Earlier this week, I saw a still from this episode of Jesse having dinner with The Whites. It blew my mind. OMG LET'S DO THIS!
But first, it's time for Walter, Mike, and Todd to unload the truck from last week's heist, including that nosy motorbike kid's body. The bike and the body get the usual dissolve-in-a-drum treatment. They take apart the bike piece by piece and all you can think about is how they're going to be taking apart that body. Or maybe he'll be able to just fit right in. Jesse's outside the whole time. When Todd comes out and gives him a casual, "Shit happens, huh?" Jesse punches him in the face.
The Four Musketeers have a meeting (trial?) where Todd pleads that he had no other choice. He's sorry and all, but doesn't think he did anything wrong since he was protecting the team and the business. He's essentially using this like a job interview, looking for a promotion. He has an uncle with prison connections, and he wants to be a full partner. Walter's options: 1. Fire Todd. He knows way too much. 2. Dispose of Todd. Of course Jesse would never let that happen. 3. Keep Todd. That's the only way to go. But that kid is going to be the death of everyone, isn't he?
The DEA is tailing Mike, but of course Mike is aware of it. He leaves a "dead drop" for them -- a note that says, "F**k you."
While Jesse and Walter are cooking, they see a report on the news about the missing motorbike kid. Walter needs him to soldier on, whistle while he works like Walter does. After all, they have everything they need for the next year. Everything's going to be so perfect, right? Oy.
Once the batch is done, Walter joins Mike and Jesse for a late night pow-wow. Mike says the feds are getting too close to him so Walter flies off the handle. Then Mike says he's out. "Sorry to see you go, Mike." Horse's ass. Walter says Jesse will have to take over distribution. Only... Jesse's out too. I WISH THIS WERE THE ENDING I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!! Mike already has plans to sell their shares of the methylamine. They'll each get $5 million. Guess who this isn't good enough for?
Mike meets with the people Walt refers to as his competition to sell the methylamine, but the guy only wants to buy if the blue meth will be off the market entirely. He wants the full amount of methylamine. They can't promise that, since Walt plans to keep cooking.....
Jesse comes to Walt's house to try to sell him on the methylamine deal. $5 million, no one else gets killed, isn't this perfect? Walter says he hasn't been working this hard just to sell out. OY! His dumb ass brings up Gray Matter, the company he took a $5000 buyout from that is now worth billions. That's his fault. Ass. "I'm in the empire business." I. HATE. YOU.
Skyler comes home and they all sit down for dinner. Because, of course, Skyler will be as compliant as Walter wants her to be, and Walt is quite satisfied to show that off. It's the Greatest Family Dinner Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesse is hysterical and Skyler is downing large glasses of wine. Skyler's all, "Did you tell him about my affair, too?" OMG IT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!! Once she leaves the table, Walter goes, "Do you know my kids are gone?" and Jesse says, "Thank god" in the quickest, greatest way possible. He did NOT need more awkwardness. Walt tells Jesse that he has nothing left but the business "and you want to take it away from me." You're always the martyr, right, Walter? Everyone's always persecuting you? UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Walter goes to the office to take his methylamine, where Mike is there to sit on him all night and make sure he doesn't interfere with the methylamine deal. In the morning, Mike chains Walter's hand to the radiator so he can go take care of something. Well, that was dumb, since Walt finds a way out, using exposed wires to burn through the plastic strap on his wrist. Barely seems to feel the pain.
Mike's with Saul, who is meeting with Gomez and Hank, accusing the DEA of harassment for all their surveillance. He's filing a restraining order. And when Mike comes back to the office? The methylamine is gone and Jesse's there with Walter. Walter has a proposal: "Everybody wins." WHY DO I KNOW THAT YOU'RE LYING?????????