It's Bee Gees Night. And they're doing two songs each. Good thing I'm watching on DVR. Fast forward.
Melinda's good, as usual. First song (the song, not the performance) sucked ass. Second performance was better. Hair looked good. Wasn't inspiring.
Blake. These songs are only good if someone with the last name Gibb is singing them. It's just plain embarrassing when another guy sings them. The beatboxing didn't work for me either, Randy.
LaKisha. Leggings don't do her any favors. She's pretty good; the second performance was definitely better.
Jordin made "To Love Somebody" sound a little bit country - and I loved every second of it! That performance was amazing! I thought the second song (some crap sung by Barbra Streisand) was really good too, but the judges didn't love it. I may have been distracted, however, by the fact that Mike knew all the words and was singing along with her. WTF?
Nice eye makeup, Paula. Ryan - would it kill you to eat a cheeseburger or lift some weights? Put on some weight, dammit - you're standing next to a 17-year-old girl twice your size!!
Go home: Sorry to say Blake. The novelty is just that, a novelty. Won't last. Jordin should have this thing locked up.
08 May 2007
Inferno: Have a Mentioned That I Hate Danny?
Danny pulled out the Dead Mom card. Isn't there a 3 year expiration on that? I laughed out loud when he wrote his mother's name on his CHEEK for the Inferno. It looked so hurting! Lesson learned: those 'roids can reek havoc on your cardiovascular system. Bye bye, Neanderthal!
Next week: Bad Tonya returns. We could use the excitement!
Next week: Bad Tonya returns. We could use the excitement!
07 May 2007
Heroes: Why Are There Only 2 Episodes Left??!!
This wasn't the greatest episode ever, but it was definitely setting up the last two episodes, which should be.
New Hero: Molly Walker. The Little Girl Who Can Locate Anyone. She's dying from the same blood disease Mohinder's sister had. I figured out the antibody would be in Mohinder's blood. I don't understand all that, but I figured it out.
Sylar paints the future - him taking Ted's power and exploding. He claims he doesn't want to cause the apocalypse. He only kills people for their braaaains. Sylar goes back to his nerdy, Clark Kent-ish self and goes to see his mommy. Turns out Sylar has mommy issues - she's pushing him to not be normal, saying he could be President someday. Mmmm hmmm. Too bad he ends up accidentally stabbing her through the heart and killing her. And painting another floorpocalypse on her floor... with her blood.
How cute was Claire's reaction to finding out her Real Daddy can fly? A coy little "cool." I heart Claire!
Peter and Claire are the cutest incestuous couple since... Peter and Nathan. He gave her a gun and told her to kill him if he starts to go nuclear. They meet up with Bennet, Ted, and Matt. And Peter's hands start heating up. Get ready for the apocalypse, baby!
New Hero: Molly Walker. The Little Girl Who Can Locate Anyone. She's dying from the same blood disease Mohinder's sister had. I figured out the antibody would be in Mohinder's blood. I don't understand all that, but I figured it out.
Sylar paints the future - him taking Ted's power and exploding. He claims he doesn't want to cause the apocalypse. He only kills people for their braaaains. Sylar goes back to his nerdy, Clark Kent-ish self and goes to see his mommy. Turns out Sylar has mommy issues - she's pushing him to not be normal, saying he could be President someday. Mmmm hmmm. Too bad he ends up accidentally stabbing her through the heart and killing her. And painting another floorpocalypse on her floor... with her blood.
How cute was Claire's reaction to finding out her Real Daddy can fly? A coy little "cool." I heart Claire!
Peter and Claire are the cutest incestuous couple since... Peter and Nathan. He gave her a gun and told her to kill him if he starts to go nuclear. They meet up with Bennet, Ted, and Matt. And Peter's hands start heating up. Get ready for the apocalypse, baby!
24: Hey, At Least There Are Only 3 Left
24's not off to a good start. Josh Bauer gets named in the previouslies. This can only mean one thing: the Mutant Spawn of Jack is back!
Nadia tells Jack that Secretary Heller and Audrey have left CTU. Wow, that was the shortest cameo ever for William Devane. Hopefully he's taking her to a real medical facility.
In his holding cell, Jack tries to convince Nadia to let him go after Cheng, but this skinny B won't give in to his whispery powers of persuasion. She must have daddy issues.
