Project Runway: International Edition

How cool that the show went to Paris! I squealed with delight when Tim boarded the plane. I wish I could go to Paris with Tim Gunn.

I loved Laura’s dress and she looked really good in it – it might be my favorite design of all season. Angela hung herself. When she turned around it looked like she had crapped her pants. Vincent’s outfit was perfect for him – it looked like something a mental patient from the future would wear. Michael and Jeffrey were great too. Kayne was Kayne.

They really dragged out that elimination – I was on pins and needles just like Heidi says! Bye bye bag lady! Thank GOD!

Note to the producers: no more shirtless shots of Kayne, please.

Hell's Kitchen: Weston

Let's hope it doesn't come to that. These are pictures of our current kitchen -- white and boring! Our new cabinets are due to arrive this Friday and work is to begin next week. I'll probably take photos of the progress/devastation along the way. As of Friday I will have zippy appliances. Well, we're planning to have the new refrigerator plugged in in the living room. But the others will wait off to the side while the work is done. So we'll be living off grilling, paninis, and microwavable food for a while. Houman's visiting this weekend -- good thing he doesn't expect a home-cooked meal. Or at least he won't after reading this.

Hurricane Nubbins

All is well here in Florida. It ended up being a weak Tropical Storm. As luck would have it, I moved onto Lush Street, so we spent some time last evening hanging out on a neighbor's driveway drinking. No one wanted to stay indoors without natural light. This morning we walked around and saw just a couple palm tree limbs down. I've seen worse rain and wind on a random afternoon. So that's good news. At least we got to practice and see what it's like to prepare. Time to take down the hurricane shutters! Now it's headed up north and I bet the weather will end up being worse there.

Sounds Like A Good Time for the Beach

Since we had boarded up our house so early we decided to head to the beach and watch the storm roll in. There were crazier people than us there - kite surfers.



It's actually really nice out - no humidity and 80 degrees! We stayed tuned to the situation on the trip.



We couldn't even get a good steak and lobster meal so we headed back home.



We made it back home just before Starbucks closed (Jamba Juice had already betrayed me by closing early). Free pomegranate frappucinos! Which are even better with vodka in them!

So back to our home and back to the wonderful view out our living room window. It's like I'm in prison! Only slightly less teabagging!!!

Hurricane Prep

We put up most of the hurricane shutters last night and we're doing the rest soon. They are pretty easy to put up - just overlapping metal slats basically, then drilling the nuts on the bolts. I'd rather put them up than shovel snow any day.

It's so eerie because you're in the house with no natural light - that's why we saved the ones in the living room for today. It'll be weird to have the storm pass over without being able to look outside and see it. I definitely want to watch it approach. The local news is on all day, like a snowstorm up north. And I did just laugh out loud when the anchorwoman said - "Whenever a storm is approaching you just get that pit in your stomach, like, 'We can be totally obliterated.'" Women.

Mike's office is closed today and tomorrow. It seems like a lot of stuff shuts down - except the Pancake House and Super Target thank god!

Prison Break: Frankenbag

I miss prison - there are too many stories to keep track of! I'm sad to see the crew break up.

Digging T-Bag and his reattached hand. At least he threw up - see it DOES hurt! I was shocked that T-Bag killed the doctor, but I don't know why. I love T-Bag so much I tend to forget he's a kidnapper/rapist/murderer.

I guess LJ's screwed. But I also wonder if they handed him something while struggling in the elevator.

Bellick was genuinely upset that he lost his job, but it's all he has really. And I was like, Is Sara getting off scott free? But next week - evidently not. So sad that so many good people had to lose their jobs because of Michael Scofield.

Our Weather

I've never seen this kind of incomplete forecast before. It's like they've just given up. I could write this forecast. Which makes me believe the local stations here are more realist and less alarmist than the ones up north. If this were a snowstorm in Maryland, one station would say we're getting a dusting and the other would say we're getting a foot. But at least the blanks would be filled in!! And I like how they won't even venture a guess at a temperature. Like it's gonna be 45 all of the sudden.

All Hail Conan

The funniest montage ever. I almost peed my pants. I don't even watch House but that and Dateline were my favorites!

