Project Runway

I knew going in that someone really talented got booted, and that Tim Gunn was upset by it, so I'm guessing Bert and Joshua are safe....

Challenge: Design for the 70's-revival trend. Ugh, they just did that with the band - but now for women. And they're supposed to do sophisticated, not literal and retro.  Fine - I'll allow it.

During the shopping trip to Mood, Anya loses her money envelope. Jesus - there are cameras everywhere - no one saw anything? That's the biggest dagger on earth -- and if she goes home because of that, it sucks. Anya is able to use whatever the designers have left over - $11.50 and whatever extra fabric they can spare - and muslin. Time to make it work, girl!

Second Part of the Challenge: Design a second, one-piece look for $50.

I hated Kimberly's separates.  The jumper was really cute, but was sewn onto her model last-minute - no zipper.   Anthony Ryan used some crazy-ass awful-ass prints and his looks were fugly and I thought more 60's than 70's.  Nina said his girl looked like she was in a cult.  Zing!  (And accurate.)  Bert's hot pants were gross, but the top and his second dress were adorable.    Joshua's hot pink top with plaid pants made me vomit -- ugliest thing ever.  Anya and Viktor were both really good.  Laura's prints were really gross together; I liked her second look, but could see how it was boring. 

Winner: Anya.  Holy crap - and with virtually no money!  She rules!  Even if everything she makes is printed and flowy, it's always awesome.

Bye-bye: Anthony Ryan.  OK, so that sucks because I loved him, but these looks are fugly as hell, so it's not unwarranted.  Cult indeed.

50/50 and Moneyball

Never let it be said that I don't have ambition. This weekend, I achieved my goal of seeing 3 movies -- and saw them in a 24-hour period.



Of all of them, 50/50 might have been my favorite. I mean, Drive is awesome, but how can you not love a feel-good cancer comedy? It's really about the friendship of these 2 guys - but without being sentimental or false. I want Seth Rogen to be my BFF. He can even help me through cancer. It's a great movie -- legitimately funny and real -- never melodramatic or schmaltzy. It's wonderful. See it.



Moneyball was enjoyable but has one small flaw -- it's about baseball. And baseball is boring. And long. And even if it's about the baseball back office, it's still about baseball. Jonah Hill is great in it -- and it's your last chance to catch Fat Jonah Hill cuz now he's all freaky-skinny. But if you find baseball boring, you can wait for the DVD.

Fringe

In the Other Universe, a dude drills people in the back of the skull, kind of pulls out their memories, and makes them freeze from the inside-out. Our Universe is asked to find the killer's doppelganger (a professor/profiler who specializes in serial killers), bring him Over There, and see if he can lead them to... himself. The FBI tranquilizes the guy to transport him.

God, I love Fauxlivia's red hair and kickass pants and boots and bad attitude. Too bad she's such a bitch to My Olivia. Other Lincoln is by far superior to Our Lincoln, gun strapped to his leg and all, and he and Fauxlivia are soooo cute together. Too bad Charlie was off on his honeymoon with the Bug Lady. It's pretty amazing that these actors play 2 different yet identical people and make them look and feel so different -- too bad they'll never get Emmy love because the Emmys stink.

As Our Professor is looking through Their Killer's apartment, he sees a picture of his father. Well, that little charade didn't last long, did it? Who thought that was a good idea? The Other Universe has bad judgment. Aren't they going to have to kill him now?

Our Professor admits that he had creepy, violent tendencies as well (killed some animals in his youth), but got mentally-healthy because of a woman who took care of him as a child. He sneaks off because he knows where his doppelganger will be hiding, and tries to talk him down. Instead, The Killer drills him in the back of his skull and hooks their brains together (what else did you expect - this is Fringe) so he can pull out Our Professor's memories of the woman who helped him. The Killer ends up killing himself, and Our Professor is left without memories of the woman, or memories of the time he's been helping Fringe Division. Convenient.

Oh snap! Guess what? Other Broyles isn't dead!!!!! When Peter rewrote the timeline he's alive! YAYYYYY! The tight tee shirts are back!

Walter doesn't do much this episode, but he reenacts an 80's Memorex commercial, blasting Mozart to soothe himself and drown out Peter. This Walter is clearly even more off his rocker than ever, plus he's haunted by flashes and sounds of Peter. In his grand tradition of botching names, Walter calls Lincoln "Kennedy".

This Week's Code: LIMBUS. At first I thought I translated it wrong, but the internet is a beautiful thing. It's a Latin word meaning "edge, border," or "region on the border of Hell," and thus sometimes used in English for limbo. Nice.

Drive

Drive is the perfect mix of pretentious art-house noir and violence. It's so stylized that at times I swear it could be a musical. The score is great but it builds into these extended 80's-style songs (that I've never heard before, so not sure if they are actually 80's or just sound like it) that play over the movie. It sometimes seems like a legit musical.

But really it's a semi-action/car chase/gangster movie. There are these short bursts of incredible violence that punctuate an otherwise quiet film. It's the slowest burn ever. Just sit back for the first hour and enjoy the Los Angeles setting and Ryan Gosling in kickass driving gloves with a toothpick in his mouth. Without those bursts of violence -- again, they are short as hell but all the more powerful for it -- I do believe there would be very little sound in this film.

It's great though -- there's something to be said for a movie that doesn't overdo the action. In any other movie, the chase scenes would have been long and drawn out. Instead, they accentuate a very stylish, stylized movie. There's really no way to describe it other than "bursts", so I'll use that word for the 50th time. Drive is bursting with good time fun!

Project Runway

I totally slept on having last week's Project Runway to catch up on! Bad fan!

Challenge: Design looks for a scruffy, unsigned rock band (of men) to be featured in Rolling Stone. It's a team challenge with two teams of 4 so each team member designs for 1 band member -- 1. Olivier, Viktor, Kimberly, Joshua; 2. Bert, Anya, Laura, and Anthony. But even though it's a team challenge, it's not like they're sharing looks or have a leader or need to make a cohesive collection, so there aren't the same stresses that usually come with a team challenge.

The lengthy Garnier hair consultations are sooooo shoehorned in. The guys all have long hair, but let's be honest - they're all going to have the usual guys' hairstyle. No one's doing bouffants or braids. Wait - I take that back. Bert's dude got braids. Oy.

Olivier does a lot of whining about his client being fat. A lot. Everything's looking really blousy and ugly, but especially Olivier's. Oy. Instead of a runway, the band performs in each of their outfits.

The outfits are 60s/70s-looking, Halloween-costumey things; far too literal. They're largely fugly and really only Laura's and Viktor's are passable. Anya's and Kimberly's tops both crapped the bed in a big way. What a crappy challenge - design for scruffy, outdated, schlubby guys. Worst. Outfits. Ever. What really sucks is that someone's going to have to go home for this and if it's Anya or Kimberly I'll cry.

Winner: Viktor. Yay because I love him. But I thought that was waaaaay too much fringe.



Bye-Bye: Olivier. Thank GOD!! Because let's face it - he's lame and it was almost Kimberly and I would have DIED. She had the worst outfit, but she's always awesome. Outside of faux-70s menswear.

There is a God

Kevin Costner has dropped out of Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming spaghetti Western-cum-period-slavery-picture Django Unchained, EW has confirmed.

Breaking Bad

Oh, how re-watching last week's episode brings me so much joy!

Jesse comes speeding in to a pop-up ER in a warehouse with Gus passed out in back and Mike gut-shot in the front seat. The doctor and staff only rush to assist Gus. Jesse has to bring Mike into the OR on his own. Mike's bleeding everywhere, but Gus pays the doctor's salary, so there you go. POOR MIKE SO HELP ME GOD NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO HIM!!!!

