29 February 2008

The Gauntlet Was Decent Again

It's ridiculous how unbalanced these teams are. In the end, it's 14 Veterans and 7 Rookies. Not fair!

The Vet guys can't throw their mission because it was 4 Rookies against 7 Vets and that would be a bit obvious, even for these meatheads. Why are the Vet guys so sure that having more people in the end will be a bad thing? I still don't get it.

The Rookies lose and Melinda wants to go against Jillian, who would be going to the Gauntlet for the fourth time. The team instead goes against their own rule (the horror!) and puts Tori in against Melinda. Tori says she's quitting and not doing the Gauntlet. UH OH! T.J. doesn't like a quitter!!!

But before T.J. can lecture her (damn, I was looking forward to his scolding), Brad convinces her to compete. The only thing worse than a quitter is a quitter who un-quits and then wins. Attention whore much?

Next challenge: rescuing team members who are buried alive. The Vets have more people to un-bury yet somehow they rescue them faster. Even when they're at a disadvantage the Vets win!

Frank and M.J. go into the Gauntlet and somehow David slays Goliath and Frank wins.

Rated F For Funny


The trailer for Step Brothers starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. I'm sorry, the man-child thing never gets old! Love it!

28 February 2008

Rated A For Awesome or B For Badass?

Iron Man Exclusive Trailer

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Words can't express my joy in watching the Iron Man trailer. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Please pay attention -- he catches a car!!!!

When the shorter version aired during Lost tonight, we watched it, rewound it, and then Mike cleaned his glasses before we watched it again. Man, he is one pathetic loser.

Lost: Yeah, I Kind of Am

We gets a Desmond-centric episode which is good on one hand (because he's awesome), but confusing on the other (because he doesn't just flash-forward or flash-back, he actually time travels).

The helicopter hits a storm, either that or just bad special effects. Desmond travels back to 1996, and when he comes back to the helicopter he doesn't know who Sayid is or where he is.

Back on the island, Jeremy Davies says that the perception of time on the island is different from the rest of the world. So while Jack thinks the helicopter has been gone a day, it's actually just been 20 minutes or so for the helicopter crew. Sayid calls Jack and says Desmond's going wacky. Jeremy Davies knows what to do - he tells Desmond to go see Past Jeremy Davies in 1996 and give him some codes to enter into his machine. He does, and these codes are settings for a time machine he uses on a rat. The rat is transported to the future, where he learns a maze, then comes to in the "present" and completes the maze. Oh yeah and the rat dies later of a brain aneurysm. So time travel has some side effects Desmond might want to avoid.

Past Jeremy Davies tells Desmond that he has to find a "constant" - someone in 1996 and 2004 to make contact with and then presumably he's healed or something and won't time-jump anymore? So Past Desmond visits Penny, gets her phone number and says he'll call back on Christmas Eve 2004. Present Desmond calls Penny from the boat, they exchange promises to find each other, and now she knows he's on a boat in the South Pacific.

In the end, Present Jeremy Davies open his journal and finds a note he wrote to himself, that if something happens to him, Desmond is his constant.

This show should be about time travel S every week. It's a tad confusing and a bit of a mind-F, and maybe doesn't move the plot forward much, but it's also way cool.

America Was Pretty Much Right

I will argue that Alexandrea shouldn't have been sent home. That was my tomboy! She wasn't as bad as those blonde chicks. The others in the bottom were Alaina and practically-her-twin, Kady. Wow, when they stood next to each other you could really see how identical they were. Alaina was booted and was really broken up so of course I had to watch her performance because she was crying and saying "it's gonna sound horrible." Guess what - it sounded horrible yesterday too. I hate how Paula has to give the pep talks to the crying chicks that leave while Simon gets to berate the guys and tell them how much they suck.

Bye bye Aquaman (Jason Y.) with his Rogue-streaked hair and Robbie and his alleged wig.

We've got like 10 more people to get rid of before we're left with all good ones.

Another Babee


Harlow Winter November Autumn Whatever Richie Madden is a cutie!

Big Brother Is Still Dull

Nice turtle pin, Julie. WTF?

There was lots of conniving with no real purpose since none of it comes to fruition. You’re right, Matty, it was a "wicked hard" decision. Not that you're a Boston stereotype or anything. Bye bye Alex and Amanda.

Even the votes are dull:
Sharon (in robot voice): "We are voting to evict."
Joshuah: (sigh) "Alex and Amanda."

I long for "I want that f-ing bitch gone, bye-bye suckers!!!!"

Sharon and Joshuah are the Head of Household couple. Julie promised some new twist next week after evictions. At some point they have to be breaking up these couples! And maybe bringing some people back?

27 February 2008

Project Runway: Christian '08!

First off, Chris March was robbed! I'm sorry, I think he totally should have gone to the finals instead of Rami. Sure, he wouldn't have won but I just am in love with the man. Chris is offically The Nicest Man on the Planet. How can you not love him and want him to win? But what's great is that he genuinely seems happy for everyone else and happy that he made it that far.

The show began with Tim taking the trips to everyone's "spaces." Christian's from Maryland! Woot! And he made feathered pants! Not woot! Also, the boy works out of (and sleeps in!) a closet! He must win!

I'm afraid to say I think I liked slow-talking Jillian's designs, from what I saw.

Rami's dead mother = Rami in a wig! That picture was creepy! Me no likey Rami's mustard yellow (hopefully it gets toned down for next week). Tim Gunn's Quote of the Week in reference to one of Rami's coats: "This is a heavy-duty... effin' coat!"

No one can top Chris and his use of HUMAN HAIR!!!! OMG! It's like making something out of skin, it's just creepy. But then when I saw it on the runway I actually liked it. I guess the shock had worn off.

Now that Chris is gone I must support Christian! He rules!

American Idol Girls Rundown

No one blew me away tonight. There were some really good performances, but no real standouts.

Carly was great and picked a great Heart song that really fit her, but the judges weren't feeling it much.

Syesha. I think it was a good vocal but her voice is thin, too thin for the song.

Ramiele. Very good but not amazing. Cruddy song choice screwed her.

Kristy Lee was better than last week, but she still bores me.

Amanda the rocker chick was dreadful!! Booo. The low parts sucked so bad and she was off-key for most of the rest of it too. Thanks for ruining a great Kansas song.

Alaina. Crap crap crap. Painful at times.

Alexandrea didn't blow it out like she should have. The performance was fine, just not exciting or memorable.

Kady was just bad karaoke. And what's the difference between her and Alaina? They look and sound alike to me.

Asia'h should have blown this song out too. The first low parts were rough and she missed her first high note. Sure she came back to hit the 2 big notes, but it was still too ambitious for her.

Looks like Danny was the best girl this week!

Bicep Porn Pix




Alternate Headline: Norton Hulks Out, Arms Still Not As Impressive as Jackman's.

26 February 2008

Tonight on a Very Special Big Brother

This past week there was what has been described as a hot tub orgy (really more of a naked hard-core makeout session). Surprise - it wasn't shown on CBS! Also let me address James's blurred-out tattoos. The one on his chest is the Brawny Paper Towel logo (WTF?) with the words "Prestigious C**t" underneath. The one on his arm is a large image of a priest thinking of gay sex while crying and holding a gun to his head. Lord those are some horrid tattoos! Why cast someone with tattoos so twisted you can't show them on TV? Oh right, because he's "Crazy" James. Ooookay.

There was trouble in Sheila/Allison BFF Land tonight. Paranoid nutjobs. I loved how everyone was eavesdropping through the walls tonight.

The winners of the cross-promoting Jericho-themed Power of Veto competition were Sharon and Joshuah but they didn't use it.

They should have medical emergencies every week on this show because it made it 100 times more interesting! How fun to watch people pass out, seize, and almost die! Near death experiences bring people together. It's a beautiful thing. They'll be back to calling each other C's in no time.

Oh last thing - notice that they dropped the "Til Death Do You Part" from the title? Was that the most controversial thing of all this other crap? "Retards", gay porn, bad tattoos, C-words, orgies, and that's what got a reaction from CBS?

