31 October 2007

Happy Halloween Part 2

My friend Kar was the kid from The Grudge and freaked me the hell out all day.

Tweener is Having the Worst Halloween Ever

Actor Lane Garrison was sentenced Wednesday to 40 months in state prison and must pay restitution to his victims' families in his vehicular manslaughter trial. After the sentencing, the 27-year-old former Prison Break actor put his head in his hands as he was being led out of the courtroom.

Garrison was involved in a car accident last December that killed a 17-year-old Beverly Hills High School student, Vahagn Setian, and left a 15-year-old girl injured. He pleaded guilty in May to vehicular manslaughter without gross negligence and two other alcohol-related charges.


Today I'm dressed in my pajamas, robe, and pigtails. Like my boy Kiefer would say, dress like what you know.

30 October 2007

B&C Beauty of the Week

This one goes out to the one I love. Flawless!

B&C League Report: Week 8

Congratulations to this week's losers: Wide Stance (got decimated!), Hot Mama (squeaker!), Grillz, and Peterskin. The losers never get recognized and I just thought it was time that they were. Losers are the greatest!!!!!

We also had our first ever tie - between MacNCheese and KMo. Woo hoo! Mehaffeys make lovely bookends.

29 October 2007

The Heroes Balance Sheet Remains Positive

On one hand, we have Bennet committing memory-torture and then killing an old friend, basically in cold blood. Cool and badass. On the other hand, we have his daughter Claire pissing me off with her filler storyline. Not sure what teenagers are writing her storyline, but they should be shot.

On one hand, we have Sylar explaining to Alejandro (in English, which he can't understand) that he's going to kill him and his sister. Cool and badass. On the other hand, we have Alejandro and his sister and their filler storyline.

On one hand, we have Monica given an iPod full of videos that she can use to learn new things. Cool but not really badass. On the other hand, we have Hiro and his filler storyline.

Peter has a note left for him in Montreal by Adam, the new big bad. And he teleports himself/is teleported into the future - where NYC is deserted due to a 6/14/08 evacuation order. NYC sure is the hotbed of apocalyptic activity on this show. The preview said in the future 93% of the world is dead. Viral epidemic = less traffic!

I'm pretty sure I already know who Adam is, but I won't say it here. I will say that they should have gotten to the point a lot sooner. A lot of this other stuff was filler, and these episodes could have been condensed to like 3. I like to get on with the action and don't feel like we're moving in a clear, unified direction. I tolerate it because it's still Heroes and most of it is still cool. But I know everyone else is losing patience. I drink the Heroes Kool-Aid and it's delicious.


I sit here eating the Wheat Thins I didn’t eat on my Southwest flight home last night, pondering my trip up North. It was loads of fun, and the temperature was just right.

Wednesday and Thursday we were tourists in DC. I recommend my itinerary for anyone who wants to do a quick and dirty DC trip. Day 1: National Gallery of Art. Pay more attention to the East Building for more modern art. They have a great Edward Hopper exhibit right now. Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. Dinosaur bones, gems, taxidermied animals, cavemen. What’s not to like? Day 2: Air & Space Museum. Be sure to buy astronaut ice cream. Lunch at the National Museum of the American Indian. Best food court in town – buffalo, elk, salmon, pumpkin soup, guacamole, and chicken fingers if you really need that touristy food. The museum is a quick one to see as well. Finally, the Hirshhorn Museum for more modern art. We lucked out weather-wise, because it was really just misting/drizzling all day, no biggie.

We stayed in an alleged swingers hotel in DC. Sure, everything about it said “Swingers Hotel”. But I swear I didn’t know that, and I didn’t notice any swinging activity, and I would totally stay there again because it was cool. We had dinner at Central, which I loved. It's run by the French version of that comedian dude that doesn't like the blacks. The cheese puffs and apple beer were money! The second night we had dinner at Chez Morrissey - equally as good!

In Baltimore we went to the National Aquarium and then had an authentic Maryland dinner, complete with crab cakes and Maryland crab soup. Can't find that in Florida! FYI - the Aquarium is still a rip-off. It was a rip-off when it was $14. Now it's $21.95!!! That's B.S.!

In Pennsylvania it was sunny and 60. Delightful. Lots of colorful trees and we spent lots of time with family.

Pictures to follow when I get around to downloading them.... I have a lot of TV watching to do!


Cool new feature I just noticed but has probably been around for months....

When you leave a comment, you can click a box that will email follow-up comments to you. So you know when others are joning on you after the fact.

Knock It Off, Douchbag!

You're still my fantasy QB, Romo. Keep it in line!
After a long court hearing for her custody battle on Friday, Britney Spears hit the town with her longtime friend Alli Sims – and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

The pop star, dressed in a masquerade ball mask, and Sims, first made a quick stop at the L.A. restaurant Ketchup where Romo was having dinner.

