When we last left Walter, he was claiming everyone would win. But we know better, right? Mike drives the Three Musketeers out into the desert to meet the methylamine buyers. Or would-be buyers, as Walter tells them they can't have it. But he offers them 35% of his business if they work as his distributors. He makes Classic Coke, not their generic-cola, dyed-blue crap.
Mike gets his $5 million and Declan's crew gets his share of the business. Jesse tries to remind Walter that he's out too, but Walter wants a transition period. Even in the meth business, you gotta give your two weeks' notice. Poor kid ain't getting out....
Mike says his goodbyes and tells the guys to get the bug out of Hank's office. The attorney distributes the legacy costs to his guys' safety deposit boxes, and leaves a big old stack in a box for Mike's granddaughter's 18th birthday. Mike overhears the DEA saying they have a search warrant, so he tosses his laptop and a million guns into a well and parks a car at the airport.
Back to poor Jesse... Walter just won't let him talk. Walter wants to give Jesse his own lab and his own cook so they can cook twice as much. Jesse wants out. Walter asks him what he'd do other than video games and go-karts, and probably using drugs again. Jesus. Walter says Jesse shouldn't have the money, because it's filthy blood money, right? So why not stay and make more? Jesse doesn't need your money, asshole!! Jesse awesomely walks out while Walter stands alone, yelling that he's getting nothing.
Walter starts a cook with Todd. Oh god. Those 2 deserve each other.
Over in DEA land, Hank's not doing so great at the new job, not timely filing his reports and wasting time on Mike. He decides to start tracking the attorney instead. The attorney makes another drop at the bank, but this time Gomez is waiting for him. Drat. Walter pays Hank a visit to cry some more about Skyler and then remove the bugs. He also overhears Gomez tell Hank that the attorney is going to flip and give up Mike. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! This can only mean one thing....
Walter gives Mike the heads-up that the DEA is coming to get him at the park where he's watching his granddaughter, then he and Jesse meet with Saul to review options. Saul's hilariously offended that Mike used another lawyer to move the money. Mike calls and asks Saul to get his go-bag from the airport parking garage. Jesse wants to deliver it because he's sweet, but Walter does. There's a gun in the bag. Of course there is. Christ on a bike I can't watch this!!!
Walter wants the names of Mike's guys, but Mike just lays Walter out for ruining the good thing they all had going. Of course Walter runs after Mike and shoots him. They made me all excited too, thinking he was getting away. Instead, Mike just sits by a river, bleeding out. Walter finds him and is all, Oh nevermind, Lydia has the names, I can get them from her. Mike tells him to shut up so he can die in peace. Awesome til the end. Mike falls over. I am sad.
R.I.P. Mike you were THE SHIT!!!