American Idol Boys Rundown

Well, SOME people listened to the judges last week. Either that or they just got over their nerves.

Greatest by a Mile
No one touches David Archuleta! The boy is making me forget Josiah ever existed. A. May. Zing. He gave me chills!! I especially loved Paula's comment (made while crying): "I want to squeeze your head off and dangle you from my rear view mirror." I swear I actually understood what she was talking about this time! Me love David Archuleta!

Most Improved
Chikezie is #1 most improved without a doubt (and the second best performance of the night). Who are you and what have you done with Chikezie?! It was 1000 times better than last week; I was amazed. I had been dreading him performing, but I actually rewound and watched again. I might even say he was better than Elliott Yamin when he performed that song, and that is high praise from me.

David Hernandez. I still find him to be a corny, Jersey-slicky-boy (is he even from New Jersey?), but his vocal was amazing and way better than last week!

David Cook, the rocker with the comb-forward. Great performance, but maybe that was due to the electric guitar? Imagine if they allowed instruments back when my men Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry were performing!

Fabulous Danny Noriega. Very good tonight, very pretty as always.

The Rest
I hate to put Michael the tennis-playing Australian here, but it just wasn't great. Not as bad as the rest, but he was definitely off, especially on the higher parts.

Jason Castro's look bothers me - he had a decent voice but a boring song.

Jason Yeager a/k/a Aquaman is still corny. He picked an awesome song and I actually thought he was much better than last week and not as bad as the judges said he was.

Luke a/k/a Aquaman-with-a-Beard sang a horrid version of a Queen song with a hokey-ass performance.

Robbie is still a wannabe Bo Bice. But he picked a good song and did well enough.

It Wouldn't Surprise Me

What does surprise me is how much I actually like Ashlee and Pete together, and how less-annoying she has become for me as the years roll on. I mean, compared to Britney and Lindsay, she's great!

Ashlee Simpson has been snapped wearing what appears to be an engagement ring at a signing of her new CD in New York. The ring comes amid rumors the singer is also pregnant with her Fall Out Boy boyfriend Pete Wentz's child.

Pete recently posted a blog online announcing the couples' plans to make something that cannot be illegally downloaded, hinting at a baby.

In the bizarre video message, Ashlee and Pete, who have dated since last summer, also reveal that the "release date" is July 2008, before Ashlee poses with a cushion stuffed under her top.

Keep Living in Florida!

OK, so this is interesting news to say the least. I'm at work now and we have a generator so things are money, but I'll probably be in trouble when I get home!!!
Florida Hit With Major Power Outages
MIAMI (CBS4) ― CBS4 has learned that a substation equipment failure may have tripped two FPL power generator units Tuesday afternoon, creating a domino effect in the South Florida power grid which caused a massive outage along the east coast, from the Daytona Beach area into Monroe County.

Florida Power & Light is reporting massive power outages throughout South Florida, including Miami, Doral, Westchester, and Pembroke Pines. Reports of outages extended into Palm Beach, and across the state of Florida.

The outage hit shortly after 1 p.m., and at first appeared to be a local issue in South Florida. However, calls from across the state south of Orlando started complaining of power problems, and the scope of the problem quickly widened.

The Miami-Dade Police Department said it is hearing that FPL is experiencing a massive transmission failure from Daytona Beach to Miami.

Miami-Dade Public Schools said schools have been locked-down, meaning children will be kept in their classrooms and parents will not be allowed to pick them up.

Some Broward County schools were without power, but a similar lockdown is not in effect there.

City of Miami Fire Rescue said nearly half a million people in the city of Miami have been left without power.

25 February 2008

Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck are Lovahs

I don't think this was as funny as the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video, but it scores points for celebrity participation. Any time you can get Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, McLovin, Harrison Ford, and freaking Josh Groban (WTF?) involved in a joke it's all good.

B&C Movie Mania

Thought I'd share some movies I just watched, since they are all worth watching for one reason or another.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age is worth watching only if you like 1) Cate Blanchett's acting (she's good), 2) Clive Owen's hotness (he's hot as balls), and 3) period pieces (if you like pretty sets and costumes, this movie has them). Otherwise it was uneventful and unmemorable.

Be Kind Rewind is a nice diversion if you haven't been to the movies in a few weeks so you're jonesing for the theater and you realize that Vantage Point is supposed to be trifling and you don't want to sit through that. It's a nice, quirky, feel-good comedy. I love Mos Def, I think he's so cool in everything he does.

Sunshine. Like WOAH. This movie was frakking amazing. Really well-done, original sci-fi. Sure it was reminiscent of Alien, but still original. Tightly-paced, awesome visuals, great performances (even from the Human Torch, WTF?).

I can't talk about Gone Baby Gone without talking about the ending and so I'm going to do that under spoiler bars. It's difficult to watch, depressing -- it's about kidnapped and abused kids and depressed neighborhoods of Boston, what do you expect? I thought it was well directed and Casey Affleck and Amy Ryan are particularly good. But I got story issues, which can be reviewed if you highlight the text below. I give away the ending. You've been warned.

Long story short, the kidnapper is Morgan Freeman (Chief of Police whose daughter had been murdered years ago) with the assistance of some cops and the kid's uncle. They essentially decided that the Mom didn't care enough about the girl (true enough, she is a foul-mouthed, unsympathetic cokewhore) and that the girl would be better off being raised by Morgan Freeman and his wife. I have a real problem buying this - I just can't believe that the uncle, cops, and Morgan Freeman of all people would really do this. But, OK, let's say they did and I have to accept it. Ignoring that, I love the ending. Private detective Casey Affleck is the one who discovers this and has to decide - is the kid better off with Morgan Freeman, who has essentially stolen her, or with her cokewhore mother. He ends up having Morgan arrested and returning the kid to her mother. And the mother continues her general neglect of the girl. I still think that was the right call though, I mean, you can't just take a girl from her mother. Mike disagrees. It's a nice movie to debate afterwards.

In other words, the resolution of the kidnapping sucks but the moral dilemma it presents is really interesting.

Annuale


Saturday Night Live was back in all of its mediocre-but-good-for-a-couple-big-laughs glory. I howled at this commercial. Hold on to your f-ing hat....

R.I.P. Omar Little


Due to the lack of respect shown to Omar Little by The Baltimore Sun and the Office of the Medical Examiner, I will write my own obituary. I'll call it a Faux-bituary. Clever, no?

To put it succinctly, Omar was THE MAN. For years he haunted the streets of Baltimore, a local legend, a cautionary tale to street kids. He lived by a strict code, never robbing, killing, or otherwise harming people who were not involved in the drug trade. After a particularly large score, Omar retired with his boyfriend, Renaldo.

Brought out of retirement by the Marlo Stanfield-ordered murder of long-time friend and advisor Blind Butchie, he returned to Baltimore seeking revenge against Marlo. Before he could even really begin his murderous mission, Omar was shot in the head in a corner store by foul-mouthed, punk-ass, 11-year-old, Kenard, who turned out to be a really good shot.

Omar is survived by his boyfriend, Renaldo, who we can only hope will avenge his murder. R.I.P. Omar, may your legend live on.

24 February 2008

The Wire Gives Me a Frowny Face

I'll leave the reason for last. It's just too depressing for me to deal with right now.

Overtime and rental cars for everyone! The Department has all kinds of money for McNulty's McFake McSerial Killer. McNulty and Kima travel to the FBI to get the profile on the killer. And LOL the profile fit McNulty to a tee! Can't hold relationships, high-functioning alcoholic, trouble with authority. Those FBI profilers know their S. McNulty gets another attack of conscience when he sees how hard Kima is working on investigating the serial killer, so he tells her the truth. McNulty also tells Beadie the truth. Well, that's not smart cuz they're both pretty honest chicks and I don't think they're going to go along with this for long.

Bunk gets the DNA back from Michael's step-dad's crime scene and it's a match to Chris Partlow. He wants to arrest Chris, but this would upset the Marlo investigation. He gives McNulty a couple days. Surveillance of Marlo's peoples leads to the conclusion that the clock pictures they are sending back and forth correspond to a map grid, so now they know where they will be heading once they intercept those pictures.