Later, Romo met up with Sims, Spears and other pals at the Hollywood hotspot Les Deux where they hung out for a friendly low-key night upstairs.

Fantasy Football Report

I'm back at work after being on vacation. So yuck. But let me just give a quick wrap-up of yesterday's games so that Mehaffey can start crowing.

Due to poor planning, and NOT due to the talent of the winner, Wide Stance is currently 50 points behind McLovin. All of my reserve players were on bye! Dagger! I have 1 more player tonight - can Donald Lee get me 51 points? Go Lee!!!

Now for the games where tonight will actually make a difference:
Sex Panther is ahead of Grillz 61 to 57; the Panther has Cutler tonight and Grillz has 2 players. Peterskin is ahead of ManBearPig 73 to 69, with both having one player tonight. And MacNCheese is losing to KMo 78 to 85, but is playing Brandon Marshall tonight.

One final outcome: Ron Mexico defeated Hot Mama in a squeaker - 79 to 78. Sorry, Karen - whether you lose by 50 or lose by 1, it's still a loss. Join me in the Land of This Week's Losers. If only you had played Galloway instead of It's Not A Toomer.

26 October 2007

Let's Play "Fug or Fabulous"

Renee Zellweger is a hot mess. Pale beyond belief. Lemon faced. And that hair. Ugh.

25 October 2007

24: Day 7 Trailer

What I like about this: everything. Except the part where the chick says, "Torture him if you have to" 'cuz I think that's in the 24 Drinking Game it's so cliche.

Tony's a badass. And you know this because he has short hair. KICKASS! I also like the different look of the show, with it taking place in "D.C." The only hesitation for me is that Jack comes face-to-face with Tony and that means Tony might be a goner. Again.

Like my friend says, 24 has 5 episodes to suck me in or else it's OVER!

Which Picture is Gayer?

Checking in from DC to ask this important question. Which is gayer? This awesome movie poster or a little boy wearing striped leggings?

23 October 2007

I've Always Said Ugly People Come From Pennsylvania

Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States, a survey of visitors and residents showed on Friday.

The city of more than 1.5 million people was also found to be among the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly, according to the "America's Favorite Cities" survey by Travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News.

For unattractiveness, Philadelphia just beat out Washington DC and Dallas/Fort Worth for the bottom spot. Miami and San Diego are home to the most attractive people, the poll found.

Philadelphians' self-esteem has been undermined by national surveys showing they are among the fattest people in the United States. The American Obesity Association ranked the city in the top 10 for overweight people every year between 2000 and 2005.

B&C League Report: Week 7

This week's winners: Wide Stance, KMo, MacNCheese (can you say winning streak?), Sex Panther, and McLovin. KMo's QB Tom Brady got her the Most Points By One Player in One Week so far - 50.

Next week the Money Matchup of the Season - McLovin v. Wide Stance in The Battle of 6-1. For the record, I'm scared - half my team is on bye!!

Six weeks left in the Fantasy Football regular season so it's anyone's season!

22 October 2007

Heroes Rules

Even with the vast number of characters and the jam-packed, slightly-uneven start to the season, I am feeling quite optimistic now. And the previews for next week looked great. I'm a sucker for editing I guess.

This episode was good, and featured maybe the greatest sequence yet. Matt and Nathan find Matt's creepy dad, who at first seems to be cooperating, but then he uses his powers to lock each of them in a nightmare. For Nathan it's post-apocalyptic New York and a burned-up version of himself. For Matt, it's being imprisoned and facing his ex-wife and (his?) baby. Then comes the cool part - where they fight someone in their respective dreams but really they are fighting each other. It was cool. Finally Matt realizes it and they both awaken from their nightmares. Matt's dad has gone off, presumably in search of the next target: Bob.

The Company sends Mohinder to get Monica. Monica has realized that her copycat abilities aren't limited to television. Micah is playing the piano and she copies it. Micah reveals his power to her and then they decide to go have some fun testing their powers. Kids have the best ideas. She duplicates double-dutch and Bruce Lee. If I could copy anything, what would I watch on TV? I'd probably watch martial arts, gymnastics, Project Runway, and Top Chef.

Peter's Irish girlfriend is a painter and when he sees a blank canvas he goes all Future Painty. And paints Montreal. Also, Kristen Bell is looking for Peter. "A company" sent her to find him. She has the Power of Electricity - excellent!! What is the appeal of Kristen Bell? I mean, I see it. I do. I like the girl, even though I've never watched Veronica Mars. Is it just that she's spunky and cute? Cuz she's just adorable. She's searching for Peter, but then gets a phone call calling her off the hunt. From someone she calls "Daddy." Bob? Bennet? The Haitian?

