24 February 2010


My digital cable kept pixelating last night. Pixelation does not lead to conducive Lost viewing. Lots can happen in the 5 seconds the sounds drop out or the video jumps. So I gave up early and watched it on Hulu tonight. And I was pretty disappointed. Not that I expect a lot from a Jack episode.

Non-Island Jack notices his appendix scar, for the first time apparently. I know this scar has appeared and disappeared at different times, so that's semi-significant. He also has a kid -- a sullen, douchey kid. Yep, must be his. His kid auditions for a music conservatory. The Japanese Temple Guy has a kid auditioning too. The end. DULL!

Things aren't much more exciting on the Island. Jacob appears to Hurley in the Temple and gives him directions for him and Jack to follow. They end up at a lighthouse, the latest in a series of new buildings on the Island. Jack sees a reflection of his childhood home in the mirror and promptly acts like his usual dick self, pitching a fit and destroying the mirrors.

Jacob tells Hurley that all he really needed was to get them away from the Temple because someone's about to go on a rampage there. Also, he needed to put Jack on a path of staring at the ocean to determine his destiny. Why can't you put Jack on a path to jumping into the ocean, Jacob?

Meanwhile, Dirty Claire has been on her own for 3 years. She lives in a handmade nuthouse, complete with a "baby" made of an animal skull and god knows what else. She's been looking for her baby this whole time and is convinced the Temple Others have him. Jin tells her Kate has been raising him, but after she gets all stabby against an Other with an axe, he tells her that Aaron is at the Temple and he will take her to him. She's all, "Good, because if Kate had really raised Aaron, I'd kill her."

Oh Em Gee!

Look at Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's adorable little boy haircut!!!

22 February 2010


This episode in a nutshell: Sergei has 2 fewer sons than he started the day with, and Starbuck spent 45 minutes of her very important work day outside the Rape Van, putting a silencer on her gun. Also, the soundtrack was kickass tonight.

It's midnight. Do you know where Jack Bauer is? He's with Sergei, and they're on the phone with David Anders offering him immunity. Um, that's a pretty sweet deal. Give up the rods and take it, man!

He never gets the chance because President Hassan's Brother With The Fabulous Hair has him shot. All the good bad-guys are dying, dammit! Mr. Silken Locks's pals tell him they want to use the rods against the Americans, since they can't get them out of the country. And if there's one thing I know, you can't let good nuclear rods go to waste!

But first they need a detonator. Great - time to involve yet another bad guy who will somehow ruin the plan! Instead, Silken Locks has a conscience, and calls CTU about the planned attack.

The President's Chief of Staff needs a scapegoat for CTU's screw-ups, and decides that Renee is it. He wants her stabbing of Vlad investigated. At midnight. Wow - the Justice Department wouldn't just wait til morning? Your tax dollars hard at work, people. The Justice Bitch thinks Renee was all about the revenge and not the self-defense. Bitch.

When Jack arrives at CTU, he knows they're setting Renee up to take the fall and he storms in and slams the Justice Bitch against a wall! OH SNAP! Jack thinks he owns this damn place and can walk in and tell people what to do. He's probably not wrong. He's all, "I'm gonna call the President." OH SNAP!

CTU's screw-ups are, as usual, caused by the screwed-up people who work there. Starbuck is stalking Rape Van Kevin & Pal with a gun, and Freddie Prinze commandeers a CTU vehicle to find her. Starbuck tells Freddie everything. No! Don't involve him in this murderous nonsense! He decides to just threaten them to get the hell out of the state and never come back. Or else!

As we know, Rape Van Kevin is the level-headed of this dynamic duo and decides to give in and go home, but his buddy stabs him and walks after Freddie. He shoots first - and hits the CTU vehicle, it's worth noting - but Freddie shoots last. R.I.P. Rape Van Kevin & Pal. Great, now Starbuck and Freddie are going to be covering up murders for the next 12 hours.

Since Freddie's out not-working, CTU is going to send that Red Shirt from last week to lead the mission to get Silken Locks. Jack has some snide remarks about Director Bubba's decision-making and says he'll lead the team -- if they drop the case against Renee. Bubba says he can do it -- if Jack's all-in, no more of this part-time bull. Jack puts the Jack Sack over his other shoulder -- and now it's on.

21 February 2010

Project Runway

Challenge: Design for kids. That's a first I think. At least they don't have to whore it up with a pageant look or something. That would be douchechill-inducing.

They get a second challenge once their looks are just about done: make a companion design for your regular models.

