24 May 2011

The Event: Now It's Over

45 minutes from now there will be no more of this "Event" nonsense in my life, and the world will be the better for it.

Team Awesome figures out where the disease is going to be unleashed. They ask President Underwood for help, but since he's only Semi-President, he can only semi-help - with the food processing plant and the Bureau of Engraving. I guess the airport requires Full Presidential Status. So Team Awesome heads to Dulles and President Underwood tries to get the Other President to shut down Dulles and send in containment people. President Asshole is an asshole, so he doesn't.

Team Awesome chases down the Alien TSA Agent while Team Suck looks for Sophia. The TSA Agent shoots Alien Asian Hottie in the leg and the chest. Nooo! Luckily, he was wearing a bulletproof vest. But now that leaves Team Suck to save the world. Great. There's a massive shootout. No one notices a shootout in the airport? I mean, it's behind the scenes, but there's a lot of shooting. Surely someone can hear something out in the terminal.... Jesus Christ, there's even janitors out in the hallway as shooters go running by!! They seem nonplussed. This show stinks. But then the other half of Team Awesome, Sterling, pwns Sophia's right-hand man and I'm happy.

There's a Presidential Faceoff, as the Cabinet gathers for a vote on who should be President. President Underwood passes out on the way in to the meeting, but gets it together. President Underwood brings out the big guns and tells the Cabinet that President Asshole tried to take him out, and that he's working with the aliens to commit genocide. He even has a recording of their conversation where President Asshole admitted to everything. Dayum! If I cared about this show and who was President, this would be awesome!

Jesus, there's a lot of running going down at the airport. Sean's chasing Sophia through the terminal and there's a TSA guy standing RIGHT THERE and he does nothing!!! Remind me never to go to Dulles with their crappy security. Sophia locks herself in a first class lounge and starts setting up to release the virus in the terminal. Sean talks her down, and is all, "You didn't want this, you told me your people wanted peace, you'd just be murdering people for no reason, blah blah blah." That Annoying Prick Sean: Master Negotiator. That was remarkably easy. Sophia comes out and is arrested.

Simon tells Sean that the aliens are still coming, and that they were the first ones here. He also says what "The Event" is but it's shoehorned in and I don't get it. Some kind of event that would have happened if the aliens had stayed here, and will likely happen again when they return?? The answers are in the ancient scroll. Mmmm-kay, whatever.

Team Awesome meets with the President and tells him that 2.5 billion aliens are on their way. Jesus, did we know it was that many? We're screwed! Earthquakes and flooding are breaking out everywhere. It's the motherlovin' Rapture!

In sad news, they're still trying to cure Leila -- and she's pregnant. I called that as soon as the doctor wanted to talk to her about some test results. How effing stupid. Thank god this show is over - we don't have to see what a Half-Idiot, Half-Annoying-Prick looks like. Ugh. Worst. Parents. Ever.

Sophia gets brought in to the Oval Office, because that's what you do with America's #1 terrorist -- invite her in to a meeting with the President in his home. Sophia tells them she was trying to do us a favor by killing us with the virus -- now they've got no choice but to take us out in some inhumane way.

It gets windy and bright outside. Oh no - not the wind! A portal thing opens in the sky -- and a new planet is brought in to our solar system, between Earth and the Moon.

Oh sure, now you get semi-interesting. Not that they would have done anything cool with that in a second season. R.I.P. The Event.

1 comment:

Marco said...

Netflix was originally rumored to be picking up the show for their new original programming service. May not be completely over.