The homeless veteran Scott interviewed came to The Sun to complain about inaccuracies in the story. Of course Scott swears he told the truth. You know, I wish Scott could get shot in the head. Later Gus calls Scott out on an obvious fake quote from the mayor's speech/candlelight vigil. Scott basically says F You and tells on him like a little bitch, but Gus stands his ground. He is clearly over Scott and it's just a matter of time til he has the evidence he needs that he's been fabricating stories (hopefully!).

I thought to myself watching the first couple of Omar scenes, "Every time he's on screen I'm so tense thinking he's gonna get his head blown off." Well I'm a colossal jinx because he did!!! NOOOOOO! It was funny how all the street kids knew who Omar was but the cops didn't (when Omar tipped them off to criminals on the corner). Once the corner was cleared he got the stash of drugs and money and threw them in the storm drain, again announcing that he was calling Marlo out into the street.

Tragically (I guess tragically - I mean, he's a murderer and all, but he was still awesome), Omar was shot in the head in the grocery store - by that little foul-mouthed kid from Michael's corner. HOLY S I'm bitter! I stood up and screamed.

Omar gets no respect in death, he's just another thug after all, as first there is no room in the newspaper for a story on his murder, and then they put the wrong name on his body in the morgue. Zip up body bag, fade to black. DAMN!

I want Marlo dead. I want Scott dead. I want Omar's boyfriend to avenge his death!

Big Brother Allows the Commercials to Build Up So I Can Fast Forward My Way Through the Oscars

I was hoping that James's pictures in the Head of Household room would be the gay porn pictures of him. That would be one way of letting him and the house know that we all know.

The meatheads devise Operation Condor - take out the couples in the top row of pictures. Well, there's only one couple left on that top row. What does Operation Condor do after Alex and Amanda are gone? Do you really need to establish an Operation for a one-week mission?

I hate Amanda for several reasons, among them her squeaky voice, her slow, over-pronunciation of everything she says, and her speaking about herself in the third person.

Nominated: Alex & Amanda and Matt & Natalie (solely so they can win the Power of Veto). Those pawn things rarely work out the way they're supposed to, but here's hoping Amanda goes this week.

23 February 2008

OK


I give in. No denying it now. Angelina's pregnant!

Brangelina, I love you. Enough with the babies.

Allow Me This Rant, Won't You?


Excuse me while I rant against the Sci Fi Channel.

First of all, I will say thank for bringing us the quality television show, Battlestar Galactica. I devoured the Season 1 and 2 DVDs during the Great Television Famine of 2008. I had heard from multiple sources about how good the show was -- that it was generally good, not just good for science fiction. And I have to admit they were right. The show deals with real-life issues -- war, insurgencies, suicide bombings, religion, slavery, female Presidents, killer robot clones. OK, maybe not that last one.

Season 2 probably had The Greatest Ending Ever. I found myself left in the lurch because Season 3 doesn't come out on DVD until March 18. The Sci Fi Channel looked like it was going to remedy this situation by showing Season 3 on Saturday mornings. The first two episodes aired. Great. They were awesome. Then the next week.... DAGGER! They started re-running Season 1 again. W. T. F. Now I'm finding out something about Season 3 that I don't want to know practically every week. Frakkin' spoilers!

Incidentally, I'm now one of the people I used to make fun of - people who use the word "frak" naturally. It's the BSG swear word, don't you know. I would roll my eyes when I read it in an article or on the internet. Now I honestly use it, usually in frustration. FRAK!

Season 4 starts April 4. See you then, Sci Fi Channel!

Big Brother Contestants Injured, Maybe Gay

OK, so a few days ago I saw that "Crazy" James was involved in some gay porn. Crazy indeed. He looked a bit drugged out in the videos as well. Gay for pay I'm guessing.

And now this from Perez Hilton... Amanda and Allison were rushed to the emergency room overnight. Amanda, who is hypoglycemic, collapsed after not getting enough nutrition. And then she started having seizures - on the live feeds!

Allison ended up having to go in the ambulance too. She had a severe allergic reaction to something she ate and she started getting hives and her lips were swollen shut.

Maybe that winter edition of Big Brother wasn't such a good idea. The house is cursed!

22 February 2008

And For the Guys


And, well, me, because I love Hayden Panettiere.

Hawtest Hitchhiker Ever



Indulge me in a moment of fangirl squeeing because OMG Sendhil Ramamurthy. The man is too pretty to really exist. GUH!

Two More Kids Popped Out Into the World


It's double the baby joy for Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony: They're the proud new parents of twins, a boy and a girl, Lopez's manager tells PEOPLE exclusively.

The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, NY. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.

"Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon," Lopez's manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively. They're the first children for Lopez, 38, and the fourth and fifth for Anthony, 39.

The girl has a huge ass and the boy looks like a scarecrow. Oh no I didn't!

21 February 2008

Lost is Sometimes Boring - Til That Killer Ending!

Yeah, I was ready to write this episode off as lame until the last word was spoken! Then WOAH!

On the island, Locke has Ben imprisoned in his basement. Has Ben's face ever been not-bruised on this show? He's continually yellow and purple. Kate goes to see Miles to ask if they (and I guess the rest of the outside world) know about her and her fugitive status. Miles says he'll tell her if he can talk to Ben. So Kate and Sawyer distract Locke. Miles tells Ben he'll tell his employer that Ben is dead if he can get $3.2 million in cash in one week. Ben can apparently make this happen. Also, there was this whole "Kate might be pregnant" thing that I feel like I was dropped in the middle of. Did we already know she thought she was pregnant? That's what happens when the show goes off the air for so long. I forget stuff. Anyway, once Locke finds out Kate let Miles and Ben talk (and she tells him in all honesty what they said), he banishes her from his side of the island.

On the Jack side of the island, they call the freighter but the freighter knows nothing about the helicopter or the people in it - they thought the helicopter was still on the island. There is that weird time-lag thing, remember.

Oh yeah and Locke takes it out on Miles by stringing him up and pulling the pin on a grenade and shoving it in his mouth. Now he can't talk. I love me some Badass Locke!

In Kate's Flash Forward, she is on trial for her crimes. She has a son whom she doesn't want to be at the trial. Jack testifies on her behalf. He says, "Only 8 of us survived the crash" and that 2 of them died on the island. It's apparently the story they're telling the world. Interesting.

What court would allow the accused (Kate) to have a private conversation with the star witness against her (her mother)? Well, that's what happens and Mom wants to meet the son in exchange for not testifying. Kate says no, but in the end Mom doesn't testify due to an alleged medical emergency. Kate pleads down to time served and 10 years of probation saying she wants to get back to her son. I guess Mom was their only freaking evidence.

Jack still loves Kate blah blah. I hate them both so this is the point where I start to get irritated like, what was the f-ing point of this episode? Then Kate arrives home and picks up her son and calls him AARON!!!! OMG WTF! She's raising Claire's baby!!! This was good stuff!

Not so good: the apparent lack of my promised Iron Man trailer. Now it's supposed to be next week's episode. Those lying, hyping bastards!

American Idol In 7 Minutes

'Cuz that's all it takes to get through hour-long results shows when you refuse to watch Paula Abdul music videos and what I'm just going to assume was a hideous group performance.

The Rejects were all deserving, no surprises here. Except for the fact that Ryan so unceremoniously called Garrett up on stage and kicked his ass off. LOL! Other guy: Colton.

The girls: Amy. Great, now who's gonna be the Slutty One? And Joanne, the only fat black chick I've ever known who can't sing. Ramiele has the voice she's supposed to have.

Bye losers!

Blogging The Gauntlet Out of Self-Imposed Obligation

At least the Veteran Boys did something to spice up this show. They decided to throw a mission so they would lose a girl to the Gauntlet. It was pretty high comedy watching Danny run laps around the pyramid they were building instead of working on it. It's hysterical that they threw the mission right in front of the girls' faces. It was Coral vs. Beth and Coral bitched that Beth had 50 pounds and 50 years on her. Thankfully Coral wins. And Ryan beat Derek in the Male Gauntlet. The end.

