We open with a kid zipping through the desert on his motorbike. He finds a giant tarantula and puts it in a jar. End of teaser. Okaaayyyy.
Hank's moving into his new office and gets a visit from Walter. Hank notices his Rolex right off. Keep being a sloppy showoff, Walter! Walter starts crying in front of Hank, saying Skyler doesn't love him anymore and thinks he's a bad father. Hank can't deal with real emotions and leaves to get Walter some coffee. Which is exactly what the Master Manipulator wanted, because he puts some kind of tap on Hank's computer and a bug in his picture frame.
The Three Musketeers have Lydia handcuffed to a table in some empty warehouse. Mike makes her call Hank's office and tell him that she discovered the tracking device on the methylamine. After she hangs up, the bug in Hank's office tells them that the DEA had nothing to do with it... but the cops did. So Lydia narrowly avoids execution. And she knows where they can get "an ocean" of methylamine. Time for a train robbery!!
Mike thinks there's no choice but to kill the train crew, so as to prevent authorities from being alerted immediately. And Walter won't let them switch to a pseudo cook because they won't make enough money. As his parents argue back and forth, Jesse comes up with the real plan.
Todd is let into the inner circle, helping them rig up tanks in the desert to siphon the methylamine from the tanker car while replacing it with water. Bill Burr helps out by flagging down the train, pretending to be a motorist stranded on the tracks. This is bold as shit, them doing it in the daytime, plus it takes a while. It's tense as shit. Also -- 10 bucks says that tarantula kid is going to be a witness and will have to be killed. Goddammit.
Bill Burr's truck is cleared off of the tracks faster than anyone wants it to be, but Walter waits til the last possible second to stop his siphoning operation so he can be as precise as possible. Jesse has to lie under the train as it starts moving, and Todd has to jump off. Jesus Christ. I was quite literally biting my fingers. Jesse celebrates their success with his customary, "Yeah bitch!" And then we hear the dirtbike. And the kid waves at them. And this cannot stand. Todd is the one to grab a gun and shoot the kid in the face. Holy shit. I actually called that it would be him and not Walter. Something about that kid. He's solidifying his place among the crew. This will be interesting.