Ravens Take a #2 on the AFC

Super Bowl bound baby! Ravens get a bye, which is nice. But other games were a bit of a dagger. Dallas loses to the dreadful Lions, which is also nice. But T.O. makes an amazing catch, which angers me, but should make T.O.-apologist Houman happy. But he's not happy for long - DAGGER - the Broncos are taken out in the longest, most painful game ever. Sorry, dude.

Hop on the B-more train y'all! And go Seahawks!

Complete the Trifecta

OK, so celebrity deaths always happen in threes. We have James Brown and Gerald Ford. Who is next? And what is the connection among them? Would Saddam count if he dies this weekend?

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation

We arrived in Baltimore on Saturday afternoon. That night we had a great dinner with friends, most of whom we see only at the annual Christmas dinner. Sunday we drove to Pennsylvania for the day, where we exchanged gifts with my family and ate entirely too much good food. On Christmas Eve night, we took Ryan to Hamden. It's a Baltimore neighborhood that goes all out for the holidays. I mean All. Out. The lights were amazing and it was a nice night to walk around.



On Christmas, we exchanged gifts with Mike's family and ate entirely too much good food. That night we continued our tradition of joining the area Jews for Chinese food. Actually, we had sushi. I even tried some non-vegetarian stuff. I can't say I liked the fish, but I loved the scallops. We couldn't find a movie worth seeing, so we just watched a lot of movie trailers on the internet.

Yesterday morning we drove through the old Owings Mills 'hood, and had a bagel - we have yet to find a good bagel place in Florida. This was the greatest bagel of my life. Today we're back up in Pennsylvania for a few days. We're going to a basketball game tonight at my high school - the kids that I used to babysit for are now on the team. So that will be interesting, and I'm going to feel REALLY old.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas!

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Weekend

We're off to start our whirlwind tour of Maryland and Pennsylvania in a couple hours. Watch for us in your town!!!


This is the best picture I could get of our candy cane palm tree.



This is the house at night. The neighbors have icicle lights (which I despise), as does half the neighborhood.



And this is our Christmas tree.


I'll be gone til the 31st. If something important happens, like Lindsay Lohan dying, then I'll be sure to post it. Plus, I got a money Palm that has wireless internet so I may be experimenting with that.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!

Merry Christmas from Eric Cartman

I couldn't find the song online, but I heard this on the radio and LOVE it!

Stockings are hung on the chimney,
And the presents are under the tree,
And mama's in the kitchen
Making some herbal tea.

Windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight,
But as I wander through this quiet house,
Something just doesn't seem right.

You see, every year, the neighbors bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log.
But the neighbors aren't around (around, around)
There's no Beef Log to be found this year.

(No Beef Log)

Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log.
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get along.

Mother tries to comfort me;
She says "Here, Son, have some eggnog."
I fucking hate eggnog, seriously.

But what do I see
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me!
Ah, ah, ah, Grandma!!

Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!

A roly poly Colony Beef Log Baby,
Makes a little boy scream and shout!

Deck the halls with boughs of Swiss Colony!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!

Sweet!

Greatest Movie Review Headline Ever??

From CNN.com:

Night at the Museum, two hours in hell

So, um... no. I won't be seeing this.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

8:55 AM Yes, I am pathetic and I am going to be throwing myself my own birthday party!! I woke up early and worked out, but for the rest of the day I'm doing what I want to do! You know you're obsessed with food when you've been planning what you're going to eat on your birthday for a week.

My first birthday wishes came from Germany!! (Sorry, Karen, Houman beat you to it.) I'll let him explain why he's in Germany.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going out to get a Boston Cream Donut and a Soy Chai Latte....

10:15 AM ... and they were delicious. The drink even more so since my neighbor was working at Starbucks and didn't charge me! Holla! Tragically, I have to work a little from home today. So that people can get paid. I guess it's nice to have money during the holidays. So I'll do it.

11:25 AM My Birthday iTunes Playlist. OK, so here is the very eclectic mix of music I downloaded from iTunes today. They have a feature that selects songs they think you'd like and goddamnit if they weren't 75% correct. I got most of these songs based on the recommendations! I guess I'm predictable, at least in my love for '80's music.

Daughtry - the whole album (I guess he dropped the "Chris" - that's SO rock and roll)
Linkin Park's Reanimation album (it was the only way to get "My December" and I actually don't have this album anyway)
"Somebody Told Me" - The Killers
"Wise Up" - Aimee Mann
"Perfect Way" - Scritti Politti
"I Can't Wait" - Nu Shooz
"True Faith" - New Order
"Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor (because it will forever take me back to the Pizza Hut jukebox)
"How Soon is Now?" - The Smiths
"A Benihana Christmas" - The Office

3:30 PM What the hell have I been doing all afternoon? I did some pre-vacation DVR cleaning. Watched some Heroes and the documentary The Comedians of Comedy - very good by the way. Now I'm off to get my hair did.

6:00 PM Hair is done. Now I get the birthday meal I've wanted since I walked by Cheeburger Cheeburger and saw that they were making Peppermint Milkshakes. Count me in!! Can I put a candle in it? Maybe in the burger.

I Have Money ESP

OK, so most of my predictions came true. And Rocky Balboa IS a good movie. In fact, it's the corny, feel-good boxing movie of the year. The audience cheered several times. Of course, that just made me laugh. I can only imagine that if people here in Florida are cheering, audiences in Philly must be shooting at the screen. Even I got a kick out of seeing the Philly scenes - including some shots at Claudio's and the Italian Market.