I liked a lot of them actually. Really liked Anthony and Jesse and Jay. I loved Emilio's adult look. It may have been monotone, but it was a really pretty dress.

Amy's was totally crazy (those pants!) but I thought it was cool and a good risk. The judges didn't.

Hey Mila, enough with the color-blocking. I hate that and it seems so like 5 years ago. Or 1980s.

Winner: Seth Aaron. Yes, I'll concede that his was great, even if it means my man Jay came in second.

Bye-bye: Janeane. Totally agree with sending her boring, blah ass home instead of Amy's imaginative one.

20 February 2010

The Real World: DC

I missed an episode because I couldn't bring myself to force my eyes open to watch it. And now it's not available on MTV's site for some reason. What did I miss? I remember Erika was supposed to throw some big fit, threatening to leave. Well, she's still here, so that's pointless. I may have missed some hot gay makeouts - always disappointing.

Mike's come to terms with his love for Tanner and I guess he's fully-gay now. Tanner's going to visit! Finally! But not yet. First Mike's family visits. Mike takes his mom to the Tabard Inn to come out. Love the Tabard Inn. I hear rumors they have great donuts.

Mike has the greatest mom ever. She apologizes for asking him to keep it a secret, and she's just great. "I still want grandchildren so you better change some freaking laws." LOVE HER!

The rest of the episode is spent trying to form bands. Have we never heard Josh sing before? Because he suuuuucks. I would have remembered that I think. He doesn't play anything either? What the hell does he bring to the table? He also chooses the best/worst band name ever - Wicked Liquid. Even he can't say it correctly twice. Oy. Sounds like a brand name of lube.

Erika just seems to live to annoy me, moping about not having a band. She's also one of those psycho girlfriends who calls her boyfriend 14 times in a row, even though he clearly has his cell phone turned off. Weirdo.

Hot tip: Watch the Aftershow online. They still can't sing. Josh is really horrific and doesn't have that sexy presence he thinks he does.

17 February 2010


I thought this episode had both a lot going on and nothing at all. It's probably going to be one of those episodes that makes more sense later on, but for now it felt bloated with a lot of "gotcha!" moments.

To whit (for Non-Island Locke):

-- He gets fired from his job, but then he runs into Hurley -- because he owns Locke's company!!

-- Hurley passes on the phone number of the temp agency he owns -- and Rose happens to work there!!

-- Locke works as a substitute teacher -- where Ben is a history teacher!!

I mean, this whole people-from-the-Island-are-still-linked thing is already getting old. I get it. They're linked.

Meanwhile, on the Island, Smokey!Locke is "recruiting" - he has Richard strung up in a tree and seeks out a dirty, drunken, grieving Sawyer.

Then we have our standard unexplained Island-y moments:

-- Locke sees a kid standing in the jungle with blood on his hands. Later, when he's with Sawyer, they both see the kid and Locke chases after him. The kid says to Locke: "You know the rules. You can't kill him." Locke's all, "Don't tell me what I can't do" and the kid stomps off. Mmm-kay.

-- Sawyer knows that Locke isn't Locke, but is curious as to how this will play out. Locke takes him to a cave where there are scales balanced with a black rock on one side and a white rock on the other. Locke picks up the white rock (which symbolizes Jacob) and throws it into the ocean. Mmm-kay.

-- The last names of our Oceanic passengers are written on the ceiling of the cave. And some have numbers next to them. And some are crossed out. Locke says Jacob wrote the names, and that he pushed everyone onto the Island because they were "candidates" - to be the new Jacob and protect the Island. But Locke says it doesn't need protecting and they should just leave the Island. "You ready, James?" Sawyer: "Hell yes." Mmm-kay.

In Real-Locke news, Ben, Sun, Frank, and That Other Chick bury the real Locke's body just off the beach. Ben gives the eulogy, including, "I'm very sorry I murdered him." El. Oh. El.

16 February 2010


Just as production on 24 is being delayed due to Kiefer Sutherland's surgery (proving once and for all that Kiefer Sutherland is NOT Jack Bauer), my viewing of the show was delayed due to me coming down with consumption.

Starbuck's Rape Van boyfriend is at a strip club celebrating his score. At this point, I'd say Starbuck should stop freaking calling him. What the hell? No shocker here - Kevin thinks this is the start of a beautiful partnership - you give me codes, I rob places.

Starbuck starts to tell Freddie Prinze, Jr. about her past, but of course they're interrupted, so she decides instead to leave work - AGAIN. She goes to the strip club and starts stalking the 2 idiots - with a gun. Great. Now she's going to kill people. Nerdy Arlo takes the opportunity to show Freddie surveillance images of Starbuck and Kevin meeting up. Because Arlo has had nothing better to do than take screencaps of surveillance footage. Creep.

