30 June 2011

SYTYCD: Results

The group number is a terribly complex little routine choreographed by some unknown dude. It looked hard and was forgettable.

Cat's looking a mess, with whore eye-makeup, some pink thing in her hair, and some giant colorful bird Bedazzled on to her neck, like instead of a necklace it's a rhinestone tattoo. She even has some random braid in her hair. With Cat, it's either GORGEOUS or HOT MESS - no in-between - and tonight it's HOT MESS.

Bottom Three:

Ashley and Chris - his solo was pretty cool
Miranda and Robert - her solo was really good
Caitlynn and Mitchell - she was good and he was just alright

I'd send home Ashley and Mitchell. But I'm just pissed we still have Jess.

The guest dance performance was a couple where the dude was in a wheelchair. I tried not to gawk. Or laugh. Then we got another one (no musical guest! yay!) which was some super-strong dude and old-looking chick it was really acrobatic. Crazy partnering.

Bye-bye: Robert and Miranda. HOLY CRAP! They just got done saying she was the most improved girl! I'm fine with it though, I didn't love her. And he was usually more annoying than not, so that's fine too. They weren't gonna win. Peace out.

29 June 2011

SYTYCD: Performances

Cat's looking fabulous with a wavy little faux-bob and a sparkly flapper dress. God, I'm in love. She looks AMAZING. At one point, when Nigel kissed Mary, Cat said it was like walking in on Mom and Dad. I love Cat so effing much.

Our Guest Judge is Kristin Chenoweth (who I normally can't stand, but Pushing Daisies redeemed her temporarily), plus we get Lil C. If he says "what not" one more time I'll kill him and what not.

Aside from the pair performances, there are 2 group performances. Tyce's half of the dancers did a typical Tyce routine - good but forgettable. The final Dee Caspary routine was much the same. On to the couples.

1. Sasha and Alexander - Contemporary by Dee Caspary. They danced in and around a piano and it was really good. Mostly because Sasha is just incredible to watch.

2. Caitlynn and Mitchell - Samba by Jean-Marc Généreux. Samba's all about the hips, and they were definitely killing it. Mitchell's giant bubble butt was distracting, but I really like Caitlynn.

3. Miranda and Robert - Broadway/Jazz/Who knows the difference by Tyce. It was the usual high-energy, corny Tyce routine. Robert always seems like he's more interested in how he looks than partnering. His face bothers me.

4. Melanie and Marko - Lyrical Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. It's a best-friends-in-love routine. He's crying as it starts and they kiss halfway through it, so you know the 12-year-olds (including me) are going crazy for this. They make a really nice couple, despite the fact that her face is squishy and bothersome.

5. Ashley and Chris - Jazz by Sonya. It was well done, but I agree with Nigel when he said he didn't connect with it. There wasn't a lot of interesting performance there - technically it was cool and sharp, but something was lacking.

6. Clarice and Jess - Foxtrot by Jean-Marc Généreux. It was a non-special foxtrot. He nearly caved under her weight when he lifted her, so that was funny. But otherwise, it was good, but nothing fabulous stood out. The judges worshiped it. They're corny. Whatevs.

7. Ryan and Ricky - Contemporary by Sonya. It was a non-crazy Sonya - has she ever done anything like that before? I don't like it. I didn't feel any kind of emotional connection or performance from them. Boo. The judges creamed themselves over it. It must be a full moon.

8. Jordan and Tadd - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. It was a little trifle of a routine, with one-night-stand connotations that are good for 12-years-olds. Tadd's awesome.

So mostly I'm bothered by Ryan and Jess and want them dead. Or gone. Whichever.

The Challenge: Rivals

It's all about the rivalries, baby! Time to pair up people who hate each other and have hit each other, so that maybe they can do it again! This challenge has, as Robin says, a big group of assholes. Which means it's gong to be A. MAY. ZING.

TJ isn't dead after all, or maybe he is and now Zombie TJ is hosting. I think I'll go with that. Zombie TJ has to do a lot more voiceovers than TJ ever did.

The Teams:
CT and Adam. Cara Maria and Laurel. Johnny and Tyler. Theresa and Camila. Evan and Nehemiah (really, Evan has a rivalry?). Paula and Evelyn. Davis and Tyrie. Jenn and Mandi (barely remember her). Leroy and Adam (from a Real World I didn't watch). Sarah and Katelynn (I've been waiting for her ass to show up on a Challenge!). Ty and Brandon (who?). Jasmine and Jonna (again, something I didn't watch, but it's 2 black chicks - so watch out). Aneesa and Robin. Kenny and Wes.

