On the show's drive to Dallas, they're pulled over by State Troopers... and here comes your Quickfire Challenge: Create a dish using ingredients from an emergency-survival kit. They have to cook in the middle of a field, and there's not much in the way of utensils and only little camping stoves. Lindsay wins with her "soup and sandwich" - using Vienna Sausages and a "club sandwich" made with Saltines instead of bread.
Elimination Challenge: Create a course for a progressive dinner party, some douchey thing that neighbors who like each other do - move from house to house eating a different course in each one. The houses are crazy-big and the husbands are all ugly as hell, so clearly they have money and these are their high-maintenance trophy wives. Ick. I'm not trying to watch The Real Housewives of Dallas here, goddammit.
A lot of the appetizers look great -- except for Chris's nasty thing that's supposed to look like a burning cigar. Stop trying to be cute about it. I want the artichokes and the Brussels sprouts like mad.
The entrees are all pretty standard and boring. Now it's time for the desserts, which are always death on this show. Blonde Chris serves mint chocolate chip ice cream with a strawberry/banana cupcake? Really!? A couple desserts make it in the Top Four, along with my artichokes and Brussels sprouts.
Winner: Paul for those amazing Brussels sprouts. I'm hungry.
Bye-bye: Chuy for some overcooked salmon. Now that's some BS!! I love him and either of the Chrises and their nastiness needed to go!
Revelation of the Day: Blonde Chris used to be a fat douche. Now he's just a douche.