The Challenge: Cutthroat

I’m 2 episodes behind! Let’s go!

Dan’s starting to waver in his sobriety, and is thinking about drinking again. No, really? Can’t imagine how that would happen.... He calls his mommy to help him. Well, look at that – someone made a mature decision in the house! And even though I expect it not to hold, it does. For now anyway.

There’s a lot of gay oral sex talk going on, but tragically it’s just talk – a debate as to whether it’s gay or not. Yeah, Ty, it’s gay. So do it!

Blah blah swimming challenge is boring blah blah. Until Chet gets a concussion and goes white – and I mean WHITE – even for Chet. He looks like a zombie – it’s freaking awesome! And then of course the black dude can’t swim and Brandon has to be rescued in the water. Stop living up to stereotypes, man!

Ty does his usual thing where he overreacts and Emily does her usual thing where she eggs him on and then gets mad when he overreacts and a plant ends up in someone’s bed. Yawn. Someone slap somebody!

Gulag: Ty v. Brandon and Katie v. Camila.

Bye-bye: Katie and Ty. His team gets hella pissed when he just lays down but, um, it looked like he was literally exhausted. Just cuz he can’t turn as white as Chet did? Assholes. That’s 2 Blues down.

At the start of the next episode, Chet returns from the hospital, but is sent home because of his head injury. Bye-bye: Chet.

Since you’d assume Brandon loves to live up to stereotypes, the Red Team chooses him to do the part of the challenge that basically involves shooting a basketball. But Brandon shows those racists –– he doesn’t make any baskets. You go boy! The Gray Team wins just as they did last episode.

Gulag: Emily v. Melinda and Derrick v. Brandon. The Red Team sucks – just because their racist asses volunteered Brandon to shoot baskets, they blame him for their loss.

Brad gets his panties in a bunch because Camila voted for him, and of course Tori’s panties follow. So now they have it out for Camila. So what – Brad didn’t get sent to the Gulag anyway. That Red Team stinks.

Bye-bye: Melinda (duh) and Brandon (duh). Now the Red Team REALLY stinks.