She's Not Going to EAT Those, Is She?

Peanut M&Ms will make you fat.

The O-Dawg is in Town

Owen and his parents are visiting this weekend. I took him to the beach today so I could torture him. Owen doesn't like to be dirty, so he hates the sand - at first.

Then he got used to it and we even went for a walk along the water's edge. He liked sitting with me and watching the waves come up to his feet, and we went for a couple of swims too.
His parents are watching Harry Potter with Mike, so I've got to go get him from his nap and feed him lunch.

What is Happening to the World?

Fewer high school students are having sex these days, and more are using condoms. The teen birth rate has hit a record low. In 2005, 47 percent of high school students reported having sexual intercourse, down from 54 percent in 1991.

More young people are finishing high school, too, and more little kids are being read to, according to the latest government snapshot on the well-being of the nation's children.

Grasping For News

I have been grasping at something to post for the last two days. Nothing is happening! The world has come to a screeching halt. And I hate Harry Potter.

Because of people like this.

The Inferno Not-Quite Reunion

My television billed this as a Reunion, when it was in fact a Top 10 Countdown of greatest Inferno 3 moments. You know your countdown sucks when 7 of the moments revolve around Susie. All of the sudden Susie is a freaking raving bitch. Next time she should be on the Bad Asses not the Good Guys.

Some of the deleted footage was actually good! Johnny and Abram "washing" Susie's pajamas in the toilet was the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. Why wasn't that on the show?? They reviewed "unseen hookups". Again, why was this unseen? Kenny and Jenn, Alton and Janelle. Everyone was repulsed by Colie. And OMG Timmy's bleeding knees were horrific! 50 stitches! That's what he gets for kneeling in broken glass and not being John McClane, I guess.

Tonya turned out to be the most self-aware, admitting that these shows are her "life."

Hell's Kitchen Stinks

But there's nothing else going on either.

Melissa moved to the men's team. That leaves the girls' team with three retards, yet somehow they win. The fix was in on the reward challenge. What were they gonna do, have the guys win the photo shoot? And no amount of makeup can cover up Melissa's chin.

Goodbye to Scabby McGee, her gross chin, her Jersey hair, and her Jersey accent. She was good for a while but she all of the sudden turned into Robobitch.

There was no real good Chef Ramsay quote either; next week we get "That looks like baby vomit" though.

Who's the Hotter Dude?

Jack Nicholson, his moobs, or the Pussycat Dolls?

24 Gets Deader To Me

First comes the shocking news that I'm passing up the just-added 24 panel at Comic-Con in favor of a presentation by 20th Century Fox. And now this, from TV Guide:

Season 7 of 24 promises to be its most tense yet. At least on the set.

Execs at the Fox hit have scrapped virtually their entire story line for the season, delaying the start of production by roughly three weeks. According to sources, the 11th-hour time-out was called after the network put the kibosh on a costly plan to shoot a number of episodes in Africa. Producers briefly toyed with the idea of finding a location in Los Angeles that could sub for the continent, but they ultimately decided to ditch the whole concept and start over from scratch.

Mary Lynn Rajskub confirms that the clock for Day 7 has been reset. "I don't know what's going on over there, but they're going crazy," says the scene-stealer, who only learned last week that Chloe would even be returning. "We usually start [back up] at the end of July, and I don't think we're starting until a couple of weeks into August now. It's kind of exciting, because I think [the postponement] means that they're really having to dig in there and come up with new stuff."

The show's creative team was no doubt already feeling the pressure: Day 6 was considered to be about as explosive as a wet firecracker, so for Season 7 they really needed a plot that was incendiary. In fact, news of the setback comes on the same day the semiannual Television Week critics' poll named 24 the second worst show on TV, behind ABC's best-not-traveled October Road.

Copycats Are Lame

First everyone was nuts. Now they're crackers.