The Russians took Jack underground and so CTU is on The Hunt For Jack. He's being questioned by Sergei and trying to make a deal for the nuclear rods. Much like Jack, Sergei doesn't make deals - he tortures. They string Jack up and pump high voltage through his stab wound. Jesus! After some horrific torture, Jack gets the better of the dude - using his feet to drive the electricity into his torturer instead. PWNED. Jack Bauer certainly is a strong, wily bastard - climbing up onto pipes like a damn spider monkey and breaking free just as the guy wakes up. He then uses his thighs - his legs are getting a lot of action tonight - to break the dude's neck. PWNED!!

Jack stabs his way to a working cell phone, calls Chloe, and captures Sergei. Sergei's all regretful about killing his son, and says he'll give the location of the rods in exchange for full immunity for him and the son he didn't kill. Everyone defers to Jack's judgment (of course) and so the President speaks to Sergei and the deal is made.

By the time Freddie and Team get to the rods, they're gone. Of course. The truck is empty and 2 Russians are shot through the head. David Anders is the one who stole them (Sergei's living son), and he's working with the Brother With The Fabulous Hair.

Tonight's episode of 24 is brought to you by Tommy Bahama Rum. Having the bad guys' lair in a restaurant sure does have its product placement advantages. (Yes, Bobby Z, I always notice these things.)

A quick note to all you 24 watchers: You should be watching Human Target. It's a lot like this show - but it doesn't take itself seriously. I mean, some of Jack's moves tonight were quite spry for a 50 year old man who has been stabbed in the gut and shot in the shoulder, yes?

14 February 2010

Project Runway

Challenge: Design an outfit for Heidi to wear on the cover of Marie Claire magazine. So the outfit has to meet some criteria - like minimal patterns, eye-catching up top, colorful.

Anna's vest and shorts were gross. The shorts totally made it look like the model had a dick. And it's just blah.

Mila's was really washed-out and the seams were crappy. If they like this one, I'll shoot myself.

Anthony finally did something great! Yay! What a relief. I really liked the color and the design. I liked Maya's too - the neckline was cute. Ben's was colorful and hot too.

Winner: Anthony! Thank you for finally justifying my love for you, man. Well done.

Bye-bye: Anna. Well, duh. And luckily, they hated Mila's too. I don't have to shoot myself.

09 February 2010


Island. Sayid comes back to life. 10 bucks says he's really Jacob. And you gotta love Hurley asking Sayid if he's a zombie.

Japanese Dude tells Jack he has to get Sayid to take a pill to ward off the "infection." When he won't say what's in the pill, Jack tries to take it, but Japanese Dude stops him - because the pill contains poison.

Japanese Dude says that Sayid has been "claimed" - that something dark has possession of his body and is trying to take over him. He also says this same thing happened to Claire.

Sawyer's had enough and leaves the Temple. The Temple Others say he has to come back, and Kate and Jin set off after him. They're separated and Jin is rescued... by Claire. Claire with nappy hair.

Can I just say how pissed I am that Juliet is gone? Because Sawyer loved her so damn much and they were great together and they lived together for however many years in that damned Dharma Initiative. He was going to ask her to marry him. And now he's all sad and depressed. Boo.

And now it's time for some flash-sideways.

Non-Island. Kate is fleeing the airport in a taxi. She lets pregnant Claire out and takes off. When she goes through Claire's bags and realizes she's pregnant, Kate drives back to get her. Claire's on the way to meet with the couple who's going to adopt her baby, and Kate drives her there.

When they arrive, they find out that the couple has split and is no longer interested in the baby. Does Claire have a Return Policy? She starts going into labor, and Kate (Claire's Personal Taxi Service, apparently) takes her to the hospital. That evil Ethan dude is the doctor.

They hold off the labor for a bit, and Claire gives Kate her credit card, because she's nice and naïve/dumb like that. Claire should've saved it to buy shampoo for the island. She could probably use some toothpaste too.


Jack and his German Glasses pay a visit to Vlad. Can I say right now how much I love watching Kiefer Sutherland and Callum Keith Rennie face off? IT'S AMAZING!! They drink vodka out of big-ass shot glasses and I want them to be together all day long. I just want Jack to lose those glasses first.

This episode of 24 is brought to you by Jägermeister, featured in the Bad Russian Guy Sergei's closet. Vlad calls Sergei and is all, Hey I hear you have materials, I have a buyer for said materials. Sergei's all, I don't have nuclear rods, you're retarded.