Pretty In Pink


Zahara Jolie-Pitt has attitude!

Geekgasm!


The full 2-minutes-and-30-seconds-of-awesome Iron Man trailer will debut during tonight's episode of Lost.

To be posted here tomorrow!

UPDATE: I should have known it was too good to be true. But allegedly it's supposed to happen during next week's episode!

Demetri Martin Pwns Charts

Big Brother

The whole house hates Amanda for being gossipy. Joshuah raged against Amanda. I saw the video earlier in the week and it's just a litany of C's and F's and B's and horse-faced's. I hadn't seen that great ending though, where Chelsia mentions a noose and Joshuah tells Amanda to hang herself like her dad did. LOL! But honestly that just gave Amanda all the more opportunity to get more attention. In fact, she seemed more concerned about the horse-faced comments than the low blow about her father. I'm over her.

I'm also over Jen, who told everyone that her boyfriend Ryan was a racist so she could turn people against him. OMG bitch! Sheila told Ryan what Jen said, she denies it (OMG bitch!), then says, "I told people you had racial issues, so what?" OMG bitch! It's on tape! UGH!

So now we're live and nice velvet pantsuit, Julie. Nice heavy-ass make-up. Vacant as ever.

It seemed to me like Jen and Parker knew they were going to be evicted, but then they accused people of lying to them so maybe they really were surprised. I liked Parker, and I'm sorry to see you go, dude, but I like Allison 100 times more than Jen. Clearly telling people they were dating backfired on Jen. L. O. L.

They had a Head-of-Household-mixed-with-punishment/reward competition. Results: No hot water for 72 hours. No drinking cups for a week (but they get a margarita party - good luck with that). No washing machine for 2 weeks (instead of the other option - no workout equipment. Dumbasses.).

HoH: Chelsia and James. I approve. I like them.

(And Kim - no worries. I've exerted my CBS influence and they're supposed to remove the competition/eviction results from the home page so you can watch online without being spoiled.)

20 February 2008

Attack of the Blonde Zombies

My American Idol conversation at work today largely centered around speculation as to which of these girls is going to be this season's whore. There aren't really any hotsie girls, but at least one of them has to be whored-up by the producers.

Man, a lot of these performances were as bad as last night's. They clearly saved the best three for last.

The Only Good Ones
Ramiele. That voice is so out of place in her tiny body! A. May. Zing. I applauded her from my couch. Best of the night!

Carly. The song was dull, she was good but not great. I agree with Simon - she wasn't as good as I thought she would be. So I wasn't blown away, but she is still way better than most of these chicks. She'll get better. And I loved seeing her Tattoo Face Husband sitting in the front row not applauding or reacting to any other performances.

Syesha. Powerful voice. Good, fun performance. I think she'll only get better.

Asia'h. I didn't think she had the strongest voice, but she was a great performer. Then again, maybe she just has a raspy voice. We will see.

Alexandrea. I got into her performance! And respect that homegirl wore sneakers. Simon no likey though.

The Rest
Alaina. It was actually a little shouty for me, dawg, but it was better than most and I saw the potential.

Kristy. Rough. Boring - she looked robotic and unemotional.

Joanne. I actually said "ugh" out loud (I'm the only one in the house mind you) at one point. Boring.

Amanda. That "bluesy rocker" voice is going to get old real fast. Was I supposed to understand the lyrics? Do. Not. Get.

Amy. Who are you? She couldn't sing in tune! Painful. And I vote her Most Likely To Be The Slutty One. It did feel like an eternity, Simon.

Brooke. Booooring. That's a combination of "booo" and "boring."

Kady. Another dull blonde girl?! How many can we have? Her voice was mostly good but her performance was so boring Simon compared it to a pencil. Love you, Simon!

Simon Quote of the Night
"I feel like I'm in a commercial for some washing-up liquid in the 60's." And he accuses Paula of not making sense!

Human Giant Returns March 11


God how I've missed this show.

Too Close To Call



I need some more time before I'm prepared to make a ruling on Max Bratman. Too early right now to tell who he favors. I'll get back to you on this one.

I Don't Know


People say Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panettiere are dating. But I'm much more suspicious of her and her TV dad, Jack Coleman. They look way closer.

Big Brother

It's funny how everyone seems to want to be partnered with someone else. So much for that reliable CBS Compatibility Test.

Neil left the house due to a totally unexplained personal matter, so now Joshuah is partnered with Sharon. Now I'm glad they brought her back, simply because she got so hosed by being paired with her ex. But, there's the bad news: NO. POSSIBILITY. OF. GAY. SEX. Big Brother After Dark is officially dead to me, no reason to watch that now. Dagger.

I'm sorry, people actually believe the story Sheila and Allison made up about being a lesbian couple? I thought they were clearly joking - people are actually buying this? I guess boredom makes people gullible and then they read too much into everything and suddenly people think there's another secret relationship. Let it go, people.

Matt and Natalie win the Power of Veto and choose not to use it. As much as I actually like Parker, I hate Jen so hopefully they will get evicted. But then that just means the house will go back to the Straight White Big Brother House.

19 February 2008

Boys Night + 60s Night = Suckage

Ah, the part of American Idol where I fast-forward through all the talking and just get to the singing and the judging. Tonight largely sucked.

The Only Good Ones
Michael a/k/a The Fabulous Australian. Hot hot hot.

Little David Archuleta. He has one soulful-ass mature voice, but his song selection sucked. He's just too cute for words - I want to put him in my pocket and pet him forever.

Danny a/k/a The Prettiest Girl in the Competition. Again, his voice doesn't fit his look. I worry that he's too gay for Idol. But I like him. He's fabulous!!

Who The F Are You and Why Were You Chosen Over Josiah?
Jason. I guess he was picked because he fills the Himbo category. He looks like he should be playing Aquaman - as long as it's not a musical version.

Luke. Ugh. I puked.

Colton. Blah and corny and forgettable. His parents didn't even look enthused.

The Other Suckage
David Hernandez. Fine by comparison, pretty corny.

Chikezie. Not good, really corny, and the orange suit was bothersome. Amen to Simon on this one - he said everything I did plus called him old-fashioned.

David Cook. The hair bothers me. Is he combing forward over a big bald spot? At least he rearranged his song and made it more modern.

Robbie a/k/a Bo Bice Lite. Booo. Not as "rocking" as he tried to be.

Garrett. He's a 70s-rock reject - that hair! Oh God! Looking like Leif Garrett isn't a compliment dude!

Jason Castro a/k/a White Dreadlocky McGee. He played the guitar. He was better than the others, not that that's saying much.

So ugh, not too many stars in this group of guys.

Are Those Real?


From Wolverine, scheduled to be released May 1, 2009. Also recently cast in the film, Taylor Kitsch (TV's Friday Night Lights) as Gambit and Ryan Reynolds (I like him) as Deadpool.

I used to be into X-Men, and I know these characters are kickass. So this movie better be good.

But most importantly, seriously, are those really Hugh Jackman's arms?!

Tee Shirt of the Century

Prison Break: Last Episode Ever?

I ask that question, unfortunately, hoping the answer is Yes. The first season of this show was some of the greatest stuff ever on television, and it just degenerated into this mess. Tragic really.

I can sum this episode up really quickly:

LJ and Sofia were saved, but she was shot. Lincoln and LJ stay with her in the hospital to take care of her. Michael is out for revenge for Sara's death so he has decided to pursue Gretchen/The Company (after a great bromosexual hug with his brother). Mahone, Whistler, and Gretchen team up and drive off together, but I'm not sure what for. T Bag killed Lechero, took over as the King of Sona (his platform: "All inmates are created equal"), and Sucre joined them as a prisoner because he wouldn't give up Michael's location. And, oh yeah, that basketball playing kid made it home safely so we have one happy ending.

