Last week still hurts. R.I.P. Mike. But thank you, Vince Gilligan, for giving me Jonathan Banks. Love.
I think all Breaking Bad finales should fall on holiday eves. I probably won't be able to sleep afterward anyway, might as well get the day off.
Mike's in the trunk and it's up to Walter and Todd to give him the ol' acid-and-barrel funeral. Sooner or later, everyone ends up in a barrel. Jesse shows up, but doesn't see Mike. Walter says he's handling the situation with the 9 guys in prison. Jesse really needs to just leave the ABQ. Sweetie, seriously, just go. Now.
Dennis the laundry manager is ready to make a deal with Hank.
Heisenberg walks in to a restaurant to meet with Lydia, sunglasses and all. Walt's there to get the list of names. Really, dude? What are you going to do, kill them all? Ass. But first, Lydia lays out a business plan -- she's ready to take this thing international -- time to bring meth to the Czech Republic. He's in. She gives him the names. Walter had the ricin capsule under his hat the whole time. But I guess the prospect of international diversification was enough to allow Lydia to live. The ricin capsule goes back behind an electrical outlet faceplate.
Remember Todd's uncle with the prison connections? That's who's tapped to kill off all the dudes. He and his boys (including Devil!!) make the plans to hit the guys in all their separate prisons. Whacking bin Laden wasn't this complicated. Everyone gets viciously shivved, except Dennis, who gets burned the eff up.
Walter's at Marie's with the baby when Hank comes home, despondent that his case just got effed. Poor Hank. I officially want him to find Walter out and win.
Time for a back-to-business montage. Walter and Todd cook, Lydia flies the meth out of the country, and Skyler launders the fat stacks. Rinse, repeat. 3 months passes. Marie's ready for the kids to go home already. Marie's a saint. I wouldn't watch my sister's effing kids for 3 months just so she can run a car wash.
Skyler takes Walter to a storage facility. Inside is all the money she can't launder. Tons of it. She doesn't even know how much there is. Fat. Stacks. She wants her kids and her life back, so she wants Walter to see that he has enough goddamn money already.
When we get back from break, Walter's at the doctor again. No follow up on that yet.
Just when I was hoping Jesse would just disappear from the story altogether (because that's actual preferable to how things are probably going to end), Walter pays him a visit. There's a bong so he's getting high again. :(
The boys reminisce about their RV. Oh man, those were some good times. Walter gives Jesse his $5 million. That's true love right there.
We see Jesse had a gun on him the whole time. You know, just in cases. Walter goes home and tells Skyler, "I'm out." Man, don't you wish the show would just end here? I kind of do. Except not really. Because I'm a glutton for punishment and I was to sufferrrrrrr.
Hank goes to take a crap during dinner at the White house. And what does he find on the back of the toilet? Leaves of Grass, inscribed to W.W. from G.B. OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT SONNNNNNNN IT'S ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!