Unfortunately for me (and I did NOT see this coming), Renee stabs Vlad to death (quite awesomely, crazily violently) after he punches her square in the face. DAMMIT! No more Callum Keith Rennie for me. *pout* It was pretty cool though because Renee really just spazzed out, stabbing him through the eye and then repeatedly in the chest. Holy lord. She also accidentally stabs Jack. Oops.

Sergei's people show up - and Jack lets them take him so he can do business with them. They take him through the sewers, natch, so now CTU can't track him.

To steal a line from one of my Facebook friends, Jack Bauer says "nucular". No one corrects him, because he's Jack Bauer.

Someone finally references that the UN is up past their damn bedtime. It's 10 PM, I think peace should wait til morning.

Starbuck and Her Unending Subplot of Suck continues. She helps guide Rape Van Kevin into the evidence building. Rape Van Kevin, unsurprisingly, is retarded and it takes him a while to find the evidence. For god sakes, man, move it along! This is taking up precious time!! His buddy is even dumber, sticking around to shop in the evidence room when he should be getting the hell out of there. Keep getting your fingerprints all over everything, dumbass! Aaaand of course a cop comes into the building. Aaaand of course Rape Van Kevin's buddy beats the crap out of the cop before they run off. That's smart.

24: At the Movies

I'm going to watch last night's episode tonight, I swear. But check this news out:

Twentieth Century Fox's film and TV studios are conspiring to finally bring hit television series 24 to the bigscreen.

The film side has hired scribe Billy Ray ("State of Play," "Flightplan") to pen the script for the feature version.

Ray's pitch, which takes Jack Bauer to Europe, was a hit with Fox execs and producers of the high-concept television series.

Ray also wrote and directed "Breach" and "Shattered Glass."

Script is said to have come through 24 star Kiefer Sutherland, who's also an exec producer on the series -- and is said to be eager to turn the long-running TV skein into a feature franchise.

Insiders cautioned that a 24 feature is still very much in the preliminary stages. There are a number of factors influencing how quickly it moves ahead, including the fate of the TV show.

Fox doesn't have a deal for a ninth season of 24 and hasn't yet decided whether to order another season. Insiders said the network is waiting to see this week's ratings before making a decision, but the betting is that this season will be the final one.

The series' producers have been kicking around the possibility of a feature adaptation for several years and came close to moving ahead on one several years ago.

But the prospect of shooting a film while the show was still on the air was daunting for the cast and producers. Critics and fans of 24 have always enthused about how the show is produced like a feature -- and the film studio would want to move most of the 24 series crew to work on the film. That's difficult to do while 24 is in production, and hiatuses aren't nearly long enough to shoot a movie.


08 February 2010


Yep, I'm watching Heroes live. Might as well just rip off the damn Band-Aid and get this over with.

So Matt finished bricking the wall? Like, with Peter just passed out on the ground? Cool. Sylar and Peter get out of their Brain World and Sylar somehow busts out of the brick wall.

T Bag had sent Multiplying Man after Sylar and Peter, because somehow he knew they'd be trying to make trouble for him. Because, you see, T Bag has big plans. Can't wait to finally find out what they are!!

The Carnival has set up residence in Central Park. T Bag asks Deaf Girl to play the cello to attract people to the Carnival. She doesn't want to do it, because Peter had the dream about that, so the Puppet Master forces her to. I still don't know exactly what T Bag plans to do with these people. And neither does Deaf Girl, so what's she so afraid of?

Multiplying Man is easily defeated, and when Sylar & Peter (the new Batman & Robin?) find out the Carnival is in NYC, they're on their way to save the day!

Claire and Bennet are trapped in a trailer underground. He's running out of oxygen, so they decide to give into their feelings and make love. Or not. But almost, I swear! There was crying and groping and desperation. It was hot. They're interrupted when Tracy arrives, flowing into the trailer with her watery self. And then she digs a tunnel - with her water power, I guess - and they're out.

Claire and Bennet arrive in Central Park, as do The Dynamic (Hot) Duo, Sylar & Peter. I'm assuming they couldn't afford to pay Ali Larter for 2 days' work, because Tracy's never seen again.

Claire tries to convince The Carnies that T Bag is evil and wants to kill everyone. What is killing everyone even going to accomplish? Is it just mindless fun? Claire gets up on her soapbox (like, literally) and goes on quite the tear, screaming at everyone that T Bag gets his power from them, and that T Bag killed his brother.

