The Aztec is back, baby!!!! That thing just won't die. And Walter must have amazing insurance. The Heisenberg hat is inside too. Walt sells the car to the body shop for $50 and gets himself a shiny black pimpmobile, and gets Walt Jr. a red Challenger. Jesus Christ. He makes me so mad. Last week he was so concerned about his money. Keep showing off money you're not supposed to have. Idiot. Skyler wants to send Junior to boarding school, to get him out of this hell they live in.
Walt's all, it's smooth sailing from here on out, there's nothing to be afraid of. "Life is good." Dummy. He wants to have himself a birthday party. (So we're a year out from where the series started now. Eventful year. Also a year away from the first teaser from this season.)
Hank and Gomez come to Madrigal to talk to Lydia. She gives up a foreman they're looking for, and then screams into a pillow. This bitch is real crazy; she put on 2 different shoes this morning. The poor nervous wreck. The DEA's putting surveillance on Mike, and have discovered the blue meth back on the streets. Hank is invited to put in an application for his former boss's position, but he'd have to give up all investigations, including Fring.
Walter comes home from work expecting a birthday party he doesn't get. Ha! Ass. He just gets Marie and Hank over for dinner. On the drive over, Marie tells Hank about Skyler and Ted because of course she can't keep her mouth shut. Lots of painfully awkward silences at dinner. Just douchechills. Skyler gets up while Walt is talking and stands behind him at the pool. The whole time he's talking I am sure she's going to throw herself to the bottom. Sure enough, she eventually walks into the pool and stays under until Walt jumps in and pulls her out. Happy birthday, asshole.
With the foreman/chemical delivery guy out of commission, Jesse comes to Lydia's warehouse to get the methalmine. When he's taking the barrel down off the shelf, Lydia's OCD ass sees something on the bottom - a GPS tracker stuck to it. It's the barrel that she removed from inventory, so it's the only barrel they can have.
Ten bucks says Walter puts Skyler in an institution and gets her electroshock therapy, Homeland-style. He can't have an unstable wife threatening his whole operation. Bitch has to go. Marie and Hank offer (at Skyler's suggestion) to take the kids for a couple days so Walter and Skyler can "work things out." Skyler actually stands up for herself against Walt, saying he'll never have the kids back in the house. "What are you going to do to stop it?" he asks. And he indeed threatens to have her committed, then she counters with a threat to claim spousal abuse. She doesn't have a long-term solution, and he refuses to let her win. She says she'll just wait -- for the cancer to come back and kill him. For the first time EVER, I'll all TEAM SKYLER, BITCH! Great scene.
So now we have the methalmine problem to deal with. Mike's suspicious about the tracker -- sloppy police work, and did any other barrels have the tracker on them? He thinks it was Lydia's ass, so she could get out of the business. Mike says he'll take his business elsewhere indeed -- after he leaves her alone in a ditch. Jesse doesn't want her killed, and Walter vetoes Mike decision because they need to keep the methalmine flowing, can't afford to slow production.
Poor, misguided Jesse gets Walter a Rolex for his birthday. Walter just doesn't deserve him. He comes home and shows the watch to Skyler, saying it was a present from someone who wanted him dead too not so long ago. So now because Jesse is sweet and naive and dumb enough to change his mind about Walt, she's supposed to? Screw you, Walter White!!! He officially makes my skin crawl.
Next week, the guys have to pull a freaking heist to get methalmine???? This isn't The Town!!! They aren't made for this!