The doctor has a fridge fully stocked with blood for Mike, Jesse, and Gus, and knows everything about Jesse's health. Gus is all better, so he and Jesse leave; Mike has to stay behind for at least a week. So now it's time for Gus and Jesse to hike across the border together. AWESOME!!! Gus tells Jesse he can do the cook by himself now, and Jesse says that if he's going to do that, then Gus needs to let Walter walk away. Don't kill him, just pay him off and let him go. Gus says that won't work.

Walt's cooking under the supervision of Gus's man, wondering where everyone else is. Hank takes him out to spy on the chicken farm and mentions that he's heard rumors of a major cartel massacre in Mexico.

Ted's still being a major douche and refusing to pay the IRS. Skyler had used the Walter-gambling story to explain the money and the fear of government scrutiny. But Douche Ted suddenly develops a conscience and doesn't want to use Skyler's money. Because it's not enough -- he needs more so he can pay off his house, save himself from bankruptcy, etc., etc. I don't think Skyler's used to a man that actually stands up to her -- he won't do what she wants! She's just going to have to have his brakes cut or something. Ted's a dead man. Skyler calls Saul.

Gus pays a visit to Hector, the man whose evil bell-ringing haunts my dreams, and presents him with Don Eladio's necklace to let him know everybody's dead (including Hector's grandson, who was the guy Jesse shot). Gus rubs Hector's face in it, but Hector still won't look him in the eye.

When Walt picks Hank up for the next stakeout, Hank instead has him drive to an industrial laundry he wants to check out. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Instead of turning into the laundry, Walter turns his car into oncoming traffic. I totally called that he was going to do that - there was no other choice!

Saul sends Bill Burr to Ted's house (after making sure he doesn't own a gun or have a good alarm system) to convince him to write a check to the IRS. I'm worried we're going to have a Fargo-type situation where things go awry. And that's pretty much exactly what happens -- Ted goes running, trips on his rug, slams his head into his kitchen island, and dies (I'm assuming). It's still awesome though. At least the check's in the mail....

Back at the lab, Walter knows someone's been cooking while he's been out of commission for 4 days. And guess what -- Jesse's back with his girl and playing video games with her son! AWWWWW! It's so cute! I love it! Walter goes to see him there, pretty much begging for his life and saying that if Jesse agrees to cook on his own, Walt's a dead man. Jesse's pretty much like, F U, you wanted me in a barrel. He goes back into the house, and Gus's men hit Walter with a taser.

Now we're in the desert and Walter has a bag over his head. This show is driving me crazy with tension tonight!!! Gus shows up and fires him - tells him to stay away from the laundry and from Jesse. Walter, ever the asshole, says, "Stay away from Pinkman or else you'll do what?" OMG! He's going to keep challenging him!! Walter knows Gus won't kill him, because if he did then Jesse wouldn't cook for him. Gus didn't succeed in turning Jesse against him. OF COURSE HE DIDN'T - JESSE LOVES YOU, WALTER! Gus says Jesse will come around. LOL times a million. Then Gus says he'll kill Walter's wife, son, and infant daughter (I screamed incoherently at that) if Walter doesn't let Gus take care of the Hank situation.

Walter runs right to Saul to get the information on the guy who can save his family and get them new identities. Saul gives him the business card for a vacuum salesman. LOL again. Walter has to get his family ready before he makes the call, have half a million ready, and there's no turning back. He begs Saul to phone in an anonymous tip that there's a hit out on Hank. And then he heads to the crawl space to get the cash -- well, guess what -- there isn't enough. Because Skyler's fat ass gave it to Ted. This is the point at which Walter just effing loses it. Screams and cries until he laughs like a crazy person.

And if that's not enough, Marie calls Skyler to tell her that they got word that someone wants to kill Hank, and so agents are guarding their house. Walter is still laughing maniacally in the background. It's the scariest thing I've ever heard. And we end with a great shot of Walter on the floor of the crawl space, as viewed through the hole in the floor. It was really awesome how the shots were paced with the music and the phone ringing and the laughing and the INSANITY!

OH MY GOD - EVERYTHING IS SUCH A MESS!!! I LOVE IT!! Honestly, this episode would have been a great season finale. But that's what's so great about the show -- IT ISN'T! We're in for even more!

Fringe

So the Universes have partially come together and our credits are yellow. We also have the kickass Lincoln Lee with hot-ass glasses and an Astrid who works in the field. And, every so often, a flash of Peter breaking through from wherever he is.

Our team gets introduced to Lincoln because his partner is killed under mysterious circumstances. Lincoln's all-in on the freaky secretive stuff and joins the team. Our Freak of the Week is a translucent dude who kills a bunch of people who have high levels of heavy metals in their blood so he can, I don't know, make himself not translucent? It's freaky and cool and pretty gross, but not explained.

So I guess the 2 Universes are really only joined in that one room. The 2 Olivias don't get along so well; they're awesomely bitchy with each other as they start to "work together" and exchange files. At the end, Olivia gets Lincoln clearance to enter the facility, where you can see one Universe's sky outside one window and the other's out the other.

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He eats popcorn while Astrid transmits video of a victim back to him in the lab. This is also when we have the Quote of the Episode: "I need to check her anus."

This Week's Code: APPEAR

This episode was a bit all over the place and odd, but I think it's fitting with the fact that they're resetting the show. And it should feel odd because something's missing -- Pacey!

Project Runway

Challenge: Menswear! And some of the men are pigs! But it's a fake-out! The men aren't the models -- their wives/girlfriends are -- and the men are collaborating with the designers. The fake-out was lame; what else makes this such a different challenge? We get to find out how much guys-we-don't-know know about chicks-we-don't-know? Who cares. A guy actually called his chick "a hot piece of tushie." Jesus Christ.

I hate real people -- as models and clients. They're obnoxious, chatty, think they know all about fashion, and think they're funny. Olivier's couple is particularly awful. It's not like the clients have anything on the line, other than their fat asses walking down the runway....

Viktor's look was perfection and really fit his quirky chick's look. Joshua's dress was amazing - and totally unadorned, which for him is a miracle. There's a case where the client was actually helpful - he wanted to put mirrored squares on the thing. Joshua stinks. Learn to edit! Anya's flowy dress was its usual gorgeous self.

Winner: Joshua! Fabulous - the back of that dress was really lovely and his girl looked great. I'm going to include a picture of Viktor's too just because it was so damn adorable.




Bye-bye: Bryce. His chick wanted the pink, so she got the pink. I didn't think it was awful, but it was between him and Anthony Ryan, so I'm cool.

This Has To Happen

Before it gets yanked again, check out Jesse Pinkman dropping by Dunder Mifflin. Love it.

YES!!

Margo Martindale and Peter Dinklage won Emmys!

And yes, OK, I'll freaking start watching Modern Family....

Breaking Bad

We now interrupt The Emmys to watch Breaking Bad. (Quick Emmy note: Did you see the video with Jesse Pinkman on The Office? It was amazing. Tomorrow I'm going to find the video, link to it, and watch it 600 times. I wish it were real. OK - found this link, but the sound sucks. Still worth it!!)

As is tradition, we re-watch the previous week's episode of Breaking Bad before watching the new one. God, that fight was amazing. Watching it for the first time, I was so afraid someone was going to pull out a gun - I just wouldn't put it past this show to do. And now watching it again, when things are less tense, GODDAMN I HATE WALTER WHITE!!! This man doesn't realize what he's done to Jesse. Remember innocent, goofy little screw-up dimebagger Jesse? With the messy hair and baggy clothes? Now we have this cold, haunted, dark skinhead version of Jesse who wears kickass black leather jackets. And Walter doesn't care. Jesse's reaching out to him for help, plus warning Walter about the imminent cartel war -- and Walter can only think of himself. He doesn't realize what he's made this kid do for him and how it has impacted him. He doesn't trust Jesse after Jesse killed Gale for him? Walter stinks and even if it means Jesse has to become a career criminal, I'm all for Mike being Jesse's New Daddy. At any rate, I'm glad Jesse got to take out all of this frustration on Walter, since I wasn't able to.

