Child Predators are Pathetic

Last night's Dateline was really good. There was the usual band of horrid perverts, but there were two new things that really added that extra something:
1. A dude got tasered. I love a good tasering. He came out of the house and the cops told him to get down and he just stood there. Like for 5 seconds, just stood staring at them. So they tased him. Idiot.

2. A dude from a prior show returned. A guy with a horrid scar running down the side of his head showed up - and he had gone to another of the set-up houses 9 months prior. In fact, he was in court for that case the day before he showed up to this house. He clearly has some kind of mental problems though. (Beyond the ones they all have.)

The show didn't disappoint. Chris Hansen still read the transcripts to the guys (one highlight: "I want to shove it up your blank.") and showed them the pictures of their penises that they had sent to the kids. Plus probably my favorite IM nickname of all time: iwanttorapeyouanally. Good times.

Happy Birthday II

Maybe this is more your cup of tea. I know it's mine. Forget Ron Weasley.... I haven't seen his firecrotch.

A Special Day in History

Happy Birthday, Houman! Maybe you'll get around to posting on this blog again before you turn 33. Celebrate with a cigar... or a tampon. See you soon!

Adrenaline TV

Prison Break. The funniest part of this episode was definitely Brad trying to pull a Michael Scofield on Nurse Katie. But she's not as dumb as Sara. And Brad isn't as good looking as Michael.

The video the boys made was good - it just laid it all out and called out EVERYBODY. Kim went ape S. I don't know how Sara is smart enough to figure out secret messages. Oh, wait, I know - it's Prison Break.

The question: What side is Kellerman on really?

Heroes. Great episode. LOVE the Invisible Man. LOVE Micah's ability - to get all the cash he wants from ATM machines. Smart kid. AWESOME that Claire found her mother, and that she can light cigarettes with her fingers! AWESOME that Sylar is confronting Bennet - but Bennet better not die! His scenes with Claire are always my favorite. Maybe Claire's adoptive mom kicks the bucket next week at the hands of Sylar - someone is supposed to die soon. And who is Claire's real dad????

24. Karen and Bill are both bad-ass in an argument. I can't imagine what their fights are like. How sad that Karen was forced to resign, but now she can be reunited with her hubby. Jayne Atkinson acted the S out of that scene though. Note: Karen leaves DC no earlier than 12:00; let's see how long it takes to get to L.A. on a "military transport."

I can't even watch Bauer Family scenes because the dad is 3 feet taller than the sons. They can't even be in the same shot together. Mrs. Bauer must be a midget. Next week: Jack breaks out, captures his brother, yells something menacing in his face about pain, and tortures him. Wait -- didn't that just happen?

Oh, and Sandra Palmer. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I Heart Harry Potter

I officially love Harry Potter now. Here's a quick clip of Daniel Radcliffe playing himself on Extras. He was hitting on all the women and trying to act all mature and tough. He was HYSTERICAL!

Harry Potter "Hotness"

Wow, is the next Harry Potter movie a porno???

Orlando Trip: Disney Edition

I love Epcot Center so much it makes me hate myself. I hate Disney. Don’t know why, I just do. But dammit they know how to make an amusement park. Epcot is my favorite because it has two parts – Future World and the World Showcase – plus it’s more adult-friendly than the other Disney parks. So adult-friendly, in fact, that one of the rides has killed people. Mission Space. Here are before and after photos of Mike.








He HATED this ride. It made him sick. I LOVED it. Sure, you can’t breathe or swallow for about 3 seconds because of the G-forces. But you survive, so it’s all good. I’d do it again; Mike would do the “less intense” version.

I love all of the “countries” at Epcot, except for “America”. I don’t see the point, except I guess it’s for people who have never been to DC or Philadelphia to see the real things. For me it’s a quick walk-by. We had lunch in Germany and dinner in Mexico. I love all of the shops, and almost everything is authentic. But I have a beef with Mexico. Tostitos? Really? That just sticks out like a sore thumb.









Here’s a picture of us in Morocco. I wore my African AIDS shirt – in poor taste, or making a statement? (Morocco’s basically the Middle East anyway.)









I know I say everything is my favorite, but my Favorite Thing at Epcot is the place where you can try different sodas from around the world. Most of them are nasty, but of course I try them every time. The Italian ginger soda is money.
So I am in love with Orlando. Not so in love with the traffic coming home, but still a great trip.

