Come on, Mondo! Let's do this!
Austin's having a fashion orgasm. I don't want to watch Austin have a fashion orgasm.
There's an awful fake, half-hearted red carpet and pathetic crowd of people. This ain't Fashion Week, honey.
Austin calls his collection "Austin Scarlett" (natch). It's made for a vampire from the 18th century who now resides in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and borrows clothes from her Hasidic dandy friends. OK..... It looks every bit the way he meant it to, but I don't consider that a good thing. Meanwhile, he's fashion orgasming again. Gross.
Mondo of course presents "Therapy" and it's wonderful. I love the models' hair.
Michael bring us "Serengeti." It's awesome. A bit too literal for me, with all of the animal prints, but I'll allow it.
Austin's was just a bunch of melodramatic crap. I'd be fine with Michael winning, but we know Mondo is my first love. There is a ton of dragging things out; a TON.
Michael comes in third, which is crap.
Winner: Mondo. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Austin, always the bridesmaid but never the bride. Take your homeless mother to Paris with you.
Showing posts with label Project Runway. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Project Runway. Show all posts
22 March 2012
17 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Finale Part One, bitches!
Final Challenge: Design a collection of 5 looks in 4 days. Easy! But first, a giant ad for Marie Claire magazine. Snoooooze.
Austin says he's doing something that's like a female rock star mixed with a Hasidic gentleman. What the actual eff. Mondo's having one of his emo times, where he's not feeling any of his fabrics and doesn't know what to do. Oh poor, sad, unmotivated Mondo. He literally spends a day on the couch. But he usually pulls it out in the end. So he turns his mental illness into a collection theme -- therapy. Including some awesome homemade Rorschach-test fabric.
The designers have to make a 6th look using scrap fabric from their previous designs, and ousted designers are brought in to help for 24 hours. Mondo chooses Mila, Austin chooses Anthony, and Michael picks April. Anthony cracks his ass up over Austin's description of his collection. Love Anthony's honesty and love these two together.
It's a blue balls kind of ending, as we must wait til next week for the runway show.
Final Challenge: Design a collection of 5 looks in 4 days. Easy! But first, a giant ad for Marie Claire magazine. Snoooooze.
Austin says he's doing something that's like a female rock star mixed with a Hasidic gentleman. What the actual eff. Mondo's having one of his emo times, where he's not feeling any of his fabrics and doesn't know what to do. Oh poor, sad, unmotivated Mondo. He literally spends a day on the couch. But he usually pulls it out in the end. So he turns his mental illness into a collection theme -- therapy. Including some awesome homemade Rorschach-test fabric.
The designers have to make a 6th look using scrap fabric from their previous designs, and ousted designers are brought in to help for 24 hours. Mondo chooses Mila, Austin chooses Anthony, and Michael picks April. Anthony cracks his ass up over Austin's description of his collection. Love Anthony's honesty and love these two together.
It's a blue balls kind of ending, as we must wait til next week for the runway show.
11 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create a ready-to-wear design that can be mass-produced for cheap and sold in stores.
It's all very boring, as none of the remaining four contestants have real issues with each other. There's only some mild cattiness, but it all seems forced and is confined to the interview segments.
Kenley's dress is typically, fantastically adorable. Austin makes a pink, pleated crazy-twirly coat. Michael does another Golden Girls resort dress. Mondo's dress is a typical crazy mix of fabrics, but I'm worried it's too boxy. I don't want him to get booted; it'll break my heart again.
Winner: Mondo. Oh snap!! I thought he was going to go home. YAY!
Bye-bye: Kenley. The cut of the print kind of screwed her. Whatever - she's still awesome. Love ya, baby!!
So the finale will be Austin, Mondo, and Michael. FABULOUSSSSSS!!!!!!
It's all very boring, as none of the remaining four contestants have real issues with each other. There's only some mild cattiness, but it all seems forced and is confined to the interview segments.
Kenley's dress is typically, fantastically adorable. Austin makes a pink, pleated crazy-twirly coat. Michael does another Golden Girls resort dress. Mondo's dress is a typical crazy mix of fabrics, but I'm worried it's too boxy. I don't want him to get booted; it'll break my heart again.
Winner: Mondo. Oh snap!! I thought he was going to go home. YAY!
Bye-bye: Kenley. The cut of the print kind of screwed her. Whatever - she's still awesome. Love ya, baby!!
So the finale will be Austin, Mondo, and Michael. FABULOUSSSSSS!!!!!!
03 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create an avant-garde look that uses lighting effects, like LED lights, fiber optics, and black light. Pretty cool.
There's a random bit of "Austin's (hot) mom is homeless" drama, because her house has gone into foreclosure like 25% of the rest of America. Not sure what they're going for here, other than it means Austin's getting the boot and we're supposed to feel bad. They might just be desperate for some kind of story.
All of the looks are crazy as shit. Like, Nicki-Minaj-crazy. But they're supposed to be! To me, they're all pretty equally awesome -- except Michael's, which looks like someone from Mortal Kombat -- or perhaps some more recent video game reference. Hey -- guest judge Pharrell Williams uses the same dated reference!
Winner: Austin. Too bad the prize isn't a new home for mommy.
Bye-bye: Jerell. Yeah, I could see that. He had this long black skirt under his dress. Looked better with just the tights under it.
There's a random bit of "Austin's (hot) mom is homeless" drama, because her house has gone into foreclosure like 25% of the rest of America. Not sure what they're going for here, other than it means Austin's getting the boot and we're supposed to feel bad. They might just be desperate for some kind of story.
All of the looks are crazy as shit. Like, Nicki-Minaj-crazy. But they're supposed to be! To me, they're all pretty equally awesome -- except Michael's, which looks like someone from Mortal Kombat -- or perhaps some more recent video game reference. Hey -- guest judge Pharrell Williams uses the same dated reference!
Winner: Austin. Too bad the prize isn't a new home for mommy.
Bye-bye: Jerell. Yeah, I could see that. He had this long black skirt under his dress. Looked better with just the tights under it.