Prison Bust

This brief recap is dedicated to the 10% of my audience that used to watch Prison Break but gave it up 2 weeks ago.

Linc still hasn't found a towel to mop up his sweaty melon head. Michael and That Australian Dude were logging the guards' movements and planning the escape - for the middle of the day. Mike tried to be all McGruber - he built a freaking EMP out of a microwave and TV antennas (no, I'm not exaggerating). But a guard caught him peeping with binoculars and they locked down the prison til they found the binoculars, which they thought was a weapon. Long story short, the door to the cell they were going to escape from was chained shut.

Mahone saw something through his heroin haze involving a guard and a coffee cup - that's as far as that got. And Linc buried a cooler in the sand - he showed the contents to That Spanish Chick and referred to it as "our getaway vehicle". The beach was walking distance to Sona.

In 2 weeks there will be a 2-hour episode. It actually does look exciting and action-packed, but that could just be the editing. You never know with this show.

This Week's Theme: Movies with Names in the Titles

With a title like The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford you know it's going to be a long movie. If they couldn't see fit to edit the title down, why would they bother with editing the movie? Well, to paraphrase Ron Burgundy, this movie is good but it is filling. It's also very quiet; there wasn't even much of a score. But the performances are good and the story is interesting. Casey Affleck is hella creepy. See it if you have a large bladder and almost 3 hours to kill.
Michael Clayton has a title that lets you know what the movie's about - a dude named Michael Clayton. I didn't know anything beyond that and "legal thriller" when I went to see it. The movie starts by dropping you right in the middle of things and then working backward, so if you're slow on the uptake, skip it or watch it in your living room when you can ask questions. It's a very well-done movie, and the end is kick-ass. I wouldn't say either of these movies are earth-shattering or particularly exciting. Wow, those are ringing endorsements. Go see these movies!

Fantasy Football Report

What a difference a week makes. Stover goes from 14 points to 2, but Wide Stance is still leading ManBearPig 81 to 63. We both have 2 players tonight.

Brady nets KMo a whopping 50 points and beats Peterskin 113 to 86. A better Commish would research whether that’s the most points contributed by a player this season. I’m gonna go with yes, but should have time to research tomorrow before I post the final results.

MacNCheese looks to extend her winning streak to 2 – she’s down a point to Grillz, but has 2 players tonight. Vinatieri’s gotta get at least one extra point, right?

Sex Panther has defeated Ron Mexico 81 to 74, despite his QB scoring as many points as Clay Aiken scored yesterday. Sex Panther’s smart thinking, adding Chad Johnson’s back-up, got him 33 points!

McLovin is ahead of Hot Mama 78 to 56. He has 2 players tonight; she has one Peyton Manning. Unfortunately for her, Najeh Davenport crapped all over that game like he crapped in that chick’s closet, getting her zippy points.

As you know, the Commish is heading North this week. And that means it’s time to hand over the Lincolns. I will also accept 5 George Washingtons. I will not be accepting spare change.

Good luck to those playing tonight!

21 October 2007

Harry Potter Just Got Even Gayer

Damn! I was really hoping it was Ron Weasley!!!
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outed Hotwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore at a talk at New York City’s Carnegie Hall.

A young fan asked during the Q&A if Dumbledore finds true love and Rowling responded, "Dumbledore is gay."

The audience gasped, some burst into applause, others gave a standing ovation.

Added Rowling, "Dumbledore fell in love with rival Gellert Grindelwald… Don’t forget, falling in love can blind us. [He] was very drawn to this brilliant person. This was Dumbledore’s great tragedy… In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying I knew a girl once, whose hair… [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, 'Dumbledore’s gay!' [laughter] If I’d known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!"

19 October 2007

What Kind of Dog is This?

'Cuz it's hella cute and I hella want one. Rihanna's dog looks like a teddy bear.

They Know How to Ruin a Good Thing

Ahhhh... Prison Break. You used to be so good. So good. I'm trying to stand by you, but I have a feeling I won't have to much longer.... A four-month break is a really good idea for a show that's dropping viewers left and right!!! Asses.
Just as fans were recovering from the particularly graphic and grisly end to Dr. Sara Tancredi, there's even more drastic news that's just been announced regarding the third season of Prison Break. The show is going on an extended hiatus.

Fox has confirmed the earlier rumblings that the show will be taking a break starting in December, and won't return until 2008. The show is having what's called a "fall finale" on December 17. After a four month break, the first episode after the hiatus is slated to air on April 24. Once the late spring season starts up again, all the remaining episodes will run until early June.

When the show has its fall finale, there will have been about 12 to 13 episodes run in the fall season. How many episodes will ultimately run in the spring season remains to be seen.

18 October 2007

Will I Never Learn?