Hiro is reunited with Charlie - but she's 65 years older. He decides an 85-year-old girlfriend is too much for him to handle, and buggers off to Central Park (Bennet had called Ando, apparently).

Sylar distracts the Puppet Master and Deaf Girl uses her weird Rainbow Brite powers to break free.

T Bag starts in with the whole earthquake thing. And it's like the lamest fake quake ever. Until Peter flies in and tackles him. He steals his power and they begin this kind of tug-of-war with the ground beneath their feet, bitching at each other as the earth shakes.

Hiro arrives and Claire asks him to teleport The Carnies out of there. Without The Carnies, T Bag loses his power. Well, good thing Hiro A) got control of his power and B) didn't want to bang that 85-year-old bitch.

And that's where Volume 5 ends. With T Bag ranting.

Volume Six. Well, now, that's being optimistic, isn't it? T Bag is carted off by the cops, The Carnies are safe wherever Hiro took them, and Sylar's good. And Claire pulls the bonehead move of letting news cameras follow her as she jumps from the top of the ferris wheel.

Well, OK, so now we're getting somewhere. I'd actually like to watch a show where people knew that these mutants existed. Too bad I might not have the chance, and they didn't pull this 2 years ago. Too bad it took them until the last 45 seconds of this episode.

07 February 2010

The Real World: DC

I didn't realize Snookie was on MTV before Jersey Shore - because that's clearly the orange fat chick who was macking on Andrew, right? I love that she left with leftover pizza. She was classy.

Callie makes a resume for the first time. That's the drama we get here? Boo. Well, that and Andrew and Ashley throwing pizza at each other. Ashley is overly-sensitive, but Andrew is 4 years old and a dick.

But who cares about all of that? MIKE PICKS UP A GUY!

Though I am proud of my girl Callie for getting a photography internship. And not just because it's for a gay newspaper and it means more gay clubs.

Next week: Erika might go home. Who can blame her? These people are boring.

06 February 2010


A little something to commemorate Snowpocalypse 2010. I miss the weathermen up North.

Project Runway

Challenge: Design a look for an American Heart Association gala - it has to be red and incorporate the Campbell's soup brand somehow. I want a soup can dress! They have to work with "real women" as models too - and that never works out well, but there are no obvious fatties.

Nothing too noteworthy happens. Everyone bitches about only having a day to work, and Seth Aaron totally changes his dress at the last minute, even though it looked good the first time.

God I hate non-professional-model runways. It's so awkward to see someone try to walk cool and sexy and FAIL.

The Good: I liked Janeane's, Jonathan's, and Ben's. Maya's model walks like a dude, but it's a nice dress. Amy's is also quite lovely.

The Bad: Anthony's is pretty horrible and cheap looking. Dammit, Anthony, I'm supposed to love you. Jesus made a tight little dress suitable for an Old French Whore. Nice.

The Ugly: Mila's dress is a horror show!! I still don't know how she got through with that Shamu thing last week (and won!) and this time around she makes a dress with a huge star on it. It really does look like a horrible Fourth of July thing. She has immunity, unfortunately for me.

OH MY GOD I NEED A TASTE ADJUSTMENT! They loved Mila's. Once again. I don't get it. At. All. I might have to give up on this show if I'm so damn off.

Winner: Amy. Yay!

Bye-bye: Jesus a/k/a Old French Whore. No really, look at that bitch, she's perfect for the dress.

05 February 2010

Heroes: Just When You Thought Things Couldn't Get Any More Pointless

It's Friday night and I'm seriously just now watching Heroes. What can I say, I prefer catching up on Mad Men.

We pick up where we left off (I think), with Peter stuck inside his brain, or Sylar's brain, or something, wandering around the streets alone. Sylar's still bricked-up in Parkman's basement, and trapped inside his brain as well. Or something. Look - it's just an excuse for Sylar to walk around in a black coat and black jeans and black boots and all is right with the world. Slick.

Peter and Sylar meet up in the Lonesome Brain Street and start chasing each other around the city. If they're the only ones there, they should really just start doing it. Peter wants to help Sylar find a way out so he can save Deaf Girl and Her Deadly Cello. I still don't understand where they're trapped exactly - their own minds I guess, but together somehow - so how the hell can they get out?

T Bag has Bennet tied up in the House of Mirrors, where that dreadlocked guy can project his memories onto the mirrors. He brings Claire in so that she can watch the show. OK so it's the 80s and he's selling cars, married to a black chick. Huh whut!? OK. Claire doesn't care either. But we're all subjected to more memories, as we see that Bennet's pregnant wife was killed by a Special who busted into their house to rob them. Mmm kay.

