American Idol: Tony Bennett Style

I love Tony Bennett - because when I see him, I think of Alec Baldwin's spot-on impression of him. "It's great."

Blake, Melinda, and LaKisha were really good. Gina was too - she showed she can sing something completely opposite the rock thing she usually excels at. Jordin was awesome. During her performance, Mike said "My horse has come in" - she's his pick to win. I can totally see her beating Melinda - she's young and cute. I wouldn't be opposed to that.

Chris was alright; I still don't like him. Soul Sucker Phil is growing his hair back a bit, but that's even worse. He's got the worst kind of Captain Picard baldness happening. Growing hair didn't help; maybe a tan? He was dullsville.

Haley (she's still in this?) is the only skinny whore left. I said her performance reminded me of a Miss USA Talent Competition performance. Simon called her "pageanty". Simon and I are like THIS.

Sanjaya will totally get through again this week because Tony Bennett is a fan of his (WTF?). And he wasn't as bad as he usually is. He was all, "I want to show America I can sing." Even I went awwwwwww. The poor young kid gets decimated by America every week. Oh god, I'm sympathizing with Sanjaya! Help!

Go home: Phil. Or Haley.