Tyra's first rule - keep your chin down. This is horribly embarrassing. Therefore it must be published. My career in real-size modeling is OVER.

Only a Comedian Would Do This

Ralphie May named his new daughter April June May.

Mark Your Calendars

I'm gonna need access to a computer when I'm up North for my vacation!
Fox's 24 will world-premiere a Day 7 trailer on Thursday, Oct. 25, at 1 pm/ET on the Panasonic jumbo screen in New York City's Times Square and at 24Trailer.com. Later that night, the first promo for the show's seventh season (launching Jan 13 and 14) will air during Game 2 of the World Series.

"Set in Washington, DC, Day 7 opens with CTU dismantled and Jack Bauer on trial. Bauer’s day takes an unexpected turn when former colleague Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard) returns. Meanwhile, President Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones) leads the country alongside White House Chief of Staff Ethan Kanan (Bob Gunton) and First Gentleman Henry Taylor (Colm Feore). A national security crisis prompts an investigation by a team of FBI agents including Agent Janis Gold (Janeane Garofalo), Agent Renee Walker (Annie Wersching), Agent Larry Moss (Jeffrey Nordling), Agent Sean Hillinger (Rhys Coiro) and security specialist Michael Latham (John Billingsley). Although CTU is no longer, Chloe O'Brian and Bill Buchanan are back for another momentous day of shocking events."

Star Trek Casting Complete

From EW:
Chris Pine will play a young Captain James T. Kirk and Karl Urban has been cast as Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy in J.J. Abrams' upcoming Star Trek movie for Paramount.

Urban's the dude on the left who looks like Brad Pitt, killed Jason Bourne's girlfriend, and played a Viking raised by Indians in some crap movie Mike wanted to see.
Just last week, Abrams cast John Cho as Sulu, Simon Pegg as Scotty, and Eric Bana as the villain Nero. Also on board are Zoe Saldana as the young Uhura, Anton Yelchin as the young Chekov, and Zachary Quinto as the young Spock. Original Spock Leonard Nimoy will also appear in the movie. Little is known about the plot other than it will probably chronicle the Enterprise crew's early days at the Starfleet Academy.

17 October 2007


The Wilhelm Scream is a stock sound effect first used in 1951 for the film Distant Drums. It's been used in about a billion movies ever since. And watching this compilation I laugh every time I hear it.

16 October 2007

B&C League Report: Week 6

Congrats to this week's winners: Wide Stance, MacNCheese (woo-hoo!), Peterskin, Ron Mexico, and McLovin. Damn that McLovin!! Can't wait for our Week 8 match-up - it's like the Patriots going against the Colts! Well, except that we've both lost once. But you know what I mean. We're just both really awesome.

15 October 2007

Heroes: A Bunch of Set-Up

Mercifully, we were spared a new Prison Break due to baseball. I bet when they return they lose half of the little audience they had left. I know one 30-something male who won't be watching. But I'm sticking with it because, until the Petrelli Brothers reunite, it's the most homoerotic show on television.

Heroes was a lot of setting up, but not entirely boring. The Wonder Twins' storyline just got 200% more interesting - they ran into Sylar. He killed their traveling companion and witnessed their power, whatever it is. Now the 3 are off to see Mohinder. And Sylar used the word "golly" - LOVE it when he pretends to be a good guy.

Micah lives with his cousin in New Orleans, and she apparently has the ability to do anything that is shown on television, whether it be tomato roses or wrestling moves.

Finally, lots of marital strife in the Matt and Mohinder household. Matt gets the whole photo of the Ancient Brotherhood of Old Heroes Thingy - and his dad is in it. Molly recognizes him as the "nightmare man", figured out he's in Philly eating cheesesteaks, and then gets trapped in her mind. Or something. Pretty cool.

Next week looks hella awesome. Kristen Bell. Matt's wife with the baby that apparently isn't his. She's gonna be jealous of Mohinder!

There are just too many damn characters on this show because we only saw like half of them tonight - there is too much going on! I'm fine with killing off anyone whose last name isn't Petrelli or whose name isn't Sylar.

Celebrity Babies Are Richer Than You

Who needs toys? Violet Affleck plays with twenties!

Things to Do: Have Kids, Move to Australia

Family groups in Australia have expressed disgust over pole-dancing classes started for kids as young as seven. The classes in Sydney impart pole-dancing classes as strengthening and flexibility workouts for teens and pre-teens.

Critics have slammed the move and called them as "sexualizing young children" and risking exploitation by pedophiles.

Kids who have started taking up classes have defended the dance form, calling it an exercise. "It's really fun and you get to learn a lot of different moves. People think it's pole dancing but it's not. It's great exercise," News.com.au quoted 11-year-old Angela Perry as saying.