No word from FOX on renewal, but please just put the show out of its misery so I can watch my Season 1 DVDs and move on with my life.

18 February 2008

The Wire: Fake Serial Killer Phone Call Frenzy

McNulty fakes a Baltimore accent and scrambles his voice and places a call to the reporter as the fake serial killer. He also sends a picture of the homeless guy he "kidnapped" last week. Now they've got a tap on the Marlo picture phone messages, but it's some kind of code - pictures of clocks showing various times.

As McNulty says, "This shit's bigger than I ever thought it would be." The FBI is getting involved and he's getting a ton of extra money for the case. Word spreads quickly that he's giving away a lot of that money and overtime, and it's snatched up pretty quickly. Bunk is through with this B.S. - loved his constant eye-rolling and sighing.

Not too much of the corners this week - Omar shot one of Marlo's boys and told Michael's corner to get word to Marlo that he wants to see him in the street.

Clay Davis went on trial and won due to his defense - the money he took from his non-profit organization was actually given to his constituents who asked him for various things, and it was easier to do that from his personal bank account. He gave an impassioned, slick speech in the courtroom and got applause inside and out. He's one gregarious SOB.

Cute Baby Alert


They don't get much cuter than this!
Naomi Watts takes son Alexander Pete "Sasha", 6 months, for a stroll at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia on Sunday.

The Gauntlet

Why is this year's Gauntlet not as exciting? What's missing? Tina? God forbid.

MJ replaces Tyree and it's nice to see his goofy ass again. He has a, as he says, "Five and a half month year old" baby. Wow. That’s gonna be one smart kid. Same old MJ.

Watching Melinda get hit in the head with a board never gets old and they showed it no fewer than 4 times in one hour. Love it!

The Rookies team is just hemorrhaging players. First, Janelle is voted into the Gauntlet, and Frank throws a fit because she wants to go up against Jillian and she’s been in every time. Wah. Well, Jillian's still tough so bye-bye Janelle. Then, Frank goes into the Gauntlet and chooses to go up against Zach. Who the F is Zach? Doesn't matter, because Frank wins.

Next week: Kenny and Evan are planning to throw competitions so they can get rid of their crappy girls.

Big Brother

I liked Allison's ultimatum to Ryan and (mostly) Jen: You piss me off and I'll tell everyone you're dating. But I guess this backfired on her because they felt threatened and told everyone in the house they were a couple. Now you're targets, dumbass. I don't know the smart way to handle that situation, but I know that wasn't it. They couldn't keep the damn secret for more than a week. These twists are backfiring. So of course Ryan & Allison and Jen & Parker are up for eviction. Idiots. I hope Jen goes because she is a raving bitch.

Three things I loved:

1. Everyone swearing on a Bible half of them don't believe in that they don't know anyone else in the house.

2. Amanda's segue (or lack thereof) when saying "I have a high-pitched voice" and "My father hung himself."

3. They didn't show the First Big Brother BJ of The Year: Natalie and Matt got it on. Search YouTube if you're into grainy, night-vision, under-the-covers BJs where, once finished, the guy is like, "Thanks, now don't tell anyone." LOL!

17 February 2008

I Cain't Do It


I just survived a weekend with my parents visiting. I want very badly to get out of the house and go to the movies. But I just can't bring myself to see Jumper. I thought the trailers looked cool and the concept was good (good special effects, and I'm down with the whole discovering a superpower concept), but from everything I've heard the execution sucks ass. It currently has a 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm pretty sure that's real frakking bad. Anybody see it?

15 February 2008

I'm On the Winning Team for Once!

Toshiba to drop HD DVD, sources say

The format war has turned into a format death watch.

Toshiba is widely expected to pull the plug on its HD DVD format sometime in the coming weeks, reliable industry sources say, after a rash of retail defections that followed Warner Home Video's announcement in early January that it would support only the rival Blu-ray Disc format after May.

Immediately after the Warner announcement, the HD DVD North American Promotional Group canceled its Consumer Electronics Show presentation. The following week, data collected by the NPD Group revealed Blu-ray took in 93% of all hardware sales for that week.

Toshiba subsequently fired back, drastically cutting its HD DVD player prices by as much as half, effective Jan. 15. But a hoped-for consumer sales surge never materialized; retail point-of-sale data collected by the NPD Group for the week ending Jan. 26 still showed Blu-ray Disc players ahead by a wide margin, 65% to 28%.

"An announcement is coming soon," said one source close to the HD DVD camp. "It could be a matter of weeks."

Microsoft is the other big player in the HD DVD equation. Last fall when Paramount Home Entertainment announced it was dropping its dual-format strategy and would release titles only in HD DVD, giving that side a brief resurgence, a pitch to journalists for interviews came from a Microsoft email address.

Several phone calls to Kevin Collins, Microsoft's normally accessible "HD DVD evangelist," were not returned. Nor were calls to Ken Graffeo, the Universal Studios Home Entertainment executive who doubles as co-president of the HD DVD North American Promotional Group.

When Warner abandoned HD DVD in January, the format was left with just two of the six major studios backing it, Universal Studios Home Entertainment and Paramount Home Entertainment. This week, two key retailers, Best Buy and Netflix Inc., both got off the fence and threw their support behind Blu-ray exclusively, citing widespread studio support and consumer preference. Both companies said Warner's decision was a turning point in their strategies. Blockbuster Inc. last summer already decided to offer only Blu-ray Disc titles at its company-owned rental stores.

14 February 2008

Lost: Now With 700% More Sayid Goodness

We get Sayid's flash-forward this week (yay! he lives!). In the future he's golfing and killing people for a living. Sayid killing people = excellent. Sayid with longer, straighter hair = beyond excellent. He seduces a German chick to get to her boss to kill him. She's double-crossing him the whole time and shoots him first, trying to figure out who he's working for. He kills her, because let's face it, he's a better professional killer than she is. At the end, we get the big reveal: he's working for Ben, killing people on a list. Sayid: "Now they know I'm looking for them." Ben: "Good." Seems like Ben's trying to pick off people who were trying to kill him.

Back on Lost Island, long story short, Sayid gets Charlotte back so that he can get a helicopter ride off the island. In the end, Sayid and Desmond copter off with the pilot and Naomi's dead body. Also, Sayid had found a stash of passports, money, and clothes hidden in Ben's house.

And the weird physicist dude was conducting an experiment that, as far as I can tell, proves that the island is in some kind of time rift. He had the freighter fire off a rocket and it arrives much later than expected, with a timer 30-something minutes ahead of the timer he started when the rocket was launched. Silly physicists and their time experiments. I'll have to do some interweb research on this one tomorrow.

Project Runway

Tim Gunn's Word of the Day: "obfuscation." Can you use it in a sentence? "I'm afraid this is an obfuscation." Love you, Tim!

Before we started watching, I said, "Where has Collier Strong been this season?" Then they said the make-up and styling would be an integral part of this challenge and I knew my man was coming on! Oh how I've missed you, your bad skin, and your lack of any real insight, Collier!

For the final challenge, the designers visited an art museum and took inspiration from any piece of art. I immediately said, "Rami's going for the Greek sculptures." As did Chris, Tim, and the rest of the country. The dress was gorgeous, but enough already with the Grecian draping.

I loved Chris's and Christian's. I didn't like Sweet P's and didn't see the inspiration there (the peacocks were where exactly?). I didn't like the dress part of Jillian's, just the jacket.

Christian wins with the puffy shirt thing (but really it worked with his inspiration piece), and Jillian is also in (oh how she bores me). They "couldn't decide" whether Chris or Rami should go home, so they will both make collections for Fashion Week, but they will go head-to-head to determine who will actually officially show at Fashion Week. I'm fine with that, just because it gives Chris the chance to continue and makes him happy. Whatever makes Chris happy makes me happy! The loser: Sweet P (sorry, Kim).

Reunion next week. I can't wait to see what Christian and Chris do for Fashion Week!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's my gift to you. WARNING: Only watch if you're as big a fan of the C word as I am. Especially the use of the C word on national television before 9 AM.