Crazy Nutballs in the News

DNA found on JonBenet Ramsey's body does not match sample DNA from suspect John Mark Karr, Denver, Colorado's KUSA television station reports.

Of course it doesn't. I called this the minute I saw him. He's totally nuts, but he didn't do this. I know from crazy.

My First Hurricane

I was able to leave work at 1:30 so I think I beat some lines. I was in line for gas for 25 minutes. Then it took 10 minutes to pump it - it would have been faster with 2 people. But I had to fill 5 gas containers and then top off my car. Then on to the bank for cash and CVS for provisions - you know, important stuff like peanuts, Gatorade, and dark chocolate M&Ms (we did real grocery shopping yesterday).

We're officially under a Hurricane Watch. Schools will be closed tomorrow. It's due to hit tomorrow night. We'll probably put up most of the hurricane shutters tonight. Better to be safe than sorry I suppose. Hopefully I'm just being a baby because it's My First Hurricane.

Reality Bites

Oh, by the way, there is a hurricane headed my way. Once I'm off work and I get to watch the news I'll have more information. For now, it's pretty much headed toward me for Tuesday night/Wednesday and they expect schools to close tomorrow.

Jack Bauer Rules

Congratulations to Kiefer Sutherland on his well-deserved Emmy for best whispery growling in a drama series! His acceptance speech was so nice. His professionalism always astounds me -- because I'm used to him doing stuff like this.

The Emmys are Dead to Me

8:25 Really? Alan Alda? Really? Go to hell Emmys. My TV won't fit through the window, so I guess I'll keep watching. Besides, Conan is HYSTERICAL!

8:50 I don't even want to discuss Jean Smart's denial. But I am looking forward to that Barry Manilow performance. I'm glad Greg Garcia won for "My Name is Earl" - he used to intern on The Don & Mike Show don't you know.

9:00 The only way this Dick Clark tribute could be more riveting is if it were delivered by Alan Alda.

9:02 And now Dick Clark is on stage and I feel really, really bad for making that comment. God bless you Dick Clark.

9:15 I don't know if I want to live in a world where Barry Manilow beats Stephen Colbert. I just don't know.

9:30 Every year I look forward to the little videos of the nominations for Best Variety/Comedy Show Writing. This year didn't disappoint, especially the Conan Indian writing staff.

9:45 Haven't Middle Easterners dominated the Emmys for long enough? Steve Carell was robbed!

10:45 I was awoken from my Emmy coma -- Jack Bauer rules!

11:00 Yes, The Office IS the best comedy on television and 24 IS the best drama. Emmys - you're not all bad!

The Emmys

The Emmys are tonight. I'm a sucker for an awards show - I've already got the popcorn ready. Especially when 24 has so many nominations. If this man does not win for Best Supporting Actor I'll throw my TV out the window.

Who are the Casting Wizards at 24?

From TVGuide: Fox is confirming that Michael Angarano — aka Jack's long-lost son on Will & Grace — is joining 24 on a recurring basis.

I love this kid! He's like the white Behrooz. They just keep getting all the money C-list celebrities on this show.

Poll: what racial group is going to win and why?

Get ready for a segregated "Survivor."
On the upcoming season of the CBS show as contestants will be divided into four tribes by ethnicity; blacks, whites, Latinos and Asians will be in separate groups.

The announcement was made on CBS' Early Show. Host Jeff Probst says the idea "actually came from the criticism that 'Survivor' was not ethnically diverse enough." He says the twist fits in perfectly with what "Survivor" does, saying the show is "a social experiment. And this is adding another layer to that experiment." Probst says contestants had mixed reactions to the racial divisions.

Keep in mind that the blacks can't swim and that some of the whites may actually be Jews.

Project Runway: Robert (Isn't the) Best

Project Runway is the greatest show because I've watched this show from the beginning, and after 3 years it never ceases to amaze me. I don't know how they keep coming up with these great challenges - this one may have been the best yet. (It also made me wish they had used it in earlier seasons - I'd love to have seen Austin's mom.)

At first I thought designing for the "everyday woman" meant "fattie". But it was really cool that the models were their moms and sisters and that the designers couldn't pick their own relative.

Michael Kors's mom was the same shade of orange!!! I guess it's his natural skin tone, or they take frequent mother/son trips to Mystic Tan.