OK - on with this week's episode. Mike, Jesse, and Gus board a prop plane in the middle of nowhere and Gus is holding a gift-wrapped box. Seriously? If this were the series finale I would be sure it contained Walter's head.

Walter himself is MIA so Skyler presents Walter Jr. with his 16th birthday present - a car. And it's a PT Cruiser - OK, that's hysterical!!! After the Charger? Nice ride, Junior.

The Three Amigos are blindfolded and taken to a Super Lab in Mexico where Jesse has to be the main dude and teach the formula. Go Jesse! At first he's thrown (he says he gets a chemical from "the barrel with the bee on it" whereas they expect him to synthesize it). But then he's awesome -- lectures them on the cleanliness of their lab, bosses them around, it's brilliant. He's so badass and Mike is so proud!!!!!! Gus too! Once Jesse passes his Cooking Exam, the Cartel tells him he's staying with them in Mexico. Wha??

Walter Jr. swings by Walter's place and Walter answers the door the only way I like him to -- bloodied, and in his tighty whities. His cover story to Junior is that he was gambling and got in a fight, and begs him not to tell Skyler. He starts crying and says he made a mistake and I'm hoping it's not an act on his part (though I'll bet it is) and that he's finally upset over what he did with Jesse. Walter Junior puts his dad to bed and Walter's all mumbling and out of it and he CALLS HIM JESSE!!! I "awwwwwwwed" loudly. OK, so maybe he meant it after all. Now just say it to Jesse, asshole.

Meanwhile, Saul meets with Ted Beneke -- to notify him of a "dead great-aunt" who has left him "an inheritance" -- i.e., Skyler is giving this asshole Walter's money!! It's the right decision though I guess -- can't have the government poking around in your stuff when you're a White. But really? Dead relative? Wonder if that'll stick. But the best part? Saul gets to be all, "I told you so" to Skyler because he brings her Ted's credit report - hours after getting the money, he leased a Mercedes. Ha! Love it! Ted's a freaking dirtbag and Skyler's plan didn't work -- she better let him have it. Ted doesn't want to take Skyler's advice - he wants to fight the IRS and get his business going instead. I kind of love that her plan has fallen apart and she doesn't have any control over the situation. But then Skyler can't resist - she tells him that she gave him the money. UGH!

The Three Amigos hang out by Don Eladio's pool, the site of Gus's BF's death so many years ago. Gus hands over Jesse as the new cook, like he's a bride or a slave, and then presents the boss with his gift -- tequila. I should mention at this point that, while looking at the pool wistfully, Gus took a pill. Mike (my husband, not the character) immediately goes -- "he took an antidote." Tequila shots proceed to be passed around all the Cartel guys. And Jesse can't drink because he's in recovery. OMFG MIKE IS RIGHT!!!!!! After a bit, everyone starts collapsing and Mike strangles the security guy. Gus pukes and is a bit affected by the poison, but walks out with Jesse and Mike's assistance.

I love this. Love it. How does Gus continue to be so goddamn brilliant? He took out the Cartel!!!!!!!!!!! It took 20 years but he got revenge! Jesse and Mike load Gus into a car -- and then a dude opens fire. He hits Mike and I scream, and then Jesse takes his ass out. He shoots him 100 times like he's playing his goddamn video game. Mike's still alive, so that's good. And Jesse the hero drives them away. Jesse. The Motherlovin' Hero. Who needs Walter White? Jesse = the man. Holy crap.

That episode was amazing.

OK Fine

I'm going to start watching Modern Family. Just give me a few months or something.

No Wait I Love Her More

Aubrey Plaza: My dreamgirl.

Jesus

Is everyone wearing red at the Emmys tonight!?

Nina Dobrev Is Hotter Than You

Nice try. Oh God I hate this bitch. For absolutely no reason.

Wow

I don't watch The Vampire Diaries, but I might have to. New Girl Crush: Nina Dobrev. Holy crap.

The Emmys Are Tonight

Hey, so remember The Emmys last year? When I was all, "Who the eff is this Aaron Paul punk and why does Bryan Cranston keep winning awards?"



Yeah. 2010 Me stinks -- what an idiot.

Sorry Your Mom's Such a Bitch

Cute first name, but he's doomed to a life with this controlling C.

And baby makes two.

Mad Men star January Jones welcomed her first child on Tuesday, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.

Son Xander Dane Jones and the new mom are "doing great," the rep says.

Jones, 33, chose to keep the sex of her baby under wraps, remarking "it's going to be a surprise for me" during a June interview.

The actress announced the pregnancy in April. A source told PEOPLE at the time, "She’s really looking forward to this new chapter in her life as a single mom."

Breaking Bad

Another violence warning!! Eeeeee! The cold open is Walter dripping blood on the floor and reaching for his broken glasses.

It's cool to see Hank all jazzed up and happy again, singing "Eye of the Tiger" (badly) as Walter drives him to retrieve the GPS tracking device from Gus's car. Of course, the device only shows Gus going from home to work and back again. But Hank won't let it go - he's interested in the chicken farm now. Walter calls Mike to give him the tip that they'll be coming by soon, and Mike starts supervising the cleaning he does so well.

Walter sees Gus's guy following them into Hank's neighborhood -- and that badass Walt pulls up alongside the car, rolls the window down, and calls the cops on him!!! Then he bums a cigarette from Jesse outside the lab. Oh Jesus, Walter's on a hot streak, watch out.

The car wash business is going so well that Skyler tells Walter he doesn't have to work his second job anymore. Time to think about an exit strategy. (Yeah, bitch, he's all over that.) Ted stops by the car wash to tell Skyler he's being audited by the IRS - criminal division. She's in a panic because her name is all over his books, and she certainly can't afford getting wrapped up in an audit. She shows up to the audit with a ton of makeup and her fat tits hanging out. No one wants that, Skyler. She plays dumb, like she's a dumb bimbo twat accountant who uses Quicken (oh guess what - she is, that's not much of an act). So it appears Ted will be off the hook for the criminal charges, but he still owes a ton of money -- and he's driving around in a car as bad as Jesse's. I hope this bitch doesn't pay his bills.

As they're cleaning up the chicken farm, a sniper shoots a dude in the head right in front of Jesse. Mike tackles Jesse to get him out of the sniper's range. Then Gus walks his bad-as-shit ass out of the warehouse, walking toward the gunman, shots ringing out the whole time. He opens his arms wide, silently saying, "Come and get me bitches, I dare you!" (Jesse later calls it "Terminator shit" because Jesse rules.) The sniper leaves. Later, Gus gets a call and says, "Tell them the answer is Yes."

Mike and Jesse bring the dude's body to the lab, a/k/a Walter's House of Meth Cooking and Body Disposal. Mike tells Walter to quit with the calling cops on his guys - Mike is the MAN tonight!!

Jesse shows up to Gus's for a dinner date because he's had some questions, and Mike said they should just speak directly. Gus asks Jesse if he can cook Walter's formula. Jesse says no, and that if Gus kills Mr. White he'll have to kill him too. Gus says that's not what he asked....

So earlier we saw that Walter had a tracking device on his end table. He uses it to track Jesse -- so he knows he met with Gus. Jesse calls Walter over to his house, where Jesse tells him he's being sent to Mexico so that he can give the Cartel the formula and teach them how to cook it. Walter just sits there and listens as Jesse rambles on, then finally confronts him on his dinner date and the not-killing-Gus. They proceed to beat the crap out of each other. These 2 just need to do it already.