26 February 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Design a dress inspired by a culture and flag at the United Nations.
Jerell - India - waaaaayyyy too literal. It's like an Indian Barbie costume. (And I said that before the host did - bitch stole my line during judging!) It's also a disaster.
Kenley - Chile - it's another adorable mixed-print party dress, but I see no Chile.
Austin - Seychelles (say what?) - worst thing he's done yet.
Mondo - Jamaica - a basic black dress. Because they're black? What?
Mila - Papua New Guinea - ugh - it was a short black dress on one side and a long red dress on the other. Hatred.
Michael - Greece - another way-literal dress. And beauty pageant-y.
Blech. I didn't love any of these at all. UNIMPRESSED!
Winner: Mondo.
Bye-bye: Mila.
Jerell - India - waaaaayyyy too literal. It's like an Indian Barbie costume. (And I said that before the host did - bitch stole my line during judging!) It's also a disaster.
Kenley - Chile - it's another adorable mixed-print party dress, but I see no Chile.
Austin - Seychelles (say what?) - worst thing he's done yet.
Mondo - Jamaica - a basic black dress. Because they're black? What?
Mila - Papua New Guinea - ugh - it was a short black dress on one side and a long red dress on the other. Hatred.
Michael - Greece - another way-literal dress. And beauty pageant-y.
Blech. I didn't love any of these at all. UNIMPRESSED!
Winner: Mondo.
Bye-bye: Mila.
18 February 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Design a dramatic, luxurious look to be featured in the production of Godspell on Broadway. Gayest challenge everrrr!
There's no drama in this one. Unless I missed it whilst updating my Netflix queue, but I don't think so. I hadn't updated my queue in forever. I've had the first disc of Modern Family for a good 6 months; I think it's time to send it back already.
I loved Kenley's mixed prints and great coat. Austin's was meh, but appropriate for the challenge. Mondo blew me away with his look - theatrical but still bohemian and cool and wearable. Mila's was gross. Lame and gaudy and gross.
Winner: Mondo. Yay! For once the judges agree with me!
Bye-bye: Kara. Awww, poor Kara. It wasn't as gross as Mila's, but it still sucked.
There's no drama in this one. Unless I missed it whilst updating my Netflix queue, but I don't think so. I hadn't updated my queue in forever. I've had the first disc of Modern Family for a good 6 months; I think it's time to send it back already.
I loved Kenley's mixed prints and great coat. Austin's was meh, but appropriate for the challenge. Mondo blew me away with his look - theatrical but still bohemian and cool and wearable. Mila's was gross. Lame and gaudy and gross.
Winner: Mondo. Yay! For once the judges agree with me!
Bye-bye: Kara. Awww, poor Kara. It wasn't as gross as Mila's, but it still sucked.
14 February 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Design a sportswear look for a weekend getaway, for an assigned season. It's a head-to-head thing, where the 2 designers working in the same season compete against each other. For pride, I guess.
Jerell accuses Michael of copying his look (cuz he pretty much does). And in Mondo v. Kenley, it's the Battle of the Polka Dots.
Spring - I don't like Austin's high-waisted pants, but I never like high-waisted pants. The model looked old. Kara's is pretty simple, but flowy and cool. Judges' decision: Kara.
Summer - I love both Mondo's and Kenley's. Judges' decision: Kenley. They made Mondo cry, godammit!!!
Autumn - Rami's design was lovely, especially considering I don't think of him as an Autumn sportswear designer. The colors were gross, especially that green. Mila's was cape-y. Judges' decision: Mila. Boo.
Winter - Jerell and Michael really did have similar looks and similar colors and fabrics. Judges' decision: Jerell, but they loved them both.
Winner: Jerell. Well, it's true -- he did finally make something that looked good.
Bye-bye: Rami. Damn, because at first I thought his design was beautiful -- but then the judges pointed out a million things wrong with it. Screw you, judges!
Jerell accuses Michael of copying his look (cuz he pretty much does). And in Mondo v. Kenley, it's the Battle of the Polka Dots.
Spring - I don't like Austin's high-waisted pants, but I never like high-waisted pants. The model looked old. Kara's is pretty simple, but flowy and cool. Judges' decision: Kara.
Summer - I love both Mondo's and Kenley's. Judges' decision: Kenley. They made Mondo cry, godammit!!!
Autumn - Rami's design was lovely, especially considering I don't think of him as an Autumn sportswear designer. The colors were gross, especially that green. Mila's was cape-y. Judges' decision: Mila. Boo.
Winter - Jerell and Michael really did have similar looks and similar colors and fabrics. Judges' decision: Jerell, but they loved them both.
Winner: Jerell. Well, it's true -- he did finally make something that looked good.
Bye-bye: Rami. Damn, because at first I thought his design was beautiful -- but then the judges pointed out a million things wrong with it. Screw you, judges!
03 February 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Find a random muse from the selection of donks in Central Park, and create a fashion-forward look based on them. And the person you pick has to give you the clothes they're wearing. Half of the look has to be made from the clothes themselves. Time to strip down!
I love the guys on this show so badly. Anthony's all, "Hi, hot white guy, I need your shorts!" and has a dude strip down right there in the park. I also love how Michael describes the look he wants as, "Sarah Jessica Parker circa 1999 meets 2002, but futuristic." Way to be very specific, vague, and random at the same time.
I like this Joanna Coles person. I mean, she's no Tim Gunn, but she's like Tim Gunn meets Tilda Swinton. She looks like an ice princess bitch, but is pretty cool.
Jerell makes the weirdest, ugliest outfit known to man. The. Weirdest. Everything else looked good. I loved Rami's, Mondo's, and Kenley's the most.
Sean Avery is the guest judge and who the hell knew that the hockey player was into fashion? Like, doing an internship at Vogue and everything. Anyway, he's largely a dolt, but he does have one good (and very true) line about Jerell's, calling it Lady Gaga and Gwen Stefani at Burning Man on acid.
Winner: Mondo. YAY! First win!!