Way to have kid #6 Laura!! (I had already heard that so the news didn't shock me.) Did she get pregnant while on the show? If the kid comes out black or with neck tattoos we know who the daddy is!!

Only a Grade A Cocky Douchebag like Jeffrey would fight with someone's mom. And then have his own mom crying. What a mess he is. I think that officially puts him at the top of the list of Evil Project Runway contestants. And I don't know what that outfit was. He probably should have gone home, though I'm also glad he stayed so he can continue to fight with Angela.

Although I liked Robert initially, he hasn't been good these last couple challenges, so I'm fine with him going. Go Michael!!

Jen wins again! It's Amanda Bynes

Tuesday Confession

I caught Kevin Federline's "performance" on the Teen Choice Awards Sunday night. I just had to see it to see what was going on there. It was a mess. I mean, if it was meant to legitimize him it failed. He really seemed like a Vanilla Ice rip-off. Meaning Vanilla Ice is better. Oh my God it was horrid. I'm sure it's on You Tube, but I don't even want it posted to this blog -- believe it or not, I have standards. And of course his gum-snapping wife introduced him. Ick.

Guess who this is?

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Because he let me watch Prison Break tonight!! My plane got in a little early, and even though I had to wait for my luggage (thanks, terrorists), I made it! There wasn’t any traffic. And the first thing I heard when I got in the limo – yes, limo – was “Livin’ on a Prayer”!!! I took that as a good sign. And of course I discreetly did the dance Karen and I choreographed when we were kids. Checked into the hotel ultra-fast and literally ran to my room on the first floor. Of course, I had already researched which channel to watch – and I only missed a minute.

And it was awesome. So fun to see them now on the outside and see how the show will be evolving. And it’s as preposterous as ever and I LOVE IT!!!!! Gotta love T-Bag being so tough he freakin’ has his hand reattached without anesthesia!! I need to do some online hunting to find a bigger PB nerd who has deciphered the braille-looking stuff on the note Michael left for Sara.

24 News

From EW:

"Harold & Kumar" star Kal Penn has joined the cast of Fox's action drama "24" in a recurring role. He will play a guy who is somehow involved with the Islamic guru running the neighborhood mosque and might be the key to a terrorist plot.

I love this guy. Doesn't sound like the role will call for him to be funny though. Still, it's another great casting addition brought to you by the great folks at 24.

The Holy Day Has Arrived

Let the melodrama begin.

Little Miss Snake on a Plane

Little Miss Sunshine is maybe the best movie I've seen this year. I highly recommend it. It was funny, it was sad, it was so good. I literally laughed so hard I cried, and I wasn't the only one. It's just a lovely, lovely movie.

We also saw Snakes on a Plane. Spoiler alert: it's about a plane. With snakes on it. It was definitely entertaining and good for a rainy afternoon.

Now I get to get on a plane tomorrow and wait for the snake jokes. I'm off to New York for a few days of computer training for work. Yippee. At least the trip will allow me to catch up on my Junkies and Don & Mike podcasts, as well as finish out Season 1 of Prison Break.

Much love.

God Bless You, Entertainment Weekly

You are truly an heroic American institution. Thank you for your service to our country.

The Exciting World of Granite

This morning we went shopping for granite. We're re-doing our kitchen -- the cabinets are expected around the beginning of September. We found a gorgeous granite! It was the opposite of what I thought I wanted. I thought I'd go with a darker granite with gray in it. This is mostly beige but has some great dark parts, some pink tones, and awesome movement. If we go with it we'll have to do a full granite backsplash because the movement is so gorgeous.

It was the last variety we looked at - out of about 50 - and it was fresh off the boat!

I See Drunk People

At 3:20PM EST today, Haley Joel Osment was charged with four criminal counts:

• Driving under the influence of alcohol
• Driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher
• Enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher
• Possession of marijuana while driving

Oopsie! I guess he can't afford a better car than that 1995 Saturn if he's spending all his cash on hash.

Project Runway Gets Trashy

You gotta love a Project Runway episode where Tim Gunn calls out a size 2 model for being fat. Or, as he said in that Tim Gunn I'm-going-to-insult-you-in-the-nicest-way-possible way, "zaftig". Not as good an insult as the "gumby legs"/"marshmallow" model was last season though.