Jesse asks Walter if he can walk. "Then get the fuck out of here and never come back." That was intense and awesome. And I'm sure the whole formula thing is the truth too - even if Walter didn't buy it -- that the Cartel doesn't really want Walter dead, that they want the formula.

Next week: Mike and Jesse take their show on the road to Mexico!!

Breaking Bad

I think we can all agree that Breaking Bad is as perfect as television gets. And if you don't agree, then you likely haven't seen it. Get on that. There are very few things about this show that have ever rung false. But when rewatching last week's episode tonight, I realized we got one of those odd moments -- Gale was 34 years old. Yeah. Right. If he was 34, then I'm 15. I mean, some people go prematurely gray, but that man looks ollld. Rant over. (But seriously, Breaking Bad, what the hell? Thanks for just being near-perfect.)

We start off tonight with a violence warning!!! YESSSSSSS!

Walter's back at the hospital for a routine checkup, talking to a fellow cancer patient about how he has control over his life. Sure. God, I love little scenes like that that say so much about the kind of man Walter is - an out of control, panicking bastard who wants to pretend he's cool, calm, and collected.

The DEA and APB call Gus in and tell him his fingerprints were found at the scene of a drug-related homicide. Oh god, here we go. But Gus has his cover at the ready -- Gale was the recipient of a chemistry scholarship he had established. They were just getting reacquainted and had dinner, that's all. Hank drops the nugget that Gustavo Fring might not be his real name, that there's no evidence of him before the 1980's in Mexico. Gus covers that up by blaming the Chilean dictator. Smooth.

Saul drops cash off to Jesse's old GF, who has found a nice place to live for her and her son. Meanwhile, Skyler's hiding fat stacks of cash in those vacuum-packed bags, hidden amongst clothes.

Walter gives Hank a drive to Pollos, and Hank tells him that he thinks Gus is a major meth drug lord. Walter starts losing his shit, quietly, as you would expect. Hank asks Walter to put a GPS tracker on Gus's car. And at that moment, Mike pulls up in the parking lot. Pulls up, sees Walter talking to Hank, exchanges meaningful glances, and sits there. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Walter pretends to put the tracker on the car, but then goes into the restaurant and shows it to Gus. Gus tells him to go ahead and do it, and so he does. But Walter's in control of his life. Right.

Walter rushes to the lab and tells the camera all about Hank's suspicions, and pretty much begs Gus not to harm Hank. I love when Walter has one-sided conversations with the camera. Then he rushes to Jesse's house to get a progress report; he wants Gus to get got tonight. He tells Jesse that Hank's on to Gus, and if Gus goes down they'd go with him. He has a whole elaborate plan for how Jesse should demand to see Gus (of course he does). Then he sees a text from Mike that was talking about a meeting with Gus that got canceled. So now he knows that Jesse has seen Gus since the diner, is closer with Gus than he thought, and yet hasn't killed him as he was instructed. Jesse's not your little bitch boy anymore, Walter White!!!

Mike did some digging around and found out that Hank is doing this investigation on his own, that Gus isn't considered a suspect by real law enforcement. But he tells Gus he's concerned that the combination of the Cartel + Hank could be a perfect storm. Gus removes the GPS tracking device from his car and goes to visit the bell-ringing Uncle. (God, that man terrifies me like no other. At least there's no bell ringing tonight.)

Flashback to the 1980s when Gus and the other Pollo Hermano meet with the head of the Cartel, along with the Uncle. The Hermanos are cooking up more than just good chicken - they're cooking up the "drug of the future" - meth. Jesus, Gus really gave birth to the whole meth movement!

Anyway, Gus's partner does the cooking while Gus is the business guy. The head of the cartel wants to know - if he cooks, why do I need you? It's all so much like when Gus, Tuco, and everyone else wondered why they needed Jesse if Walter was the cook. Gus's partner assures everyone that he needs Gus, and then Gus's partner is shot in the head by the Uncle. And there's where our violence warning comes from, as he bleeds into the pool behind him. (That's it? I've seen way worse from this show - like, say, the season premiere. They raised those stakes, dammit!) We see Gus as a sniveling man, out of control, who is kept alive due to some past connection, and is told to stick with chicken. Interesting parallels with Walter there, as Walter tries to grow himself a big set of Gus Fring balls and become a drug kingpin of his own.

Attack the Block

Why do aliens always invade nice, white neighborhoods? Like those kids from Super 8 - nice, all-American, suburban white kids. What if instead aliens attacked the hood? That's what goes down in Attack the Block, which is a "Best Movie Ever."

Certainly the best aliens-attack-urban-youths-in-South-London movie ever made. It was great, and it was a legit alien invasion movie, not a spoof (though still funny). The kids were all adorably-badass - kind of like if the teens from The Wire had to save their housing project from aliens.

Definitely check it out if it comes to your area. Trust me, bruv!

The Debt

In my rating system, The Debt gets an "Awesome Movie." It's kind of a rare movie - not all drama, not all action, certainly no blockbuster. It's a thriller for grownups. It's a nice movie to transition from Summer to Fall, from the big over-the-top movies to something more serious but not terribly depressing.

It tells the story of Israeli agents taking down an evil Nazi doctor in the '60s and then also goes forward to present day (or 1997, at least). Helen Mirren is always great to watch. Jessica Chastain is in about 100 movies this summer alone (though this is the only one I've seen) -- I really like her too.

It's not like you have to run out and see the movie this second, but it's definitely worth watching and a satisfying thriller.

Project Runway

Challenge: Collaborate with art school kids to create an avant garde look inspired by the kids' artwork. The art kids are adorable (some quiet and shy, some won't shut up) and amazing artists.

Bert must be back on his meds because he's hella upbeat - for Bert. "It's a tough challenge and we're all doing the best we can." Cheerleader Bert is weird. Olivier glues his dress onto his model. Has he not heard of double-stick tape? Tim catches him and makes him take off the glue - it's cheating because it means his dress has construction problems. We might get tit on the runway!!

Kimberly's feathery look was very cool. Olivier's was lame, and even lamer - no tit. Bert made some horrid clown costume with giant high-waisted pants. Shudder. Laura's fluttery look was gorgeous. Josh C. made a trashy, rejected costume from Twilight. Anya's was crazy and amazing. I couldn't believe Kimberly and Anya were just in the middle.

Winner: Anthony Ryan. I thought his dress looked a little too glued-on, but I love him.



Bye-bye: Josh C. Yeah, it never works out when rejected contestants get a second chance. You were rejected for a reason.

Breaking Bad

Jesse uses a video game for shooting practice. Oh how innocent and sweet this little killer is. He also has visions of shooting Gale along with the zombies, but at least he's alone in his meth house. That kid is on his way to becoming a killer for a drug lord and 10 bucks says he kills Walter before the show's over. (The whole series, not this episode.)

Skyler made arrangements with the car dealership to take the Challenger back, and instructs Walter to do so. Of course she did. Instead, he takes it to an empty parking lot to do insane donuts and pretend he's a stunt driver. And then he lights the thing on fire and blows it up. Ol' "rebellious" Walt. Gotta love the asshole.

At this point on Sunday, my power went out and I cursed God's existence. Now to finish watching courtesy of Amazon....

Walter visits Saul who gets him out of trouble for the destruction of property. It's gonna set him back $52,000, not to mention the cost of the car. This giant idiot. Saul has a lot of audio tapes in his safe and that makes me laugh - gotta wonder what kind of conversations he has saved up and why. Walter asks Saul to find a hitman to get Gus. Saul suggests Craigslist, but then says that Jesse can get near Gus.

Walter visits Jesse, who is painting the living room, finishing the former meth house's conversion. Walter's suspicious about (and likely insane with jealousy/paranoia over) Gus seeing something in Jesse. He does the patented Walter White Manipulation on Jesse, bringing up the whole past with Gus, the death of his girlfriend's brother, etc. "Is it possible he'd think you're that weak-willed?" Jesus Christ, Walter is cruel. Jesse tells him to drop the sales pitch, that he'll kill Gus the first chance he gets.