Bye-bye: Anthony, because he didn't really follow the rules. He didn't use at least 50% of his fabric from his muse, nor did he really get inspiration from her. He was really crazy all challenge, changing his mind 100 times. He ended up making a cute outfit, but was DQ'd. Bye, baby. ILU.
And just for kicks - Jerell's ugly-ass outfit.
I love the guys on this show so badly. Anthony's all, "Hi, hot white guy, I need your shorts!" and has a dude strip down right there in the park. I also love how Michael describes the look he wants as, "Sarah Jessica Parker circa 1999 meets 2002, but futuristic." Way to be very specific, vague, and random at the same time.
I like this Joanna Coles person. I mean, she's no Tim Gunn, but she's like Tim Gunn meets Tilda Swinton. She looks like an ice princess bitch, but is pretty cool.
Jerell makes the weirdest, ugliest outfit known to man. The. Weirdest. Everything else looked good. I loved Rami's, Mondo's, and Kenley's the most.
Sean Avery is the guest judge and who the hell knew that the hockey player was into fashion? Like, doing an internship at Vogue and everything. Anyway, he's largely a dolt, but he does have one good (and very true) line about Jerell's, calling it Lady Gaga and Gwen Stefani at Burning Man on acid.
Winner: Mondo. YAY! First win!!
Bye-bye: Anthony, because he didn't really follow the rules. He didn't use at least 50% of his fabric from his muse, nor did he really get inspiration from her. He was really crazy all challenge, changing his mind 100 times. He ended up making a cute outfit, but was DQ'd. Bye, baby. ILU.
And just for kicks - Jerell's ugly-ass outfit.
31 January 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Design a look inspired by a flavor of gelato. Wow, random challenge is random. I want the chocolate and cayenne pepper gelato badly. Also -- the designers have 6 hours to do their outfit. AHAHAHAHA! They even get a Mini-Mood set up in their building since there's no time to shop. There's some gluing involved, even by Austin. The horror!
It's funny to see Austin working in jeans and a wife beater, isn't it? No matador costume? This could be his boldest outfit choice yet!
I loved Mondo's drapey dress, which looked simple but also very outside of what he usually does. Man, I love Kenley's adorable little dresses. They never get old. April sends out a short-ass purple dress. Kara's model looked like a pregnant cupcake (thank you, Jerell). Jerell finally makes something amazing - loved his and Austin's. Michael made a bathrobe from an old Golden Girls episode, but the judges are cool with that.
Winner: Michael and his bathrobe.
Bye-bye: April. Oh how sad, but seriously, that thing was a mess. I always forget how young she is though - 22! Insane!
It's funny to see Austin working in jeans and a wife beater, isn't it? No matador costume? This could be his boldest outfit choice yet!
I loved Mondo's drapey dress, which looked simple but also very outside of what he usually does. Man, I love Kenley's adorable little dresses. They never get old. April sends out a short-ass purple dress. Kara's model looked like a pregnant cupcake (thank you, Jerell). Jerell finally makes something amazing - loved his and Austin's. Michael made a bathrobe from an old Golden Girls episode, but the judges are cool with that.
Winner: Michael and his bathrobe.
Bye-bye: April. Oh how sad, but seriously, that thing was a mess. I always forget how young she is though - 22! Insane!
21 January 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create a cocktail dress for Miss Piggy. Oh god. I hate The Muppets. I don't think adults should like The Muppets... but I'm aware that I'm outnumbered on this one. I also hate when people talk about Miss Piggy like she's a real person, calling her sexy, etc. She doesn't need comfortable clothes. She's a puppet. When she judges your outfit, she's going to have a guy's hand up her ass. Ugh. DIE. Has she been an inspiration to you your whole life, Austin!? HAS SHE!?
Just when I'm thinking this is the worst challenge ever, that dumb not-Tim-Gunn bitch says it's one of the greatest challenges in the history of ever ever ever. DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!
Austin dresses like goddamned Zorro for the runway judging. And now I'm reminded that I REALLY hate Miss Piggy because she's an unfunny bitch with an awful voice. Kill me now.
None of the designs blew me away, except for Rami's - and even then, I can't decide if it was over-the-top-awful or over-the-top-awesome. Austin's had some awful bows on the hips, Mila's was boring as shit, and Gordana's was a nightgown.
Winner: Michael. But seriously - check out Rami's polka dot dress. I think I love it.
Bye-bye: Gordana and her Russian nightgown nightmare. Imagine being the designer who gets booted for designing for Miss Piggy. Poor thing.
Just when I'm thinking this is the worst challenge ever, that dumb not-Tim-Gunn bitch says it's one of the greatest challenges in the history of ever ever ever. DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!
Austin dresses like goddamned Zorro for the runway judging. And now I'm reminded that I REALLY hate Miss Piggy because she's an unfunny bitch with an awful voice. Kill me now.
None of the designs blew me away, except for Rami's - and even then, I can't decide if it was over-the-top-awful or over-the-top-awesome. Austin's had some awful bows on the hips, Mila's was boring as shit, and Gordana's was a nightgown.
Winner: Michael. But seriously - check out Rami's polka dot dress. I think I love it.
Bye-bye: Gordana and her Russian nightgown nightmare. Imagine being the designer who gets booted for designing for Miss Piggy. Poor thing.
16 January 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create a show-stopping gown for a night at the opera.
There's nothing much to blog about when you already know about the contestants. We're not learning anything new about them. They don't even really talk amongst themselves - they're all business. The only thing I saw was Rami and Anthony leaning against each other on the couch, but I don't think they're doing it. That's just my professional opinion.
Kenley made a pink monstrosity, as Kenley would. I didn't like Gordan's purple thing. Rami's dress was such a bright shade of pink that's all you could see. Sweet P... what the hell? It was like a giant maternity picnic tablecloth. Loved Mondo's, and couture isn't even his thing. Jerell did a damn pregnancy dress too. Michael made a gorgeous beaded, feather-laden thing. April's dress looked like a used tampon.
