04 November 2011

Top Chef: Texas

They're starting out with like 29 contestants, so this is the episode where it gets narrowed down to 16.  I automatically want the dude who looks like he just got out of prison - massive neck tattoo and all.  He might shiv someone this season.  Most of these chicks look like the kind of girl who would help Buffalo Bill get a sofa in his van.  Woudja?

Qualifying Challenge: They are divided into 3 groups. 

1.  Prepare a dish using an assigned cut of a pig.  The vegan chef is in this group.  Mmmmm.  Pig.  Tom kicks out one contestant mid-cook because he's bad at butchering.  The vegan dummy can't pour soup without spilling it all over the plates.  AHAHAHA bye, dummy.

Making it to the competition from this group: The Dude Whose Eyes Are Barely Open, a couple Buffalo Bill Victims, The Black Chick, Awful Mohawk and Facial Hair Guy.  My prison inmate doesn't make it!  Oh shit, someone's dead now.

2.  Prepare a dish using the same ingredient.  And the ingredient they choose: rabbit.  In their defense, there was a lot of nasty stuff to choose from.

Making it to the competition from this group: The Plain Girl, The Big Black Guy Who Actually WAS a Prisoner (I like him), Aging Goth Chick, Creepy Tall Bald Guy, GQ Boy, and The Little Mexican Abed.

There are some people on the bubble who need to prove themselves further, including The Chinese Guy From Kentucky.  Aaaaaand the show abruptly ends.  Weird.  So we get Group 3 and the "On the Bubble" people next week?  Just cut to the chase already!

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