So a lot of these pairings are actually making sense, but some are forced. Kenny's great for the comedy - he's perfect for this rivalry type of show; he's always doing lots of joning. Plus Evan's there so I expect some good man-on-man action between those two.

The Big Revelations: CT's brother was murdered, so he's a changed man now. Sure, there won't be any unresolved anger issues there. And OMFG Robin has a son???? WHAT!? Poor kid.

Challenge: Tandem long jumps off the edge of a cliff.

Winners: Adam & Leroy and Jonna & Jasmine. Oh snap, son, the new kids won! Everyone else is old and fat. HAHA!

Losers: Evelyn and Paula. Since it's a Women's Elimination this week, they automatically go to The Jungle, and everyone has to deliberate to decide who goes up against them. Everyone pretty quickly decides it'll be Team Fat Ass a/k/a Aneesa and Robin.

Time to let the Pre-Elimination Drunken Debauchery (TM) begin. First makeout: Jasmine and Tyrie, despite her "boyfriend at home". Ty begins his random attacks on people, telling Laurel she's tall and her legs have "hella cellulite". LOFL! Then he tries to fight Unknown Adam. Unknown Adam is a hothead and goes right for him. BOOYAH! First punch: Unknown Adam. In the process, he knocks over Mandi and her head hits the ground. She'll be OK though because she thinks CT is her knight in shining armor (while he's making fun of the size of her head behind her back - LOL). Unknown Adam will continue to be Unknown, as he is kicked off the show before the first episode even ends. He's got a replacement, because they always have to have people on standby in case of punching. Michael joins Leroy. Again, who the hell is he and also he seems to be boys with Leroy - so much for rivals.

The Jungle: Some kind of indescribable thing where each pair is standing on a platform that gets slowly pulled apart. Last team standing wins.

Bye-bye: Robin and Aneesa. Damn, I'll miss having Robin there. Go raise your kid, bitch.

Worst Name Ever

Bear Blu Jarecki. But this kid is pretty damn cute. Lucky him.

28 June 2011

God I Hate Tom Cruise

But this is the only "Tom Cruise movie" I look forward to seeing. Ever. Guess why. Unf.

24 June 2011

SYTYCD: Results

Tonight's episode was brought to you by Jet Blue and DirecTV, while I was en route to New York.

Cat makes some hangover joke that the 12 year olds in the audience hopefully don't get. She's looking amazing in a red dress.

The group number is utterly forgettable and everyone's dressed identically so you can't even tell who's who. Oh god - that was a Dave Scott routine? It sucked.

Bottom Three:

Wadi and Missy - Duh
Iveta and Nick - That's BS but at least we'll see his solo
Ryan and Ricky - Duh

The guest dance performance is Rage Crew - a gang of awesome kids we've seen 100 times but they're still good.

Wadi's bag o' tricks didn't astound me. I'm not sure that what Missy did is legally considered dancing. And Nick? Love. At this point the TV on the plane cut out which is perfect because screw Iveta. Ricky's solo was petty damn good and Ryan's was fine.

Without my trusty DVR, I had to sit through a lip-sync-tastic performance by LMFAO, but at least the dancers were Hok and his team of amazing Asians.

Iveta and Missy. YAY!!!! Wadi and Nick. BOO!!! I'm sad my white boy's gone, but Ricky's solo really was freaking good, so I'll allow it.

22 June 2011

SYTYCD: Performances

So here we are, once again with 20 dancers. Let's see if the results are any different this time. Our Guest Judge is Debbie Reynolds. She has nothing to contribute to this show. I mean, I'm not gonna hate, the old bitch had some cute old-lady things to say, but nothing of substance. I should just be glad she kept it brief. Hella brief.

1. Ryan and Ricky - Jazz by Mandy Moore. It was a weird routine, in that it felt less like dancing and more like striking poses. To me anyway. But it was Jazz set to Robert Palmer, so I guess that's what it was supposed to be. Ryan disturbs me because she looks 35, but I think she's only 18. She also appears to be 8 feet tall.