Winner: Austin. Of course. His dress looked like an Oscar and was pretty constrained for him.
Bye-Bye: Sweet P. Seriously - pregnant picnic table.
Next week involves designing for Miss Piggy. God save me, that's going to be the worst challenge ever.
There's nothing much to blog about when you already know about the contestants. We're not learning anything new about them. They don't even really talk amongst themselves - they're all business. The only thing I saw was Rami and Anthony leaning against each other on the couch, but I don't think they're doing it. That's just my professional opinion.
Kenley made a pink monstrosity, as Kenley would. I didn't like Gordan's purple thing. Rami's dress was such a bright shade of pink that's all you could see. Sweet P... what the hell? It was like a giant maternity picnic tablecloth. Loved Mondo's, and couture isn't even his thing. Jerell did a damn pregnancy dress too. Michael made a gorgeous beaded, feather-laden thing. April's dress looked like a used tampon.
Winner: Austin. Of course. His dress looked like an Oscar and was pretty constrained for him.
Bye-Bye: Sweet P. Seriously - pregnant picnic table.
Next week involves designing for Miss Piggy. God save me, that's going to be the worst challenge ever.
08 January 2012
Project Runway All Stars
So this All Stars season has been in the can for a while. Makes you wonder what took so long to air it, but it was probably just trying to avoid Project Runway exhaustion.
Here's who we get: Mondo (yay!), Michael Costello (yay!), Mila, Anthony (fierce!), Jerell, Elisa (who? oh - the hippie who spits on her clothes), Austin Scarlett (natch), Kenley (my girlfriend whose voice I love to imitate the whole time), Rami, Gordana, Sweet P, April (rocking gray hair!), and Kara.
Who we don't get? Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia. We get some never-heard-of-before-model as host (she sometimes looks like Michelle Monaghan, has a sing-song-y whiny voice, and often needs to clear her damn throat) and a couple designers, including Isaac Mizrahi, as judges. Worst of all: No Tim Gunn. Well now, maybe this is why it sat on the shelf... maybe it sucks. Good thing we know the designers and they're all good personalities -- they're going to need to carry this show.
Gotta love Austin, having his gaygasms anytime he sees a designer he loves. Even Anthony can't out-gay Austin.
Challenge: The unconventional materials challenge -- this time, using materials from a 99-cent store. On the plus side, nearly all of the designs are fierce! Rami and Mondo were particularly amazing and Sweet P and Elisa stunk it up - no shock there.
Winner: Rami. Fab.
Bye-bye: Elisa. I'm surprised it wasn't Sweet P. Bye, crazy!
Here's who we get: Mondo (yay!), Michael Costello (yay!), Mila, Anthony (fierce!), Jerell, Elisa (who? oh - the hippie who spits on her clothes), Austin Scarlett (natch), Kenley (my girlfriend whose voice I love to imitate the whole time), Rami, Gordana, Sweet P, April (rocking gray hair!), and Kara.
Who we don't get? Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia. We get some never-heard-of-before-model as host (she sometimes looks like Michelle Monaghan, has a sing-song-y whiny voice, and often needs to clear her damn throat) and a couple designers, including Isaac Mizrahi, as judges. Worst of all: No Tim Gunn. Well now, maybe this is why it sat on the shelf... maybe it sucks. Good thing we know the designers and they're all good personalities -- they're going to need to carry this show.
Gotta love Austin, having his gaygasms anytime he sees a designer he loves. Even Anthony can't out-gay Austin.
Challenge: The unconventional materials challenge -- this time, using materials from a 99-cent store. On the plus side, nearly all of the designs are fierce! Rami and Mondo were particularly amazing and Sweet P and Elisa stunk it up - no shock there.
Winner: Rami. Fab.
Bye-bye: Elisa. I'm surprised it wasn't Sweet P. Bye, crazy!
29 October 2011
Project Runway: Finale
My love for Project Runway has clearly waned when the finale has passed and I have yet to watch either part of it. I've been able to avoid spoilers, mostly by blowing quickly past the TV-related Google Reader bits.
Kimberly's inspiration is Brooklyn - old-school ghetto Brooklyn, not new hipster douchebag Brooklyn.
Tim visits Anya in Trinidad, and wears a full suit whilst boating. Of course. Her inspiration is Tobago and the sea. She has her fabrics picked out, but nothing resembling actual clothing. Alrighty then.
Viktor, on the other hand, has been working his ass off. His inspiration is Mexico and his brother's death. So it'll be fun, then. Viktor has an adorably whitebread boyfriend.
Last stop: Joshua. He's got crazy fabrics and patterns, natch. It's an awful 80's freakshow. Picture every color imaginable in the brightest shade possible. Oy, I knew he'd bring the tacky. Tim says it makes him want to weep.
Challenge: Present a 3-look preview of your collection. Viktor's stuff was fabulous, Anya's was Anya and very very gold, Kimberly's pink skirt was godawful, and Joshua's was Joshua, starting with those hot pink pants. I guess I'd kick him out, though again - I'd love for him to stick around just for the tackiness. The judges hammer Anya for her construction and some of her accessorizing; they don't love Kimberly's stuff either. I didn't realize that Viktor designed his own prints - that makes his stuff even better! The judges just want him to edit somewhat - they love his crazy jacket, just pair it with something simple, not a dress that's gorgeous on its own. Joshua's needed more editing too, but the judges were largely OK with it. Damn, maybe it'll be one of these girls that doesn't make it!
Bye-bye: No one. Well that was a giant waste of time, show. Can I get those 90 minutes of my life back?
Final "Gift": They get $500 worth of whatever they want from Mood to edit their collection. Anya buys a bunch of new black and white prints to design 3 totally new looks. Joshua gets more bright green and makes something that looks like bicycle shorts. Oy. Joshua has a wonderful exhausted breakdown.