Vincent is such a mess. That dress was literally a shift with trash sprinkled on it. And he just LOVED it! At least Kayne can be honest and recognize that his wasn't good. Vincent actually said that his design "got him off". Eeww.

So glad Michael Kors is back because I love his insults too. The great one-two punch for Allison's dress: it looked like both a crumpled up dinner napkin and a brioche. Burn!

Jeffrey and Michael were great. I wasn't wild about Laura's like the judges were. Poor Allison. I think she's talented and I have a feeling the producers kept Vincent around simply because he's nuts. I'll miss her lazy-talker lisp too.

James Woods in the News

There are a lot of funny things about this story, especially the final quote, so I thought I'd share it.


Veteran actor James Woods has dumped his 20-year-old girlfriend, Ashley Madison, after the stress from the May-December relationship sent him to the emergency room. The 59-year-old star was distraught after his brother Michael died unexpectedly of a heart attack last month and was shocked by Madison's insensitivity during his funeral. Woods' friend Scott Sandler tells the New York Daily News that Madison showed up for the service dressed inappropriately "in a 3-inch miniskirt and chain-smoking." He explains, "At the funeral she was concerned about the amount of magazines she was in. Jimmy was on his knees with tears staining his shirt, and she was showing pictures of herself. Jimmy was so overcome by grief his blood pressure went through the roof early last week, and he had to go to the hospital. When he came out, it was like he had seen the light." The actor has known Madison, the pal of a golfing buddy, since she was five-years-old. Adds Sandler, "She's the anti-Christ. She truly has the soul of a moth and the brain of a dead trout."

R.I.P. Hell's Kitchen

It was a slow, painful death, but it's finally over. I'm proud (?) to say I picked Heather at the very beginning. This episode blew because it didn't have Chef Ramsey yelling and swearing at people, which is really the only reason to watch.

And that "surprise" press conference -- good thing the girls had blown out their hair and put on lip gloss beforehand! Give me a break. Now we can get back to important Monday night television like Prison Break and 24.

This is Neither Fun Nor Funny

Houman's ankle. What was it this time? Running a marathon?

Dude, that looks BRUTAL!!!

Prison Break Alert

If you haven't watched the first season of Prison Break, you have 1 week to catch up on 22 episodes of the most consistently good and fun-to-watch show on television. Buy the DVDs, rent them, steal them, whatever.

I'm wondering if the new season will be as good. I mean, without prison there will be no race riots, no prison love, no prison violence -- all the things I love so much. Most importantly, what about the homoeroticism between 2 brothers? Will that still be present on the outside? God I hope so.

This show kicks ass. I'm pretty salty that I have to travel to New York next Monday night, and will likely miss the premiere. If so, it'll be the first thing I do when I get back Wednesday evening!! I am butt excited for this show to start back up again.

The Perfect Day?

My sister Mary and her boyfriend Josh came to visit - our first visitors in Florida! Saturday we went to Jamba Juice, got to the beach at 9:30, stayed out until 2:00, and ate sweet potato fries at Lulu's. A great day!!! OK, so our shoulders ended up a little pink. The ocean is so clear here and the beach is so nice.

Today we went to the Seminole Hard Rock Casino to lose $3 at slots. Then to Hollywood. P.S.: Don't go there. Then we ate Pubic Pie for dinner. Oh, I'm sorry - Publix Key Lime Pie. It was money.

24 News

From TV Guide online:

Eric Balfour has signed on to reprise his
Season 1 role as independent CTU contractor Milo Pressman as a series regular. In other 24 news, former Star Trek: Deep Space Nine doc Alexander Siddig is joining the cast as one of the evildoers behind the big Season 6 plot. Additionally, Carlo Rota (aka Mr. Chloe O'Brian) will be back as a series regular.

Well this is just great news all around. I, like many 24 nerds, have been awaiting Milo's return. And of course Chloe's ex is great. And the baddies will be Middle Eastern - what more could you ask for? Siddig was great in Syriana. I've been so obsessed with Prison Break lately - now I'm getting excited for 24 again!!

