The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I know what you're thinking.  Isn't this blog dead?  Yes, I thought so too.  But you know what can bring me out of retirement, albeit briefly?  Fangirling.

OMG THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!!!

OK fine, not the greatest, but 7000 times better than the first and 800% met my expectations for it!! My 14-year-old self was very, very happy!

Pretty sure the second book is my favorite of the trilogy, very close to the first.  As for the movies, I thought the first one was alright.  There was too much good stuff from the book left out of it for me and while it was cool to see the characters and story brought to life, it was a bit disappointing.  Have I still watched it multiple times? Yes,  But actually, now that I've seen the second movie, the first is dreck by comparison.

I'm not even really sure what the difference is, but this director is on it.  It makes me sad that the first movie exists.  Can't they redo it?  Forget it ever happened and make it more like this one?  I guess it's that it's way more faithful to the book than the first movie was.  It totally brought everything to life, and anything that was left out I'm OK with being left out.  They hit everything I wanted to see.  And they made me wish the movie was 5 times longer.  If it had taken place in real-book-time, it would have been amazing.  They truly did my favorite installment justice.

The book certainly had a lot of kickass characters, and the movie versions were perfect.  Johanna was awesome.  Finnick was amazingly perfect - can't wait to see his story continue (angst!!!!).  Haymitch and Peeta continue to rule my life with their perfection.  And Gale continues to suck, but that's OK because he's Gale -- he's supposed to suck.  And that makes him perfect.  And while there were a couple times where I thought too much Awesome Jennifer Lawrence Personality was sneaking in to the performance, Katniss rules too.

So what's next?  I hate the third book.  But I'm excited about the movies now that this one was good!  It gives me hope.  Because they're splitting that damn book into 2 movies -- they had better be worth it.  They should have split this one into 2 movies.  And made it a 5-hour epic.  I would watch that 100 times.

So now here I am, dying to see it again soon.  And re-reading Catching Fire so I can relive the flaily teen angst and drama.

I LOVE IT!  

The Lone Ranger and Pacific Rim: A Study in Expectations

Where to start.  A movie I had zero expectations for and a movie I had the highest expectations for.  One surpasses my wildest dreams, one craps on them.

The Lone Ranger -- Lord help me, I only saw this movie because my husband wanted to.  I heard it was crap, I expected it to be crap, and it was.  It's just a disjointed mess.  Johnny Depp is doing what he's done since Pirates of the Caribbean - wear a costume and have weird mannerisms.  So that's no good.  Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka are much more interesting characters.  Armie Hammer is adorable - and was great in The Social Network - but lord is he dull as dishwater.  Who decided to try to make him a star?  It's not happening.  It's a "Western," it's a "comedy," I have no idea what it is.  Boo.






Pacific Rim - Man, I have been living for this movie since Comic-Con last year.  I had first heard about it 2 Comic-Cons ago and was excited at the combination of Guillermo del Toro and giant robots v. sea monsters.  The movie isn't bad.  But it's not the Movie of the Summer I was hoping for either.

Warning: If you're not into giant robots fighting giant sea monsters, there is NO REASON for you to see this movie.  NONE.  If you're into that kind of thing (and you should be), enjoy.  Mostly.

Not surprisingly, the best parts involve the giant robots fighting the giant kaijus.  You seriously get sucked into it, believe it can happen, root for both sides - it's great fun.  The effects are perfect.  Unfortunately, I was surprised at how absolutely horrid all the human parts of the movie are.

I love Charlie Hunnam. He's great on Sons of Anarchy.  Or maybe he's just nice to look at.  Because the man is as wooden as a tree in this movie.  Holy Christ, I wanted to scream, "Show some personality!!!" the whole time.  There's no Oscar-winning dialogue for sure, but you can make something out of it, can't you?  Idris Elba did.  He's the best part of the movie aside from the robots and monsters.  He sold his corny lines.  But every other actor stinks.  Even Charlie Day - Jesus, man, tone it down.  We don't need him shrieking when there are explosions and roars and LOUD NOISES everywhere.  Take it down a notch, dude.  I don't know what's worse - everyone else being wooden and dull or him being a spastic gerbil.

I felt more emotion during the robot v. kaiju fights than I did during any of the human interactions.  I'll watch the movie again - definitely.  Hell, I'm sure I'll own it on Blu Ray.  But when I watch the human parts, I'll just be making fun of them.  Develop some kind of drinking game maybe.  I like drinking.

P.S. I love Gipsy Danger - that's my robot in the poster.  Love him more than any of the humans, that's for sure.

These Movies Both Start with a W

They are also just mindless summer popcorn fare for the most part.  But it's in the 90s here and I hate it so I like to spend my weekend days in a movie theater.