The girl's mother Julie said that pole dancing is being used as healthy exercise. "It's not slutty or anything. I've seen pole dancing on TV and they don't do anything like that here. It's building up her strength after she got ill and it doesn't put too much pressure on her muscles. She's much stronger, healthier and more confident," she added.

If there's one thing I know, it's that if you want a quality stripper, you really have to start training them young.

Fantasy Football Report

First of all let me say, Week 6 and we're still going strong! Yay! Thanks to everyone for either maintaining their line-ups, or having their significant others do it for them.

My work is done for the week. I defeated Hot Mama 94 to 77. Wide Stance was helped by the great Baltimore game, where I got all the Baltimore points since McGahee and Stover did the scoring. Stover solidified his status as King of the Kickers by getting me 16 points, way more than any other Kicker. And the Baltimore DST looked good again. Thanks, guys!

But the big story of the week is MacNCheese. Mary is the Coach of the Week - congratulations on your first win! Mike might try to say he let you win, but his muttering and cursing of Vince Young all afternoon say otherwise. She still has a player to go tonight and is ahead 81 to 38. Very solid win!

Peterskin has already defeated Grillz 72 to 64, and he still has Burress tonight (if he plays).

It’s a close one between KMo (82) and McLovin (79), and McLovin still has Jacobs tonight.

ManBearPig got a lot of points off Tomlinson, but it wasn’t enough to hold off Ron Mexico, who wins 122 to 109 in the final.

13 October 2007

B&C Player of the Week

Let's see if Coach Karen fires him....
Pittsburgh Steelers running back Najeh Davenport was charged with domestic violence, child endangering and unlawful restraint in a custody-related confrontation with the mother of his five-year-old son.

According to police, Person said Davenport was picking up the child for a court-approved visit and threatened to keep him. She said Davenport drove off as she unbuckled the child's seatbelt and then slapped and choked her and slammed her to the

But he's really the Player of the Week because of this old story:
Green Bay Packers fullback Najeh Davenport was arrested Monday, accused of breaking into a university dormitory and defecating in a woman's closet.

According to police, Davenport crept into a dorm room at Barry University around 6 a.m. on April 1. A woman sleeping in the room, Mary McCarthy, told police she was startled by a strange sound and saw Davenport squatting in her closet. Davenport then allegedly defecated in a laundry basket, McCarthy told detectives.

12 October 2007

Holy Crap! Worst Casting Ever!!!

I hate this guy! Or, I should say, I hated him 20 years ago when he was semi-relevant!!!
The mysterious Minkowski, whose voice was heard on the other side of the satellite phone found by the Lost gang, now has a face as Fisher Stevens has been tapped to play the role on the ABC series.

Stevens will recur as Minkowski on Lost. The character, which was referenced several times toward the end of last season, was only heard talking to Jack on the phone and told the survivors in the third-season finale in May that they will be rescued.

Holy Crap! Greatest Casting Ever!!!

I am totally geeking out over this!!! More Star Trek casting news! Love these guys!
John Cho and Simon Pegg have boarded the Starship Enterprise.

Cho has been cast as Sulu, the Enterprise's helmsman, while Pegg has signed on to play Scotty, the ship's Scottish chief engineer, in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek feature for Paramount.

11 October 2007

In Case This Blog Wasn't Geeky Enough

Greatest video ever. I'm obsessed with LARPers. Two Damage! Two Damage!

Fall Season: Week Three

Only one cut so far, but it's kind of a big one considering what a geek I am: Bionic Woman. I really wanted to cut off last night's show at the 20-minute mark, but I figured I'd at least give it the full hour. The show drastically changed after the pilot. It is horribly edited and put together haphazardly. There's no clear villain. It would be good if that blonde chick was the villain, but she ain't. There's not an abundance of action and the Bionic Woman is sent on these dumb, wrapped-up-in-45-minutes missions. Good-bye; you have been deleted from my DVR.

In a surprise move, K-Ville remains on Active Status on the DVR. It's good Tuesday night time-shifted viewing. They changed the plot finally for episode 3. I like the actors; I like the characters; it'll be canceled soon because America likes to watch washed-up performers dancing instead.

Life, Pushing Daisies, Chuck, and Journeyman are still in. Again, great actors and characters. I find Chuck freaking hysterical.

I'm still forced against my will to watch Kid Nation. Last night a 9-year-old was crying because he missed his girlfriend!! WTF? And he ended up leaving the show. Over some pussy. Looks like next week they're having elections, which will actually be interesting - there is a C on that Town Council that needs to be beheaded. Yes, a 9-year-old can be a C.

Alex is my favorite kid though. I call him Yoko Ono. Last night in the middle of the show, Mike did a pretty killer impression of him. We'll see if this photo can do it justice.

Hugh Grant Loves the Ladies

Nothing wrong with being 47 in a pile of drunken college students. He's the British Mel Gibson!