Final Runway: First up is Kimberly and her stuff looks great. I love the flowy dress, as well as her final dress and the white pants outfit. Joshua brings the color. I loved the one striped tank over pants with a jacket - that was different for him and lovely. Those shorts, though? VOMIT. I didn't like his collection at all, but the judges creamed themselves over it. Maybe in comparison to some stuff he's done, but no. Just no. Next up is Viktor, who has made a lot of changes, including adding too much new sheer stuff. Viktor's frst look is outstanding - the dress with the wonderful print on the front. And his white jacket looks so much better paired over some leather pants and a simple black shirt. Yay Viktor! Anya's collection is so different from the others - very Caribbean, very flowy, very Anya - that it almost has to win just because it's unique. She really changed things up, and did her customary last-minute miracle turnaround.
First out is Kimberly. Viktor's out next. Now that's some Grade A bullshit -- clearly Anya's winning because I still think Joshua was the worst! These judges are just dummies.
Winner: Anya. She really did pull it out in the end, like she did most of the season. And I'd say her stuff is the most wearable and sell-able too; I can see it on the red carpets. But Viktor will always have my heart.
Kimberly's inspiration is Brooklyn - old-school ghetto Brooklyn, not new hipster douchebag Brooklyn.
Tim visits Anya in Trinidad, and wears a full suit whilst boating. Of course. Her inspiration is Tobago and the sea. She has her fabrics picked out, but nothing resembling actual clothing. Alrighty then.
Viktor, on the other hand, has been working his ass off. His inspiration is Mexico and his brother's death. So it'll be fun, then. Viktor has an adorably whitebread boyfriend.
Last stop: Joshua. He's got crazy fabrics and patterns, natch. It's an awful 80's freakshow. Picture every color imaginable in the brightest shade possible. Oy, I knew he'd bring the tacky. Tim says it makes him want to weep.
Challenge: Present a 3-look preview of your collection. Viktor's stuff was fabulous, Anya's was Anya and very very gold, Kimberly's pink skirt was godawful, and Joshua's was Joshua, starting with those hot pink pants. I guess I'd kick him out, though again - I'd love for him to stick around just for the tackiness. The judges hammer Anya for her construction and some of her accessorizing; they don't love Kimberly's stuff either. I didn't realize that Viktor designed his own prints - that makes his stuff even better! The judges just want him to edit somewhat - they love his crazy jacket, just pair it with something simple, not a dress that's gorgeous on its own. Joshua's needed more editing too, but the judges were largely OK with it. Damn, maybe it'll be one of these girls that doesn't make it!
Bye-bye: No one. Well that was a giant waste of time, show. Can I get those 90 minutes of my life back?
Final "Gift": They get $500 worth of whatever they want from Mood to edit their collection. Anya buys a bunch of new black and white prints to design 3 totally new looks. Joshua gets more bright green and makes something that looks like bicycle shorts. Oy. Joshua has a wonderful exhausted breakdown.
Final Runway: First up is Kimberly and her stuff looks great. I love the flowy dress, as well as her final dress and the white pants outfit. Joshua brings the color. I loved the one striped tank over pants with a jacket - that was different for him and lovely. Those shorts, though? VOMIT. I didn't like his collection at all, but the judges creamed themselves over it. Maybe in comparison to some stuff he's done, but no. Just no. Next up is Viktor, who has made a lot of changes, including adding too much new sheer stuff. Viktor's frst look is outstanding - the dress with the wonderful print on the front. And his white jacket looks so much better paired over some leather pants and a simple black shirt. Yay Viktor! Anya's collection is so different from the others - very Caribbean, very flowy, very Anya - that it almost has to win just because it's unique. She really changed things up, and did her customary last-minute miracle turnaround.
First out is Kimberly. Viktor's out next. Now that's some Grade A bullshit -- clearly Anya's winning because I still think Joshua was the worst! These judges are just dummies.
Winner: Anya. She really did pull it out in the end, like she did most of the season. And I'd say her stuff is the most wearable and sell-able too; I can see it on the red carpets. But Viktor will always have my heart.
18 October 2011
Project Runway
Challenge: Design 3 looks inspired by something on Governors Island. And the looks have to be different - so not 3 flowy dresses, ANYA! (LOL at Viktor's comment - "Does she even know how to make a sleeve?") They get a pool of assistants to choose from. The pairs are: Kimberly and Becky, Viktor and Olivier, Laura and Anthony Ryan, Anya and Bert, and Joshua and Bryce.
Bryce helps Joshua edit, which can only be a good thing. Joshua is bitchy as hell, especially toward Anya. But mostly, the contestants are all emo about this being SO CLOSE to the end.
Guest Judge: Zoe Saldana. She's seriously the most gorgeous person ever. Love her.
Joshua's skirt was a nightmare, but his other 2 looks were decent, if not boring. I loved Kimberly's coat and the dress was super cute. Anya's black dress - gorgeous. Anya's red tunic/pants - gorgeous. She has amazing taste and I love her. Viktor's looks are all amazing. He's gotta win this thing, right? The judges seem to think he's too commercial. Boo hiss. Everybody's decent, but I think Laura (or Kimberly, if it has to be someone else) should go based on this week alone.
Bye-bye: Laura. OK, good, that's totally how it should have gone.
Finale: Anya, Viktor, Joshua, and Kimberly. I like that Joshua is going because he'll be the total wild card. Meaning his stuff will likely be fugly, and every runway could use some fugly.
Bryce helps Joshua edit, which can only be a good thing. Joshua is bitchy as hell, especially toward Anya. But mostly, the contestants are all emo about this being SO CLOSE to the end.
Guest Judge: Zoe Saldana. She's seriously the most gorgeous person ever. Love her.
Joshua's skirt was a nightmare, but his other 2 looks were decent, if not boring. I loved Kimberly's coat and the dress was super cute. Anya's black dress - gorgeous. Anya's red tunic/pants - gorgeous. She has amazing taste and I love her. Viktor's looks are all amazing. He's gotta win this thing, right? The judges seem to think he's too commercial. Boo hiss. Everybody's decent, but I think Laura (or Kimberly, if it has to be someone else) should go based on this week alone.
Bye-bye: Laura. OK, good, that's totally how it should have gone.
