26 August 2012
It's Hurricane Isaac weekend here in South Florida, so what better time to catch up on a buttload of movies before being trapped in your house for a day or 2? P.S.: That picture of Isaac is from Wednesday's forecast, when he was destined for my house. Now we're pretty much just getting a Tropical Storm. Being the movie geek I am, I paraphrased Lt. Aldo Raine from Inglourious Basterds yesterday when I said, "More like rained on. I've been rained on before." I think I'm going to have to watch that movie again today....
First up on Friday night was Premium Rush. This is a movie about EXTREME bike messengers. Really. It's fine. I mean, was it supposed to be amazing? No. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt's in it and he's pretty. Unfortunately for the movie, biking looks ridiculous when you see a lot of it. I mean, his little legs moving up and down the whole time. It's comical. Also, on bikes, no matter how fast they're going -- they're still bikes! So slow "chases." And WTF is up with Michael Shannon and his scenery-chewing bullshit? I know he's supposed to be a good actor, but I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Was he doing it tongue-in-cheek or was he being serious? Either way, ick. Also, the musical score was awful and when a movie score stands out that's bad -- you're not supposed to notice it. It was bizarre. Anyway, it was fine.
Next up on Saturday was the very definition of an EXTREME action movie - The Expendables 2. Dude. I mean, you sit there rolling your eyes at the dialogue and yet who gives a shit when you have Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting side-by-side and mowing down guys with machine guns? And you get 3 awesome Jean-Claude Van Damme roundhouse kicks. How can you not love that? Stallone fighting with chains. Statham throwing knives. Then Chuck Norris rolls in totally randomly and makes Chuck Norris jokes. Everyone saying each other's catch phrases. (OK, that's I can do without.) It's a fun movie to watch. If you don't pop a couple boners during it, you're not human.
I closed out the weekend seeing The Bourne Legacy again because Mike hadn't seen it yet, and it could have been my last night on earth so I wanted to spend it wisely. I liked it better the second time, likely because I knew to expect a slow start and less Jeremy Renner than you would think a Jeremy Renner movie would contain. Of all of these EXTREME movies, this one is definitely the most realistic. Those old guys don't do their own stunts in the same way Renner does. JCVD's roundhouse kicks were done in such a way that I pictured him doing one, then taking a 15 minute break, then doing the next one. Punch, break, punch, break, duck, break, heavily edit. The old men just aren't as ferocious as they used to be.