24

This episode in a nutshell: Sergei has 2 fewer sons than he started the day with, and Starbuck spent 45 minutes of her very important work day outside the Rape Van, putting a silencer on her gun. Also, the soundtrack was kickass tonight.

It's midnight. Do you know where Jack Bauer is? He's with Sergei, and they're on the phone with David Anders offering him immunity. Um, that's a pretty sweet deal. Give up the rods and take it, man!

He never gets the chance because President Hassan's Brother With The Fabulous Hair has him shot. All the good bad-guys are dying, dammit! Mr. Silken Locks's pals tell him they want to use the rods against the Americans, since they can't get them out of the country. And if there's one thing I know, you can't let good nuclear rods go to waste!

But first they need a detonator. Great - time to involve yet another bad guy who will somehow ruin the plan! Instead, Silken Locks has a conscience, and calls CTU about the planned attack.

The President's Chief of Staff needs a scapegoat for CTU's screw-ups, and decides that Renee is it. He wants her stabbing of Vlad investigated. At midnight. Wow - the Justice Department wouldn't just wait til morning? Your tax dollars hard at work, people. The Justice Bitch thinks Renee was all about the revenge and not the self-defense. Bitch.

When Jack arrives at CTU, he knows they're setting Renee up to take the fall and he storms in and slams the Justice Bitch against a wall! OH SNAP! Jack thinks he owns this damn place and can walk in and tell people what to do. He's probably not wrong. He's all, "I'm gonna call the President." OH SNAP!

CTU's screw-ups are, as usual, caused by the screwed-up people who work there. Starbuck is stalking Rape Van Kevin & Pal with a gun, and Freddie Prinze commandeers a CTU vehicle to find her. Starbuck tells Freddie everything. No! Don't involve him in this murderous nonsense! He decides to just threaten them to get the hell out of the state and never come back. Or else!

As we know, Rape Van Kevin is the level-headed of this dynamic duo and decides to give in and go home, but his buddy stabs him and walks after Freddie. He shoots first - and hits the CTU vehicle, it's worth noting - but Freddie shoots last. R.I.P. Rape Van Kevin & Pal. Great, now Starbuck and Freddie are going to be covering up murders for the next 12 hours.

Since Freddie's out not-working, CTU is going to send that Red Shirt from last week to lead the mission to get Silken Locks. Jack has some snide remarks about Director Bubba's decision-making and says he'll lead the team -- if they drop the case against Renee. Bubba says he can do it -- if Jack's all-in, no more of this part-time bull. Jack puts the Jack Sack over his other shoulder -- and now it's on.