Walter supplies Jesse with Ricin to slip into Gus's food or drink. Jesse hides it in a cigarette, and now I have to be nervous every time he sees Gus. He's going to get caught with it, he just isn't that good.... Wonder if he'll go through with it - or if he'll accidentally smoke it.

Under Skyler's management, the car wash rocks an awesome 80's soundtrack. Walter brings in $274,000 in cash with the Coke Zero. Waaaahhhh, it's too much for Skyler to launder through the car wash, waaaahhh. Oh, looks like some fat bitch is over her head. She stinks.

Hank is walking with a walker, and he and Walter Jr. take their crippled asses to a Pollos for lunch. Gus comes to greet them and even offers Junior a job. Ha! That would be hilarious - Junior working the legitimate side of the business. Gus grabs Hank a refill, and Hank grabs the cup for fingerprints. SHIT! I sooo don't want Gus to get caught!

It's Meeting Day at the chicken farm. Gus v. The Cartel. There are TONS of security dudes around. Jesse brings the requisite veggie platter, and Mike also gives him a gun - for emergencies only. The Cartel turns out to be one dude who is the spokesperson for the group. Gus offers him 50 million dollars to conclude all business. But the Cartel wants something else, and we're left hanging.

Jesse goes back to his rehab group meeting, and tells them he's 4 days sober. Yay! He also tells the group that he killed Gale, but by saying he killed a problem dog. Long story short, Aaron Paul earns his second Emmy. The group leader doesn't want people judging Jesse for his actions, but Jesse says there are some things you just shouldn't "accept". Throws it back in his face about running over his own kid and everything. I pretty much just sat there in stunned silence. Oh, self-loathing Jesse, you are painful to watch.

Hank's back at work, walking with a cane. He linked the writing on Gale's Pollo bag with a model number for a huge air filter, the air filter to Pollos... and Gus's fingerprints to Gale's apartment. Holy Jesus. It's all coming down, son!!!!!

Project Runway

Challenge: Run around a track and the top 4 runners become the captains of teams of 3 to design 3 looks to go with Heidi Klum's sneakers. But not before Cecilia and her whiny face quit. Bye-bye, pissy bitch.

It's pretty great watching designers run. They look ridiculous, and Olivier falls halfway through and has a panic attack during medical treatment. Jesus Christ, people, keep living up to stereotypes.

The teams break down like this:

Joshua - Anya and Becky
Bryce - Kimberly and Danielle
Anthony Ryan - Laura and Bert
Viktor - Olivier. Since the quitter quit, Viktor gets to choose an ousted contestant to come back and join the competition. My bald Joshua is coming back!

The teams generally struggle and Bert is his usual Debbie Downer self. Joshua calls Becky's design aesthetic dowdy and she walks out of the workroom and bawls her eyes out in the bathroom. You see, the designers have to work through the night - til 4 AM - so things are even testier than normal. Bert is so. damn. bitchy!

Viktor's look is amazing, and his team's collection is the best. Bryce's dress is hella cute. Anthony Ryan and Laura's looks are red-hot messes, but Bert's wasn't nearly as bad. Joshua's team's looks were ugly, but not disasters. On the whole, there's not much to love.

There's loads of bitching on the runway, especially between Bert and Anthony Ryan. Anthony Ryan has a lot of damn nerve -- his outfit is fugly as hell. If it looked great, he'd have more room to criticize Bert's. His drape-y shorts gave his model cameltoe and camelbutt. Bert is downright joyful when the judges say his is the best of the team's and slam Laura and Anthony Ryan.

Winner: Viktor. Yay! I love him and that look was awesome. Joshua's named a winner too, but mostly for Anya's maxi dress. Which he ruined by putting that stripe down the middle. Blech.





Bye-bye: Danielle. It came down to her and Anthony Ryan, but they booted her because he at least showed promise in the past. I think that's BS. I mean, I love me some Anthony Ryan, but if the producers/judges had balls, they would have kicked him out. Heh. Balls. Unintentional pun about Anthony Ryan and his testicular cancer.

The Challenge: Rivals

There's not a whole hell of a lot to say about a Final Challenge episode. No drinking, no sex, no fights, just physical competition. And lame stuff, like shoveling dirt. Though it IS fun to watch Jenn cry and then get pissed and want to quit.

They threw in a food thing this year which is pretty brilliant. After doing all that hard, hot work, they have to eat everything on a table. TIME FOR PUKE!!!!! Wes in particular has some spectacular puke, because he's been heaving all day anyway.

I thought the puke would be the grossest part, but Wes develops some kind of growth behind his knee. I don't know what's going on, but Kenny actually picks his huge ass up and carries Wes up a mountain.

This Final Challenge is an overnight challenge, and Jenn and Mandi get disqualified because they don't make it to the checkpoint in time. There's a lot of midnight puking as the pairs have to take turns sleeping.

It's morning and time for another hike up a rocky mountain to find a key and unlock a trophy at the finish line. Mike quits because he's too sick to continue, and realizes he and Leroy have no shot anyway. TJ's not hard enough on him. Pussy.

Winners: Johnny and Tyler and Evelyn and Paula. Go Key West.

Jesus Christ - Stop Procreating!

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are getting ready for another baby!

The couple, who are parents to two daughters – Violet, 5½, and Seraphina, 2½ – are "thrilled" to be expecting their third child, they confirm to the Associated Press.

Garner and Affleck, both 39, have each spoken of being hands-on parents.

Actually, I'm all for this. They seem like awesome parents and their kids are cute and have good names. Just please don't split up....

Breaking Bad

We open like we did a couple weeks ago, with the interior of a Pollos Hermanos truck. This time it's not Mike, but two armed guys inside. They're ambushed again, but instead of being shot up, exhaust fumes are fed into the back of the truck until they die. The ambushers know just what they're looking for - the marked batter bucket that contains the meth.

When we last left Walter, he couldn't keep his whore mouth shut. Now it's the next day, and Skyler has done her research on Gale while Walter was passed out. Walter wants to treat the meth business and home life as "church and state," but of course that's not going to be good enough for Skyler. She's worried that he wants to be caught, and she reiterates that they need to go to the police if he's in danger. Walter awesomely puts her in her place, tells her to STFU, and says that HE'S the danger, that he's the one who knocks on doors. Oh god, he's such a phony, emasculated, condescending prick; I love it. When Walter gets out of the shower, Skyler's gone. She stays gone overnight too, and the next day Walter's out with Junior and buys him a car. A brand new sportscar. Because of course Walter wants to prove himself to be the man in his son's eyes. Bastard.

Jesse's still working his second job with Mike, which tonight involves keeping him company at a diner. Jesse's got some withdrawal symptoms going on, so Mike nicely shares his dinner. OMG, these two, seriously - love it! Forget that Gucci Zen rehab - the Mike method is going to stick!!

Walter is sooo hot and bothered over Jesse's new standing in the company. He just wants subservient Jesse back so - once again - he can feel like The Man. He tells Jesse that he thinks the whole thing is a setup by Gus, that he's trying to drive a wedge between them. Goddammit, man, let Jesse feel good for 10 seconds!

In the lab, the phone rings. It's for Jesse. He's called out on assignment and Walter's left to clean up. Walter tries to get some laundry ladies to come downstairs to help him. They initially don't want to, because I'm sure they're told never to go downstairs, but he convinces them/bribes them to do it. So he freaking pours himself a cup of coffee, toasts the camera, and lets the ladies do the work. Jesus, this whole thing is one giant chess match. I love it.

Gus rewards the ladies with a bus trip back to Honduras.