Back to the Land of the Painful Backdrop. Worst. Painting of Buildings. Ever. Our two boys are hanging out on rooftops. I'm sorry, but I've seen more realistic backdrops at Disney Hollywood Studios. They should have filmed there on the "San Francisco" street - more realistic.

We go back to Pointless Black & White Memories far too many times for my taste. Though we do get to see Eric Roberts again, which is awesome. What's not so awesome is that we find out it was Eric Roberts who essentially ordered Bennet to marry Sandra, a waitress where they were eating. Like really - that's how pointless this got. I really don't care about how they met, but you certainly never got the impression it was an arranged marriage. Why bother telling us this now? Ugh.

As if it's a metaphor for me banging my head against the wall that is this show (does that work?), Peter is constantly banging a sledgehammer against a brick wall in their Brain World, trying to break out. Oh good lord just get out already. They say they've been trapped there together for years. Yep, it feels like it's been years for me too, not 44 minutes. Christ. Eventually, they break out. Somehow. I don't know. What was I supposed to do? Pay attention?

Back at the Carnival, T Bag talks about taking the Carnival to Central Park. Then he sinks the trailer Bennet and Claire are in into the ground.

The good news? There's only one of these bastards left. And I might watch it Monday instead of 24 just to get it goddamn over with.

04 February 2010


As soon as they started with the previouslys I screamed out loud. I forgot - totally awesome universe collision time!!! Yay!!

Freak of the Week: Prez from The Wire is hit by an earthquake - while in Manhattan. But it's not really an earthquake - it's the afore-mentioned worlds colliding thing, and it leaves him with 4 legs and 4 arms, with a support beam stuck through his shoulder. OH HELL YES!

Everyone else in the building is dead - and fused together, fused with inanimate objects, etc. Prez freaking out about having extra appendages is the Greatest Thing I've Ever Seen In My Life. He also thinks the Pentagon and White House were destroyed on 9/11 - so he's from The Other Universe!! Prez dies and then they open his shirt to reveal another head fused to his stomach. That Prez opens his eyes - I SCREAMED WITH DELIGHT!!!!!! - and then dies too. I totally screamed and laughed like a child and freaked the hell out. This. Is. Awesome.

Olivia knows it's Newton trying to bring the universes together. In order to keep the balance of the universes, Walter says that a building from our universe will disappear into The Other One within 35 hours.

When Walter was experimenting on a young Olivia, she was able to identify other-worldly occurrences with some kind of glimmer. So The Team heads to Jacksonville to visit the old experimentation lab - conveniently (and creepily) preserved and locked up - so Walter can bring this ability back in Olivia. It's creepy because all the stuff's still there, and it looks like a preschool, but you know it was an effed-up, demonic preschool.

They go into a classroom that has 16 objects from The Other Universe, but Olivia can't identify them. Time to hook Olivia up to some electrodes and give her some drugs!!! Ah, it's like the good old days of drug trips and lens flares.

Her drug trip involves a creepy version of herself as a kid, but afterward she still can't identify which things belong to The Other Universe. The clue to when the Universe Collision will happen again comes when Nina Sharpe hears dog barking - one of the signals of impending Other-Universe Seismic Activity - and then tremors start increasing.

This episode didn't just bring the freakiness - there was great drama between Olivia and Walter, as she accused him of child abuse and couldn't believe he experimented on kids like that. Good stuff. Also - the reason the experiment didn't work on Adult Olivia is that she's not afraid of anything now - she needed the fear she had as a child to bring out the ability.

The Team works to determine which buildings have the same mass as the Other Building - there are 140-odd buildings that match. When they think they're out of time, Olivia suddenly gets scared. She misses her kiss with Peter (good, those two don't need to hook up) when she suddenly realizes that she is scared -- and runs to a window. Sure enough, she sees a building vibrating with the Otherworldly Glimmer.

BROYLES. IS. THE. MAN. End of story. He orders an evacuation of said building - a hotel. The building disappears - and the news reports it as an unscheduled demolition.

At the end, Olivia and Peter are set to go out for drinks (Walter is quite excited by this "date"). The anticipation was killing me as Peter opened the door -- and Olivia saw him with the Otherworldly Glimmer. When Peter walks away, Walter comes over and whispers, "Please don't tell him."



Walter's Food Craving Of The Week: Pretzels. As in, "Quickly, Peter, open that case. Pretzels." He also eats applesauce. Boring food, but I still love you, Walter!