I went into White House Down with zero expectations, so I suppose it didn't disappoint.  I still can't stand Jamie Foxx, regardless of his Tarantino status.  But I don't mind Channing Tatum.  Ever since 21 Jump Street I've been a bit obsessed.  This movie had the awful corny dialogue and situations:  Wacky White House tour guide who's all, Get your hands off the antiques!  Little girl who is wise and brave beyond her years!  Multi-layered government conspiracy!  A crowd of people outside the White House who are cheering while tanks roll in and get in a firefight with the bad guys, as opposed to running in terror (or not being allowed within a 10 block radius in the first place)!  I suppose there are worse ways to spend a summer day.  Like outdoors.  Also, Channing Tatum in a white tank top.


At least in World War Z people were acting as they would in real-life - freaking terrified of zombies.  I really liked the zombies in this movie actually -- fast-moving, and swarming, like a wave of water rushing down a street.  Pretty cool.  But OMG the plot.  You could tell there were tons of reshoots and script changes.  The last 1/3 is cool - basically a huge we-have-to-get-through-a-bunch-of-zombies sequence - but it feels like a different movie from the globe-spanning catastrophe movie in the beginning.  And the very end feels hella tacked on.

Basically, I sat through these movies and it was OK, but I don't plan to see either of them again, until they're on HBO 100 times a week and I can't escape them.  Also, I plan to read - I know, read! - World War Z, mostly because I really think this zombiepocalypse thing could happen and I need to be prepared.  I've already got a camp stove.

Man of Steel/This is the End

I saw Man of Steel yesterday, so I finally feel capable of writing about it.  Not because it's so deep that it takes a lot of time to process, but because - Jesus Christ on a bike - Henry Cavill is hot.  I'm sorry, but he is.  No, not hot, just really, really ridiculously good-looking.  Like, criminally so.  So good looking that every time he comes on screen I end up with my mouth hanging open in awe of his face.  I'm not kidding.  He's beautiful.

But is the movie good?  Yeah I think I liked it.  I think I really liked it.  But I also wonder if I'd be OK with watching Henry Cavill watch paint dry.  That'd be a good film.  Jesus, he's handsome.  I think the movie is stronger in the first half - really laying out the backstory, effectively showing the struggles of a growing alien boy.  Then the second half happens and it's nonstop fighting.  The action is definitely well done - it's really well-directed.  Because a quarter of the movie is 2 grown men flying around and flinging each other into buildings and fighting and you totally buy it.  The movie also changes some stuff in the Clark Kent/Superman backstory, at least as I know it.  I'm not entirely sure I buy the way it ends up; I need to see it again to see if it makes sense.  I mean, if I have to....

I've been eagerly anticipating This is the End like no other movie this summer.  It's as if the movie industry read my mind - let's put all of my favorite funny guys who have awesome chemistry together into a vulgar comedy.  Perfect.  Everyone was awesome and it was just as funny as I hoped it would be.  Plus it's crazy because, you know, apocalypse and everything.  It's brilliant.  As brilliant as Superman is beautiful.

Fast & Furious 6

Is it a ringing endorsement to say that Fast & Furious 6 is the least disappointing movie of the summer?  It should be.  Because after feeling decent-but-not-wowed over Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, this movie was every bit as awesome as I expected it to be.

Can't go wrong with racing and big dudes fighting (The Rock and Vin Diesel - as good as it gets!) and girls being tough and chases and guns and explosions.  The movie totally dragged a bit in the middle and yet is still the most fun I've had at the movies this summer.  Until I see Pacific Rim and This is the End.

Star Trek Into Darkness

OK, so. Star Trek Into Darkness. Saw it Thursday.  And if you haven't seen it by now, you don't really care about it, and so I'll have spoilers here. But they're not a big deal, really.

First off, I chose that photo because Benedict Cumberbatch owns the movie. I love him in Sherlock and he's a pretty slick bad guy. He'd be in good in Marvel movies as a villain. Not that his character here is developed much, but he's just cool. Also, he's Khan. But who cares. It's just a name, really.  A name and some slick, long coats.  The Khan "reveal" has been rumored for like a year and once it's actually done, you pretty much just go, "So what?"  Moving on.

I've seen all of the previous Star Trek movies, but don't remember them much beyond that one about the whales where Spock is playing a boom box on a bus. Or something.  I like this cast a lot and they're just as good in this one as the first.  Just when I think I like Bones the best I end up liking Scotty the best.  The movie feels like a ride at Disney World - in a good way.  The kind where you're jostled around and ships crash and explode in front of you.  Good fun.  There are funny lines and good chemistry amongst the cast. 

But there are also plot holes or at least "plot what-the-effs"?  Transporters that work only when it's convenient and don't work when the writers didn't want them to.  The use of Transporters makes no sense the entire time.  It's the kind of thing that didn't bother me til after the movie though.  Maybe Transporters are glitchy things.  And Spock is a stickler for the rules when it's convenient but he conveniently isn't when something needs to happen.

Again, I don't remember much about the old movies, but things in this movie are switched around.  Like, instead of happening to Spock like in the original, they happen to Kirk.  It's that whole other-timeline thing that keeps things interesting.

