I can't believe I'm staying up until 11 PM, but it's only because this show's been off the air so damn long, and I don't want to be spoiled. Better be good!
I watched the recap hour first because goddamn but I can't remember what happened yesterday let alone nearly a year ago on a confusing-ass show about time travel. I was so glad I watched it because it reminded me how good it was last year too.
Last we left the Island, a big bomb went off, with the goal of resetting time and getting everyone out of 1970-something. We open with everyone back on Oceanic Flight 815. But instead of crashing, they get some pretty standard turbulence. And also Desmond is on the plane, not down on the Island pressing the button. Jack seems aware that something's different - like he's getting déjà vu. And then we get our first view of the Island - totally under water, on the oceanic floor. Oh. Snap.
Next, Kate wakes up in a tree, looking the same as she did before, ears ringing from the bomb. Miles is with her. They're on the Island. And then OMFG Jack is there too!!!! OK, so now there are going to be 2 simultaneous and overlapping timelines!? I'm gonna have a stroke. Sawyer's there too, and pissed because Juliet's dead and the bomb didn't work.
Back to the Plane. Where everyone is - Sawyer, that science teacher dude, Kate in handcuffs, Hurley... again with the duplication because...
Back on the Island. Hurley is with a bleeding-out Sayid when Jacob shows up. Meanwhile, Jin meets up with Sawyer et al and they hear Juliet calling from the bottom of the pit she fell into.
Plane. We're back to old-fashioned dickhead Jin. And then Boone! BOONE!
Island. Locke is wiping Jacob's blood off of his knife. Ben walks to the beach and is shown Locke's body.
Other Side of the Island. Jacob tells Hurley that he died an hour ago. Hurley is very unfazed by this, all, "Sorry, dude." I suppose he's seen it all at this point. Jacob tells him to take Sayid to the Temple so he can be saved.
Plane. Charlie isn't breathing, and Jack and Sayid save him. He's choked on a balloon of heroin, the idiot.
Island. Everyone clears the rubble from the pit, and Sawyer makes his way down to the bottom. Juliet's alive, but can't be in good shape - that was a long-ass fall.
At the Beach. Everyone heads into the base of the statue looking for Jacob. Locke or "Locke" or whoever this is tells everyone that Jacob's dead. Jacob's bodyguards start shooting at him, and then "Locke" disappears, the Smoke Monster arriving in his place. Smokey kicks everyone's ass and leaves. Ben survives, and Locke comes back all, "I'm sorry they had to see me like that." So Locke or "Locke" is the Smoke Monster.
Island. I love Sawyer and Juliet so much. They're awesome. Juliet tells him she has something important to tell him, and then dies. R.I.P. Juliet. Now I feel the pain all over again. And Sawyer will have his revenge! Jack is a dead man!!!
Plane. The plane lands safely at LAX. I suppose it's worth noting at this point that Jack doesn't know where Desmond is, and we don't see him on the plane either.
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