Orlando Trip: Fanboys Edition

So, yes, I had a glorious time in my fanboy element at the FX Show. Besides the Heroes panel, we also went to see Lance Henriksen. That was interesting because there were only 10-15 people in the room, so it was an intimate little discussion. (So intimate that I thought it would be rude to take a flash picture right in his face, thus the blurry-finger photo.) He had some great stories about working in TV and with James Cameron, who he has known since he was living in his car. Mike asked him a question about Aliens. Good thing I had recently seen the Aliens movies in a marathon several weeks back.
I graciously decided it would also be rude to take pictures of the fanboys right in their faces, so here are some general photos of the room. You can see some little dude in one of them - he's from Star Wars or Willow or one of those millions of 80's films that employed midgets. The crowd was what I expected. And I loved them all.

People were selling old Transformers toys and Star Wars glasses (Mike got those) and comics and photos, etc. etc. There was a Creators Alley that had a ton of comic book artists. But the award for Most Bizarre goes to a company that will make you up to look like you have been murdered or like you have died in some gruesome fashion, then take a large black and white crime scene photo of you. It was freaky, and yet pretty damn cool. But I wondered what kind of disturbing people would hang that in their living room. I know they're out there.

I wore my "Petrelli for Congress" shirt, and got lots of adoring looks and 6 comments. I'm an attention whore. (Then last night, before we got home, we stopped at the grocery store and the deli guy asked "Is that somebody running here in Florida?" That was a sure sign I was back in the real world. For the record - it's a character on Heroes.)

Orlando Trip: Heroes Edition

OK, I'll get the fangirl stuff out of the way first. The FX Show was a lot of fun. There was a Heroes panel on Sunday - how perfect, since that was the only day we were there. Zachary and Hayden were adorable. A-freaking-dorable. They were both really funny and talkative. It's weird to think that Hayden is only 17, she seems so mature. (I'm just hoping she doesn't go the Lindsay Lohan route.) Most importantly, Zachary has my Nalgene bottle. Awesome.

And for those of you that need Urban Dictionary to keep up with me, Heroes is a television program. An awesome one.

Orlando II: Revenge of the Nerds

We are headed to Orlando this afternoon for an impromptu weekend away. We're planning to hit Epcot Center tomorrow - I'm a sucker for the World Showcase. Why go to Morocco and contract malaria when you can have your picture taken in a place that looks like Morocco? Next best thing I say!

In a case of sheer coincidence, I assure you, the FX Show is being put on in Orlando this weekend. It's Florida's version of Comic-Con. You nerds know what that is. And we are totally going on Sunday! Sure, my current favorite TV actress, Hayden Panettiere, will be there, along with my favorite ambiguously ethnic actor, Zachary Quinto. But what I'm really interested in are the fanboys. I heart fanboys in a big way. I'll go to a gaming or comic book store just to chat with them. So I am butt-siced to hang around them all day. I'm hoping to get all kinds of pictures of just the randoms there. You don't think I'm going to wear my Petrelli for Congress shirt? I'm getting back to my Star Trek Convention roots - and I can't wait!

Man on Man Action

How can I not love a show that brings me entertainment like this on a weekly basis. What's wrong with hot brothers loving each other in a special way? Nothing, I say.

Next: K Fed Himself?

Music producer Disco D (real name David Shayman) committed suicide on Tuesday. D was found dead inside his New York home. He was 27. D mixed beats for 50 Cent, Trick Daddy and Nia Sky, as well as commercials for Spite and Best Buy, but may be most famous as the producer for the Kevin Federline single "Popozao".

Nice to know there's someone in the music business who can actually feel shame. Po po popozao!

Washington Pulls the Rehab Card

Disgraced Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington was checked into a residential treatment facility in a bid to keep his job on the medical drama. Accepting he needs help, Washington checked into the unnamed facility for a "psychological assessment".

I wasn't aware they had a 12-step program for being a douchebag. I'd kill to read that assessment. "Mr. Washington presented with symptoms of being an intolerant asshole. Upon further testing we discovered that he is indeed an idiot, and have advised him to keep his dumb mouth shut." I really really hate this guy.

Celebrities Kill People Too

R&B singer Brandy was involved in a four-car accident on a Los Angeles freeway in December that left another female driver dead.