CTU set up a perimeter around the warehouse they think Cheng is going to. Great idea - those perimeters always work! "Tough" Nadia gives Ricky's team their orders. There is "sexual tension" between Nadia and Ricky. But Ricky thinks girls have cooties!
CTU conducts its raid on the warehouse. In a bit of classic Prison Break misdirection, the Chinese aren't in it - just a bunch of empty weapons boxes signifying the Chinese are about to launch a major assault. Where, you ask? Well, a team of jacked-up Chinese are being sent to infiltrate CTU - from underneath, in the sewer lines.
Morris and Chloe, blah, blah. Why are they repeating the same crap over and over? WE KNOW!! HE ARMED THE NUKE!!!!!
Lisa (the President's Bimbo) is sent back to her boyfriend with false information on her PDA. The goal is to make him (and his Russian contacts) think they got the circuitboard back from the Chinese. She also has a video camera in her purse. Long story short, Tom is now in a van outside the house watching Lisa and the dude get it on. Priceless!
Milo (who looks like he's wearing a wig now) gives his blessing to Nadia if something "is happening between" her and Mike. Um. She just met him. Like 8 hours ago. And they're working. They don't have a relationship. Whatever.
Back to the Land of Chinese Infiltration. They knock out CTU communications and security cameras. TIME FOR A CODE RED LOCKDOWN BABY! Armed Chinese are everywhere. They have easily taken over CTU in a matter of seconds. Jack hears the commotion and gets a guard to let him out. Everyone in CTU is being held hostage, so now it's up to Jack! He shoots his way around the hallways. And gets an uzi off a dead Chinaman. Nice.
In Hostage Land, Milo tells the Chinese he is in command. And promptly gets shot square in the forehead. Another Season One-er bites the dust. Here's my problem with this: the Chinese asked who was in charge. How was Milo to know that Nadia would be in trouble if she stepped up? There was really no reason for him to put himself in her place. Other than as an excuse for him to get killed. And to clear the way for a Nadia/Ricky relationship.
The Chinese find Marilyn and Josh and it turns out the Chinese came for Josh. WHAT? Did he do his high school science project on Russian circuitboards? Jack saves them and they try to escape CTU. Josh makes it into the ventilation system; Jack and Marilyn do not.
The Chinese make Nadia answer Ricky's call and tell him everything is fine. She does, with no discernible distress code. The Chinese speak to Josh over the PA system, threatening to kill his mother if he doesn't show himself and go with them. "SHOOT HER!" I yell. Tragically, the Mutant Bauer complies.
Why did they want Josh? Because Grandpa Bauer wants him. Turns out he was the one working on the circuitboard for the Chinese and he gave them access to CTU. Mike figured it was him. I just figured he was gone forever since he disappeared about 15 hours ago.
Nadia tells Jack that Secretary Heller and Audrey have left CTU. Wow, that was the shortest cameo ever for William Devane. Hopefully he's taking her to a real medical facility.
In his holding cell, Jack tries to convince Nadia to let him go after Cheng, but this skinny B won't give in to his whispery powers of persuasion. She must have daddy issues.
CTU set up a perimeter around the warehouse they think Cheng is going to. Great idea - those perimeters always work! "Tough" Nadia gives Ricky's team their orders. There is "sexual tension" between Nadia and Ricky. But Ricky thinks girls have cooties!
CTU conducts its raid on the warehouse. In a bit of classic Prison Break misdirection, the Chinese aren't in it - just a bunch of empty weapons boxes signifying the Chinese are about to launch a major assault. Where, you ask? Well, a team of jacked-up Chinese are being sent to infiltrate CTU - from underneath, in the sewer lines.
Morris and Chloe, blah, blah. Why are they repeating the same crap over and over? WE KNOW!! HE ARMED THE NUKE!!!!!
Lisa (the President's Bimbo) is sent back to her boyfriend with false information on her PDA. The goal is to make him (and his Russian contacts) think they got the circuitboard back from the Chinese. She also has a video camera in her purse. Long story short, Tom is now in a van outside the house watching Lisa and the dude get it on. Priceless!