After stewing on it for a few days, it might be just as good as the first one.  Maybe the first one seemed better because it was brand new.  Oh also - the plot holes.  Final rating: not as good as the first, but better than Iron Man 3.

Iron Man 3

You know, now that I look at this poster, I should have suspected that I wouldn't love Iron Man 3.  Because I generally don't like chicks, and I certainly don't like chicks in my superhero movies.  Particularly when they're played by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Iron Man 3 had too much Paltrow.  Actually, the punnier thing to say is that it had too much Pepper for my taste.  She shouldn't be 2nd-billed and prominent on the damn poster either.

Now, I still mostly enjoyed the movie.  A crappy Marvel movie is like a crappy cup of coffee -- it still isn't the worst thing ever and it still gets the job done.  Does that analogy work?  I'll like Marvel movies no matter what, but I should love them.

So what was wrong with Iron Man 3?  Besides a certain blonde.  My main problem is that Tony Stark doesn't have superpowers.  Sure, he has cool technology and I'll even buy the super-convenient secret projects that are activated at just the right time.  But he shouldn't have the ability to fight and slide down steel beams when he's not in his armor.

I just want a dark, alcoholic, womanizing, self-hating, tortured Tony Stark. Not one with a steady GF whom he calls "honey."  Tony Stark shouldn't be calling a chick "honey" unless it's derogatory and dripping with sarcasm. (Clearly I need to find some fan fiction. And yes, it can be the kind where Tony Stark and Bruce Banner are banging. I'm all-in on that idea.)

But I guess a dark take on Tony Stark isn't going to work for Disney.  So instead we basically get a shoot-em-up, high-tech action flick.

Also, without giving spoilers, I can't decide if the Mandarin thing is good or bad.  On one hand, I like the concept, on the other hand I wanted him to be an awesome villain.  The poop joke was bad, I know that much.

Long story short, it looks like I'm relying on Star Trek Into Darkness, Fast & Furious 6, and - most of all - Pacific Rim to make my summer.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Yeah, I saw G.I. Joe: Retaliation on Easter morning.  No church for me, thanks.  Truth be told, it was more Mike's pick than mine, but it's not like I protested.  I'm always up for some mindless gun porn entertainment.

And that's exactly what it was.  Do you want to see The Rock walk around explosions in slow motion? If you're an American, the answer is yes.  Do you want to see guns, guns, and more guns?  Duh.  Do you want to see Bruce Willis sleepwalk his way through a role that, well, doesn't really require anything more than sleepwalking? Of course you do.  What's not to love about all of these things?  Swords and stunts and explosions and rock music and fighting for "America."  Love it.

Just don't expect a riveting plot.  Or a movie that doesn't feel like it's 2 different movies going on concurrently.  Or The Rock to cover up his arms.  Cuz it ain't happening.

Oh wait - best of all - Walton Goggins is in it.  Boyd Crowder lights up any movie he's in.

Justified

So this episode's going to be about the Marshals trying to leave Harlan alive with Drew Thompson, also alive.  And the Detroit Mafia trying to get Drew, likely alive or dead.

Tonin's man is knocking the teeth out of Boyd's mouth, but Boyd can still talk his way into helping him get around Harlan.  Boyd sends Colt to go get Drew.

The Marshal Convoy (a decoy, Drew is still back with Raylan and Rachel) starts out, but PTSD Tim feels like it's an IED trap, so they stop.  And indeed, Colt has Tonin's sniper on them.  After some witty repartee, Tim ends up protected and with them in his gun sights.  Booyah.  Then Tim and Art blow up the IED-laden car parked nearby so that they can escape.

Boyd figures out Raylan's holed up in their old high school.  Because Boyd just has that sixth sense when it comes to his BFF.

Another of Tonin's guy's finds Patton Oswalt at Arlo's house and tries to beat Raylan's location out of him.  Beats the holy hell out of him!  Patton stabs him through a nice juicy artery just as Raylan shows up.  Raylan brings Patton back to the school with him.

The mafia helicopter lands and Boyd and one of Tonin's guys enter.  Boyd can't talk Raylan out, so they call for backup.  They have a quick standoff, but then Art and Tim show up.  And anyway, Rachel and Drew are on the way out of Harlan - via a train.

This episode was chock full of awesome dialogue and chess-playing.  Loved it.

Justified

The Hunt for Drew Thompson has become the Hunt for Shelby.  He's headed to Mexico with Ellen May, but the airport and roadblocks don't work out.  So Ellen May heads to see Limehouse for protection.  Bubba!!!  Aw, man, remember when this show was awesome?  If the ghost of Mags Bennett comes back we can all be happy!

Boyd figures they're with Bubba and sends Ava.  Bubba's gonna charge them $150,000 for each.  But when Boyd brings the money, Bubba says he has to choose one of them.  That's a good dilemma!  Ava forces Boyd to take Shelby and leave Ellen May behind.