The 28-year-old Moesha star, whose full name is Brandy Norwood, was traveling on the morning of Dec. 30 when her 2007 Land Rover (traveling about 65 mph) struck the rear of a 2005 Toyota, according to a California Highway Patrol statement.

The Toyota's female driver, Awatef Aboudihaj, 38, then hit a third car, causing Aboudihaj to strike a center divider. Aboudihaj sustained major injuries after she was subsequently hit by a fourth driver. CHP spokesman Leland Tang said Aboudihaj died the following evening, Dec. 31, at Providence Holy Cross Medical Center.

Wow - celebrities really are just like us. So that's Brandy, Matthew Broderick, and Rebecca Gayheart. And oh my God how can I forget Tweener himself, Lane Garrison? Anyone else I'm missing on my Vehicular Manslaughter list?

My Early American Idol Picks

I am ready to go on record with my American Idol picks. But of course, at this stage I don't know any names. If you watched the show you know who I mean when I say that I am backing:

The Indian Brother and Sister
The Fat Dude with the Bad Beard
Homeless Jesus (who is also my pick for mind-blowing makeover reminiscent of Clay Aiken)
The Chick with the Huge Face.

They were all really good. Good luck guys!!!

One Degree of Stephen Colbert

One of my professors was on The Colbert Report last night! Tom Schaller wrote some book about Democrats not needing the South. And he was a good guest. Woo hoo! Shout out to UMBC's Interest Groups and Lobbyists class.

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Oscar Nominations

I don't know, this just wasn't the Most Exciting Awards Season Ever for me. But here are my thoughts on some of the nominations. First of all, THANK THE GODS ABOVE that Beyonce did not get nominated. I'm sick of seeing her arm pits on the red carpet. She'll probably still go, she was probably nominated for a song, but at least she has no shot at Best Actress.

Best Picture (Babel, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen) - I'm glad Little Miss Sunshine got in there. I've only seen that and The Departed. Based on that level of expertise, The Departed should win.

Best Supporting Actor - Mark Wahlberg was nominated. Wait, he's the only acting nomination from The Departed. That's odd - there were so many good performances. But I'll take his - I heard a Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch song on the way in to work this morning ("Wildside") and it made me reflect on how far he has come.

Best Supporting Actress - Abigail Breslin for Little Miss Sunshine. Yay! She is SO the new Dakota Fanning.

24: Dessert, Anyone?

Now on to the DVR for a commercial-free 24. Which is the only way the show should be viewed.

RIP 12,000 Los Angelenos and all of the CTU field teams.

WHAT??!! The Bluetooth Baddie is Jack's brother??!! Lamest. Plot twist. Ever. We're supposed to believe that bald, slug-looking guy, who was working with the terrorists last season, is Jack's brother? This makes zippy sense. (Heroes crossover alert: Graham's wife, and one-time girlfriend of Jack's, is Nathan Petrelli's wife.) Mike was like, What if Graham's kid, who clearly suffers from gigantism, turns out to be Jack's kid? I'll tell you what - then I quit.

I'm going to give a big YAWN to the Presidential Plotline. It's hella boring, Wayne is the worst president ever. At least he didn't mention his brother this episode. I was about to add that to the 24 Drinking Game. Also included in this YAWN is his sister's plotline. In all of her scenes, they essentially repeated the same dialogue. You have nothing to add, stop talking in circles.

I got excited when Jack went for the lamp electrical cord. I was hoping for some Paul Raines-style lamp torture. No such luck. We get plastic bag torture. It's lamer.

Oh, and I hope Assad isn't disappearing from the plot. He and CTU are the only things currently holding my interest. And he now has the Bill Buchanan Seal of Approval, since he finally got that handshake.

Heroes is the Filling Entree

Now on to NBC.... First off, my Peter isn't dead, just in a feverish, floppy-haired coma. And most of his time in this episode is spent dreaming and re-dreaming about exploding New York. Til he wakes up and we get to meet our new hero, Mr. Invisible.

Hiro finds his sword in the museum, and steals it , but it turns out to be a replica, with the original owned by that damned Linderman. Then Hiro and Nathan are reunited, and hilarity ensues. Oh how I missed this show and these characters.

I'll go on record saying something HAS to be up with Simone. She can't be on this show just to be part of a love triangle. This bitch has to be bad.