24: Hour One

Jack's looking for the Bad Russian Assassin when he's harassed by some young hoodlum basketball players. He speaks to them in a language they understand - he flashes his gun and offers $100 for the guy's whereabouts. Luckily, in the midst of playing the game, these young lads took the time to focus on a guy who was dropped off by a taxi nearby. This leads Jack to the house where Bad Russian Assassin was holed up - and the couple he was with are naturally dead now.

Herc from The Wire - this season has the best casting! - is a cop who shows up to the dead people's house. When he sees Jack Bauer with a gun, he naturally thinks he's the bad guy and tasers Jack's ass. Herc has a bit of a bad attitude and is all about vigilante-style justice. And good lord, but he beats Jack half to hell. Bad idea, Herc!

Naturally, Jack gets the upper hand eventually. With the Cute Asian Cop's help, they figure out the couple must have been killed by the Bad Russian Assassin.

The Blonde Journalist tells Director Bubba she was banging President Hassan, and that's why she has a keycard to his residence. Bubba calls Hassan to verify this, and he does. Nice that he's so trusting that he immediately tells Bubba all his dirty laundry. His Brother With The Fabulous Hair is none too pleased about this confession.

The United Nations building is evacuated when CTU decrypts whatever information it was that they had last night. It is, of course, false information that was planted, and evacuating the building is all part of the Bad Russian Assassin's plan. He's going to blow up the outside of the building instead.

Agent Starbuck's Harasser From The Past is back, and shows up to CTU: NY. You know Kevin's bad news because he drives a blue Rape Van. He's all shady and (of course) vague and demands a place to crash. So she hands over the keys to her apartment. Starbuck isn't very smart on this show.

As Freddie Prinze, Jr. escorts Hassan out of the building, the manhole beneath their motorcade explodes. To be continued. NOW.