Milo (who looks like he's wearing a wig now) gives his blessing to Nadia if something "is happening between" her and Mike. Um. She just met him. Like 8 hours ago. And they're working. They don't have a relationship. Whatever.
Back to the Land of Chinese Infiltration. They knock out CTU communications and security cameras. TIME FOR A CODE RED LOCKDOWN BABY! Armed Chinese are everywhere. They have easily taken over CTU in a matter of seconds. Jack hears the commotion and gets a guard to let him out. Everyone in CTU is being held hostage, so now it's up to Jack! He shoots his way around the hallways. And gets an uzi off a dead Chinaman. Nice.
In Hostage Land, Milo tells the Chinese he is in command. And promptly gets shot square in the forehead. Another Season One-er bites the dust. Here's my problem with this: the Chinese asked who was in charge. How was Milo to know that Nadia would be in trouble if she stepped up? There was really no reason for him to put himself in her place. Other than as an excuse for him to get killed. And to clear the way for a Nadia/Ricky relationship.
The Chinese find Marilyn and Josh and it turns out the Chinese came for Josh. WHAT? Did he do his high school science project on Russian circuitboards? Jack saves them and they try to escape CTU. Josh makes it into the ventilation system; Jack and Marilyn do not.
The Chinese make Nadia answer Ricky's call and tell him everything is fine. She does, with no discernible distress code. The Chinese speak to Josh over the PA system, threatening to kill his mother if he doesn't show himself and go with them. "SHOOT HER!" I yell. Tragically, the Mutant Bauer complies.
Why did they want Josh? Because Grandpa Bauer wants him. Turns out he was the one working on the circuitboard for the Chinese and he gave them access to CTU. Mike figured it was him. I just figured he was gone forever since he disappeared about 15 hours ago.
Best Sopranos This Year
Finally a good one! I really enjoyed it; I thought the writing was awesome. AJ's depression over his break-up was great. (Lexapro shout-out!) Of course, Tony had the best advice - get a BJ. And the best consolation - "you're employed, you're white." Tony had a bunch of great lines, including saying AJ was in "the fetus position." One thing to pay attention to if you haven't noticed: Tony's breathing. Good lord, it's loud. His nose was whistling a lot this week.
Christopher v. Paulie was the greatest showdown ever. Chris throws Paulie's nephew out a window. So Paulie tears up Chris's lawn with his Caddy. Nice! Unfortunately, Chris starts drinking again - I can't stand obnoxious, drunk Christophuh. Chris's last scene was priceless - he visits Tim Daly, spilling his guts about how he could testify against Tony and enter witness protection. Tim doesn't want to hear it, so Chris shoots him in the forehead! WOAH! I screamed out loud for that one - that was out of nowhere. I think he was taking out all his pent-up aggression over Paulie and Tony on poor Tim.
Christopher v. Paulie was the greatest showdown ever. Chris throws Paulie's nephew out a window. So Paulie tears up Chris's lawn with his Caddy. Nice! Unfortunately, Chris starts drinking again - I can't stand obnoxious, drunk Christophuh. Chris's last scene was priceless - he visits Tim Daly, spilling his guts about how he could testify against Tony and enter witness protection. Tim doesn't want to hear it, so Chris shoots him in the forehead! WOAH! I screamed out loud for that one - that was out of nowhere. I think he was taking out all his pent-up aggression over Paulie and Tony on poor Tim.
Lost Will Be Ending "Soon"
You can't even call this "soon". It should have been wrapping up this year. Since when does 6 seasons mean it's a "limited run"?? This means another 3 years - it's going to be way overstaying its welcome at that point!
ABC is attempting to rescue once-hot Lost by ending the show — in 2010. Bowing to the fact that convention isn't working for the drama about plane-crash survivors on a surreal island, the network is taking the unusual step of turning Lost into a limited-run series. It will run for three shorter and uninterrupted seasons until its "highly anticipated and shocking finale" in the 2009-10 season, ABC said Monday.
The series, which saw its ratings drop this season amid complaints about scheduling, an increasingly meandering plot and unpopular new characters, still must prove itself to disenchanted viewers to survive.
A total of 48 episodes will air over the next three seasons, with 16 episodes running without a break each season in the style of Fox's 24.