A small number of die-hard fans of NBC's recently canceled drama The Black Donnellys plans to ship nearly 300 pounds of Zesta crackers (about 45,000 crackers) to HBO executives beginning next week in hopes of persuading the premium cable outlet to pick up the moribund show.

Fans were inspired by the recent success of Jericho fans and vow to keep sending crackers to HBO as long as donations hold out. In June, Jericho fans inundated CBS with tons of nuts, eventually persuading the network to exhume the post-apocalypse drama after it was dropped from its fall schedule.

Donnellys fans said they selected Zesta crackers because they are featured in a lounge sign belonging to one of the show's main characters.

Copycats suck. But also, it would have been cooler if they had chosen crackers because the show is about white people. I thought that was why until I got to the last sentence.

Comic-Con Preliminary Schedule Released

I'm going to try to forget the things that I'm going to miss (Lost, Indiana Jones, Beowulf, Iron Man - all on Thursday!!). Let's just concentrate on the things I will have front-row seats to:

Shoot 'Em Up. Oh, yes, Clive Owen will be there. Expect to not hear from me for a while, as I will be locked up for jumping on him.

Kevin Smith.

The Simpsons.

Heroes: whole cast, creators, preview of next season.

And if Mike wants to, I will even endure the Smallville panel.

Help Me Out

Is this Zac Efron punk supposed to be hot? Girls really like him? Honestly? He looks trifling, and the tan is making me gag. What's the deal with this kid?

Elisha Is Officially Gorgeous Again!

Yay!

God Strike Me Down

This is the ugliest kid ever. He has a mustache!!!

Just a Nice Random Video

Campaign for a Better Inferno

It's time to focus on real issues. We need a better Inferno next time. This one started off strong, with a huge fight and ejection, but then there just wasn't any drama. And Cara and Susie's ditzy whining doesn't count. What's the problem here? Are these people MATURING?! Tonya made it til the end, but hasn't done anything worthwhile since like Episode 3.

Nice editing to make it look closer than it was. In close up shots, the teams were neck and neck. In the few long shots, the blue team was so far behind. Do better next time, MTV!

Ugliest Baby Contest

Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera are pregnant, and probably due around the same time. The question is which one will produce the ugliest baby? On one hand you have a genetic disaster of a father. On the other hand you have a skeleton who does drugs. YOU DECIDE!

New Simpsons Trailer

This is a Long Distance Dedication to Karen. This one is funnier than the first trailer. Can't beat Ralphie and Spider Pig.

Do You Have the Guts?

I DARE somebody to go see License to Wed. I knew it was going to be horrible from the trailer. Wait. I knew it was going to be horrible the moment I saw Robin Williams was in it. Mandy Moore deserves better.

Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye (Sing With Me)

KICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASSKICKASS
We went to the first showing of Transformers tonight at 8:00.
This movie was AWESOME! Look, it's not going to win any Oscars. But it had everything you could want in a summer movie based on a series of toys from your childhood. The effects are INCREDIBLE. Spoiler alert: cars turn into robots. Giant, awesome robots. And there are plenty of Michael Bay Camera Shots (TM). You know the ones: people stand up in front of smoke in slo-mo while the camera circles around them. Good stuff.

The audience laughed, cheered, and applauded. I wanted to give a standing ovation at one point. I think I clouded up a bit when Optimus Prime spoke for the first time. Only see this movie if you are prepared to have your mind blown for 2 1/2 hours. I'll be going back to see it again this week. It's definitely the best action movie of the summer so far, and WAY better than that Speederman crap.

I Thought These Crazy Kids Would Make It

I can't imagine why they broke up. They seem really perfect for each other.

The 3-year marriage of author Salman Rushdie and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi has ended, according to his rep. "Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage," spokeswoman Jin Auh said in a statement issued to Reuters.

Rushdie, 60, and Lakshmi, 36, were married in New York City in April 2004. It was the fourth marriage for the writer, whose previous three marriages also ended in divorce.