Breaking Bad

We now interrupt The Emmys to watch Breaking Bad. (Quick Emmy note: Did you see the video with Jesse Pinkman on The Office? It was amazing. Tomorrow I'm going to find the video, link to it, and watch it 600 times. I wish it were real. OK - found this link, but the sound sucks. Still worth it!!)

As is tradition, we re-watch the previous week's episode of Breaking Bad before watching the new one. God, that fight was amazing. Watching it for the first time, I was so afraid someone was going to pull out a gun - I just wouldn't put it past this show to do. And now watching it again, when things are less tense, GODDAMN I HATE WALTER WHITE!!! This man doesn't realize what he's done to Jesse. Remember innocent, goofy little screw-up dimebagger Jesse? With the messy hair and baggy clothes? Now we have this cold, haunted, dark skinhead version of Jesse who wears kickass black leather jackets. And Walter doesn't care. Jesse's reaching out to him for help, plus warning Walter about the imminent cartel war -- and Walter can only think of himself. He doesn't realize what he's made this kid do for him and how it has impacted him. He doesn't trust Jesse after Jesse killed Gale for him? Walter stinks and even if it means Jesse has to become a career criminal, I'm all for Mike being Jesse's New Daddy. At any rate, I'm glad Jesse got to take out all of this frustration on Walter, since I wasn't able to.

OK - on with this week's episode. Mike, Jesse, and Gus board a prop plane in the middle of nowhere and Gus is holding a gift-wrapped box. Seriously? If this were the series finale I would be sure it contained Walter's head.

Walter himself is MIA so Skyler presents Walter Jr. with his 16th birthday present - a car. And it's a PT Cruiser - OK, that's hysterical!!! After the Charger? Nice ride, Junior.

The Three Amigos are blindfolded and taken to a Super Lab in Mexico where Jesse has to be the main dude and teach the formula. Go Jesse! At first he's thrown (he says he gets a chemical from "the barrel with the bee on it" whereas they expect him to synthesize it). But then he's awesome -- lectures them on the cleanliness of their lab, bosses them around, it's brilliant. He's so badass and Mike is so proud!!!!!! Gus too! Once Jesse passes his Cooking Exam, the Cartel tells him he's staying with them in Mexico. Wha??

Walter Jr. swings by Walter's place and Walter answers the door the only way I like him to -- bloodied, and in his tighty whities. His cover story to Junior is that he was gambling and got in a fight, and begs him not to tell Skyler. He starts crying and says he made a mistake and I'm hoping it's not an act on his part (though I'll bet it is) and that he's finally upset over what he did with Jesse. Walter Junior puts his dad to bed and Walter's all mumbling and out of it and he CALLS HIM JESSE!!! I "awwwwwwwed" loudly. OK, so maybe he meant it after all. Now just say it to Jesse, asshole.

Meanwhile, Saul meets with Ted Beneke -- to notify him of a "dead great-aunt" who has left him "an inheritance" -- i.e., Skyler is giving this asshole Walter's money!! It's the right decision though I guess -- can't have the government poking around in your stuff when you're a White. But really? Dead relative? Wonder if that'll stick. But the best part? Saul gets to be all, "I told you so" to Skyler because he brings her Ted's credit report - hours after getting the money, he leased a Mercedes. Ha! Love it! Ted's a freaking dirtbag and Skyler's plan didn't work -- she better let him have it. Ted doesn't want to take Skyler's advice - he wants to fight the IRS and get his business going instead. I kind of love that her plan has fallen apart and she doesn't have any control over the situation. But then Skyler can't resist - she tells him that she gave him the money. UGH!

The Three Amigos hang out by Don Eladio's pool, the site of Gus's BF's death so many years ago. Gus hands over Jesse as the new cook, like he's a bride or a slave, and then presents the boss with his gift -- tequila. I should mention at this point that, while looking at the pool wistfully, Gus took a pill. Mike (my husband, not the character) immediately goes -- "he took an antidote." Tequila shots proceed to be passed around all the Cartel guys. And Jesse can't drink because he's in recovery. OMFG MIKE IS RIGHT!!!!!! After a bit, everyone starts collapsing and Mike strangles the security guy. Gus pukes and is a bit affected by the poison, but walks out with Jesse and Mike's assistance.

I love this. Love it. How does Gus continue to be so goddamn brilliant? He took out the Cartel!!!!!!!!!!! It took 20 years but he got revenge! Jesse and Mike load Gus into a car -- and then a dude opens fire. He hits Mike and I scream, and then Jesse takes his ass out. He shoots him 100 times like he's playing his goddamn video game. Mike's still alive, so that's good. And Jesse the hero drives them away. Jesse. The Motherlovin' Hero. Who needs Walter White? Jesse = the man. Holy crap.

That episode was amazing.