So now it's up to Colt to turn Shelby over to the Detroit Mafia.  Well, that's not going to go well.  Plus, Johnny made a deal with Raylan to let him know where Shelby's being picked up.  How does Boyd not yet know he can't trust Johnny?

The helicopter lands to get Shelby but then the Marshals show up.  Oh poor Boyd, everything's gone to shit.  Again.  Now everyone's trying to get out of Harlan before Tonin shows up.

Well, I enjoyed seeing Limehouse again and the ending was pretty badass.  And there was lots of good, bantery dialogue this week -- Art admiring Drew for pulling off this "badass shit," Raylan realizing he's become a frequent visitor of a whorehouse.  But screw Cousin Johnny.  For real.

Justified

So last week everyone died, but not anyone who meant much, other than Arlo.

Tim's dead friend texted him before he got dead, leading Tim to know it was Boyd's War Buddy.

Raylan picks Hunter up to transport him to his other prison.  He takes him to Wynn Duffy's RV instead, trying to get Hunter to give up Drew Thompson.  Hunter would rather die than give up Drew.

Boyd and Ava are house shopping, and it's a big-ass house (one Ava's momma used to clean).  Naturally, the real estate lady doesn't think they can afford it.  Boyd has a briefcase of cash, bitch.

Jurassic Park Preacher's sister comes to Ava's whorehouse looking for Ellen May, because EM called the church asking for guidance... yesterday.   Oops.  Ava and Boyd call Boyd's War Buddy in for a meeting, but Boyd trusts him when he says the Church Lady must be lying.  The guys go off in search of Church Lady, with Tim following Colt.  Boyd comes back after not finding her where he looked, and Cousin Johnny tells him Ellen May ain't dead.

Colt gets high and finds Church Lady.  He'd choke her to death if Tim wasn't there to butt in.  Boyd arrives and gets Tim to let him have Colt so he can resolve the situation.  Resolution involves a stern lecture until he confesses.  Gunplay blue balls!  He tells Boyd that he even had Shelby trying to look for her.  So Boyd heads to Shelby's house to see what he knows, but Raylan, Tim, and the gang are there because they're waiting for Shelby to show up....

Shelby is Drew, which was obvious I suppose and now it makes sense why he's been hanging around and interested in Drew Thompson for no real reason.  Not that any of this makes sense.  Why do I care about Drew Thompson again!?

Justified

So I always watch Justified on DVR-delay because 10:00 is past my bedtime.  Well, overnight, my Twitter feed blew up (OK, so it was really just my brother-in-law) with how awesome the episode was.  Damn, it's about time.  So I avoided the internet all day and I remain unspoiled.  Other than knowing there's lots of death coming.  Let's do this!  I want my show back!

Raylan goes to see Hunter, the old Sheriff who tried to have him killed and then went on to be the dad on The Killing.  Looking for Drew Thompson.  Again.  Some more.

Hunter tries to kill Arlo, but Arlo is a tough old dude and beats him up, beats a guard (to death?), and then is stabbed in the heart by Hunter.  Now at first I thought Hunter was killing him so he can get his deal instead?  But Raylan had offered it to Hunter.... so was he killing him to keep his mouth shut in general?  Let's hope they dumb it down and spell it out for me. 

So Boyd's being forced to kill that guy for those Rich Old Dudes.  Instead, he meets with Targeted Guy and tells him the deal, hoping the guy will pay him to not-kill him.  He doesn't. 

Wynn Duffy pops by to see Boyd to apply more pressure about finding Drew Thompson.  Boyd says he has 2 possibilities - why doesn't Theo Tonin just kill them both? 

Meanwhile, Ellen May's talking to Sheriff Shelby, coming close to telling him she's seen Ava kill Delroy.  And Ellen May - or, more likely, someone pretending to be her (*cough*Johnny*cough*)- is texting Boyd's War Buddy, blackmailing him for $20,000.  Which he steals from the drug dealer he's been seeing, after killing him.  Tim's Recovering War Buddy is in the drug dealer's house at the time, so of course he ends up with a bullet to the head too.

Arlo's not quite dead yet, but is expected to be soon.  Raylan eventually goes to visit him, still asking about Drew Thompson.  Arlo's last words to Raylan are, "Kiss my ass."  Jesus he really is a son of a bitch.  Was.

A cop (really a fake cop hired by Wynn Duffy) kills the Targeted Guy and one of the rich old kinky dudes.  Boyd made him do his dirty work -- nice.  When Wynn Duffy figures that out, with some help from Asshole Johnny, he's pissed.  The cop comes for Boyd, "arresting him" when Raylan comes by the bar.  Raylan's suspicious because he's been with Shelby and Shelby knew he'd be there and Shelby didn't say anything to him about arresting Boyd.  The cop threatens to shoot Raylan and draws - NICE TRY, ASSHOLE.  Another one bites the dust. 