Mike and Jesse are watching a house that's suspected of holding stolen meth. Jesse's not one to just wait around, so he goes to the house "looking to buy." It doesn't work, so back to Mike's original plan - 90% of the job is waiting. But no, Jesse's still not satisfied and he's gonna get those guys to come out - "I know meth heads." He gets the shovel from the trunk and starts digging in their yard. A junkie comes out to see what he's doing. "Digging." Jesse uses his Meth Whisperer skills and gets the junkie to take over the digging. Once inside the house, Jesse has a bit of a standoff with another unstable, gun-toting meth head (Dewey Crowe!), but knocks him out with a bong. He and Mike find a Pollos batter bucket and there's a message written in Spanish - "Are you ready to talk?"

Gus stops by where Mike and Jesse are having another romantic dinner. Jesse goes outside so the big boys can talk. Mike wants to hire 10-15 guys to hit back hard, but Gus wants a Cold War. He's willing to set up a meeting. When he leaves, he tells Jesse he heard he's been doing well. And says that he sees things in people, when Jesse asks, "Why me?"

While Skyler was out, she visited the Four Corners and threw a coin, which landed in Colorado twice. But she kicked it over into New Mexico and returns home. She wants the car gone, because of course it doesn't fit in with their story. "Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family." BURN. This bitch is officially Carmela Soprano.

30 Minutes or Less

30 Minutes or Less gets an "I've Seen Worse" rating from me. Which means, "I've Seen Funnier." With a cast featuring Danny McBride, Nick Swardson, and Aziz Ansari, it should have been the funniest movie ever. It's not awful, but something just failed in the execution. Now, it could be the subject matter. I mean, strapping a bomb to a pizza guy and forcing him to rob a bank is something that actually happened, and ended badly. So it's hard from the beginning for me to buy this as a comedy. But action/crime/comedies have worked before - I'm thinking of Pineapple Express. This wasn't as good as that. But I could watch Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari read the phone book and I'd be amused, so I've seen worse.

It's not an awful movie. It's not a total waste of time. And if it's 100 degrees outside, it's not a bad idea. Ringing endorsement!

The Challenge: Rivals

When we last left CT, he was beginning to rage out. Unfortunately, he didn't crack Johnny across the face. CT's just standing up for Adam, because they'll always have Paris.

The Jungle: It's CT and Adam vs. Johnny and Tyler in a thing that's hard to explain. But it has elements of football/rugby, so CT's about to crack some heads. He rocks Tyler and it's awesome. It's super-close and CT ends up carrying Adam across the finish by his shorts. Unfortunately, not in time.

Bye-bye: CT and Adam. Because Adam screwed up. Bummer. Wow, they really edited this well, because I'm actually sad for those dudes, and normally who gives a crap. They're making it out like it's the most devastating loss of all time. Maybe it is. But I'm not buying that Johnny and Tyler are in love and some kind of unstoppable force.

The Final Challenge is taking place in Patagonia. I thought that was a brand of backpack or something. Hiking gear, something like that? It's gorgeous, whatever it is, all green and mountains and lakes.

Wes continues his crusade against Cara Maria. She dares him to make her cry. Oh, sweetie, no. I'm surprised it doesn't happen, and she actually stands up for herself. It's not hard to counter Wes's "you're immature" argument when the man poured Coke all over your head. Pot, kettle, Wes.

It's the morning of the Final and Tyler and Jenn have food poisoning. Tyler's is worse, and he decides to compete against doctor's orders. Dumbass.

And so the Final begins. It's pretty hysterical how bad Jenn and Mandi are at kayaking. Like, so bad. But then Wes and Kenny are in their kayak backwards, so they're not much better.

To be continued, of course.

Project Runway

Challenge: Design a day-to-evening look for Nina Garcia. Oh snap - I want one of these guys to cry. She's a little picky during the sketch consultations, but no tears. Damn.

Anthony Ryan and Becky choose the same patterned fabric. Fabric Showdown!! When Nina comes through the workroom, it's the Nina I love - picky as hell, freaking out the designers and putting doubts in their minds. "Do we have a Plan B?" "Are there any other textiles?" AHAHAHAHA! There's a ton of last minute work, designers helping other designers, and gluing. Gluing is never good.

Joshua's dress doesn't at all look like something Nina would wear. Ick. I loved Anthony Ryan's and Kimberly's looks. Danielle's and Cecilia's were godawful. Anya's jumpsuit was wonderful. Julie was colorblocking like it was the 90s; that housecoat was ugly as hell. Bryce can't execute an idea well to save his life. Viktor's black dress was structured and gorgeous, but it was just a safe-ish black dress. The judges end up being fine with that so YAY - I love Viktor.

Winner: Kimberly. Yay! That gold top was perfection and soooo Nina!! And when they show Nina wearing it later, it's absolutely fabulous.



Bye-bye: Julie. Yeah, that was overdue and we're only a couple weeks in. Didn't see much improvement on the horizon. Look at this picture - even the model looks depressed about having to wear this.

I Heart Andy Dwyer

And these are just some of the reasons why....

These Two Are Awesome

They're probably my favorite so-odd-it's-perfect couple of all time. Mazel tov.

David Cross and his longtime girlfriend, Amber Tamblyn, are engaged to be married, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.

The actress, 28 – who starred in General Hospital and Joan of Arcadia before moving on to the big screen in the 2005 hit The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants – recently returned to TV with a role on House.

Cross, 47, is perhaps best known for his outrageousness on the 2003-06 cult sitcom Arrested Development. Talk of a feature movie based on the show has long been circulating. Currently, he stars in the British-American comedy TV series The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret.

Breaking Bad

Walter and his Aztec are on a frantic mission - find Jesse Pinkman. He drives to a Pollos (with his gun) and demands to see Gus. As he waits in his rapidly-increasing state of paranoia, he gets a call from Mike, who says he's got Jesse for the day, and that Walter needs to get back to work.

It's nice to see that Jesse's still got an ounce of self-preservation left, as he seems scared about what Mike has in store and has a plan for self-defense that involves his keys. But when they arrive at their destination, and Mike pulls a shovel out of the trunk, it's not to kill Jesse. Instead, Mike goes out into the desert and digs up a bag of money. Then he tells Jesse that they have to do this 6 more times today, so get in the car.

Jesse's eager to fill the role of guard while Mike gets the money from the hideouts. It's at this point that I wonder if it's a test, like to see how far gone Jesse is. He doesn't seem to be having withdrawal symptoms, so that's good. Whatever the reason, Mike's learning what it's like to be trapped in a car with Jesse all day. And it's hysterical. My favorite kind of Jesse - Bored Jesse - is back!

Then I wonder if the real point of the whole exercise is Walter, back at the lab working. A test to see if he can cook by himself, or even just to toy with him and make him even more paranoid about what could happen to Jesse. Walter is able to cook alone, but it looks hard and he finishes just in time to buy the car wash with Skyler. Buying car washes makes Skyler horny; their reconciliation is consummated, and she invites him to move back in -- for appearances, of course.

In other news, Hank's still consulting with his cop friend on Gale's murder, and tells him the only people he knows connected to the blue meth are Badger and Jesse. The police sketch is of Victor - sigh of relief there. Hank tells the cop that he's done with the case, that finding Heisenberg has given him closure and he's ready to move on.

At their last pickup stop, some armed thugs pull up and block Mike's car in an alley. Jesse spots the dude with the gun walking toward him while Mike is inside the building. He throws it into reverse, slams the other car, and then drives off. Mike's calling someone to come pick him up when I say, "Awwwww!" out loud - Jesse pulls up to the curb, having not forgotten about his new BFF. Mike seems impressed, even allowing Jesse to smoke. THESE TWO ARE GOING TO BE THE GREATEST TEAM EVER!!!

