Happy Anniversary

Nearly 3 years ago, I wrote this post about hating Phil Simms.  It was simple, yet powerful.  It continues to get comments randomly, including today.  God bless all the Phil Simms haters out there.  It's as true today as it ever was.  (It also features some mighty fine artwork.)

TGIF

Thank God It's Football!

God Needed A Mediocre Quarterback

R.I.P. Stevie Mac. He was up to something fishy, I'll bet.

Former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was killed in a shooting in Nashville, Tennessee, authorities said Saturday.

Steve McNair, 36, spent 13 seasons in the NFL, the majority with the Tennessee Titans.

Police said they found McNair and a woman shot to death in a Nashville residence after receiving a phone call about an injured person.

The woman has been tentatively identified, but her name is not being released, authorities said.

A law enforcement source close to the investigation said the woman is McNair's girlfriend and that the residence is her condominium in downtown Nashville.

Witnesses said he was a frequent visitor there.

They could not provide details as to the circumstances of the shooting.

McNair, 36, spent 13 seasons in the NFL, the majority with the Tennessee Titans, before announcing his retirement in April 2008. He spent his last two seasons with Baltimore Ravens and he was the NFL's co-MVP in 2003.

source

DAGGER!

The bad news. Thanks for the season, thanks for a good game in Miami, but ultimately thanks for nothing.


The good news. The Ravens loss was clearly a karmic slap for my excessive rejoicing at Philly's defeat.


The yummy news.

EPIC BATTLE TODAY

Sure, the Ravens are playing the Steelers today for a spot in the Super Bowl. But there's an even bigger battle to be fought, and it's on the sidelines.

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXY COACHES!!!




Check 'em out, folks. In a battle like this, we all win.

Nice Cross-Promotion, FOX

This is The Observer from Fringe standing on the sidelines of the Eagles/Giants game, right? I'm not seeing things?

Awesome.

OH SHIT SON!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!!!!! THAT GAME WAS TOO EFFING CLOSE BUT SO EFFING GOOD!

I was laughing/crying/biting myself through that last quarter.

A.
May.
Zing.

MAJOR PWNAGE

DO IT FOR ME, GUYS!

As my friend Chris said, I'll be in the "Make a Wish" section. Pleeeeeeeeease! I need to have 2009 off to a good start!

GO RAVENS!!!!

Up Yours, Life!!

I'm going to the game! I'm renting a wheelchair and going to the game!

Now I need purple tinsel for my RoboLeg....

The Biggest Dagger in the History of Daggers

GO RAVENS! I mean seriously. The Ravens made the playoffs! Awesome! Tony Romo was practically crying because the Eagles handed him his ass! Awesome!

Next week: the Ravens play in Miami. NOT AWESOME!!! I'm disabled!!! I can't go!!! Do they have handicapped tickets!?

B&C Football Player of the Week

It takes a real man to accidentally shoot yourself. Donkey of the Week material right here.

Giants receiver Plaxico Burress has retained New York defense attorney Ben Brafman to represent him after the ninth-year veteran accidentally shot himself in the thigh Friday night at a Manhattan night club.

Giants general manager Jerry Reese said Sunday that he had yet to speak to Burress. "I reached out to him," Reese said. "I did not get a return phone call."

Burress, who was out Friday night with Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce, was treated overnight and released from a New York hospital on Saturday afternoon.

According to an NFL official, the bullet went through the skin and muscle tissue of Burress' right thigh and did not hit any major arteries, and that there were no broken bones.

NFL handgun policy prohibits players carrying weapons on NFL premises and NFL-related functions. It also prohibits any player having a gun without a proper permit or registration.

If Burress or Pierce are found to have broken the law, those offenses would subject them to penalties under the league's personal conduct policy.

I Hate Phil Simms

If he mispronounces one more word I am going to throw my television out of the window.

And how funny was it early in the game when he told a story and Jim Nantz told the same story one second later? BOTCHED LISTENING! Even Nantzy can't listen to him speak.

Thank God for the Reids

Best Sports Family Ever!

Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's son was sent to state prison after admitting he smuggled 89 prescription pills into a county jail. Garrett Reid pleaded guilty to drug smuggling charges on Wednesday and faces a minimum of two years in state prison.

Reid is already serving time in the county jail for a heroin-fueled car crash that injured a motorist. Jail officials say he smuggled the pills inside when he surrendered last fall, just before his guilty plea to crash-related charges.

Another son, Britt Reid, 23, is in a county drug-court program after pleading guilty that same day to separate drug and gun charges.

source

Reid went into the home, got the pills and put them into two small plastic bags before stuffing them in his rectum and then went back to the probation offices.

You've got to love the man's commitment. 89 pills is a lot to stuff into your rectum, trust me.

more detailed, hotter source

There Goes My Trip to Lambeau

What's Lambeau without Favre? BOO!

The Green Bay Packers announced Tuesday morning on their website that Brett Favre will retire after 17 record-setting seasons.

"Brett Favre has informed us of his intention to retire from the Green Bay Packers and the NFL," Packers general manager Ted Thomson said in a statement on the website. "He has had one of the greatest careers in the history of the National Football League, and he is able to walk away from the game on his own terms -- not many players are able to do that.

The Little Twerp Did It!

Eli Manning, you have earned my respect. I shall pronounce it Elijah from here on out!

He really came through in the end, after a boring first half. Wow. When he got away from that sack and Tyree caught that ball (with the tips of his fingers, clutching it to his helmet, holding onto it while falling straight backwards)... amazing. Then Burress finally shows up when it matters for the game-winning touchdown. That was a great last quarter.

Add to it the sexy officiating of Mike Carey and it was almost perfect!

This Dork Isn't Going to Beat the Patriots

OK, so I just found out what Eli Manning's full first name is. I think they want us to pronounce it "Elijah" but I'm no fool. His name is Elisha. Last time I checked, that's a girl's name and it's pronounced "Eleesha". Eli Manning = Elisha Cuthbert.

Due to this new information, I have my Super Bowl prediction:

Patriots 27 - Giants 10.

It Wasn't a Dream?

Last night's game was agony. God hates the Packers. I can't think of another explanation. Unless he just hates me and every team I pick. Now I have my Sundays back, and I couldn't care less about the Super Bowl.

It's a beautiful 70-degree day today and I have off work so I decided to try to cheer myself up with a walk to Starbucks. A soy sugar-free mocha and suddenly all seems right in the world. Me love you long time, Starbucks.

Ron Burgundy Was Right

Go F yourself, San Diego.

P.S.: When did Terry Bradshaw turn into the crypt keeper? Being out of the studio does him no favors!

Go Pack Go!

Yeah baby! 42-20! Brett was on fire for sure. If it wasn't for those very-early-in-the-game botches, the Seahawks never would have had a touchdown!

The snow just kept coming down heavier, I felt so giddy watching it. And then the sexy beast known as Mike Carey? This was The Greatest Game of All Time!

Now I have to watch the Pats win for the 89th time (bor-ing) while listening to the droning of Phil Simms. He's second only to Bryant Gumbel on my list of Most Hated NFL Announcers. Having Jim Nantz next to him helps him out there.