Total Recall

I didn't expect Total Recall to change the world.  I just wanted some entertainment.  And I got it.  Full disclosure: I've never seen the original movie and I certainly haven't read the story on which it's based.  So I couldn't tell you dick about how they compare.

It's one of those cool, dumb action movies, where it's always dark and rainy and people walk around without umbrellas.  And there's a metric ton of bloodless gun fights, and panes of glass shatter every 15 seconds.  And then there's the story which, I don't know, is confusing as hell, but thinks it's intellectual. 

Also, there's Bryan Cranston.  Now I had already seen a review that said he was in it for 5 minutes, so I knew not to expect much.  Cuz, yeah, he's in it for like 4 1/2 minutes.  But he owns every one of those 270 seconds.  I really do wish we'd seen more of him.  He rules, plain and simple.  But we do also get 2 of the most gorgeous women on the planet - Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale.  With their athleticism and long, wavy brown locks - what's not to love?  When Colin Farrell is the 4th reason to see a movie, you know it's stacked with goodness.

It won't be a complete waste of your time, I promise.  If it's storming like it was here today, or hot as hell like it also was here today, you've already seen The Dark Knight Rises twice, and the Olympics are currently offering female weight lifting, there are worse things to watch.