Finale: Anya, Viktor, Joshua, and Kimberly. I like that Joshua is going because he'll be the total wild card. Meaning his stuff will likely be fugly, and every runway could use some fugly.
11 October 2011
Project Runway
Challenge: Create a high-fashion look inspired by an exotic bird. Yawn. It's a Collier Strong challenge, and that burn victim is looking worse than ever!
It's a random pair challenge too: Anya and Laura (Raven), Joshua and Bert (Amazon Parrot), and Viktor and Kimberly (Cockatoo).
And, if those weren't enough twists, it's also a head-to-head challenge where the couples are just judged against each other. And the overall winner gets $20,000 and a L'Oreal advertorial.
Oh guess what - it's still not enough twists. They have to design a second high-fashion look. Seriously - enough with the elements.
Joshua wisely decides to scrap this fugly green and yellow dress he makes, but he unwisely decides to wear a chest-baring shirt.
Kimberly has a rough time - she's moving too slowly, she sews through her finger, there are random grease stains on her fabric. Cue the obligatory breakdown, as Kimberly recounts all the dead people in her life. Tim even hugs the poor depressed girl during her session with him - that's what Tim is there for, y'all! But the world continues to crap on Kimberly - she ruins one of her looks by throwing it onto a hot glue gun that burns a hole through it. Time to make a new look in 3 hours!
TWIST NUMBER FOUR HUNDRED AND FIVE: They only get to show 1 look on the runway. So now they have to murder one of their children, essentially. Project Runway's version of Sophie's Choice -- finally a twist I like. Kimberly sends down her "3-hour gown".
Kimberly's quickie dress is good, but I still like Viktor's better. The judges don't. They stink. Bert's is dull and I love Joshua's amazingly-tasteful orange dress. Seriously - Joshua + Parrot could have been a disaster. Anya's look is all-black and so unlike anything she's ever done -- and it's still fabulous. Laura's pants and jacket are decent enough but boring. The judges side with me on those 2.
Winner: Anya. Well, duh. It was amazing and so different for her. Too bad her models can't get in and out of her dresses without assistance.
Bye-bye: Bert. Well, duh. I had his name typed in before they even announced the winner. You overstayed your welcome, Debbie Downer.
It's a random pair challenge too: Anya and Laura (Raven), Joshua and Bert (Amazon Parrot), and Viktor and Kimberly (Cockatoo).
And, if those weren't enough twists, it's also a head-to-head challenge where the couples are just judged against each other. And the overall winner gets $20,000 and a L'Oreal advertorial.
Oh guess what - it's still not enough twists. They have to design a second high-fashion look. Seriously - enough with the elements.
Joshua wisely decides to scrap this fugly green and yellow dress he makes, but he unwisely decides to wear a chest-baring shirt.
Kimberly has a rough time - she's moving too slowly, she sews through her finger, there are random grease stains on her fabric. Cue the obligatory breakdown, as Kimberly recounts all the dead people in her life. Tim even hugs the poor depressed girl during her session with him - that's what Tim is there for, y'all! But the world continues to crap on Kimberly - she ruins one of her looks by throwing it onto a hot glue gun that burns a hole through it. Time to make a new look in 3 hours!
TWIST NUMBER FOUR HUNDRED AND FIVE: They only get to show 1 look on the runway. So now they have to murder one of their children, essentially. Project Runway's version of Sophie's Choice -- finally a twist I like. Kimberly sends down her "3-hour gown".
Kimberly's quickie dress is good, but I still like Viktor's better. The judges don't. They stink. Bert's is dull and I love Joshua's amazingly-tasteful orange dress. Seriously - Joshua + Parrot could have been a disaster. Anya's look is all-black and so unlike anything she's ever done -- and it's still fabulous. Laura's pants and jacket are decent enough but boring. The judges side with me on those 2.
Winner: Anya. Well, duh. It was amazing and so different for her. Too bad her models can't get in and out of her dresses without assistance.
Bye-bye: Bert. Well, duh. I had his name typed in before they even announced the winner. You overstayed your welcome, Debbie Downer.
02 October 2011
Project Runway
I knew going in that someone really talented got booted, and that Tim Gunn was upset by it, so I'm guessing Bert and Joshua are safe....
Challenge: Design for the 70's-revival trend. Ugh, they just did that with the band - but now for women. And they're supposed to do sophisticated, not literal and retro. Fine - I'll allow it.
During the shopping trip to Mood, Anya loses her money envelope. Jesus - there are cameras everywhere - no one saw anything? That's the biggest dagger on earth -- and if she goes home because of that, it sucks. Anya is able to use whatever the designers have left over - $11.50 and whatever extra fabric they can spare - and muslin. Time to make it work, girl!
Second Part of the Challenge: Design a second, one-piece look for $50.
I hated Kimberly's separates. The jumper was really cute, but was sewn onto her model last-minute - no zipper. Anthony Ryan used some crazy-ass awful-ass prints and his looks were fugly and I thought more 60's than 70's. Nina said his girl looked like she was in a cult. Zing! (And accurate.) Bert's hot pants were gross, but the top and his second dress were adorable. Joshua's hot pink top with plaid pants made me vomit -- ugliest thing ever. Anya and Viktor were both really good. Laura's prints were really gross together; I liked her second look, but could see how it was boring.
Winner: Anya. Holy crap - and with virtually no money! She rules! Even if everything she makes is printed and flowy, it's always awesome.
Bye-bye: Anthony Ryan. OK, so that sucks because I loved him, but these looks are fugly as hell, so it's not unwarranted. Cult indeed.
Challenge: Design for the 70's-revival trend. Ugh, they just did that with the band - but now for women. And they're supposed to do sophisticated, not literal and retro. Fine - I'll allow it.
During the shopping trip to Mood, Anya loses her money envelope. Jesus - there are cameras everywhere - no one saw anything? That's the biggest dagger on earth -- and if she goes home because of that, it sucks. Anya is able to use whatever the designers have left over - $11.50 and whatever extra fabric they can spare - and muslin. Time to make it work, girl!