No Sopranos Update
We finally got a rainstorm last night, which we badly needed. Unfortunately, said rainstorm knocked out our cable. So we'll have to catch The Sopranos tonight. Worth it?
My Spider-Man 3 Review: No Surprises Here
I can't decide if the movie was called Spider-Man 3 because there were 3 things in it that I liked, because there were only 3 fight scenes, or because there were no fewer than 3 song and dance numbers in it. Let me say that again. There were THREE SONG AND DANCE NUMBERS!!
The movie really is a disjointed mess. It's like the writers had a bunch of 30-to-40-second scenes and they picked them out of a hat to determine what order they should be in. It just hopped all over the place. Although it did follow a general pattern: boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, boring, boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, etc., etc.
The lamest thing: the transformation into "Badass" Peter Parker when he's infected with Venom. He gets emo bangs (way shorter and lamer than Peter Petrelli's) and wears black eyeliner. Why not go all the way and give him black fingernails too?
The 3 things I liked: Topher Grace, Venom, and the New Goblin. Topher Grace was his usual, funny self - I like that kid. On the other hand, every time Tobey Maguire cried, I laughed (and died a little inside).
So I guess I didn't like this movie, huh? When I watch it on DVD, I can skip all the B.S. and keep the movie under 30 minutes.
The movie really is a disjointed mess. It's like the writers had a bunch of 30-to-40-second scenes and they picked them out of a hat to determine what order they should be in. It just hopped all over the place. Although it did follow a general pattern: boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, boring, boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, etc., etc.
The lamest thing: the transformation into "Badass" Peter Parker when he's infected with Venom. He gets emo bangs (way shorter and lamer than Peter Petrelli's) and wears black eyeliner. Why not go all the way and give him black fingernails too?
The 3 things I liked: Topher Grace, Venom, and the New Goblin. Topher Grace was his usual, funny self - I like that kid. On the other hand, every time Tobey Maguire cried, I laughed (and died a little inside).
So I guess I didn't like this movie, huh? When I watch it on DVD, I can skip all the B.S. and keep the movie under 30 minutes.
04 May 2007
I Called It: Speederman is Going to be Dreadful
On Rotten Tomatoes right now Speederman 3 has a 62%. That's pretty poo-poo. The first one had a 90% and the second a 93%. And I hated the second one. (The Cream of the Crop rating - the big, mainstream, non-fanboy critics - is a paltry 45%.)
Speederman is the lamest because he is such a pansy cry-baby. Waah, I don't want to have my powers, waah. And he makes out with a snaggletooth. This one is supposed to have even more soap-opera-style melodrama. Yay.
This review supports that (Toronto Star):
I don't watch Smallville because it's Dawson's Creek, only eventually Pacey grows up to be Superman. Same deal with this crap. I'm looking forward to seeing this lame movie this weekend. NOT AT ALL!
Speederman is the lamest because he is such a pansy cry-baby. Waah, I don't want to have my powers, waah. And he makes out with a snaggletooth. This one is supposed to have even more soap-opera-style melodrama. Yay.
This review supports that (Toronto Star):
What's with all the crying? Both heroes and villains shed tears so readily, you almost want to stand up mid-screening and ask director Sam Raimi to stop the projector so everybody can have a group hug.
I don't watch Smallville because it's Dawson's Creek, only eventually Pacey grows up to be Superman. Same deal with this crap. I'm looking forward to seeing this lame movie this weekend. NOT AT ALL!
Get Jack Bauer On This Stat!
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, a U.S. senator from Illinois, has been placed under the protection of the Secret Service, the agency said Thursday.
The government is not aware of any specific, credible threat against Obama, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the decision. But his office has received hate mail and calls and other "threatening materials" in the past and during his campaign, the source said.
Three Obama campaign officials who discussed the issue on condition of anonymity also said there was no specific threat against the candidate.
They said the request stemmed from what one called the "cumulative effect" of a heavier campaign schedule, larger crowds and "just the growing perception internally" it was time to take additional security precautions that are best suited for the Secret Service.
The government is not aware of any specific, credible threat against Obama, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the decision. But his office has received hate mail and calls and other "threatening materials" in the past and during his campaign, the source said.
Three Obama campaign officials who discussed the issue on condition of anonymity also said there was no specific threat against the candidate.
They said the request stemmed from what one called the "cumulative effect" of a heavier campaign schedule, larger crowds and "just the growing perception internally" it was time to take additional security precautions that are best suited for the Secret Service.
03 May 2007
Lost: Huh?
Lost had me all discombobulated this week, but I guess it's half my cable company's fault. Our cable was out, then it came back and I was able to watch the last 5 minutes of American Idol (smell ya later, Phil and Chris - HA HA) and the first 45 minutes of Lost. Then it cut out again! DAGGER! Don't think of pulling that S during Heroes! So I watched the last 15 minutes online this morning.
Anyway, Naomi, the chick who parachuted in last week, said she was sent to rescue Desmond, but that the world thinks all the plane crash survivors are dead. The wreckage of their plane was found at the bottom of the ocean, along with all the (dead) passengers. Kate told Jack (in front of Juliet) about Naomi. I wanted to choke her for trusting Jack so much and then stupidly talking in front of Juliet. Juliet's response was to say to Jack, "We should tell her." Jack: "No. Not yet." HUH? So I'm guessing either they know something about Naomi (maybe she didn't really parachute in) or maybe they know something about how they'll never be able to get Naomi's phone/radio to work?
Ben tried to force Locke to kill his father. Locke couldn't do it, so he went to get Sawyer, after he found out that his father was the con man responsible for the deaths of Sawyer's parents. Sawyer finds this out and kills Locke's father good. Locke's father was portrayed as such a belligerent prick, how could you fault Sawyer for choking him with a chain, Jack Bauer-style? But before he died, Locke's father claimed they were all in Hell.
Locke tells Sawyer about Juliet being a mole and planning a raid on the camp. Then he goes off on his own, dead father in tow.
I didn't get to see any previews online, but I really hope they showed Sawyer punching Juliet and Jack in their faces because I want that to happen SO BAD!
Anyway, Naomi, the chick who parachuted in last week, said she was sent to rescue Desmond, but that the world thinks all the plane crash survivors are dead. The wreckage of their plane was found at the bottom of the ocean, along with all the (dead) passengers. Kate told Jack (in front of Juliet) about Naomi. I wanted to choke her for trusting Jack so much and then stupidly talking in front of Juliet. Juliet's response was to say to Jack, "We should tell her." Jack: "No. Not yet." HUH? So I'm guessing either they know something about Naomi (maybe she didn't really parachute in) or maybe they know something about how they'll never be able to get Naomi's phone/radio to work?
Ben tried to force Locke to kill his father. Locke couldn't do it, so he went to get Sawyer, after he found out that his father was the con man responsible for the deaths of Sawyer's parents. Sawyer finds this out and kills Locke's father good. Locke's father was portrayed as such a belligerent prick, how could you fault Sawyer for choking him with a chain, Jack Bauer-style? But before he died, Locke's father claimed they were all in Hell.
Locke tells Sawyer about Juliet being a mole and planning a raid on the camp. Then he goes off on his own, dead father in tow.
I didn't get to see any previews online, but I really hope they showed Sawyer punching Juliet and Jack in their faces because I want that to happen SO BAD!
02 May 2007
The Real World: Drunken Debauchery
Hey Colie, don't let anyone tell you you're not all class. You gave a buy a BJ on television. And bragged about it.
Hey Alex, you've been intimate with Jenn (twice) and Colie. Does it burn when you pee?
They're going to Thailand for their vacation. But Colie might catch something! Brooke says she's afraid of Asia. What isn't she afraid of? Heights, bowling, Asia.
I love how Colie turned the fact that she needs to sleep with dudes into some psychological abandonment trauma from her childhood. No, she's just a whore. Didn't need to see her blurred-out boobies while she was waking up with Guy No. 6.
Did I hallucinate the quick, gratuitous shot of Davis passed out, sitting at the computer, with his boxers around his ankles? I didn't want to rewind to find out. How does that even happen?
Hey Alex, you've been intimate with Jenn (twice) and Colie. Does it burn when you pee?
They're going to Thailand for their vacation. But Colie might catch something! Brooke says she's afraid of Asia. What isn't she afraid of? Heights, bowling, Asia.