10 October 2007

If Your From Pennsylvania Your Real Intelligence

Change for a million? That's what a man was seeking Saturday when he handed a $1 million bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket. But when the Giant Eagle employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage, police said.

The man slammed an electronic funds-transfer machine into the counter and reached for a scanner gun, police said.

Police arrested the man, who was not carrying identification and has refused to give his name to authorities. He is being held in the Allegheny County Jail.

Pardon My Lateness

I haven't really commented on casting for the new Star Trek movie. Not that I was really into the original Star Trek, but I will of course still see this. J.J. Abrams should do a good job of re-working it. And the casting has been the bomb.

Zachary Quinto is perfect for the role of Spock. Now whenever I watch him on Heroes I see the dead-on resemblance. It's creepy. Can't wait to see him on the big screen, even if he will have pointy ears and a pumpkin pie haircut.

The latest news:
Australian actor Eric Bana, best known for his role in "Munich," will be playing a new villain called "Nero" in the J.J. Abrams-directed "Star Trek" movie, according to inside sources. Little else is known about this character, but based on Bana's past performances the Aussie hunk will make a fine antagonist.

Production is slated to begin next month at Paramount, with a release date of Christmas Day 2008.

He's a good-ass actor (see Munich, not Hulk). The movie's gonna be a little bit money!

Jack Bauer Will Kick Ass in Prison

Kiefer Sutherland has struck a deal in his DUI case, pleading no contest Tuesday to a misdemeanor drunk-driving charge, according to court documents.

His attorney, Blair Berk, met with city prosecutors ahead of his scheduled arraignment next week. The Los Angeles City Attorney's office is recommending to the judge that Sutherland be sentenced to 48 days in jail – 30 days for the DUI conviction, and an additional 18 days for violating his probation.

The actor, 40, will be sentenced on Dec. 21.

"I'm very disappointed in myself for the poor judgment I exhibited recently, and I'm deeply sorry for the disappointment and distress this has caused my family, friends and co-workers on 24 and at 20th Century Fox," Sutherland said in a statement. "I appreciate the support and concern that has been extended to me these last weeks both personally and professionally."

The actor was arrested Sept. 25 after he was pulled over for making an illegal U-turn in Hollywood. Police said he then failed a field sobriety test.

09 October 2007

B&C League Report: Week 5

Wow, we've made it to Week 5. And people still seem to be invested, making changes to their lineups, etc. Nice!

Thank you Romo!!! When I went to bed you looked dreadful, but apparently things picked up and you and Witten got me enough points to defeat KMo. It's me and McLovin at the top, baby!

Turns out ManBearPig's kicker did have a hell of a night, just not big enough. He definitely got pwned by HotMama!

Poor, poor Mary. Beaten by 2 points and still oh-fer. Will SexPanther take pity on her next week?

08 October 2007

Heroes: Guess Who's Back?


OK, let's get to the other stuff. We've got too many stories going on here. I could do without the Honduran Wonder Twins.

Again, Mohinder and Matt are the Greatest Gay Couple Ever. D.L. is officially dead. Niki takes Micah to live with Lt. Uhura. West and Claire share their Super Secrets with each other, and West reveals he was kidnapped a couple years back by Claire's dad. That'll make the first time he comes over for dinner awkward. Mohinder sends Bennet a picture of Painting 8 of 8 and it shows Bennet dead. Noooooooo!

Peter is trying to become The New Sylar. And Badass Peter rules. He moves a truck with the wave of his hand, spits bullets back out of his chest, nearly chokes a dude to death (but pusses out), and macks on the Irish chick instead of finding out his true identity. He even gets the Irish Brotherhood Tattoo, but it disappears from his arm - just after forming the shape of the Squiggly Lines of Mystery.

Now back to The Real Sylar. He's with Candice the Amazing Shapeshifter, who made the illusion of a Maui beach when in actuality he's recovering from several surgeries and holed up in a shack somewhere in the middle of Lost Island. Sylar can't seem to get his powers to work. So he kills Candice the old-fashioned way. Then she shifts back to her true form - a fat chick. (Nice continuity, since that's what Candice said she really looked like last season.) So Sylar has the taste for braaaaains again, and yet he can't seem to use her power. I thought maybe The Haitian was back, but he wasn't that we could see.

Sylar's impotent and Peter's horny with power. Sounds like we've got a show, people!!!!!!!

Prison Break: What's In The Box?

Well, it was indeed Sara's head in the box. Dagger. What a total and complete waste of a good character. I liked her. This sucks. Lincoln doesn't tell Michael.

I hate Bellick. Never felt sorry for him when he was staggering around in a diaper. And this is why - he's a pathetic, numbnuts, backstabbing rat. Luckily, his rat-ness backfires and he ends up getting the scalding-hot-coffee treatment on his back.