Project Runway

Can I just say how much I loved The Bradley Show? His stoner wit and wisdom is priceless. And only a stoner would make a shirt that looked like a baked potato you get at Red Lobster. As funny as he was, he definitely deserved to go home.

Once again Michael and Kayne were fabulous!! I mean I thought Michael's was just amazing. The Crazy Brothers - Vincent and Bradley - were hideous. I didn't like Jeffrey's at all. And I'm ashamed to say that Angela's was really really good. And Robert's wasn't. Angela and Robert have done a total 180 from the beginning of the season. Hopefully tonight will be a wake-up call for Robert because he's been my top pick - he did some great stuff at the beginning and needs to go back to that.

Oh Good Lord

For whatever the opposite of a Spank Bank is.

A Guest Post from Kim

Here's one for the Spank Bank!
(The classy, black & white Spank Bank.)

WTF?

What. The F. Is that????????

Hell's Kitchen

Does it go without saying that Hell's Kitchen sucked last night? Heather has about 500 times the skill in the kitchen that Tits McGee does - it's not even gonna be close. (Or is that what the producers want you to think?) I really can't see either of these women running a restaurant. Thank God next week is the last show (and apparently not 2 hours long either - yay!) - it looks like it'll be action packed. But it won't be.

Birthday Party

Owen's first birthday party was great!! He's really smart - he knows what sound bacon makes - that's a kid after my own heart!



And Owen ended his birthday party the way every good
birthday party should end -- with the birthday boy passed out.

Wentworth of the Week

Season One on DVD today!! At long last I have something truly fulfilling to do during the day. I worked 11 hours yesterday, so once I've finished my couple hours of work today I'm going into the SHU with Michael Scofield, T-Bag, and friends.

And Season 2 premieres August 21!

Happy Birthday O-Dawg

I'm leaving for a weekend in beautiful suburban Philadelphia - to celebrate my nephew's first birthday!!! I can't believe he's already 1!!!!!!! Peace out!

DAMMIT!

I dare you to play along with this 24 drinking game. Is it January yet?

Before and after plastic surgery

Project Runway: Cheaters Never Win

So the big controversy didn't disappoint! Keith is a lousy cheater and deserved to go. But if Keith gets kicked out for having pattern-making books, shouldn't Bradley be kicked out for all the pot he's smoking? The man is high as a kite.

Angela winning totally blows because I do NOT like to see Angela confident. She jumps up and down and squeals and it's not pretty. Go back to making your hideous skirts and rosettes and LEAVE!

I was shocked to see Bonnie get kicked off because she got kicked off last week. Oh no, that was Katharine. They were the same person to me. Too close of a call for my Main Gay Robert. Pull it together, man!

Next week: Michael Kors returns in all his orange glory. I really missed him because I just know he would have used the word "vulgar" to describe some outfits these last 2 challenges. Can't wait to see him cut down Angela.

I was wrong

The Barbie head has more personality.

Posh Barbie

Oh my God she looks just like the big Barbie head thing I had when I was a kid that you would put make-up on. Frightening!!!

He's just trying to have a good time.

Hello God are you there?....it's me Mel

Do I scare you?

I'm sleepy




Help me to my car ladies

Mel Hearts Jews

Actor-director Mel Gibson apologized Tuesday for making anti-Semitic remarks during his drunken driving arrest last week, saying the comments were "blurted out in a moment of insanity."

So Mel says he's not an anti-Semite. But what kind of person just blurts these things out when they're drunk? They have to come from somewhere. When H gets drunk he talks about how he likes to bang 14-year-old girls. Does that mean he's not a pedophile? I don't think so.

Did you like that? How I threw H under the bus instead of writing about what I say when I'm drunk?

{insert "Brokeback Mountain" joke here}

Batman is heading into a sequel, titled "The Dark Knight," and he will face off against the Joker, this time played by Heath Ledger. Christian Bale, the star of last year's "Batman Begins," will reprise his role as Bruce
Wayne/Batman and Christopher Nolan is returning to the directing chair. An early 2007 start date is being eyed for the sequel. Before then, Bale and Nolan will be in theaters this fall with the Disney release "The Prestige."

I'm all for this!!! Yippee!!! And "The Prestige" looks kick-ass too!