Boyd's War Buddy leaves the $20,000 where the Texting Blackmailer tells him to put it.  And yeah, it's Johnny.

Theo Tonin's #1 guy calls Boyd and Boyd smooth-talks him. Then Boyd meets with his Rich Old Dudes to celebrate the death of the Targeted Guy, and then to let them know that he knocked off another of their friends too.  And that Boyd got Tonin to tell all the judges and cop buddies not to deal with the Rich Old Dudes anymore.  "I am the outlaw," proclaims Boyd.  Boyd wants $300,000 and a Dairy Queen franchise.  No shit.

Art makes Raylan take a week off because Arlo died, but he doesn't want to get kicked off the Drew Thompson case.  Raylan whittles him down to 2 days.

OK, so 56 people died.  But you can't placate me with that, show.  Keep up the good (better) work!

Justified

Remember that black dude (Jodi) that Raylan caught earlier this season?  Like the first episode?  Well, he got away after Raylan turned him over to his bounty hunter GF.  Shot and killed her too.  Oops.  The guy helping Jodi is from Mad Men, right?  Hard to tell because he looks so different.  But yeah, it's him.  The cool funny guy.  You know the one.

Jodi hella toys with Raylan.  Like, it's ultra-random (like most stuff this season) -- his Mad Men friend is a filmmaker and has Raylan watch a movie where he threatens him.  It's weird.  So Raylan heads to his bar/house and Jodi's there waiting.  Tries to pull on Raylan.  Nice try, dummy.  Raylan shoots him dead.  Duh.

Swinger's Party Time!!  Or as Ava calls it, Rich People Sex Party time!  Boyd immediately develops a fan club and holds court with a couple of the old rich guys.  The guys want Boyd to kill a guy who is screwing them over in a land deal.

Raylan goes to see Daddy in jail to find out who Drew Thompson is, but Arlo tells him to eat shit.

Johnny finds out from his No. 1 Whore GF that it was Boyd's War Buddy who hit her, and that he was looking for Ellen May.

And that's all we got.  Not enough actual swinging for me!

Justified

So I guess this has just become a Justified blog now, on account of nothing else is on (or I gave up watching everything else) and I just can't abandon this blog.  Even if Twitter and Facebook are way easier.  Some day I'll bring this thing back....

Meanwhile, nothing happens on this show so what the actual hell.  It's The Drew Thompson Wild Goose Chase Hour.  There's a lot of awesome dialogue though, particularly of the Boyd Crowder variety.  Boyd and his gang are looking for that Drew Thompson guy for Wynn Duffy.  Raylan's also hunting down Drew Thompson, via that annoying teenage braceface.  Her stepdaddy's foot was cut off (on account of him having a house-arrest-ankle-bracelet) and he was taken by 2 hillbillies working for Boyd's attorney.  (Huh?)  Stepdaddy was taken because they think he's Drew Thompson, but he swears he's not.  Raylan busts in just as stepdaddy's getting cauterized.  Stepdaddy says that if anyone knows where Drew Thompson is, it'd be that dirty cop from way back in Season 1.  The one who went on to become the dad on The Killing.

Boyd's War Buddy gets high and is desperately trying to find Ellen May AND more drugs.  He's also beating up hookers and then the guys who take the fall for him beating up hookers.  He's freaking nuts.

Meanwhile, Tim's getting roped into something with a recovering addict veteran buddy of his.  Tim's brought along as security when his friend goes to see Blossom's oldest brother.  Pretty sure that was him. 


Finally, Ava thinks that the "in" to get them more info on Drew Thompson is an invite to the old Sheriff's swingers' party.  Seriously.  Poor Ava's got an attack of conscience over thinking Ellen May's dead.  Boyd confesses to her that he's been stashing away cash... for a house.  And he asks her to marry him.  I swoon. Man, I love me some Ava and Boyd!!

Justified

Let's play a game called, "Is Something Going to Happen in This Episode?"

Winona's pregnant ass makes an appearance. For 4 minutes.

Arlo's brought in to the Marshal's Office to answer questions on the Drew Thompson case.  Drew Thompson being that guy they're hunting for from decades ago that I couldn't care less about and don't see the point of.  They're looking to make a deal with Arlo to find out about Drew Thompson in exchange for his freedom.  Jesus, he killed the State Trooper and gets to go free?  Raylan doesn't want that, so he decides to try to find Drew Thompson before Arlo can make that deal.

Meanwhile, Wynn Duffy is meeting with FBI Agent Ned Ryerson and a Theo Tonin guy in the Duffy-mobile.  Ned and the Tonin guy are BFFs and Ned has been protecting the Tonin guy for years.  Drew Thompson shot and stole from Tonin back in the day, so Tonin wants his ass.  Tonin's guy ends up shooting Ned in the head.  R.I.P. Needlenose Ned.