T-Bag continued his killing spree after a brief interruption, killing the drug dealer on Lechero's crew, presumably so that he can join said crew, partaking in the electric fans and television.

Mahone is haunted by the Ghost of Haywire until he gives into the sweet, sweet drugs T-Bag offers. He ends up threatening Michael thisclose to his face. I'm sticking with the show mainly because I believe a Mahone/Michael make-out session is imminent.

And also because Papi's here to save the day! They've got Sucre working as a gravedigger and spraying a chemical on the prison fence to erode it away.

I'm Just Saying....

Fantasy Football Report

It was a dreadful QB day for a few teams. SexPanther's Vince Young got him 2 points, but that was better than ManBearPig's zippy from Kitna and Grillz' zippy from Bulger. Looks like people will be talking trade soon....

The only final result from yesterday: RonMexico continues his comeback by defeating Grillz 72 to 58. All that whining like a little girl may have paid off for Ron...

WideStance and KMo have 2 players left tonight; I'm hoping Mr. Romo will help me make up the 12 point deficit I'm facing.

HotMama is ahead of ManBearPig by 55. His kicker's going to have to have one hell of a night to make that up! Start warming up, Folk!

SexPanther needs Patrick Crayton to make up 24 points if he hopes to defeat McLovin.

The closest game tonight is Peterskin v. MacNCheese, currently 58 to 60, with 1 player each playing tonight. I'm pulling for MacNCheese to get her first win.

You Have Been Warned

Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't see The Heartbreak Kid. I figured the Farrelly Brothers' first R-rated comedy since There's Something About Mary would be good. I was wrong. A couple laughs, but save it for a rainy-day rental.

That is all.

04 October 2007

Mother Nature Can Die

Thanks, bitch, for messing up my Fall Vacation plans. I'll try again in a couple weeks!!!

If it weren't for those team logos, you wouldn't be able to tell which was Philly, DC, and South Florida!

Let's Play "Gunt or Baby?"

New Fall Television Cont'd

Yes, I neglected to mention Kid Nation. Mike has forced me to watch this. It's horrible. They made kids kill chickens. Kids have to clean toilets. Kids have to run through sand storms. Kids cry because they want to go home. (Poor Jimmy! "I'm only 8 I think I'm too young for this!" Shame on his parents.) Last night was horrible - shots of the kids partying it up at the Saloon - doing shots and things that looked like Irish car bombs. Pretty good behavior they're emulating!!

Mostly I find this show hard to watch because of the nature of the subject. Children. 39 of them. Shrieking. Constantly shrieking. I have to turn the volume way down during competitions because they scream so much, and then the adult host screams over them and it's just a cluster-f. Also, most of these kids are in the Ugly Phase, so there's no eye candy.

And then they give them a microwave as a reward. A microwave? Well there goes the whole "this is supposed to be just like the Wild West" thing.

Pushing Daisies was really good, and actually got great ratings, so the quirk might work here too! It reminded me of a Tim Burton movie. It's a fairy tale really, and felt like a movie. It could have ended with the pilot. So it will be interesting to see what else they do to continue the story. And I was right about the lead. Unappealing douche.

Bionic Woman went way off-track for the second episode. And not just because of Isaiah Washington. But partially because of Isaiah Washington. Also, because every good hero needs a good, equal villain. I thought that blonde chick, the first Bionic Woman, was supposed to be that. But instead they did some kind of saving-the-world plot that I actually didn't get AT ALL. Superman's boring when he's flying around in his underwear saving babies. He's a lot better when he's fighting Lex Luthor. That's all I'm saying.

03 October 2007

New Fall Television

I know you are eagerly awaiting my report on the new Fall shows. Two episodes in is probably a little early to make a judgment, but when has that stopped me before. I love making judgments!

K-Ville: I'll give it another watch and then it's off my DVR. I love Anthony "I'll give you a hint - it's semen" Anderson and the New Orleans setting is intriguing. But the plots of the first two episodes were essentially the same: bad guys trying to chase people out of their neighborhood so they can either buy it out and rebuild it or turn it into green space. So that plot needs to change by next week.

Life: I've only seen the pilot (I think it airs Wednesdays) but it was my favorite new show. The Grown-Up Ginger Kid lead, Damian Lewis, is really good. His character is a Los Angeles detective who spent 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Now he has a ton of money from the settlement, his job back, and the desire to solve his case. He's as quirky as Jeff Goldblum's character on Raines, but I like him more. The quirk works here. Unfortunately, I predict that this will be the first new show to be canceled.

Chuck: I already think it's pretty good and really funny, and I hear the rest of the episodes are better. So this will remain on my DVR for Tuesday viewing.