Second Part of the Challenge: Design a second, one-piece look for $50.
I hated Kimberly's separates. The jumper was really cute, but was sewn onto her model last-minute - no zipper. Anthony Ryan used some crazy-ass awful-ass prints and his looks were fugly and I thought more 60's than 70's. Nina said his girl looked like she was in a cult. Zing! (And accurate.) Bert's hot pants were gross, but the top and his second dress were adorable. Joshua's hot pink top with plaid pants made me vomit -- ugliest thing ever. Anya and Viktor were both really good. Laura's prints were really gross together; I liked her second look, but could see how it was boring.
Winner: Anya. Holy crap - and with virtually no money! She rules! Even if everything she makes is printed and flowy, it's always awesome.
Bye-bye: Anthony Ryan. OK, so that sucks because I loved him, but these looks are fugly as hell, so it's not unwarranted. Cult indeed.
29 September 2011
Project Runway
I totally slept on having last week's Project Runway to catch up on! Bad fan!
Challenge: Design looks for a scruffy, unsigned rock band (of men) to be featured in Rolling Stone. It's a team challenge with two teams of 4 so each team member designs for 1 band member -- 1. Olivier, Viktor, Kimberly, Joshua; 2. Bert, Anya, Laura, and Anthony. But even though it's a team challenge, it's not like they're sharing looks or have a leader or need to make a cohesive collection, so there aren't the same stresses that usually come with a team challenge.
The lengthy Garnier hair consultations are sooooo shoehorned in. The guys all have long hair, but let's be honest - they're all going to have the usual guys' hairstyle. No one's doing bouffants or braids. Wait - I take that back. Bert's dude got braids. Oy.
Olivier does a lot of whining about his client being fat. A lot. Everything's looking really blousy and ugly, but especially Olivier's. Oy. Instead of a runway, the band performs in each of their outfits.
The outfits are 60s/70s-looking, Halloween-costumey things; far too literal. They're largely fugly and really only Laura's and Viktor's are passable. Anya's and Kimberly's tops both crapped the bed in a big way. What a crappy challenge - design for scruffy, outdated, schlubby guys. Worst. Outfits. Ever. What really sucks is that someone's going to have to go home for this and if it's Anya or Kimberly I'll cry.
Winner: Viktor. Yay because I love him. But I thought that was waaaaay too much fringe.
Bye-Bye: Olivier. Thank GOD!! Because let's face it - he's lame and it was almost Kimberly and I would have DIED. She had the worst outfit, but she's always awesome. Outside of faux-70s menswear.
Challenge: Design looks for a scruffy, unsigned rock band (of men) to be featured in Rolling Stone. It's a team challenge with two teams of 4 so each team member designs for 1 band member -- 1. Olivier, Viktor, Kimberly, Joshua; 2. Bert, Anya, Laura, and Anthony. But even though it's a team challenge, it's not like they're sharing looks or have a leader or need to make a cohesive collection, so there aren't the same stresses that usually come with a team challenge.
The lengthy Garnier hair consultations are sooooo shoehorned in. The guys all have long hair, but let's be honest - they're all going to have the usual guys' hairstyle. No one's doing bouffants or braids. Wait - I take that back. Bert's dude got braids. Oy.
Olivier does a lot of whining about his client being fat. A lot. Everything's looking really blousy and ugly, but especially Olivier's. Oy. Instead of a runway, the band performs in each of their outfits.
The outfits are 60s/70s-looking, Halloween-costumey things; far too literal. They're largely fugly and really only Laura's and Viktor's are passable. Anya's and Kimberly's tops both crapped the bed in a big way. What a crappy challenge - design for scruffy, outdated, schlubby guys. Worst. Outfits. Ever. What really sucks is that someone's going to have to go home for this and if it's Anya or Kimberly I'll cry.
Winner: Viktor. Yay because I love him. But I thought that was waaaaay too much fringe.
Bye-Bye: Olivier. Thank GOD!! Because let's face it - he's lame and it was almost Kimberly and I would have DIED. She had the worst outfit, but she's always awesome. Outside of faux-70s menswear.
19 September 2011
Project Runway
Challenge: Menswear! And some of the men are pigs! But it's a fake-out! The men aren't the models -- their wives/girlfriends are -- and the men are collaborating with the designers. The fake-out was lame; what else makes this such a different challenge? We get to find out how much guys-we-don't-know know about chicks-we-don't-know? Who cares. A guy actually called his chick "a hot piece of tushie." Jesus Christ.
I hate real people -- as models and clients. They're obnoxious, chatty, think they know all about fashion, and think they're funny. Olivier's couple is particularly awful. It's not like the clients have anything on the line, other than their fat asses walking down the runway....
Viktor's look was perfection and really fit his quirky chick's look. Joshua's dress was amazing - and totally unadorned, which for him is a miracle. There's a case where the client was actually helpful - he wanted to put mirrored squares on the thing. Joshua stinks. Learn to edit! Anya's flowy dress was its usual gorgeous self.
Winner: Joshua! Fabulous - the back of that dress was really lovely and his girl looked great. I'm going to include a picture of Viktor's too just because it was so damn adorable.
Bye-bye: Bryce. His chick wanted the pink, so she got the pink. I didn't think it was awful, but it was between him and Anthony Ryan, so I'm cool.
I hate real people -- as models and clients. They're obnoxious, chatty, think they know all about fashion, and think they're funny. Olivier's couple is particularly awful. It's not like the clients have anything on the line, other than their fat asses walking down the runway....
Viktor's look was perfection and really fit his quirky chick's look. Joshua's dress was amazing - and totally unadorned, which for him is a miracle. There's a case where the client was actually helpful - he wanted to put mirrored squares on the thing. Joshua stinks. Learn to edit! Anya's flowy dress was its usual gorgeous self.
Winner: Joshua! Fabulous - the back of that dress was really lovely and his girl looked great. I'm going to include a picture of Viktor's too just because it was so damn adorable.
