24

Just as production on 24 is being delayed due to Kiefer Sutherland's surgery (proving once and for all that Kiefer Sutherland is NOT Jack Bauer), my viewing of the show was delayed due to me coming down with consumption.

Starbuck's Rape Van boyfriend is at a strip club celebrating his score. At this point, I'd say Starbuck should stop freaking calling him. What the hell? No shocker here - Kevin thinks this is the start of a beautiful partnership - you give me codes, I rob places.

Starbuck starts to tell Freddie Prinze, Jr. about her past, but of course they're interrupted, so she decides instead to leave work - AGAIN. She goes to the strip club and starts stalking the 2 idiots - with a gun. Great. Now she's going to kill people. Nerdy Arlo takes the opportunity to show Freddie surveillance images of Starbuck and Kevin meeting up. Because Arlo has had nothing better to do than take screencaps of surveillance footage. Creep.

The Russians took Jack underground and so CTU is on The Hunt For Jack. He's being questioned by Sergei and trying to make a deal for the nuclear rods. Much like Jack, Sergei doesn't make deals - he tortures. They string Jack up and pump high voltage through his stab wound. Jesus! After some horrific torture, Jack gets the better of the dude - using his feet to drive the electricity into his torturer instead. PWNED. Jack Bauer certainly is a strong, wily bastard - climbing up onto pipes like a damn spider monkey and breaking free just as the guy wakes up. He then uses his thighs - his legs are getting a lot of action tonight - to break the dude's neck. PWNED!!

Jack stabs his way to a working cell phone, calls Chloe, and captures Sergei. Sergei's all regretful about killing his son, and says he'll give the location of the rods in exchange for full immunity for him and the son he didn't kill. Everyone defers to Jack's judgment (of course) and so the President speaks to Sergei and the deal is made.

By the time Freddie and Team get to the rods, they're gone. Of course. The truck is empty and 2 Russians are shot through the head. David Anders is the one who stole them (Sergei's living son), and he's working with the Brother With The Fabulous Hair.

Tonight's episode of 24 is brought to you by Tommy Bahama Rum. Having the bad guys' lair in a restaurant sure does have its product placement advantages. (Yes, Bobby Z, I always notice these things.)

A quick note to all you 24 watchers: You should be watching Human Target. It's a lot like this show - but it doesn't take itself seriously. I mean, some of Jack's moves tonight were quite spry for a 50 year old man who has been stabbed in the gut and shot in the shoulder, yes?