So Boyd's War Buddy lost Ellen May, but lies to Boyd and says he killed her.  Wynn Duffy visits Boyd and offers him cash to find Drew Thompson.  What's Boyd, a P.I. now?  I'd watch that show.

Raylan tracks down the little thief girl who stole the bag from Arlo's and started this whole convoluted mess.  Her stepdaddy told her to steal it, so Raylan visits him.   He tells him Drew Thompson's with the Hill People.  That sounds ominous.

Raylan walks up the mountain to find the Hill People, who greet him at gunpoint.  They throw him into a room... where Boyd awaits.  Tim and Boyd's War Buddy are both waiting for their respective guys at the bottom of the mountain.

Raylan and Boyd's lives are spared because Raylan's mother is the cousin of one of the Hill Women.  Can't kill kin.  She tells them Drew Thompson isn't there anymore, but is in Harlan.  Raylan handcuffs Boyd to a tree and goes off to find Drew.

Ellen May's hiding out in the Sheriff's office and the Sheriff wants her help in bringing down Boyd Crowder.  And Wynn Duffy is still working with Cousin Johnny to eventually take out Boyd.  I hate Cousin Johnny.

OK so still nothing has happened.  But I really liked the Hill People bit, plus Raylan and Boyd being reunited.  So there's that.

Justified

Raylan's GF and her husband have taken Raylan's $20k and gone to the backyard fights.  They're looking to get into cock-fighter management.  Seriously.  Raylan and Rachel work to hunt them down, including finding a store clerk that the asshole beats the shit out of. 

So the Jurassic Park Preacher is dead from the snakebite!?  Already?  That seems unceremonious.  That means Ellen May tries to come crawling back to the Crowders.  Ava thinks she's more trouble than she's worth so Boyd has Ava ship her off to his cousin in Alabama, a preacher who owns a motel and can put Ellen May to honest work.

Rachel had to go to work so eventually it's just Raylan who catches up to GF and Asshole.  They fight a bit and then GF tells Raylan his money's in the van, and she leaves while Raylan has Asshole arrested.  But his money's not literally in the van -- the chickens are.

Ava still doesn't trust Ellen May, and so when Boyd's War Buddy is driving her to the bus station and he gets a phone call, I know right away it's a call from Boyd telling him to kill Ellen May.  War Buddy is getting an attack of conscience though, and in his hesitation (getting himself straight in a bathroom with a little bump), Ellen May disappears.

Man, so far NOTHING is happening this season, right?  What the actual hell?

Justified

Boyd stops by the Tent Church to talk to Jurassic Park Preacher's sister and offer her money to get her brother out of Harlan.  She says it'll cost a lot more, like a new church built somewhere.  So he sends his old war buddy after them along with another guy, who is attacked by the snakes.  He brings the guy - with the head (and only the head) of the snake still attached to his face - to Boyd's bar.  Jesus Christ.  Gross.

Raylan's GF used to be a thief/con-artist with her (ex-)husband.  Because all of his romantic entanglements must be hella complicated and laden with criminality.  He also gives the ex the "get out of town by 6PM" bit.

Johnny's going behind Boyd's back to meet with Wynn Duffy.  Says he'll help Wynn kill Boyd.  Oh hell no.  Ass.

Raylan and Tim go to visit the ex-wife of the guy-who-didn't-fall-from-the-sky, who happens to be a (real) psychic.  The guy was a witness in some sealed case.  An FBI dude shows up and distracts our guys, and while she tries to sneak away she's actually kidnapped by someone.  A someone who is blackmailing the FBI guy somehow.  But who knows how, because the FBI dude kills himself in front of Raylan after telling him where they can find the woman.  She tells them that the not-dead-guy saw Theo Tonin, the big time Dee-troit gangster, murder a government informant.

Over at Boyd's, the doctor comes and removes the snake from the guy's face.  They figure out that there's no venom there.  So Boyd comes to the Tent Church bearing the gift of a rattlesnake.  The preacher's sister confesses that she's been milking the snakes of venom, unbeknownst to Jurassic Park Preacher.  JPP doesn't care and handles the snake anyway, and is bitten. 

Raylan comes back home to the bar to find his GF missing and his place ransacked, stashed money and all.  Oh lordy, here with go with Raylan chasing some crazy GF.  Also, this 30-year-old mystery thing better get somewhere quick because I don't see the point.  I'm enjoying all the random character bits, but I don't know what the plot's getting at.

Fringe

Farewell, Fringe, my love.  I still feel like this season has been meh.  But the previous seasons were amazing.  So it all evens out.  I'm going to miss my show either way.

I still don't get the whole Plan to Reset Time.  Baby Observer goes into the future at just the right time so someone's all, "Let's not create Observers????"  Whatever.  I don't buy it.  But OK.  He's important.  I get it.