2. Caitlynn and Mitchell - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey - to "Turning Tables" by Adele. When I first heard that album I was like, there are 100 songs on this thing that will be used on SYTYCD. It was a really pretty routine - he hit her in the nose early on and so the blood on her nose was distracting, but kind of cool too, fitting the dramatic dance. I rewound this one to watch again.

3. Missy and Wadi - Cha Cha by Jean-Marc Généreux. Lots of Missy Vamping while B-Boy Wadi just kind of stood there. And I could tell that he was being lazy with his arms, and if I could tell, then you know it was bad.

4. Iveta and Nick - Bollywood by the Indian Dude. It was lightning-fast, a really hard routine. The kind where they got out of sync a couple times and you could really see the struggle on their faces. They looked like they were really working. They did really well, but if you looked at their faces you could see the concentration vs. just seeing the fun.

5. Miranda and Robert - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon - to some classic Busta Rhymes. He absolutely owned the routine. She looked like she was working, but she was good. He was just hella smooth.

6. Clarice and Jess - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey. Little Jess had to execute a lot of lifts. There's a struggle there. Clarice seems to be a lovely dancer, which you could really see when they were dancing separately, but Jess has zero charisma/appeal and so as partners they suck. Ugh.

7. Jordan and Tadd - Viennese Waltz by Jean-Marc Généreux. It was really lovely and wonderful!!! Just one of those delightful flowy dances, with some great lifts too. Tadd's a B-Boy and he was amazing!! He definitely put Wadi to shame. I knew one of my Asians was gonna be a sleeper this year!

8. Melanie and Marko - Jazz by Mandy Moore. It was kind of a classic Jazz routine, with hats and everything. Marko lost his hat once, but got it back nicely. I think they make a nice pair and I really like how both of them dance.

9. Sasha and Alexander - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. Another soldier-back-from-war piece. Oh, but this show loves to be topical, what with Obama's speech and all. Stop bringing up politics, I'm trying to enjoy dancing. Sasha is a really fierce dancer, and I look forward to her doing a lot more - and with a less-annoying partner. She was great and is a great actress. They made Debbie and Mary cry.

10. Ashley and Chris - Broadway by Spencer Liff. There are prison bars involved. He stood out to me more than she did, but damn can that girl kick. It was a good routine and they did well.

I'm traveling tomorrow, and if everything goes to plan I'll be watching the Results Show from my seat on Jet Blue.

17 June 2011

Green Lantern

I don't even know what to say.

Honestly, I wanted to just write, "That. Effing. Sucked."

Here -- let me offer Mike's review: "It was alright. I hope it makes a lot of money so they can make another one and improve it."

If you know Mike, that's the equivalent of the Worst. Movie. Ever.

OK. So. Green Lantern. I guess from the beginning I was worried I wouldn't like it. Because of it being so alien and about outer space and not based in realism. But then I saw Thor. I had the same worries about Thor and it turned out fine. And I mean, come on - Ryan Reynolds! He's hot and snarky - gotta love him.


Dialogue? Atrocious. "Plot"? Nonexistent. Character development? Zippy. No, really, the dialogue was so awful it was cringe-worthy. Corny (and NOT corny in a self-aware way, just plain bad) and stilted and lifeless. The whole movie was joyless. I think that sums it up. Look, they're not all gonna be The Dark Knight, but at least be entertaining. If I were the kind of person who would walk out of a movie, I would have left this one. It's that horrid.

I'm disappointed. I was hoping it would be decent. But if you see one movie about an intergalactic corps of aliens that save the universe starring Ryan Reynolds, make it Super 8.

16 June 2011

SYTYCD: Results

The opening performance was an obvious Sonya and obviously amazing.

Mitchell's still sitting his injured ass in the audience.

Bottom 3:

Jordan and Tadd - Well, that's kind of bullcrap, but someone has to be in the bottom and they're all pretty damn good.

Clarice and Jess - There is a god!!! Thank you, Jesus.

Miranda and Robert - That's totally fair as well. So YAY! America rules tonight!

For the professional performance we got more crummy Russian folk dancing by some crummy Russian dude. Please die and bring on the hip hop!

Random Observation of the Night: Melanie's eyes are really close together.

Miranda was the only girl who tried in her solo, and Tadd killed in his.

In an unprecedented move, Nigel asks 2 boys to dance solos again: Mitchell and Robert. I don't see the point, since they dance the exact same things they did before. Hey Nigel, get a DVR and just rewind the damn thing! Seems like a pointless bit of "controversy" and stalling to me. Nigel continues to stall by going through the girls and then putting off that decision too. Jesus Christ, now I'm getting pissed off.