This Week's Code: REVEAL. And what a reveal it was.

02 February 2010

Lost Returns: Hour Two

Island. Sawyer gets to work burying Juliet with Miles, while everyone else takes Sayid to the Temple.

LAX. Jack is told that there's been a mix-up with his father's coffin - it was never put on the plane. In fact, they don't know where it is.

Temple. Our people are captured by The Others Part Deux - some vaguely cult-looking types hanging out in the Temple.

LAX. Kate asks the U.S. Marshal to let her use the bathroom. While in there, she tries to break out of her handcuffs and isn't successful, but is still able to knock out the Marshal. Damn, but Kate is a badass chick. She escapes into an elevator with Sawyer.

Juliet's Grave. Sawyer asks Miles to talk to Juliet (oh yeah, Miles is awesome and he can speak to ghosts) and find out what she wanted to tell him. The answer? "It worked." Too bad that's not helpful. Thanks a lot, Ghost of Juliet.

Temple. Cindy the Stewardess is among the cult. When Hurley says that Jacob sent them, the leader (who speaks what I can only assume is un-subtitled Japanese) is intrigued. Hurley offers him the guitar case Jacob had given him - and inside is a big symbol - the symbol that was held by the four-toed statue. Japanese Cult Leader cracks it open to find a piece of paper inside. He says the paper says "If [Sayid] dies we're all in a lot of trouble."

LAX. Customs holds Jin when they find a Rolex and large amounts of cash in his possession which he didn't declare.

Crazy Cult Ceremony. There's some blood involved, and a large pool of water, and an hourglass. The cult forcibly drowns Sayid until he is dead. I kept expecting him to come back to life - and Jack even tried to resuscitate him - but no dice. R.I.P. Sayid? Say it ain't so!

LAX. Kate's running around the airport with her handcuffs covered. She makes it outside, behind Hurley in the taxi line. Just as the Marshal sees her, she runs into a cab - and sits next to Claire.

Temple. Sawyer and Miles have been nabbed by the Cult, and join everyone else at Sayid's side. The Cult Leader, meanwhile, talks to Hurley about Jacob, and learns he is dead. When he hears about this, everyone starts freaking out. They set off fireworks (as a warning, I presume) and start fortifying the Temple to "keep him out."

"Him" being Smokey being "Locke", who tells Ben that he wants to "go home."

LAX. Jack's trying to sort out his lost coffin, while Locke is there sorting out a lost bag full o' knives. Locke offers Jack some comfort, and Jack tells him he's a spinal surgeon and gives him his card.

Beach. Smokey!Locke comes out and punches Richard in the face, carrying him down the beach past Dead!Locke's body.

Temple. Sayid sits up.

OH SNAP! This stuff is definitely giving me a headache, and yet I love every damn second.

Lost Returns: Hour One

I can't believe I'm staying up until 11 PM, but it's only because this show's been off the air so damn long, and I don't want to be spoiled. Better be good!

I watched the recap hour first because goddamn but I can't remember what happened yesterday let alone nearly a year ago on a confusing-ass show about time travel. I was so glad I watched it because it reminded me how good it was last year too.

Last we left the Island, a big bomb went off, with the goal of resetting time and getting everyone out of 1970-something. We open with everyone back on Oceanic Flight 815. But instead of crashing, they get some pretty standard turbulence. And also Desmond is on the plane, not down on the Island pressing the button. Jack seems aware that something's different - like he's getting déjà vu. And then we get our first view of the Island - totally under water, on the oceanic floor. Oh. Snap.

Next, Kate wakes up in a tree, looking the same as she did before, ears ringing from the bomb. Miles is with her. They're on the Island. And then OMFG Jack is there too!!!! OK, so now there are going to be 2 simultaneous and overlapping timelines!? I'm gonna have a stroke. Sawyer's there too, and pissed because Juliet's dead and the bomb didn't work.

Back to the Plane. Where everyone is - Sawyer, that science teacher dude, Kate in handcuffs, Hurley... again with the duplication because...

Back on the Island. Hurley is with a bleeding-out Sayid when Jacob shows up. Meanwhile, Jin meets up with Sawyer et al and they hear Juliet calling from the bottom of the pit she fell into.

Plane. We're back to old-fashioned dickhead Jin. And then Boone! BOONE!

Island. Locke is wiping Jacob's blood off of his knife. Ben walks to the beach and is shown Locke's body.

Other Side of the Island. Jacob tells Hurley that he died an hour ago. Hurley is very unfazed by this, all, "Sorry, dude." I suppose he's seen it all at this point. Jacob tells him to take Sayid to the Temple so he can be saved.