Time to get Old!Broyles in on this.  He finds out where Baby Observer is being held, beneath the ruined Statue of Liberty.  Windmark's interrogating him but getting nowhere, just developing a bloody nose and a popped blood vessel in his eye for the trouble.  So it's time to bring out the tech to really get at this kid. 

The only way into the facility on Liberty Island?  Use the Other Universe.  Good thing Walter has some old Cortexiphan lying around to reactivate Olivia's ability. Plus they use the Other Universe Window to take a peek first and make sure the Observers haven't invaded there too.  All looks clear, so they go for it.  Time for a bunch of shots of Cortexiphan to the ol' brain stem for poor Olivia. 

OTHER UNIVERSE TIME!!!!!  My favorite place.  Chelsea Clinton leads in the Presidential race.  And Lincoln Lee is BACK!  He and Fauxlivia are married and have a grown-ass son.  And Fauxlivia is rocking some fabulous gray in her hair.  God, I love Fauxlivia.  I guess that's what the show was missing this season.  No crazy Freaks of the Week, no Awesome Dual Universes, no funny Walter food things.  Observers (and dystopian futures) were better in small doses.

Olivia crosses over into the room where they were holding Baby Observer.  Only they've moved him because they're going to disassemble him.  Now that doesn't sound good.  And Olivia's starting to kind of phase in between both universes, her Cortexiphan wearing off.  She gets to the kid just as they're about to strip him for parts, and they make it back to the Other Universe.  But an Observer follows.  Good thing Lincoln and Fauxlivia Lee take care of the situation.  Olivia makes it back over with Baby Observer.

Windmark finds out Broyles was behind the exposure of Baby Observer's location.  So he's pissed, as usual.  He figures out Broyles is going to meet our Team, so he has someone follow him.  Too bad Broyles is too smart for that and notices them following.  Broyles is captured. Uh-oh.

Donald/September built a machine in the lab whilst everyone was off gallivanting across universes.  He pays a visit to an old Observer pal to get a piece he needs.  Time to open a wormhole to the year 2167, and Walter has to accompany the kid.  Walter and Peter say a Sad Bishop Goodbye.

Oh but they can't get that piece they need from the Observer because the Bad Observers have caught up to him, killed him, and taken the tech.  Windmark knows they are trying to reset time.  Astrid comes up with an idea to use one of the Observer's "shipping lanes" as a wormhole. 


Donald/September says he should be the one to escort the kid into the future.  Yeah, DUH, you should be!  Walter doesn't need to do this shit.  Take your bald kid and get into the future!!!

There is some great grossness, and Olivia and Peter unleash all the different contaminants, poisons, and foreign bodies from the past 5 years into the ventilation system at Observer HQ.  Observers dropping left and right from various Freaks of the Weeks Greatest Hits.  Our Team gets whatever tech they need from Observer HQ to take over the shipping lane.

Windmark finds them and starts beating the crap out of Peter and Olivia.  Til Olivia summons her electrical powers and has him pwned by a car.  R.I.P. Windmark you bastard.

Donald/September is killed in a shootout running toward the wormhole.  So now it really is up to Walter to take the kid over.  Bye bye, Walter.

We're back to the point where Olivia, Peter, and little Etta are in the park.  But this time, no Observer invasion.  Happy ending, but what happened to my Walterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

This Week's Final Code: *sob*  LOVED and CLOSE  *I'll miss you*

Justified

Art breaks the news to Raylan that Arlo killed a fellow prisoner, and Raylan fills Art in on the Panamanian diplomatic bag found in the wall.  Art, Raylan, and Tim head out to track down Waldo Truth and his family, which turns out to be a family full of criminals.  The family is just the ultimate in white trash.  Waldo's been missing for 30 years since a pilot came and said he had a job for him.  Art remembers the pilot's name - he always thought he was the one who was pancaked in the driveway, but instead it was Waldo.  So where's the pilot and why did he fake his own death?

Preacher Billy appears to be actively trying to convert people in Boyd's inner circle - first the dealer, now Ellen May.  He ends up sending a bunch of creepy, singing children into Ava's whorehouse to try to recruit members.  So Boyd and crew show up to the Tent Church.  IT'S A MOTHERLOVIN' PREACH OFF!!!!  Boyd wins because he's way hotter.

And poor Boyd has another problem - a crew trying to sell heroin in his town.  The crew is part of Wynn Duffy's organization, so Boyd reaches out to become his heroin distributor in Harlan.  And Duffy's curious why Arlo killed his boy up in prison.  Jesus, everyone in Kentucky is tied to everyone else.


We've also got some random dude looking for fights, being randomly pushy with Raylan at the bar and then winning a backyard fraternity MMA fight. Dude turns out to be married to Raylan's GF.  Oops.

Fringe

It took me this long to catch up on Fringe, which clearly means I'm ready to let go.  Guess I'm just trying to make the separation easier, you know?