Journeyman: Haven't caught the second episode yet, but I really liked the premise of the first one and like the lead dude so I'm going to keep up with this one too.

Bionic Woman: I had already seen the pilot at Comic-Con, but watched it again since they re-worked it. It's a good show, but I need to see how the next few episodes are.

Cavemen: God help me, I watched this last night. Really just because I heard how horrible it was and I felt like watching for the cringe value. Tragically, I ended up laughing out loud 3 or 4 times. I'm so sorry. Nick Kroll can say anything and it's funny. It's pretty surreal watching a show about f-ing Cavemen, but it was funny and I'll probably watch again to see if it remains so.

I think that's it for the new shows I'm watching. I'll watch or record Pushing Daisies tonight just because I heard it's good. But from the commercials the lead actor Lee Pace is really unappealing. Look at him: he looks like a total douche.

02 October 2007

B&C League Report: Week 4

I no longer have the software to snag a picture of the scoreboard (working on that), so here's the recap:

WideStance (3-1) defeated Peterskin (2-2) 100 to 71.

HotMama (2-2) held on for the win in a squeaker, defeating KMo (2-2) 76 to 73.

ManBearPig (3-1) defeated SexPanther (2-2) 91 to 65.

Grillz (2-2) defeated McLovin (3-1) 71 to 53. Only fitting that his wife would hand him his first loss of the season.

RonMexico (1-3) defeated MacNCheese (0-4) 62 to 52.

01 October 2007

Happy to Report Heroes is Still Good

Most of it anyway. Still don't know what's going on with Maya and her brother. They get separated; black stuff leaks from her eyes and those around her; he returns and takes the blacky stuff into himself, which in turn revives the dead person. Mmm-kay.

I guess this season's plot revolves around 1) the virus that is contracted by Heroes and 2) the person murdering/attempting to murder the older-generation Heroes. Bennet has the first in a series of 8 paintings conveniently left behind by Isaac. It shows Sulu dead; can't wait to see what the others are. Were there 8 older-generation Heroes?

I approve 100% of a French-speaking Mohinder. Hawt. The Haitian has contracted the virus, and it ain't AIDS. Mohinder cures him then plays like he erased his memory. The Haitian reunites with Bennet at the copy shop and I applaud. The Dynamic Duo is back, baby!

The New Powerful Peter is excellent - he phased through his ropes, he healed, he had super-strength, and he emitted some kind of electric pulse. Excellent. We get another show with a "What's in the box?" ending, only this time the box allegedly contains information about Peter's identity. He can get it - if he joins the merry crew of thieves. Thieving Peter will be great, I know it.

Claire starts to think outside the box: maybe her healing powers can be used to benefit others. She performs some self-experimentation, cutting off her little toe and watching it grow back. Don't let that perfectly good pinky toe go to waste, Claire - donate it!

Best revelation of the night: Mama Petrelli got her some Sulu action in the past. Hiro could be the 3rd Petrelli Brother!

Prison Break Stinks

I mean, really, it is totally joyless for me now. What a shame. But I'm not giving up yet. Especially after the Seven-style "What's in the f-ing box?" ending. Mike says it's Sara's head. If so, yuck. I hope she doesn't go out that way. Lame.

I'm sick of Lincoln's sweaty barrel chest. No shower in his hotel room? I'm sick of characters writing codes and speaking in codes. I don't think I could make up a code on the spot if I tried, let alone make up one someone else would be able to understand. I'm sick of Mahone being stuck on this show when he should have his own spin-off of just twitching and raging for 47 minutes each week.

The writers are about to strike in Hollywood, and this show might be the better for it.

Battle for the Title of Hottie of the Week

Which one is the hotter dude? When did Tori Spelling turn into a godforsaken tranny? This is the grossest "hot chick" I've ever seen.

Fantasy Football Report

It's my pleasure to report that Wide Stance soundly defeated Peterskin 100 to 71, despite my Baltimore-heavy suckfest team.

HotMama is beating KMo 76 to 47, but KMo has 3 players left tonight including "questionable" QB Tom Brady.

ManBearPig has taken down Sex Panther - 86-and-counting to 65.

In the Battle of Peyton Randolph, Grillz proved who the boss is in that house by whooping McLovin 58 to 37.

Finally, in the Fight of the Frustrated Fiancees Who Flounder at Fantasy Football, Ron Mexico defeated MacNCheese 62 to 52. Congrats Mary, you're the only one who is 0-for.

On a side note, yesterday was a suck-ass day for my other leagues thanks to all the underdogs winning. I'm out of my Survivor League thanks to San Diego. And I BLOW at my Pick 'Em League. In fact, here's the strategy I've worked out for next week: Friday I'm going to make all my picks. Saturday I'm going to go in and reverse all those picks. We'll see if that works.