Rocky Balboa is a good movie to see on Christmas if you're like me and you like to go out to eat Chinese food and watch a movie with the Jewish crowd.

Psychic Predictions: Rocky Balboa

So no secret that I flip-flopped on Rocky Balboa and now can't wait to see it. Have you noticed that the commercials now heavily feature Milo Ventimiglia? No? I have. Before Heroes, you barely knew he was in it.

Anyway, it's out today and I'll see it either tonight or tomorrow. The question is: will I actually like it? Spoiler alert: it's actually supposed to be really good! I thought I'd post these Amazing Predictions (TM) before seeing it:

Rocky will drink raw eggs.

Rocky will do pull-ups on a fence.

Rocky will lift heavy chains.

Rocky will hit some meat.

Get it, because he's poor and can't afford to work out in a real gym!

Wait a minute, shouldn't he be rich? I am a Rocky expert. While I haven't technically seen the other Rocky movies, isn't he a big-time boxer? Where'd that money go?

During the main fight at the end, it will look like Rocky is going to lose. Then he will look over at his crooked-lip son, who will be urging him to get up and fight (and maybe throw in Adrian's name there as motivation - you know something like, Do it for mom!), and will suddenly have the power to finish the fight and win. Or he'll die in the ring. Either one.

If he doesn't die, at the very end of the movie he will take his belt or whatever the hell boxers win to Adrian's grave. "See, baby, I did it for you. I wish you could have been here to see it." And....roll credits.

Nerd Alert: More Than Meets the Eye

Transformers trailer.

This movie will kick ass. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Vomit Alert: Cougar Edition

Sharon Stone and Christian Slater have confirmed rumors they're dating and now plan to spend Christmas together. The starry couple, who co-star in new movie Bobby, sparked romance rumors when they attended a string of events together, but refused to confirm their relationship. But now 48-year-old Stone and her 37-year-old beau aren't hiding their affections for each other - they recently attended a party for fashion label Dolce & Gabbana at the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Los Angeles arm-in-arm and made sure everyone knew they were a couple. A source close to Stone says, "They're both really happy - but they don't have long-term expectations. It's a fun fling for the holidays and Sharon is a good influence. She rarely drinks and has three kids. It's a good match for now."

Eeeew. 'Nuf said.

Rorschach Test: Christmas Edition

What do you see when you look at this picture? Does it remind anyone else of a scene from Clerks?

Photo courtesy: KP Photo Agency

iTunes Suggestions Sought

I received an iTunes gift certificate for an early birthday present (Teets rules!) and I'm open to suggestions for songs to download. Keep thinking I'm not going to download Chris Daughtry's album!! Of course I am!

I'm trying to keep myself from downloading Heroes episodes. I mean, really, will I watch them on a 2-inch iPod screen? Well, I do have some flights coming up....

Blind Item: Christmas Edition

What 16-month-old can't help pulling himself away from his toaster-oven-turned-drum-set to slip into the Yule Log Trance?

Comedians Rule Part II

For an early birthday present, last night Mike surprised me with tickets to see Doug Benson at the Miami Improv!!! Benson, aka The Pop Culture Bachelor, was really really funny. For some reason, this is the joke I remember (he was telling a series of bad jokes):

A woman and a man are in an elevator. The woman asks the man, "Can I smell your balls?" He says, "No." Then she says, "Oh, it must be your feet then."

Trust me, with his delivery, it was funnier than it might sound!!!

Merry Christmas from SNL

This is a great Digital Short. I have the song in my head now at all times!!

Click here, then click on Watch Video Now. It's worth waiting through the commercial. Enjoy!

Daybreak Dagger

I hate to say I told you so....

ABC had big plans for the sci-fi mess Daybreak as a fan-sating fill-in during the chancy 13-week midseason hiatus for Lost. With Taye Diggs as the star, a creepy Groundhog Day premise and a demanding serialized structure, the strongest thing Daybreak had going for it was the Lost teaser "nugget" buried in each episode. Just enough to keep viewers hanging in.

Daybreak was supposed to last through Dec. 27. But its rating were so appallingly miniscule this week, the show's been yanked early. Cancelled. As of now. In the bin with Show Me The Money.

Why 24 is Awesome

Thank god the producers of 24 have some GD sense....

Jennifer Aniston has been snubbed in her bid to land a guest spot on her favorite TV drama 24. The star reportedly put her name forward for a part in the show but producers turned her down flat - because she's "too recognizable."

Executive producer Joel Surnow says, "You can't put those people on (the show) because they're too recognizable. They'll take you (viewers) out of the reality."

Aniston wasn't the only big name to be turned down for a role in "24" by producers - funnyman Ben Stiller was also deemed too famous for the show, according to TV Guide.

That's My Boy!!

Goodbye to the nickname "Snaggletooth." Thanks to $50,000 worth of porcelain veneers and other dental work, and 20 sometimes-painful hours in the dentist's chair to fix his crossbite, American Idol underdog Elliott Yamin can't seem to wipe the smile off his face, PEOPLE reports in its new issue.

Hey, I never called him Snaggletooth - I called him Alf. I love the new bushy hair too!

The Office

I love a good Office Christmas. Probably the greatest thing I've ever seen is Michael marking his new Japanese "girlfriend" on the arm so that he can tell the difference between her and her Japanese friend. Only Michael Scott can have a rebound relationship that lasts 3 hours. Who did he invite to Jamaica over the phone? My guess is Jan or his mother.

Also great: Dwight singing Styx. You know they're the greatest arena rock band of the '80's, right?