Bye-bye: No one.

OK, look, I like this show but that's effing retarded. There are too many people here already -- START CUTTING!!! So 4 people go home next week. STUPID. Not to mention, the show went long so the DVR cut it off.

I'm pissed, show. I'm pissed. And also lame.

15 June 2011

SYTYCD: Performances

Guest Judge: Megan Mullally, which is random, but she danced a little back in the day and loves the show.

First Injury of the Season: Mitchell injured his elbow. Oh Jesus, they're already starting to drop? After last season, I expect this one to turn deadly.

1. Jordan and Tadd - African Jazz by Sean Cheesman. It was a typically quirky, high-energy routine and they partnered really well together.

2. Sasha and Alexander - Contemporary by Travis Wall. It was a typically amazing Travis Wall routine. Sasha has a really strong, commanding presence - she's a good actor. I loved it!

3. Clarice and Jess - Broadway by Tyce. Oh great. I hate Jess and I hate Broadway. It was just as I expected - fine, forgettable, and annoying. Jess + Showtunes = FML.

4. Ryan and Ricky - Lyrical Hip Hop by Christopher Scott, my New Favorite Choreographer. She's a white chick, so she was alright (and way too smiley), but I thought Ricky was hella smooth.

5. Caitlynn and Mitchell - Jazz by Sonya. Well, no wonder Mitchell was injured. Sonya's tough. So Robert from last season is back! YAY HOTTIE ROBERT!!! Caitlynn was really good - I like her a lot. And I know Robert was 1000 times better than Mitchell would have been. Cuz he's freaking HOT.

6. Miranda and Robert - Latin by Jason Gilkison. Oh god they're both annoying. It was a weird-ass routine. 60's vibe, pop music, but was supposed to be Latin. It looked like the damn jive. I don't know what it was, but I know it annoyed me. Ugh, Robert has a catch phrase. I officially hate him. Nigel wasn't as impressed as the other judges were either. Nigel's usually right.

7. Missy and Wadi - Jazz by Sean Cheeseman. I love Wadi but Missy's one of those "sexy" ones. It was a really fast, aggressive routine. I thought they were great together.

8. Melanie and Marko - Contemporary by Travis Wall. Wow, the routine was great and they are both really strong dancers. Probably my favorite pair!!! And I say this in spite of the highly literal statue costumes.

9. Ashley and Chris - Hip hop by Christopher Scott. I would have preferred it if they hadn't done the routine to "Forget You" - far too cheery and upbeat for me. It was pretty good. But I feel a bit betrayed by my New Favorite Choreographer. I want something harder! (TWSS) I foresee a controversy about the fact that it looked like Chris was emulating a school shooting. Seriously. Americans are that sensitive.

10. Iveta and Nick - Ballroom by Jason Gilkison. No. No No NO! That old bitch is gonna be paired with MY MAN!? And they're dancing Ballroom? NO! I just watched him the whole time, since I assumed she would be excellent (she's the Quickstep Champion or some crap). He was great! Maybe having the tap background helped with the quick footwork? But the fact that he handled the choreography was amazing. I guess I should like Iveta for not ruining him.

All in all, I'd like to say goodbye to Jess. Please.

14 June 2011

SYTYCD: CliffsNotes Version

So I've been a little caught up in catching up on Breaking Bad. As a result, So You Think You Can Dance (and everything else in life, really) suffers. Truthfully, the auditions were never my favorite part anyway - they just add up to a lot of time wasted on dancers who suck or dancers you'll never see again. Once I had a good 5 or 6 hours of them backed up on the ol' DVR, I knew there was no way I was going to sit through them.

So instead, I'm starting with the episode where the Top 20 are chosen. They're the only dancers who will matter anyway, and lord knows they love to recap on this show, so I'll see enough background. Let's go!

Wait - Mary Murphy has blonde hair!? I missed a LOT!

They're mixing in performances with the Top 20 announcement this year. (Also, they're going to bring in All-Stars once there's a Top 10. Yay!) I like this CliffsNotes version - just get right to the good stuff!

First impressions

Contemporary dancers:

1. Ricky - is awesome
2. Miranda - annoys me
3. Sasha - shocker they picked her and not her fat sister
4. Melanie

They performed a really lovely routine, and I liked all of them. So let's hope Miranda keeps her mouth shut.

