Fast & Furious 6

Is it a ringing endorsement to say that Fast & Furious 6 is the least disappointing movie of the summer?  It should be.  Because after feeling decent-but-not-wowed over Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, this movie was every bit as awesome as I expected it to be.

Can't go wrong with racing and big dudes fighting (The Rock and Vin Diesel - as good as it gets!) and girls being tough and chases and guns and explosions.  The movie totally dragged a bit in the middle and yet is still the most fun I've had at the movies this summer.  Until I see Pacific Rim and This is the End.

Star Trek Into Darkness

OK, so. Star Trek Into Darkness. Saw it Thursday.  And if you haven't seen it by now, you don't really care about it, and so I'll have spoilers here. But they're not a big deal, really.

First off, I chose that photo because Benedict Cumberbatch owns the movie. I love him in Sherlock and he's a pretty slick bad guy. He'd be in good in Marvel movies as a villain. Not that his character here is developed much, but he's just cool. Also, he's Khan. But who cares. It's just a name, really.  A name and some slick, long coats.  The Khan "reveal" has been rumored for like a year and once it's actually done, you pretty much just go, "So what?"  Moving on.

I've seen all of the previous Star Trek movies, but don't remember them much beyond that one about the whales where Spock is playing a boom box on a bus. Or something.  I like this cast a lot and they're just as good in this one as the first.  Just when I think I like Bones the best I end up liking Scotty the best.  The movie feels like a ride at Disney World - in a good way.  The kind where you're jostled around and ships crash and explode in front of you.  Good fun.  There are funny lines and good chemistry amongst the cast. 

But there are also plot holes or at least "plot what-the-effs"?  Transporters that work only when it's convenient and don't work when the writers didn't want them to.  The use of Transporters makes no sense the entire time.  It's the kind of thing that didn't bother me til after the movie though.  Maybe Transporters are glitchy things.  And Spock is a stickler for the rules when it's convenient but he conveniently isn't when something needs to happen.

Again, I don't remember much about the old movies, but things in this movie are switched around.  Like, instead of happening to Spock like in the original, they happen to Kirk.  It's that whole other-timeline thing that keeps things interesting.

After stewing on it for a few days, it might be just as good as the first one.  Maybe the first one seemed better because it was brand new.  Oh also - the plot holes.  Final rating: not as good as the first, but better than Iron Man 3.

Iron Man 3

You know, now that I look at this poster, I should have suspected that I wouldn't love Iron Man 3.  Because I generally don't like chicks, and I certainly don't like chicks in my superhero movies.  Particularly when they're played by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Iron Man 3 had too much Paltrow.  Actually, the punnier thing to say is that it had too much Pepper for my taste.  She shouldn't be 2nd-billed and prominent on the damn poster either.

Now, I still mostly enjoyed the movie.  A crappy Marvel movie is like a crappy cup of coffee -- it still isn't the worst thing ever and it still gets the job done.  Does that analogy work?  I'll like Marvel movies no matter what, but I should love them.

So what was wrong with Iron Man 3?  Besides a certain blonde.  My main problem is that Tony Stark doesn't have superpowers.  Sure, he has cool technology and I'll even buy the super-convenient secret projects that are activated at just the right time.  But he shouldn't have the ability to fight and slide down steel beams when he's not in his armor.

I just want a dark, alcoholic, womanizing, self-hating, tortured Tony Stark. Not one with a steady GF whom he calls "honey."  Tony Stark shouldn't be calling a chick "honey" unless it's derogatory and dripping with sarcasm. (Clearly I need to find some fan fiction. And yes, it can be the kind where Tony Stark and Bruce Banner are banging. I'm all-in on that idea.)

But I guess a dark take on Tony Stark isn't going to work for Disney.  So instead we basically get a shoot-em-up, high-tech action flick.

Also, without giving spoilers, I can't decide if the Mandarin thing is good or bad.  On one hand, I like the concept, on the other hand I wanted him to be an awesome villain.  The poop joke was bad, I know that much.

Long story short, it looks like I'm relying on Star Trek Into Darkness, Fast & Furious 6, and - most of all - Pacific Rim to make my summer.