The next day, Walter arrives at the lab to find Jesse working, and wonders what's up. Jesse tells Walter that he was Mike's guard for a day and saved the stash when they were ambushed. And he's meeting up with Mike this afternoon - "Guess I have 2 jobs now." OH SNAP, JESSE!!!! Love it! It turns out that even the ambush was part of a test put in place by Gus. He wants Jesse to feel like a hero, and I'm not sure if this is to help out Jesse and get him on the straight and narrow (in a criminal way anyway), or to drive Walter nuts with jealousy. Probably both.

The final scene is a piece of work. Holy crap. The Whites are having dinner at Hank and Marie's house. Walter's clearly irritated by Skyler and Gus and Mike and Jesse and he's drinking. Junior asks Hank how the Gale case is going and Hank says he's done with it, but goes on about how Gale was a genius, imagine what he could have done if he applied it to good, etc. That's the last straw for Walter, who can't resist insulting a dead man to make himself feel better. He tells Hank that, in his opinion, the notebook wasn't the sign of a genius - that it was merely copied down, and likely someone else's work.

Sometimes I yell at fictional characters. This was one of those times. Jesus Christ, Walter! Let it go! He has such a need for control and such a need to get credit for his work that he can't keep his mouth shut and just let Hank lose interest. Nope. Cuz Hank is interested now. He's working on the case even more the next day, and something sticks out to him. Gale was a hippie vegan, eating organic and all that -- but he has Los Pollos Hermanos stuff in the apartment. Well, there you go - now Hank has a key piece and he just needs to figure out how it fits.

Screw you, Walter White. You brought this on yourself. Thank God Jesse has that second job now!!!

Jessica Alba Names All Of Her Kids After Nouns

Haven is a stripper's name, right?

Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren have added another little girl their brood: baby Haven Garner Warren.

"She was born on Saturday, weighed 7 lbs. and was 19 inches long," Alba wrote on her official Facebook page, announcing the happy news. "Healthy and happy! Big sister Honor couldn't be more excited about the new addition to our family."

Project Runway

Challenge: Design a look for a girl on stilts. No lie. It's the Bizarre Costumey Challenge. And it's a team challenge - randomly drawn teams of two. This was the runway I could have attended if I had woken up early enough in NYC!

Bert's a Debbie Downer. He takes literally (and challenges) everything that Viktor says. Bert's bothering me more and more. He's difficult to work on a team with; it's painful. He's passive-aggressive and bitchy as hell. Which of course means it makes good television. Jesus, Tim Gunn doesn't want to hear your whining.

Anya and Olivier are a dream team, but their outfit is just OK. Josh and Julie chose an amazing pattern for their pants. Fallene is a sewing tard and botches the bodice, so Bryce has to whip something up last-minute, and it's essentially a tank top. Fallene literally makes nothing but the headpiece. Dumb bitch. Cecilia and Danielle made a matronly look that wasn't helped by the god-awful hair. Laura and Anthony Ryan's red outfit was amazing.

Meanwhile, something is all jacked-up because Cecilia and Danielle are in the top? What? All of the top outfits were the most normal-looking - non-costumey and ready-to-wear (if you're 100 feet tall). So I guess the judges have a point; were they not supposed to be so over-the-top? I loved Kimberly and Becky's jacket/pants combo too. But I stand by Cecilia and Danielle's thing being awful. Yuck. Bert and Viktor made bad curtains. And of course Bert is like, "I didn't create this; it's not mine." Ass.

Winner: Laura, who made the fabulous red outfit with Anthony Ryan.



Bye-bye: Fallene. And thank god too because the headpiece was the only part of the outfit the judges liked, so I thought she was almost off the hook. Bye, sweetie, go back to cutting hair with your cute Pixie self.

I Love Tina Fey

I love everything about Tina Fey, except that she has children. In a perfect world, Tina Fey would be the face of women who don't want kids. But she's apparently a conformist breeder, so whatever.

That being said, I love the names, so GO TINA!

Tina Fey, already mom to 5-year-old Alice, has introduced a new addition to the family.

The 30 Rock star welcomed a healthy baby girl, Penelope Athena Richmond, on Wednesday with her composer husband Jeffrey Richmond, 50, her rep tells PEOPLE.

<3 Penelope!!!!

SYTYCD Finale: Part Two

How quickly I've forgotten all of these people as they come out for the Top 20 dance. Ryan, that Russian bitch, Jess -- nope, don't miss any of you.

Cat is lovely in a red sequined number, but I was expecting something over-the-top for the finale, no? Sonya and Mary are rocking some HUGE skirts on their dresses. I guess Cat wanted to be quietly stylish by comparison. It's the brilliance of Cat. I will no longer question it.

Let's fast-forward through all the retrospectives and just get to the judges' picks for Best Of, 'K?

Sasha and Kent's intense wall dance. Marko and Melanie's peppy little Nappy Tabs routine -- you know, the one with The Kiss. Tadd and Lauren's "Another One Bites the Dust" -- was that the best they could do for a Tadd number? Miranda and Robert's Busta Rhymes (yeah, that was good). The one where Melanie flew across the stage and into Neil's arms. Marko and Allison's beautiful Sonya routine. The Geishas with the Top 10 Girls. We also got a great tap performance from Nick, Jess, and the UK Winner.

4th Place: Tadd. Yep, that's 100% accurate.

Let's continue with the dancing. Ashley and Chris (oh how I've forgotten you, Chris) and their jail routine. Twitch and Sasha's sexy little hip hop. The Top 10 Guys doing their cool Matrix-y hip hop. Alexander has some crazy-ass blonde hair now. Of course he does. Argentine Tango from Caitlynn and Pasha. Melanie and Marko as statues.

At this point, Sasha joins them on stage. OMG - Marko's going to get kicked out in a statue costume! Poor guy.

3rd Place: Marko. Yep, I'm a psychic. That's exactly how it should go. But yeah - he's getting kicked out in an awful costume. At least they didn't make him wear the full white makeup.

The final dance is the Melanie and Sasha Sonya Jazz routine. It's almost as if they knew they'd be in the Top 2....

And The Winner Is: Melanie. Wow! I'm kind of surprised! I think it should have been Sasha, but it's not like I'm going to say Melanie sucks. Go Tree Trunks McPixieson!!!

The Challenge: Rivals

Paula and Mike need to stop making out. I'm trying to keep food down.

They travel to this amazing villa in Argentina, and proceed to drunkenly tear it apart. Wes pours a 2-liter of Pepsi all over Cara Maria because Wes is 3. OMG, you guyyyyyys, Cara Maria's life is so haaaarrrrrddddd! Laurel takes up her cause and goes after Wes with a bottle of soda - but Tyler stops her from ruining the piano. Because we can't ruin the piano!!!! And LOL Laurel calls Paula 39 years old. I wonder if that's true. Either way, Paula starts crying and I start laughing.

Unfortunately, we can't just have fighting for an hour straight so we're interrupted by a Challenge: some crap about swinging from a helicopter above the water... whatever. BACK TO NAME CALLING AND SODA THROWING!

Winners: Evelyn and Paula. Jesus, again? Michael and Leroy. Well, those newbs skated into the finals, huh?

Losers: CT and Adam. And TJ demands a vote right away, so there's no time for everyone to deliberate and group-think. HAHA! Johnny and Tyler end up there. I hope CT murders them; they're babies. Tyler feels betrayyyyyed and gives Paula the kind of guilt trip I thought only my mother was capable of.

We don't get the Jungle til next week. Too bad, because CT is drunk, fired up, and ready.

SYTYCD Finale: Part One

Performance Show Finale time. Crazy. Where did the season go?

Cat's eyes and lips are BOTH hella wonky tonight. She def looks a hot mess. Speaking of hot messes, Katie Holmes is the guest judge. Hot robot mess. (But she looks good.) After all of her comments I would say, "Thanks, Mrs. Tom Cruise." Because, seriously, you're adding nothing. Go.

