18 April 2011

The Event

Sophia and the Aliens are working on finding a weapon (have they mentioned this weapon before? Are they killing all of us with it?), and so they need a distraction. And the assassination of President Underwood would be a great distraction. Sophia calls the Vice President and offers him the chance to become President.

Shout-out to NBC for hiring a convicted felon - my man Lane Garrison from Prison Break. I actually do have to respect a guy who pleads guilty for killing someone while drunk. Keep up the good fight, kid - one line today, two tomorrow, then who knows....

Senator Madsen shares with the President her suspicions that the First Lady is an alien. She has a whole file on her to support it. The President's suspicious, and confronts his wife with the file. She comes clean - her parents were aliens -- Dominican aliens, that is. She looks like she's lying.

Leila is a cutter -- she slices her hand open on purpose so that she can leave the house. Not sure how you'd cut your palm like that when slicing an apple, but OK. She's brought to another house that serves as a makeshift hospital, where she sees Alien Asian Hottie tied to a bed. Ah, so it's a kinky hospital. AAH tells Leila that the aliens plan to find a weapon and exterminate mankind, and gives her a name and asks her to help. Oh, you beautiful idiot, she won't be of any help....

The VP meets with Sophia, who has for some reason changed into a slutty dress. What the hell? Think those big cougar cans are going to convince the old man? She offers him the chance to save the United States, to partner with the aliens once the human population is "substantially reduced". He just has to slip the President some poisoned Splenda for his coffee. Ugh.

Back at her house, Leila invites her big black bodyguard in for a drink. She takes his jacket, steals his phone, and goes to take a piss. She calls 9-1-1 but - shocker - isn't of much help, since she doesn't know where she's being held. "It's a housing development and there's woods." Thanks, bitch, that narrows it down. Her bodyguard finds her, fights her, and she somehow gets the upperhand on him and escapes.

That Annoying Prick Sean runs into the burning French building to save Vicky, but Hal Holbrook's waiting for them when they come out. He explains his whole "sentinel" deal to Sean - that he's here to protect humanity from the aliens. He also says that Sean's the key to saving us and stopping Sophia. Oh great. Hal Holbrook then does the one cool thing that's ever happened on this show - he shoots himself in the head!

Sean and Vicky run off into the hills of France with Hal Holbrook's scrolls and fake passports. Thank god there's a cell phone signal in those hills -- Leila gets through to Sean, tells him of the aliens' plans, and that they're looking for a weapon in Siberia.

Something big is pulled from the ground in Siberia, and the President's sweetener is switched - and there's your cliffhanger. Yawn.

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