Heroes

This Daphne-on-crutches stuff was funny last week. But now I just get another show tonight featuring a crippled person. Mike calls me Daphne now. Daphne, Jimmy from South Park ("What a great audience"), and Tiny Tim.

Claire's rushed to the hospital suffering a huge infection because she's never been sick before and her body can't fight the infection. Claire looks like ass. She goes into cardiac arrest and they freaking cut her chest open - drastic, no? And suddenly makes me even more wary of my impending surgery. The funniest part is where her mother is just watching from the window. Um. Her chest and guts are all open and all over the place, and she's watching relatively calmly? Ew.

Gabriel and Elle did it. Right there, in the house, on the bare floor. She's the mother of Little Noah, right? But then Bennet busts up the afterglow with his bigass gun. Mood killer. But I guess it's nice he let them finish.

Elle gets shot and Gabriel patches her up and sends her off so he can face Bennet alone. They have a monster fist fight, then Bennet slashes Gabriel's throat open.

The Petrellis break up a child sex slavery ring in Haiti. No really. Peter's really good with a freaking hugeass gun -- for a nurse.

But oh look - that nasty eclipse clears up just in time for everyone to get their powers back and for Claire and Gabriel to recover. How terribly convenient. But this also means Mohinder's scales are growing back. Sad horns.

Gabriel and Elle show up at the Bennet house, a little pissed. Bennet says Gabriel's not really a Petrelli, but Gabriel doesn't want to hear it and starts to return the slit-throat favor. Hiro shows up suddenly and teleports Gabriel, Elle, and Claire away. It looks like Sylar's back and killing Elle on a beach.

Then my DVR cuts off. Effer. I'll see if I missed anything on Hulu tomorrow.