Indiana Jones Teaser


So I really don't know how I feel about a new Indiana Jones movie. The trailer is pretty cool, but Indiana Jones has such a throwback 80's vibe for me. I feel like a kid again watching this, but not in a good way. I'm an adult now, should I really be watching another Indiana Jones flick? Setting aside the fact that Harrison Ford is one million years old (this may be a slight exaggeration, I didn't fact-check it), the movie just feels old to me.

Also, if Short Round isn't in it, heads will roll. Actually, never mind, he's not available to do the movie because I married him and wouldn't let him go back to making movies. Short Round got a lot of Hollywood ass in his day. Doctor Jones! Doctor Jones!

VD Rant

No surprise here that a cynic like me can't stand Valentine's Day. I hate the commercials that make men think that they have to buy $149 diamond-encrusted pendants or they aren't worth anything. I hate that women are impressed when their men buy them things on February 14th out of a sense of obligation. I hate women.

And S like this really pisses me off:
Proposal Planners Come of Age

The idea of getting down on one knee has always given men sweaty palms. But in an age when you can hire someone to pick up your dry cleaning, or walk your dog, why not pay someone to put the pro in proposal?

"One of the big emerging trends in proposals these days is hiring a proposal planner," says Anja Winikka, associate editor of the WeddingChannel.com. "The kind of guys that want to hire a planner are the kinds of guys that want to make that perfectly special moment absolutely smooth."

Wedding planners have added a new service to their roster for men who have elaborate ideas for how they want to propose. The planners work out the details and logistics, even coaching the men on what to wear and say.

"They are so insecure," says wedding planner Jennifer Zabinski, owner of theweddinglibrary.com. "And they want it to be so amazing and so different. And I think those things are hard to do."

Planners can make it elaborate. Recent tales include designing a fake Broadway show, writing the proposal into the play, or hiding the ring in a shell on the ocean floor for a couple scuba diving. Hotels are also capitalizing on the trend. Planners set up special proposal suites for the couple to spend the night in, not unlike a honeymoon. At Manhattan's Mandarin Oriental, they supply it with chilled champagne and strawberries, spread out the rose petals, and even put a photo of the happy couple up on the TV.

The over-the-top proposal seems hardly a surprise in a culture in which we express ourselves through consumer choices. Proposal planners are just the latest piece of the $160 billion wedding industry.

I guess I could open a Proposal Planning business. My services would be really cheap. All the guys would propose in basement apartments over a dinner of Hamburger Helper and green beans!! :-)

Enjoy your Hallmark holiday, if you celebrate it!

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO


Paramount is pushing back the release of J.J. Abrams' Star Trek from December 25 to May 8, 2009, saying the pic's gross potential is greater as a summer tentpole.

Thanks for making me wait, assholes.

13 February 2008

American Idol Gets on my Bad Side

Worst news first: Josiah the Homeless Boy is OUT! Dagger. He's gonna kill himself now, I just know it. This sucks. Don't cry, Josiah!! You can come live with me!!! Mike is now protesting and refusing to watch this season. So he'll be on the sofa next to me, but will be watching his PSP (allegedly).

IN: Irish Chick, Archuleta, Filipina, Australian Dude, and Dead-Dad Girl. I don't know who half the people were tonight. But it's always high comedy to watch the girls fall apart before they even get the news.

Big Brother: First Eviction

Let the fun times begin. Adams pulls a There's Something About Mary and almost-literally says, "I work with retards." Something about wanting to open a salon where "retards can get their hair done." LOL! He's such a dumbass. Of course it's just one more thing for the Cougar to go off on him about. They really hate each other. And of course Adam snores.

Jacob starts some S by saying "everyone" thinks Parker's a snake. So Parker wakes up the whole house to discuss it. Literally. Jacob comes across as a giant a-hole. Also? He sounds hella gay, maybe he cheated on Sharon with a dude.

Jen told Parker that she and Ryan are dating so that he wouldn't evict Ryan. So Ryan tells his partner Allison too. I thought that was smart. Now it's in their best interest not to let anyone else know or they'll be targets. And now they have a built-in alliance.

First eviction: Jacob and Sharon. That's for the best for Sharon, I felt bad for her. Jacob seemed like a real douche.

First Head of Household: Amanda and Alex. (Eric and Jessica from last season hosted the competition - and they're still together. YAY!)

Big Brother: The First Episode

Well, I was right - they're all ugly and annoying. There were a few twists to this "couples" edition of Big Brother.

1. Jen and Ryan are an undercover real-life couple who are pretending to be strangers. Unfortunately for them, they don't get paired up together as "soulmates", so Ryan gets to watch Jen get paired up with the black dude. They'll be broken up by the time this is over, they've only been going out 9 months.

2. Sharon and Jacob were in a 12-year relationship. Until he cheated on her. Nice. They ARE paired up together, which I think is just cruel to her. I love how Jacob is amazed that Sharon's upset about it. Duh. She's so miserable right now. I feel really bad for her.

The cougar and the ugliest dude get paired up and it's great because she disses him right to his face. Now I love her, and hope they last forever.

Tonight is the first eviction - the Power Couple (Jen and Parker) get to evict another couple.

B&C Beverage of the Week


Good lord in sweet heaven, Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai Tea with Soy Protein is the Greatest Drink in the History of the World. If you ever want to get me a present, just send me 50 cases of this.

There's no reason to go to Starbucks anymore when I can just get this at the grocery store. No, wait, there is a reason to go to Starbucks - I overheard the following conversation between Starbucks employees this past weekend:

"So, Rob, what's the new flavor going to be?"
"Honey Latte."

Oh hells yes. Can't wait to try a honey latte, but once that novelty wears off I'll go back to my Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Soy Chai. You just microwave it up and it's money!

Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!!

The membership of the Writers Guild of America, West and the Writers Guild of America, East today voted overwhelmingly in favor of lifting the restraining order and ending their 100-day strike that began on November 5. 3,775 writers turned out in Los Angeles and New York to cast ballots or fax in proxies, with 92.5% voting in favor of ending the work stoppage.

"The strike is over. Our membership has voted, and writers can go back to work," said Patric M. Verrone, President of the Writers Guild of America, West.

Great news. Hope you got what you wanted. Now let's get back to work. Here's what we can expect according to TV Guide:

24: Season 7 postponed until January 2009. Boo.

30 Rock and The Office: Expected to shoot 5-10 new episodes to air in April/May.

Bionic Woman: No new episodes expected. Ever. Ha! Best news. Ever.

Chuck, Life, Pushing Daisies and Heroes: No new episodes until fall. Whatever. Just get to work and MAKE THEM GOOD! (I'm talking to you, Kring.)

Lost: Six pre-strike episodes remain. Expected to shoot five additional episodes to air in April/May.

Saturday Night Live: Returns February 23.

I can only assume The Daily Show and The Colbert Report writers can report today. Yay hooray because those shows were suffering a little.

Home of the Josiah Leming Fan Club


I'm a huge fan of Josiah the Homeless Boy from American Idol. Holy crap, he's good! He sounds like a professional. AND HE LIVES IN HIS CAR!!! How can you not love this boy? Mike's actually in love with him - he rewound the performance, and Mike claims to hate this show. I don't know this song, but loved it. (I'm going to pretend that his second audition didn't happen, since it wasn't this good.)

Last night we cut from 160-something to 50. I can do without the melodramatic stylings of Ryan Seacrest - "yesterday's historic elimination", "the most dramatic Hollywood day ever." Right.

Who I like besides Josiah: the Filipina chick, the Irish chick, the Australian guy, and David Archuleta, the 16-year-old whose voice sounds so much older. He rules.

12 February 2008

Prison Break: 1 to Go

So there's one more episode of Prison Break left, which is a good thing. Is it even coming back next year? Should it? No. Will it? Probably. Will I watch? Of course.

Lechero, T Bag, and Bellick were all caught in the yard when the lights came back on. This was in Michael's plan of course. In the commotion, Michael, Mahone, Whistler, and the kid make it out, crawling under humvees, and into the jungle. They make it to the beach to meet Linc, dig up the mini oxygen tanks Linc had buried in the sand, and swim out into the ocean.