Plane. Charlie isn't breathing, and Jack and Sayid save him. He's choked on a balloon of heroin, the idiot.

Island. Everyone clears the rubble from the pit, and Sawyer makes his way down to the bottom. Juliet's alive, but can't be in good shape - that was a long-ass fall.

At the Beach. Everyone heads into the base of the statue looking for Jacob. Locke or "Locke" or whoever this is tells everyone that Jacob's dead. Jacob's bodyguards start shooting at him, and then "Locke" disappears, the Smoke Monster arriving in his place. Smokey kicks everyone's ass and leaves. Ben survives, and Locke comes back all, "I'm sorry they had to see me like that." So Locke or "Locke" is the Smoke Monster.

Island. I love Sawyer and Juliet so much. They're awesome. Juliet tells him she has something important to tell him, and then dies. R.I.P. Juliet. Now I feel the pain all over again. And Sawyer will have his revenge! Jack is a dead man!!!

Plane. The plane lands safely at LAX. I suppose it's worth noting at this point that Jack doesn't know where Desmond is, and we don't see him on the plane either.

Oscar Nominations

I actually watched the nominations at my desk at work this morning, but totally spaced on commenting on them here. To be honest, there were no big surprises. All of the nominations went pretty much as they have in other awards shows.

I'm beyond pleased that Jeremy Renner was nominated for Best Actor for The Hurt Locker. I'm a big fan of his and for a hard-working actor who isn't well-known to get nominated... that's great.

Christoph Waltz was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for Inglourious Basterds. DUH!

There are 10 nominations for Best Picture this year, and I am not a fan of this. It nominates too many films and splits the votes for the ones that are actually worthy. Let me run them down.

Avatar. Look, it was OK, it was revolutionary film-making, and it was bound to be nominated. But it wasn't the Best Picture of the year.

The Blind Side. This is the one that stands out and makes you go, What? I still haven't seen it, even though I want to. I'm sure it's good, but there's just no way in hell it's the Best Picture of the year. I think even the filmmakers would admit to that.

District 9. I'm so pleased with this nomination. Will it win? No, but it really is an amazing film.

An Education. Have I seen this British film? No I have not.

The Hurt Locker. Amazing!

Inglourious Basterds. AMAZING!

Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire. No way in hell will I ever see this movie; it just looks too real and depressing. I'm sure it's good.

A Serious Man. It's the Coen Brothers movie no one saw. Next.

Up. It was really good, and definitely deserves to be nominated in a field of ten.

Up In The Air. Of course this one gets nominated as well, no surprise there, it was great.

I'm glad I've seen most of the Best Picture nominees. But it's clear which ones wouldn't have made the cut if there weren't 10 nominees.

01 February 2010


The episode starts with Jack listening in on Renee and Vladimir, as she tells him she has a buyer interested in weapons-grade uranium, and he acts generally creepy. He's pretty damn persistent is trying to convince her she wants to bang him. She decides that the only way to maintain her cover is to go ahead and give him some, so she tells Jack she's going dark and then she... "goes dark" I guess.

Starbuck is really effing dumb on this show. She actually gives that A-hole Ex With The Rape Van the location of a warehouse full of drug money, and helps him gain access so he can just walk in and take the money. I'm through with her. I'm through with Arlo too and his dumb nosiness. What a noodge.

David Anders strong-arms the doctor into curing his brother's radiation poisoning. Is that even possible? The doctor says it'll take 7-10 days to find out. We don't have 7-10 days, dammit! This is 24! Russian goons find them at the doctor's office somehow and kill the doctor, taking the boys back to Daddy. I have a feeling the main thing we're supposed to take out of this whole little scene is that "radiation poisoning is transferable through bodily fluids." Someone's going to be catching that stuff - and maybe on purpose!

President Hassan is having continued problems with the uprising in Pompadouristan. Everyone in the peace conference is pitching a fit about it too. But I couldn't care less!

Jack wears glasses when he goes undercover. He wears glasses, smokes cigarettes, and speaks German. After he transfers the money into Vlad's account, his goons try to kill Jack, but Freddie Prinze, Jr. is a good shot and takes them out first. Jack calls Vlad all, "Did you really think you could roll me for 5 million dollars, bitch?" Now Jack's on his way over to see Vlad and Renee.

My theory on radiation poisoning transfer might be dead - Daddy shot the sick brother. Unless, I don't know, David Anders puts some of his brother's blood in his dad's Bloody Mary or something.