Bye-bye: Bryce. His chick wanted the pink, so she got the pink. I didn't think it was awful, but it was between him and Anthony Ryan, so I'm cool.
03 September 2011
Project Runway
Challenge: Collaborate with art school kids to create an avant garde look inspired by the kids' artwork. The art kids are adorable (some quiet and shy, some won't shut up) and amazing artists.
Bert must be back on his meds because he's hella upbeat - for Bert. "It's a tough challenge and we're all doing the best we can." Cheerleader Bert is weird. Olivier glues his dress onto his model. Has he not heard of double-stick tape? Tim catches him and makes him take off the glue - it's cheating because it means his dress has construction problems. We might get tit on the runway!!
Kimberly's feathery look was very cool. Olivier's was lame, and even lamer - no tit. Bert made some horrid clown costume with giant high-waisted pants. Shudder. Laura's fluttery look was gorgeous. Josh C. made a trashy, rejected costume from Twilight. Anya's was crazy and amazing. I couldn't believe Kimberly and Anya were just in the middle.
Winner: Anthony Ryan. I thought his dress looked a little too glued-on, but I love him.
Bye-bye: Josh C. Yeah, it never works out when rejected contestants get a second chance. You were rejected for a reason.
Bert must be back on his meds because he's hella upbeat - for Bert. "It's a tough challenge and we're all doing the best we can." Cheerleader Bert is weird. Olivier glues his dress onto his model. Has he not heard of double-stick tape? Tim catches him and makes him take off the glue - it's cheating because it means his dress has construction problems. We might get tit on the runway!!
Kimberly's feathery look was very cool. Olivier's was lame, and even lamer - no tit. Bert made some horrid clown costume with giant high-waisted pants. Shudder. Laura's fluttery look was gorgeous. Josh C. made a trashy, rejected costume from Twilight. Anya's was crazy and amazing. I couldn't believe Kimberly and Anya were just in the middle.
Winner: Anthony Ryan. I thought his dress looked a little too glued-on, but I love him.
Bye-bye: Josh C. Yeah, it never works out when rejected contestants get a second chance. You were rejected for a reason.
28 August 2011
Project Runway
Challenge: Run around a track and the top 4 runners become the captains of teams of 3 to design 3 looks to go with Heidi Klum's sneakers. But not before Cecilia and her whiny face quit. Bye-bye, pissy bitch.
It's pretty great watching designers run. They look ridiculous, and Olivier falls halfway through and has a panic attack during medical treatment. Jesus Christ, people, keep living up to stereotypes.
The teams break down like this:
Joshua - Anya and Becky
Bryce - Kimberly and Danielle
Anthony Ryan - Laura and Bert
Viktor - Olivier. Since the quitter quit, Viktor gets to choose an ousted contestant to come back and join the competition. My bald Joshua is coming back!
The teams generally struggle and Bert is his usual Debbie Downer self. Joshua calls Becky's design aesthetic dowdy and she walks out of the workroom and bawls her eyes out in the bathroom. You see, the designers have to work through the night - til 4 AM - so things are even testier than normal. Bert is so. damn. bitchy!
Viktor's look is amazing, and his team's collection is the best. Bryce's dress is hella cute. Anthony Ryan and Laura's looks are red-hot messes, but Bert's wasn't nearly as bad. Joshua's team's looks were ugly, but not disasters. On the whole, there's not much to love.
There's loads of bitching on the runway, especially between Bert and Anthony Ryan. Anthony Ryan has a lot of damn nerve -- his outfit is fugly as hell. If it looked great, he'd have more room to criticize Bert's. His drape-y shorts gave his model cameltoe and camelbutt. Bert is downright joyful when the judges say his is the best of the team's and slam Laura and Anthony Ryan.
Winner: Viktor. Yay! I love him and that look was awesome. Joshua's named a winner too, but mostly for Anya's maxi dress. Which he ruined by putting that stripe down the middle. Blech.
Bye-bye: Danielle. It came down to her and Anthony Ryan, but they booted her because he at least showed promise in the past. I think that's BS. I mean, I love me some Anthony Ryan, but if the producers/judges had balls, they would have kicked him out. Heh. Balls. Unintentional pun about Anthony Ryan and his testicular cancer.
It's pretty great watching designers run. They look ridiculous, and Olivier falls halfway through and has a panic attack during medical treatment. Jesus Christ, people, keep living up to stereotypes.
The teams break down like this:
Joshua - Anya and Becky
Bryce - Kimberly and Danielle
Anthony Ryan - Laura and Bert
Viktor - Olivier. Since the quitter quit, Viktor gets to choose an ousted contestant to come back and join the competition. My bald Joshua is coming back!
The teams generally struggle and Bert is his usual Debbie Downer self. Joshua calls Becky's design aesthetic dowdy and she walks out of the workroom and bawls her eyes out in the bathroom. You see, the designers have to work through the night - til 4 AM - so things are even testier than normal. Bert is so. damn. bitchy!
Viktor's look is amazing, and his team's collection is the best. Bryce's dress is hella cute. Anthony Ryan and Laura's looks are red-hot messes, but Bert's wasn't nearly as bad. Joshua's team's looks were ugly, but not disasters. On the whole, there's not much to love.
There's loads of bitching on the runway, especially between Bert and Anthony Ryan. Anthony Ryan has a lot of damn nerve -- his outfit is fugly as hell. If it looked great, he'd have more room to criticize Bert's. His drape-y shorts gave his model cameltoe and camelbutt. Bert is downright joyful when the judges say his is the best of the team's and slam Laura and Anthony Ryan.
Winner: Viktor. Yay! I love him and that look was awesome. Joshua's named a winner too, but mostly for Anya's maxi dress. Which he ruined by putting that stripe down the middle. Blech.
Bye-bye: Danielle. It came down to her and Anthony Ryan, but they booted her because he at least showed promise in the past. I think that's BS. I mean, I love me some Anthony Ryan, but if the producers/judges had balls, they would have kicked him out. Heh. Balls. Unintentional pun about Anthony Ryan and his testicular cancer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)