1. Marko and Melanie - Disco by Doriana Sanchez. Melanie in a skimpy outfit isn't doing it for me; she's got a weird pasty body. The dance was boring as hell. These two deserved SO MUCH BETTER. I suppose they executed what they needed to execute (well, not the lifts - those looked struggling), but it was cringe-worthy and pretty awful.

2. Sasha and Mark - Jazz by Sonya. Great to see Mark do a Sonya routine again, but it was really meant to showcase Sasha. And it certainly did. Jesus, she is amazing; her body does crazy things. She's like the perfect combination of athlete and artist. Definitely rewound it and watched it again right away.

3. Tadd and Joshua - Hip Hop by Lil C. OH SNAP SON JOSHUA IS BACK!!!! And look, Tadd, I love you but JOSHUA IS THE BOMB! I pretty much just watched him. He rules so hard and we haven't seen him in ages. I was like a kid on Christmas I was so giddy over it. I'm gay for the dance, what can I say? It was a hard, buck routine and Tadd was great. Great pairing. I'm a happy fangirl.

4. Melanie and Robert - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey. It was a lovely, emotional routine that suited her SO much better than that disco crap. Beautifully danced.

5. Sasha and Marko - Broadway by Spencer Liff. It was a playful, fun routine and Sasha was hella sexy. Loved it!

6. Sasha and Tadd - Cha Cha by Some Dude. It was alright. I think I was thrown by how much taller she is than him. Their partnering was way off and it seemed hard and awkward. Her body's just so amazing though - she looks great.

7. Marko and Lauren - Contemporary by Some Totally New Chick. It was a great routine and emotional, especially on Lauren's part. It was the perfect routine for him - really strong and beautiful - and they made a great pair.

8. Melanie and Tadd - Jazz by A Dude. It was a little trifle of a routine, complete with tearaway pants. So, you know, kind of corny but still a good time. Melanie is really good at doing character pieces; she'll be an actress, I'm sure.

9. Melanie and Sasha - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey. They were so lovely together and they're both good at the acting part, actually.

10. Marko and Tadd - Hip Hop that Incorporated Gumboot Stepping by a Dude. It was weird because the routine was really fast, but their legs looked like they were moving too slowly. Like they were heavy or something. I'm sure it's just that they're exhausted. It just wasn't the best way to feature the Asian Explosion.

Let's just rewatch Sasha and Mark 100 times and give the girl the damn award just for that thing.

Project Runway

Challenge: Design an outfit using materials found in a pet store. But no live animals. If I never hear "wee wee pads" again it'll be too soon.

Since Bert has immunity, he plays it safe and uses a lot of fabric-like stuff. He's fussy, and doesn't want to play the unconventional challenge game. He's not long for this world, I fear.

Viktor's wee wee pad dress is really pretty; I like how he did the dyeing. Anthony Ryan's birdseed dress looked good - it had texture and pattern to it. Bert's thing was atrocious; thank god he has immunity. Bryce's wee wee pad dress was horrific and just looked like a ton of napkins thrown up on a skirt. I didn't love Olivier's dress like the judges did. I thought the skirt made his model's butt look huge, though I did love the top (but wasn't the top all doggie-bed, and therefore too fabric-like and conventional?).

Winner: Olivier. Whatever!


Bye-bye: Josh C. Wow, I'm surprised Bryce got by with the wee wee pad explosion. But yeah, Josh C. clearly had some taste issues.

Breaking Bad

We open with Mike riding in a truck full of Pollos meth batter. The truck is stopped and shot to hell by a couple guys with automatic weapons. Mike lays low and survives (with only a nasty shot to the ear) and shoots the two thugs when they open the truck. Looks like someone has it out for Gus's operation.

Skyler can't sleep because she's too busy plotting out their entire cover story; she even goes to Gamblers Anonymous meetings with Walt for research. Better yet -- she's making Walt learn how to count cards for real!!! OMG! Brilliant. Skyler approaches it as she would a short story (remember when she was a wannabe writer?) as they prepare to "come clean" to the family. It's hysterical. Bryan Cranston rules. I love this show and its sitcom tendencies.

Hank breaks out a little something for Walter and Walter Jr. -- a DVD of Gale doing karaoke that he got from his case file. He's laughing while Walter looks like he wants to puke. I hope full video of Gale doing karaoke is on the DVD extras. (Update: it's here!)

After the confession to the family, Walter excuses himself -- so he can go through Gale's case file in Hank's room. He sees the crime scene photos and the notebook, but has to stop looking once Hank approaches. Walter gets Hank to talk to him about the case -- Hank thinks Gale is Heisenberg -- while scouring the notebook for any clues that might lead back to him. Hank notes that the notebook is dedicated to "W.W." - OH SNAP!!! Walter quickly covers that it must reference Walt Whitman, the author of the poem Gale recited and wrote in the notebook. That Walter White is GOOD (sometimes).

Walter goes to Jesse's house - and this is the first time he's seeing the crack den it has become. He tells Jesse that the police found fingerprints at the scene of Gale's murder and he presses poor Jesse for details on the night. Jesus, Walter, you're killing me. I hate you again. Jesse kicks him out (or, more accurately, pays a couple crackheads 100 bucks to kick him out).

Walter goes to Saul with his issues instead, freaking out about how much danger he's in, freaking out that Jesse will be caught or that Gus will be afraid Jesse will be caught and take care of Jesse himself. And freaking out that Jesse has "actual hobos" living in his house. After making sure his own name has never come up in the investigation, Saul lets Walter know that, when the time comes, he knows a guy who can help the Whites disappear. The paranoia continues at the lab, where Walter watches the surveillance camera follow Jesse.

Back in the crack den, Jesse leaves his money lying around way too much and one of the druggies has his eye on it. He also appears to still be skimming drugs from the lab. NO! He comes home, sees the entire bag of money is missing, and goes back to playing video games with a skank. Ugh, I want to slap him and hug him at the same time.

The next morning, Mike comes to Jesse's house to wake him up. He kicked everyone out, except for the guy who stole his money. (I'm guessing Mike's been watching the house and saw the guy take the money.) Jesse just takes his money and goes back to bed. This is not good; Mike reports back to Gus that Jesse is a liability that must be taken care of.

When Jesse doesn't come to work, Walter goes looking for him, only to find an empty house and Jesse's abandoned cell phone. Then he goes back to the lab and asks the surveillance camera, "Where is he?"

He's with Mike, driving. Mike: "You wanna ask where we're going?" Jesse: "Nope."
The end. Mothereffers.

The Challenge: Rivals

Oh god Michael and Paula are hooking up and MY EYES! THEY'RE BURNING! Gross. There are crabs loose in the house, but not the kind you think. They're even in Mandi's room. Appropriate.

Challenge: Blast your hanging partner with a fire hose, prison-riot-style, so that they move back toward giant razors that will then cut their rope and drop them into the water. Giant razors -- what could possibly go wrong? Tragically, there are no beheadings.

Losers: Cara Maria and Laurel, who want to go up against Jenn and Mandi. But Jasmine and Jonna are the newbies, so they have to go in. Why does everyone protect Jenn all of the sudden?

It's Pre-Jungle Clubbing Time and that only means trouble. Jenn's offended that Cara Maria thinks she's having sex with Adam and gets all up in her face and slaps her. That Jenn, always classy. I'm loving that Cara Maria and Abram are still dating; they're sweet together, in a weird way.

The Jungle: Football-style tackling your opponent, forcing them outside the circle. The whole house is on Team Fiery Black Chicks because they hate Cara Maria.

Bye-bye: Jasmine and Jonna. Though they may be fiery, they're also weedy, and they're easily runover by the bigger girls.

For the next challenge, they're all heading to Buenos Aires. I hate these people so much.