Evil Secret Service Agent (henceforth "ESSA") brings the First Gentleman to Dubaku, who has a kickass lair in the basement of a random convenience store.
Jack, Bill, Bill's snow-white hair and beard, and the Prime Minister meet with the President. While in the meeting, Dubaku calls to let the President know he has her husband. He wants the American forces withdrawn and the PM returned to him... or else. Dun dun dun.
Jack offers to help find the dude. President: "How am I supposed to know where your loyalties lie?" Jack: "Ask around." OH SNAP! And that's enough for him to get access to the First Family's Secret Service detail and a nice, secure room next to the Oval Office. Oh Jack, you definitely have the power of persuasion.
Jack and Renee hook up with Larry Eyes-Too-Close-Together to get the ESSA's phone records. Jack asks Larry to track him down and sends Renee to get the guy's family, because if there's one way to get information, it's by torturing an 11-month-old baby.
Jack Bauer does not have to heed One-Way Street signs. He crashes into the ESSA and proceeds to kick (literally) his ass. He calls Renee and puts the potential family torture on speakerphone. The ESSA spills Dubaku's location, and then foolishly tries to fight Jack. Actually, it's a kickass fight, but of course Jack pwns him. RIP Evil Secret Service Agent. I had just given you initials and everything.
Renee and Jack bust into the convenience store basement and shoot everyone. But one of the bad guys gets off a shot to the First Gentlemen's gut before he bites it. Oops.
I love how the bad guys on this show always have some normal, domestic problem. Dubaku has a needy little waitress girlfriend who wants him home in time for dinner. And the girlfriend has a nosy, suspicious, handicapped sister. Maybe she should turn on the news. Shouldn't Dubaku's face be all over it? The sister calls Dubaku and is all, I know you're using a fake name, break up with my sister. Break up with your sister!? I'm kind of in the middle of terrorizing the United States, bitch.
3 comments:
But you forgot the best part of the episode! At the end, Jack SLID across the floor to shoot the bad guy about to kill the First Gentleman. SLID! I clapped... And no more messenger bag of death...it looks like the diaper bag of death! And I like it!
The slide into the wall was definitely awesome!
Check this out from one of the blogs I read:
"You get a phone call from your girlfriend’s sister; she knows you’re a phony, and she wants you to break-up with your girlfriend.
Do you:
A.) Agree to meet her demands, and murder her after the whole President-husband-kidnapping thing resolves.
B.) Agree with her demands because, screw it, it’s not like it’s that hard to find tail.
C.) Wonder why the hell you’re dating a waitress in the first place.
Or
D.) Immediately ditch your co-conspirators during the most delicate stage of your operation so you can go whack the wheelchair-bound tattle-tale on your own.
Dubaku answers D. Dubaku is, I’m coming to believe, a bit of a moron."
LOL! :)
HAHAHAHA! So true.
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