Hip hop dancers:

5. Chris
6. Wadi
7. Tadd
8. Robert

I love me some hip hop. Shocker - I loved the Asian guy, Tadd. Wadi seemed really good too. And I'm reminded how much I rely on this show for exposure to awesome music - that Swizz Beatz jam was the truth.

Our sole Ballroom dancer:

9. Iveta - Goddamn, I hate me some Russian ballroom dancers. I remember this chick from previous years' auditions. She annoys me. And she's old and weathered as balls. (So old, in fact, that she's hitting the age limit for the show.) Worse yet - PASHA'S back to pair with her since there are no other ballroom dancers. Oh Christ, this skeevy dude again.... I already hate her most - and can't imagine the douchechills when she performs hip hop. Let's see if I'm wrong.

Jazz dancers:

10. Clarice - she's adorable and I love her
11. Marko - Asian AND a bullet lodged in his shoulder? Love him.
12. Jordan - might be too "I'm sexy" for me; we'll see
13. Missy - oh, I'm sorry, SHE'S "the sexy one". Oy.

Their routine was awesome. I thought they were all good, but it was also a Sonya Tayeh routine and they're always amazing.

Misc. dancers:

14. Nick - tap dancer - I'm in love
15. Jess - Broadway dancer - annoys me

The routine was fun but Jess is hammy as shit. Nick, on the other hand, has SOMETHING and damn but I hope he's the one this year who you don't expect to be versatile but ends up being amazing at everything. I don't even usually like tap dancers, but he has a presence. For a white boy.

More contemporary dancers:

16. Caitlynn - cute, and Nigel loves her so she's probably cool
17. Ashley
18. Mitchell
19. Alexander - they picked him over someone who looked hot as hell. I hate you.
20. Ryan - I remember her from last year

They were all great in a beautiful Travis Wall routine.

Now it's time for some bonus group routines! YAYYYYYY!

All the guys do hip hop. The routine was epic and hot. I'm in love with this choreographer, Chris Scott. He mixes styles and he's amazing. Love him so much and hope he does every episode!

All of the girls do a Sonya Tayeh routine - wow, they are really starting them all off working hard this year! Beautiful and twisted, as always.

The final Top 20 Tyce routine is good, but seems to be channeling Sonya. Better that than the usual Tyce crap I guess. There are too many people in those huge routines. I tried to keep my eye on my white boy, and I think he did pretty well.

Nice group of dancers this year! I'm excited! But I hope this Robin chick isn't a permanent judge - her plastic face is so hard to look at. Orange Mary Murphy is enough for me.

11 June 2011

Super 8

I was feeling skeptical about Super 8 going in to it. I was worried about comparisons to E.T., I thought it was set in the 60s, and thought it might be more of a children's film. Luckily, I was all wrong.

It's set in 1979 and is a monster movie through and through. Yeah, it focuses on a group of precocious kids, but I surprisingly didn't find them annoying. They were your typical little ragtag group of kids. They even have the funny fat kid, who was freaking identical to the fat kids from Home Alone and The Goonies. Do they have some factory where they make them? I mean, the Home Alone kid is probably 40 by now, it couldn't have been him, right?

Anyway, following an epically-awesome massive train crash (it's the Train Crash of the Year!), something escapes. I was surprised at how far they took it, and that they made it genuinely scary. Loved that. Also, I'm a sucker for the usual overdose of J.J. Abrams lens flares -- love them. All in all, a great, fun film - and not too sappy!!

05 June 2011

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class was awesome!

It's the kind of real superhero movie I like where it's grounded in reality, with people discovering special abilities and becoming superheroes. I also like that it's set against real history - Nazis, the Cuban Missile Crisis. And the 60s setting means people get to say "groovy" and wear miniskirts.

Michael Fassbender is a freaking god and is amazing as Magneto. Magneto has the best power because he gets to flick his wrist and make things happen. Cool, sudden arm and hand movements get me, what can I say. They just look cool. He's definitely badass.

Everybody's really good in it actually. I mean, I generally have a disdain for January Jones, and even she gets a pass from me here. There are 2 cameos from people we've come to know in the other X-Men movies that are pretty cool.

It's a good time and if you're like me you spend the whole movie waiting for Professor X and Magneto to makeout. No? Just me? OK then, you'll still enjoy it.