.

Because she isn't going through enough already, Walternate puts Olivia through a series of tests to see if she's capable of crossing over between universes. Time to get back in the water tank with the crazy drugs! Over here, there's a nicer tank though, not that cobbled-together thing in the Harvard basement.

While she's in the tank the first time, Olivia totally crosses over for a moment and ends up in a souvenir shop. After being harassed by her Vision of Peter, she goes back in the tank, and ends up in the same shop. The shop is in Our Universe because there's a 9/11 reference and no Twin Towers. Olivia picks up the phone and dials the number to her niece. Then she gets sucked back over... and lies to Walternate, saying she saw nothing.

Line of the Night: The Fringe Team are talking about moms making popsicles as kids and Charlie's all, "My mom made me get her cigarettes." I love you, Charlie! And I really like this Fringe Team!!!

This Week's Code: EVENT. No - bad cross-promotion - don't remind me of that crappy show!!

03 November 2010

Congress Just Got Real

I knew he was involved in state politics, but now he's coming for DC. Dude - how about his season being 13 years ago? I remember it like it was yesterday. Meanwhile, I need updated pictures of his 6 kids with Rachel.

The glass ceiling for reality stars in Congress has been shattered, thanks to Real World: Boston standout Sean Duffy, a Republican who picked up an open seat in Wisconsin's 7th District during Tuesday's big election.

Duffy, who spent 1997 finding out "what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real," easily defeated state Sen. Julie Lassa for the job in a contest to replace retiring Rep. David Obey, a Democrat who held the seat for 41 years.

The Associated Press declared Duffy the winner, and he thanked supporters at his victory party shortly before midnight. "What a great night in Wisconsin," Duffy belted.

Duffy filled the "conservative Midwesterner" spot on season 6 of the show and later participated in Road Rules. During his stint as a reality TV star, he met and married Real World: San Francisco beauty Rachel Campos. The couple have six children.

Since leaving Boston, Duffy appeared on 2002's version of Real World/Road Rules Challenge and has made occasional appearances as an ESPN color commentator. Until recently he was the district attorney for Ashland County.

The 7th District includes all or part of 20 central and northwestern Wisconsin counties.