Sucre was supposed to bring a boat to them, but he's being held at Sona because his fake identity has an arrest warrant out for him. So the boys float on a buoy until the kid's dad arrives with the boat. (He went to meet his kid at the dock, saw that the boat hadn't been taken out, and knew what direction they were going to be in. OK?)

Back at Sona, Lechero was shot during the escape attempt so he's just bleeding in the corner. Bellick gets the crap beat out of him. T Bag sits there, untouched as always, til finally the guards start beating his ass too. They take him back to the guard office, strip his pants off, and threaten his nuts with electricity. Little do they realize, this is considered Happy Fun Time for T Bag. T Bag sees Sucre in the office next door and tells the guards to ask him about the Scofield Gang.

Long story short(ish), Whistler lost his book with the all-important coordinates in it during the escape. T Bag found it on the way to the guard office. The Scofield Gang is waiting at the rendezvous point for Susan and the hostages. Whistler takes off. Well, Susan's not going to be happy when she shows up and Whistler's not there with his book.

11 February 2008

Funny New Show Alert


I just found out about a new VH1 show, Free Radio. If the embed code keeps wigging out, you can watch the show online here.

It's right up my alley because it's an improvised comedy (which I love) about radio (and I'm a bit of a talk radio geek). Kiefer Sutherland is on the first episode. I found out about it because Zachary Quinto and Jack Coleman from Heroes are going to be on later episodes. It's really funny, and fills the Human Giant void for me.

The Wire: Me Love the Bad Guys


I love me some Omar. Is that wrong? I mean, he's a murderous thief, but he is so freaking cool. I have a thing for bad boys - Sylar, Marlo, Omar. Yes, I like Marlo too even though my greatest wish is that Omar shoots him in the face. That man is just cool as ice.

Omar was injured by his Batman/Spider-man (depending on if you ask me or Marlo) leap, but he's still a damn badass. He steals some of Marlo's money and then burns it, telling Marlo's boy that it's not about the money this time. He's calling Marlo out and he's right - Marlo is too much of a bitch to face Omar in the street. Please let's have a Wild West-style face-off with these two! (As long as it ends with Omar victorious.) Marlo tells the co-op that Omar killed Prop Joe, but they don't seem to be buying it.

That part of the show would be my favorite plot line, followed by the Baltimore Sun stuff and then McNulty's Mess. McNulty's grand plan is seriously f-ed up. First, he can't get any freshly dead homeless to mess with, because by the time he shows up to the scene half the department is already there. He made the homeless murders so high-profile he can't get to the bodies first. Also, the wiretaps on Marlo aren't picking anything up, because he's sending pictures through his cell phone, not making calls. When McNulty said "We can't make another murder" I swear to god I said to the TV, "You can if you kill them yourself." And I thought that's what he had in mind.

Instead, he kidnaps a homeless dude with the intent of sending the Sun a cell phone picture of him from "the killer", thereby getting permission to tap into Marlo's cell phone pictures. Good lord, that's convoluted. McNulty looked like he felt guilty about taking the homeless guy to a Virginia shelter, but really the guy is better off than being on the street in Baltimore, and at least he didn't kill him like I thought he was going to!

As for the Sun stuff, Gus asked the Lying Liar Reporter to follow-up on some complaints about one of his stories. I hope he's setting him up - he has to know he's a liar!!!!

The Grammys is the Lowest Seed of Award Shows

I don't ever really watch the Grammys. Music is the lowest seed of the entertainment world for me. No, wait, I guess it's books. But they don't have televised award shows for books. So the Grammys are the lowest for me. In the age of the interwebs, I can always catch any good performances the next day anyway.

However, we did catch a few performances last night which represented the good, the bad, and the ugly. Kanye West was great. From the high-energy "Stronger" to the touching tribute to his mother (I say touching even though he had "MAMA" engraved into his hair), it was great. Then we had Beyonce doing her usual over-blown, melodramatic B.S. And then there was the ugly: country music. I'm sorry, I thought you people had your own award shows? We saw Brad Paisley perform and Jesus Lord, I swear to you, these are the lyrics:
'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

The song was about ticks! I wanted to throw up it was so bad. He almost redeemed himself with this line:
I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your ____

Unfortunately, he used the word "front", if he had used the C word I would have had some respect for him. I'll stick with my angsty emo lyrics, thanks.

And the other reason the Grammys sucks:

Album of the Year: "River: The Joni Letters," Herbie Hancock.

HERBIE HANCOCK????!!!!!!!

08 February 2008

Lost Kicks Ass Again

Loved last night's Lost. I know I'm aways contradictory with this show. I say "I like the mysticism" and that I miss when the show was scary. And last night's episode didn't have any of that, it really just introduced 4 new characters. But I loved it. I thought they were introduced really well and the characters are intriguing. Plus there is some mystery surrounding them. Here are the newbies - all from the helicopter - whose back stories I assume were flashbacks:

1. Jeremy Davies. Can't remember the character's name, he'll always just be twitchy-weirdo-awesome Jeremy Davies to me. Don't know much about him, other than that he was really upset to find out that Oceanic 815 was found in the South Pacific on the ocean floor. Yes, that's right, in the real world there is footage of the whole plane found underwater. We know this is false. It's also shown that the pilot is found underwater. This is also false, since Greg Grunberg died in a tree or something in the first episode.

2. Miles (Yay! More Asians!), who legitimately talks to ghosts.

3. Charlotte, an archaeologist who found a polar bear skeleton with a Dharma collar in the Tunisian desert.

4. Frank, a drunk who was supposed to be the pilot of Oceanic 815, and reported that it couldn't have been the pilot's body in the "wreckage."

So the Big New Mysteries are: why was the crash wreckage staged (or is it?) and what is the primary objective of the helicopter/freighter crew, since they claim it is not a rescue mission. They claim they are on the island for Ben. Ben knows everything about the crew (names, birth dates, everything). Why? "I have a man on their boat."

Yay yay yay. I loved this episode! I literally said, "Oh man, it's over already?" at the end.

Nice Shirt Dummy


Wow, someone's really full of themselves....

BURN!

07 February 2008

You Have No Idea How Happy This Makes Me

No, actually, you probably do. Eisner, you better be right!
A deal has been struck between the major media companies and the Writers Guild of America to end the writers' strike, former Walt Disney chief executive Michael Eisner revealed on CNBC.

"It's over," Eisner said. "They made the deal, they shook hands on the deal. It's going on Saturday to the writers in general."

Eisner, speaking live on CNBC's "Fast Money," seemed to hesitate initially about whether it was possible that the writers could still reject the agreement, but finally suggested the deal's acceptance was inevitable.

"A deal has been made, and they'll be back to work very soon," Eisner said, adding, "I know a deal's been made. I know it's over."

Project Wrestling Ring

I liked this challenge. It was fun. Every year there seems to be some kind of bizarre costume/athlete challenge. This one was designing for female wrestlers. I expected Chris to do full-on Nacho Libre-style.

Of course Chris wins because it's a costume-y challenge. YAY Chris!
Love the leopard! I can imagine how much these types of challenges suck for the designers who just want to do "serious" fashion. Christian does really well though too. His design was, to use his over-used word, fierce. It just was.

The loser: Ricky. Finally. It sucks when designers go home during these goofy challenges, but in this case, Ricky should have gone home long ago so I'm A-OK with it. It was an organge Flashdance-looking bathing suit.

I can't believe we're at Top 5 already! I don't know if they're doing Top 3 or 4 this year, but I want all the guys in the Top 3. Though I wouldn't mind having Sweet P in there too. My gut says Chris isn't going to make it. But I sure hope he does!

The Gauntlet

It's Brooke v. Jillian in the female gauntlet. Depending on who you ask, Brooke is either 40 or 70 pounds heavier than Jillian. LOL. Unfortunately for her, she's also an un-athletic loser psycho, so she's gone. No more faux lesbianism. And did Brooke say at the end that Ev made her realize she could find love with a man?? OK, Ev, get over it - Brooke ain't that into you.

