18 September 2012


OK let's see if I feel like blogging this.  I'd love for this show to be good, but I'm already thinking it will be craptastic.

The heroine's name is Charlie.  Right off the bat, I have a problem with this show.  Charlie as a girl's name is soooooo 5 years ago.

The power goes out.  But not just the power, car electrical systems too.  Man, we can't even have batteries?  Everyone's screwed.  Welcome to my worst nightmare - no air conditioning or television.

Now it's 15 years later and we're back to ye olden times, where all the kids look Amish except for Charlie, who's now hot.  No one could figure out how to get electricity working? Really?  There wasn't some workaround someone could devise?

Charlie and her dad live in a little makeshift village, her mom having died a few years back. OR DID SHE?

Gus Fring comes riding into town on a horse with a posse loaded up with bows and arrows, because Gus Fring is a badass.  He's looking for Charlie's Dad and Charlie's Dad's brother a/k/a Bella's Dad.  (Team Bella's Dad!)  When Charlie's Brother, Danny, gets pissed and threatens Gus, chaos ensues, Danny is taken away by Gus, and Charlie's Dad is shot and killed, dying with enough time to tell Charlie to find Bella's Dad in Chicago.

Charlie, her stepmom-ish person, and the Nerdy Hipster Guy head out of the village.  You know, for the power being out, people sure don't look very dirty.  Nerdy Hipster Guy earns his nickname -- turns out he used to work for Google and was worth $80 million.  Well then, his life sucks now.  Did I mention NHG was given an emulet/flash drive by Charlie's Dad and that it contains something ~*~secretive~*~?  The trio make it to O'Hare and take a nap on a crashed plane, are attacked by randoms, and are saved by a dark, "handsome" stranger, Nate.

In 15 years would Wrigley Field already be overgrown with forest, like an ancient ruin?  I just don't buy it.  Chicago's looking hella old time, part Wild West, part Renaissance -- it's a weird vibe.  They find Bella's Dad easily enough, tending bar.  See -- there are bars. They can make booze?  I find it hard to believe cities would just be overrun with flora and fauna.  But I guess we have our priorities straight.

Gus works for whoever is in charge of the militia and they want to know how to get the power back on.  They think Charlie's Dad and Bella's Dad both knew why it went off and how to fix it.  Bella's Dad is the kind of guy who plays by his own rules and doesn't want to help Charlie.  Oh and Nate ends up being militia.  He comes back to get Bella's Dad with a bunch of militia thugs.  Too bad for them Bella's Dad is a goddamn ninja assassin.  He kills them all except Nate, who saves Charlie from a soldier and then runs off.  Okaaaayyyy.

Monroe, the Head Militia Dude? Used to be Bella's Dad's BFF.  He's in a big tented camp, with ice in his drink so that bastard figured something out.

OK, so Danny is a boring pain in the ass.  I mean, dull and stupid. He escapes from Gus Fring but then is recaptured by Gus.  I can already tell he's going to be the lamest thing ever.  Also, Charlie is pretty damn boring herself.  I'll watch for Bella's Dad, Nerdy Hipster Guy, and Gus Fring.

Oh wait - the dun-dun-DUN moment -- When Danny was escaped for 4 minutes he was taken in by some random chick.  That chick turns out to have her own emulet/flash drive thing, puts it in a computer, and types out a message: "The militia was here."  See?  Dun-dun-DUNNNNNN.

No comments: