25 November 2009

V: The Not-That-Exciting-Winter-Finale

Our Resistance Group is 4 members strong, and looking to find a way to expose the truth about the Visitors to the world. Elizabeth Mitchell is suspicious of Hotass Morris Chestnut and what his deal is. She somehow pieces it together, just FBI-women's intuition, I guess. And Morris is all, I'm cool, no worries, and fills her in on the Fifth Column, the alien resistance.

Morris knows that the V's are up to no good with a healing injection they're offering to the world - it's not all vitamins and healing properties. He tracks down a scientist who used to work on the project and is an undercover V, but he commits suicide when they capture him. Burny, ashy suicide. But they get a lead on a warehouse where V's are mixing their concoction into flu vaccine! TIMELY! This is why I don't get a flu vaccine, people - it's all an alien conspiracy. I will not be taken down, aliens!!! Our rebels blow the warehouse up.

Meanwhile, the Visitors are trying to figure out how their sleeper agent was murdered on their own ship. Anna's bitter about it and tells the medical staff - look, I know it was one of you, and if the person doesn't come forward, I'll punish an innocent person. Joshua is the dude who actually did it, but his buddy takes the blame and Joshua has to carry out the sentence - skinning. Ew. It looks painful, but of course they don't show anything because A) it's gross and B) special effects are expensive.

Anna also has her hooks in Tyler - she knows he's Elizabeth Mitchell's son and would be a valuable asset. Also, Anna is Tyler's little blond girlfriend's mother. Those V's must age well, or give birth at the human equivalent of 9. She hooks him in by showing him the ship engine, and suddenly visions of hot, MILF-y, alien threesomes are dancing through the kid's head.

Scott Wolf is brought in to report on the healing centers and the amazing work the V's are doing, healing burns and making people walk and such. Morris Chestnut's fiancee goes to a healing center for her heart problem. Scott Wolf is told he'll get a fatal brain aneurysm or something in 6 months. The creepy V dude is all, "There's a long waiting list for healing, but we can work something out." These insidious bastards!

Oh and Anna did this weird thing called "Bliss" where she got naked and, like, communed with the ship and spread light and happiness to the V's. It's like she has them drugged or something.

In mini-finale, not-all-that-shocking ending news:

Morris Chestnut's fiancee is pregnant. I am eagerly awaiting a lizard baby!

A V shows up to the church and stabs the Priest in the gut.

And we get a nice shot of the massive fleet of alien ships across the universe, poised for invasion.

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