I love how Colie turned the fact that she needs to sleep with dudes into some psychological abandonment trauma from her childhood. No, she's just a whore. Didn't need to see her blurred-out boobies while she was waking up with Guy No. 6.
Did I hallucinate the quick, gratuitous shot of Davis passed out, sitting at the computer, with his boxers around his ankles? I didn't want to rewind to find out. How does that even happen?
Blake Lewis Shoots Through My Heart
But in a good way! I can't get enough of this - I think it was one of the most original, greatest performances on American Idol! Only complaint - not enough eyeliner, and no tattoos showing.
Inferno: Drunken Debauchery
For whatever reason, my DVR didn't tape yesterday afternoon's version of The Inferno. And I was too worn out after Jon Bon Jovi Night to watch it at 10. Good thing there's MTV.com!
The show started with some good, old-fashioned MTV drunken debauchery. You know, people being thrown into pools and men slapping other men's bare asses. The good stuff.
Hey Ace, if you break into a girl's room in the middle of the night rocking her bed and singing Air Supply, you deserve to get hit in the face.
Hey Davis, way to get the matches wet when the mission's goal is to make a fire.
Hey Danny, I didn't learn that steel wool and batteries start a fire in fourth grade. In fact, I just learned it 20 minutes ago when you said it.
I hope Davis takes Danny OUT in the Inferno! Danny better 'roid up.
The show started with some good, old-fashioned MTV drunken debauchery. You know, people being thrown into pools and men slapping other men's bare asses. The good stuff.
Hey Ace, if you break into a girl's room in the middle of the night rocking her bed and singing Air Supply, you deserve to get hit in the face.
Hey Davis, way to get the matches wet when the mission's goal is to make a fire.
Hey Danny, I didn't learn that steel wool and batteries start a fire in fourth grade. In fact, I just learned it 20 minutes ago when you said it.
I hope Davis takes Danny OUT in the Inferno! Danny better 'roid up.
AI: All Bon Jovi, All Night
I'm a big Bon Jovi fan, so I knew going into last night that I would at least know every song. And they were all awesome.
Phil looked tanner. But still like a bat boy. And he was good! Dagger! I don't like him - he's supposed to be bad! Powder got stage presence sometime in the last 2 weeks!
Jordin was just ai'ight. And at least she knew it. Rock was tough for my girl. She shouldn't be condemned for this. I love how Jordin is twice Ryan's size (width and height) and half his age.
Just when I was thinking the girls would be at a disadvantage having to sing a man's song, LaKisha proved me wrong. She turned that song into her song. She tore that S up. She was so good, Simon kissed her. It was sweet and hysterical.
Blake darkened his hair and I'm loving it. I really loved his performance - the arrangement and the beat boxing. It's the Blake Remix! I loved every second. Bold bold bold.
Chris pissed me off because he sang my song (Wanted Dead or Alive) and he was pretty good. I'm supposed to hate him too. Luckily, I still do because he wasn't great.
Jesus, Melinda can really sing anything. She's such a performer and looked younger (and better) again.
No one was horrible. I think only Jordin got mostly-negative comments. Save Jordin!
Go home: Chris and Phil, but just based on my dislike for them.
Phil looked tanner. But still like a bat boy. And he was good! Dagger! I don't like him - he's supposed to be bad! Powder got stage presence sometime in the last 2 weeks!
Jordin was just ai'ight. And at least she knew it. Rock was tough for my girl. She shouldn't be condemned for this. I love how Jordin is twice Ryan's size (width and height) and half his age.
Just when I was thinking the girls would be at a disadvantage having to sing a man's song, LaKisha proved me wrong. She turned that song into her song. She tore that S up. She was so good, Simon kissed her. It was sweet and hysterical.
Blake darkened his hair and I'm loving it. I really loved his performance - the arrangement and the beat boxing. It's the Blake Remix! I loved every second. Bold bold bold.
Chris pissed me off because he sang my song (Wanted Dead or Alive) and he was pretty good. I'm supposed to hate him too. Luckily, I still do because he wasn't great.
Jesus, Melinda can really sing anything. She's such a performer and looked younger (and better) again.
No one was horrible. I think only Jordin got mostly-negative comments. Save Jordin!
Go home: Chris and Phil, but just based on my dislike for them.
01 May 2007
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