I know what you're thinking. "You saw Max Payne? But doesn't it have like a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes? I thought it was your policy not to see anything rated less than 69%!?"
STFU. You're right, of course. But sometimes I make exceptions. Like when I figure it's the kind of movie critics won't like, but I'll still enjoy the mindless fun.
I did not, in fact, enjoy the mindless "fun" that is Max Payne. I went into this movie loving the trailers and the clips I had seen at Comic-Con. And expecting massive amounts of gun porn. Well, apparently I had seen all the good clips - and all the gun porn clips. BECAUSE THIS WAS NO GUN PORN!!!
OK, fine. You're entitled to wrap plot around a gun porn movie. Absolutely. But not boring plot!! I literally was struggling to keep my eyes open. The set-up was taking way too long. And then the payoff's not even good.
Ugh. This movie is a lot like Hitman - you think it's going to be gloriously stylized violence and it isn't. It gives you blue balls.
2 comments:
Damm
That is majorly dissapointing, especially after the trailers. I must say I was psyched about it, but backed off after seeing the reaction...
Kudos to you for being a girl who uses the term "blue balls" about yourself.
If I can save one person from being disappointed, then I have done my job.
And I stand by the idea that girls can both have blue balls and use the phrase "suck my balls". These are the things I believe in.
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