John left in the male gauntlet. So no more naked Casey and John. John was bitchier than any of the chicks, whining about Evan wanting to go up against him. Also, Evan hugs and kisses dudes a lot. Hawt.

Love Her


Angelina is my hero! Damn I love her. Adopt me, please!
Oscar-winning actress Angelina Jolie is visiting Iraq to boost what she sees as lagging efforts to deal with the problems of 2 million "very very vulnerable" internally displaced people in the war-torn country.

"There doesn't seem to be a real coherent plan to help them," said Jolie, speaking in an exclusive interview with CNN's Arwa Damon Thursday.

"There's lots of goodwill. Lots of discussion, but there seems to be a lot of talk at the moment, and a lot of pieces that need to be put together. I'm trying to figure out what they are."

A goodwill ambassador for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, Jolie wants to find ways to help the agency be more active inside war-torn Iraq.

"How Iraq settles in the years to come is going to affect the entire Middle East," said Jolie. "It's in our best interest to address a humanitarian crisis on this scale because displacement can lead to a lot of instability and aggression.

Jolie has been working to help draw attention to the problem and has called for governments to bolster their support of the U.N.H.C.R. In August, Jolie first visited Iraq and Syria to get a sense of the problem. She heard stories from refugees and displaced people about their plight.

This visit to Iraq is focusing on the problems of the internally displaced, 58 percent of whom are under age 12. A top issue for the agency is getting better security. Jolie is talking with U.S. officials, including top U.S. Gen. David Petraeus, about that issue, and are willing to provide such security which she said "needs to be addressed and solved."

Love Them


My new favorite couple, Drustin.

Woah


Jennifer Lopez is hella fat now.

What's that? She's pregnant? With twins? Oh.

06 February 2008

Cast of Big Brother 9 Announced, Whiter Than Ever

OK, so I'll probably watch Big Brother again. It starts next Tuesday, the 12th. What's the wacky twist? How about "all singles." So even more horniness than usual I guess.

By the way, check out the pictures of the cast. That CBS sure is big on diversity. Jesus Christ, one black dude? And one person over 30? They look like a bunch of ugly losers. Maybe I should not watch the show as my way of boycotting. But I am sooo desperate for television these days.

Hot Update: Upon further investigation, surprise surprise - the only two reasonably attractive guys, Joshuah and Neil, are gay. The houseguests are being put into couples and there's not going to be any air conditioning. This could be the hottest Big Brother ever. I'm back in.

05 February 2008

Prison Break

Hey, guess what? The escapees encounter a snag that bumps up their escape schedule. No f-ing way! Really, it's true.

It rains and so their tunnel starts to form a sinkhole in the yard. So now they have to escape at night. The plan as I understand it is thus:

1. Linc knocks out the power.
2. Escapees run like hell.

I think that's it. Now the problem I have is how Linc knocks it out. He drives to the transformer/electric pole/whatever it is and I don't know what his plan originally was, but he sees a bus stop, hijacks the bus, and then drives it into the pole. How else was he planning on knocking it down? Brute gorilla strength?

There's a back-up generator, but Michael placed a call to Customer Service (never trust Customer Service) and was told there would be a 30-second delay. So they have 30 seconds to run, which is of course how this episode ends. I've got to hand this to Prison Break - they know how to wring the tension out of a scene.

T Bag and Mahone had a scene together which always equals goodness. But this show officially killed me when it had a typo in the subtitles. I'm pretty sure Lost had a typo early on that pissed me off, and now this. It was when the guard told Sucre "you're first" paycheck was ready. DAMMIT!

04 February 2008

My Favorite Car Super Bowl Ad

Me. Want. Audi. R8.

This car looks hot. And oh, I see, who's this driving one? Could it be Iron Man?


My Favorite Movie Super Bowl Ad

Iron Man is going to be the Greatest Movie of the Beginning of the Summer of 2008!

This ad is great - great music, flying, and the attitude he throws at that tank at the end?! Can't wait to see it!

My Favorite Super Bowl Ad

This one made me LOL, and I rewound it twice. As far as I'm concerned, you can't beat a - spoiler alert! - man-sized mouse beating a dude.

Reason No. 558 to Resolve the Writers' Strike

I've got my fingers crossed on this latest rumor that the strike will be resolved this week. In the meantime, I need some writers to get to work on this....

Actor Jason Bateman has confirmed plans are underway for a movie version of canceled TV sitcom Arrested Development. A rumored meeting between the star and series creator Mitch Hurwitz late last year fueled speculation a big-screen adaptation of the cult show was in the pipeline. And now the Juno star has confirmed the cast has received calls from executives asking if they would be interested in reviving their roles once the ongoing Hollywood writers strike is over. He tells E! News, "I can confirm that a round of sniffing has started. Any talk is targeting a post-strike situation, of course. I think, as always, that it's a question of whether the people with the money are willing to give our leader, Mitch Hurwitz, what he deserves for his participation. And I can speak for the cast when I say our fingers are crossed."

The Wire: Lying Liars Who Lie

I can't decide how I feel about this fake serial killer plot. It's totally over-the-top and ridiculous, and I can't believe that McNulty (not to mention Lester) would actually do it, but then again McNulty is a drunk and it did provide some funny moments this week. That a-hole lying journalist said he got a phone call from the "serial killer." The scene where he's telling McNulty about the call was classic. Then McNulty is all, "Yeah, the police got a call from him too." Oh good lord! They both know the other dude is lying and yet they keep burying themselves in BS. Great stuff.

Herc is my hero, for stealing Omar's cell phone number and giving it to the cops. Nice. Lester gets a wire tap, but I'm pretty sure the first communication was a text - not sure if he can track those.

Bubs doesn't have the hivvie. Thank god for small miracles. Omar = Batman. He had a great shoot-out with Marlo's people, thankfully didn't appear to be shot, leaped off the balcony and -- what? -- freaking disappeared! And we got Clay Davis to give us another "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet" which is always good - this one lasted 5 seconds (I rewound it a couple times)!

03 February 2008

The Little Twerp Did It!


Eli Manning, you have earned my respect. I shall pronounce it Elijah from here on out!

He really came through in the end, after a boring first half. Wow. When he got away from that sack and Tyree caught that ball (with the tips of his fingers, clutching it to his helmet, holding onto it while falling straight backwards)... amazing. Then Burress finally shows up when it matters for the game-winning touchdown. That was a great last quarter.

Add to it the sexy officiating of Mike Carey and it was almost perfect!

01 February 2008

The Real Reason Lost is Cool


Because I like to spend the next afternoon hunting down the clues on the internet. In other words, I let the real geeks do the heavy lifting.

Here's a freeze-frame of "Jacob" - the guy in the rocking chair in that cabin in the middle of nowhere. That's definitely Jack's dad, Christian. (Further proof: the actor's name was listed in the opening credits as a guest star.)

Like most things on Lost, I don't know what this means. It's just kinda cool.

This Dork Isn't Going to Beat the Patriots


OK, so I just found out what Eli Manning's full first name is. I think they want us to pronounce it "Elijah" but I'm no fool. His name is Elisha. Last time I checked, that's a girl's name and it's pronounced "Eleesha". Eli Manning = Elisha Cuthbert.

Due to this new information, I have my Super Bowl prediction:

Patriots 27 - Giants 10.

The Gauntlet: Aaaaawkwaaaaard

It's always awkward watching a dude get shot down when he's professing his love. Tyler wants Ryan; Ryan don't want Tyler. That was just great. And to make matters worse, Tyler loses in the Gauntlet and goes home. At least now Ryan doesn't have to feel harassed.

An hour of this show is overkill. Nothing happens, so why not just keep it at 30 minutes? Instead they give us 2 episodes at once. Spread the love out, man. Angel went home. Don't care.

The one thing that I did notice (thanks to Kim) is the quality of Robin's voice. Holy crap!!! Deepest. Voice. Ever.