25 September 2012


We start with a one-week-before-the-blackout flashback and intersperse them during the show.  Oh, so this show wants to be Lost.

Bella's Dad really enjoys sword fighting.  I suppose it makes sense - bows and arrows and swords because guns are banned by the Militia or whatever.  Plus it just looks cool, which is really what I think this show is all about.  Authenticity? Nope.

They're in one of those bizarre bazaars - really, people sell spices on the street - when Bella's Dad starts fighting guys for reasons that weren't apparent to me.  Then he ditches the group for 2 weeks so he can track down a woman.  Only he can't get away from Miss Persistence, Charlie, who takes off after him.  That Quasi-Militia Guy Nate conveniently runs into her.  "Why'd you save me?" Because he wants to bone you, dummy.  This Charlie chick is really obsessed with her dingbat brother.  He looks like the biggest douche on the planet.  He can't be worth all of this trouble.

Gus Fring is such a badass that when he finds a guy with a gun and an American flag he burns it all up.  Gus Fring hates America!  He's also way too good for this show.

Monroe the Head Militia Dude is the guy from the shitty show The Cape.  He's an asshole too, stabbing a guy in the guts and trying to track down rebels.  And he has a team of prisoner/slaves pulling a helicopter.  Blah blah he's evil.  Nora, the chick Bella's Dad is looking for, is A) hot B) wearing a tank top her boobs fall out of and C) one of those prisoner/slaves.  Bella's Dad, Charlie, and Nora team up to kill all the guards, free the slaves, and get weapons for the Rebels -- with even more ultra-cool sword fighting. 

Nerdy Hipster Guy is left with Dull British Stepmom to try to find the woman he's supposed to give the Mystical Flash Drive to.  Too bad someone named Randall tracks her down first -- and he's got an electrical current.  The horror!

Monroe has Charlie's Mom prisoner, but the nice kind of prison where she gets to apparently shower, wear nice clothes, write with fountain pens, and have ice.  And I guess that was meant to be some kind of revelation, because the shows ends there.  Well now, that wasn't very exciting, was it?

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