Tank Time!  In order to pull out the memory of September that Baby Observer planted in his brain, Walter decides to go into the Deprivation Tank.  Sans trunks, of course.  He figures out where September used to live (when he had hair) and the team goes to see if he's still there.  Along the way, we get a really touching Walter/Peter moment where Walter remembers things from the old timeline and says he loves Peter and they hug and get teary.  So what - someone's gonna die, right?

Windmark heads into the future to meet "The Commander" and there is much general Observer creepiness.  Windmark really has a hard-on for killing Our Team, which is odd because Observers don't get hard-ons for anything. 

Donald (September, a bit older now and still with hair), is indeed still in his apartment.  Must be rent controlled.  So Donald used to be the Observer September and then as "punishment" for helping the Team, he had his device removed and named himself Donald.  He tells us that hundreds of years from now, Observers just create themselves in labs - humans decided to sacrifice human emotion for increased intelligence.  And Baby Observer is September's kid, who was deemed an anomaly because of his brain development, so September hid him in the past.  Oh lord, now my eyes have gone crossed.

So Donald/September says they have to send Baby Observer into the future, to the point where humans made that decision to grow Observers, to prevent them from doing so, thereby never creating Observers.  They're going to reset time.  What Walter hasn't told the others is that, in order for the plan to reset time to work, he has to sacrifice himself.  Baby Observer showed him that.  See - told you someone was dying.

As the team tries to get wherever the team is going, Baby Observer is caught by Windmark.  Or maybe turns himself in.

This Week's Code: GRACE

Well, the show is nearly over - and the preview showed Lincoln Lee and Fauxlivia, so I'm kind of excited.  Can we get some Charlie before it's all over?  Maybe reset the timeline and then open like we did in the pilot?

The Oscar Nominations

I made sure to have the Oscar nominations loaded up live the second I got in to work.  They were announced at like 8:35 AM, and by 8:45, my Facebook status update read, "FU Oscars, back to work - no Kathryn Bigelow? Suck my left nut."  I didn't even have time to process the lack of Quentin Tarantino and Ben Affleck directing nominations as well.  What the hell?

Lincoln got the most nominations.  It was a great, historical biopic, but not the Best Picture of the Year.

Best Picture:

• "Beasts of the Southern Wild" - it's next up in my Netflix queue, mostly because the 9-year-old girl (who was nominated for Best Actress!) is supposed to be amazing in it.
• "Silver Linings Playbook" - I've been pushing Mike to see this for weeks; we've GOT to see it this weekend.  If there's time, with all the football.
• "Zero Dark Thirty" - winner winner chicken dinner
• "Lincoln" - what I said
• "Les Miserables" - really more about the acting than the film as a whole, but makes sense
• "Life of Pi" - I will never watch a movie about a kid stranded in an ocean with a tiger, I just won't.
• "Amour" - supposed to be good, but it's French.  So, you know, no.
• "Django Unchained" - OF COURSE
• "Argo"  - OF COURSE

Moonrise Kingdom was probably my Number 4 film of the year.  Couldn't have fit in a 10th nomination for Best Picture, you bastards?

In Best Director news, apparently Django Unchained, Argo, and Zero Dark Thirty - the three best movies I saw this year - directed themselves.  Cool.

Other Nominations I'm Happy About

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"

Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables."  But Sally Field, "Lincoln"??? No.
 
Best Actress:  Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty" and Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"  (no, I haven't seen the second one yet, but I love her so YAY)

Justified

Finally time to get back to Kentucky.  We binged on all of the Season 3 Blu-rays since New Year's -- Justified is such a marathon-worthy show.  But I'm ready for some new episodes.  All I've heard about this season is that it focuses on some old mystery rather than one Big Bad.

Flashback to 1983.  Old mystery confirmed.  A dude falls out of the sky and slams into the street outside what I'm assuming is Arlo's house, bricks of cocaine or heroin splattered on the ground along with his brains.

In present day, Raylan gets a call from a bail bondslady he used to bang, who wants some help tracking down a guy.  Since it means 3 grand, he'll be a bounty hunter, no problem.

Now we've got Patton Oswalt calling Raylan because a couple teenagers broke into Arlo's house.  The thieves had ripped open some holes in the drywall and Raylan and Patton find an old bag containing an old driver's license with the name of Waldo Truth.  Raylan figures out that Arlo hired the kids to steal whatever was in the old bag, but Arlo won't admit as much when Raylan visits him in prison.

Meanwhile, Boyd gets wind of a new church in town - Last Chance Holiness Church - that's getting people off drugs and hooked on Jesus.  Well, that's not good for Boyd's oxy business. An old war buddy of Boyd's shows up looking for him, and Boyd offers him a job cuz he needs some outside enforcer help.  And the Jurassic Park Kid is one of those preachers with the snakes that heals people.

Meanwhile, Arlo's a badass, slitting a dude's throat in prison when the guy asks him too many questions about that old bag.  So it's Justified: the Year of the Old Bag then.  Good to have you back; let's move on from the setup!